It WAS a Normal Day in the Market
by Kaze-chan
Summary: And now for something different. Doulin used to be just a normal girl (well, normal for her), but through some very strange happenings she discovers she's a Byakko no shichiseishi. Now she's abandoned her family to help search for the remaining seishi.
1. Chapter 1: Board CRACK

  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doulin-chan and Lanva-kun! Don't I wish I did though!   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Ahh, the poor Byakko. Some of the most popular characters of the entire series and they get written about the least. It's a grave injustice I tell you! This is my first Byakko fic (starring Subaru!) and hopefully it won't be my last. I like these guys too much to abandon them.   
Technical stuff now. I don't know Subaru's maiden name, or her family situation. I made them up for this story. However, that IS her real first name, and Tokaki's entire name is the real deal. Rated for mild violence, mild language (two or three curses), and of course, Lanva's favorite past time.   
And a "lech" is a woman-chaser.   
_Note to new readers (which I don't think there are many): this chapter and several of the ones following it are going to be rewritten when I find the time/energy/inspiration. Going back and looking at them, I am not happy with what's posted. So I'm going to change it ^_^ Not the plot and incidents, but the pacing is going to be slowed, there's going to be more description and emotion, all the usual things. It might take awhile, but I WILL fix these things. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd like to hear them. (Note added August 18, 2002)_   
  


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I was shopping in the market the day it all began. Well, the day it all began for me; I found out later that it all began much earlier. But at that point I had no idea what was coming.   
I had gone into the market to buy some fresh fruit for dinner and privately ogle the cloth on display at Hiroya's stand. He always had the best fabric, and I needed a new dress. Unfortunately, my little fruiting expedition had become something more akin to restocking the entire kitchen, and I was more conspicuous than usual. I paused at his stand, hoping to set down my purchases before I attracted his attention, but luck was not with me. The little man bustled over to me even as I hid a groan. "Doulin-san! How nice to see you again so soon!"   
I smiled back at him. "Konnichi wa, Hiroya-san." I had nothing personal against him; in fact he was a very kind man. But he was such a salesman that even I would walk away from bargaining with him carrying more than I needed. I was privately proud of the fact that most of the time I came away with only enough fabric for two dresses; most women bought enough for four or more.   
Hiroya was about to open the bargain when I caught a glint out of the corner of my eye. I turned in its direction and saw an unusual-looking young man leaning against the corner support of Hiroya's stand, smirking at me. Unusual-looking because he had the eyes of a hawk, or possibly a cat, and hair as white as mine, even though he couldn't possibly be older than twenty-five. The glare had been the sun's reflection off of one of his large, gold hoop earrings. His smirk widened as our eyes met and he nodded at me in a seemingly congenial manner, but I knew what was up. I'd gotten this before, several times, and simply glared at him before returning to Hiroya. No lech, young or old, would get me that easily.   
"Now then, what do you require today, Doulin-san?" Hiroya opened the bargain in our typical manner. I explained what I wanted, and he in turn took out several bolts of cloth that fit my needs. I examined them closely, checking the tightness of the weave and the weight and texture of the fabric before choosing a light blue linen. Hiroya cut off the required amount, and the real bargain began.   
A few minutes later Hiroya and I bowed to each other, sealing the bargain, and I handed him his money, which vanished even as I watched. I turned away from the booth and began tracing my way through the crowds to my home on the edge of town, feeling very pleased with myself. I had come off better than usual today, only buying enough of a creamy pink wool fabric to make an extra skirt.   
"You drive a pretty hard bargain," a voice behind me said.   
I spun, coming face-to-face with the lech from earlier. Admittedly, he _was_ very easy on the eyes, but a lech is a lech is a lech no matter what the looks. "How would you know? Or care?" I glared at him again.   
He simply grinned wider. "I was at that stand for awhile, you're the only one who didn't buy enough to make a whole new wardrobe. I like that in a girl."   
Was he insane? "Why would _you_ spend the day hanging around a _cloth stand_?"   
He tried to look innocent, but it wasn't working too well. "It's a good place to meet girls."   
Yep, definitely a lech.   
He took a casual step forward, bringing himself up next to me. "Ne, I was thinking." Suddenly his arm snaked around my shoulder and I stared at it in horror and contempt. "How about you and me stop in at a tavern for a drink?"   
I dug into the basket in which I was carrying my purchases, scrambling for something to get him away. The cloth came into my hand. I dropped the basket and swung, connecting with the side of his head with a satisfying crack.   
The cloth was wrapped around a nice, hard, short plank and I was a strong girl. The weight on my shoulder was gone, and the lech was sprawled in the middle of the street, looking dazed. I shot him a contemptuous glare, retrieved my basket, and made my way through the crowd that had gathered to stare.   
I was a couple of streets away when I heard that same voice again. "Don't you know it's not polite to hit people upside the head?"   
"Don't _you_ know it's not polite to hit on women who clearly don't like you?" I turned and again glared into those hawkish eyes.   
And again he grinned, although not wolfishly as he had before. "We seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot, let's start over. My name's Hahm Lanva. What's yours?"   
I openly studied him for a moment, then against my better judgement, said "Tamure Doulin."   
"There, that wasn't so hard, was it? Need any help?"   
My refusal was cut off by a nearby scream. I spun, looking for the trouble, and caught sight of a man racing away from a jeweler's stand, knocking several people over. I heard a muffled curse beside me, but when I looked, Lanva was gone. The people around me were beginning to surge in the direction of the thief, and I was pushed along with them, back the way I had come, shouts of "Matte! Thief! Robbery!" ringing in my ears. Then came the second scream. The one that was abruptly cut off. The one that sounded familiar.   
I pushed my way through the crowd in the direction of the sound and screamed myself when I arrived at the source. Hiroya was lying on the ground outside his stall, bleeding freely from a hole in his stomach. Two people were trying to make the bleeding stop, but most of them were standing well away, the fear evident on their faces. I fell to the ground next to the little merchant, my purchases scattering over the road. "Nani?! Nani, Hiroya-san, what happened?!"   
The man trying to get the torn shirt off paused briefly to look at me. "Damn fool tried to stop that thief."   
A woman was tearing off some strips of her sleeve to make bandages and didn't pause in her work. "The thief had a knife. Hiroya-san didn't know what happened until it was hilt-deep in his gut."   
"Baka! Ahou!" I shouted at him, feeling tears gather in my eyes. "Why did you do that?!"   
He simply smiled tiredly at me. "I couldn't let him get away, Doulin-san."   
"BAKA! You might die!!" I knew from grave experience that gut wounds were the deadliest. That was how I'd lost my brother, in the war. Instead of the kindly merchant, I saw my aniki in front of me. The aniki who used to take me playing in the forest, and sneaking off for a couple of days to visit the white-hot desert. Who snuck me little extra treats at mealtimes, and had watched over me almost from my birth. Who, not even a year before, had joined the army in the war against Kutou. I had secretly watched him wearing his brand-new company armor, giggling as he posed in front of his mirror, thinking whoever he married would not be good enough for him because he was so wonderful. My aniki, who had slowly died on the battlefield, not a friend or relative to comfort him among the corpses.   
"I've got him!" Lanva's voice cut through my sobs as the crowd parted ways, revealing Lanva dragging an unconscious man who was bleeding at the temple. He was undoubtedly the thief.   
All my logic was gone. I launched myself at him and grabbed his shirt, tearing him from Lanva's grip and shaking him mercilessly. "FIX HIM! FIX HIM! IF YOU DON'T MAKE HIM RIGHT I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" One small portion of my mind knew the thief was unconscious and could do nothing, but I didn't care. "FIIIX HIIIM!!!"   
"Doulin-san!" Lanva yanked the thief away from me and pushed him into the crowd, where several people were waiting to restrain him even though he could do nothing. Lanva grabbed my wrists, holding them in front of me in a strong grip. "Calm down, do you hear me?!"   
My eyes were still streaming tears. "YOU DID THIS! YOU FIX HIM!!" I yelled at the thief, my voice ragged and harsh.   
And time seemed to stop.   
I was suddenly filled with what I could only think of as white fire, coursing through my nerves and my muscles and every inch of my body, filling me more completely than even I myself did, concentrating at a point on the left side of my chest. Light exploded out from that point, brilliant white light brighter than the noontime sun, making everyone but Lanva and myself cover their eyes. I looked down, and plainly shining through my dress, in a place I knew would embarrass me later, was the character "rise".   
I didn't question the words that came to my mind, words that seemed to float out of the white fire and land gently on my tongue. "Time turn back on the body of Hiroya to this point of yesterday!" My voice was clear and strong as I called out the words, my tears abated. The hole in Hiroya's stomach suddenly disappeared, as did the blood, and he sat up, blinking in confusion. I turned at a movement from the thief and saw him looking at me in horror, no longer unconscious nor wounded. He immediately tried to run away in terror, but was prevented by the sheer number of people that had gathered.   
The light faded, the fire flooded out of my now empty shell of a body, as Lanva began to talk again, almost complaining. "I went through all that trouble to knock him out and you undo it all in an instant." He walked over to the frantic thief and calmly wrapped one hand around the back of his neck. The thief's eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the ground, again unconscious.   
"Now that that's taken care of – DOULIN-SAN!" Lanva rushed forward to catch me as I started to follow the thief's example, feeling more entirely depleted and drained than I ever had in my seventeen years of life.   
"I'm fine… just a bit… woozy." The world was beginning to tilt rhythmically in front of me. It felt right to be held by Lanva.   
I knew there was something seriously wrong with me.   
"Damn baka woman, you used too much power at once. And uncontrolled, too!" He glanced around warily, pulling me to my feet again. The crowd was starting to close in around us, buzzing with the news of a woman who shone with white light. "We've got to get you out of here."   
I shook my head slightly to clear it and vaguely reached out a hand. "My things…"   
The handle of my basket was pushed into my hand and my fingers instinctively closed around it. I looked down hazily into Hiroya's smiling face. "It's all here, Doulin-chan." I didn't really register the change in term. "I got everything back for you. And from now on your money is no good at my stand."   
"H-Hiroya?"   
He smiled again. "It's the least I can do to thank you."   
I only managed to smile at him before I was suddenly… not there.   
I looked around in confusion, noting an inn I'd gone to before for drinks with my friends, realizing I wasn't too far from my house. I also realized that not only was Lanva still there, he was still holding on to me. "Let go. Now."   
Amazingly, he complied. "Whatever you say Doulin-san. Or, should I say, Byakko no shichiseishi Subaru."   
I dropped the basket, nearly on my foot. "NANI?!" Clearly I was better now. And I had the satisfaction of seeing Lanva shrink back in fright.   
"Now I know what that thief felt," he muttered. I glared. He cleared his throat and straightened up again. "You've heard the legend of Byakko no Miko, ne?"   
Hadn't everyone? "'When the Sairou Empire is in great peril, there will appear in the land a girl from another world, who shall gather the Seven Stars of Byakko and gain the beast god's power,'" I intoned. With the war recently, the legend had surfaced and resurfaced until everyone knew it verbatim.   
"Hai. Well, she's here."   
"Uso… you mean the legend's real?"   
He grinned and swept an elaborate bow, then pointed at his cheek. A flash of light similar to the flood I had produced earlier, except much smaller, illuminated the character "stride". "Byakko no shichiseishi Tokaki at your service, Subaru-sama. Teleportation a specialty. Of course it's real, the symbol wouldn't have appeared unless it were and you were one of the seishi." His own symbol flashed again and faded, leaving his unusually handsome face normal again.   
"Tokaki…" I turned the name over in my mouth. It seemed to fit him better than Lanva. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"   
He shrugged. "I wasn't sure." Out of his shirt he produced a pure white scroll that looked very old and cracked at the edges. I was amazed that there wasn't a speck of dirt on it. He untied the strings and unrolled the scroll, searching it for a minute before handing it to me and pointing at two characters: "time" and "market". "That was all I had to go on, so for the past few days I've hanging around the market and waiting."   
"How'd you know it was me?" I glanced up from the scroll in time to see a half-guilty, half-wolfishly admiring look cross his face and frowned. "Or did you just follow me for my bust line?"   
"Well I was bored, what do you expect?" I pulled out the cloth threateningly. "A-Although y-your hair first caught my eye," he stammered.   
That confused me. "My hair?"   
He nodded again. "Byakko white, like mine." He cautiously reached forward and touched a long strand that had escaped its twisted loop. "It's a better idea than what I was given to work with."   
"Oh." I looked at the ground for a minute, thinking, then glanced up again. "Other than 'What happens now' I have one more question."   
"Nani?"   
"How come I didn't know this before?"   
He smirked slightly, leaning against the wall of the inn and folding his arms over his chest. "Come on, you mean to tell me that time's never acted strangely around you?"   
"I-" I fell silent. There had been times, especially during the monotony of house cleaning, when I had been daydreaming of trying a new recipe with the ingredients I'd just purchased or sneaking off to the market, the chores hadn't seemed to take long. And there were more… "I guess I never noticed." I sighed. "So what _does_ happen now?"   
"Well," he said, pushing himself off the wall with his hands and taking the scroll back, tying it up again, "first we go tell your family that you're Subaru, the legendary Byakko no shichiseishi who can control time."   
I winced and looked at the ground. "I honestly don't know how mother and father will react to that… They've already lost one child for their country, they probably don't want to lose another." An unbidden tear formed in my eye at the thought of my aniki, and I hoped he hadn't noticed the tremor in my voice.   
His hand, unexpectedly gentle, slipped under my chin and tilted my head up, his normally sarcastic eyes now filled with concern. "Was that why the merchant's wound was such a big deal to you?"   
"H-Hai… my aniki died that way, in the war. Just a few months ago." I closed my eyes since I couldn't move my head. The tear fell and I silently cursed it.   
Strong arms suddenly wrapped themselves around me. I opened my eyes to find myself looking at a blue shirt. "Don't worry Subaru. I can tell 'em I'll watch over you. If there's too much trouble I can get you out of there in the blink of an eye." He pulled back and winked at me.   
I had to smile. He was a real person after all, not just a womanizer. "I think they'd appreciate that. So… what after that?"   
"Then you get used to being called Subaru and calling me Tokaki."   
I had to laugh. Lanva – no, Tokaki had a sense of humor, too. "And then?"   
He looked at me seriously. "Then you go with me to the palace."   
"The _palace_?!"   
"Hai, the emperor's invited us all to stay at the palace with the miko. Typically it works better that way, having the miko and the seishi in the same place and all."   
"Oh," I replied meekly.   
He took one look at me and burst out laughing. "It's not as bad as all that. We get the royal treatment and the emperor's a pretty good guy. Tatara, another seishi, is already there, as is the miko, Suzuno." A slightly sour look passed across his face.   
I raised my eyebrows and grinned. "Suzuno not interested?"   
"Iya! And what's worse, she's stuck on Tatara! I mean, he's a good guy and all, but come on. Where's the competition? Which way is your house, and can I stay there tonight, I'm out of money." I blinked at the very abrupt change of topic, then smirked, knowing he was doing it on purpose to make me forget that at least one other woman rejected him. I picked up my basket and began walking in the direction of my home, Tokaki catching up quickly.   
The two of us walked in silence for awhile before his voice split the air. "Ne, Subaru, before that guy got better, what did you say?"   
I blinked again; he was good at throwing me off balance. "You didn't understand it?"   
"Iya, you were talking in some funny language."   
"Strange… it sounded normal to me. I just sort of knew what to say."   
He frowned slightly in thought. "Hmm… well, it must have something to do with your seishi powers then."   
"Hai, probably." The silence returned to us for a few moments.   
"Subaru, can I ask you one more thing?" Tokaki asked absently.   
"Nani?"   
"Can I see your seishi mark?"   
Cloth.   
WHACK!!!   
"NANI?!"   
"You know very well what!!"   
I was starting to think this might be fun.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: I think I had too much fun writing this. How can you not have fun with Tokaki and Subaru? Imagine how they must have gotten along (him being the lech he is) before they decided to get married! I wouldn't be surprised if Subaru really DID hit him once in awhile.   
Hmm… I wasn't going to make this story into a multi-parter (I've got at least two of those in progress right now), but it seems I can if I want to. What do you guys think? Should I keep going? Remember (this IS Tokaki here) that the rating is likely to go up if I do. Arigato!   



	2. Chapter 2: Meet the Parents

It WAS a Normal Day in the Market - part 2   
DISCLAIMER: Same as part 1. Only Watase Yu characters here are Lanva-kun and Doulin-chan. Much thanks to Fire of Suzaku's Wings (http://www.onewingedangel.com/suzaku) for info on characters, locations, meanings, general information... Gods, I'm tired...   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well, you asked for it, you got it! The second part to the now can't-tell-how-long-it's-gonna-be Market.   
You are being warned: this part was written very late at night after the authoress consummed four Halloween trick-or-treat-sized boxes of Nerds, and topped it off with a few marshmellows. Sugar..... whee! you have been warned.   
You all should've seen me when I first saw reviews for my story, I literally started jumping up and down in web design class. My classmates already know I'm "different" though, so they didn't care. *_~ However, when I did the same thing in the library later that day, I think the librarian thought I was having a psychotic episode. It's greaaaaaat to see reviews. Bask bask bask...   
OK, get serious Kaze-chan. Really, since I'm going to make this a multi-parter now, I have no idea how long it will be. I don't even have it all planned out yet, although I have a lot of ideas. I'm putting a lot of thought into what the other Byakko seishi are going to be like. This is proving to be an interesting experiment.   
This chapter isn't as "fun" as the one before it. I wanted to show the relationship Subaru has with her family as she goes to become a seishi, and it's not a very good one. Also the writing quality for the first part isn't good. At that point I was in one of my "moods" where nothing seems to come out right, and it didn't start working until the second part. I like the last three-quarters of this chapter a lot more than the beginning.   
Make note that as this continues the rating will most DEFINITELY go up. I can't have character growth (or Tokaki) in this story without it getting a bit more intense. So watch for that in the future.   
Anyone know what a bed is? I don't think I've seen one for the last week. X_x - Zzzzzzzzzz.....   
As always, r and r, and please tell me what you like about the story, and what you don't like. That way I'll know what to avoid next time! Arigato!   
Extra Note: Those notes were written FIVE DAYS AGO, before ff.n crashed. I was literally ready to post and then I found out the thing had JUST gone down. Arg! Frustration! But it's heeeeeeeere! Arigato Kame!   
  


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"Dou-san! Kaa-san! I'm home!" I slammed the old, warped door shut to keep it closed and placed the basket next to my feet. "Where is everyone?" Tokaki was too busy looking around my home to answer my question, but I didn't really expect many sensible things out of him at that point. I'd had to hit him twice more on the way home when I'd caught him looking at a couple of shop girls. He had a really hard head. _Really_ hard. "Masame?"   
"Nee-chan!" My nine-year-old little sister barreled around the corner, slamming into me as she always did, grinning up at me while holding onto my waist. "What did you bring me this time?"   
I grinned back at her. "What makes you think I brought a runt like you anything?"   
She pouted. "No fair! I know you did!"   
I sighed heavily, pretending to give in. "All right, all right, look in the basket."   
"WAI!" She unwrapped herself from around me and crouched by the basket, digging happily and haphazardly through it, tossing aside nonbreakables, placing others on the ground, until she got to the small bag of hard, sugary candy I'd gotten at her favorite sweet stand. "Arigato nee-chan!" She opened the bag immediately and popped three pieces in her mouth at once. Only then did she seem to notice Tokaki standing dazedly to one side, watching her with slightly unfocused eyes. "Who's he, nee-chan?"   
I winced slightly. I knew the next day or so in this house wouldn't be pleasant. "Anou, he's a friend of mine. We need to talk to Dou-san and Kaa-san, where are they?"   
"Out." In went another piece of candy. "Kaa-san said that you should start dinner when you got back though, they wouldn't be gone long."   
I mentally sighed in relief. I'd have that much more time to figure out what to tell them. "Help me put this stuff in the kitchen, then we can start cooking, ne?"   
She grinned happily and stuffed the candy bag in her pocket, reaching down to gather fruit in her arms. "Hai! Meet you there!" She raced off into the kitchen.   
I glanced at Tokaki, who still had the dazed expression on his face, watching the doorway Masame had disappeared through. "Ne, wake up." I snapped my fingers in his face. "I need you conscious for what's next, you know."   
He blinked, then grinned cockily. "And here I thought you weren't interested in that."   
"One wrong move and you're sleeping in the middle of the street," I glared.   
"Not in your room? How cruel!" Whack. "ITAIII!"   
I huffed and picked up the rest of my shopping, following in Masame's wake to the kitchen, leaving Tokaki rubbing his face. Masame had placed the fruit on the table and was trying to cut it with a dull knife, her tongue sticking slightly out of the side of her mouth in concentration. I smiled and started building the fire up under the stove, setting out pots to be filled with water, and putting away the rest of the food I had bought. Tokaki stumbled in while I was checking on the fire and seated himself next to Masame without looking at me, instead watching interestedly over her shoulder. I kept half an eye on him as I began slicing meat, tossing it in a shallow pan with some cut-up vegetables and noodles for stir-fry.   
"Your name's Masame, ne?"   
"Hai. Who're you? Nee-chan didn't say your name before." She concentrated on cutting the fruit into imprecise star shapes, not looking up from her knife.   
"My name's Hahm Lanva." I was silently thankful that he had used his real name. Masame would probably recognize a seishi name from the legend. "How old are you?"   
"I turned nine last month!" she said proudly. She dropped her knife on the table and reached for the chain around her neck, pulling up a small charm that had been hidden beneath her dress. "Look what nee-chan gave me for my birthday!"   
I smiled as I watched the food. That had been one of my more successful shopping trips. The necklace, with its thin silver chain and soft gold charm of our god Byakko surrounded by the winds, hadn't been exactly what I was looking for in a present, but when I saw it I knew it was meant for her. She wore it every day now, and I smiled every time I saw it.   
Tokaki made appropriate appreciation noises. "It's very pretty. Goes well with your hair." He tapped her on the nose and grinned, and she giggled. "Gold always goes well with blonde."   
"Where are you from, Hahm-san?" She picked up the knife again and returned to slicing fruit, concentrating hard to not hit her fingers.   
"Pretty far away. The capital, actually."   
Huh?   
Wait a minute.   
Something hit me as he said that. How did he know which town I lived in, if the only clues were "time" and "market"? I knew there was no way he'd stand travelling around, waiting in every market he came to for something strange to happen. How had he known?   
"What are you doing here?"   
"Anou..." he turned to look at me, hawkish eyes looking directly into my own with a strength I felt could cut straight through me. "I had some business."   
The front door slammed, making me jump. "Dou-san! Kaa-san!" Masame cried, dropping her knife with a clatter and streaking out of the kitchen to barrel into them like she had done to me. I took the chance and grabbed Tokaki's arm, whispering quickly to him. "Let me do the talking, just go with what I say." He nodded and I took a deep breath, fixed a smile on my face, and went into the foyer.   
Dou-san was hugging Masame tightly. "How's my little girl? Did she like watching the house while we were gone?"   
"I'm not little! And hai!" Masame's voice responded.   
Kaa-san smiled warmly at me. "Hello dear." She blinked, furrowing her brow as she looked beyond me. I turned slightly and saw Tokaki emerging from the doorway behind me. "Who are you?"   
"Oh, Kaa-san, this is Hahm Lanva, one of my friend's brothers." I quickly ran through a short list of reasonable excuses why he would be there, and reluctantly picked one that offered the biggest lie. "He chased away this guy who was hitting on me in the market today, and walked back with me here."   
The expression on my mother's face softened again into her pleasant smile, and she bowed to Tokaki. "You did Doulin-chan a service, please stay and have dinner with us."   
I could almost hear his stomach growl in response. "Hai, that would be fine," he replied, a bit too enthusiastically.   
This was going to be one tricky evening.   
  


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"Ahh, perfect again, Doulin-chan." My father pushed himself back from the table, looking satisfied. "You must have inherited your mother's skill, Byakko knows I'm not good at this."   
"Arigato, Dou-san." I glanced over at Kaa-san, who was talking pleasantly with Tokaki. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I was thinking, if the two of them were getting along so well. But I was getting nervous. I didn't know how long Tokaki could go without accidentally dropping a hint, and the amount of sake he'd consumed didn't help my thinking either. I was getting jumpy, what if one of them noticed something different about me? I might slip up myself… I had to tell them, before I lost my nerve. I steeled myself, folded my hands together in my lap, and looked at them, refusing to meet his gaze. "Etou.... Dou-san.... I need to talk with you and Kaa-san."   
"What is it?" He looked mildly surprised, apparently I was better at acting normal then I'd thought.   
"It's kind of important..."   
I felt Tokaki look at me, felt him comprehend what was going on. Abruptly he stood up, brushing a stray crumb or two off his shirt. "Masame, want to go climb the tree outside?" He winked at her. "Bet I could get to the top before you."   
"No way you won't!" She grinned and also stood up, racing out the door.   
Tokaki shook his head in admiration. "Where does she get all the energy?" He grinned and ran after her.   
Kaa-san was slightly taken aback at their sudden departure. "Kaa-san..." I said softly. She blinked at me, a questioning expression on her face. "We have to talk... you and I and Dou-san..."   
"About what, dear?" My mother moved to sit close to me, putting a comforting arm around my shoulder and stroking my long white hair, as she had when I'd awoken with nightmares when I was little and when my brother was killed. "What's wrong? You haven't exactly been yourself tonight." I smiled slightly at my hands. Kaa-san always seemed to have a sixth sense with her children, knowing when we were fibbing or hiding things. "Doulin-chan?"   
I took a deep, shuddering breath. "Anou... In the market today... things didn't exactly happen that smoothly..." I skipped over the parts about Tokaki hitting on me, and went straight to the point. "I'd finished my shopping, and I was talking to T- Lanva-san, when this shriek came. A man had just robbed one of the jewelers, and he was getting away. Lanva-san went after him, and a few moments later there was another yell." I tightened my hands' grip on themselves. Thinking of Hiroya lying in the street... it still scared me. "It was Hiroya-san, the cloth merchant. He'd tried to stop the thief, and he'd been stabbed in the stomach."   
I heard the sharp intake of breath from both my parents, but still didn't look up. "Nani? Is he all right, Doulin-chan?"   
"Anou... that's kind of why I need to talk to you about this." I took another breath, and my voice went flat as I carefully reconstructed everything that had happened after my first sight of Hiroya: almost no one helping him, seeing my brother instead, Tokaki/Lanva's arrival with the thief, nearly shaking the man to death, being restrained by Tokaki/Lanva, and then... I stopped there. It was so hard to go on. My eyes were filling with tears, well aware this would probably destroy my family's views of me forever.   
I heard cloth rustle next to me and a firm hand was on my shoulder. "Just tell them, Doulin-san," Tokaki said softly yet firmly.   
I shook my head. I couldn't say it. "Tell us what?" my father asked warily.   
Tokaki sighed. "What your daughter is trying to tell you, is she..." he searched for the right words. "She has to come with me tomorrow."   
"NANI?!" My father jumped to his feet in surprise. "Go with YOU?! Some stranger we've never met before?!"   
I finally looked up. My father was raging at Tokaki. My mother was simply staring at me in shock, white as a ghost. "Kaa-san..." I whispered. She shook her head slightly, disbelieving. I reached out to her imploringly, wanting her at least to support me. She leaned back away from me, her eyes glazing with tears, still shaking her head.   
Tokaki and my father were both on their feet, staring each other down. Dou-san was furious, breathing heavily, hands clenched in fists, but Tokaki was only giving him a direct, piercing stare, remaining calm. "I'm sorry, Tamure-san, I really am, but you have no choice. She has to come with me. She knows and agrees."   
"_I will not give up one of my daughters_! She is going to be married soon, and I will NOT lose her!" I reddened slightly at the thought of the match my father had picked for me, but Tokaki never looked in my direction. "She will _STAY HERE_!"   
"_She has to!_"   
"Why?" Kaa-san's muted whisper stopped them both in their verbal tracks. She was still staring at me, the tears spilling silently unchecked down her cheeks. "We already lost Bokkai. Why do you have to go?"   
"Kaa-san..." I stumbled over my words, feeling my own tears gather in my eyes. "Gomen nasai. I have to fight."   
"Why?"   
"I'm... I'm..."   
Again I felt Tokaki's hand on my shoulder, and felt immensely grateful to him for lending me his strength. The room grew slightly brighter with the pale white light that emitted from Tokaki's symbol. "She's Subaru."   
"_SUBARU_?!" Dou-san yelled. My parents knew the legend as well. "_USO_!"   
"He's not... Dou-san, he's not." I closed my eyes and concentrated, not sure how to make my symbol glow as Tokaki did so effortlessly. I focused my will on that point on my left chest, and to my relief felt the mark begin to heat comfortably and glow. I concentrated harder, causing the character to shine through my clothing again. I opened my eyes. "Gomen nasai... but I am... I have no choice. And..." How can you tell your family you _want_ to leave them to fight, to protect this girl from an entirely different world, even die if you have to? It wasn't just that I had to, but I _wanted_ to. I had finally figured out my destiny. And I wanted to meet it.   
A small thump outside the doorway drew my attention, the mark still shining. Masame was standing in the door, having plainly just fallen out of the tree, as her hair was messy and her clothing dusty and muddy. But her face drew my attention. She wasn't shocked, like Kaa-san. She wasn't furious, like Dou-san. She was... envious? "Are you really Subaru, nee-chan?"   
I nodded silently, unsure how to take her now.   
She glared at me. "Why do _you_ get to have all the fun?!" She turned and fled into the house, her footsteps fading gradually. A few moment later came the slamming of a door.   
The four of us watched after her for a moment, then my father split the silence. "If _she's_-" he pointed an almost-accusatory finger at me "-Subaru, then who are _you_?" His glare and finger shifted to Tokaki and his still-shining symbol.   
"I am Tokaki." He bowed politely. "Gomen nasai. I would have preferred you knowing the truth from the beginning, but I think I was right to listen to Subaru." I flinched slightly at the use of my new name. My father's accusations and my mother disbelief had turned it almost into a curse. "She wanted you to meet me, the person, before you met me, the seishi. To show you that we're real people." He turned to look at Kaa-san, a soft, sympathetic look on his face. "I understand how you feel. But we can't help it. It's what we were born for. We have to do this. She has to do this."   
My parents were both staring at Tokaki now, still retreating into their emotions. I suddenly couldn't take it anymore. The light from my symbol abruptly vanished as I scrambled to my feet, tear-blinded, and ran out of the room. I ignored my father's furious shouts to get back there, Tokaki's concerned voice calling my name - my old one. I fled sobbing down the hall to my room and slammed the door when I got there, throwing myself on the bed and crying into my sheets. I blindly reached out, groping for the small table next to my bed, and felt my hand close around something. I pulled it to me, clutching it. My fingers stroked the smooth leather of what had been Bokkai's favorite belt, the one he'd refused to take with him when he left for fear of ripping it or losing it. In the end we had the belt, but not him. I had taken it from his room and put it on my table. Neither of my parents had said a word about it. It gave me something to hold, something of his, a part of something I'd lost and wouldn't find again. I held it tightly now, wishing I could trade it for my brother, the one I knew would tell me the right thing to do. "Aniki... aniki.... Help me...... onegai, help me......"   
It wasn't long before I cried myself to sleep.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The next morning fit my mood: gray and cloudy. I rubbed my red eyes when I woke to the tapping on my door. Tokaki's voice drifted through the wall. "Subaru? You better wake up. We have to leave soon."   
I wasn't wild about getting up. The bed seemed the safest place I could think of by far. I didn't want to face my family, face their different, yet no less painful looks as they watched me leave, perhaps for the last time. I knew that I might die. I knew this might be the last time I saw my family. I didn't want to leave on such bad terms.   
But the only way to fix things was to get up. I groaned and sat up, pushing my long hair out of my face. I was still wearing the clothes I had worn the day before, but they were now rumpled and wrinkled from a restless sleep. I dragged myself to my feet and padded over to the dresser, feeling the familiar grain of the wood floor under my feet, a strangely comforting sensation.   
"Subaru?"   
"Tokaki, will you at least give me a minute to get _dressed_?" My shrinking violet mood in no way included him.   
"Want help?"   
"Want a smacking?" I pulled open a drawer in my dresser and quickly extracted my favorite dress: a pale yellow one, fairly simple, but sewn to fit me perfectly and emphasize my looks. I traded dresses quickly and took the ribbons out of my hair, running my brush through it before tying it back up in its usual loops with pale blue ribbons. I stepped into my slippers and finally opened the door, just to see Tokaki leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, staring at the floor with an expression resembling a scowl on his face.   
I looked at him confusedly. "Tokaki? Daijobu?"   
"Hai." His eyes narrowed at the floor. "Except for the fact I'm not used to being treated like a damn side-show freak, a kidnapper, and a ghost come back to life all in one."   
I winced and looked at the floor. "Gomen nasai, I knew they wouldn't take this kindly."   
"_Iya_." The force in his voice startled me into looking up. He was giving me one of his direct stares, the one that could bore holes through a person. "It's _not your fault_. Their attitudes are perfectly understandable. I may not like the treatment, but that's not their fault either. And _you are not responsible for the actions of your family_." He grinned and chucked me under the chin. "We've got to get your self-esteem boosted, and quick, Subaru-sama. No use having a 'fraidy-cat on the team."   
I had to smile. "All right, I'll work on it." A thought crossed my mind. "Can I bring a few things to the palace?"   
He shrugged. "Sure, why not? I can take it, as long as it's not a whole lot."   
I shook my head. "It won't be. Can you find my basket for me? The one I had yesterday?" It was nice and big and would hold my possessions comfortably.   
"Sure." He took off at an easy jog down the hall. I stepped back into my room and began gathering the few things I wanted to take with me to the palace: a couple of dresses, including the one fancy outfit I owned, a couple of blouses, skirts, some jewelry and makeup, my hairbrush. I was trying to decide which necklaces to take when Tokaki returned and dropped the basket next to me. "There you are. Almost ready?"   
I nodded, unpacking the results of yesterday's shopping. "Is anyone else up?" I still wasn't quite sure what to do.   
He shook his head. "Iya. I thought you might want to leave..." he trailed off.   
I paused, holding the plank of cloth in my hands, staring at it. What did I want to do? I wanted to both leave and stay. I knew I'd leave eventually, but I wanted to fix things with them, yet at the same time I didn't want to linger... "Do you want breakfast?"   
His reply was delayed a moment, as if he was figuring out my motivations. "Hai."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
We were almost done eating when Masame stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. I was heartily relieved to see she wasn't acting any different than she normally did, as she silently grabbed a plate and put some food on it, sitting next to me to eat. Tokaki shot me a questioning look, which I replied to with a small smile: Masame, at least, was all right with it. He nodded, then froze as my father came in.   
Dou-san was still angry. His face was set in the same hard lines, he was still scowling. He refused to even look at Tokaki or I as he also took some food, sitting in his usual spot. Tokaki didn't have to ask me if he was fine, it was very apparent he wasn't.   
Masame didn't seem affected by the heavy tension in the air, not speaking and looking sullen as she did every morning, but Tokaki and I were silent. We had talked quietly before my family had appeared, but even that small noise was cancelled by the crackling nerves emanating from my father. He poured himself a cup of tea and drank it in one gulp, then got another. I noticed he put in more than the usual amount of stimulant it usually took to wake him up in the morning. I'd never seen him this angry before.   
But the worst part was when my mother entered. She took one look at me and her eyes began tearing again. She quickly turned away as I started to get up, pressing a hand to her face. My heart was breaking as I looked at her. My mother was treating me as if I really were going to die, even with the other six seishi we'd eventually have. I couldn't take it. I silently washed Tokaki's and my plates before going back to my room to finish packing.   
My clothes, my jewelry, my book of recipes... it didn't weigh all that much. I slipped in the cloth-covered plank and my small sewing kit, planning on working on my new clothes in my free time. If I had any. My favorite book, a small picture that had always hung on the wall of my room... and then Bokkai's belt. I held it to my face for a minute, letting the scent of the leather drift into my nose, trying to imagine what Bokkai would do if he were still with us. I thought he would be shocked at first, but then proud to have a seishi as a sister. He'd always been fascinated by the legend, by the miko and the seishi and they powers they had. He would have supported me, maybe even come with me. If only I could have him, instead of his belt...   
"Nee-chan?" I spun at the soft voice, staring at Masame. She looked more awake now; her hair was brushed and her eyes were open. "Are you leaving?"   
I swallowed my tears and nodded. "Hai, soon."   
She took a hesitant step forward. "Are you going to the capital with Ha- Tokaki-san?" I nodded again, turning back to the basket to finish packing. Suddenly I was hit in the middle of the back by a runaway kid, her skinny but strong arms wrapping around my waist. "I'm gonna miss you!"   
I turned and knelt, hugging her hard, my tears spilling over for what seemed the hundredth time in the past day. "I'll miss you too, Masa-chan, you don't know how much."   
"Yes I do!" She sniffed against my sleeve. "'Cause I'm gonna miss _you_ that much!"   
"Masa-chan..." I hugged her tighter. "You have to take care of Dou-san and Kaa-san now. Will you promise to do that? For me?"   
"I promise!" She pulled back and gave me a teary smile. "And I'm gonna brag about you too! I'm gonna tell all my friends that _my_ nee-chan is _Subaru_. They won't believe me, but I know it's true!"   
I smiled back at her. "Arigato, Masa-chan..." We stayed like that for a moment, then she helped me pack.   
We were almost done when Tokaki strode through the door. "We've been fed, watered, and you have your stuff. Let's go." He looked like he couldn't take exposure to my parents much longer. I nodded and threw the last few things in the basket, and he ran outside, Masame and I following.   
"Why're you going out, Tokaki-san?" Masame called to him.   
"It works better out there!"   
"_What_ works better out there?"   
He turned and grinned. "You'll see."   
He stood on the small porch as we emerged through the door. "Now, watch this, kid." In the blink of an eye he vanished and reappeared on the other side of the yard.   
"SUGOI! Do that again!" He complied, popping in and out of all sorts of places, making Masame laugh with delight and me smile. He was like a kid himself at times.   
"Subaru." I spun. My new name was spoken with such hate, such malice, that I almost didn't recognize my father's voice. He glared at me, dagger glares that pierced me to my heart. "If you leave, don't bother to come back."   
"Dou-san, I-"   
"Iie. I am not 'Dou-san' to you. My daughter Doulin has been taken from me." He turned and walked back inside, disappearing into the early morning shadows.   
Tokaki appeared beside me, and I fell onto him, clutching his shirt and weeping. He mutely hugged me around my shoulders. Masame took my hand and squeezed it, leaning her head against my arm. I was more grateful to them than I could ever express.   
We stood there for a few moments, none of us really moving, the only sounds the twitter of birds and my quiet sobs. I got myself under control again and extracted myself from Tokaki, though I kept hold of Masame's hand.   
"Doulin-chan..." Kaa-san's voice came to my ears, hesitant and soft, but still her voice. I turned and saw her leaning against the doorway, a look of infinite sadness on her face.   
"Kaa-san..."   
She shook her head. "Iya. Just... just be careful. Don't get hurt."   
Tokaki bowed beside me, a respectful bow. "Tamure-san, you have my word I'll protect Doulin-san. I won't let anything happen to her, I promise."   
Kaa-san gave him a quivering smile, a small one, but a smile nonetheless. "Somehow... somehow I think you will, shichiseishi Tokaki."   
He nodded. "I will."   
"Kaa-san..." I rushed forward and hugged her tightly. She hugged me back just as hard, not bothering to hide her tears. "You just come back now, all right?"   
"All right... I will." I tried to speak strongly, firmly, as if I knew for sure that I'd be fine. As I did I felt something suddenly lock in my mind, and then I wasn't forcing myself. I wasn't crying either, and I felt warm. The white fire was running through me again, although much muted from the first time. I glanced down, and there indeed was, again, my symbol, shining with a steady light that wasn't as bright, but somehow seemed stronger. Firmer. More solid.   
I saw Tokaki nod to himself out of the corner of my eye. "Finally. It took you long enough."   
"Took me long enough for what?"   
"To accept your seishi powers and your destiny. Everything should be much easier for you from now on. C'mon, we've gotta go." I nodded silently, kissed my mother and sister on the cheek, and went to stand by Tokaki in the middle of the yard. He placed a hand on my shoulder as I gripped the handle of my basket. He raised his other hand in a farewell to my family. "If we have the time we'll be back in a few weeks!" I nodded and waved to them. Masame called out a happy farewell and my mother waved quietly.   
Then they were gone.   
I looked around. "Tokaki."   
"Hai?" He walked across the floor of the room we were now in.   
"Where's the palace?"   
He flashed a grin back at me. "What makes you think this isn't it?"   
"Oh, I don't know," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Maybe it's the bad condition of the wood, the size of the room, the type of furniture. Or maybe it's the sound of drunks." The room was small and barely furnished, a bed in one corner, a table and a couple of chairs in the center of the floor, a small dresser against the opposite wall. The wood was aged and dark, and coming from some place below us were the sounds of men and women who'd began drinking the night before and hadn't stopped yet. "Where are we and what are we doing here?"   
"Touchy, aren't you? You think I'd leave my clothing here?" He opened a drawer and pulled out a set of clothing much like the set he was wearing at the moment. "This is where I was staying." He grinned again. "I managed to dodge my bill though."   
I rolled my eyes while he stuffed his clothes in my basket and checked to make sure he hadn't left anything else. "Can we please get going already?"   
"Patience, patience." He placed his hand on my shoulder again, and the room disappeared, to be replaced by a small alleyway. "Before you ask, we're right outside the tavern I stayed at. For long-distance jumps it's better to start outside. Now don't distract me, this takes more concentration than usual." He closed his eyes and I could hear him talking quietly under his breath. The scene around us seemed to melt this time, not vanish, as our surroundings of brick and boards were gradually replaced by one of golden wood and costly stone. The new picture swam before my eyes, morphing into different shapes so quickly I could only guess at the real picture, and finally locked into place.   
I blinked and looked around. The room wasn't even a room, but rather a courtyard outside a building all of white and silver. The curved-tile roof was painted white, the trim was silver, and the walls seemed to be a muted gray of some stone. Fresh new posts of wood helped support the roof and formed decorative rails on the veranda we were standing on. It was the most elegant place I'd ever seen.   
"We're here." Tokaki's voice cut through my musings. "The shrine of Byakko in the palace of the Emperor himself."   
I simply nodded, unable to speak. We had finally arrived.   
I would finally meet my destiny.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Well, how was it? Huh? Huh huh? Huh huh huh huh? Please tell me! I need comments to bask in, it's getting cold down here!   
Ahh, the poor Tamures. They already lost their only son, and now one of their daughters is going off to do something even more dangerous. Is it any wonder they're having a hard time accepting it? I feel really sorry for them.   
Oh yeah, there's actually a third daughter as well, but she's the oldest, already married with a home and child of her own, so I don't think she comes into the story. Although if I'm in a weird mood...   
I'm sort of glad this part's over, now we get to the seishi and the miko! Suzuno and Tatara! And all the others! I can't wait to play with them. Oh yeah, disclaimer's gonna be longer next time as well...   
Zzzzzzzzzzz...... sleep...... what a foreign concept. Perhaps I should go investigate it........   
Extra Note II: Note that THOSE ntoes were also written FIVE DAYS AGO, and at four AM in the morning. I have no life... 


	3. Chapter 3: Men in Armor and Stuff with M...

  
DISCLAIMER: Sigh..... me still no own. Wait, maybe me own some parts... nah, keep it easy, me own nothing!   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I suffered writer's block. BIG TIME. I couldn't think of what I wanted to happen in the chapter for so long. Or rather, I could think of it but I couldn't write it. Has that happened to anyone else?   
Well, writer's block or not, this chapter took a damn long time to finish, as you can probably tell ~_~ I don't think it helped that I decided to work on three other things at the same time, but that's a different story.   
OK, OK, what else? ~scans mental notes~ Oh yeah. Explanation chapter. Meaning not much actually happens, but it has explanations that are somewhat vital to the plot. They pop up every once in awhile in my writing ~_~ I can't seem to get rid of 'em, and they serve a prupose, so I let them live.   
The writing quality on this one isn't up to par. I had to write this on the run a lot, between snatches of homework and the like. So sorry about that -_-()   
Warnings: The rate-o-meter is slowly creeping up to PG-13. Not many bad words in here, but the content is getting more... prolific, I guess.   
Spoilers: Umm.... don't think any, other than the fact that some people might not know anything about the Byakko...   
And thank Mouse-chan! She does so much to help me!   
Random Fact of the Day: Wheelchairs do not go very fast, and certainly not in Krogers.   
  


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"SUZUNO! Suzuno! Damn, where is that girl when you need her?" I was left gawking at the shrine as Tokaki began running down the veranda to the left, apparently knowing exactly where he was going and also apparently not realizing that I didn't.   
I blinked myself away from the largest collection of silver I'd seen in one place in my life and watched after him, a clearly unamused expression on my face. He got about twenty feet before coming to a sudden stop, as if I had him on a leash. He turned slowly and grinned sheepishly. "Umm… let's go?"   
I squashed an urge to grin at him and instead walked forward, stopping about a foot behind him and looking up expectantly. "Where are we going?"   
He held up his right hand and ticked things off on his fingers. "Well, first we've got to find Suzuno, 'cause you two have to meet. You'll like her a lot. Let's see, Tatara should be wherever she is. Then we have to go to the Emperor. He'll give you a room, and I have to give him the scroll. Then the four of us go off to find the other seishi." He lowered his hand and gave me a smug look. "Just because you're in a palace now doesn't mean it'll be the easy life. And soon I'm taking you to the practice courts."   
My jaw dropped, and my basket almost did, too. "NANI?!"   
"You heard me." He leaned against a column, smirking. "You're a Byakko no shichiseishi, girl. You've gotta have some way to defend yourself. You're pretty strong-" he rubbed the side of his head "-but if you get in a fight you won't be able to defend yourself. So I'm gonna teach you." He grinned widely at my wordlessness and stood up straight, absently adjusting the lie of his shirt to sit comfortably on his shoulders. "You can't rely on your powers all the time. And if you think you can, you'll find out soon enough what happens. Let's get going." He strode down the walkway again, leaving me gaping after him and scrambling to catch up.   
He followed the veranda for a few minutes, then turned down a hallway that looked no different from the others we'd passed, painted a pale creamy color and decorated with molding carved of dark, fine wood, doors interspersed at uneven intervals in the walls. The palace was absolutely beautiful, though I knew I was seeing only the slightest bit of it. The real splendor of the palace would be the Emperor's throne room and audience chamber.   
Tokaki stopped suddenly at the next intersection. I slammed into him from behind, the half-running keeping me too off-guard to use my senses fully. He stumbled forward a step or two as I fell back, trying desperately to keep on my feet, hearing smothered laughter in the background. I braced myself against the wall with my free hand and looked up to see a small group of soldiers, the people Tokaki had stopped for to avoid running into, watching the scene with amused expressions. I felt myself flush a deep scarlet and quickly lowered my head again, pushing myself up to stand firmly on my own two feet. My first five minutes in the palace and already I'd acted stupid…   
"So, Tokaki, you brought back a girl, eh?" one of the men said, obviously only teasing, but I blushed even more. "Certainly… pretty enough, but you don't usually go for the shy type."   
"Better watch what you say about her, she's a Byakko no shichiseishi." Tokaki's reply was almost lazy, filled with an idle humor. He was enjoying this.   
Most of the men gasped. "A seishi?! Hontou ni?! Which one is she?" I glanced up, finally feeling the blush receding. The soldiers were closer than they had been, unconsciously forming a ring around me to stare at me all the better. I pushed down a fresh blush that threatened to rise. Was another seishi really that much of a novelty for them? "Where's her mark?"   
"Ah-ah-ah, come now, you're scaring the poor girl out of her mind." Tokaki's voice still contained that humor. I mentally vowed to hurt him severely later. "Now let us through, we have to find Suzuno."   
"Oh, the miko?" replied the one who'd spoken first. He had more decoration on his armor than the others. I assumed he was their leader. But the look he was still giving me made me want to punch him - hard. "Last I saw, she was with Heika-sama in the throne room."   
"Great! Two birds with one stone. Come on, Subaru, let's go find them." Tokaki grabbed my wrist and tugged me unprotesting though the crowd of soldiers, taking the left turn around the soldiers, beginning to run again and still dragging me with him. I was very, very grateful for his tactlessness at that point: the sooner we were away from the soldiers the sooner I could yell at him.   
He paused at the next crossways we came to, apparently trying to remember which way the throne room was - left, right-ish left, straight, or right, the five hallways coming together to form a sort of atrium. "Now if I was a throne, where would I live?" I took the opportunity to pull something out of my basket with the hand I yanked from his grasp. "Oh yeah, this way! Come on, Suba-"   
CRACK.   
My weapon was still intact. Tokaki bounced off the wall to my right and fell on the floor, slightly stunned from the hit I'd given him with my plank. I was coming to love that thing very, very much. He glared up at me, slightly cross-eyed. "You brought that _thing_ with you?"   
I smiled sweetly, not lowering the wood for a second. "How else am I going to keep you in line?"   
"Why would I _want_ you to?" He groaned and rolled to his knees, then slowly stood up, extending his arms to keep his balance. "Maybe _that_ should be your weapon, you seem lethal enough with it already."   
I stuck the plank back in the basket; he couldn't go anywhere for a minute with the hit I'd given him. "While I have you subdued, we are having a talk."   
"Why am I suddenly not liking the sound of this?"   
"Look." I grabbed his chin and turned it rather violently to face me, my patience gone. The day had started bad and gotten worse, first with my family, then the soldiers, then Tokaki's superior attitude. I was fed up, and he would know it. "I am NOT here for your personal amusement. I have basically earned the eternal damnation of my father, broken my mother's heart, and abandoned my sister, all so I could come here - with you, someone my female relatives at least seemed to trust - and fulfill this centuries-old destiny that everyone's been talking about for a good five years or so. And if that's not enough, we run into those soldier friends of yours, and they start looking at me like they're going to decide who gets me one night and who gets me the next. And then _you_ have to go and laugh about it. So I'm not very pleased with you at the moment. Understand?"   
Tokaki's eyes were wide. Very wide. About the size of saucers. "Uhhh…" He also seemed incapable of an intelligent response. Maybe I'd hit him harder than I thought. "Uhh… uhh… h-hai, whatever you say."   
"Good." I let go of him, again rather violently, and began walking down the hallway he'd indicated earlier. I counted under my breath - one, two, three, four, five, six, seven - before I heard his feet begin to work again, running after me with heavy footfalls.   
"Subaru, I'm sorry, look at me will you?" I refused to, kept going. "If you won't look at me will you at _least_ tell me what the hell you want me to do?!"   
That did it. I stopped suddenly, my temper about to burst, and turned to face him. He was giving me a half-defiant, half-cocky look that nearly made me want to kill him. "What I want you to do?" I'd never heard my voice that controlled before. It sounded dangerous, that controlled, every word an effort and only getting out the necessary ones. "I thought it would be obvious."   
"Well it's NOT."   
I looked at him for a second more, then threw my head back and began… began to laugh. Loud, nearly hysterical laughter spilled out of me, filling up the hall and more, the atrium we had just left and the rooms to the sides. Tokaki clearly did not know what to make of this sudden mood swing, and watched me with growing confusion evident on his features. "What's… what's so funny?"   
"Byakko, you have to be the most IDIOTIC and INSANE person I know! How could it not be obvious?!"   
"Umm… I don't know?"   
"Ever since we got here you've been treating me like _chattel_! Or like some tavern girl who's just looking for a bed partner! I'm sick of it! I'm a _seishi_! And if I have to hit you to make you remember that, then I WILL! And you will NEVER treat me like that again!" I wheeled and stalked away from him. This time he didn't follow, at least not that I heard.   
I continued on by myself for awhile, noting a couple of things: one, that the palace was enormous, and two, that the guards and gaudy decoration seemed to multiply as I kept along the corridor. I thought I must be getting closer to the throne room, and the emperor with it, but since I didn't want to be lost forever in the maze of corridor I decided to ask one of the guards, just to be sure. I kept my eyes open until I found one that looked more decent than the others, hoped I wouldn't receive any lewd looks, and quietly stepped up to him. "Excuse me, sir, can you tell me where the throne room is?"   
He gave me a cursory once-over, apparently sizing me up, as if wondering why this respectably dressed young woman would be walking around the palace, with its mountain of royal guards, without an escort and obviously without ever having been there before. "I can, but I don't think you'd get in to see anyone. Heika-sama is meeting with the miko and seishi now and asked not to be disturbed."   
"Oh, it'll be all right, can you just tell me how to get there?" I tried to give him a winning, innocent smile, doing my damndest to not be a hypocrite and "seduce" him into telling me after I'd just told off Tokaki.   
It seemed to work, because he smiled paternally at me and pointed down the corridor I'd just passed. "Down there, pass two halls, turn right, and it's the second door. Good luck, and if they throw you out, come back here, I can show you outside."   
"Arigato!" I took off at a light run down the hallway, waving back at him briefly, my basket banging against my leg.   
Two halls, one turn, and one door later I stopped outside the gaudiest door I'd yet seen in the palace, certain this was where the emperor was. I cast a glance at my clothing, tweaked it to lie as it should, and pulled my sleeves down my arms again. I took a deep breath as I surveyed the door, gathering my courage to step in. The elegant, dark mahogany that had appeared everywhere else as molding now provided the frame itself, still beautifully carved, but now trimmed in silver and gold. The carvings were miniature works of art; one, right by my eyes, was a tiger, every hair defined, stalking through a patch of trees. Similar scenes surrounded the rest of the door, which was painted bright white with a silver-and-gold inlay of Byakko, and even the dark handles had been carved. It was very beautiful, but perhaps a bit too much all at once. However, inside waited my destiny. I steeled my nerves, grasped one of the handles, and pulled with all my strength on the heavy door.   
Two spears greeted me on the other side. "Halt. You are not authorized to enter this room. Why are you here?" a metallic-sounding voice coming from the body on the end of the spear questioned me. I could only stare at the guard blankly; he and his partner were so wrapped in armor it was impossible to see their faces. Were they supposed to be comfortable in those outfits? "I said tell us what you're doing here." The metallic voice was getting impatient, and he gestured quickly with his spear.   
I had no wish to end up skewered. "I'm here to see the emperor, it's very important."   
"The emperor is in a meeting right now, and anyway, you have to make an appointment. He's a busy man."   
"I know, but this is _important_."   
"Oh yeah?" The other spoke up, sounding as cocky as Tokaki, which did not bode well for him. Stiff and businesslike I could take for now, but not someone with an attitude. "Well I'm important too, why don't you come see me instead?"   
I gritted my teeth, my hand moving to slide the plank out of the basket. "I'm a _seishi_, you nitwit, now _let me through!_"   
"A seishi, eh? Heard that one a lot nowadays. Why don't you prove it? Show me your mark." The cocky one retracted his spear and leaned on it, I knew giving me a Tokaki-type look behind his armor. He knew that, since I was almost fully covered, me showing him would have required me to take off clothing - exactly what he wanted.   
I was fed up. Again. "No, but I'll _give_ you a mark."   
"Oh yeah? How?"   
Overconfidence is not a good thing when being faced with a pissed-off seishi. I quickly sized him up, then struck out with the plank, too fast for him to bring his spear up to guard against it. He reeled into the room, falling flat on his back, while I ducked a slash from his companion's spear and ran into the room, through the maze of white curtains that ranged behind the guards' post.   
"STOP!" The voice rang out through the room, somewhere close by. I stumbled out from behind the last curtain, not halting until I could see the guard who was chasing me. Then I glanced to my side and obeyed the command, nearly falling on my face.   
I was on the dais. The entrance the kind guard had directed me to was the back entrance, used by the emperor's advisors and heika-sama himself, not one of common birth such as me. Before the dais was a girl of no more than sixteen, a man perhaps Tokaki's age, and a few other scattered people. But right in front of me was the emperor.   
He definitely wasn't my idea of an emperor. Usually when I heard that word it brought to mind an older man who had clearly been very handsome in his younger days, now a distinguished elder-statesmen type. But this man could not have been more than his early thirties, and while he certainly wasn't ugly he wasn't the handsomest man in the room either. The man Tokaki's age, for example, had him beaten by a ways, as did a few others. But his face was set in the lines that implied royalty, and there could be no doubt as to who he was. And yet… there seemed to be a spark in his eyes, one of… mischief? I didn't ponder it for long. I quickly dropped to my knees, nearly falling on my basket, and bowed correctly to the ruler of my country. Behind me I heard the soldier stumble out of the curtains, breathing a bit hard. "Heika-sama, gomen nasai! We were trying to question her, and she forced her way through! I'll take her out now. Forgive us for this disturbance." He bent down and grabbed my arm, hauling me to my feet hard enough to make me cry out a little in pain, then began tugging me back towards the door I'd come in through. I fought him, there was no way I'd be thrown out now!   
"Matte." It was the same voice who'd yelled for us to stop. The tone, casual yet firm, the confidence, could only belong to the emperor, which it did. "Bring her here." The guard glanced at me uncertainly, then pulled me in the other direction, down the steps of the dais, and pushed me down to my knees again on the ground a few feet from the first step. I glared defiantly at him but didn't try to stand; no use risking bodily harm. I turned my defiant gaze to the emperor, daring him to turn me out after he'd heard my story. He looked back at me, not sternly as I expected, but interestedly, almost amusedly. "What bring you here, daughter?"   
"Important business." I glared at the guard once more, then pushed myself to my feet. "You need me, and you know it." The guard growled lowly, arm darting out once again to grab me, but I swatted it aside impatiently.   
"Calm down Nijo, let us hear her story. It might, if I may suggest, be a good idea to be straight-forward about all this." The emperor smiled slightly at me, nodding at me to begin speaking. Tokaki was right, he did seem to be a decent sort.   
Instead of speaking, I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath. The guards hadn't believed me when I'd said I was a seishi, so there was only one way to unquestionably prove I was.   
It wasn't hard at all now. I simply brought my mind to bear on that point inside me where the radiating white came together and nudged it somewhat, and my symbol began to glow, filling me with the white heat once again. I kept nudging it until it grew bright enough to shine through the heavier clothing I was wearing today, and kept at it still, bringing it to almost the proportions of a star, not wanting to leave them any doubt. There was a flurry of jingling and clattering next to me as the symbol appeared, and when I opened my eyes the guard, Nijo, was a good thirty feet away from me on the other side of the room. I couldn't see the others behind me, but in front of me the emperor was watching me blankly. There wasn't emotion on his face, but he seemed to be concentrating rather hard. Then abruptly he broke into a wide smile, making his face look very nice indeed, the face of a man you could trust and be friends with. "Welcome!" He jumped off his dais and ran to me, bowing hastily at the waist and grabbing my hand, holding it tightly in joy. "It's wonderful to have another seishi here at last! What is your name?"   
"Tamure Doulin. Subaru," I quickly added, still getting used to being known by another name.   
"Subaru! This is wonderful! Suzuno, we have another one!" I turned around, not very surprised to hear that name. The girl I had seen earlier was standing behind me, smiling widely, eyes sparkling with joy. "Subaru, this is Byakko no Miko, Ohsugi Suzuno." The emperor chuckled. "She's very happy to see you."   
I smiled at Suzuno. She looked like a nice girl, not counting the strange clothes, with long braided pigtails and an open face, more mature for her age than she should be. "It's nice to meet you, I've heard something about you already."   
"From Tokaki, I bet. I'm much nicer than he makes me out to be." She grinned mischievously, and after a minute I grinned back. It looked like she'd had the same problems with him I had. "Come on, you have to meet Tatara!" She reached out and tugged me out of the emperor's grasp and pulled me over to the handsome man I'd seen before, with long, dark brown hair and clear gray eyes. "He's a seishi also. By the way, where's Tokaki?"   
I clenched my teeth; I neither knew nor cared. "He'll be coming soon. Hello Tatara, it's nice to meet you as well." I managed to smile warmly at him. He looked to be a friendly man, if a bit quiet.   
He smiled back. "The pleasure is mine."   
"Suzuno, would you please give me back the seishi now?" The emperor said in a plaintive tone. I looked at him and he was grinning, looking so much like an ordinary person it spooked me. Then his face abruptly grew serious. "She needs to hear things."   
Suzuno nodded and turned me loose. I glanced at her and Tatara, then stepped back to the emperor. "What is it, heika-sama?"   
As he opened his mouth to speak there was a rush of air and Tokaki popped into view behind Tatara, not at all pleased and nearly red as wine. "Come on Tatara, I need your help, that damn fool Subaru went and ran away-"   
"From you? You deserved it!" I called.   
He squawked and fell over. I relished in my triumph of making him look ridiculous in front of the emperor himself by grinning evilly at him. The emperor put a hand to his forehead and sighed, shaking his head. "Tokaki, please learn NOT to make assumptions before you know the facts. Now come on, all of you, we have much to talk about."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Tatara, Suzuno, Tokaki, a man I didn't know, and I were seated at a low table, in a small room off Heika-sama's throne room. The new man was consulting many different maps he had spread over the table, which I couldn't understand. Tatara and Suzuno shared frequent serious glances, knowing what was coming and not sure how I would take it. Tokaki, still sullen, lounged next to me and grumbled under his breath about stubborn females.   
Heika-sama spoke briefly with the guards, leaving them strict instructions to only disturb them if a dire emergency happened, or in the unlikely event that another seishi showed up at the door. The guards nodded and he closed the door, taking his seat regally, smiling at me. "I'm sorry about the treatment you received out there. I'll have a word with my men to make sure it doesn't happen again."   
"Oh no no, it's okay, I can take care of myself!" I protested hurriedly, stunned. The emperor was apologizing to _me!_ Little, nothing _me!_ It couldn't be.   
"Still, I would wish to avoid further scenes like the one we just had. As would other women, I assume." I blushed and looked down. How had he known about that? "But right now we have serious matters to discuss." His tone hardened and he looked solemnly around the table. "Because of the appearance of the miko and the legendary warriors it is obvious that our country is now in great danger. As you know, Sairou has for the past four and a half years been involved in a war on the outer edges of our country. Many honorable men have died in what has been until now a seemingly pointless war." I squeezed my eyes shut, determined not to be seen crying in front of these awe-inspiring people. "But now we face complete destruction. Ebizo, if you would?"   
The new man nodded and stood, unrolling one of his maps on the table. He wasn't very tall, but he had an easy, confident air about him that made him seem bigger than he was. "Arigato, heika-sama. Now, this map shows the country of Sairou and the surrounding empires. The white section is ourselves, the red Konan, the blue Kutou, and the green Hokkan." Ebizo pointed at each place as he explained the map. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tokaki slump even further, bored out of his mind. "Kutou has for a decade, since the last ruler died without leaving a successor, been involved in a civil war, waging between five different factions in their country, each headed by a powerful noble who claims to be emperor. Four of those nobles have kept their thoughts focused on Kutou, but five years ago one, Taheiji-sama, realized the fighting would go on too long for him to be made emperor as he wished. But he was still ambitious, and he had an army. So he decided to invade our country and take the throne for himself."   
"Nani?! _That's_ why all our men died?! Because of some _baka_ Kutou noble who thinks too highly of himself?!" I nearly sprang to my feet. Bokkai's life had been ended because of some trumped-up lord who wasn't even from this _country_ and who wanted to be royal. There was no way he'd get away with it. Murderer…   
A hand tightened around my arm and pulled me gently back down. I glared at the hand and saw Tokaki, watching me seriously. "Subaru," he said quietly, "keep listening. You'll get revenge if you want it, but learn what you need to know to get it."   
I glared at him for a moment more before settling down again, ignoring the concerned looks of the other four around the table. I didn't want to tell them - not then. I folded my hands in my lap and forced myself to behave. "Gomen nasai. Keep going, please."   
Ebizo gave me one last look before rolling up the country map and bringing out a new one. "We've been able to hold him off until now, but our numbers are getting thin. And we've recently learned that one of the other warring nobles has had the same idea, except this time they've joined forces." He spread out the new map, one that showed only Sairou and its physical features - the desert, the line of arable land bordering it, the rivers and rock outcroppings. "The new army will be here soon, though the scouts report that they're having a hard time going through Konan and Kutou. They'll range themselves along the border and chip away at us little by little, until they've taken everything. Then the two nobles will split the country in two, each becoming emperor over his half." The small man's face was grim as he reported the facts. "To be blunt, we don't have the time to train soldiers to replace the ones we've lost. By the time we have new ones, the army will have taken everything but the capital, which we can't let happen. I'm not even sure we'd have enough men if we had enough time."   
"That's where we come in." Tatara's voice startled me briefly, and I looked at him. "We need to find the rest of the seishi quickly, and call Byakko. He can protect the empire."   
"That's why we sent out Tokaki to find you. We need you." Suzuno joined Tatara. I nodded; I knew they needed me. "Tatara also went, to look for Kokie, but he didn't find him - or her," she quickly amended. "We need to find the last four - Kokie, Toroki, Karasuki, and Amefuri. We have clues, but-" she smiled slightly "-as you probably know, they're not very specific."   
"Oh yeah, heika-sama, here." Tokaki produced the scroll from somewhere and handed it to the emperor, who accepted it with a relieved sigh. "Nothing happened to it, I promise." Tokaki grinned impishly. "I told you you could trust me."   
"In some things I can, certainly not all. Very well. Tomorrow we shall start again. Ebizo, have you explained everything?" The emperor glanced at him expectantly.   
Ebizo shrugged. "All that we know at the moment."   
"Good. I must leave, I still have affairs of state to settle." He sighed. "Suzuno, Subaru can have the room next to yours, will you please show her?" The girl nodded and smiled quickly at me. "I shall see you all at some later time, then." He nodded and disappeared through the door. Ebizo rolled up his maps and followed him.   
The room suddenly seemed much quieter. The four of us looked at each other, then away, somewhat unsure of how to proceed. "Well…" Suzuno ventured after a moment, "do you want to see your room, Subaru?"   
"Hai," I replied, not all that certain what I was getting into.   
"The let's go!" Suzuno stood and pulled me to my feet so quickly I could barely remember to breathe, then led me out the door to the small room. "It's not far, we're all in the guest wing. It's this way!" We emerged out the front entrance of the throne room and she began walking, almost bouncing, down the very wide corridor. "It's so nice to have another girl. Tokaki's nice, but he's… you know, and Tatara-" she colored faintly, and I hid a smile as I remembered what Tokaki had said about her and Tatara. It looked like that was true after all "-he's really nice, but he's quiet. And the emperor is wonderful, but he's married, with two children, and he's so busy that he almost never gets to spend time with us." Suzuno smiled and waved at one of the guards, who smiled back and nodded before returning to attention. "To tell the truth… do you mind if I tell you something?"   
I blinked, but shook my head. "I don't mind, go right ahead." She sure made friends fast, this girl.   
"Well… you probably know I come from another world." I nodded. "And I want to go back."   
"Do you miss your home?" I asked gently.   
"Hai, but… somehow I want to stay here also. It kind of feels _right_ for me to be here. And I know it's insane and makes no sense, but… I'm so confused." She smiled shyly at me. "Sorry, I just feel comfortable talking to you."   
I smiled. She might talk slightly strangely, she might be wearing abnormal clothes, but this girl had something about her… something that just made you want to trust and protect her. "It's all right. I kind of like it in fact. Let's make a deal, any time you want to talk, you look for me first, okay?"   
A slow grin broke over her face like the sun. "Deal! Come on Subaru, it's right up here!" She took off with a child's enthusiasm and turned down the next left, leading us back into the sun. I blinked at the sudden brightness, then ran to catch up with her, picking up my skirts in one hand and using the other one to smooth my running style. I'd have to get used to a lot more physical activity if Tokaki carried through on his threat. "Here it is!" Suzuno stopped outside one of the doors exposed to the sun, next to a large window that thankfully had a type of screen over it. "I'm right next door, and the boys are a little further down. Wait 'til you see it, these rooms are wonderful. Big beds and tables and thick carpeting…"   
I grinned and pushed open the rather plain but heavy door, and stepped into the room. She was right; these were excellent rooms, a thick cream-colored carpeting covering the floor and a large, comfortable looking bed with little curtains tucked in one corner. Then I turned around and saw… definitely not what I expected.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: No, she's NOT going to hit him every chapter! ~grins~ I had Gen-chan ask me that, and while it is highly amusing and quite fun to write, sometimes it just doesn't fit. But we can cherish every time it does ~_~   
Hee hee hee... cliffhanger-type-thing! ~smirks~ Couldn't resist. Stay tuned to find out what it was. And also stay turned to meet the other seishi, they're coming soon! Ja ne! 


	4. Chapter 4: Just a Day in the Life of a S...

  
DISCLAIMER: No own no own no own no own   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I finished this one in near-record time! Wai! ~applauds wildly for actually having accomplished a writing goal~   
Having said that... gomen, the writing quality isn't up to par, especially on the last half. It's mostly set up for the trip, and set up isn't something I can write very well under normal conditions. It's another one of my goals to write these types of sections better and better.   
I want to thank everyone for reading this story and sticking with me, who's not exactly the world's most frequent updater ;_; I especially wanna thank Okie-Doki-chan for, umm... _encouraging_ me to continue with this story. Thank you everyone! ~glomp~   
(PS-- And as always, thank you Mouse-chan! You certainly were right with that suggestion.)   


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There was a low, yet wide, chest of drawers placed against the outer wall, just far enough away from the doors so they didn't hit it when they were opened all the way. Situated on top of it, where it had absolutely no business being, was my basket, which I belatedly remembered leaving in the throne room in all the excitement. And the basket, in turn, had its own surprise for me…   
"What lovely flowers!" Suzuno cried with delight, running quickly over to bury her face in the fragrant blossoms. "And they smell so pretty!"   
They did smell nice. But they were awfully strong; already their scent had permeated the room. The stems were tossed haphazardly among the things I'd brought from home, filling the basket so you couldn't hold the highest part of the handle without brushing the colorful petals. Suzuno glanced at me, then gently pulled out a single flower, a dark blue one with many petals that complimented her eyes. She slipped it behind her ear and extracted another, light violet this time, and indicated that I should do the same with a smile.   
But I was seeing red. There was only one way the basket, and the flowers in it, could have gotten in my room. And while part of my mind was saying I should be grateful for an act of kindness, for some reason this new display also got under my skin. Why wouldn't he _get_ it? "Tokaki…"   
Suzuno looked at me for a second, confused, then shifted her gaze to the basket as realization broke over her face. The violet flower dangled from her fingers as she planted her hand on her hips, studying the basket like it was a puzzle that wanted to be solved. "He either wants to impress you or bribe you."   
"I don't care what he _wants_, I care that he can't take a hint!" I groaned and rubbed my left temple, closing the doors and leaning against them. Not even physical action had gotten the message into his mind. I briefly considered flirting right back at him, in case he was the type to lose interest when he'd won the girl over. But no, he was far too eager to accept any "favors" to be put off that way. Time to think of another plan of attack.   
"Well… hmm. He certainly trying hard." She didn't give me a chance to ask what _that_ meant. "Want help unpacking?"   
"Why not?" I began plucking stems out of the basket and laying them on the chest of drawers.   
We worked well together, seldom getting in each other's way, folding clothing for the drawers and placing personal effects aside. As we worked we talked. She told me about the family she had in her world, the parents and little brother she missed, but managed to keep herself under control. It was very plain she loved them deeply, and I felt great sympathy for her. But I was also proud of her for not letting the emotions overtake her and rule her life. In return I spoke of my own family: my sisters, especially Masame, my parents, Bokkai. Her friendly manner and ready smile made it easier to talk to her than almost anyone I'd ever met. But I wasn't able to display the amount of control she could; tears gathered in the corners of my eyes as I spoke of his death. I watched the carpeting beneath my feet as I carefully folded one of my blouses, telling of the letter we'd received that contained life-shattering news of a shattered life.   
Her hand wrapped itself around mine and squeezed it tightly. I looked up to see her smile, filled with sadness and sympathy, on me. "It's okay to cry if you want. I won't think any less of you."   
I quickly wiped the tears out of my eyes with my free hand as I squeezed back with the other and smiled. "Arigato… but, that's not the end." My voice dropped to a monotone as I reconstructed the events of the previous evening and that morning: the discovery of a new seishi, my family's reactions.   
"I…" Suzuno's voice trailed off, wordless. "I… I'm sorry, Subaru."   
"Don't be. I knew what would happen. I wanted to come." I grinned quickly at her and closed a drawer. "After all, _someone_ has to keep Tokaki in line."   
She burst out laughing and nodded. "So true!"   
A sharp knocking on the door drew our attention. "Subaru, it's us! Open up!"   
I sighed in exasperation and rolled my eyes at Tokaki's demanding tone, but opened the door to him and Tatara. "What do you two want?"   
"Aww, don't sound so happy to see us."   
Tatara wisely ignored his friend's comment. "We're were going to try and see how much you know about fighting." He aimed a small smirk at Tokaki. "From what this one's told me, you're plenty strong. We need to find a way to put it to use. Would you come with us to the practice court?" He looked at Suzuno. "You can come with us as well, if you like."   
I glanced down at my clothing, remembering just how hard it had been to run in the dress. Fighting was definitely out of the question. "All right, just let me change my clothes - and no you may NOT stay, you pervert."   
"She's starting to anticipate me… scary…" Tokaki shuddered and ducked quickly out of the room.   
"Or good, depending on your point of view." Suzuno grinned at me and walked over to Tatara, taking his hand and leading him outside. "We'll be waiting for you Subaru." Tatara smiled at me and closed the door behind himself, leaving me in privacy.   
I tried to remember what I had brought with me that would be suitable for a lot of physical work and came up with little. While they fit comfortably and could be altered somewhat, my clothes simply weren't designed with fighting in mind. That cloth I'd bought the day before - just one day! - would come in good use now, as soon as I was able to get to work. I quickly slid the dress over my head and opened the drawer with my blouses, pulling out the simplest one I had, in creamy linen. The next draw produced a dark blue skirt, with several pleats that could expand for running, or kicking if necessary. I had a feeling I'd been living in these clothes for the next few days until I could find something more suitable as I quickly donned them. No use keeping them waiting, Tokaki seemed to be in a weird enough mood as it was.   
I opened the door and stepped out into the sunshine again, blinking as my eyes adjusted to the brightness. A wolf whistle, followed by a slap, reached my ears, and I turned to see Tokaki rubbing his cheek and Suzuno looking satisfied. Tatara was either very used to these occurrences or very good at ignoring them; in either case he smiled again and gestured to the left, in the direction away from the throne room. "The courts are this way, near the guard house. There shouldn't be many people there now, so we can have the place to ourselves." He stepped up next to me and we began walking, Tokaki and Suzuno following, chatting as a group.   
I was surprised at how close I felt to all these… strangers already. Suzuno seemed like a sister, a somewhat older Masame, smart, but naïve in her way. Tatara was still an enigma, but he seemed to be both kind and patient, and I felt sure I'd understand him better after talking with him. And those traits really came in handy with Tokaki. I grudgingly admitted that even with his lecherous behavior Tokaki was someone I could trust - at least most of the time. He definitely needed someone keeping an eye on him. But he still seemed perfectly honest and open, and I couldn't find fault with him otherwise.   
Was this the way Byakko worked? Picking people who would compliment each other, be easy to get along with? There would have to be other criteria, of course, but maybe that was part of the process. We had to work as one at times, it seemed, and that couldn't happen if a single seishi were out of sync with the rest…   
"And this is the oh-so-glorious practice court," Tokaki drawled, breaking me out of my considerations. "If you come here expecting fame, you're obviously in the wrong place. The men here work new people to death." He flashed a grin. "Don't worry, we won't kill you - yet."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
It was past lunch time when the three of us gave up, sitting on the benches thoughtfully placed around the inconspicuous dirt ring. I was the only one breathing very hard, but Tokaki and Tatara seemed tired. Suzuno had gone off to find some water for us to wet our parched throats.   
For a "killing ground," there certainly wasn't a lot to it. An almost-perfect circle made of stamped dirt, packed so hard that when it rained it didn't churn into mud, occupied a fifty-foot area next to the guard house. There was a small building next to it where the spare weapons were kept, for new recruits or emergencies. They had explained to me, when I'd commented on the lack of arms, that each man had his own set, that he kept in his room. I didn't question further, I'd never really understood military matters, and proceeded to follow their directions in choosing my practice weapons. A short knife, a sword, a bow with arrows to match, a staff - the basics, they called them. The only one I could even imagine myself using was the staff, only because it looked like you could hit something very solid with it - like Tokaki's head - and cause some damage. But I didn't argue, and we proceeded outside.   
I had been right. In many, many trials that left my arms sore we determined that I just wasn't a good shot with a bow. The same thing happened when Tatara fought me with the sword. Even I could tell he was being extra careful to miss and not slice something open - me. His evaluation was that, given enough time, I could learn the sword, but not fast enough for it to be of any help. I was actually fairly good with the knife, as I'd once learned some things designed to keep me out of trouble if I'd met the wrong people, and Tatara said we could continue with those lessons.   
With the staff, however, I nearly _did_ take off Tokaki's head - on purpose. He barely ducked in time, flipping out of the way and giving me a grudging look of admiration when he'd landed. I smirked and drove at him again, imagining I was holding my familiar plank. He blocked me several times, but I got through with enough shots to have him curse at me frequently. I was pretty proud, but chalked it up to another perk of being a seishi - we all had to defend ourselves, and I didn't think my power was very good for that. It was only logical I should be good with _some_ weapon, or I'd more likely than not wind up dead.   
Tokaki also tested me on fighting with my body alone. Again, I knew a few basic kicks, punches, blocks, and other little tricks, useful for getting out of tight situations. I was knocked down repeatedly, but always stood up to continue, the stubborn side of me shining through bright and clear.   
When we were finished the three of us collapsed on the benches, sweating, tired, dirt-smeared seishi. I was much worse than the other two, and could only think of a long soak in a very hot bath, maybe with some scent in the water to relax my aching muscles. My throat was so dry it was like paper, and my eyes almost refused to stay open. There was a rip in my skirt and my blouse was much more brown than cream. I definitely needed more clothes.   
A cold cup was pressed into my hand and I downed the water gratefully, swallowing all of it before looking up at my savior. Suzuno smiled at me and poured another cup from the pitcher she carried, before moving on to the boys.   
"Well, Subaru…" Tatara said after he'd downed his own water, "I'd say you can fight."   
I groaned. "Don't say that word… it's a work of evil…"   
Suzuno laughed and walked back over to me, taking me by the elbow and helping me to my feet. "Come on, let's get you to the baths… You'll feel better after a soak."   
"Yeah, you will." Tokaki supported Suzuno, standing himself and leaning against the wall of the guardhouse. "We all will. Food too, probably, we skipped lunch."   
"Bath first, Subaru's almost dead on her feet. Honestly, did you two have to work her _that_ hard?"   
Amazingly Tokaki still had enough energy to grin lecherously. "That wasn't working hard. You just wait, soon I'll really show her what working hard is."   
"Remind me to smack him later," I muttered to Suzuno as she guided me to the baths.   
  


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The bath was wonderful. Large pools filled with water that was just hot enough, heated by fires underneath the floor. There were large, fluffy towels on shelves near the door, and bathing robes hanging on hooks next to them, all with matching slippers. The pools were large enough to even hold my magnitude of hair, which I gave a thorough scrubbing to get all the dust and dirt out. I needed to do something with my hair, the same way I needed to do something about my clothes, but I refused to cut it off. I'd think of a solution later. At that moment just relaxing in the water was heaven. I could feel all the stress of the past two days slowly seeping out of my muscles, flowing into the water where it would be washed away when the pool was emptied.   
A polite knock came at the door and a feminine voice called softly. "Subaru-sama? The emperor would like to see you."   
I silently groaned, reluctant to leave my paradise. "Now?"   
"As soon as is convenient for you."   
I sighed. At least he was considerate enough to not demand to see me _now_, like other rulers did. I hauled myself out of the bath and wrung out my hair, letting it fall wet along my back and drag on the ground, little water trails forming in my wake. Lifting the mass of hair off my shoulders I slid the robe on underneath, belting it tightly, and stepped into the slippers placed with it. I slowly opened the door, looking for the servant who had been sent to summon me. It was a girl of maybe fourteen, with long dark hair and vivid blue eyes. She hurriedly stepped back and bowed low, and I felt myself flush faintly with embarrassment. "Y-You don't need to do that."   
"But you are one of the seishi, it is only polite." She bowed again.   
"No, really, you don't have to do that. It… it's making me nervous, _please_ don't treat me like I'm some kind of noble."   
She started to bow again, but caught herself in mid-action and straightened again, a puzzled, somewhat scared look on her face. Was this girl… _afraid_ of me? "Umm… can you show me how to get to my room? I don't know my way around here at all…"   
I could see her swallow nervously but nod, saying nothing, then turned and began walking in the direction Suzuno and I had come from. Her steps were quick and skittish, and I hurried to catch up, scared of losing sight of her and losing my way again - especially dressed the way I was.   
"You… You wouldn't happen to know where my clothes went, would you?"   
She nodded again, not looking back at me. "They have been taken to the palace laundry, they will be returned to you later tonight or tomorrow morning."   
So much for getting her to talk.   
A few long corridors and several confusing turns later, we were back in the guest wing. I sighed in relief and smiled at her. "Thank you so much, if I'd had to find my own way I'd probably be in the kitchens right about now."   
I thought I saw a smile flit across her face, but I couldn't tell in the half-shadows. "It was nothing, Subaru-sama. I was only doing what I must." She bowed again, but it was less in fear now. "I shall return soon to take you to heika-sama." She turned around and began walking briskly, turning down the first right turn and disappearing from my sight.   
Pushing open the doors to my room I walked in, completely ignoring the wonderful features of pure luxury in favor of the bed, which I collapsed face-first onto. The bath had relaxed me to the point where I was falling asleep, and the bed was possibly the most comfortable thing I'd ever fallen on.   
"Want company?"   
I growled. "Not on your life." I didn't bother to unbury my face from the pillows, I knew where he was, sitting in one of the chairs that ringed my table. "You stay right there or risk bodily harm."   
"All right, all right, I know when I'm beaten for awhile." He sighed and shifted position. "And I'm running people's errands again, Tatara and Suzuno want to know if you'd like to eat with us."   
"I have to see the Emperor, but afterwards it's fine. Now get out."   
"Aww, do I have to?"   
"Would you rather be severely maimed?"   
I smiled into my pillows at the small, satisfying pop of air that accompanied his disappearance.   
Where the strength and the willpower to push myself to my feet came from, I don't know, but I used it, walking over to the drawers and pulling one randomly open, drawing out the dress I found there and slipping it over my head. I squeezed out my hair again, then quickly put it in a simple braid until it dried. Even then the braid trailed on the floor. I found some strong hair pins and ribbons in the pile of things Suzuno had swept onto the table and wrapped the braid around my head, creating a sort of crown of hair. It looked all right, but it was _heavy_, especially with my hair still damp. But it would do. I rubbed my eyes to rid them of all traces of sleep, then waited for the girl to return.   
Only a few minutes later her soft knock came again. "Subaru-sama? Are you ready?"   
"Hai," I called, pushing in one pin that was threatening to pop out and stepping out of my room.   
"This way, please." Once again she led, and I followed, except this time I remembered the way. We retraced the path Suzuno and I had taken from the throne room that morning. I was about to say I knew the rest of the way, but she turned unexpectedly before we reached the throne room. I trailed after her, puzzled, until she stopped before a surprisingly unassuming door. "He's waiting inside. Oyasumi, Subaru-sama." Before I could ask her to please not bow, she bowed and left me before the plain wooden door.   
I sighed; life in the palace would obviously take some getting used to. My fist raised and I knocked, at first hesitantly, then harder to be sure I was heard.   
"Enter." The emperor's voice drifted through the wood and I pushed open the door slowly, peeking around the door to see whom all was there. Besides the emperor, there was only a middle-aged woman with the type of face you associated with a kind, but stern person. "Ahh, Subaru! Come in, come in!" I walked in nervously, unconsciously smoothing my skirts with my hands. "Subaru, this is Tomomi, the head dressmaker for the women of nobility in the palace." I was even more confused, but I bowed to the new woman. Why would I need to meet the dressmaker? "Suzuno was telling me earlier of the seishis' exercises today. She, ah… made the suggestion that you might need something else to wear."   
Yipe. "I do, but I can take care of it myself, it's really no trouble-"   
"No, no Subaru, I insist. It's the least I can do to thank you for helping save my empire." The twinkle in his eye was back threefold as he looked at me. "Tomomi will take care of you, just go with her and she'll find you suitable clothing."   
"Yes yes, come along now, I haven't got a lot of time." Tomomi grabbed my wrist and began hauling me after her out the door and down the halls, her grip firm but gentle. "So you're a seishi, eh girlie? 'xpect you'll have to do you're share of fighting at some point… Think we've got something that'd fit you, although most of our girls aren't as big on top as you…" My face flushed furiously as she pulled me through another maze of twisting corridors which inspired me to be more directionally confused than ever. "Well, here we are, let's see what we've got."   
There was another plain, yet very large door set in the wall. Tomomi had to let go of me to push it open with both hands, and for a second I considered bolting. But she grabbed my wrist again and herded me inside before I could take a step, as if she were used to her "charges" trying to run away. "Now now, you stand right here and wait, I'll be back in a second." She steered me to a relatively clear place in the floor and bustled away, and I took the opportunity to look around.   
If I hadn't been in a state of half-shock, half-fear of the mistress of this domain, I would have been in heaven again. Cloth everywhere, needles, clothes in all stages of completeness - I could have probably spent years look through it all and not seen everything. It was stuffed to the ceiling with, well, _stuff_, half of which I didn't know the use for.   
Tomomi picked her way over the things on the floor, a cord with knots tied on it dangling from her hand. "Now now dearie, close your mouth, no need to look like a fish out of water now. Now stand up like this and hold nice and still, we're going to measure you and this needs to be accurate." She adjusted my arms and legs to her liking, then quickly measured me with the cord, using the knots as counters: the length of my arms and legs, my torso, my waist, my hips, my bust line. She didn't write anything down, but muttered to herself, probably to keep the numbers with her. Then she walked into one of the several back rooms I could see, disappearing from my sight for a few seconds before emerging with a pile of folded fabric. "Now then girlie, just go back there-" she began to push me in the direction of a second back room "- and we'll see how those fit; yes, those'll be much better for fighting and riding and the like, let's see how they look on you." I stumbled over a few boxes and stray bolts of cloth, but made my way mostly unharmed into the back room.   
The clothes were simple, sturdy, and finer than anything I'd ever owned. They were too good for me, but who knew _what_ Tomomi would do if I refused to put them on. I pulled my dress over my head, being careful not to catch it on my hair, and shook out the first item on the pile. It was a pair of feminine trousers in yellow, which looked comfortable and easy to move in. I briefly wondered how many of the palace women practiced martial arts to require such clothing and I stepped into them. They fit fine, and felt better. Then there was a long, feminine-style shirt/dress, which came down to my knees. It was a deep blue that rustled softly as I put my arms through it, and tied it with the yellow sash that matched the pants. It _was_ a bit tight around my chest, but it would do. There was also a pair of slippers in blue, and a couple of yellow ribbons that I slipped into a pocket. Tomomi had been right, I could tell these would be much easier to fight and ride in than what I had worn that afternoon, and would be much less likely to rip or tear to boot. I decided not to press the finery issue and consider it a stroke of good fortune as Tomomi's voice beckoned me out of the room.   
"Now let me see you try and kick high." I nodded and complied, lashing out with my right foot at an invisible enemy, landing a strike on their "head" and balancing easily. "There dearie, I was right, they will do much better. Now off you go, I have a lot of work to finish."   
"But wait, my dress-"   
"Oh, you'll get it back sooner or later, now out you go!" I tripped over a rag doll in the hurry to get away from that overwhelming woman, not realizing until the door had shut that I had no idea where I was, or how to get back.   
I sighed and turned left, fairly certain that was the way she'd dragged me earlier and determined to find my way back on my own. But the palace itself was against me; this deep in, every door was the same, every hallway the same color, the half-light in every corridor flickered in the same patterns. Giving myself up for hopelessly lost and doomed to wander the unknown halls for all eternity was beginning to sound like a good idea when my nose picked up something. Something delicious. I headed in the direction the smell was coming from, hoping I'd find someone who could take me to one place I knew.   
The kitchen was bustling with activity, servants and cooks running in all directions, each doing three things at once. I stood in the doorway watching the perfectly controlled chaos with wide eyes.   
"Subaru-sama!"   
It was the same girl who'd shown me to my room from the baths earlier, but now she was no longer nervous, just surprised. She was carrying a large platter with fruit artfully stacked on it, apparently taking it to one of the many dinners happening around the palace now. "Subaru-sama, are you lost?"   
"_Yes!_" My reply was a little more emphatic than I had wanted, but I was about ready to collapse with relief at having found a native.   
"Where are you supposed to be?"   
"I don't know, I should be eating with the other seishi, but I don't know where that is or how to get there."   
"Ahh, I see." She nodded with sympathetic understanding. "Follow me, I can show you."   
"Arigato! I'm hopeless with directions," I admitted with a sheepish grin.   
To my complete surprise, she _laughed_ softly. "It's not that hard to learn your way around, but the monotony makes it a large job. Come, I have to take this to the emperor." She ducked out of the kitchen and I stuck close to her, tracing back along the path I had come. I had gotten hopelessly tangled in trying to take myself back, and this time I set my mind to remembering every turn we made. If worst came to worst I could try to find my way to the kitchen again, where hopefully someone helpful would take me where I needed to be.   
We emerged from the almost tomb-like depths of the palace into the day, and I had to shield my eyes against the setting sun. "I believe the seishi are dining in Miko-sama's room, Subaru-sama. I trust you can find your way there." She smiled slightly and I looked around, and did a double take when I realized I was next to my room. "Now I really must get to the emperor. Oyasumi."   
"Thank you _so_ much, I don't know what I would have done today without you." She blushed slightly and ducked her head quickly in what was probably the best bow she could make, then walked as fast as possible down the veranda in the direction of the throne room.   
I pushed the mouse-like girl out of my mind and knocked on Suzuno's door, not waiting for an answer and stepping in quickly. "Ahh, Subaru, there you are! We were wondering what had happened to you." Suzuno's voice was happy and content, and made me want to smile.   
"Well, _somehow_…" I mock-glared mildly at the younger girl, "heika-sama got it in his head that I needed new clothes, and he sent me off with the palace dressmaker."   
She giggled. "Wher_ever_ did he get that idea?"   
"You look very nice, Subaru. Please, have a seat, we've just started." Tatara smiled and indicated the free chair across the table from his own seat, where another plate, cup, and pair of chopsticks was laid out for me. I sat gratefully, ready to relax again. Then I kicked Tokaki under the table.   
"Itaiii, what was _that_ one for?!"   
"For that look you were giving me."   
He grinned wolfishly. "What, you can accept a compliment from Tatara and not from me? Do _you_ like him too?"   
"No, I just don't like the _form_ your compliments take."   
Suzuno cleared her throat loudly. "Ahh, excuse me, but can you two save the bickering for later? We have to talk now, it _is_ kind of important." I glared mildly at him once more, a warning glare, and watched my miko. She was undoubtedly the miko now, her posture, the look on her face, her tone of voice all added to a picture of an unmistakably regal bearing. "Subaru, we've decided, if it's all right with you, to go out tomorrow as a group and search for the other seishi. Supposedly seishis' life forces are attracted to each other, so the theory is the more of you there are in one place, the more likely it is a seishi will show. Does that make any sense?" I blinked at the sudden transformation but nodded quickly: for a moment there, the miko had become a shy, confused schoolgirl. "Well, we sent out Tatara and Tokaki separately at first as you know. We thought it would save time, but it took too long to find even you, almost three weeks. So… are you willing to leave tomorrow?"   
I smiled. "Of course I am, the sooner we get the seishi, the sooner you can call Byakko, and the sooner he can drive out the Kutou. I'm for the plan."   
"Yea!" She leaned over to briefly hug me around my neck, then righted her chair before it could topple to the floor with her in it.   
I saw Tatara smile, half his face hidden behind his hair. "We have the clues on the scroll to help find the others, so hopefully it will not be that hard. _Hopefully_. There is no guarantee we'll find the other four seishi within a year, but I believe we will. We just have to know where to look."   
"Does the scroll give any hints as to _where_ in Sairou they could be?"   
Tokaki shook his head. "Nope, it just has two clues for every seishi. So for you've been the only one with any clue as to 'where,' mine were 'pressure' and 'gone.' Tatara over there had 'seed' and 'whip.'"   
"Seed? Whip? What _is_ your power, Tatara?" I picked up the cup and took a sip of water, wondering how I'd forgotten to ask this question before.   
Instead of speaking, he took off his unusual necklace - which I now saw was made of different types of seeds, not beads as I had assumed. He gently pulled one off and set it in the middle of his left palm, holding his right over it steadily. It began to glow with a greenish-white light, the light of Byakko and the light of life. The seed's skin split effortlessly and a green tendril pushed itself into the air, stopping at a foot tall and producing two buds which opened into a few leaves and a white flower. It all happened in less than five seconds. I could only stare at the flower that seemed to grow from his palm, then jumped slightly when it started to reach for me. "I work with plants. Of all kinds. When I first… met Suzuno I grew a vine and used it as a whip to drive away a leopard. It works surprisingly well." There was a soft breeze as the flower was sucked back into the seed, which healed its wound quickly, looking as though it had never been opened. "And now, I say we should start planning this trip of ours before we're three days from the palace and realize we have no clean clothes." He picked up his cup and held it above the table in the air, looking at us expectantly.   
I grinned and took the hint, raising my cup to clink against his. "We can do this!" Suzuno laughed and joined in, and Tokaki let out an ear-splitting yell of triumph. "To us!"   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: So how'd you like what she saw at the beginning? ~_^   
Ahh, gomen, gomen for the cheesy ending ;_; But it served it's purpose, now they're ready to go look for the other seishi! Wai! That's gonna be fun, I sooo wanna get into that. Seishi seishi seishi seishi seishi seishi...   
And gomen for the poor writing quality and the over use of "I". I'm gonna try and make all the other chapters much much better! Now that we're out of the set up it'll probably be easier for me to write this, so stay tuned for any updates! And again, thank you SO much for reading! 


	5. Chapter 5: Seishi Instincts

  
DISCLAIMER: **I own everything and everyone! Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!**   


~~Intermission while the men in white coats arrive and straightjacket Kaze-chan~~

  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Writer's block on _everything else_ I'm working on translates into good luck for my poor neglected Market. ~hugs story~ I'm sorry, I just didn't know how to write you right! Wait... write you right... should that go... ahh, never mind!   
I SURPRISED myself with this chapter - I wrote the entire thing in less than fifteen hours! I haven't done that in FOREVER. I've had the ideas for this chapter for awhile, but they sort of ran away with me... again... ~grins sheepishly~   
This chapter is for Antigone. I'm one of the world's most horrible people about reviewing, but your stories are great! And thank you SO much for _your_ reviews, they made the difference in the quickness-in-writing this chapter.   
Thank you everyone for sticking with me! It means so much to have people read my stuff!   
  


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A soft click interrupted my floating dreams the next morning, raising me out of the imaginary garden my mind had spun for me in the night and returning me reluctantly to my body. I could feel the soft new sunlight seep through the screen to lay decorative patterns of buttery yellow on the cream carpet, although I couldn't see it because I refused to open my eyes. I ached all over, from head to toe, and as I rolled on my side away from the sleep-robbing light I could feel more than one bruise. I knew I could have felt much, much worse, but the knowledge didn't exactly offer much comfort to my pained muscles.   
My mind was suddenly flooded with memories of the dinner the night before, and our vow to leave to find the other seishi, as if Byakko himself was telling me to get myself out of bed. I moaned and rolled over, slowly sitting up and pressing a hand to my temple. Maybe I should find that servant girl, and ask her about possibly getting something to soothe headaches… But I had no idea where to look, and had to get dressed to go nearly anywhere. I disentangled my legs and feet from the blankets and planted them firmly on the floor before risking standing up, holding onto the bed frame to keep my balance.   
The source of the click that had woken me was immediately apparent: someone had gone out the door, because on the table there was a stack of clothing, a set of worn, yet durable saddlebags, and a piece of paper hanging over the edge and still waving slightly. I walked over, relishing the feel of the carpet on my sore feet, and sat in one of the comfortable chairs. The paper finally slipped from underneath the clothing and began to waft to the floor, but I caught it quickly and blinked the sleep out of my eyes to read it.   
"Subaru," I read aloud, "you will need these to take your things with you on the journey. You cannot carry that charming little basket with you everywhere." My face was a bit warm all of a sudden. "And Tomomi has insisted you take these new clothes as well, and I quote her: 'She can have 'em, none of our girls use 'em anyway.' She really is a strong woman, as I am sure you found out yesterday. I wish you good luck on your journey and hope the four of you return safely. Heika-sama."   
I placed the paper on the table again, sliding it under the saddlebags to weigh it down, and began to rifle through the new clothes. There were three more outfits of the type Tomomi had foisted on me the day before, all in coordinating colors with necessary accessories tucked somewhere in a pocket. All of them were of the same high quality as the blue and yellow outfit; this would cost a fortune at any merchant's shop. There was also a new nightgown, one suitable for travel and possibly sleeping on hard ground. If the saddlebags were a clue, we would probably be riding, but it was no stretch of the imagination to think that sometimes we wouldn't be able to make it to an inn or tavern for the night. Thankfully it was still warm outside, almost uncomfortably so. I hurriedly selected a fresh set of clothes from the pile now before me and got dressed, pulling my hair into its usual loops and cinching them tight with the ribbons. The rest of the new things I crammed into the saddlebags, along with one of my old dresses from home and a few other small things. I carefully folded the emperor's note and slid it in between the clothes, determined not to bend it.   
There was a new deferent knock at my door, but it sounded odd. As if someone were kicking instead of knocking. Then came a familiar, much appreciated voice. "Subaru-sama, would you open the door, onegai? My hands are full."   
I stumbled into my new slippers and hopped across the floor, trying to hook them behind my heels and open the door at the same time. Fortunately, the girl had the kindness not to laugh at my ridiculous display, just hide a smile by tilting her head slightly and letting her hair fall around her face. "Subaru-sama, I've brought you breakfast." She placed a rather large tray laden with food on the table next to the bags and held my arm while I pulled on the slippers, helping me keep my balance. "Is there anything else you need for your journey?"   
"I don't think so, but could you wait while I eat? I need to go somewhere, and…" I grinned sheepishly. "Well, you probably remember."   
She giggled slightly. "Yes, very well. Where is it you need to go?"   
"The doctor."   
"The doctor?"   
"Hai."   
  


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After a delicious breakfast and a quick stop by the palace doctor, a middle-aged man just on that side of balding, the girl guided me to the stable yards while I found a place for the new packets of various herbs the doctor had given me, all things that could be made into different teas to cure a variety of minor aches and pains. "This is it, Subaru-sama. I wish you well on your trip, and hope you find the other seishi quickly."   
I smiled quickly at her. "Thank you so much, I've appreciated your help in the past couple days more than you know."   
"Oh, I think I know. You might still be in the kitchens otherwise." She smiled again, and I was happy to see she no longer seemed afraid of me. But… was it just my overactive imagination, or had her voice, when she wished us luck, sounded somewhat solemn and resigned? "Now I'm afraid I must get back to work, I shall see you on your return." She bobbed her head, as close as I could get her to giving up bowing completely, and whirled in a swirl of white skirt to return to her chores.   
"Ne, matte," I called. "Can I ask you a question?"   
She turned and smiled. "Hai, you may."   
"What's your name?"   
"My name?" She seemed slightly surprised, and I wondered if this was the first time one of the people she was "serving" had asked her that question. No, that was unfair, the emperor almost certainly had, he was kind in that way. But it must not have happened often. Her face lit with the inner light of innocence and she grinned. She looked like a normal child, not a faceless entity that did whatever one wanted. "It's Inoue."   
Once again I smiled. "Arigato, Inoue." I waved at her and walked briskly over to the small group that was bustling around three horses standing in the stable yard.   
"Suba-chan!" A runaway streak of blue crashed into me, and I was suddenly back home, looking down at Masame. But Masame didn't have long braided pigtails, nor did she wear foreign clothing - both of which fit this not-Masame. I shoved all thoughts of home from my mind and smiled down at Suzuno, hugging her quickly. "We're almost set, I asked them to get a third horse so you wouldn't have to share with Tokaki." She grinned impishly and I briefly wondered how she could have so much _energy_ this early in the morning. Then again, she wasn't the one that had nearly died yesterday.   
"_Thank_ you. By the way, how's he behaving today?"   
"Actually, he's doing fairly well, for him. But I thought you wouldn't want to risk your luck."   
I grinned. "You were absolutely right. Come on, let's get going." We trekked through the milling people, most of who seemed to doing nothing but talking and getting in the way. I could see Tokaki's shock of white hair, bent over a saddle, and next to him Tatara. They were talking, but not loud enough to be heard over the other clamor. Suzuno and I edged our way through the crowd to them and the horses, holding my saddlebags in front of me like a battering ram.   
"Ahh, mornin'. All set for today Subaru?" Tokaki sounded nice and awake, though he didn't look up from his saddle girth. "We're gonna be riding awhile, but you can take it, can't you boy?" He affectionately slapped his horse on the neck, and the animal turned to nuzzle his hand with its nose. "Ahh, found me out." He laughed and dipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out an apple, which the horse grabbed and began taking large bites of. "Ne, ne, not so fast, I want to keep my fingers."   
I just watched, made reverently silent by the calm display of pure affection. Nothing wolfish, nothing wanting, just simple companionship. He actually seemed like a normal human being for once.   
A tap on my shoulder produced Tatara, who graciously took my bags and slung over the back of the last horse, a small chestnut mare who had a twinkle in her eye, almost like the emperor. She seemed friendly, which was good because I hadn't ridden much in awhile. Oh, I could ride, I just hadn't had to for some time. I hoped I remembered everything as I stepped up to her, letting her sniff my hand before rubbing her gently on her muzzle. "Does she have a name?" I asked, glancing at Tatara.   
He shook his head. "We've been given spares, the nobles never bothered to name them. I guess it up to you if you want to."   
I looked back at the horse, who gazed back at me complacently with clear eyes reflecting the clouds. Clouds… "How does 'Sora' sound to you?"   
"'Sky'?" He grinned quickly. "I think it's fine. It's up to you. She's sort of your horse now."   
I raked my fingers through her mane, disentangling some minor knots I found there. "Then Sora it is. When are we leaving?"   
"As soon as we can clear the gaggle of geese out of the way. Are you ready?" I nodded firmly. "Then let's go."   
  


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Several hours later we broke for lunch, spreading an old blanket on the ground and sitting comfortably on it, eating the foodstuffs sent with us by the palace cooks and inspecting the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho that heika-sama had given to Suzuno.   
"Okay." Tokaki quickly licked his fingers clean, then unrolled the scroll to the part where it gave the clues for finding the other seishi. He dramatically closed his eyes and began waving his hand over the paper. "Tell me when to stop, and that'll be the next one to look for."   
Suzuno and I grinned amusedly at each other, then watched him look silly for a few more seconds before she said calmly "Stop."   
Tokaki brought his finger down to touch the scroll, then opened his eyes. "Lesse… wow, this is a really old dialect… Ahh, 'sight' and 'bow.' Maybe our next one'll be a fantastic archer, that certainly couldn't hurt us."   
"Possibly. May I see?" Tokaki relinquished possession of the scroll to Tatara. The longhaired man bent over it, peering closely at the slightly strange writing. "It looks like… yes, that's it. 'Sight' and 'bow.' Hmm…" He settled back into his contemplative state, his eyes closing half-way and leaning back, looking up at the sky.   
"Does it say which seishi that's for?" Suzuno asked around bites.   
Tokaki shook his head. "Iya, that's all."   
"What are the clues for the other three?"   
I took the scroll out of Tatara's hand and scrutinized it as well. "'Forge' and 'fire,' 'string' and 'staff,' and 'breeze' and 'light.'" I sighed as I rolled up the scroll. "Talk about unspecific…"   
Tokaki suddenly shot to his feet, landing in a fighting position as I dove for Suzuno, knocking her flat on the ground, and Tatara rolled into a crouch and concentrated. Seconds later vines shot up through the soil at his feet, waving in front of him like dancing snakes. We'd all felt the same danger, and not a moment too soon: arrows seemed to rain down on us from one of the trees, no more than five but seeming like a thousand as they were all aimed at Suzuno. One whizzed just above my head, fast enough to stir my hair with the breeze of its passing. Tokaki grabbed one right out of the air, and Tatara's vines snagged two more. The last plunged into the ground at my side, pinning the blanket against the leafy soil cover. The air popped as Tokaki vanished, then reappeared in the tree the arrows had come from. We could see his red shirt clearly in the green leaves, the color defining his swift movements back and forth. Then came a sickening CRACK as heads were bashed together, and two unconscious men in dark green swathing capes fell from the tree.   
"Are they still alive?" His voice called down, before he disappeared and materialized at the base of the trunk. He quickly took each man's pulse and leaned close to hear them breathing. I warily looked around the small clearing, keeping an eye out for any other attackers. However, those two seemed to be it, and I slowly released Suzuno, sitting back up cautiously and watching my surrounding sharply.   
A small gasp made me look at my miko again. She wasn't moving, simply breathing hard and looking terrified. I winced in sympathy and took her hand in mine, squeezing it hard. "It's all right, they're gone now. Tokaki knocked them out, look." I nodded in the direction of the tree, where Tatara too knelt now. The magical vines were sprouting from the earth and twining themselves around the attackers' bodies, encasing them in yards and yards of strong, green rope. They wouldn't be going anywhere soon, and hopefully we could get some answers out of them. Suzuno hesitantly turned her head to look, then heaved a half-sob. "I was so scared, Suba-chan…"   
I smiled. "Don't worry, we'll make sure you're all right. Now let's get up."   
"Hai."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
An hour later they still weren't awake. "You hit them too hard." Even Tatara's patience was strained, and he gave Tokaki a tired glare. "Who knows _when_ they'll wake up." He looked down again at the girl pressed against his chest. Suzuno had latched onto him and refused to let him go, even as she also refused to again look at the men. He awkwardly stroked her hair, a look of genuine concern on his face.   
"They hit _themselves_ too hard," Tokaki said innocently. No one felt like pressing the point with him. "Anyway, we know who they probably are - spies for Taheiji. Who else would be af-" he quickly changed words with a glance at Suzuno "-would have a motive to do something like this? And we _know_ he's a damned sneak, there's your answers right there."   
He had a point. If Taheiji had found out about Byakko no Miko, then he undoubtedly knew the legend. Maybe Kutou even had a similar one, no one knew, but Tokaki's theory was perfectly reasonable. It would even make sense that he'd have spies posted around the palace, to report the comings and goings of potential hostages and threats. It looked like we'd just had our first encounter with him.   
"So what do we do with them?" I asked quietly. "Leave them here, take them with us, stay until they wake up and we can question them here?"   
"We've been here an hour already… how much longer are we willing to wait?" Tokaki glanced at Tatara and Suzuno, an almost challenging look directed at the other seishi. "In my personal opinion, they're not gonna wake up for awhile. Are the horses strong enough to carry them to the next town?"   
"You should know, you knocked them out." Tatara sighed and shook his head. "We'll have to take them. It's too much of a danger to leave them where our enemies could find them again, and they need to be questioned."   
I hurriedly spoke up, not wanting to have to carry one of those men on my horse. "Suzuno can ride with me, and you two can each take one of… them." I jerked my head in the direction of our victims. "My powers aren't good for restraining them."   
Suzuno nodded against Tatara. "Let's do that, can we _please_ get out of here?" Her voice wasn't shaking as much, but she still sounded nervous. I had a feeling it would clear up as soon as we left the place she was nearly killed.   
The arrow we'd pulled out of the blanket rested next to me, and I gently picked it up and inspected it. It looked expensive, well made, and almost perfectly balanced. Whoever had bought these had paid a lot of money for quality craftsmanship. And about the only rich people in Kutou right now were the lords, and only two of them were here now. Our prime suspects in our own front yard. I sighed and clenched my fist, nearly breaking the slender shaft. They would pay…   
Tokaki stood and brushed himself off, then walked over to inspect the captives. "If Tatara can make those vines stay on them while we ride, we can keep them out of it for a long while. Well, buddy? Can you?"   
"Of course I can." He raised one hand and made a quick gesture, and the vines uprooted themselves. Their free ends wrapped around the men's ankles, neatly tucking into the loops of vine-rope. Then he looked at me. "Subaru, do you have anything we can gag them with? I'd prefer not to listen if they start shrieking."   
"I might, let me check." I pulled my saddlebag over and opened it, rummaging around the interior. Something soft and unfamiliar came to hand, and I pulled out a roll of bandages. "How did those get there?"   
"How did what get there?" Tokaki called. I held up the bandages. "Who cares, they'll make good gags!" He swooped over to snatch the roll out of my hand, then returned to the men and quickly gagged them.   
"I could swear I didn't have bandages…"   
"The emperor must have put them in there." Suzuno said, calm at last. "He knows how much trouble Tokaki can make."   
I smiled. She could joke again. She would be all right. "Yeah, I bet you're right."   
"But now that we're ready, let's get going." Tatara stood, helping Suzuno to her feet. I nodded agreement and pushed myself to my feet, hauling the saddlebags and the blanket with me. Something tumbled off the blanket and landed with an almost imperceptible crunch in the leaves. The arrow's head glinted in the afternoon sunlight. I grimly picked it up, looking it over once more, then thrust it at Tatara.   
"Here," I muttered. "Please make it something beautiful again."   
He looked at the arrow, then nodded at me silently. I knelt and cleared away a few leaves, exposing a small patch of ground, then thrust the head like a shovel into the soil. Tatara stared at the arrow, and it began to glow with his special light. Small leaves grew out of the wooden shaft, and a flower bloomed from the tip, between the fletching.   
We quickly repacked the horses and slung our captives over the front of Tatara's and Tokaki's saddles. Suzuno joined me on Sora, clinging to my waist as we galloped from the clearing, leaving behind a reminder of a bad thing turned good.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Wandering aimlessly looking for four unspecified persons gets kind of old after awhile. We didn't find a town that night, and so set up a small camp under a large, spreading tree near a small hill that would keep the water off if it rained, which it looked like it might. Suzuno and I banished the guys while we changed clothing, then settled into our makeshift blanket-beds to talk for awhile. Her usual sunny disposition had returned, and she could look at the two men, still unconscious, that we'd laid on the other side of the tree.   
Tokaki and Tatara started a fire and I cooked a quick meal, a pan having been produced from one of Tatara's bags. The light was gone from the sky and the stars were twinkling by the time we'd finished, and we were all ready to try and get some rest. However, even after the calls of "oyasumi" had died from the air, I found it impossible to sleep. The hard ground, the strange clothing, the sounds of the horses, Tatara's light snoring (_I knew he had a fault,_ I thought) all combined to make my mind too active to stop working. I shifted restlessly in my blankets, trying to find a comfortable position, but nothing worked. I sighed and gave up, lying flat on my back with my head pillowed on my arms, watching the stars.   
"Can't sleep either, huh?" came a quiet voice. Tokaki's silhouette raised itself from his little cocoon, sitting straight up and looking in my direction.   
"Yeah." I sat up as well, bring my legs up against my body and resting my chin on my knees. "This is all so strange…"   
"Know what you mean." Tokaki disentangled himself from his blankets and stepped lightly over Suzuno, being careful not to wake her. "When I first got to the palace it took me awhile to get to sleep every night." He settled down next to me, gazing upwards as I had been. "Unfamiliar situations can do that to you."   
"How did you find out you were a seishi?" I turned my head so my cheek was on my knees instead, watching him, or at least his form. His face was mostly obscured by shadows and darkness, but his hair clearly showed, as I was sure mine did, and his strange hawk-like eyes almost seemed to gleam.   
"It's not really all that exciting, not like your story anyway."   
"I'd still like to hear it. What else are we going to talk about?"   
"Yeah." He trailed off into silence, and for awhile I was sure he still wasn't going to answer. "Well, the legend started circulating about five years ago, you remember that?" He went on as I nodded agreement. "I'd always been called Tokaki by my family, I'd always had my symbol, and I knew I could teleport. It was really handy for playing pranks." I giggled, it was easy to picture him using his seishi powers to make mischief. "We lived in the capital, in one of the poorer sections, and were some of the first to hear the legend when it escaped the palace. It wasn't hard to put two and two together and figure out that I was _the_ Tokaki. But I was just fourteen at the time, and I kept it quiet. My friends all knew me as Lanva, so I could live a pretty normal life without having random people showing up to watch the seishi in awe. Just my family knew, my mother and brother, and they didn't tell anyone. However, when I heard about a month ago that Byakko no Miko had shown up, I figured it was time to come out of hiding." His grin flashed as he remembered something. "I just stood up at dinner one night, said 'See you later,' and popped straight into the throne room. Then I threw one guard out the door… or through it, actually. And the emperor just laughed and welcomed me. See? Boring as hell."   
"Aww, I think it's cute." I giggled again. "Somehow it seems to fit you… except the keeping it quiet part. I expected something flashier there."   
"Sorry to disappoint you, but that's the way it happened. No one getting stabbed, no leopards trying to eat the miko, nothing. Just a guy in armor going through a door."   
"That part didn't surprise me."   
"Ne, what's _that_ supposed to mean?"   
"Just what it- shh!" I pressed a finger to my lips and pointed to our left with my other hand. "Something's over there," I whispered cautiously.   
I could just see his face grow grim as a small rustling of bushes came from the other direction as well. "There, too." His voice was even lower than mine. "I can't get them, they're too far apart. Can you tell what they are?"   
I shook my head. "My powers can't do that." It could only be harmless animals, but after the attempt on our miko's life that afternoon we were taking no chances. And with Suzuno and Tatara both asleep, we had one seishi out of commission and two easy targets. Another rustling came from behind us, rather high up, like it was in a tree. This was getting too eerie to be a sheer coincidence.   
"We've come for our companions. Tell us where they are, or you shall suffer the consequences."   
"We'll probably suffer them anyway," Tokaki muttered, then raised his voice to a moderate talking volume. "What companions? Who are you? Where are you from? Who sent you?"   
"Silence!"   
"How can we answer your question if you want us to be silent?" I called.   
"Impudent girl," a second voice growled. "We'll teach you to say things like that."   
"Not in front of me you won't," Tokaki said, nearly growling himself. I stole a quick look at him. His face was contorting in anger and his fists were clenching sporadically. "Just tell us what companions you mean and maybe we can tell you what you want to know."   
The first voice came again, and I pinpointed him as the one on the right. "The two men you had on your horses earlier. Where are they?"   
"Great, more spies from Taheiji," Tokaki groaned quietly. "Why haven't they seen them yet? We left them in plain view."   
"Maybe they also had orders to get us. Or they can't see them in the shadows, they were wearing dark clothing and Tatara's vines are dark green."   
"True." Once again he raised his voice. "I don't know where they are, but you should be able to find them easily. Our companions left them nearby."   
The second voice said something incomprehensible, and small crashing sounds started circling our tree, but stayed within the bushes so we couldn't see who or what was making them. "Now you two stay right there, or your friends die. We have three archers trained on you. Especially you, mister. We know what you can do. You can't possibly get all of us before we can fire at the others."   
Tokaki growled deep in his throat and slowly settled back to the ground, abandoning the fighter's stance he'd been trying to surreptitiously assume. I placed my hand on his arm to keep him there, trying to figure out something I could do to help, stop this from happening. But nothing came to mind, I was still too new with my powers and no words surfaced like they had when I'd seen Hiroya. The crashing continued behind us, as if the person was beating the bushes for the two men. Then…   
"DUCK!"   
We ducked. An arrow flashed over our heads, streaking into the bushes at almost unbelievable speed. There was a wet THUNK and a choked cry as it hit someone. The voice sounded like the second man. Wild yells were coming from the other three, surprised at this new attack. Tokaki took advantage of their confusion and disappeared from my side, and there was much thrashing in the bushes to my right for a few seconds.   
_Then_ the words came. "Time STOP!" I cried, raising my arms above my head and bringing them down violently.   
All noise ceased. I had reacted just in time, ten feet in front of me were two arrows that looked exactly the same as the one I'd planted, and pointed right at me. I slowly stood with a sense of wonder, crossing cautiously to the arrows hanging from nothing in mid air. One of them dropped to the ground when I touched it, apparently freed of the spell. I gave the other one a slight push, and it coasted in a downward arc to land in the ground five feet from me. "Wow…" The word seemed strangely empty in the literally still air.   
Nothing was moving. To my side Tatara was wide awake, but frozen as he tried to stand. Suzuno had her mouth open as if she was trying to ask something, her eyes wide. Neither of them seemed to breathe. All signs of Tokaki's fight had vanished; there were no screams of pain. I quickly touched Tatara, wondering what would happen.   
He fell over, unable to keep his balance after being Stopped. "What… what… what's going on? What happened? There was a fight- and there were arrows- and you were-" The poor man was utterly confused, and he looked it.   
"I stopped time… It stopped everything and everyone." I pointed at Suzuno to illustrate the fact. "But if I touch something it comes out of the spell."   
"Well… that's a useful trick. What happened?"   
"We were ambushed by the friends of those guys from earlier. They wanted them back. Tokaki couldn't do anything because they had to many men. Then this voice shouted 'Duck!' and we did, and an arrow appeared from nowhere and hit one of them… who did that?"   
Tatara shook his head and slowly stood. "It wasn't me… can you free Suzuno and Tokaki? I'll go look. What direction did the arrow come from?"   
"Behind us." He nodded and walked around the tree, while I knelt next to Suzuno and touched her arm.   
"-ra?!" She blinked and looked at me strangely. "Suba-chan, what happened?! Where'd all the noise go?"   
I sighed. "It's a long story. Tatara's in that direction, why don't you go ask him? I have to find Tokaki." She nodded and quickly stood, running after Tatara.   
Tokaki's hair was fairly easy to see in the light of the stars and moon, especially against the dark backdrop. He held a man, dressed as the other two had been, by the front of his shirt, arm cocked to punch him in the face. I willed my hands to be like iron and grabbed him by the wrists.   
He came to life in my grasp, trying to bring his fist down, prevented by the unexpected weight. "Damnit woman, let go of me! He deserves it!" Then he did a double take "Wait, where the hell did you come from?!"   
"I stopped time, let him go, he's not going to do anything unless I touch him, which I _might_ if you keep flailing around like that!" I wrenched my hands off his wrists with a huff of annoyance. "You and your overreactions…"   
"Well can you really blame me now?" He let go of the other man, who somehow stayed balanced on the back of his heels, his shirt staying in exactly the same folds.   
"Subaru! Tokaki! Over here!" Tatara's voice came from the direction he'd gone off in. Tokaki and I looked at each other, then sprinted towards it.   
"He's over here!" Suzuno's voice came as well, and we pulled to a stop next to them. We were about fifty feet from the tree - a short range for a good archer. In front of us was a boy on horseback, a bow in hand and arrow on the string, ready to pull and fire if he needed to. "I'd say this is our mystery archer."   
"'Bow'…" I said quietly.   
"Nani, Suba-chan?"   
I stepped up to the horse, touching it gently on the nose. It blinked its eyes and stamped a hoof, as if demanding I do something about its rider. The boy's clothes were rough under my fingers as I touched his ankle, wondering who he was.   
He moved slowly, lowering the bow and slipping the arrow into a quiver on his back, not looking at us. "Thank you, Subaru."   
I jumped and blinked. "H-How did you know my name?"   
He closed his eyes and smiled, lowering his head. "You are the Byakko no shichiseishi that controls time. My name is Toroki."   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Well Antigone, we got our wish. ~sits back and smirks with pleasure, grinning conspiratorially~   
Subaru: Kaze-chan, are you _sure_ you don't have mad dictatorial ambitions? In other words, are you _nuts_?   
Kaze-chan: I'm not nuts, I'm pecans! 


	6. Chapter 6: He's WHAT!

  
DICLAIMER: I am waaaaaaay too stressed and busy to come up with FY. Take that as you will.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I don't really have many notes for this one, as astounding as that may be. Oh yeah, one thing: I torture my poor characters. But hey, I can't help it! -_-()   
This chapter is for Selphine for my first-ever review (on anything!), and Lanen and Seth. You guys are so sweet! I wuv you all! ~glomp~   
  


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The five of us returned to our little camp, mostly casting glances at Toroki. He appeared a bit younger than me, but also a bit taller, and thinly built. His shaggy sandy-blond hair hung over his forehead and eyes, making him look like he needed a haircut. He didn't seem to watch anything as we moved, but continually stroked his horse's neck contemplatively. He seemed almost the exact opposite of Tokaki, and I wondered how the two of them would mix.   
At the tree Tatara and Tokaki went to retrieve the still-Stopped spies, dragging them mercilessly from the bushes. We laid them in a row near the fire, which looked like an eerie, frozen sculpture. It gave off neither light nor heat, and there were none of the comforting snaps and crackles of burning wood. But it seemed safe, although nothing could attack us, and our instincts led us to sit in a ring around it.   
"Now," Toroki said as he found a comfortable place on the grass, "I know you'll have some questions for me." He smiled as he said it, as if it were a private joke that only he knew.   
"Well, yeah. Like… I'm sorry for doubting, but are you _really_ Toroki?" Suzuno sounded a bit confused and helpless, which startled me a little. "You see, we've already had one or two fakes try to pass themselves off as seishi, we just need to be sure."   
Toroki nodded. "Don't worry, I understand." His slow movements as he got his legs under him and stood on his knees made me wonder if he was injured. If he was, I possibly had something that could help him. He pulled up his shirt on his right side to expose his rib cage. Shining palely there was the symbol for "turtle snout." I cast a glance at Suzuno, asking permission with my eyes, and at her nod crawled slowly over to him. I touched his symbol, and nothing came off on my fingers. The glow turned my skin pure white. No imposter would be able to fake that glow. "Gomen, just making sure."   
"It's alright, Subaru, I understand." He let his shirt fall and sat on the ground once more, and that's when I got my first clear look at his face.   
"Y-Y-You're…" I gasped.   
He nodded. "Yes, I am."   
"Yes you are what?" Tokaki asked, somewhat cynically.   
Toroki's head turned towards the sound of his voice. "I'm blind," he said simply.   
His eyes, nearly hidden by his hair, reflected a much brighter light than anyone else's. They were glazed over, the irises turned a pale, pale blue one never found in perfect eyes. Nearly white marbles in the tanned expanse of his face. It was a creepy and impressive picture all at once, one that spooked me a little.   
"You're _what?!_" Suzuno jumped up from her place next to Tatara and scrambled over, dropping to the ground next to me to peer closely at his face. "You… You really _are_…" She shook her head slightly. "Then how did you hit that man when you shot? Even I couldn't see him!"   
He grinned and laughed, making him look like the boy of sixteen he probably was instead of a wise old hermit. "It's part of my abilities as a seishi, miko. By the way, I know Subaru's name, but who else is here?"   
"My name is Suzuno, the one who said 'yes you are what' is Tokaki, and then there's Tatara."   
"Yes, and _then_ there's Tatara." Tatara grinned, giving Suzuno a good-natured needling. "Of course I'm here, I should _hope_ I'm here." She pouted at him, and he laughed. "Sorry Suzuno, I couldn't let the opportunity pass. Toroki," he said, reverting to a more serious manner, "you said that was _part_ of your seishi abilities. What all can you do?"   
"You're Tatara, right?"   
He started to nod, then remembered and cut himself off in mid-motion. "Yes."   
"Good, just trying to remember voices. I suppose because of my disability, Byakko gave me the power to sense where my fellow seishi and any enemies are, within a fairly small area. I think the farthest I can be is a hundred feet, but that's a pretty big distance. And since I can tell where they are, I can shoot at them. Which is how I was able to find that man, Suzuno, I could feel his presence and aimed at it." She nodded as well, not wanting to interrupt his story. "And I can see the future - sort of."   
"What do you mean 'sort of'?" Tokaki came over as well and knelt next to me, inspecting our new companion.   
"Well, I knew the legend. Who doesn't? And I knew I was one of them. Then last night I had a… vision, I guess you'd call it. I've had them all my life. It wasn't very specific, really hazy, but I could feel four friendly life forces and four opposing ones - six if you counted the two that were unconscious. The four awake had the 'good guys' trapped and unable to help themselves. I knew about where it was, and I knew I had to be there." He grinned up in our general direction. "So how close was I?"   
I had to laugh. "Exactly right, if you ignore the details. Thank you for coming, you saved us."   
"Just doing my job."   
I suddenly felt a pull on my body which seemed to drain a great deal of my energy, and lay back on the ground, pressing a hand to my forehead.   
"Subaru? Subaru, what is it?" Tokaki's face appeared above me. Was it my imagination, or did he actually look concerned?   
"I don't know… Just suddenly really, really tired."   
"Is time still stopped?" Toroki asked. "I remember hearing you yell that earlier, that was how I knew who you were."   
Tokaki groaned. "She's using too much power again, damn baka woman. Take off that spell before it kills you!"   
Tatara stood impatiently, a new vine sprouting at his feet, growing exceptionally long and curling most of itself into a coil at his feet, the free end resting itself in his hand. It really did look like it could be used as a whip, and a very effective one too. The whole scene was pretty strange to me, since I was seeing everything sideways. "Not yet Tokaki, we need to be ready for those three to start moving again. Come on." Tokaki nodded and stood, following Tatara over to our new prisoners. Toroki also rose to his feet, feeling along the saddle that was still on his horse to retrieve his bow and quiver, slinging the latter on his back and drawing an arrow. Tokaki raised an eyebrow at this, but as Toroki calmly made his way to stand next to the left of them, arrow pointed directly at the one on the end of the row, he just shrugged and dropped into a fighter's stance. Tatara stood ready with his vine whip. "Now, Subaru."   
It was strange performing the spell lying on my back, because everything appeared up and down to me but flat to everyone else. I lowered my hands to where they had stopped at the end of the last spell. "Time stop lift!" I cried, flinging my arms over my head.   
Then I promptly passed out.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
When I opened my eyes it was morning. I had somehow gotten in my blanket-bed and my head was resting on a pillow made of a saddlebag and my hair. There was a cool cloth on my forehead that I slowly brought my hand up to touch. Someone was sitting cross-legged next to me, whistling lightly. "Ohayo, Subaru." I managed to turn my head enough to see Toroki, seemingly staring off into space, a block of wood and knife in his hands and whittling by feel. "Are you feeling better?"   
"How did you know I was awake?" My voice was groggy, slow, as was my mind. I had really overexerted myself the night before.   
He grinned and set down the knife, keeping his fingers on it. "I could hear you moving. The other senses compensate for the loss of one."   
"That makes sense…" I slowly rotated my head the other way, and blinked in surprise when I saw Tokaki sprawled next to me, out cold. "What happened to him?"   
"Well it's kinda a long story…" He picked up the knife again, spinning the wood around in his other hand and beginning to knock off more small chips. "When those guys woke up, they were confused to say the least. It was fun to hear." He grinned. "But not really for children's ears. We had them covered, and they knew it, so they answered our questions."   
"And this has what to do with Tokaki?"   
"I'm getting there, I'm getting there. Turns out your theory was wrong. They weren't Kutou spies. They were simple bandits looking for a quick score. You four were almost sitting targets - and would have been if not for your seishi powers."   
"But… the arrows… they were all aimed at Suzuno!"   
He shook his head, his fingers never leaving the wood or knife. "Coincidence. You all were sitting close together, and their archer's perch just happened to be in that spot." I shut up before he proved me wrong again. Talking was beginning to seem like an unnecessary burden; it was quickly robbing me of my energy. "But you got them, and took them along. There was a third man there you didn't know about, and he told his friends all about what you three - or two really - could do. They decided to come rescue their men from the 'devils.' And then they surrounded you and I showed up and you know that story. They told us all that after you passed out."   
"Gaaaaaahhhhhhh… I always miss the good parts."   
He chuckled. "You shoulda heard Tokaki, he was going nuts last night after you went under. Sat next to you the whole time, Suzuno said he was just staring at you endlessly, like maybe you had a mind to mind connection and he was trying to reach you. He just fell asleep a little while ago, after Tatara and Suzuno left."   
"They're gone?" My hands were shaky as I braced them on the grass, then pushed myself up slowly. There was a painful crick in my neck that I carefully rubbed, already looking forward to those herbs. Sure enough, there were only two horses - Tokaki's and Toroki's. "Where's Sora?" I lay down again, not wanting to push my luck.   
"I think Suzuno's riding her. They're taking the thieves back to the capital to turn them in; none of the towns near here have a good enough way to deal with them. The way Tatara sounded he'd be all too pleased to tighten those vines very, very slowly over the entire trip. According to Suzuno, it looked like a mother duck and her chicks, but the chicks were in front. Tatara didn't want them to make trouble; they're walking all the way back - in front of the horses."   
I sighed. "Good…" As tired as my body was, my mind was becoming much too active for me to sleep. All the events of the previous day were beginning to overwhelm me, swirling like a whirlpool in my mind that went faster and faster. I blinked and sighed again, almost not feeling energetic enough to move much. "Ne, Toroki."   
"Hai?"   
"This might sound kind of strange, but… do you have any idea where the other seishi are? I mean, if you're clairvoyant, maybe…"   
His head turned in my direction, the near colorless orbs almost seeming to stare at me of their own will. I couldn't help a shiver that ran up my spine. Toroki seemed really nice, but his eyes… "Well… I didn't say this earlier, but I think I might. One of the visions - and I remember almost all of them - seemed to be a type of map, or like you were so high in the sky you couldn't see anything but expanses of brown and green and tan… and it all seemed so small somehow. But there were pinpricks of light, seven of them, in different places. There were two in the capital, one just outside, one to the south, one to the west, one to the east, and one to the north. All the lights were white, and amazingly clear… like what happened inside when my mark glowed." Toroki's somewhat juvenile voice was like a weaver's shuttle: it wove pictures of sounds and words that drew me in, let me see what he had "seen" for myself, as if I had been there with him. It was the type of voice, and he had the way of phrasing words, which would make any professional storyteller instantly jealous. It even took me a second to realize he'd stopped speaking momentarily. "Subaru, please remember that I only know what light and colors are through these visions, but I'm still luckier than any man in my state. I may not really have seen light, but I truly know what it is."   
There absolutely was no response to that. We sat in silence for a minute, neither disturbing the other. I watched him, wondering if he was envious of the rest of us, or perhaps… pitying. "Seven lights…" I said quietly. "The seven seishi."   
He nodded. "I certainly think so. That was about a year ago. I think it showed the locations of the seishi at that point. By now, of course, they could have moved, traveled, even left the country." He suddenly laughed heartily, once again becoming just a teenager. "But based on what the others were saying last night, it's more to go on then what you've got now!"   
My lips parted in a smile, and I began laughing, too. He was infectious whatever mood he was in. "Definitely, two words don't help a lot. And if you're right, then we only have three lights to go."   
Toroki stuck the knife in a belt sheath and got carefully to his feet, making his way over to the tree, where someone had piled all our things. "I think I could tell you where, too, if you could help me."   
"I can try… I don't know what help I could be in this condition though."   
"Don't worry, all you have to do is talk." He pulled something out of a bag and came back to me. It was a small bottle with a cork, and he felt around for my hand as he knelt. I touched his hand and he pressed the bottle into it, popping out the cork. "Here, soak that cloth again then put it back on your forehead, it'll make you feel better." I dragged the cloth off my head and onto the ground, sort of clumsily tipping over the bottle to make the water spill out onto its target. I growled at myself low in my throat. I was so damn _weak_ because I had been so _stupid_… Fortunately Toroki didn't seem to hear me. His fingers fumbled for the cloth, and when they found it he picked it up and carefully positioned it on my head again. "Feel better now?"   
Amazingly, I did. The coolness of the water began to seep into my skin, abating some of the pounding that was echoing around my skull. "Yes, thank you."   
"It's nothing. Now, Subaru. Where were you a year ago?"   
"In my hometown."   
"Where's that? North of the capital, south, east, west?"   
I realized what he was trying to do. If he could mark off places on that mental map of his, we'd at least have an idea of where to start looking for the other seishi. "It's to the west. I'm the one from the west."   
He nodded, almost as if he'd been expecting it. "Do you know where Tokaki and Tatara are from?"   
"Tatara no, but…" My thoughts jumped back to all Tokaki had told me the night before. "Tokaki comes from the capital."   
"And I'm in the south… It looks like the best places to look now are to the east and north."   
"Yeah…" I fell silent, staring up at the leaves that were dancing in the breeze that passed through the canopy. We had the fourth seishi. With his help, we'd probably have the others soon. After that Byakko would be called, and the wishes would be made and granted.   
So what would happen after that?   
Were we just going to be patted on the back, given an official thank you, and politely shunted back to wherever we'd come from? If the state of Toroki's clothes was any hint, he and his family, if he had any, were poor. Tokaki lived in basically a slum. And I… I really didn't have a family any more. Without my father's approval, I couldn't go back home. Were any of these lives we wanted to go back to after the adventure of being a seishi? _Could_ we go back to mundane, normal existences?   
These strange, uncomfortable thoughts were interrupted by Toroki's concerned voice. "Subaru? Daijobu ka?"   
"H-Hai… just thinking."   
"About what?"   
"How we're going to get back to the palace. If Tatara and Suzuno are already on their way there, and there's really another seishi in the capital, it makes sense to go back there and look for them. And from there it's easy to set out for any place else."   
"But…"   
I grinned sheepishly. "You knew that was there. But I'm in no condition to ride. I don't think I will be for awhile, at least not long rides."   
"Subaru, you're a seishi. I know for a _fact_ that we heal faster than normal people." He grinned again. "I've had a few accidents myself, you know. In my opinion you should be fine in about three days."   
I groaned. "Three _days_ of lying here doing nothing…"   
"With Tokaki here, are you so sure about the 'doing nothing' bit?"   
"Byakko, not you _toooooo!_"   
"Suzuno was right, that really is too easy."   
"Ne!"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The talk Toroki and I had wore me out enough to let me drift back to sleep. When I awoke a couple hours later, Tokaki was also up, running in all different directions so fast it was almost like he was using his powers. Toroki was calmly standing aside, saddling his horse by feel, while the horse stood complacently. The human whirlwind sped by twice more before he realized the change in me.   
"SUBARU! Gods above, damnit girl, you scared the shit outta me!"   
"Well excuse me for saving our lives," I said wearily.   
An overwhelming mass of blue and white suddenly grabbed me, and I was sitting upright, staring into Tokaki's shirt. "Don't _ever_ do that to me again, damnit, I nearly had a heart attack." His arms around my shoulders were the only things keeping me upright, and I gave into temptation just once, closing my eyes and leaning against his chest. I could faintly his heartbeat and the rhythm of his breathing as he sighed heavily. "Don't _ever_ do that to me again."   
"I'll try not to, it's not very fun for me either you know." My voice was muffled by his clothing, but I knew he heard me easily. There wasn't all that much distance between us.   
"Subaru no baka," he almost whispered.   
"I know, I know. What's going on? Why are you running everywhere?"   
He pulled back so I could see his face again. "We're going back. I'm taking you back, one at a time, horses included. We should get there before Tatara and Suzuno, actually."   
"Why one at a time?"   
"I, unlike you, seem to know my limits. There is no _way_ I could take everything and everyone back at the same time and not end up like you." He gave me a very pointed look. "So we're doing this in stages."   
"Okay, okay, just tell me when you're ready to go." He nodded and let me go, and I lay back, turning slightly on my side and curling up a little. The sounds of Toroki and Tokaki packing reminded me of my home; there was always something going on except in the middle of the night. The familiar noises once again lulled me into a half-sleep, but my mind could still keep track of their conversation, which I heard without comprehending.   
"Ne, Toroki, I got a question for you."   
"What is it?"   
"How'd you know what Subaru said last night? She speaks this really strange language when she does her stuff, no one understands her."   
"I don't know, I just knew what she said. Maybe it's got something to do with my powers though, it kinda fits the pattern."   
"Yeah."   
Their voices dropped off for a few seconds, and in my sleepy daze I wondered if maybe both of them could disappear at will.   
"Your turn, Tokaki."   
"What do you want?" He sounded distracted, like he wasn't paying attention to Toroki.   
"What's going on with you and Subaru?"   
Silence.   
"Tokaki?"   
Then there was a hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently. "Subaru. Ne, Subaru, time to wake up. You're going back now."   
My consciousness slowly came together again and I opened my eyes, all thoughts of their small conversations being lost in the recesses of my memory. "Ungh? Wha?"   
"I'm taking you back now, wake up." I forced my eyes to focus, and Tokaki came clearly into view once more. "That's right, wake up."   
"I heard you the first time…" I muttered, feeling somewhat annoyed. "Do I have to move for this?"   
"Eehhhh… no. But wait a second."   
"How do you expect me to do anything else?"   
"With you it wouldn't surprise me." He knelt on one knee next to me, watching me warily. "Now don't get all excited and try and hit me, all I'm gonna do is pick you up."   
"I don't think I _could_ hit you." I sighed and let myself go completely limp. "Let's just get this over with…"   
He nodded and carefully slid his arms under my shoulders and knees, lifting me, blankets and all, to lean against his chest as he stood slowly. "Toroki, you sure you can take care of yourself?"   
He huffed exasperatedly. "I've done it for _sixteen years_, I don't think a few minutes is gonna kill me. Go on, go on, you know I can defend myself better than her at this stage."   
"All right, I'll be back soon, just don't go too far from here."   
"Gotcha." I saw him playfully salute before his image faded away, blurring with the tress and bushes in the background and being replaced once again by white and silver and dark wood trim.   
The palace never looked so good.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
I was left alone for a few peaceful minutes right after Tokaki placed me literally _in_ my bed and pulled the covers over me, exactly as if I was a little kid again. But as soon as he'd brought Toroki, the horses, and our supplies back, they both invaded my room. They seemed to be rooted to their chairs around my table, talking idly while I drifted in and out of sleep. I awoke fully that evening when Tatara and Suzuno came in, and they occupied the other two chairs for one of my lucid half-hours before Inoue appeared, carrying food, and proceeded to throw them all out, seishi or not. Once she'd literally shut the door on Tokaki to keep him out, she fussed over me for a little bit, helping me sit up and eat the hot soup she'd brought. The large bowl of liquid and noodles seemed to restore more of my energy than all my sleep had, and after I was done we sat together, talking quietly about nothing at all. It was a pleasant, restful way to spend the evening, and I drifted off early, not even hearing her leave the room.   
But the next morning her arrival knock woke me, and once again she came bearing sustenance. She also brought a note from the emperor, which said he was sorry he hadn't come to see me yet and he wished me well in my recovery, and that we did well finding the fourth seishi so fast. It was a nice thought, and I was pleased to know he was thinking of me.   
Inoue was sitting, quiet and ladylike, in a chair and stitching a pattern on a square of cloth when I found the nerve to ask her why she'd been with me since we got back. I was worried she was skipping her other duties to tend to me, something that would surely get her in trouble sooner or later.   
To my surprise, she grinned bashfully, not grimacing as I expected. "When I heard of your return, Subaru-sama, my overseer would not let me come see you, so I had no idea of the state you were in. But when I found out from one of the hostlers, I went straight to the emperor and demanded to be allowed to look after you."   
I felt my face redden some, but smiled. "Thank you, that's very nice."   
"Oh, you're much more interesting than vegetables." We looked at each other and giggled.   
The doors burst open, banging on the walls, and a multi-colored rush burst through the opening. "Subaru! Subaru! We think we figured it out!" The mass quickly resolved itself into Tokaki, Suzuno, and Toroki, each of them looking, or the equivalent of, in my direction excitedly. Suzuno was bouncing on the balls of her feet, her pigtails jumping up and down a little, and Tokaki had that wide smirk on his face again. Toroki was carrying a rolled piece of thick paper in his hand, which he quickly gave to Tokaki. Tokaki plunked it down on the table and unrolled it, dropping small stones on the corners to keep it down. I peered in that direction as Inoue helped me stand and walk over to sit in a chair. Toroki had been right, I _was_ getting better much faster than a normal person would.   
The thick paper was a map, one I recognized from the meeting with heika-sama and Ebizo my first day in the palace. It showed the whole of Sairou and all its geographical features, and the location of the capital and several other major towns as well. I brushed my fingers over the small dot that represented the place I'd been born, then chased all thoughts of the past from my mind to concentrate on the present. "Figured what out?"   
"Y'know Toroki's vision, right?" Suzuno didn't give me time to reply. "We think we know where to guestimate the other seishi are with that and this!" She pointed triumphantly at the map.   
I looked at the map, then at Toroki. "How're you going to do this?"   
"I'm going to try and describe the locations of those lights and someone's going to try to mark them on the map. All we really need to mark are two, I got Tatara to tell me where he was, and one's in the capital."   
"Really? Where was Tatara? And where is he now?"   
"In some meeting or other with heika-sama. He was the one right outside the city, he did something unspecific out there." He grinned widely. "But it had something to do with plants. Are we ready to try this?"   
Tokaki bent over the map, holding small pebbles in his hand, ready to drop one at an approximate place. "Ready. At the least this should give us a town to base our search from in that area."   
Toroki and Suzuno both nodded, Suzuno staying silent. Toroki took a deep breath and closed his eyes, perhaps to help him concentrate. It was kind of spooky: he seemed almost to leave himself as he dove again into that year-old vision, his spirit leaving his body a shell. His voice, normally so rich, was almost a slow monotone. Sometimes it seemed like he was two different people, the spirited, fun-loving boy and the wise old leader all in one. "The lights in the south and west have been accounted for, as has one of the lights in the city and the one outside. I do not see them anymore. The fifth one is still in the capital. The sixth is to the north-northeast, near what I assume are mountains, in the hills at their base." He paused while Tokaki scanned the map, looking for towns and villages.   
"I got two here, is it in the high hills or low hills?"   
After a long moment of silence, Toroki said, slowly but firmly, "Low." Tokaki nodded and dropped a stone on the village labeled "Reisen". "The last is a bit more south than it was a year ago, and in the desert."   
"Stop right there, only one possibility." The other stone landed near the dot with "Kousa" written next to it. "Of course, they don't have to be in towns, but that's where we'll be as much as possible." He glanced up from the map at Toroki and frowned. "Hey, pal." Toroki was, for him, staring off into space, obviously not focused on the here and now. We'd gotten used to his eyes and the strange feel of his gaze, and had gotten fairly good at telling what he was trying to look towards. It was plain he was still caught in his powers. "Toroki, snap out of it!" Tokaki clapped his hands sharply by Toroki's ear.   
The younger seishi blinked and shook his head, then grinned apologetically. "Gomen, people need to wake me up from time to time when I do that."   
"Yeah, I noticed."   
I suddenly yawned, widely and loudly, much to my embarrassment. Suzuno gaped at me, then giggled. "I think we should leave you to your rest, Subaru. C'mon guys, out, out!" She gave Tokaki a friendly shove on the shoulder and took Toroki's arm, guiding him out past the furniture and through the doors, waving back cheerfully at me.   
"I'll come back when Demon Miko decides to let me go, Subaru!" Toroki called, making me chuckle. Suzuno bopped him on the head and he let out a yelp of surprise.   
Tokaki sighed at their silliness, which was pretty silly of _him_. I'd seen him act stupider than that more than once. "Take care of yourself, okay?" He gathered the stones and let the map snap back into its roll, sticking it under one arm and going outside, closing the doors behind him.   
"Subaru-sama?"   
I winced; I'd forgotten all about Inoue. "Hai?"   
"That gave me the chills."   
"I don't blame you."   
Somehow I doubted that was all she wanted to say. Her face was blank, but her eyes displayed an internal conflict. She brought her thumb to her mouth and bit the nail, then jerked the hand away as if she was trying to break a habit. She was sitting in one of the other chairs, her stitching spread across a lap that slowly shrank as she drew her legs in closer to her body.   
"Inoue," I said softly, "is something the matter?"   
"Oh no, no," she said much too quickly. "B-But, Subaru-sama, can I ask you a favor?"   
"What is it?"   
"Tomorrow is my free day. Would you come with me into the city? If you're strong enough?"   
"A-All right, I guess. What are you going to do?"   
"Probably shop."   
"Sure, that's fine, as long as I can find some place to rest every one in awhile."   
She sighed slightly in relief and smiled at me. "Arigato gozaimasu, Subaru-sama."   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Heh heh... I have way too much fun with Toroki. I didn't exactly plan him to have such a dual personality, but it's turning out really good for him and the story.   
Hopefully I'll have some more for you soon, I need TIME to write it! Right now I have to rush off to do a project and put gas in my car. I'm too busy to be insane! @_@ Weird... 


	7. Chapter 7: Even MORE Health Problems

  
DISCLAIMER: Je ne possede pas Fushigi Yugi. C'est Watase Yu. Je n'ai pas l'argent. Je _veux_ l'argent, est-ce que vous me donnerez quelques?   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Market 7! Whoever thought I'd write the _second_ chapter, let alone the _seventh_ when I lay down on the floor of my den that one Sunday night a few months back?   
Well, a couple people've been asking me about this (at least Waku-chan, at any rate). The Byakko don't show up 'til almost the end of the series. Their first real appearance is in episode 41 and the last in 44 (of a 52 episode series). I think that would put it somewhere around the tenth graphic novel. The only seishi you see during that time are Subaru, Tokaki, and Tatara, as it's been 90 years and all the others are dead. Hope that clears things up ~_~   
I wasn't real enthused about this chapter. It's crucial to the plot, but a lot of stuff ended up in there that I hadn't planned on. ~shrugs~ Ahh well, it fits, had to come in at some point.   
In good news, I finally got over writer's block on my other stories! Wai! Which meaaaaaans... the next Plots will be out soon! Hmm, wonder if anyone even REMEMBERS that story...   
And Chiri-kun ~grins~ You don't need to threaten me, I WANT to write this!   
  


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Despite being forced to keep to a moderate walk, I was greatly enjoying the "little outing to the market," as Toroki had jokingly put it. It was only myself and Inoue, no miko, no other seishi, and I was taking the opportunity to behave like a normal girl once again. I was wearing my own clothing, not the slightly tight travel things Tomomi had given me, and was infinitely more comfortable than I had been. Inoue was next to me, nearly unrecognizable without her normal servant's garb of pure white, but still pretty with her long hair down and a pale pink skirt sweeping around her feet. There was a flush of pale color of nearly the same shade in her cheeks, making her look more alive and healthy. She frequently ran ahead of me to curiously examine something, calling for me to hurry up, hurry up and see what she'd found. I was happy to see her behaving exactly like a normal teenager; she seemed more like a characterless doll when she was in the palace than most of the dolls did.   
The market spread farther than any I'd seen before, and I'd seen most of the ones in my province. The wide dirt streets were lined end-to-end with stalls, and the people were packed in the space left over. Inoue was small enough that she could wriggle through with little trouble, but since I was one of the tallest women I knew it was a bit harder for me. My feet also wouldn't respond to my directions as quickly as I wanted them to, so more often than not I just let the crowd push me in the direction Inoue had run.   
"Su- Doulin-san! Doulin-san, come here!" I saw Inoue's arm waving above the crowd at one stand across the street, something glinting in the sun. I'd convinced her to call me Doulin for the outing, certain that the name "Subaru" would potentially cause a minor stampede. The names of the seishi - Tatara, Tokaki, Subaru, Toroki, Kokie, Karasuke, and Amefuri - were all well known with the legend, as were the circumstances behind their appearance. If one of them suddenly showed up, even on an innocent shopping trip, then people would know that something bad was coming. Something they couldn't stop. I pushed the morbid thoughts from my mind and stepped into the traffic, the current carrying me a few feet past Inoue before I could escape, breathing a little hard. I still wasn't fully recovered, although everyone agreed that by the next day I'd be myself again.   
The proprietor's eye stayed lazily on Inoue as she ran to me from his stand, arms in front of her, hands together, and fingers splayed. "Isn't it pretty, Sub- Doulin-san?" Draped over her fingers was a thin necklace made of a dull gold-colored metal. Five small dark pendants, one larger one in the middle and two on either side, hung off the chain. It was simple yet elegant. And neither one of us could afford it.   
I smiled. "Yes, it's very pretty. But I think that man would like it back if you aren't going to buy it." I pointed in the direction of the merchant, who was now giving us the death glare. Inoue took one look over her shoulder and blinked rapidly, then winked at me and ran back to the man.   
"Here! Thank you!" She quickly deposited the necklace in his hands and trotted off, leaving behind a very confused merchant - and me.   
I pressed myself against the wall and inched down the street to avoid being squashed, watching carefully for Inoue. I saw her a few stands up, buying what looked like food. A heavy-set woman blocked my view for a second, and when she managed to get past, Inoue popped up in the place she vacated before me, smiling and holding out an orange. "Here! This will help you get your strength back, Doulin-san."   
I smiled gratefully at her. "Arigato. You must be able to work magic to get through these crowds!" I dug into the rind with my fingernails, managing to gouge a little hole and begin peeling the rest of it back. "You leave me behind every time!"   
She should her head, smiling. "No magic, just long practice." Her smile flipped over and her eyebrows narrowed, and she stood on tiptoe to look me straight in the eye. "You look pale."   
"I-It's okay, I've been looking pale for the past two days, I'm fine really!" I leaned back a little, slightly unnerved by the small girl pretending to be my mother. Never mind the fact that I _was_ a little tired and probably looked it. It was _strange_ to see her so controlling.   
She put her feet flat on the ground again, grabbed my hand, and dragged me into a small courtyard just up the road. No stalls were set up, and there were only a few people in there, taking a rest like she insisted I do. I was sat down on the top step of a small store and given her orange as well, and she kept a hawk's eye on me as I ate, despite my protests that I felt fine.   
I quickly got off the topic of my health when I was finished eating, knowing she wouldn't give in and I didn't have the strength to fight her. "Sit down yourself." I patted the step next to me. She glanced down, a worried, would-it-be-right sort of look passing over her face, then appeared to shrug it off and plopped down eagerly. "You're so much different outside the palace, it's slightly strange," I confessed. "Why the big change?"   
She didn't answer me right away. Instead she looked down, her face becoming vulnerable and innocent once again, drawing her foot back a little along the ground.   
I'd hit a nerve.   
This was something big, or at least important to her, that I'd stumbled upon accidentally. But _what_ did I upon stumble? All right, my fatigue was showing, I was starting to think funny.   
"Inoue-chan?" I said softly. Her head snapped up at the new term. "What is it?"   
"What's what?" She was clearly trying to buy herself some time.   
I felt terrible for pushing it this far, but I had to continue. The dual-personality thing was not good for a person unless they naturally had it, like Toroki, and this definitely wasn't one of those times. "What makes you so shy at the palace?"   
She looked down again, her hand drifting down to trace invisible patterns on the stone steps. "N-Nothing, Su- Doulin-san."   
"You really think I'm going to believe that?" Despite my words, I spoke gently. "Today you've been so lively and happy and energetic. When I first met you, you seemed more like a mouse than a girl. You've gotten better, but still…" I put a finger under her chin, being reminded strongly again of Masame, and tilted her head up so she couldn't help but face me. "What makes you so shy?" Still she didn't answer. "C'mon, you can tell me."   
Her entire body shuddered as she sighed heavily. "I know… but still…" She cast her eyes away for a second, then focused them back on me. "Promise you won't tell?"   
I nodded. "My word as a…" I dropped my voice to a conspiratorial whisper and glanced around suspiciously. "Seishi."   
She giggled slightly before turning serious again. At least she could laugh. "I want to say, first off, that heika-sama has _nothing_ to do with this. He wouldn't cause anyone pain and would punish those that caused it, he's been nothing but good to me-"   
"Shh, I understand." I smiled. "I'd probably say the same thing, as a matter of fact. But he must not know about this then, right?" I folded my hands in my lap.   
She nodded. "No one does. Everyone just assumes I'm small and quiet and ladylike, what a servant's supposed to be. And I am! But…" My lips stayed shut. Now she had to come out with this on her own. She had to be strong enough to talk about it. "Some of the ladies…… and a few of the men…" I noticed she didn't say "nobles" and made a mental note to find the guards or other servants she was referring to. "Some of them… they're… not as nice as you and heika-sama and the other seishi and the miko are."   
"How?" I scooted over next to her, my older sister instincts taking over, putting a comforting arm around her shoulder.   
"They… say things to me, and… do things." Her face flushed brilliant scarlet, as red as the god of Konan, Suzaku. "That's all."   
My eyes narrowed dangerously at whoever did that to her. That was _not_ all, and they would get a little payback. "Inoue-chan, what did they do?"   
"Some… hit me. Mostly the women. Or pinch me hard, so I get bruises. A few of the… men have tried to… kiss me or touch me places. It never really happens, but…" She refused to look at me, the flush deepening, wrapping her arms around her knees.   
I couldn't believe it. Going after me, a woman who could defend herself, was one thing, but a girl just trying to do her work? Inexcusable. I pulled her into a tight hug, ignoring her small yelp of surprise. "Inoue-chan, promise me you'll go straight to the emperor about this when we get back, this needs to be stopped. PROMISE me," I stressed when she began to protest.   
"But… Subaru-sama, it will be my word against the nobles! And the guards! There's no way in all of Byakko's kingdom he'll believe me over them! I-I haven't even been there that long!"   
"Oh, he'll believe." My eyes narrowed again, and hers widened in shock at my fierce expression. "Tell him to ask _me_ if he needs proof. Seishi are more powerful than even nobles - literally."   
She stared at me for a second, then another, as my gaze softened back to normal. Then happily I was rewarded with her grin and a quick hug. "Arigato, Subaru-sama." She hopped to her feet, surprising me with her quick recovery, and held out a hand to help me up. "Let's go, I want to show you something."   
"Oh? What?" I accepted the hand gratefully and pulled myself to my feet, briefly closing my eyes to abate the minor dizzy spell that came over me. My emotions had been too intense to keep my recovery going, it seemed.   
"Someone I know. I think you'll like him." She grinned teasingly and took off before I could gasp out a _what the hell does that mean?!_   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The streets got narrower as we went further and further from the center of town, where the market was, down a gentle slope away from the high point of the city, where the palace was, and farther towards the outskirts. The buildings became less gaudy, less imposing, more friendly.   
I rubbed my eyes, making sure not to let Inoue see. Maybe she was right to worry about me, even the _buildings_ were getting personalities in my tired eyes.   
The people had thinned out a lot when she made a sharp right and led me down a somewhat narrow alley in what looked like a quiet residential section. It reminded me a lot of the place in my town where my own house was located; even the people seemed to be of the same variety - a lot of families, children, a calm atmosphere over them all. It was almost like there was a completely different city in the capital. I loved the outskirts.   
"Inoue? What are we doing here?" I dodged a stray barrel someone had left in the alley, somewhat puzzled as to why we were so far from the palace. She'd said she wanted me to meet someone, but what someone…?   
"Silly, I want you to meet my friend. It's not much farther…" she jumped an old crate like a mountain goat and looked back at me, her eyebrows coming together in a crease. "Hmm… might want to have you rest before that, you don't look good."   
"If you make me rest one more time I'll freeze you _in_ it." I grinned. "I can rest when we get there, as long as it isn't far."   
She giggled. "Nope, not much. Two or three more streets."   
"Then I can hold out, let's get going." She nodded and we continued, although a bit slower than before.   
Two turns and a few minutes of walking later, Inoue stopped before a low building with a wide door and a large yard, especially for the city where land was scarce. There was a horse running across the grass, kept in by a wooden fence that separated the yard from the street and the buildings next to it. The building itself looked to be mostly house, but the east wing was definitely something else. A strange, rhythmic clanging was coming from within, something I'd never heard before and couldn't identify. The sound didn't seem to bother the horse or Inoue, who pushed open the gate set in the fence and walked right inside, pausing briefly to rub the horse's nose and whisper to it. I followed, a bit slowly, closing the gate behind me and trying to look around and see everything in this strange place.   
I heard Inoue giggle, then raise her voice in answer to my unasked questions. "Subaru-sama, this is where I lived before going to work at the palace. Everyone here will like you, and you'll probably find this interesting."   
Interesting? What was she talking about?   
That question, however, was not responded to. Inoue trotted across the yard and opened the door quickly, stepping in and disappearing from my sight. I carefully placed my feet on each of the three steps leading to the low terrace and followed her through the door.   
The boards in the floor were somewhat rough, but worn with age in places, making pale paths to other parts of the house. There was no upper story, and no staircase leading to it, but three other doors along the corridor the front door opened onto were what seemed to be bedchambers. There was also a main social room, decorated with small tables and cushions, a small dining room, and at the back, a kitchen. "Inoue?" I called, looking around the small but serviceable kitchen.   
"I'm in here!" Her voice came from further back along the corridor, and I retraced my steps to one of the bedrooms.   
The door was mostly closed, and I knocked sharply with my knuckles, waited for an acknowledgement before I entered. The room was filled with sunlight from two large windows covered with thin screens, and sticking out into the middle of the floor was a bed. Inoue sat on the edge of the bed, talking energetically to the man lying under its covers. He appeared to be about fifty or so, and healthy, if a bit tired. I didn't know why he was lying there like an invalid, but he coughed softly and it became clearer. The cough was clouded and dry, a sign of severe sickness. It sounded like something was wrong with his lungs, but he still managed to muster a smile at the girl perched on his bed.   
"Uncle, this is S- Doulin-san. She's with me at the palace now." I silently thanked her for not saying just WHY I was at the palace. "I wanted her to meet you."   
I bowed respectfully, the word "uncle" flitting through my mind. Where were her parents? "It's a pleasure to meet you."   
The man's eyes, a clear green, rose from his niece to me and he smiled kindly. "Welcome, Doulin-san. The pleasure is all mine. Please, have a seat." He motioned to a table complimented by two mismatched chairs that stood near the wall. I picked up one of the chairs and carried it to the bed, placing it near Inoue and sitting gratefully. "Excuse me for saying, but you're not looking well. Perhaps we should ask Inoue-chan for some tea…"   
"Oh no, no, I'm perfectly all right, just a little tired." But it was too late, Inoue was looking at me. _Again._   
"Uncle's right, you need to rest and have something to drink. I'll be right back." She hopped off the bed and zipped out of the room in the direction of the kitchen.   
I glanced at the man in the bed and looked down at the floor, my fingers lacing themselves together in my lap. I was staring to act like Inoue, and she was starting to act like me. It was _strange._ A lot of things so far had been _strange._ Did a change of scenery change everything else that much?   
"So, Doulin-san, how long have you been at the palace?"   
The old man's voice startled me back into the thinking world. "Only a few days… Gomen ne, Inoue-chan never told me your name."   
"You may call me Tsurmura-san," he replied, smiling again. "Just like my niece to forget half the introduction. She can sometimes be a bit scatterbrained."   
"Oh, she's very nice to me. Almost over-protective at times. And she never forgets anything."   
"I never said she wasn't anything but good." The smile flickered, being overshadowed by a look of sadness as Tsumura-san glanced at the door. "What with her parents being gone and her having to go to work at fourteen… she's had to grow up very quickly, perhaps too quickly." The sadness was again chased away by the smile, directed at me. "But she's making friends, that's always good."   
"Her… her parents are dead?"   
He nodded silently. "Killed in a fire two years ago. They came to live with me then, and I tried to raise them as best I could, but I never married and didn't really know how to deal with children. Thankfully they're both stable young adults and can take care of themselves almost, but even so…" He trailed off, staring morosely out the window.   
I cleared my throat hesitantly. "Excuse me, but did you say 'they'?"   
He nodded again, gaze still on the window. "I did."   
"Who are 'they', Tsumura-san?"   
"Inoue and her ototo, Joji. My brother's children. I take it you didn't know she had a sibling." I shook my head slightly. "She does, and he works hard. He's taken over my business for me almost, and with only one of the men staying to help him. That's why Inoue-chan works at the palace now. We need the money, the work we do doesn't earn enough by itself, especially lately."   
The door opened again and Inoue walked carefully in, expertly balancing a full tray stacked with tea, cups, tealeaves, and all the trimmings in her right hand. I jumped up and took the tray from her, ignoring her protests and setting it on the table, preparing the cups and leaves myself. I refused to listen to Inoue's protests that _she_ was the hostess so it was _her_ job to prepare the tea, and was rewarded by a slightly astonished and pleased look when she took a tentative sip of my tea.   
The thought that she was scared it would be horrible crossed my mind, and instead of wanting to hit whoever would think that, this time I merely giggled silently, amused by the prospect. It was natural: she did that job nearly every day of her life, while she didn't _know_ what kind of training I'd received in the feminine arts. I was a seishi, after all. I couldn't blame her for being a bit skeptical.   
"You never told me you had a brother," I said casually as I resumed my place in my chair, Inoue her spot on the bed, Tsumura-san propped up comfortably with pillows behind his back and head.   
She smiled. "You never asked."   
"Inoue-chaaaaaaaann…"   
"I give in, I give in! But you didn't. And we never really had a chance to talk about our families. Something always seemed to get in the way." She shrugged, but I knew just what she was talking about: seishi duties or consequences of such duties. "Would you like to meet him?"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
A small corridor, barely tall enough for me to walk through upright, connected the kitchen with the east wing I'd seen when I walked in. The clanging sound, nearly unnoticeable in other parts of the house because of the thick walls, resonated here with an echo that drove beats into my skull. It seemed to be going faster than before, nearly feverishly, without stop. Inoue turned and pressed a finger to her lips, telling me to be quiet, and we both peeked around the corner of the wall.   
There was a boy there, just a bit taller than me but much more heavily built, which I attributed to two years of work. It was he who was making the clanging sound. The room he was in was dark except for the daylight spilling in the door and the blaze from a giant fire in the large, solid fireplace along the opposite wall. There was also a thick wooden table with large, sturdy legs in the corner, and at the moment the boy was there, his back to us, hitting something with a hammer he held in his right hand. It glinted in the firelight as it reached the apex of its swing and came crashing down again. He shifted position and in front of him I could now see a long piece of metal, glowing dull red. He put down the hammer and slid the length of metal into the fire, heating it.   
"He's very busy today, Uncle said they received three new orders," Inoue whispered in front of me. "That means three new swords, and _soon_."   
I nodded, beginning to understand. Their uncle was a metal worker, and this place was his forge. But when he'd gotten sick, his nephew had begun working to earn the money his uncle had. It was a good reason for giving up childhood, if you had to. "I thought he had a helper though, that's what your uncle said."   
"It's one of his off days."   
I nodded and returned to watching, fascinated with a process I'd never seen before. Joji withdrew the metal from the fire and brought it back to the table, picking up the hammer again and rapping it sharply. What I could see of the white-red metal bent easily, then straightened as he hit it once again. I noticed he was working without a shirt, and I could hardly blame him; the heat was beginning to get to me and he was right next to the fire.   
Then he glanced at the hammer in his hand, shook his head, and threw it forcefully behind him - straight at us. I couldn't stop a little scream from escaping and trying to duck, but it went to the right of us and thudded against the wall.   
It didn't hit the floor.   
Instead a new hammer, smaller than the one he'd thrown, appeared out of nowhere to our left and flew right at him, no flips, spins, or turns, straight as an arrow, to land right in his open hand still positioned above his shoulder. He quickly closed his fingers around the handle and began whacking the metal again, but I could scarcely be less interested than I was at that moment.   
Because on his left shoulder blade, glowing like white fire, or white-hot metal, was the symbol for "stomach."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"Doulin-san! DOULIN-SAN!" Inoue yelled, running up to me seconds later. I was no longer in her house, but I had no recollection of having traveled from there to where I ended up, two blocks up the street near an inn. "Doulin-san! Please, calm down!" She grabbed my arm to keep me from retreating further in shock. "Onegai! Onegai!"   
"I… He… He's got a… He's a _seishi!_ He's a SEISHI! Oh Byakko…"   
"Iya, Subaru-sama, don't faint! Don't faint! I'd be in so much trouble if you did!"   
I pressed my free hand against the wall of the inn, leaving heavily on it and Inoue, bracing myself to keep upright, breathing hard, trying to overcome the shock to my system. _Stupid stupid STUPID!_ I shrieked at myself. _"Fire" and "forge!" "Fire" and "forge!" Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh, Subaru no DAMN BAKA!_ How could I not have seen it?! The set up, the clues, Toroki's vision, it was all so apparent now! Somehow, that boy was a seishi. Which meant he had to come to the palace with us and protect Suzuno. I had to go back there and ask him to come with us. It was my duty as a seishi.   
But duty and health were warring, and at the moment health was winning. The shock had been too much for my still-frail body, as had the running afterward, which I had to have done. I was collapsing, leaning more on Inoue, my hand sliding down the wall as I slowly sank to the ground, my consciousness seeming to waver for a moment.   
"Subaru-sama!" Inoue called my name once again, pulling me back to my feet and half-draping me over her. "Listen to me! You are _not going to collapse!_ We're going back to the house, you can collapse there, here you'd get all covered in mud!"   
It was so inane it was funny. I giggled quietly at her comment, and fought to keep myself awake the two blocks back to her house.   
The gate had been left open and it still swung slightly on its hinges. Inoue gave it a kick to open it and half-dragged me through. I barely registered the fact that Joji, or whatever his seishi name was, was now standing in the yard, holding the horse by the mane and watching us with concern and worry as his sister helped me into the house. She dragged me down the hall to one of the other bedchambers, that was decorated in a more feminine style than anywhere else in the house, and lay me down gently on the bed, fluffing the pillows beneath my head. "Subaru-sama, I think I owe you an explanation…" Her tone was once again timid, mousy, and I had the uncomfortable feeling that she was going to bow.   
"You better believe you do," I murmured. "Just start at the beginning, I'm listening."   
She nodded quickly and sat on the end of the bed, fiddling with the hem of her skirt in her fingers. "It all started two years ago, when… you know. Uncle said you did. It was night, and someone had left a candle burning on accident, and our house cat knocked it over. It started this fire. Our parents got caught in it while they were just waking up, and we were trapped in our room by the smoke and the flames. Neither of us was brave enough to jump out an upper-story window, we still thought Dou-san and Kaa-san would come and save us." Inoue's voice was steady, in control, but I could see the glisten of tears touch the corner of her eye as she continued with the story. "No one came. Then we heard these snapping, groaning sounds above us, and the roof started to fall on us. The fire had burned the support beams. We both screamed and dropped to the floor, covering our heads with our arms, waiting for the tinder and burning wood to hit us. Instead there was this tremendous, long crash, not two feet above us, and though we felt the vibrations we weren't struck ourselves. When we dared to look up there was this ceiling of metal above us, holding back the roof. And not metal-metal, random pieces of worked metal. Things that had been close by, especially, like the statue that had been just down the hall. And then Joji-kun passed out, and stayed like that for four days. Uncle took us in after they dug us out the next day, helped me nurse Joji-kun back to health. He knew what it was, and so did we, because I had seen the white mark on his back before he'd fainted. His powers saved our lives… But we were scared we'd be separated, and so none of us ever told. And then I heard the seishi weren't that… honorable. Which is complete lunacy, of course," she added quickly as my eyes narrowed, "but some people choose to believe it." Her eyes hid themselves as she tilted her head down in apology, nearly closing. "Gomen nasai, Subaru-sama, I wanted to tell. But last month when I came home I told him about the miko and two seishi being at the palace, and he got scared. He made me promise not to tell anyone, he didn't want to 'go to war' and fight. He wanted to stay here, working peacefully, watching over Uncle. He's… he's not like you other warriors. You're all so alive, so vibrant, so… and so is he, but in a different way… Gomen."   
"I understand," I said quietly. "You were just watching out for your brother, it's all right. But." I made my voice get harder, more forceful. "But he _has_ to come with us. Without him, we cannot complete our mission. We cannot summon Byakko. I hate to say this, but without him one of us might die. Something he can do may save our lives." I frowned, finally remembering an important question. "By the way, what _can_ he do, besides make hammers fly?"   
"It's not exactly that… the closest we can think of is metal does what he wants it to, even flying in midair like a bird to get to him. You saw." I nodded unhappily, remembering my overreaction. "That's part of why he's such a good metal-worker, but he still loves the job." She sighed. "He's only fourteen… are you _sure_ you can't go without him?" She looked at me plaintively, seeking a last hope.   
I shook my head. "Iya. We might be able to for awhile, yes, but someone with _that_ ability… well, let's just say that would be very useful in combat. But…" Tokaki was going to kill me for offering this, but I knew Joji would see reason and come with us. "But if he wants to, he can probably stay here until the actually summoning."   
She nodded reluctantly. "It's the best we can do, I suppose…"   
"Just one more question."   
Inoue watched me expectantly.   
"What's his seishi name?"   
"Kokie."   
"Kokie…"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
After sleeping for an hour to recover from my overexertion, I returned to the forge, bolstering my confidence and courage. Was this how it had been for Tokaki when he'd asked my own parents to let me come? Was he really shaking like a scared leaf under that controlled exterior? Inoue stayed back as I walked slowly into the forge under my own power.   
Kokie was still working that same piece of metal with the same smaller hammer. As I got closer I could finally tell the color of his hair: black, like his sister's. I stood silent in the middle of the floor until he noticed me as he turned to do some task and his face creased in a frown. "Are you all right, miss? I saw nii-chan bring you inside earlier…"   
I nodded. "I'm fine, I'd just received a… a shock and didn't feel well. But I have a question I need to ask you."   
"What is it, miss?" I could now see his eyes: the silver of metal.   
I swallowed a bit nervously, then stood up straight and looked him in the eye. "Would you come to the palace with me, Kokie?"   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: For anyone who thought Inoue was a seishi, I go "ha ha" at you. Ha ha!   
~grins~ Seriously, I never meant for her to be a seishi. In fact, she wasn't supposed to have as great a part as she's getting, but I liked her character too much to just get rid of her. And at the same time I couldn't figure out a way to get Kokie in, so when I got this idea I jumped at it ~_~ It works pretty well, all in all.   
And I didn't tell ANYONE about that. I refuse to spill anything about the seishi coming up, not even to Mouse-chan. Even SHE thought Inoue was a seishi. So don't feel left out! ~_~   
One last thing. The next chapter might take me a little more time, as I'm trying to work on my other things as well. For the past two/three weeks I haven't really written anything BUT Market, and the other stuff's gathering dust. Time to brush it off and get to work again! Ja! 


	8. Chapter 8: What Now?

  
DISCLAIMER: My total monetary worth right now is somewhere around $19.67, if Dad pays me back like he's supposed to. If I owned FY I'd have a heck of a lot more moola... and consequently more books, more DVDs, a car that actually WORKS, a better computer...   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm all excited about this! All haaaaaappy! I finally got around to looking at Tasuki no Miko's manga translations, especially dealing with turned-young Suba-chan and Tokaki. And (hee hee hee!) it looks like she really does whack him! Now, I can't be entirely sure, since of course she's only got the words, it's a bit hard to be sure, but it goes something like this (all credit due to Tasuki no Miko, who I now worship!):   
Subaru: I can use a spell to return our youth! _Kaze-chan's note: I think that's the point where we see a full-body pic of Subaru_>   
Tokaki: Mama is sexy! _Neither he nor Tasuki have any "derikashii"... sad_>   
BASH   
Subaru: Let me see Miaka-chan!   
So am I just insane or does it make sense? HE GETS HIT!!! FOR SAYING SOMETHING PERVERTED ABOUT HER!!!!!!! Soooooooooooo happy... ~_________~   
Sorry for the incessant break on this... Christmas hiatus was a good two weeks plus, and I've been kind of busy in school... but I've posted other things in the meantime! If you like angst/drama stuff then check out "Four Plots", which I finally finished! Or if you want random humor that doesn't make sense to a lot of people try "Just a Typical Rehearsal" (it's all about the theatre ~_~). And I've started posting the first fic I ever wrote, the first few chapters of which I'm cringing at now. It's (yet another) reincarnation fic, although I hope it doesn't have many of the stereotypes in it, and the writing's... not as good. It was Before I Found My Style. Not good -_-()   
But what are you still reading these things for? Get on with the real reason you're here! ~_~   
  


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The only sound in the room was the crackling of the fire. Kokie could only stare at me, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, in total denial of the fact that _someone knew_. The hammer in his fingers slowly slipped out of his ever-loosening grasp, and fell to the dirt floor with a tiny, dull thud, kicking up a small brown cloud.   
I felt like the cruelest person in the world, but there was no putting this off. He had to know the truth, and I had to know his answer. "Kokie, would you come to the palace with me?"   
His mouth opened a little further, then closed somewhat, trying to find words to express the shock clearly running over his face. "Wh… Who… Who are you?"   
I looked behind me, at Inoue, who was sagging weakly against the doorway to the hall to the kitchen, watching us with tearing eyes. My eyes begged forgiveness from her, and she nodded minutely, giving me permission. I turned back to her brother and drew a deep, shaky breath, not sure what this newest shock to my system would do to my health. I closed my eyes and concentrated, feeling the white fire filling me, comforting me somehow, chasing away the pain I felt from asking this family to tear itself apart. I felt the glow rise to my skin, spilling out of my symbol, and indeed out of my whole body somehow, lighting the room to the brightest it had probably been in years.   
I heard a strangled gasp and opened my eyes. Kokie was staring at me still, eyes wider than ever, trembling slightly. I made myself push on. "I am Subaru."   
"Su… baru…"   
"Kokie, I'm sorry, but I have to ask you this, and you have to answer me." Not wanting to risk it, even though I felt fine so far, I let the white fire die, recede back to its niche in the back of my soul where I could barely feel it, but always know it was there. "You are a seishi. So am I. There are three others waiting at the palace, and our miko as well. They… They're all very nice people, some of the best you can imagine. They'd very much like you to come and meet them."   
"And I wouldn't be able to leave after I did, isn't that right?"   
He had grown stronger; his resolve had returned to him. He really wasn't all that big, probably weighed less than me for all the muscle he had, and couldn't have been more than an inch taller than me, but he seemed somehow older. Maybe it was the sheen of sadness that now covered his eyes, barely reflected in the flickering light of the fire. This boy had been through too much in his short lifetime.   
And here I was, putting him through even more. "Kokie, I…"   
He interrupted me gently, but firmly. "It's true. The seishi are gathering, Byakko will be summoned soon. You need me to accomplish it. So once you have me, you won't let me go."   
I hung my head slowly. He was right. Tokaki and Tatara and Toroki might be some of the nicest men in the world, but they were concerned about their country. They'd weigh one person, seishi or not, even themselves, as less of a loss than the country.   
But I was truly my mother's daughter, and she'd raised my siblings and me to believe that the country was important, yes, but it was _people_ who did things to change the present and future. Single people, groups, mobs, they were still people, with thoughts and feelings all their own, no one more precious than the next because of birthright or anything stupid such as that. And at that moment I couldn't see a seishi in front of me, but rather a boy, scared but bravely standing up to a threat to his family.   
"I'd be there, in luxury. And so, in a way, would my sister, but my uncle would still be here, alone, with the business failing."   
"Kokie, I…" A picture of Tokaki's angry face seemed to appear before my eyes, but I took a deep breath and shooed it away, plunging on. "I'm prepared… to let you stay here, not tell them about you… until we need you. Until we find the other two seishi, and we absolutely _have_ to have you to summon Byakko, I'm… I'm willing to forget you exist."   
He watched me, silent.   
I had to try one last time, he _had_ to come with me, everything would work out and everyone would be happy, I knew it… "But… But _please_, Kokie, just consider it. The emperor is one of the most wonderful men I've ever met, I'm sure he'd help you and your uncle if it was asked of him."   
His mouth drew into a grim line and he shook his head slowly, as if reaffirming his decision to himself as well as me.   
"I told you he wouldn't do it," said a soft voice in my ear, and I looked down to see Inoue beside me, watching her brother as he turned back to his table. "He's too concerned with Uncle to leave him. He has a big heart."   
I nodded. "Yes… he does."   
"Subaru-sama?"   
"Hai?"   
"Do you want to go back to the palace now?"   
I watched her for a second, searching for a reaction, but she gave none away. I gave her a quick hug, which she hesitated before returning. "Do you think he'd let me ask him some questions before we go?"   
"Probably… as long as you don't ask him to come again. I know him, he'll only get mad."   
I nodded and again raised my voice. "Kokie?"   
He looked back, face set in determined lines. "What do you want now?"   
"Just to ask you a few questions. Is that all right?" He regarded me for a minute with that strange, slightly creepy silver gaze that seemed to bore its way into my soul, almost like Toroki's, before tipping his head once in agreement.   
"Let's go into the kitchen, you can sit there."   
Inoue silently led us to the kitchen, much cooler than the forge was, and much more comfortable. As we left that dark and smoky room I could feel some of the tension drain from our little group, some of the weight lift from our shoulders. Part of the bounce returned to Inoue's step, and Kokie seemed to visibly relax. I smiled slightly. While I wouldn't try to convince him to come again, it was his and only his decision, this would go much easier, and maybe I'd actually leave this house a favorable impression of other seishi when I returned to the palace.   
We took our seats, and both siblings looked at me to begin. I swallowed slightly, then smiled, hoping to put them at ease. "If you have any questions for me, Kokie, just ask, all right?" He nodded, regarding me with a contemplating look, staying silent for the time being. "To start off… how long have you known?"   
"About… I guess about five years, as long as the legend's been going around. I heard it for the first time, and something inside of me just… responded, sort of."   
Inoue frowned at her brother. "You never told me that."   
He smiled at her, the special younger sibling smile that almost always gets the bearer out of trouble. "Gomen nasai nee-chan, it just wasn't important then."   
I bit my lip, wondering why the same thing hadn't happened with me, but pushed away my personal inquiry for the moment. "And I sort of already know this, but what are your seishi powers? I just want to make sure," I added hastily as Inoue started to give me a we've-been-through-this look. "The seishi knows better than anyone."   
"She's right nee-chan, we do." Kokie ruffled his sister's hair, calming her down. "I'm sure she told you I can make metal do what I want, but I've got limits like everyone else."   
_No kidding,_ I thought wryly.   
"That's why I passed out when… the fire. I overextended myself that one time to protect her and I. I haven't tried anything that stupid since."   
"So just what _are_ your limits? And trust me, we've all got them."   
Inoue shot me another look, one that said she wasn't soon going to forget my own overexertion. "Just like Subaru-sama, she passed out not three days ago by using too much power at once! And she _still_ isn't completely better!"   
I groaned. "Inoue-chaaaan…"   
"Well maybe that'll stop _you_ the next time you try to stop _time!_"   
"Stop time? What's your power, Subaru-sama?" Kokie looked at me questioningly, interested in how I could manage _that_.   
"I _wish_ it was to stop your sister's over-mothering habits, but it's controlling time. I still don't really know what I can do, I only found out about this recently." I shrugged at his surprised expression. "No symbol showed before, no feelings, not even a hint of a seishi, then all of a sudden I run into Tokaki and it's all over the place."   
"It must have come as a shock to you… I can't imagine what I would have done in that situation."   
"Oh, believe me, I both regret it and am grateful for it." I seemed to hear Masame's cheerful laugh echo through the hall, and barely stopped myself from turning to watch her run past the door. "But I knew I had to do it, and Masa-chan wouldn't forgive me if I didn't. Now," I said quickly, before they could interrogate me about my family, "what are _your_ limits?"   
His fingers flexed, but he didn't seem to notice it. "Probably similar to yours… I can't use too much of my power at once or I pass out, which I never want to have happen again. It only works on metal I can see or know the exact location of. What else… Oh, yeah. It works better if I can touch it for some reason. And I _can_ just put out a general call to anything nearby, but that takes too much energy."   
I nodded. "Very similar to mine, and at least Tokaki's."   
"Subaru-sama," Inoue gently interrupted. "It's getting late. We should be getting back now."   
I glanced out the window and was nearly blinded by the sun setting in the west, the direction I was facing. I put up my hand to block the light and judged it to be a bit later than mid-afternoon. We were due back for the evening meal. I sighed; I liked it in this house. I could see why Kokie didn't want to leave. "All right, Inoue-chan. Just one moment." I stood and stretched a bit, working out a slight kink in my back. Inoue bounced out of her chair and ran down the hall to bid her uncle farewell, and for the moment I was alone with Kokie once again.   
I looked at him. In the afternoon sun his metallic eyes had the look of burnished gold, reminding me somewhat of Tokaki. He was watching me, slowly tensing again, as if he knew what was coming next. I sighed and pressed a hand to my forehead. "Kokie… I don't want to be a bad guy here."   
He nodded once, with perfect seriousness. "I know you don't. I wish you didn't have to be…"   
This boy was _way_ too mature for his age. "I have to ask this, and then I won't bring it up again. Are you absolutely _sure_ you won't come with us?"   
For a moment, for just a moment, judging by the look on his face, I was _sure_ he was going to say _I made a mistake, I'll come with you!_ For a split second his face was open, longing to go, being pulled from his soul… but in the next second his normal expression chased it away, and he shook his head, even if it wasn't as firm as earlier. "I'm… I'm sorry, Subaru-sama, I really am, but I have other duties, here. I can't come with you, not now."   
My eyes closed of their own will, helping me not to show utter, hopeless defeat. "Then… I have a favor to ask you."   
"What is it?"   
"If… If for any reason we need you, and we come back here to ask you to join us again, will you rethink your decision?" I clasped my hands tightly together behind my back, my nails almost digging into my skin to abate my nervousness.   
However, I nearly had to shout for joy when he spoke. "I can think it over, but it would probably have to be really serious for me to change my mind."   
At least we had a chance. "Thank you Kokie. And, please, can I tell the others about you? I'll make sure they don't come and bother you, even if Inoue and I have to tie them to their bedposts ourselves, but they deserve to know. It would be one less weight off their minds."   
He hesitated a moment, lips parted just a bit, but finally came through. "It's all right if you do. And I promise I really _will_ come when Byakko needs to be summoned. It's my duty after all, you can't do it without me."   
I smiled a bit at the reprise of his sentiment from earlier. "Your sister was wrong, you know."   
"She was? About what?"   
"She said you'd explode if I asked you again. You didn't."   
"I have my reasons."   
"Subaru-sama, we must go _now_." Inoue was in the doorway, watching me anxiously.   
I walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Calm down, the palace isn't going anywhere. Good-bye, Kokie. I'll see you again."   
He nodded silently, then turned back to the door to his forge.   
The walk back was slower than the one down, since we were going uphill and against traffic. Shoppers and merchants were steadily streaming out of the market area as the stalls and shops were closed one by one and night approached. Fortunately Inoue seemed to be part mountain goat and led me through a convoluted but mostly deserted maze of back alleyways, only venturing briefly onto the main streets. But the sky was already a dark blue and the first of the myriad stars one could see on clear nights were starting to appear by the time we arrived at a side gate into the palace.   
There was no guard where we entered, which shocked me. Even as small as this gate was, and never mind the fact that probably only servants and guards used it, there was no excuse for letting a potential hole in your defense stay open. I resolved to tell heika-sama about the man shirking his duty at the soonest available opportunity and continued in, muttering dark things under my breath about that absent-minded lout in particular and the breed of guards in general.   
However… the real shock came when we'd gotten closer to the palace. If no guard on the gate was shocking, the number of guards that had swarmed to the area of our rooms was heart stopping. Everywhere I looked I could see at least two or three men in white armor, swords drawn and shields ready. Something was going on, something big, something I _definitely_ would not like…   
And then, in front of me, Tokaki appeared out of nowhere and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. "Where the hell _were_ you?!"   
"OUT! Like I _said_ I would be!" I pushed back angrily, forcing myself out of his iron grip. "I told you that _yesterday_ you freak! Now calm down and tell me what the hell is going on here!"   
His hawkish eyes caught mine, refused to let them go, piercing into my very being with an unaccustomed look of complete seriousness. "Suzuno is gone."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The room our miko stayed in was very similar to mine, with a bed, a table, some chairs, and a chest of drawers. The decorations were slightly different and the screens had a different pattern painted on them, but the two rooms could have been sisters.   
Except for the signs of a small struggle that had taken place here. A small vase of flowers had been knocked to the floor, the pretty arrangement falling out of the flute and scattering like rubbish over the carpet. The water had long since sunk into the thick fibers, leaving no trace of its ever having been there. One of the chairs had been knocked over. There were three books carelessly thrown over the table, one with bent pages. I knew Suzuno too well now to assume she would leave her things like that. The books were plainly hers; when I picked one up and flipped through it, I couldn't understand the language they were written in for the life of me. Her bag was thrown in a corner, as if someone wanted to get it out of sight.   
We four seishi were the only people in the room. I busied myself with straightening up, knowing Suzuno would want her things treated with more respect, as Tokaki let off a rail of curses at whoever would dare snatch her from right under our noses and Toroki let him, quietly thinking.   
Tatara sat on the edge of the neatly made bed like a broken man, his gaze never shifting from his hands in his lap. He made neither sound nor movement, his face bearing the saddest, most pained and shocked look I'd ever seen.   
"Toroki, are you _sure_ you didn't see this coming?"   
"Tokaki, for the fifth time _at least_, I can't control what I see! Now stop asking me that before _I_ ask Subaru to hit you. Hard."   
I ignored their bickering and sat next to Tatara, putting my arms around his chest and hugging him tightly. He finally moved, blinking and shifting slightly to look down at me, hesitantly bringing up a hand to stroke my hair. "Don't worry Tatara," I said quietly, using the noise of the other two's fighting to avoid having my words reach their ears. "We'll get her back. I know we will."   
He smiled, a smile filled with infinite sadness. "Becoming clairvoyant like Toroki, are we?"   
I felt my mouth stretch upward a little at the corners, hoping it gave him a bit of courage. "No, but we're all too damn stubborn to let whoever it is get away with this and you know it just like I do."   
Abruptly he enfolded me in his arms, exactly as Bokkai used to do before he left, hugging me tightly and sincerely. "Arigato."   
I squeaked a little as most of the air was forced out of my lungs, but smiled up at him anyway. "You'd do the same for me, it's only fair." He nodded, looking more hopeful at least, and released me so I could stand. "All right, quiet you two." I raised my voice to just above their argument level, drawing their attention without drawing their yells to "shut up and be quiet". "What do we know so far? And why in the hell did we not feel anything this time?" The pricking feeling of _protect her NOW_ hadn't come to us in this case, as it had in the forest before we found Toroki, and it was baffling all of us to no end, especially me.   
"I have a theory about that… It may not be right, but it's better than what we've got now." Toroki reached out a hand until it hit the back of one of the chairs positioned around the table, pulling it out and sitting down. "Which is precisely _nothing_."   
"Well? Are you gonna tell us what it is, or do we have to read your mind?" Tokaki also pulled out a chair and sat down with a mildly ticked-off huff, propping his booted feet on the table and leaning back in the chair.   
"You can try, but you wouldn't get very far. Now, remember, it's only a theory, and I haven't actually felt what you all have, so it might be wrong. But… from what you all said, when those bandits were about to attack you, all the seishi - not the miko mind you - suddenly got this 'something's coming' feeling."   
"Yeah yeah, we know all that, get to the point alllIIITAAIII!" I withdrew my fist from between Tokaki's shoulder blades, feeling pleased.   
"Thank you Subaru," Toroki said congenially.   
"It was nothing."   
"Anyway… When they attacked you, it was an immediate danger. Maybe this time it wasn't."   
We all - even Tokaki, who was still muttering about the punch - fell silent and looked at him, confused.   
As if he sensed our confusion, and he probably did, Toroki continued. "You said this room looked like a struggle happened, but maybe it was something else. Someone carrying away Suzuno for instance, and being incredibly clumsy. Maybe someone managed to gain her trust and get in here, or sneaked in when she wasn't here, and there was no immediate danger - by which I mean no flying weapons coming at her from any direction, no guys dropping out of trees to attack. This might've only been a… a messenger, sent to retrieve her, not do anything to her."   
"But why wouldn't they just… kill her and get it over with?" My voice quivered on that word, kill. If she _was_ dead…   
He shrugged. "Now _that_ I don't have any theories about. Turn her to their side? Find out more about the miko and seishi? Something else completely?"   
"Do we know _anything_ about what happened?" Tatara asked in despair from the bed.   
Tokaki shook his head, once again very serious. "Not a thing. Heika-sama's got the guards searching the palace, in case she's still here, but… he doesn't have high hopes of that."   
"How did we find out she was gone?" I said quietly.   
"I was looking for her a couple hours ago, needed to ask her something, but she… wasn't here. And then she wasn't anywhere else I could think of, and then I remembered the state her room had been in." Tokaki sighed heavily, removing his feet from the table and letting his chair fall to the floor again with a thunk. "Gomen Tatara, it's my fault."   
"No, it's mine, I shouldn't have left her alone…"   
"Oh, be quiet," I snapped. Six stunned eyes looked at me. "No one's going to get anything accomplished if we sit around trying to blame ourselves. We _all_ messed up, how's that?" I gazed sharply at each of them, even Toroki, and they shrank back as if I was wielding a red-hot poker. "It was our duty to protect her, and we failed. But it's _still_ our duty to go get her back."   
Tokaki found his voice at last. I'd never known him to go that long without speaking. "And exactly _how_ are we supposed to do this if we don't have any idea what happened or who did this?"   
I swung my gaze back to him, taking a deep breath in case he began protesting. "We do have an idea of who did this though. At the moment we only have one enemy that we know of, and has something to gain by taking the Byakko no Miko."   
"Taheiji."   
The voice that spoke that one name was unfamiliar, a low growl that sent shivers up my spine. I swung around to face it and realized with a shock that the man who'd spoken was Tatara. His normally gentle eyes shone with rage as the shock of finding Suzuno gone wore off to be replaced with anger. His hands were clenching into fists at his sides. He looked truly frightening.   
They hadn't just taken Byakko no Miko, they had taken _his_ Suzuno. He wanted to make them pay.   
Tokaki saw his friend at the same time I did, but quickly moved to act as I did not. He ran and grabbed Tatara's forearms, pinning his arms to his sides before he could do anything. "Tatara, _calm down_. We'll get her back, we'll get them, but _calm down!_"   
"Tokaki! _Let me go!_" Tatara fought to free his arms, nearly ripping out of Tokaki's iron grip more than once like a man possessed, as his necklace began to sprout several small tendrils, all reaching for Tokaki.   
"_LIKE HELL I WILL!_" Tokaki ignored the vines, ducking around one that grabbed for his ear as he held Tatara down by force alone. "You're not thinking clearly! _We'll get her back! Trust me!_" He was getting desperate. His strength was fading under Tatara's sheer fury. He'd break free soon… "Tatara! I know how you feel! I nearly died when I thought the same thing happened to… _We'll get her back!_"   
Slowly, so slow I almost couldn't see it, the vines and tendrils sprouting from his necklace of seeds began to retract, getting thinner every moment, going back to sleep in their little cocoons.   
Tokaki kept going, knowing he was getting through. "Suzuno wouldn't like to see you like this. It'd frighten her. We can't turn back time, but we can go get her. C'mon Tatara, calm down."   
His phrasing, his words _we can't turn back time_ slammed into my mind, an idea forming from the impact. _Of course!_   
Tatara blinked once, twice, his eyes and face slowly clearing, seeming to see Tokaki in front of him for the first time, still pinning his arms. "Tokaki… I… I'm sorry." He slumped back to lean against the headboard, his energy spent. Tokaki let go, keeping a watchful eye on him. Toroki frowned with concern and frustration, no doubt at not being able to fully tell what was happening.   
And I got to do the next unexpected thing. "All right, everyone out."   
"Nani?!"   
"You heard me, out. _Now_. I want to try something." I glared at Tokaki, who took the hint and reached out a hand to Tatara, who accepted and pulled himself to his feet. Toroki stood up and I placed my hand on his arm, ignoring their protests and queries and leading him to the doors. I closed them with a firm click once they were all outside, then made myself block out their talk and concentrate on the room itself.   
I was probably going to overdo it again, but it would be worth it if I could learn something. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, held it, then let it out and took another, calming myself as I'd seen the monks do at the temple our family went to. The white fire inside me blazed again, filling me comfortably as if I was only a storage container for part of something much greater than myself; and I was and that was fine with me. I'd never tried this before, but the words appeared in my mind as they always did, nudging me to say them. I doubt I would have recognized my own voice; it was low and throaty as I spoke, as I'd never heard it before. "For my eyes only, time flow in reverse for me to see the past." I felt a slight wind around me, making my hair flutter, and heard papers rustle. I cautiously opened my eyes.   
Everything around me was running in high speed - backwards. The furniture and I were the only solid things in the room, everything else was a ghost of itself - even the people.   
There I was, opening the doors and the three walking in backwards, two sitting down; the struggle between Tokaki and Tatara, Tokaki sitting down, myself sitting next to Tatara, the other two bickering, me standing and moving backwards, making a mess of Suzuno's things, all four of us leaving, again moving backwards. A long time passed where nothing happened, then guards began coming and going, only looking around and leaving things as they were. Heika appeared, stayed there for what had in real time been a few minutes, but to me was seconds. Tokaki came in, left with heika and most of the guards. More guards came and went, and Toroki and Tatara came and left, Tokaki was there again, more guards, then nothing for another time… then Tokaki one more time, searching around briefly, and my heart leapt to my throat as I realized it was mid afternoon, the time he'd come looking for her, and I was soon going to see what happened.   
Another space of no activity passed, what I judged to be an hour by the change in light, and then someone backed into the room once again: a man, unfamiliar, a large sack that I recognized as what was used to take away clothes to be cleaned, apparently full, slung across his back. In the moment I watched him I engrained his face into my mind, knowing this was probably the man we were looking for. He put the sack on the floor and opened it, pushing it down around a form - a form of a tall, sleeping girl. Suzuno. He picked her up easily, a chair magically righting for him as he placed her in it, then extracted something from the inside of his white jacket - what looked to be a piece of cloth - and held it over her face. Her limp form gained energy, moved, began to fight, knocking the scattered books into a pile, but even with the quickness I could tell the movements were sluggish. Her mind must have been slowing as well. The flowers flew back into the vase as it rushed up from the floor and placed itself perfectly on the table, immediately after her arm had moved from where it stood. The man removed the cloth and put it back where he'd gotten it, and Suzuno went back to looking at the book in her hands. He walked around, taking clothing out of his sack and putting it randomly around the room, as they seemed to chat happily. The sack flew up to his hand and he walked out backwards, Suzuno standing and following him, closing the door, going back to the table and taking up the book again.   
"Time reverse stop." My voice was hoarse, and I was shaking a little from the use of my power. The ghostly forms vanished from around me and once again it was night in the room I had just straightened up. The entire thing had probably taken ten minutes at the most to see half the day, but I was shaking slightly anyway. Inoue would have my head, again, but I couldn't worry about that now.   
I took several deep breaths and most of the shaking stopped. I whirled on the doors and flung them open. Tokaki and Toroki both fell into the room and thudded at my feet; Tatara remained on his, looking down at them amusedly. I groaned and dragged both of them upright again, once again ignoring their protests of pain as I gripped their ears. "Find Inoue. Now."   
"That servant girl? What do you want _her_ for?" Tokaki gave me a sullen look as he rubbed his maroonish ear.   
I narrowed my eyes at him, the most dangerous look I could think of. "Just get her, and get some horses. And get packed!"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"Subaru-sama… are you sure?"   
I nodded grimly. "Unfortunately… yes. He was dressed like a servant. He came to get the laundry, did something to Suzuno, and took her. Do you know who he is?"   
"What did he look like again?" she asked in a helpless tone.   
"He was pretty tall, taller than Tokaki even, with a large build. He had a scar on his cheek, but you had to look for it. I don't know what color eyes he had, but he had brown hair. Is that anyone you know?" _If Inoue doesn't know,_ I thought grimly, _then we're out of luck_.   
She thought for a long time, but finally gave me a response: a slow headshake. "Iya… I don't, Subaru-sama. Gomen." She looked down at the floor, her hands hooking together behind her back and squeezing themselves. "This is… because of me. I normally take Suzuno-sama's clothing myself, but we were out…"   
I grabbed her into a quick hug. "It is _not_ your fault. They would have tried it no matter who normally did the job. They just waited for that person's off-day, so don't you even _think_ it's because of you." She nodded silently, and I pushed her back to look her directly in the eye. I had to ask her to do this for us, for Suzuno. "But I have a favor to ask you…"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Not an hour later, we four seishi were outside the Tsumuras' home, three of us mounted on our horses and I holding Sora's reins, as well as those of another horse, from the ground. There was a crackling tension in the air as we waited for Inoue to come back.   
And still none of the others knew. Well, they would soon.   
"Just what the hell are we doing here anyway? We should be going after Suzuno, not sitting around in front of strange houses!" Tokaki protested. "And why do we have six horses for five people?" He was stuck holding the reins of the spare horse I hoped we'd have a use for in a few moments.   
"Shhhhh." I held a finger to my lips, not turning my eyes from the house. Tatara and Toroki wisely kept silent, watching with me.   
The door banged open and shut and two figures ran down the steps and across the yard. They didn't stop to open the gate, simply clambered easily over and stood in front of us. Inoue had something in her arms. Her brother was watching me, as he had so much already today. "Nee-chan says the miko is missing. Is it true?"   
I nodded. "Very true, and we wish it wasn't."   
"Who does this kid-"   
"Shut up Tokaki."   
I mentally thanked Tatara and vowed to sew Tokaki's mouth shut later. "Have you rethought your decision?" I asked, mentally begging Byakko he had.   
He looked to his side, at his sister, and I could barely see her nod in the darkness. "I have," he replied, turning back to me.   
"And what have you decided, Kokie?"   
Behind us I heard Toroki clap a hand over Tokaki's mouth to muffle his surprised protest just as Tatara grabbed him from behind to stop him flailing.   
The boy in front of me, his sister, and I ignored them completely, caught up in our little drama. "I'm going."   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: ~grabs the plot, one end in each hand, and twiiiiiiiiiiists~   
It's gonna get harder from here on in. A lot harder. They've been having a relatively easy time of it so far, with two seishi practically falling into their laps. Well, that's not gonna happen any more. First they have to save Suzuno!   
Another reason I hung back on posting this... I've recently became aware (as in a week ago, when I was deciding whether to post this chapter or the Plots Epilogue) of another "find the seishi" Byakko fic. Strange thing was, though, it's ALSO from Suba-chan's POV. It's by Ryn, and deals with the story differently than I do (duh, Kaze-chan). Go look it up! Anyway, I just sort of didn't want to get into a "post war" or something like that, and held back on posting. Don't be angry with me!   
THANK YOU EVERYONE for reading this story! ~huuuuugs all who read, with special emphasis on those who REVIEW (not-so-gentle hint...)~ I love writing this one, I get to be silly and serious at the same time, and I'm so happy that you enjoy it as much or more than I do.   



	9. Chapter 9: One Too Many Surprises

  
DISCLAIMER: If Kaze-chan owned Fushigi Yugi, she wouldn't have to do her own laundry. As she is currently in the middle of doing her own laundry, she must not own Fushigi Yugi. Get it?   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I've had this one done for awhile, but then I got stuck while writing 10 (I was trying to get ahead -_-() ) and I decided not to post this until I'd gotten over the proverbial speed bump... Speed HILL is more like it. I finally got over the mini-writer's block and worked it out, so here's 9 for y'all to enjoy ~_~   
Thank you Ryn for sharing that incredibly incredibly amusing picture with me! ~_~ I can't wait 'til I can see that for myself, I'll probably burst out laughing right in the middle of the store (which I do a lot anyways, so maybe it won't be that abnormal ~_~). Also thank you for that info on Suba-chan, where'd you find it? You are Officially Cool ~_~   
I wanted to get this one up before I left - yes, left, I'm taking off for a few days with my Drama buddies, we're all going to a conference where we get to do nothing but watch plays and attend classes in different aspects of theatre and act as crazy as we all are... ahh, heaven ~_~ So... please excuse me if there are any typos, I'll fix them when I come back! It'll just be a couple days, but you're always exhausted afterwards.   
Well, anyway, hope you like it! Yeah yeah, stop being cliche Kaze-chan...   
Oh yeah, Obligatory Dedication this time is for Rabbit. ~_~ For ~fill in blank here Rabbit~!   
  


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The sky above us was pitch black, but nearly covered with small points of twinkling light. Almost every star was clearly visible to us as we'd left the lights of the city behind hours ago, heading northeast, in the direction of Kutou and hopefully Taheiji's camp and skirting the great mass of the desert that occupied most of eastern Sairou. We hadn't stopped until the moon was hanging high in the sky, nearly at its peak, trusting to our powers to keep us safe if we were attacked by bandits or soldiers. Fortunately we hadn't seen anyone else. But that didn't mean there wasn't someone or several someones out there, and we'd developed a round of watch shifts.   
It had been at least an hour since we'd stopped and I was more or less comfortably settled in the same type of blanket-bed we'd made ourselves when we were searching for Toroki, but I hadn't been able to get to sleep. Occasionally I would begin to drift off, but then a movement from one of my companions, a twig snapping in the fire, or something else I couldn't identify would haul me back to wakefulness. I knew the best way to find sleep was to stop looking for it, so I rolled over on my back, facing the stars, watching them calmly. Was it true what some said about them - did they really tell the future? If they did, did mere mortals know how to read it right? My own future was influenced by those stars, and the futures of those around me, but what about the normal people? Did they have any idea what the stars held for them?   
"You're contemplative tonight." It was a quiet voice, so unlike his normal one. "Still can't sleep in the great outdoors, I see."   
"No." I sighed. It wasn't all together unpleasant, talking to him like this, but was it going to be a pattern? "I forgot you were on guard duty."   
He didn't move, resting his back against a tree trunk. Soon the forests would dwindle as we got closer and closer to the mountain range that formed our eastern border, the terrain would grow rockier, the winds would pick up. We would all miss the trees and the steadiness they provided. "You can take your turn if you want."   
Since I didn't think I'd be going to sleep soon, I struggled out of my blanket and went to sit next to him. He'd found a good spot to watch from, where the open areas leading into the little clearing we'd selected for our camp were visible. But as I settled down he made no move to the warmth of his own temporary bed.   
I didn't want to be rude, but after a few minutes of us sitting there in silence, broken only by the crackling of the fire and the sounds of sleep from the other seishi, it began to feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable. There were too many things that could happen in the dark that I could think of, some I didn't want to dwell on and others I surprisingly did. It seemed I was making it all up in my own mind, because he neither moved nor spoke, just stared at the leaping fire.   
"Umm… you can go to sleep, if you want," I hesitantly offered.   
"It's all right, I wouldn't be able to sleep either."   
I sighed. So much for that idea. "Where do you think Suzuno is?"   
"I don't really know," he replied honestly, a slight tremor of worry for our miko in his own voice. "Hopefully she really is in Taheiji's camp, but he's a brilliant strategist. If he knows who he has, if he _does_ have her, he'd make sure to put her somewhere we wouldn't think of looking. But at the same time he'd want to keep her under as much guard as possible, and he'd want to keep his soldiers near himself, so he could also have her right under his nose." He shifted slightly, adjusting his leaning position against the rough bark. "The Miko have some sort of ability of their own, and he probably knows it. That could also be a factor."   
I smiled a bit. "You sound like Toroki, you know that?"   
"Remind me never to again."   
"I actually think it kind of suits you. You sure act like you are sometimes, but you're really not stupid." I glanced over at the newest and youngest of us, huddled unconsciously close to Toroki and Tatara, as if for protection. Once again I felt a fresh surge of guilt at taking him from his home and family, even though in the end it had been his decision to come.   
"I think I'll take that as a compliment." He followed my gaze, nodding a bit when it landed on Kokie. "Why didn't you tell us?" I looked at him, confusion plain on my face. "About him." He gestured in the boy's direction.   
"I only found out about him today, when I was out with Inoue. It's her brother, you know that."   
"Yeah, but if you'd told us it would've-"   
"No, it wouldn't have." I cut into his speech sharply. "I made a promise to him not to try and 'recruit' him again except in extreme circumstances, which we _do_ have now, yes. And he said I could tell you all about him. But when I got back I found turmoil and a missing miko and there didn't seem to be a good place to slip in 'Oh, by the way, I found another seishi and nearly collapsed again.'"   
"You nearly collapsed again?" he asked, reproach plain in his voice.   
I groaned a bit. And we were on the verge of getting _along_ for an hour. "Don't you start acting like Inoue, I've had enough worry over me for one day."   
"You overdid it again." It wasn't a question. He completely ignored my statement. "We've _told_ you not to do too much at once."   
"I didn't _ask_ for him to pop up this afternoon!" He shushed me a bit, gesturing at the others. I guiltily lowered my voice, rebuking myself for almost disturbing their, well, not exactly sound sleep. "I couldn't help it."   
"Yeah yeah, that's what they always say. Come here." And before I could ask him who _they_ were or why they always said that he'd grabbed my wrist and pulled me - not painfully, or I would've hit him again - closer to him for an inspection. His earrings, which I'd never seen him without, glinted the same color as his eyes in the firelight, the latter searching me over clinically and impersonally as a doctor. I kept silent, knowing he didn't mean any harm and certain my protests would wake the others. After a few minutes he nodded to himself and let me go.   
I was more confused than ever. This was yet another side of Tokaki that I hadn't seen, and he'd presented me with several already: the elder brother figure, the lech, the worrier, the concerned friend, the fierce fighter, the somewhat-raging maniac, the idiot who didn't think before he spoke, and now this strange detachment. Which was the real him? Were they _all_ him? Was I as confusing as he was? "Tokaki?"   
"Hai?"   
"Can I ask you a question?"   
"You just did."   
I rolled my eyes. "Don't get cute now."   
He laughed a bit. "Go right ahead if you want to ask another."   
"Why do you worry about me so much?"   
I expected a quick, blithe, teasing answer like he'd given me several times before on other topics, but he didn't say anything. Didn't even look at me. "Tokaki?"   
"I should've thought it was obvious why."   
I sighed. "Not to me, it's not. Just tell me, all right?"   
"Do you really want to know?"   
"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't, would I?"   
"I guess you wouldn't, it's not the way you do things." He turned slightly, rotating until he faced me, tiny little fires dancing in his eyes and making his irises glow copper. The flames picked out red highlights in his light hair, and at that moment he appeared as some mythical being of nature, a fire sprite perhaps, that had come to our country looking for something… or someone…   
In the dreamlike atmosphere provided by the fire, the darkness, the trees, the stars overhead, and a sudden feeling of isolation from everyone else but him nothing seemed real, not him nor I nor the ground beneath our bodies.   
And suddenly…   
I couldn't think.   
His lips were against mine, soft as I'd never thought them to be, loving and caressing and everything I would have never associated with him and I was too startled to pull away. His hands came up, slowly, to rest themselves gently on my shoulders, pulling me ever so slightly closer to him, and I gave in, closing my own eyes and abandoning myself to feel alone. It was… it was…   
It was over.   
I blinked my eyes open and he was staring at me, arms held tightly to his sides, eyes unnaturally wide. I could feel the blush rushing through my cheeks and quickly looked at the ground, pulling my knees up to my chin in an almost defensive posture. He mumbled something that sounded like "I'm going to bed," but I couldn't be sure. He quickly stood up and almost ran from that place next to the tree where I still sat, lying down hurriedly and pulling his blanket over his head.   
What had… what had that been about?   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
I decided, as I sat up during my hour-long watch and as I lay awake after waking Toroki to take my place, to not mention anything about it, treat him any differently, or even _think_ about it again. He was simply the most frustrating man I knew, and… last night… couldn't have been anything more than tricks played on my delusional mind by the atmosphere and maybe even Tokaki himself.   
But maybe that _hadn't_ been Tokaki. Maybe it was some sort of weird thing taking Tokaki's shape.   
Hey! Maybe he'd been possessed!   
No, that was idiotic. _But how else did you explain it?!_   
The next day was overcast. There'd probably be rain, which would also become more and more scarce as we neared the desert, and we silently cursed for not thinking of bringing along anything to protect ourselves as we rode. Riding wet is _not_ a fun experience, unless you're the type that actually _goes_ for it. But there weren't that many people I knew who'd have fun on a horse in the rain.   
The rain held off while we quickly ate and packed, looking at a map Ebizo had kindly provided for us as a reference. We'd left the area of the villages that surrounded the capital the day before, but Sairou was a large empire and the capital was located more in the west than the middle of the country because of the desert. The route we'd be taking was the quickest we could plot, but going around the desert would take time. At one point Kokie innocently asked why Tokaki couldn't just take us around it by his teleportation, and he'd received a gruff, noncommittal answer back which Tatara gently reprimanded Tokaki for. I shook my head and stayed out of it.   
We'd have one more day of trees before they gave way to the plants that managed to grow in the rocky terrain of the north. If it rained we could always take shelter under them and keep off the worst of the water, but as we cantered along, the horses hooves tramping the green grass below in almost perfect, hollow rhythm, the clouds stayed shut. In truth I would have preferred rain, just to get it over with and see the sun again, while we still had the chance for shelter. But Byakko or whichever god it was refused to acknowledge even that simple request.   
Somehow I ended up at the back of the pack, riding next to Kokie. The other three were strung out in front of us, occasionally arguing about whether we were going the right way or not, completely ignoring our presence. I had a feeling that they still didn't know what to _make_ of this new seishi, as sudden a surprise as he'd been.   
"Having fun yet, Kokie?" I called across to him, raising my voice so it pierced through the wind our speed generated.   
He turned as much as he could in his saddle and yelled back "Do you want an honest answer?"   
"Hai- whoa!" I slowed Sora quickly as the three in front suddenly pulled in their reins, a more relaxed pace needed to navigate the mess of bushes that had appeared between the trees up ahead. We didn't need a horse-to-horse collision at all.   
Next to me Kokie also reined in his horse, sticking beside me as he had been, I remembered once I'd put my mind to it, pretty much all morning. The brief thought that I might be substituting for Inoue crossed my mind, but I didn't really care if I was or not. It was kind of nice to be depended on for something. "To tell the truth," he began in his normal voice now that we no longer needed to shout, "I'm not sure."   
I blinked curiously at him, tilting my head slightly to the side, something I did occasionally that my mother said made me look like a cat. "Really? Why not?"   
It's not really hard to tell when a young teenage boy is uncomfortable, at least not for me. And now it was written all over Kokie's face. "It's… well…" He gestured up ahead with the hand wrapped in his reins at the three older men.   
I glanced at them, then nodded. "I see… Don't worry, they'll get used to you. They're just kinda ticked that I didn't tell them about you before we showed up at your house last night."   
He grumbled a bit under his breath and I couldn't catch his meaning, but I let him be for a little while as we negotiated the bushes. They were very thick and obviously not tread much, and it was up to Tatara's horse to push a path through them for the rest of us to follow.   
I threw a look at Toroki as we rode, wondering how he was keeping up. I was a bit envious when I saw he seemed to be doing better than me. He had special tack for his horse that he could sit comfortably in, and the horse itself was exceptionally well trained. It always seemed to know what he wanted it to do, and I briefly wondered if he had a rapport with animals as part of his seishi powers.   
  


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The day wore on in much the same way the morning did. The threatening clouds kept silent, and the birds and other forest creatures kept inside because of the approach of inclement weather or the intruders in their homes, we knew not which. Tokaki and I barely looked at each other and never spoke, he still riding with Tatara and Toroki and I with Kokie, but there seemed to be a tension that nothing would get rid of. Small talk was reduced to nothing at times as the others caught the feeling from us, and once I caught Tatara look surreptitiously back in my direction, as if he knew that at least part of it was because of me. I could only stare ahead.  
  
We were starting to consider finding a place to stop and sleep for the night, having managed to forget to plan our route so that it intersected inhabited areas where we could find an inn or tavern, when Toroki held up his hand, pulling his horse to a stop. We all came to a halt beside him or behind him, watching him curiously.   
"I sense…" His voice was that of the old sage again, the voice he seemed to assume when using his powers. "I sense a massive pool of ill-feeling…"   
"Which way?" Tatara asked mutely.   
Toroki turned his head to "look" over each shoulder, making a chill run down my spine at how empty that normally cheerful face appeared. He really was a different person when his symbol appeared. "That way," he motioned, and his horse pranced a bit, trying to follow his hand, but he held it in check.   
Tokaki swore under his breath. "East. Should've known. Can you tell how far they are?"   
The younger boy "watched" the direction they were coming from for another moment, then faced front again and wrapped the reins tightly around his hands. "They're coming. Go. Now."   
The cold, concise manner in which he delivered news of our upcoming battle lit us as if we'd been thrown in a fire. We kicked our horses up to the highest speed they'd go and plunged through the trees and bushes, Toroki yelling over the noise. "They're trying to outrun us and cut us off in front! They want to ambush us! We can't get away from this, we need to find a spot we can fight from! They know where we are, they'll come after us if we turn around!"   
"WHOA!" Tatara turned sharply left and his horse reared on its hind legs, nearly throwing him off. His connection with plants seemed to provide him with extra help as he began galloping in that direction, shouting back over his shoulder. "The trees say there's a clearing over here! Quick! It's big enough for us but they can't get that many in there!" We unquestioningly followed him.   
After a few minutes that seemed like eternity we arrived in his clearing, jumping off our horses and preparing as well as we could to fight. Those of us who used weapons (Toroki and myself) unstrapped them from our saddle packs and sent our horses into the woods, the other three following, hopefully out of danger. Tokaki hurriedly teleported Toroki to sit on a high, sturdy tree branch, hopefully giving him room to fire without worrying about hitting one of us and get him out of the way of everyone else. Kokie stood silently by, slowly going whiter and whiter at the thought of what was probably his first fight. I loosened up by taking a couple of practice swings with my staff at a nearby tree, even in these somewhat urgent circumstances finding myself pretending it was Tokaki's head. Tatara quickly grew his vine whip, glancing around uneasily, cautiously. Tokaki simply stood and waited.   
"They're here."   
There was a minute of absolute silence before all hell broke loose. Darkly clothed shapes seemed to appear out of nowhere as Tokaki did effortlessly, falling on us two or three to a seishi and ripping our attention away from our comrades. I was allowed a moment before they attacked to wonder how in the _hell_ they had snuck up on us - if you could call it that, with Toroki's warning - without us seeing them, and then the first Kutou sword I'd ever seen was swinging at my head. I ducked and prayed to Byakko to keep all of us safe and let my self-defense instincts kick in overtime as I blocked the sword and knocked it away from my body. There were three men there, all of them swinging various sharply honed weapons which could probably cleave me in half if I let them, but I wasn't about to give them a chance at it. The restricted space I'd claimed prevented more than two of them from attacking at a time, and I managed to hold them off as they swung repeatedly, slicing twigs and leaves from nearby trees and bushes, once even catching a few strands of my hair.   
The clearing was in an uproar, battle shouts and clanging of weapons, the crack of Tatara's whip, the whizzing sounds of not only Toroki's bow but those of Kutou archers as well. I couldn't see my fellow seishi but once or twice, when the men I was against shifted their positions and revealed a glimpse of the open area beyond. As such I had no idea that Toroki was having problems as the enemy archers took refuge behind trees, that Kokie was indeed holding his own, and possibly even having _fun_, as he bent the enemies' swords like paper and seemed to make anything metal they were wearing shrink, that Tatara was holding back his three easily with the whip and was sneakily growing vines behind them to entangle their legs and entire bodies, that Tokaki, who had the most men on him, was actually having a bit of trouble.   
I could only concentrate on the three in front of me, getting more and more annoyed at these supposedly infamous Kutou assassins who couldn't even managed to kill one barely trained girl. Then there was an extra burst of strength in my arms and back and I wrenched the sword out of one man's hands and sent it flying with the end of the staff, not pausing in my advantage and quickly walloping him hard across the temple. He fell and lay still, and I felt a momentary triumph, but the other two, no longer needing to worry about cramped space, doubled their own attacks. I tried desperately to keep up and fell back to the defense, as that was all I was able to do under the onslaught.   
"Subaru!" I couldn't take the time to identify the voice, but one of the men suddenly pitched forward, falling heavily on me and pinning me to the ground, the staff being knocked out of my hands and landing about five feet away, out of my reach. I couldn't move the much heavier man off me as my arms were also rather awkwardly pinned, but I could see a familiar arrow sticking out of his back and silently blessed Toroki for his timely assistance. Then a shadow fell over my face and I looked up to see the last man I'd been fighting standing over me, his sword raised, a sadistic grin on his face.   
"Boss said that if even one of you was dead it'd be over. So you're the one." The sword came down quickly, slicing the air in its path with an audible _whish_.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"Subaru!"   
"Subaru!"   
"Subaru!"   
"Subaru-san!"   
THUCK.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"GET AWAY FROM HER!"   
Tokaki appeared out of nowhere and smashed the assassin in the head with a fist as hard as brick, raging as a man possessed, then grabbed the dead man and in a sudden burst of strength picked him bodily off me and threw him away. I bit my lip, vowing not to cry out, but his actions had driven the assassin's blade deeper into my shoulder than it had gone when I'd twisted out of the way the first time. It hurt. It really hurt. But I was a seishi, I wouldn't be weak or show weakness, even though I could feel the tears of pain that I refused to let go welling up in my eyes.   
It was only a few moments more until the rest of them were finished. Tatara quickly tied up his three with the vines, Kokie helped direct Toroki's arrows to the other assassins hidden in the bushes and trees. Tokaki had managed to take care of his batch before I got hurt, using pressure points on a couple of them, knocking another out, breaking the last one's neck. Most of the attackers were dead. Good riddance.   
Tokaki quickly knelt next to me and tried, honestly tried to pull the sword out of my shoulder and the ground it was embedded in gently, but it still hurt and I couldn't stop a quick cry of pain as he wrenched it out of the soil, grating it against my collarbone. It felt like that had been broken under the force of the blow as well, and I couldn't really move my left arm; probably some nerves and tendons had been severed. I was in bad shape, felt it, and probably looked it.   
"Subaru! Gods, someone get a bandage or something, anything! Subaru!" Tokaki was still next to me, more anxious than I'd ever seen him, white with fear. "Oh gods, why you? Why not me?" I yelped again as he touched my shoulder, and he quickly retracted his hand, still watching me anxiously.   
"Don't move her!" Toroki called from the safety of his tree. "You'll only make it worse! And _get me down from here!_"   
"Obey the boy, why don't you?" Tatara said to Tokaki as he knelt on my other, uninjured side, a cloth and a bottle of water in his hands. Tokaki gave him a dark glare but disappeared into the tree, grabbed Toroki, and appeared on the ground again, running back to resume his place next to me. Tatara apologized quietly if what he was going to do was painful, then poured water out of the bottle and onto the wound, trying to clean it. It stung and made me clench my teeth, but if it would help I would put up with it forever. I dimly saw Kokie approach our little group, leading Toroki, a wide-eyed look on his face. I tried to smile reassuringly, but my face screwed up in pain again as Tatara began pulling my bloody clothes away from my shoulder.   
"Ne!" Tokaki smacked Tatara's hand away abruptly. "You can't do that!"   
"And why not?" I wondered if I'd ever heard Tatara cross before, thought I probably had, but not to that extent.   
"She's… well, a she!"   
I groaned. Of all the times to be worried about decency!   
"And we have no doctor! That needs to be treated and bandaged!" I could almost hear the glare in his voice. "You certainly don't seem to care at other times, so hold your mouth now and let me do this!"   
"This is different! If anyone's gonna do this, I will!"   
I shot another glance at Toroki and Kokie. Kokie obviously didn't know what was going on, but Toroki looked more and more exasperated. Just like me.   
"Oh, back up!" I shouted, flinging out my good arm in their directions and surpressing a fresh wince of pain. They rapidly moved out of the way of my flailing limb and I glared daggers at them. "Stay there you idiots. _I'll_ do something about it."   
"What the… Oh no," Tokaki protested, somehow knowing what I was talking about. "Not that. You'll pass out again!"   
"At this rate I will anyway, and at least this way I'll be healthy! Now shut up and let me concentrate!"   
He shut up with much berating from the others and questions about what I was going to do.   
I shut them all out of my mind, calling on my powers, trying to remember the exact words. Last time I'd tried this I'd only felt woozy, and I hadn't had my full seishi powers; maybe this time it wouldn't be so bad. But then again, last time I hadn't lost vast amounts of blood either…   
I closed my eyes, focused on myself, and said quietly under my breath "Time turn back on the body of myself to this point of yesterday."   
I could hear a whooshing sound, the only way I could think of to describe it was as a wind blowing backwards. The pain in my shoulder, which had been throbbing as the blood flowed out of me, suddenly disappeared. I turned my head to the side and saw… nothing. Only my torn clothes and the furrow in the ground remained to tell that something had happened to me. There was no blood, no cut. I tried to move my arm and found it in perfect working order. My collarbone felt fine, and I hesitantly sat up.   
And was nearly killed again as a runaway stampede slammed into me, knocking me to the ground again. It seemed my ribs would crack under the force of Tokaki's hug, and it also seemed like he'd never let go.   
Not if I had my say in it.   
"Get OFF me!" I pushed him back as forcefully as possible and sat up again, shaky, trembling. I was healed, yes, but now I was as weak as a newborn kitten. I made myself focus on each of them in turn, seeing their expressions of worry and hope. I smiled unsteadily at each of them. "Daijobu," I said. "Are they all gone?"   
Tatara nodded. "They're dead, unconscious, or tied up. We won't be having problems with this batch any more."   
"Good," I sighed, then lay down again, closing my eyes. "I just… can I go to sleep for awhile?"   
I squawked tiredly as two arms slid themselves under me and lifted my body off the comfortable grass. "It'd be better not to stay here tonight. Others might come looking for them." Tokaki had gone back to being sensible, thank Byakko. "And it's… not really a great sight. Tatara, can you find us another place to stop?"   
"I can try. Let's go get the horses." I couldn't see him through the blackness of my eyelids, but somehow I felt his worried gaze on me. "I'll get yours as well."   
"Arigato."   
"Come on you two." Three pairs of feet began to head away from us, crunching small twigs and fallen leaves, their clothing making rustling whispers as it brushed against bushes and trees.   
The warm person carrying me began to walk, jostling me slightly with each step, but consciously trying not to. I felt I could go to sleep there and then, but was determined to hold out until we came to our actual campsite and I could have as proper a bed as we could make out here. He leaned back against something, sending a slight jolt through both of us, then slowly and carefully sat down, propping me up with one arm. I was too tired to try and look around or converse so I just sat there, barely realizing I was in effect sitting _on_ him, and he wasn't keeping me there. Well that was just fine, I was actually getting comfortable.   
"Baka Subaru…" he whispered with surprising feeling, making his voice seem like it was wound tightly as an invisible cord. Warm fingers touched my cheek and stroked it gently, trailing over my entire face, and I was too weak to raise protests… and surprisingly I scarcely wanted to. "Baka Suba-chan."   
Then the echoes of stamping hooves once again penetrated my thoughts and he stood as painstakingly as he'd sat, and I was handed to someone else for a short time - most likely Tatara. Tack clanked and jingled as someone mounted, then I was again passed around, up this time, and made to sit across a horse, leaning back into the person behind me, his arm around my waist to keep me from falling off. Then the entire company went away at a walk from the scene of the encounter.   
Awhile later the men decided we'd gone far enough to be at least mostly out of the way of any scout parties sent to look for our recent acquaintances and we stopped for the night. After a few minutes of murmuring and low talk I was again handed down, but this time I was laid on a blanket that had been spread on the ground and another was draped over me. I felt slight tremors as someone else sat down next to me, and I finally drifted into renewing sleep.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Quick thing: _I'm not just torturing poor Suba-chan!_ I really, seriously sit here and think it out when I decide to have something happen to a character. I think about the strengths and weaknesses of each character and figure out which of them it would be most likely to happen to. And with the way I've written this, a lot of times it's Subaru, simply because she seems to be... not the weakest (DEFINITELY not), but the worst one defensively. So I'm not just doing it to be cruel to her! I love my Suba-chan too much! ~huuuugs Suba-chan~   
And the romance aspect... here's my thinking: "It had to happen sometime." Pre-ordained couple, can't do much about it. It's still pretty fun to write, though ~_~   
~goes back to reading Dave Barry~ 


	10. Chapter 10: A Turn for the Surreal

  
DISCLAIMER: I have discovered a song that is perfect for Tokaki. I have also discovered Fushigi Yugi. No, that does not mean I found it buried in a chest deep in the sand on a desert island (although that would be COOL), but I have discovered it. Note that I do not say I OWN it. Because I don't!   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yeeeeeaaaahhhhhhhh... Sorry this took so long. ~grins sheepishly~ I kinda didn't have a choice... the writer's block's been beating me over the head and slowing down my work rate. Add into that projects, assigned readings, and calculus tests (not to mention nearly running out of gas more than once because I kept forgetting to get gas money -.-;), and you have one crazy schedule. I finally found inspiration again on Wednesday and finished R&R 18, which has been bugging me for a few weeks, and Market 11 is coming along now.   
So... what does that all mean? That updates on most of my things (including R&R, which I only have to proofread) will probably be sproadic - one new thing every week or so, possibly less. I'll try, I really will try to get 'em out quickly, but please don't be angry if I can't.   
In a slightly less depressing train of thought, lemme just say that Into the Woods is one GREAT musical. I finally got to see the entire thing because I borrowed-slash-stole the DVD from my Drama teacher on Friday (I have to give it back though ;_;) and watched it with Gen-chan. She found it amusing as well ~_~ Why don't you check it out? It's really fun!   
Oh yeah, the rating HAS gone up, just to be safe. Please take note.   
Hope you like this chapter! Happy reading!   
~clunks herself over the head to remind her to STOP USING CLICHÉ PHRASES!~   
  


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Three days later, we rode into a small town, dripping wet from a sudden shower and feeling slightly ticked off. There'd been no sign of the enemy since the fight where I was wounded, and we were all a bit confused by that, all of us trying to figure it out. It would make sense to send another party after us immediately, while we were tired and might let our guards down, but no one had come. Perhaps it had been a scouting party. Perhaps rebels. But no, that one who'd attacked me said that if even one of us was dead… Maybe they'd been trying to stir up trouble. Well, _that_ was certainly accomplished.   
"Subaru!" Tatara came running out of an inn we'd found, breaking my reverie, and headed to where I leaned against a wall under an overhanging roof, managing to keep mostly dry. Poor Tatara, as well as everybody else, was soaked to the bone and shivering with the chilly water, but he'd somehow managed to secure an old blanket to hold over himself during his dash to where I'd been left with the horses. "We've got rooms! This way!" He held a portion of the blanket over my head and took a bundle of reins from my slippery grasp, and we jogged to the inn. A couple of scrawny-looking boys met us outside the building, soaked as well but not seeming to care, and took the horses from us and around to the stables in back. For our part, Tatara and I sprinted through the door as fast as we could.   
A warm fire was blazing in the large fireplace and I quickly headed over to it and held out my hands, willing the feeling to come back into them. Tatara went to the bar to talk to the man behind it, folding up the blanket as he went. The fire was nice and hot. I could feel the shivering subsiding.   
There was a pop of air beside me and I glanced over to see Tokaki next to me. I wasn't quite sure what to make of him now; since I'd gotten hurt he'd returned to his normal personality, happily teasing and egging me on, with no hint of awkward feelings on his part. It was more than a little confusing, but I wasn't arguing.   
"That looks like what I want to do right now," he commented, nodding at my hands. I could feel my fingers again, thank Byakko.   
"So do it," I replied promptly. He grinned lopsidedly and crouched by the fire, holding his hands out as I was. He was a bit dryer than the rest of us, as he had the luxury of simply going between buildings while we four searched for a place we could all get rooms, but he'd been in the rain like the everyone else.   
After a few minutes he stood again, stretching and yawning. "Any news? If you're in here, I take it we've found a place."   
I nodded. "Better tell Toroki and Kokie that, before we end up paying twice as much as we need to."   
"Hai, captain!" He disappeared.   
I groaned and rolled my eyes at his weird sense of humor. A hand touched my shoulder and I turned around, looking for whoever wanted my attention. Behind me was a girl about Kokie's or Inoue's age, perhaps a bit younger. She was overweight, but she had a pleasant air about her that gave her a friendly look. "Doulin-san?"   
I blinked at being once again called by my real name, then realized that Tatara must have tried to hide our identities. I prayed that Tokaki wouldn't pop in suddenly and wreck his work. "Hai, that's me."   
"I'm to show you to your room, follow me please." She turned and began crossing the not-very-crowded main room, heading for the stairs at the back. I followed easily, glancing back once or twice to look for the guys, but didn't see them. Tatara wasn't at the bar anymore, and the other three had yet to appear through the doorway.   
I counted ten doors along the hallway and whistled softly; it was a prosperous inn for this far north. No wonder we'd been able to get rooms easily.   
The girl stopped before the third door on the left and pushed it open, gesturing inside. "This is your room. Lanva-san and Kasaru-san will be next door, and Joji-san and Seiki-san across the hall." Huh? Who were Kasaru and Seiki? "You'll find towels on the bed." She bowed politely and went back down the hall, leaving me to sketch a vague bow in her direction and puzzle over the names.   
The room was warm, thankfully, and just as she had said, there were two large towels on one bed. I pulled one around my shoulders immediately, and wrapped the other around my hair, squeezing it to get out as much water as possible. My body performed these tasks automatically though, for my mind was arguing with itself about the names.   
_Do I know those people?   
Probably, otherwise she wouldn't think you had anything to do with them.   
Then who are they?   
OK, go over the facts.   
What facts?   
You know two of the names already.   
Yeah…Lanva and Joji.   
Tokaki and Kokie.   
So are the other two Tatara and Toroki?   
You're talking to yourself, you realize that?_   
I hurriedly ceased the conversation, knowing I didn't want to be driven crazy, much less by myself, and folded the towels again. My bag had been brought up and placed on the small table that was pushed in the corner, and I quickly pulled a spare set of clothing out and started to change. The clothes Tomomi had given me had been invaluable.   
I took a closer look at the room once I was finished. There were two windows, screened over, and candle holders in the walls. The little table had a chair to accompany it, and a second chair was in a separate corner. There were two beds, both pushed against walls. I trailed my fingers over the bedcovers and smiled; they seemed thick and warm, which was all I wanted.   
My spirits dropped a little and the smile disappeared as I glanced at the second bed. Suzuno… if she were with us, like she should have been, she would be sharing the room with me, sleeping in that bed. But if she were with us we probably wouldn't be in this town, having to use these rooms. We had to find her, the sooner, the better.   
A polite knock sounded on my door and Tatara stepped in, smiling a bit tiredly and closing the door behind him. "Feeling better now?"   
"I'm dry, I'm warm, and I can feel all my limbs."   
"I'll take that as a yes then. Toroki and everyone should be here in a minute." He seated himself in the chair next to the table, picking up one of the wet towels and squeezing out his hair as I had.   
I watched him, head titled slightly, brow cocked a bit. "You probably have towels in your room for that, you know."   
"Yes, but it's a bit cold in there."   
"I see. Oh!" I snapped my fingers as I remembered. "I wanted to ask you something. Who are Kasaru and Seiki?"   
He looked at me with an inquiring expression. "How'd you hear those names?"   
"I asked first."   
"So you did." His mouth twisted in a wry smile and he blinked at the floor. "I'm Kasaru, and Toroki is Seiki."   
"How did you know everyone's name?"   
He grinned, a bit smugly. "I asked."   
"Oh, you." I threw a pillow at him, which he easily blocked. "And to answer _your_ question, that girl used them. Trying to keep our profile low?"   
He nodded. "Hai. It seemed smart to me."   
"It probably was. Care to go downstairs and wait for the others?"   
"Why not?"   
  


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Tokaki, Toroki, and Kokie tumbled in (nearly literally) a few minutes after Tatara and I had claimed a table in the main room, soaked and shivering as I had been earlier. The same girl appeared, talked briefly to them while the same two small boys raced upstairs with the bags, dripping water trails on the floor. When they'd raced downstairs and outside again the girl led the other three upstairs. I looked at Tatara and we grinned; the other three were a bit blown over by the whirlwind service and their faces plainly showed it.   
But they were soon back, dry and changed and in a better mood, and we obeyed our stomachs' orders and asked for dinner. Somehow I'd ended up sitting next to Tokaki - again - but I decided not to make a big deal out of it.   
Tokaki pulled out Ebizo's map, which fortunately hadn't been damaged by the rain, and unrolled it in the center of the table. Tatara peered at the line we'd sketched in to show our progress, which hadn't really been all that considerable. "We've gotten into the low hills at last. Heika-sama's scouts have reported a concentration of soldiers just to the north of the central mountains between the borders. That's where they think Taheiji's main camp is. We should probably head east next."   
"A bit north of east should be good," Toroki spoke up. For understandable reasons, he was the only one not looking at the map. "We've been going north for awhile, but not quite long enough. We can avoid the desert now, though, so we should start east as well as north."   
"And just _how_ do you _know_ this?" Tokaki inquired.   
"I'm blind, I'm not stupid."   
"Oh hush you two. You're like little kids. Let's see…" I scanned the map quickly, then placed my finger on one of the dots. "We're here. The central mountains are… here." I pointed to a section just north of the tallest of the mountains, and estimated the distance between them. "It should take us another four days to get there."   
"Five." We all looked in surprise at Kokie. Usually he was very quiet, reserving most of his talk for me or Toroki, who he seemed to get along with well. I didn't remember him speaking up in the full group before this. He turned a bit red as we all focused on him, but he kept going. "The terrain so far has been relatively smooth and straight. In the hills and mountains you often have to go out of your way to get to where you want. It's just the way it is."   
I nodded. "Five, then. Possibly six, if we get hung up anywhere. Poor Suzuno…"   
The conversation died for a minute as the girl brought our food to us and we dug in eagerly, the riding and the rain having increased our appetites to unheard of proportions.   
Then I realized we had no drinks. I swallowed quickly and looked around for that girl, but she was nowhere to be seen. It seemed I would have to be a barmaid for one night. "All right, what would everyone like?"   
"You."   
I smacked him, hard. The others just laughed and told me what they wanted to drink, and I approached the bar.   
We weren't the only ones there by a long shot, but neither was it crowded. Almost half of the tables were occupied, mostly by small groups or the occasional pair. There was an old man at one end of the bar, and a man who looked a bit older than Tatara about three-fourths of the way down the other way. I leaned against the bar about halfway between them, watching for someone to come out so I could place our order.   
After a minute I became aware of a pair of eyes watching me. That creepy feeling was running up and down my spine, but it didn't seem threatening. Just… observing. I casually flicked my gaze to my right and left, searching for the watcher. The other seishi were happily arguing over their food at the table, gesturing at the map but remembering not to shout. One or two other people watched them amusedly, but most of the others were concentrating on their own things. The old man to my left was staring into his cup, but to my right I caught the young man looking back at his plate, raising his cup to his mouth.   
_Ah… so it was him._   
Being warm, dry, and fed had put me in a better mood, and I slid onto a stool near him, ready to hear someone else's voice, someone that WASN'T a seishi. "Do you know how long the innkeeper will be?"   
He spluttered and spit out his mouthful of liquid, coughing violently. I blinked in surprise as he hit himself on the chest, trying to clear his airway. "Are… Are you all right?" I watched him worriedly, trying to figure out what to do if he suddenly stopped breathing.   
Fortunately he waved his hand at me and nodded, coughing again but not very violently. I kept my eye on him, ready to at least _try_ something if he relapsed, but he sat up straighter on his stool and gave me a sheepish grin. "Daijobu… You surprised me."   
"I'm sorry I made you choke." I gave him a tentative smile, trying to apologize, and his face brightened. "You don't happen to have the answer to my question though, do you?"   
Now it was his turn to blink. "What…? Oh, no, I don't know. But… I've gotta say this, you look great."   
_Oh FREAKIN' no… Another Tokaki!_   
"I mean, it's been what, six years or so? You've grown up well."   
_Uhhhhh…… Help here, wake UP Subaru, what's he talking about?_   
He watched me as I tried to figure out just where he was coming up with these things, a grin slowly spreading over his face. "You don't remember me, do you?"   
"I… I _know_ you?" I replied rather stupidly, pointing at him (again rather stupidly). "Do I?"   
_Wonderful Subaru, you're just a river of creativity tonight._   
I smacked the pesky inner voice into submission as he laughed. I was kinda miffed about him laughing, but it wasn't teasing, just the funny-type of laughing. "Yes, you do, but I guess you don't remember… My family moved away awhile ago, you weren't even a teenager yet, I think you'd barely gotten into double digits when we left… It's Gidayu."   
_Gidayu… Gidayu…_ I searched the cupboards of my mind for something associated with that name. It seemed to be familiar… AHH! THERE!   
I pulled up a picture I'd had stored away for years, of a skinny, lanky, stick-thin boy about two or three years older than myself… One of Bokkai's friends. The boy was standing in Dou-san's import/export shop, looking around at the new things from Konan and Hokkan while Bokkai chattered excitedly away at him about how much they cost to buy and how much they were going to sell for… Dou-san's little apprentice all the time. His brown hair was messy and unkempt and his gray eyes were wide with awe. He had a small scar from one of the few times he and Bokkai fought, on his jawbone right next to his ear… I checked, and sure enough, that scar was there. Barely visible, but there.   
"You've grown up too," I squeaked, just a _bit_ overwhelmed at finding a long-lost acquaintance while on seishi business. He still didn't have much muscle on him, but his hair was neat and trimmed now, and his eyes seemed much more mature. I realized my initial impression, that he was older than Tatara, had been wrong; something had given him the look of aged maturity. Probably the work he'd gone into, Kaa-san had said if a person didn't like what he was doing for a living he'd age before his time.   
Then I realized I'd sounded like a complete idiot.   
"Yes, it's really been awhile. Why are you out here? You're not alone, are you?" He was immediately concerned, glancing around as if somehow he could pick out my companions by some invisible signal.   
"No no, I'm not alone, my friends are over there." I turned to point at our table, then turned bright red and groaned as I saw Tokaki attempting to hit Toroki for something - I didn't want to know _what_ - and repeatedly missing, Toroki taunting him on. "Oh Byakko…"   
"They seem like a… lively group."   
"Thank you for being tactful."   
"It's the least I could do."   
"I'll be right back." I slid off the stool and marched back to the others, glaring murder at them.   
Only Toroki seemed to notice me coming, though. He turned and grinned cheerfully. "New boyfriend, Subaru?"   
"I will not hesitate to smack you as well." And then, just to prove my point, I did.   
"Itai!" He rubbed his ear and frowned. "What'd I do?"   
I leaned over to whisper in his ear, not wanting others to eavesdrop. "First, don't call me that. No one here knows who we are, we don't want to attract unnecessary attention. Second, he's _not_ my boyfriend, he's a friend of my brother's who moved away awhile ago and we just realized we knew each other. Third, _stop embarrassing me!_" I raised my voice on the last line so Tokaki could hear as well. "You're acting like toddlers, can we have _one hour_ where you two don't try and annoy each other? For _once?_" I glared at them both. Kokie was watching gleefully and Tatara was trying to hide a smirk.   
Then I noticed the pot of tea on the table, and five cups stacked next to it, and expanded my glare to fit all of them. The other two joined Toroki and Tokaki in shrinking. "When did that get there?"   
No one answered.   
"I'm going to find out one way or another, you might want to make it less painful for yourself…"   
"I-It came right after you left, Subaru-san…" Kokie piped up hesitantly. "They wanted to see how long you'd stay up there…"   
I glared at the three of them, mostly at Tokaki, who I knew was undoubtedly the largest cause behind this. Then I took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, closing my eyes. Letting it out in a rush I sat down in my seat, determined to keep a leash on all of them. If they needed someone to be their mother, then so be it. I picked up my chopsticks again and resumed eating my dinner, which had cooled considerably. They watched me warily for a minute before slowly following my example. All of them had the decency to hang their heads in submission as they ate except Tokaki, who kept mildly smirking at me in the corner of my eye.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"So, what brings you this far from home? You all _are_ still living in the same house, aren't you?"   
I'd joined Gidayu at the bar again as fast as I could after I finished eating, ignoring the other seishi past glaring at them once again. I was sick and tired of their childish behavior. Yes, the day had been long, trying, and not at all pleasant, but that was NO EXCUSE to be so _stupid_ in public.   
I scrambled for a reply that would be at least semi-plausible. "We're, ahh… on our way to… visit a friend of ours!" I groaned inwardly. I was _so bad_ at telling a convincing lie! "She's… up near the border, this was the quickest way to come."   
_That's right Subaru, Doulin, or whatever else you call yourself. Stick close to the facts. That way it'll be easier to keep a straight face._   
Why was my inner voice being so vocal tonight?   
Fortunately half of Gidayu's attention had been taken up in accepting a fresh pot of tea and two clean cups from the man who now stood behind the bar. "Arigato." He unstacked the cups and carefully poured the rich green tea into them, making miniature waterfalls in the air. Good, he'd been sufficiently distracted to not notice my little slip-ups. "A friend, eh? What's her name? I might know of her."   
"You probably wouldn't, she's only been up there a little while… And she lives in a really small village, we're not even sure just where it is. Oh, thank you." I accepted the proffered cup and took a small sip, making a face at its bitterness. "What's in this?"   
"Oh, this is a local blend. It takes a bit of getting used to, but it grows on you." I noticed he could swallow the stuff down without wincing at the taste, and decided he was probably right. The palace tea tasted differently than anything we'd drunk at home, it seemed each region even in one country had its own special recipe. I decided to go ahead and get used to it and took another sip. "If you all are going to the border or thereabouts, I'd be extremely careful." Gidayu's face, which before had been so mobile, now froze into a mask of solemnity. "We've heard of the Kutou soldiers massing at the border, and in the nights sometimes you think you hear the thundering of hooves over the grass… I don't know if you realize it or not, but right now we're about as close to the war zone as you can be and be safe. You're taking a terrible risk going into that area right now…"   
"Well, we have to," I shot back defensively. "We screwed up and now we're going to go fix things." I scowled into the green liquid in my cup, then took a long drink to prevent myself from starting to yell at him. He meant well, after all. "Hey, this stuff isn't half bad…"   
"No, not really."   
"But isn't the war at a stand-still? Neither side has troops to throw at each other, so that makes it better to travel now. And I thought most of the confrontations were south of the desert." Where Bokkai died…   
He sighed and shook his head. "Doulin-chan, you don't understand. There are all sorts of thieves and bandits running loose out there now. They _were_ honest men, most of them with families, but this is the only way they can survive now. The war made them homeless, took almost everything they had. And then there are the scouts from either army. They're moving north. You could do it, yes, and people _do_ do it, but it's not a risk I would run right now if I were you."   
"Well, you're not," I replied with a huff, and immediately winced. I set my cup down on the scarred wooden bar and placed a hand on his forearm. "Gomen nasai… I didn't mean to be harsh… but we don't really have any other choice." We had to get back Suzuno, no matter what the cost.   
He looked at me for a long moment, not calculating but not innocently either, almost judging me. The silence grew uncomfortable, and I cautiously sipped from my tea again. "Well…" I jumped a bit, making the tea slosh around and almost above the rim. "why are you going there?"   
I sighed, putting my elbows on the bar and slumping forward until the cup touched my forehead. "It's a long… _long_ story…"   
"...I get it. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."   
"Thank you. That makes it so much easier."   
"Probably does. How much do you know of the war, Doulin-chan?"   
_Stay shut, mouth. You know too much for just a common girl._   
He took my silence as a sign that I wasn't that well informed, which had been true, until I'd gotten to the palace. He started to speak and I was content to let him; he might know something more than Ebizo and heika-sama did, although I doubted it. But never turn down a lead. "Word's come up from the south that they're out of men. And the Kutou just seem to keep coming and coming… but this time they're coming up here, trying to enter above the mountain range, where its less sparsely populated… There is no army anymore. We'll be crushed if something doesn't happen, and quickly. Byakko, if ever we could use the miko and the seishi-"   
I spluttered in complete surprise, spitting out the tea in my mouth. Did he know?! Did he have some clue?! Oh Byakko, how was I going to cover _that?!_ All those nice cheerful thoughts were going through my head as I coughed uncontrollably, trying to breathe freely again, and make my eyes somewhat of a normal size. They were about as big as saucers at the moment. They squeezed shut as I felt water in the corner of my eyes, refusing to let myself cry. I _hated_ when I started choking.   
"Doulin-chan! Doulin-chan, are you all right?!" My mind finally registered Gidayu's voice and face, hovering anxiously over me. It was a twisted replay of the opening of our first conversation in six years.   
I copied him and waved him away, regaining my breath through sheer will. "Hai, I'm fine… Just… Just realized something." Bing! Idea.   
"Nani?" He didn't sit down right away, but he would in a minute…   
"Well… there's something pretty important you should know…" Oh no, my voice was trying to waver again. _Why did everything that happened in this one single day have to annoy me?!_ "Bokkai…"   
"What about Bokkai?"   
I took a deep breath and looked straight at him. "He's dead. In the south. In the war."   
He sat.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
After he recovered from the shock of hearing about his friend, and giving me the stereotypical condolences (although his were truly sincere), I forcefully turned the conversation into almost a gossip session about his old acquaintances from home. It's amazing how long six years of catch-up can last. Marriages, deaths, births, even updates on old feuds seem like they'd be easy to describe, but when as much time had passed as it had with him, it takes a while to get through everything.   
Most of the other patrons had left as I relayed the news, the girl was wiping off the tables, and there were five mismatched teapots in front of us when I wrapped up. My vision seemed a bit blurred and I blinked my eyes, trying to clear them. Then I realized that my mind was also operating slower than usual, and I was determined to go to sleep as soon as Gidayu left. It had been a long day, after all. Yep, a long day… Just like it was a long story…   
Long day… sleep…   
What the heck…? Darkness? But it was light in the room…   
…   
Then there was something on my shoulder… felt kinda like a hand… yeah, that's what it was. It was surprisingly hard to talk, I couldn't seem to open my mouth all the way… "G'way, Tokaki…"   
"Doulin-chan!" It was a male voice, but… I didn't think it was Tokaki… Tokaki didn't have that wide a range… whee, it went from low to high really quickly… up and down and up and down and up… "Doulin-chan! Wake up!" …and down and up and down… and up…   
Wait… was that thunder? It sounded like it… But no, they were too close together… horses? But we were inside… were we? It felt really warm.   
Then more horses, then another voice… a lotta cursing… hee hee, that had to be Tokaki, but his was doing the funny up and down thing also… It was actually kinda cute… and more cursing… "Doulin?! Doulin?! Shit, Doulin, _what did you think you were doing?!_ How'd this happen?!"   
"G'way Tokaki." I was tired. Couldn't he let me sleep for once?   
"Shit, you manage to make everything happen to _you_, don't you? What'll you do to yourself next?"   
I finally figured out why it was hard to open my mouth: I'd had the entire left side of my face flat on the bar. Jaw movement was kind of hindered. But my arm definitely wasn't. When I felt someone trying to pick me up I swung at them immediately. They dropped me back on my stool and I curled up again, perfectly content. There was some yelling, some muffled cursing, and then I was grabbed around the waist. My arms were pinned to my sides, I was lifted bodily from my stool, and carried kicking up the stairs.   
During all this at some point I opened my eyes and _made_ the world around me come out of its fuzzy state, and I saw an exasperated Tatara next to my door, holding it open. I tried to kick my captor again but somehow he either didn't feel the shoes connecting with his knees or managed to make parts of himself disappear.   
"What is it _now?_" I focused on identifying speakers. Tatara.   
"She's _drunk_." Tokaki.   
A groan. Tatara. "What was she saying about acting like toddlers?"   
Then I was dumped on my bed and someone left the room. I couldn't really tell who left because the room spinning around me was strangely fascinating. Around and around and around… But then the nice warm presence at the side of the bed started to walk away. Not if I had a say in it.   
I lunged. I think I got his wrist.   
"You're _really_ bad, aren't you?"   
"Whatcha mean?" My voice was perfect, his was still waving along.   
"Must be your first time then. Look, you need to sleep this off. So give me back my hand and _sleep_." He attempted to pull away, but I dug in my fingers and refused to let go.   
"No. You staying."   
I tried to focus on him, and discovered an interesting thing. When I compared the current picture of Tokaki to others I dragged up from somewhere in my mind, he seemed a lot darker around the face. And he was. He seemed redder now, and his eyes were strangely serious. If I didn't know better (and I wasn't sure that at that point I didn't), I would've said he looked like a wild animal. He wasn't scared (Tokaki scared? You've gotta be kidding). He was almost… holding himself back?   
"You staying."   
He twinned and tripled then merged into one again before my eyes, but he sat on the edge of my bed, kind of close. But I didn't mind. In fact, it was a good thing, less distance for me to move. I used his arm as leverage and pulled myself up to half-sit, half-lie next to him, happily burying my face in his shoulder and snuggling in. So warm.   
He said something under his breath that I didn't catch, then what kind of sounded like the same thing a bit louder. I opened my eyes to watch him curiously, and he was apparently having some kind of internal debate, because he'd almost start to move, then he'd stop, then he'd start again… it was confusing. "What you doing?"   
"Shit…" He glanced down at me. He looked almost crazed. "Damnit…"   
"You sick?" I asked, only minorly worried; for the most part the fact that Tokaki might be sick didn't seem to register.   
"Damnit all to hell…"   
"_You sick?_"   
"I can't go on like this…"   
"Can't go on like what?"   
Yep, he was crazed. He proved it by suddenly grabbing me by the shoulders and pushing me back, though fortunately for him not violently, making me lie down, all rather quickly. The room still hadn't completely righted itself when I found him half on top of me, holding my upper arms tight in his hands, kissing me almost frenziedly.   
Warm…   



	11. Chapter 11: Explanation Needed

  
DISCLAIMER: No own. Nope. Nada. Zero. Zilch.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yeah... transition chapter -.- Necessary evil. This is more a wrap-up/set-up chapter than an action chapter, with much discussion and thinking and a bit of an overuse of italics. Ahh well, they have to pop up once in awhile, ne?   
Heh heh heh... Subaru seems to be acquiring some "bad language habits" from Tokaki as well as a few other things... O.o The girl's got her own ideas I guess, I can't control her! I can never control my characters!   
One request to everyone: when you drive/start driving, please please please please PLEASE check and make sure that _no one around you wants to turn._ Reason for this: I was coming home today from the library and I came to a four-way stop, my left turn blinker was on, which should obviously mean that I wanted to turn! It's not that hard to figure out! Anyway, the guy in front of me goes, the guy across from me goes, the guy to my left goes, there's no one to my right, so I start to make my turn - and nearly end up hitting this car who didn't decide to check and see if I was turning -.- Baka yaro... I had some colorful language of my own for him. Anyway, please everyone make sure and be careful, getting in an accident is NOT fun (I was last in one when I was four and Mom hit a mailbox, and I still remember how not fun it was). Thus ends Kaze-chan's PSA for the Day. ~_~   
Much thanks to my SLPRs (Spastic Little Pre-Readers ~_~ I think you know who you are) for telling me this chapter did not suck. I needed it. ~glomps all her SLPRs~   
Ahhh, one last note ~winks~ For those of you who think I don't update this much... not by some people's standards. I can't write a chapter in three days (usually) and I put it through the spell/grammar-check wringer many many many times. And I have quite a few things I'm usually updating at the same time, so I'll do one this time, than another one the next... Unless it's a rare slow spell for me, my oldest update was most likely at most a week or so before ~_~ That being said, thank you everyone for reading and wanting me to update more often! I love all you guys! ~glomps them as well~ We're all one big glompin' bunch! ~_~ All right, I am _not_ that insane...   
See ya minna!   
  


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_Owowowowowowowowowowow…_   
Waking up with a splitting headache is NOT the best way to start the morning.   
The light from the window fell in diamonds over the floor and my bed, one landing right on my eyes and making me turn over and bury my head under the blankets. Was sunlight supposed to hurt that much? It seemed to burn into my eyes and make them water, trying to cool them off. The headache was made worse simply by _thinking_ about it, and I decided that now was the time for those herbs.   
I braced myself, took a deep breath, and threw off the blankets. Keeping my eyes closed, I sat up and swung my feet off the bed. I pressed my hand against my temple to try and quiet the pain momentarily and pushed myself up to stand on my feet, opening my eyes to see any obstacles in my way.   
The first thing I noticed when I was all the way up was that I was still in my daytime clothes. The second was how bad the condition they were in was.   
I stared down, trying to figure out how they'd gotten so rumpled and wrinkled. While I hadn't fallen asleep in my clothes much, it _had_ happened, like that time after I was wounded. Even then, when they'd been torn and ragged at the shoulder, they hadn't been as bad as they were now. They were generally - I blushed at the thought - too tight to get wrinkled much, the cloth simply couldn't fold on its own. So _how_, in the name of Byakko, had this happened?   
I heard a small sound, the sound of someone shifting under a blanket. Almost dreading what I would find, I slowly turned, keeping my hand pressed against my head. And there, sleeping peacefully in the other bed, was Tokaki.   
_No…_   
I tried to step back unconsciously, but the bed was in the way, and I fell to sit on it. Stunned. Unbelieving. And yes, afraid. I was afraid of what his being there meant… Afraid of _him._   
He looked so peaceful in the light, all lines of stress gone from his face as he slept, childlike in his apparent innocence. But pictures began to come back to me, of the night before… where he hadn't been so innocent.   
And neither had I.   
"No," I whispered. "No… No…"   
The headache was all but forgotten as my hands moved to press themselves against my mouth, my head turning back and forth minutely but my eyes never leaving him. Were they really true, these flashes of memories or dreams I was seeing? I couldn't remember much of the night before… The day was clear: the rain, the ride, the inn, the dinner, the pranks, Gidayu. It was when I was talking to Gidayu, gossiping, that I began having trouble remembering. Everything became fuzzier and fuzzier, until finally it was too blurred to make out more than a few pieces: being carried up the stairs, both Tatara and Tokaki being annoyed with me, clinging to Tokaki, and…   
_NO!_   
Tokaki let out a strangled yelp as eyes flew open and he sat up in his bed, looking everywhere frantically. "_Subaru!_ Gods, Subaru!" He stopped flying around everywhere as he caught sight of me, and heaved a huge sigh of relief. "Oh thank Byakko… I thought you'd been taken like Suzuno. A dream I guess…" He sighed again and flopped to lie flat on his back on his bed, arms splayed at his sides. "Just a dream…"   
"No…" I whispered, so quietly I almost couldn't hear myself. My eyes began to tear and I hurriedly squeezed them shut, I would _not_ be weak in front of him. Not him… _Never him, DAMNIT!!!_   
"Subaru?"   
"NO!"   
Tokaki flinched back, eyes wide in amazement. "My god, Subaru, what is it?" he threw off the blankets and leapt out of the bed and to my side. Even in my consternation I realized he was only wearing a worn set of pants, the same he'd worn the day before… no shirt was secured over his broad, muscled chest. It only served to reaffirm my suspicions. "Subaru? Are you all right?" He lowered himself to my level and attempted to put a hand on my shoulder, but I sprang back to crash against the wall with a loud bang as if his touch was fire. I couldn't control myself; even when I had scrambled back as far as I could go my legs kept pushing, kicking the blankets and sheets away, my hands kept scrabbling for some hold they could use to pull myself farther and farther away from my tormentor, as far as I damn well could get. All the while I was murmuring and whimpering, all variations of "no", "it's not true", or "it couldn't". Tokaki just stared at me with wide eyes, stunned.   
He slowly stood, regarding me warily, as one would regard a mad dog they were fearful of making attack - or run away. "Subaru…? What's… what's wrong?"   
"It didn't happen… It didn't happen… It didn't happen…"   
"What didn't happen?"   
"_IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!_"   
"Subaru!" He started forward as if to pin me down, but I grabbed my pillow and began, well… beating him with it. Hard.   
"Get back! Stay away! Don't you _touch_ me!" I screamed, as if _I_ was the one being attacked, when really Tokaki was trying to shield his head with his arms and get out of range, but for some reason I wouldn't let him and just kept beating him. I can only suppose that I was going out of my mind. We must've made quite a sight, him cowering, me shrieking, and not quietly either. Then my subconscious had to add in _her_ bit.   
_Subaru, he's trying to say something. SHUT UP ALREADY!_   
I got a firm grip on my self-control and slowly stopped laying about me with the pillow, quieting my voice with a mental squash and tuning my ears to the sound of the words coming from the huddle on the floor. "Will you just tell me what you're talking about?"   
When I regained my self-control I lost my strength. Somehow I could barely find the energy to talk. "Last night… It didn't happen…"   
"Which part? Where you got stone drunk?"   
My eyes widened slightly in amazement and I felt my mouth go a little slack in surprise. I let go of the pillow as my fingers loosened and it fell to the bed beside me with a soft _flop._ "I… was drunk?"   
"Yes, did you _just now figure it out?!_" He began to slowly uncurl from his defensive position, muttering something under his breath.   
"Oh," I said in a small voice. No wonder my memory was hazy. And a few other things were explained as well, like the headache that came hammering back into my brain. Then those extremely fuzzy memories again presented themselves to me and I blushed furiously. They sure didn't feel like they'd been a dream. "No…"   
"Not again… now what?"   
"It didn't happen…"   
"Byakko, _really_ not again…" He groaned loudly. "Look, don't freak out, I think you've been screaming enough to wake up the entire building already." He cautiously stood up, but I was in no position to attack him again. I had pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, burying my face in my skirt and crying softly. "Subaru? Are you all right?"   
"I'm dirty… I'm trash… I'm-"   
"_No._" The amount of feeling in his voice surprised me; it sounded almost as if he'd explode. He quickly knocked the pillow out of the way and sat next to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and hugging me tightly, ignoring my squeak of protest. "No you're not. You think that happened? It didn't."   
All thought currently coming to a screeching halt.   
_What?!_   
"Wha…?" I pushed away from him enough that I could turn my face up to see him. "Tokaki, what…?"   
He was entirely too red. However, it made him look more sincere. He refused to turn his gaze to meet mine, but his voice didn't quiver as he spoke. "Last night was strange. You were… not acting like yourself. You probably don't remember much. Gods, I couldn't help it, I tried to help it and stop myself, but you were there and no one else was and you just looked so damn… No no no, let me finish. I tried to leave but you wouldn't let me and you started using me as a pillow and I lost control. Plain and simple. It's happened before, but not with a girl who was drunk and didn't know what she was doing. No, don't look at me like that. I'll spare you the details, but we started kissing, and clothing started coming off… and then I remembered just _what_ you would do if anything really did happen, and I just threw myself away from you. You were so far gone you didn't notice it, and I tried to get you dressed as well as I could and then climbed into the other bed to make sure you were all right during the night. And that's it."   
I could only stare at him. Was he really, seriously telling the truth? "How… how did it get that far in the first place?"   
"You fell over at the bar while you were talking to your friend, and they came to get me and Tatara, thinking you were sick. But when I got down there it was pretty obvious you were just drunk. That tea you were drinking had something in it. Your friend tried to pick you up to carry you upstairs, but you hauled off and socked him in the nose and then simply lay back down again. You got him pretty good, it started to bleed. By then I was getting exasperated and so I just picked you up and brought you up here and dropped you on your bed, told you to sleep, and started to leave. But then you grabbed my hand and told me to stay…"   
"Oh gods…" It was because of _me_ that last night had happened. Because of me… "Byakko…"   
He sighed. "You don't believe me, do you? Look, go to a doctor if you want, they can tell you nothing happened. Besides, follow my reasoning. You'd take my damn head off if it did, and I like it where it is, thank you very much."   
That much was true. I fell silent and looked at my feet, deliberating this quite unexpected turn of events. Tokaki restraining from… that? Maybe he had more honor than I gave him credit for… either that or a great will to live. "How…" This would be slightly awkward, but it was bugging me. "How did my clothes get so wrinkled?"   
The morning sun made it _very_ easy to see the new blush that sprang to his face. "I'm good at getting females' clothing _off_ them. Not getting it back _on_ again."   
"Oh."   
"Yeah. _Oh._"   
We slipped into silence, and not an easy one either. I was unconsciously inching away from Tokaki, just a _bit_ uncomfortable near him. My thoughts were either racing fast as speeding horses or crawling stagnant as mud, and most of them centered on him. If all that he was saying happened in just one night, despite the alcohol, could I really trust myself around him? I didn't even _like_ him like that… I shoved all thoughts of our previous kiss out of my head as I debated. He was a pervert, a jerk, an idiot, and _why was he still there?!_   
"Umm, Tokaki?"   
"Hai?"   
"Could you… get out of here please?"   
He blinked in my direction but I remained looking at the floor and gave no other statement. "Subaru… why?"   
"Just… just do it, please?"   
He looked at me for another moment, then sighed heavily and slid off the bed. "All right, if you say so." He clomped quietly across the room, only stopping to bend down and retrieve his shirt from the middle of the floor and pull it on again. He yanked the blankets to lie relatively neatly on the other bed, the one he'd been using, before coming back to me. I hadn't moved a muscle. "You know…" he began tentatively, "none of this was your fault."   
I said nothing.   
He knelt in front of me, trying to catch my eyes, but I just turned them to the side. He sighed again. "Just believe me, okay? You didn't do anything wrong."   
"Yes I did," I whispered.   
"No you did _not_." He grabbed my chin and made me look in his direction. I closed my eyes rapidly. "I can't _make_ you believe me, you've just got to trust me on this. You did _nothing_ wrong."   
"Just go…"   
There was one tense moment of silence. "All right," he said at last. "I will."   
But he didn't. Instead, my chin was tilted up and he pressed his lips to mine once again, softly, but even with as little experience as I had in this situation I could tell it was full of meaning. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him, and I didn't protest, because it felt… good. Right. This was…   
When he pulled away I almost began to cry. "I'm not such a bad guy, you know." His voice was no more than a breathy whisper.   
Then he was gone.   
_GGGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!_   
  


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A couple of hours later we had the horses saddled and ready to go. Two distinct feelings could be detected in the air about our group: joking and awkward. Apparently something had happened in Toroki's and Kokie's room the night before, because the two of them were laughing together, grinning and having a great time, and Kokie would even spontaneously chase Toroki around the yard a little. I smiled when I saw that; Kokie seemed to be making friends at last. He was a nice boy; he just needed to be brought out of his shell. Toroki might be able to do that.   
The three older ones of us, however…   
I couldn't face Tokaki, no matter how hard I tried to make myself. It just wasn't working. Tokaki kept glancing at me in a concerned manner, but my gaze would always be directed at the ground, or my saddle, or Tatara. I stuck close to Tatara, clinging like a burr. And for his part, he seemed to know that something had gone on that neither of us would discuss; he kept glancing down at me, or over at Tokaki, as if he was about to ask a question, but he would grimace slightly and restrain. I was fairly sure he was the only other one who knew about my little… problem the night before, and being Tokaki's roommate he must have noticed that he hadn't come back to sleep. Under the circumstances I couldn't have blamed him if his curiosity had gotten the better of him and he had demanded an answer to his questions. But his self-control was amazing and I could only be thankful.   
We bid good-bye to our hosts (the innkeeper, the girl, and the two small boys) and set off, Tatara and I in the lead and Toroki, Kokie, and Tokaki following. Tokaki had decided to join in their joking and pushing around rather than deal with me.   
Tatara was setting the pace and picking our trail. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that for awhile that if took me a few minutes to notice the scenery around us looked familiar.   
I blinked and glanced around, and sure enough, we were riding back the way we had approached the town the night before. There wasn't any reason to be doing that… "Tatara?"   
"So you're ready to speak now?"   
I blushed furiously and looked down. "Why are we going back the way we came?"   
I could almost feel the disappointment radiating from him that I hadn't slipped into a tear-filled confession about the night before, but didn't say anything else. After a moment, he replied "Your friend Gidayu offered to show us a better trail last night."   
"He did? When?" He hadn't said anything to _me_ about a better trail… or maybe he had and I just couldn't remember, which was a possibility.   
"After Tokaki… brought you up, I went down to see if I could perform damage control. What did you tell him last night when you were talking? About our mission?"   
"Um… I told him we were going to visit a friend who'd moved near the border I think, why?"   
He gave me a sidelong glance. "He seemed pretty perceptive… seemed to look at me differently than you'd look at a normal person. _Would you shut up back there?!_" The last comment he yelled at the three following us, who were being noisy enough to scare a small tiger. They meekly quelled into submission and he shook his head, then returned to our conversation. "He might know more than we want him to… Do you trust him? _Is_ he trustworthy? This far east anyone could be a spy…"   
I shook my head. "Not him. He hates the Kutou… and if he knows, he won't give it away." I laughed nervously once or twice. "I admit, I may have let a couple of hints slip… I'm no good at lying or acting normal when things aren't. But he'll help us, if he can. Especially after Bokkai."   
"You keep saying that name, but you never say who it is or what's so important about it. Who is it? Someone close to you?"   
I turned to watch Tatara closely. He simply regarded me back calmly, waiting for an answer. In some ways he was much like my brother, in some ways very very different… but he was probably the best person I had to confess to at the moment. I hadn't told anyone but Suzuno about Bokkai, and she wasn't there. We couldn't keep our pasts secret from each other forever. "He was my brother."   
"Was?"   
"Yes… He was a genuinely good person, maybe the best I knew, certainly better than me. He protected me so much throughout the years and almost raised me in some aspects. A little more than a year ago, he signed up to serve in the army. He was given armor, sent to the south, and… my parents still have the notification." There. He knew.   
"My… My gods… I'm sorry Subaru, I really am." Tatara looked stricken, as if Bokkai has also been his friend. That was one of the best things about him; he could feel genuine sympathy and concern and express it. It was a welcome change from so many others' reactions, that always sounded empty… "So that's why you're so passionate about this…"   
"Revenge? No, that isn't what I want… we all knew it _could_ happen, we just didn't think it _would_. Truth to tell, it's amazing he lasted as long as he did, what with the dwindling numbers and all…" My vision began to blur yet again, but my voice remained thankfully steady. It was all true after all; we'd known there was a possibility, a high one, he wouldn't come back. It just made me respect him more. "But I've gotta make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else." I smiled weakly. "And then when I hear the _stupid_ reasons this war was started, everything just seems to look so much worse and blacker than it really is and I kind of lose control…"   
"It's perfectly all right for that to happen; you've suffered a lot. It wouldn't be _right_ if you didn't explode every once in awhile. Just try not to hurt anyone when you do, all right?" I saw the corners of his mouth twitch upward in a smile, and felt my own facial muscles responding in kind. Things weren't so bad after all…   
I cleared my throat, drawing his full attention again. "Now, perhaps you can tell me a bit about yourself? My curiosity hates to be kept waiting."   
He laughed softly, smiling again. "Why not? Born outside the city, but not too far away, less than half a day's ride. I wasn't as lucky as you, I had no siblings to spend time with, and there weren't many other children around." That accounted for his maturity then. "My mother died when I was young and my father did his best to raise me. That's about it, I've had a dull life so far. Until Suzuno showed up, that is." I glanced up quickly, and sure enough his face had begun to fall at the mention of Suzuno's name. If I was right, and the two of them actually admitted it out loud, before all this was over there'd be two people bonded to each other as strongly as I'd ever seen. And the fact that the person he probably thought of as his other half was gone was killing him. I made a silent vow to myself to lock the two of them in a closet or something when we got her back and refuse to let them out until they'd confessed their feelings; all their prancing around was ridiculous. They just needed a helping hand.   
A few more minutes passed, which I spent sitting lazily in my saddle and listening to the morning birds and other animals, the wind in the trees (which still hadn't disappeared, much to my amazement), and the playful bickering behind me. It was peaceful this far away; it was hard to believe that just a few days' ride away lay a nation that wanted us destroyed.   
There was a rustle of cloth next to me and Tatara sat up straighter, extending his arm to point to something to the right of the road: a small, well-traveled path that led off into the trees. I turned and squinted, trying to see through the mass of foliage, and could barely make out something dark gray in the distance, but not all that far away. I looked at Tatara and he wordlessly nodded, and I turned my horse down the path, the others following.   
The path wound around the tree trunks out of pure necessity; whoever had made it hadn't thought it being straight was more important than saving energy by not cutting trees. As we meandered around the obstacles the gray thing would go in and out of sight like a slight-of-hand trick, but finally we came into a clearing and saw what we had been aiming for. A small but sturdy old house stood there, its weathered wood walls and slate tile roof giving it the gray tinge that could be seen from far away. It was possibly the oldest building I'd ever seen, but it looked incredibly stable.   
"Tatara, what's going on?" Tokaki reigned in his horse as he rode up on Tatara's other side, watching his friend closely. "Shouldn't we be going east? We went southwest again, which make absolutely no freakin' sense, and why are we standing outside of buildings again? Haven't we done that enough already?"   
Tatara just rolled his eyes and refused to answer. I heard a snort from behind us and turned back to see Toroki and Kokie sitting sort of hunched over in their saddles, shoulders shaking slightly. Maybe they'd gotten hold of a bag of sugar…   
My head snapped back to face front as the door opened, and Gidayu stepped out with a wave. I winced; even from ten feet away it was easy to see the dark bruise right in the middle of his face. "Oops…"   
"Apparently you have a strong fist even when half asleep, Subaru," Tatara muttered to me, plainly trying to hide a grin. I glared at him.   
Gidayu, however, seemed not to take any notice of it (the bruise or our conversation, if you could call it one) and strolled over, smiling easily. "Hello, all. Since you're here I guess you've decided to take me up on my offer."   
"Offer? What offer?"   
Tatara rolled his eyes again. "Lanva, either make intelligent comments, which I sometimes doubt you're capable of, or _shut up_. I would've told you if you'd have stopped behaving like the toddler Doulin said you were last night. Gidayu-san knows the trails around here, certainly a lot better than we do, and last night he said he'd show us a better way to take. It could reduce our trip by a full day." He gave Tokaki a hard look that not only forbade any arguing but also scared Tokaki into shrinking back an inch or two by sheer venom. I was distinctly impressed; so far none other than myself had managed to make that happen. Tatara took a moment to make his face relax, then turned back to Gidayu. "Can you tell us where the path is?"   
"I can do better than that, I'll show you myself. Just one moment…" He twisted to look behind him, then shook his head. "I'll be right back."   
He took off at a nice, easy jog around the building, but stopped short fairly fast as a young woman with black hair, maybe a year or so older than me, came around the corner leading a fairly perky-looking horse, completely outfitted for riding. She controlled the prancing horse with a deft hand, better than any of us seishi at least.   
Gidayu's face brightened as she approached him, holding out the reins and saying something too softly for us to catch at thirty feet away. He nodded and spoke back, to which she smiled and gave him a playful shove on the arm. They were definitely close; I started trying to remember if he had a sister. He nodded again and swung up into the saddle, directing one more comment her way before trotting over to us. "Sorry. Are we ready to go?"   
Tatara and I nodded, and with Gidayu in the lead we started back down the twisting path.   
  


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In a few hours I had enormous respect for Gidayu's skill in the forest. The trail, for the time being, was barely visible, but he continued down it as sure as if it were lined with torches, somehow always finding a way through or around obstacles such as bushes where the rest of us could also follow. When asked, he said that in the early days of the war this particular trail had been used by Sairou spies returning from Kutou, but he didn't know much about it beyond that. It started about a mile more along the road to the capital from his home, and apparently cut extremely close to the desert before turning into the rocky foothills of the mountains, where at least water could be found. It was (of course) more dangerous than the small road we'd been planning on using, but it was more direct and kept out of the way of where he suspected the ex-farmers-turned-bandits camped. I was inclined to agree with him there; the trees were beginning to thin out dramatically, and no outlaw would want to be seen, especially where there was no profit.   
Tatara and Tokaki were riding with Gidayu and talking companionably about what seemed like nothing at all, and I dropped back to ride with Toroki and Kokie. I still didn't know what had made them so hyper, but it was infectious: as we progressed, I found myself drawn into the kidding and teasing one would normally find in twelve-year-olds. It was all I could have wished for, the stress I'd felt since the morning seemed to drain out the tips of my toes and fall behind me on the ground, almost as if I was meditating. Even if we _weren't_ quite as calm as meditation normally calls for…   
We ate lunch in the saddle, not wanting to delay. Gidayu reasonably wanted to return to his home that day and wasting time stopping and setting out food wouldn't help at all. After we finished conversation seemed to die a bit as everyone realized we were getting into the scrubland. Soon we'd be exposed, no more convenient trees to hide behind. I grimaced at the bad pun, but my mind remarked that it was a sobering thought.   
About an hour past noon Tokaki dropped back to our little group, guiding his horse next to mine. I just stared ahead, feeling my face color slightly. I still couldn't face him for some reason. He seemed to expect it, though, and didn't make a big deal out of it, something I was grateful for. "I've got a message for you."   
"A message? Nani?"   
"Your friend wants you to go up there and ride with him." He gestured to Gidayu's horse, still in the lead. "I think he wants to talk to you."   
I gave him one brief brief BRIEF glance to make sure this wasn't some sham and felt myself go even redder, but the joking light wasn't in his eyes. He dropped back more to ride and talk with Toroki and Kokie, and I kicked my horse faster to catch up with our guide.   
"Ah, there you are Doulin-chan," he remarked casually as I appeared beside him and Tatara. "I was wondering whether you were planning on avoiding me all day." He grinned playfully and I knew there were no hard feelings, but I still felt embarrassed at my behavior the day before.   
"Umm… Sorry for hitting you yesterday."   
There came a choked noise from Tatara's area and he winked at me, dropping back as well to our companions. Yay, just me and my embarrassment…   
"It's all right, I've had a lot worse. I guess no one warned you there was some fairly strong alcohol in that tea."   
"No one, not even you. Gods, I must have looked so stupid, keeling over because of _tea,_" I groaned, shaking my head.   
He grinned. "You're not the first one… and you had a lot of it. It can be addictive, don't feel bad."   
"I do," I muttered. "Kaa-san would be so angry with me if she knew."   
"Come now, you think she would be angry at a Byakko no shichiseishi? Especially over an honest mistake?"   
"Yes, I-" _WHOA BYAKKO!!! What did he just say what did he just say what did he just say?! My gods, Byakko no shichiseishi! He KNOWS!!!!!_   
His amused smile was still on his face, but his eyes were mixed with seriousness. He kept his voice low and private. "Hai. I know. I know what you're thinking and I know what you were trying to hide last night."   
"But… but… but _how_?"   
He brought one hand up to chest level and inspected it for a moment, as if he hadn't heard me. I was about to repeat the question when he began to talk. "After you fell over and I tried to wake you up, you mumbled the name 'Tokaki'. Twice. We might live far away from the capital but we've heard of the miko and the seishi, same as the rest of the empire. And you were acting strangely before that, talking too fast and not giving many details. Overall, though, you did well; no one figured it out but me."   
I groaned. Again, it was _my fault_. Not being able to tell a convincing lie was really damn annoying. I'd have to work on it in the future.   
"But I know, and I won't give you away." He smiled easily, friendly. "In fact, that's why I wanted to show you this way - who better to use an old army trail than the ones who'll save our country? Just promise me you'll get 'em back for Bokkai, since I can't do it myself."   
"I promise," I said with complete confidence. One way or another I'd find a way to stop those Kutou bastards.   
We lapsed into silence again. A light wind picked up and blew some of my hair into my face; I absently pushed it out of the way and frowned. The rocks should be cutting off the wind; if they weren't, then that meant…   
"We're nearing the desert. I'm going to have to leave you all there, but it's easy to follow the trail from then on." Gidayu unconsciously confirmed my guess. "Kinuye will be angry if I'm not back when I said I'd be."   
"Is Kinuye that girl at your home?" He nodded. "I don't remember you having a sister. Who is she? Your cousin?"   
I guess everyone on this ride had to stifle laughter at one point or another; now was his turn. I gave him a pointed look as he got himself back under control, then shook his head, grinning. "Not in the least. She's my wife."   
Oh.   
"Oh."   
He just grinned, and we were silent again. I could only dwell on this new fact. Somehow I hadn't thought that there was even a possibility of Gidayu being married, so it was probably more of a surprise than it should have been. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. In the rural regions especially it was common to marry young; I myself was pushing the normal marriage age limit. He had been in essence a country boy for the past six-plus years, so there was no reason to assume that he had stayed single. Besides, the looks he and Kinuye had given each other and the general feel from them were ones of happiness and contentment; things rarely found within blood family. I was satisfied with my explanation; I gave myself a firm nod and set the topic from my mind. I also pretended to not see the teasing grin he gave me as I nodded.   
A few minutes later we topped a small ridge. Below us, at the foot of the rocks, was a valley of sand stretching as far as the eye could see. It was almost completely a uniform tan, with a bit of orange or slightly darker brown thrown in to relieve the monotony. We'd reached the desert at last.   
"This is where I leave you." Gidayu sounded detached from reality, as if this place was strangely unearthly. "If you ever need anything, stop by; I'll try and help you. Good luck." This last he whispered in my direction and I nodded minutely, acknowledging the well wish.   
Then he was gone, back in the direction we'd come from, and we were alone in unfamiliar territory. The openness frightened me; if anyone was around, he'd spot us in a second. For the next three days, even in the rocky hills, we'd be more open to attack than we ever had before.   
I just hoped we could handle it.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Yeah, sorry 'bout the fairly boring chapter... it wasn't as pleasant to write once the first section was finished as some I've done. But it's gonna get interesting again next chapter! I promise you! ~has some veeeeeeeery definite plans~ It's gonna get exciting ~_~ At last! WAI! See ya then!   



	12. Chapter 12: Tempers Rising

  
DISCLAIMER: You know, it's kind of confusing. We all go around saying we don't own Fushigi Yugi, but don't most of us own it? We buy the series, we watch it or read it, we possess it. Yeah, we own it. So why do we say we don't? On the _other_ hand, we don't own it because we're infringing on copyrights (and loving every minute of it) and could potentially be sued, even though we're just doing this for fun and entertainment... I'm all confuuuuuuused. Anyway, I think the best thing to say is probably that I don't own the RIGHTS to Fushigi Yugi and most likely never will, unless I suddenly become a millionaire or something like that. (Wow, long disclaimer!)   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: And Stuff Happens! ^^   
That's right, stuff's gonna start happening again this chapter (I have to use Wordpad to edit this, Notepad's screwing up big time for me, as is my computer in general).   
Everyone: Finally! At last! Thought you'd never get back to the story!   
Yeah, I know... but transition chapters are like that. This chapter's gonna have more language in it, and so are the successive chapters... the rating's also gonna apply more in this one and future postings. I'm in the middle of 14! I'm actually getting ahead! Wai! Go me!   
As for everyone who's asking "When are they gonna get together?!"... the answer is "Stay tuned". I have Stuff planned out for the next few chapters, and I'm not telling you when it's coming up. You'll just have to wa-ait! ~incredibly annoying sing-song voice~   
Thank you everyone for reviewing! And thank you those that e-mail me, it feels so good to see that! ~hugs them all~ Since there's so much posting these days, stuff's getting lost in the shuffle, and I'm so glad to see some people actually LOOK for this story just so they can read it. I'll give you a hint: if you check on Mondays, I upload then. Every Monday, I try to put something up. Might not be Market, but it's something of mine. And occasionally I'll put some small thing up on other days. Thank you so much everyone for encouraging me and making me feel this is worthwhile!   
  


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About the only thing I could be grateful for was the fact that the heat was no longer oppressing. Regardless of us being in the north of Sairou, where the temperatures were much more mild, the desert seemed to absorb heat and throw it out like a blanket over the surrounding area. For a full day and a half after Gidayu had left us, even though we'd turned from the desert almost immediately, I'd felt stifled and confined by something as intangible as humidity. It was truly annoying. Everyone was grumpier, the horses didn't work as much. I didn't realize how short everyone's tempers could be, even Tatara's, until that point. Maybe now that we were out of it everything would go back to normal.   
_Yeah, right,_ the little voice in the back of my mind added cynically. _When you're ignoring Tokaki, he's ignoring you, he and Toroki are snapping at each other every five seconds like they really mean it, Tatara's getting testy, and Kokie's going silent again? You're living in a dream world._   
I told it to shut up as I added another stick to the fire and used another branch to poke up the flame more. However, I couldn't ignore its cynicism completely; everything it had said had been true.   
Guard duty was really, really boring, especially with no one to talk to. I glanced up at the unobstructed view I had of the black sky spattered with stars overhead and shivered. It was too open, we had nowhere to go for cover should we need it. It made me feel nervous, like thousands of eyes were watching us, trying to diplomatically decide who would spring on us first. Definitely not a comfortable feeling. While we had been in the forested areas the trees and bushes had provided small, defendable, covered, easily maneuverable areas that could be used as a camp or, if needed, a fighting ground. Out in the rocky hills below the mountains we were sitting ducks.   
I stood and walked around the perimeter of our camp twice, hoping to work off some of my restless, worrying energy, and knelt by Kokie to check his bandaged arm. We'd gotten into another skirmish when a group of Kutou scouts had blundered across our path by sheer accident. With Kokie's slowly growing extroverted side came the ever-present carelessness that people seem to have to get hurt to learn to suppress, and he had acted like somewhat of an idiot, almost playing around with the guy he was fighting until the man landed a good slash on his upper arm. It was a bloody wound, and painful, but not a deep one, and it would heal fine. But it had done what it needed to, brought him to his senses so he realized that it was not a game and he could very well die. After that he worked quickly. I supposed he had learned his lesson.   
For once, I had come out of a fight unhurt, which I privately considered a miracle. Our opponents, however, could not: all five were dead, much as we hated it, because if even one of them had survived to take a message to Taheiji, it would have been over. He might send so many men after us that even with our seishi powers we would be overwhelmed, or he might do something to Suzuno. If he hadn't already…   
I shuddered as the thought crossed my mind, wrapping my arms around myself as I sat by the fire again. Not one of us had bothered to consider that prospect just yet, but we all subconsciously knew it was possible. We just didn't want to think about it. It was too horrible. She was our miko, and to most of us she was a dear friend, even though we hadn't known her long at all. None of us, especially Tatara and myself, could accept the fact that she might be… hurt maybe, but I didn't want to even _think_ the other possibility, even in my own mind.   
I looked at the sky again, trying to judge from the moon how much time had passed. It seemed that Kokie had woken me to take my shift eons ago, but the sky said that only half my time was done. I sighed and settled back into my slightly hunched over sitting position. Wouldn't Masame laugh to see the glorious life of a seishi, nothing like she thought it would be.   
I looked up at a soft sound, but it was only Toroki, turning over and mumbling something to himself in his sleep. He was a surprisingly restless sleeper, moving more than the other three combined. Tokaki slept like a rock, and the other two just lay there peacefully. I looked longingly at my own "bed", but resisted the temptation to walk over and lie down. I was on guard duty, much as I disliked it. Another noise reached me, like a cat scrabbling over the wall back home, and I turned to catch it.   
And then all hell broke loose. In a perversely quiet manner.   
A black-clad arm suddenly appeared in front of my face and clapped a square of cloth over the bottom half of my face, so fast I could barely see it as it moved. I tried throwing myself to the left, but the other arm was there and it grabbed me around the throat and pinned me back against someone's chest. There was a horrible smell coming from the cloth, and my memory flashed with the image of Suzuno being caught in this same way; they were trying to knock me out. My idiotic mind wondered why they weren't trying to _kill_ me, but I was much happier with being knocked out. Not that I would give them any help. I thrashed and tried to scream, throwing my weight around as I tried to shake the man off me, slinging my arms forcefully in random direction hoping to hit him. Somehow he always dodged out of the way. And my voice wasn't responding: either his arm around my throat or something on the cloth was paralyzing it. My movements and my mind itself also seemed to be affected by it, my thoughts were slowing, my arms and legs not moving as fast as they should, losing energy and strength. Everything got heavier, and the harsh, whispered conversation I heard above me was slow as a broken cart. My limbs fell slowly still, lying on the ground as if lifeless.   
Then a yell broke through the cloud that had become my mind, and there seemed to be scuffling, and much more yelling as the man holding me shifted positions. Then everything vanished abruptly into silence.   
My last conscious thought was to wonder how in the hell I could have let this happen.   
  


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The first thing I noticed as I woke was that I wasn't outside anymore. I couldn't say how I knew this, since my eyes perversely refused to open just as my limbs refused to move, but the general quality of the air around me seemed to signify confinement. The second was that I was lying on something fairly soft and comfortable, definitely not the stone I'd been sitting on at camp. The third was the cold: wherever I was, it was _drafty_. I shivered in spite of myself, trying to pull my arms around my body to warm up, but being very unable to move.   
Pain lanced through my ribs as something kicked me. "Wake up, wench." The voice was harsh but slow as syrup. I slowly lifted a finger and my thumb off the floor, and a grunt came from above. "Damnit, he gave her too much. You! Give me that!"   
Something was shoved in the vicinity of my face, and an absolutely vicious smell invaded the air I breathed. My eyes shot open and I sat up suddenly, coughing horribly and nearly choking. Byakko, that was _appalling_.   
"Good, you're up at last." I looked up, still coughing, to see a very tall man with a face set in deep, craggy lines glaring down at me. I unconsciously shrank back, and hit something behind me. I turned, and there was yet another man; this one looked somewhat more human, but he didn't have a pleased expression on his face. Both men were dressed in the same color and style of pants and shirts and had swords hanging at their belts, and wore them with the air of officials. Their clothing was mostly blue.   
I had fallen into the hands of the Kutou.   
There was a snicker off to the side, and another turn revealed two more men, carrying spears and dressed the same as the two surrounding me, grinning both maliciously and lecherously - however, their faces held none of the good humor that Tokaki's did even when he was being his most perverted. "Aww look, she's scared of us!" one man commented to his companion, as if it were the smartest remark uttered in the history of the world. "How cute! Isn't that cute?"   
"Shut up. We have to take her to our Lord." The man behind me reached down and gripped me roughly by my shoulder, hauling me to my feet so I ended up facing him. He was probably the most businesslike of the four, and I decided that if any of them was going to do that me I'd rather have it be him: he looked much less likely to abuse me or take advantage of me. "Come on, let's get going."   
They formed a square around me and began marching out of the room. I stumbled at first, the result of both being out of step with them and still being slightly sluggish, but I recovered my balance fast. I wasn't going to let them drag me along by my arms.   
My mind was frozen. I knew I had to escape, but I didn't know how to do it. I knew I had powers, but I didn't know how to use them. Before, when I'd been told stories where great heroes were being taken to be tortured or something, I'd always been derisive about how they could have been so blockheaded as to not realize that if they were such a great hero, THERE WAS THEIR CHANCE TO ESCAPE! It should have been easy! But now I knew exactly why they didn't: they were paralyzed.   
Just like I was.   
The place we were walking through was made all of stone, with ancient, unpolished wood floors that had old, sometimes thread-bare rugs laid over them, even in the halls. The halls themselves were wide, the walls made of stone blocks the same gray as where we'd camped, barely any decoration and moderate light. It was very spooky, and I started to remember many ghost stories I'd heard before but hadn't put stock in. They were much less easy to dismiss in this atmosphere.   
My guards were in no way silent, the talkative one rambling on as we walked, the other one with the spear making the occasional remark back, even the craggy-faced one adding something in. The businesslike one was mostly silent. Their voices echoed back from the stone blocks, adding to the eerie quality of the air.   
"Ahh, is that her?" We turned into a much more brightly-lit room, and I had to blink to clear my eyes. After the dimness of the halls we'd walked, the room seemed lit by the sun. It was also warmer in here; there was a fireplace in the far wall with a fire burning merrily inside. There were also many more people: at least ten soldiers, all armed, and a man about thirty-five or forty dressed in the same style as the soldiers but more finely clothed. He watched our entering procession with sharp eyes, rolling closed a scroll he held in his hands. "What took you so long?"   
"My lord, she'd been given too much of the drug. It took longer for her to wake than we anticipated," the business-like one replied, bowing.   
I was already scared. I began to get even more scared. If my growing suspicion proved right, I was in very, very deep shit.   
Their lord glanced me over, his eyes lingering on the area of my chest. I felt myself become instantly red, but I refused to acknowledge it, keeping my eyes on him and my hands gripping my skirt. His eyes flicked from my left hand to my right, and he spoke almost lazily. "Why is she not tied?"   
The talkative one bowed. "My lord, we did not think it was necessary-"   
"It's very obvious you didn't think. Bind her. Now."   
Two of my guards nodded, and one ran over to another soldier. The new one had a small coil of rope tied to his belt, and he nodded and untied it to hand it to my guard. He ran back over and jerked my arms out in front of me, binding my wrists quickly, efficiently, and effectively. My mind was still blank, except for a growing fear of what was to come.   
When he was finished, the lord spoke again. "Never underestimate an enemy. This… woman… is a Byakko no shichiseishi, an unknown entity. If half the stories we've heard about these legendary warriors are true, you can never be too careful dealing with one." He turned to look at me again. "Do you know who I am?"   
I forced myself not to shiver and swallowed rapidly. "Taheiji?"   
He nodded, studying me again. "That's right. But then, that's no surprise. You and your friends of all people should know me." His eyes flicked to the left. "Leave us." The group of guards that had been in the room before I'd been "escorted" in bowed simultaneously, then turned and filed out another door than the one I'd came in. Only Taheiji, my four guards, and I remained. Two of the soldiers went to take up guard positions at the doors, the other two pushed me forward, making me stumble and glare back at them over my shoulder. One laughed, sending a chill down my spine.   
There was a large, sturdy desk placed in the back half of the room and Taheiji approached it, setting the scroll he was carrying on its surface and taking a seat in the chair behind it. The guards took me by the upper arms and forced me to move forward, nearly dropping me in front of the desk, clearly trying to throw me off-balance and make me fall. However, I had better balance than they expected and remained upright, determinedly ignoring them. They might have had the weapons, but the real threat was in front of me.   
Taheiji watched the minor match of wills with a surprisingly inhostile expression, as if he were studying a mathematics problem instead of a definite enemy. He was, surprisingly, a plain-looking man in middle age; he looked almost ten years younger than my father. Too young to have dictatorial ambitions. Or at least too young to _act_ on them. His hair was beginning to gray, but what was still colored was a reddish brown color that didn't stand out much from his surroundings. His facial features were plain, but there was a look in his face of confidence and competency. His clothes were made of better fabrics than his men's, but they were of the same serviceable style. Except for that look and a general air of command there wasn't a remarkable thing about him.   
"Now," he began, breaking my study, "we must get this over with, I have other matters to attend to tonight." I shivered slightly. Did he bring me all the way here, wherever _here_ was, just to kill me? "I have, to be blunt, some questions for you. You may choose to not answer them, but the consequences of your decision may mean your death. It's your choice, after all." I blinked. This guy was _definitely_ unusual. "First off, how many of the seishi have you gathered?"   
I decided to take a great risk. "Before I answer any of your questions I want to see Suzuno."   
The guards' hands moved to their sword hilts, but Taheiji calmed them with a gesture. "I'm afraid that is impossible. You see, I am in control, not you." My eyes narrowed dangerously at him. He took it in stride. "However, I can assure you that nothing has happened to her. A few bruises and scrapes at the most."   
I briefly considered my options, then reluctantly nodded. It was the best I was going to get, and it was really more than I'd expected. He could kill me in a second if he wanted, and I had to survive to help Suzuno. Had to survive to summon Byakko. To see… everyone. I couldn't die here. I made myself be content with that answer; Taheiji was no fool. Knowing Suzuno was all right would most likely make me more liable to talk. And there was the unspoken threat that she might be hurt - she, not me - to get me to talk. I took a slow breath to calm myself. "Five."   
One of the soldiers swore, then bit it off abruptly. Taheiji just nodded slightly. "And where are the rest?"   
"I don't know," I replied truthfully, glaring at my guards as they again reached for their swords. "You had the bad luck to grab the seishi with the worst sense of direction. I'm telling the truth. And your own men grabbed me, they should know."   
"Iie." Taheiji smiled, a cool, professional smile. "You misinterpret me. I was asking where the remaining two seishi are located. Your other companions have set up ways to keep us from getting near them for now, but we know perfectly well where they are."   
"Umm, my lord…" the man on my right spoke up. "We don't… know exactly."   
Taheiji's face iced over, and he looked slowly and deliberately at the speaker. "What are you saying?"   
"We knew where they were an hour ago… when we got her." He gave me a shove to emphasize which "her" he'd been talking about. "Akera and Yasui had to leave in a hurry, since the others awoke and started attacking. And when they went back to check, everything and everyone was gone. All that was left was a dead fire."   
I had to work hard to resist the urge to smile smugly. Tokaki had done it again, although now he was probably dead on his feet.   
Taheiji remained looking at the man for a few more minutes, and he shifted uncomfortably behind me. Eventually, Taheiji sat back in his chair, and the man relaxed. "It can't be helped. Put out search teams, I want their location known. As fast as possible." His eyes returned to me. "Now, an answer, please."   
I mentally cursed the ropes on my wrists. They'd hindered me more than they knew: with my hands literally tied, I couldn't make any of the gestures I needed to stop time or even slow it. And I couldn't think of anything else I could do to get out of this. "We don't know where they are. We have to search for them, and you took Suzuno before we could get started."   
"And you need the miko to find the other two." I bit my tongue to stop from blurting out the truth just so I could annoy him. Let him believe the lie; Kokie, Tokaki, and I had been found without Suzuno's help. But if he was led to believe we needed Suzuno, it might work to our advantage later. "Interesting."   
"Where is Suzuno?" The worlds fell out of my mouth before I realized I was even thinking them. The guards' hands flew to their swords and the blades scraped almost musically from their sheaths, instantaneously pointing at my throat.   
"Watch your mouth, bitch!" The talkative guard snarled from beside the door. He and his friend even had their spears pointed at me.   
"Now," Taheiji began, "I don't see that as an unreasonable question." He stood, very slowly and deliberately, keeping his eyes on me as he walked calmly from behind his desk. I prayed that he'd make the gesture that would have them retract their weapons, but I had no such luck. He stopped in front of me, locking my eyes with his so that I was afraid to move the tiniest bit. "After all, we've had their precious miko for almost a week now. Of course she would be worried about her safety." He regarded me levelly for another moment before continuing. "You are certainly brave, I will willingly give you that. Not many people would have the audacity to ask the questions you have, or respond in the manner you employ, or have minor battles with people who could put four very sharp weapons through their body at a flick of my wrist. I wonder, however, if that bravery is not born of stupidity?"   
I didn't answer him, fighting to remain calm.   
Taheiji nodded minutely, still studying me. "I see. Well, miss Byakko no shichiseishi, you shall definitely see your precious miko soon. When I'm done with you."   
_Not arguing not arguing not arguing with the fact that he doesn't seem interested in killing me._ "What more do you want?"   
He smiled again, the same calm, professional smile with no hint of either warmth or coldness in it. "Your name, for one. I like to know who my men have taken prisoner."   
My mind flew. Should I tell him? What would be gained by keeping it? What would be lost? Suzuno might have mentioned us all ready… better tell, it might keep me alive. "Subaru." I deliberately left out my real name.   
"And which other seishi were out there with you?" he asked softly but intensely, leaning in close so that I almost had to back away.   
I took a deep breath and replied evenly "Why should I tell you?"   
The craggy-faced guard jabbed his sword forward to press into my neck, a small drop of blood appearing at its tip, whispering fiercely. "You insubordinate little-"   
"That is enough." Taheiji leaned back calmly, brushing something off his sleeve. "You are not to do anything to her unless I say so. Right now you shall escort our new… guest," I didn't miss the pause between words, "to her cell. And if she doesn't arrive there in one piece, we'll have words later."   
  


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Somehow they decided that only two guards (the ones with the spears) were necessary to take me to wherever they kept their prisoners, so the two of them stepped to either side of me and walked me down the once-again drafty stone hallways to some unknown destination.   
I was by no means a submissive prisoner, although I didn't take any stupid chances either. No matter how stupid the opposing forces' guards always are in the stories, it was _incredibly_ plain that these two at least had _some_ brains. If I tried to punch them in the face, I might get one before the other buried his spear in me.   
Looking and listening, however, were well within my capacity. The talkative guard was one of the spear-carriers, and his buddy seemed to like to chat as well (when the other one would let him), so it wasn't exactly silent. I kept my ears open to everything they said, hoping for a hint as to where I was, or why I'd been brought here, or anything else that might prove useful.   
Unfortunately most of their talk was gossip that would make sense only to an insider with the Kutou army. I was all set to zone out again when one of them let something slip that grabbed my attention: "special forces." I kept my eyes straight ahead, tilting my head down slightly to make it seem like I was walking along dejectedly as they expected me to, letting my hair swing into my face so the concentrating expression on my face was even harder to see.   
"…don't see why we couldn't have stayed at the main camp. There's plenty of guys there to keep off even these 'special warriors' the boss is going on about. Why d'we have to be in this hellhole, freezing to death?"   
"Do I look like I know? It doesn't make any sense to me either, he could have a much bigger guard at the main camp. Maybe it's 'cause he wants 'em to be harder to find."   
"Yeah, I guess." Their talk continued on to various complaints about their new quarters that I listened to with half an ear, trying to assimilate this new information.   
Apparently Suzuno and I weren't being kept where we seishi had assumed. Taheiji had (smartly, I grudgingly conceded him) chosen an out-of-the-way place and taken a small group of soldiers and officers with him when he'd kidnapped Suzuno, and they were sitting there, guarding her - or us now, really. I mentally cursed long and hard, something my mother would have been appalled at, as I realized he'd anticipated _exactly_ what we were going to do. The emperor, Ebizo, and all us seishi knew roughly where the main Kutou army camp was. We'd never had much of a definite plan for getting Suzuno back, but we knew that if we got to the camp and saw the defenses we might have been able to formulate a plan of attack. That was where we'd been heading all along. And the other four seishi were still, if I knew them as well as I thought I did, riding hard in that direction, trying to get both of us back.   
A rescue was starting to look very far-fetched indeed.   
A loud clanging next to me made me jerk my head up in surprise. The guard on my right was banging his spear very loudly on a sturdy wooden door in front of me, and as I watched in a sort of horrified fascination of disgust he began hollering at the top of his lungs. "NE, BU! OPEN UP!" Bang bang bang! "GOT A VISITOR!"   
_My god,_ I thought. _Was he raised by wolves?_   
After a few more seconds of banging and hollering the door swung open on the inside to reveal a new soldier, this one dressed in rougher clothes than either Taheiji or any of the men I'd seen so far, and about in his mid-twenties. He had a large, important-looking ring of keys in his hand, one gripped in his fingers and the others dangling below his fist. "I heard you the first time; come on, she's s'pposed to be down here."   
The guard who hadn't made all the noise gave me a push forward, making me stumble. I got back on my feet and glared briefly at him, then focused my attention on following the new soldier.   
He led me and my two "escorts" about fifty feet down the narrow hallway. On either side, as far as I could see in the dim light, there weren't walls at all; rather, doors and walls made like the cages you see sometimes when performers bring their animals to market to make a coin or two. I shuddered, and the guard behind me laughed, but I paid no attention to him; I was going to be caged. I didn't like the idea at all.   
The man with the keys stopped before one of the doors and deftly inserted one of the keys on his ring into the rusty lock, wrenching it back and forth a few times before the lock clanked open and the door swung in with a protest of hinges that was as bad as a cat I'd once heard being thrown in a cold pool. All four of us winced, but when the door was open far enough the talkative one gave me a merciless shove inside, slamming the door in my wake.   
I couldn't keep up my balance this time and fell to the cold stone floor with a skittering of pebbles, my bound hands trapped under my body and my face scraping along the floor, collecting scratches. Two of the men burst out in laughter and I rolled over awkwardly to glare fiercely at them, determined to make them pay for trying to humiliate me so much. They just continued laughing.   
"Isn't she just the cutest thing? You'd think she was serious with the way she was glaring like that!" he burst out in a loud guffaw of laughter, nearly dropping his spear as he had to hold his sides.   
The other one grinned wickedly in my direction. "Maybe the boss'll let us have her first for taking such good care of her."   
My blood ran cold in my veins. They couldn't mean… if that happened, I felt sure I'd slit my own wrists rather than live with the pain.   
"Yeah, she could use some taming. We can give it to her."   
"All right you two, you've got other jobs to be doing and I wanna get back to sleep. In case you haven't noticed, it's late and you woke me up again." The man with the keys pointed down the corridor, tiredly but firmly. He was, I realized, the only one who hadn't commented on me in some way. However, what that would mean for me remained to be seen. My two guards gave him friendly slaps on the back and shoulders, ambling back the way we'd come, the man with the keys following them. And I was alone.   
I was completely alone for the first time in my life. Nowhere around me was a friend, except for Suzuno, and despite Taheiji's almost-promise I still had no idea where she was. In any case, I was the protector; she was the important one, I had to get her out of here and worry about myself later. And from the sound of things, I'd have a lot to worry about…   
The men hadn't untied my wrists, whether from faulty memories or deliberate lapses of thought mattered not, although I greatly suspected the latter. I was much less of a threat to them if I was hindered in some way, although I was still fairly sure they didn't know how _much_ of a hindrance the ropes were. As long as they didn't know I probably had a chance of getting one or another of them to remove the coils, although what I could do in that state still remained to be seen. Without the ropes I could stop or slow time, yes, but it wouldn't do me much good if the cell door was closed. I couldn't get the keys away without touching the man, and that would restore him and he'd probably stop me.   
I forced my brain to stop trying to think on too little sleep and turned to inspecting my new "home". It was almost a block carved in the stone, about nine or ten feet across at the door and maybe that much deep. There were no places to hide except the shadows, and my very visible hair color also eliminated those possibilities. It was bare except for a straw pallet covered with a couple of small blankets pushed against one wall. How ironic that it would probably be the most comfortable bed I'd had in days.   
There was a small window (also with bars on it) in the stone just slightly higher than I was tall. I pushed myself back up to my feet, moving awkwardly because of my bound arms, then reached up and grasped two of the bars in my hands. I pulled myself up to stand on tiptoe, finding the strength to raise my face to the window so I could see what was outside my cell.   
There wasn't a lot. A wide area that somehow or other managed to have grass growing on it, a single tree on the lawn, a stone wall about three feet high bordering it, and the mountains beyond. Once again, no places to hide, at least not until one was beyond the wall.   
_Shit,_ I cursed mentally, briefly and perversely wondering if I'd picked up Tokaki's bad habits. Taheiji had picked his spot well; I couldn't figure a way out of anything he'd either set up or chosen. It looked like I was stuck until some miracle happened and they all died at once, or something like that.   
My eyes dropped down and I noticed the pallet again, and suddenly I was hit with a wave of exhaustion that nearly bowled me over. It had to be past midnight, and even counting the time I'd been knocked out by that drug of theirs I hadn't gotten more than three hours of sleep total after a grueling, nerve-wracking day. I fell to my knees on the pallet and knocked one of the blankets aside, leaving the other to cover the rough straw. I lay down gratefully, too suddenly tired to even think and pulled the other blanket back over my body; thin as it was it provided more protection than I had. I pushed my hair out of my face and tried to make a pillow out of my bound arms, and fell asleep before I could even make sure of what little comfort I could.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Loud thunder penetrated my dreamless sleep and roused me what felt like minutes later. But there was slightly more light in the cell than had been there when I fell asleep; I twisted, and sure enough a dull orange glow was beginning to creep through the barred window. It was near dawn then, which meant I'd at least had _some_ rest.   
"Get in there!" a harsh new voice called as there came a clank that I recognized as a cell door being opened. Then there was a feminine cry of pain, and the answering clunk of the door closing. The feminine voice immediately pulled me from my sleepy haze; somehow I _knew_, I just _knew_…   
Footsteps retreated down the corridor as I crawled to the front of my cell, trying to stay out of sight. I could hear soft sniffs and sobs coming from the cell across the hall, and again I just _knew_. I kept low to the ground as I approached the bars, glanced in the direction of the wooden door, then hissed softly through my teeth.   
The orange glow landed on a familiar, if somewhat worn, foreign navy blue outfit and pair of light brown braids, which immediately swung in my direction. "Subaru?!"   
"Suzuno!"   


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: And Suzuno reappears! At last! WAI! ~waves flags and banners et al~   
Anyway, as you can see, it's gonna be kinda hard for Subaru and Tokaki to get together for a little. But it's coming! I'm not avoiding it, it just hasn't fit into my plot yet. If you stick around you'll see it... eventually. I'll get to it as soon as is feasible, I _promise!!!_   
Just remember the note up there about the rating. Lot more language coming up, and some angsting as well. You have been forewarned...   
Insert shameless self plug here: About a week ago I uploaded what is my shortest thing (only two pages! O.O) to date, called "One of Seiryu's." If you like angsty stuff, can you go read it? I'd really like to know what people think of it, it's kinda twisted and I haven't done that in awhile so I wanna know if I got any better or worse. Thank you!   
I love all you guys! I'll see ya next time! ^_^   



	13. Chapter 13: Prisoner

  
DISCLAIMER: Smaerd ym ni. Iguy Igihsuf nwo I.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: ~THWAPS Bashou~ I warned you!   
~GLOMPS everyone who reviewed 12~ Thank you guys sooooooooo much! Emily, DOWN! NOW! ~grabs the whip and a chair~ Look, it's being posted! You're just a bit early! ~glomps everyone else (forgoing the over-excited Okie-One because she's scaring Kaze-chan) again~ I'm so happy that people think I write these guys realistically. I try, I really try! I love them too much to change them to how I want them to be, and I think they're great just the way they are. And, as the Official Glomper of Suba-chan (^_^ It's true! I am!), I can safely say that _she_ likes hearing you like her as well!   
Subaru: Eheh... Kaze-chan... calm down. You've had _way_ too much Easter candy for your own good.   
Kaze-chan: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, go play with Tokaki ^___^   
Subaru: WHAT?!   
On a serious note... Remember, the RATING APPPLIES HERE. I don't know how to state it plainer than that. Please remember that this is not a Happy Chapter. In fact, it'll probably be awhile before there are Mostly-Happy Chapters. Being a prisoner certainly does not imply fun times, and if it does, then whoever thinks that needs a psychiatric analysis and FAST.   
Thank you so much everyone! I'll try and post quickly, I promise! I finished 15!   
And now, back to the not-so-happy chapter.   
Late addition: we just put Windows XP on our computer. I get on, I open my files... and nothing's there. No pictures. No mp3s. And worst of all, no STORIES. Lord, I was scared out of my mind. I don't think anyone can blame me for crying, which I did. All that stuff gone to waste... but it turns out it stuck it in my FATHER'S files. So I'm gonna have to move them to mine. At least I still have them.   
  


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It was all I could do to sit upright, clinging to the bars preventing me from escape with my bound hands, and stare at the girl across from me. She looked like the Suzuno I knew, and yet… not. She was thinner, although with her loose clothing it was hard to tell; her hair looked like it hadn't been either taken out of its braids or brushed since she'd been kidnapped. Her "uniform" was dirty and had more than one visible tear; there was an angry red mark on her left cheekbone, as if something had scraped her up. Her blue eyes were haunted, almost frightened, and their color seemed paled. The orange wash across her face made her appear sickly. She had no shoes.   
I felt my blood begin to boil as I started thinking of exactly _what_ must have happened to reduce Suzuno, a normally upbeat, cheerful girl, to this state of despair. If the way they'd treated me, simply in my few hours here, was any indication, things must have been hell for poor Suzuno, here nearly a week. I didn't care what happened to me any more; I was going to protect Suzuno. I would get her out of here somehow. And then she could stop these evil bastards who were trying to wreck our lives.   
"Suzuno…"   
"Suba-chan, what happened? Why are you here? You shouldn't be here! You need to get out!"   
I smiled a twisted smile. That was Suzuno all right, worrying about me before her, even though _she_ was the important one. "I can't. My powers aren't good for this. And there's no way in hell I'm going to leave you here. We'll figure out a way out of this thing, don't worry."   
Her face fell and she slumped to the floor, her forehead resting on the bars of her personal cage. "This isn't happening… This can't happen. Suba-chan, _how?_ How did they get you?"   
"Same way they got you… the cloth over the mouth."   
She titled her head back, regarding me with a confused expression. "How did you know that?"   
Again I smiled that twisted, ironic smile. "I'm a seishi, remember?"   
"Oh." She fell quiet for a second. "How… how are the others? Toroki and Tokaki and… Tatara?"   
"As far as I know, they're fine. We were about two days ride from the border when they got me. Kokie was a bit injured, but he'll be alright."   
"Kokie?"   
I'd forgotten she'd never met him. "Kokie. We found another one, Suzuno." I couldn't resist smiling at the joyful squeal that erupted from her. "He's fourteen, can control metal, and is Inoue's brother. He's also a bit shy, but that's slowly getting better. I think you'll like him."   
"I know I will. I-" Whatever she was about to say was cut off by a loud yawn. "Oh lord… not again…"   
"Nani?"   
"They did it again…"   
"What did they do?"   
She slid down until she was curled up on the floor like a large cat, head pillowed on her arms. "They put the sleep stuff in my water… I'm sorry Subaru…"   
I sighed deeply. Drugging her again made no sense, but when had anything these Kutou soldiers had done made sense? "That's all right… just go to sleep. You'll feel better after you rest."   
"I miss my home…" she murmured softly, already half-asleep.   
My heart ached to see her, so defenseless-looking in the deep shadows of the cell. She hadn't asked for any of this, hadn't asked to come to a strange world, ripped away from everything and everyone she'd ever been familiar with and forced into a conflict on the scale of entire peoples. She didn't deserve to be taken from her friends and locked in an iron box, away from the light she seemed to dance in.   
I began to sing softly, an old, traditional lullaby that my mother had sung to me for years on end and I in turn had sung to Masame. The tune was soothing and the words were comforting, a faint promise of hope layered between the notes. Suzuno murmured something I couldn't understand and shifted in her sleep, inching closer to the door.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
_I was dreaming, although how I knew I was dreaming was a mystery to me. Maybe it was the feeling of emptiness around me. Although I was sure my eyes were open, I couldn't see a thing, not even darkness. There was simply nothing there.   
I was looking for something, I think. But what there was to look for in the nothingness I didn't know; I just kept searching. I'd know it when I found it, if I ever found it. I had to find it, I had to.   
There was something pulling me in one direction, and I followed it unquestioningly. It might be in that direction, go that way…   
Then there was a… presence. There was no other way to describe it. I still couldn't see anything, but somehow I knew it was there, blending in perfectly with the nothingness. I could feel, but not see, two large, benign and intelligent eyes regarding me, judging me; then a whiff of air as it nodded. Something went by me, brushing my side and causing my clothing to rustle slightly. I put out a hand, but it went right through whatever it was.   
But suddenly, where it had been, there was something. It felt like an opening in the nothingness, and I leapt for it, not willing to lose it and be alone again. I grabbed for it, tried to push myself through-   
"Subaru?!"   
The voice was around me, loud and clear, making my not-surroundings vibrate. I wasn't alone! "It's me! It's me! Who is this?!"   
"It's Toroki! Oh, thank Byakko, I've been trying to get to you for hours! I've been trying all week, but I can't get to Suzuno this way. Where are you?!"   
I was growing desperate. "I don't know! They drugged me and knocked me out. I think they transported me here like Tokaki does. We're in this large building all made of stone. I can't see much of the outside except mountains. I think it was a border fort, they have plenty of cells. We're in them."   
"Is Suzuno with you?"   
"She's in the cell across from me. Toroki, she looks terrible. She's like a scared little girl. And apparently they keep drugging her, I don't know why. They put some sort of sleeping concoction in her drink. Toroki, GET US OUT OF HERE!"   
I felt him flinch back at the force of my "voice," the contact almost breaking. I lunged for it and held on desperately. "All right… we're coming. I can feel where you are now, so we can stop all this guessing and ride straight. Tokaki can't transport us there, but with the horses we can be there in a day and a half. Can you hold out that long?"   
I nodded, somehow knowing that he'd know I was doing so. "She's held out for a week, I can hold out for a day and a half. What happened last night?"   
He sighed, making a slight wind around me. "Gomen nasai… Apparently the Kutou found out about us and snuck up on the camp in the middle of the night. They drugged you, probably so you couldn't fight them, and apparently they had plans to kill the rest of us, but fortunately your noise making woke us up and they couldn't do it. Tatara and Tokaki lunged to stop the man who had you, but he vanished. Just disappeared, they said, like Tokaki could. The Kutou must have some master ki manipulators in their army."   
"Are you all safe?"   
"Hai. Tokaki got us all away from there in case anyone came back to finish us off, but it was too much for him and he collapsed." He grinned. He actually grinned. "You would have had fun berating him for that; unfortunately Tatara and I had to do it for you. I've been meditating since, trying to reach you. Thank Byakko for seishi powers. But my strength's almost gone; I need to break the connection if I'm going to be worth anything later on. You two be careful, we'll be there soon."   
"Please hurry."   
And then he was unmistakably gone._   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
An intense grogginess coupled with a pounding headache greeted me as the clanking of the cell door broke into my sleep. I could still remember the conversation with Toroki, and hope flooded into my soul.   
But… it couldn't have happened. Toroki didn't have that power. He wasn't able to connect mind-to-mind like that, even with us other seishi. If he could, he would have said something. And he hadn't. So he couldn't. The hope I'd begun to feel was squashed as I realized it had just been a dream. A wishful dream I'd conjured to give me a hope of getting free. Damnit, if only it'd been _real_…   
"On your feet!" a gruff voice snapped above me. I looked up. And up. It was the craggy-faced guard again, and he didn't look very pleased. In the interest of saving my neck until I could figure out a way out of there, I stood as quickly as I could, which wasn't very quickly. My head was still cloudy with sleep, throwing my balance off, and my still-bound hands had gone numb, making it impossible to grip anything to help me rise. I had barely started when he got impatient and jerked me up roughly. I yelped in anger and wrenched away from him, stumbling and falling hard against the wall, glaring up at him through my messy hair. He didn't laugh like his friends would have; he glared right back and me, reasserted his grip on my arm, and yanked me out of my cell.   
It was late in the morning. I managed to catch a glimpse at Suzuno's cell. She was still out on the cold stone floor, far to the right from where she started, where she must have rolled in her sleep. I was only allowed enough time to catch that one glimpse of her before I was yanked down the hall, back in the direction of the wooden door I'd been shoved through the night before.   
We might have taken the same path as last night, or we might have taken a completely different one; it was impossible for me to tell with the lack of variety in the surroundings and my pathetic sense of direction. In any case, we wound up trekking through the same type of gray stone corridors, over the same type of well-woven but shabby carpet, me bring dragged more than walking. I was still too fuzzy to yank away though, although my head was rapidly clearing, and I let him, saving my energy for something unexpected.   
We walked through the final door and into the same room I'd been questioned in the night before. The fire had gone out and there was a distinct chill in the air, but it was nowhere near as sharp as the bite of the cell. There were four soldiers, all carrying spears, who looked very vaguely familiar; they'd been in the company of guards that Taheiji had ordered out of the room before my questioning. There was no sight of the rest of the guards that had "taken care" of me before, and the craggy-faced one bowed deeply in the direction of the desk, spun precisely on his heels, and left the room.   
Taheiji was once again sitting behind his great desk. Its top was littered with pieces of paper, scrolls, maps, paperweights, books, brush and ink and even a sword. I had to remember that: whatever else this military madman had up his sleeve, he was an accomplished fighter as well.   
"So, how was your night?" he asked, almost companionably, as he stood and circled his desk to lean against the front. "Our accomidations are somewhat lacking at the moment, but I trust you spent at least some of it pleasantly."   
This guy was sounding more and more crazy every second.   
After a slight pause passed where I didn't answer, he continued. "I trust you understand why you still retain those." He gestured at my hands and the ropes around them. "It would just be asking for trouble to remove them."   
"Why am I here? Why don't you just kill me?" I wasn't in a good mood, and it showed; I sounded sullen and I was glaring at him tiredly. It hadn't been a fun week.   
His smile was insincerely professional this time; it kinda creeped me out. "We still have business my dear. I haven't learned nearly as much as I want to know."   
"There's no guarantee I'll tell you anything. In fact, I probably won't. You should know that by now."   
"But there's no harm in trying, now is there?" He stood up straight and approached me casually, watching me interestedly. "A Byakko no shichiseishi… When I started this campaign five years ago, we'd never heard of you people. When we did, I thought you were just a legend. And then when we uncovered evidence of a previous miko in Hokkan, Genbu no Miko-"   
_WHAT?!_ There had been another miko?!   
"-I thought you wouldn't show for a long, long time." I shrank back from his circling, wary as a tiger. "The legend of the sei and the miko is amazing… and having one in Hokkan, as well… it makes one wonder whether Konan and Kutou also have these legends. Wouldn't that be fascinating? One set for each country, one girl to call on in a time of crisis… think of the possibilities. With a god's wish, a miko can protect an entire country. We think that's why we can only travel though Hokkan, not attack it; the effects of the miko's wish guard it still."   
"And what does all this have to do with me?"   
He smiled again, that same bizarre smile. "I want to know more about the legends. More about the miko, and the sei. You can help me with that. Your miko doesn't seem to know much; but if she really if from another world, then it's no wonder. For a native who's known the legend as long as it's been out, and a sei no less… You could help me invaluably."   
I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't dignify him with a response. If I told about the seishi, he'd know our ins and outs, our strengths and weaknesses, and could plan accordingly. I was perfectly sure he could find some way to keep Tokaki from popping in and out of this old building. But if I lied, however… they had no way to tell the difference.   
He didn't wait for a response. "Tell me, what are your powers? And the powers of your companions? Be as precise as possible, I have a great curiosity."   
_All right Subaru, you supposedly have a good imagination. Imagine up some answers for him!_ "I can… talk to animals." Where had that one come from? But it worked. "In my mind. And out loud. It's useful."   
"Huh." He frowned contemplatively, setting his chin in his hand in a reflexive gesture. "Interesting. Continue."   
It also hit me that he didn't need to know _exactly_ which seishi we had. "Amefuri can control water." Or their genders. "She's good at it, too."   
His eyebrows raised a bit with interest. "Another female?"   
I nodded and tumbled on, not wanting to press my luck. "Tokaki is a mind-reader, but he has to be pretty close to do it. Toroki can control ki and manipulate it. And Tatara can change forms. That's all of us." Now, hopefully, my facsimile fit Suzuno's… which was next to impossible, so hopefully she'd either kept her mouth shut or had told them she hadn't known anything. It was my only hope.   
"_Very_ interesting… we know of ki manipulation, of course, but those others… they really must be divine gifts. And now if you don't mind, which I'm sure you don't…" The chills ran down my spine again. He seemed so sure of himself, so sure of the fact that I was going to cooperate and tell him everything he wanted. "I would like to know the exact legend of the miko and the seishi. I have a fairly good idea, I would just like it corroborated."   
Well, that wasn't too big. Ten to one he knew the same version I did, or one incredibly like it. "'When the Sairou Empire is in great peril, there will appear in the land a girl from another world, who shall gather the Seven Stars of Byakko and gain the beast god's power,'" I began, quoting from memory, and ironically remembering the last time I'd done so, just after I'd met Tokaki and learned of my seishi powers. Tokaki… would I ever see him again? "'The Seven Stars are the seven celestial warriors chosen by our god Byakko, the white tiger. They shall protect and support Byakko no Miko, the girl from another world, and be known by the names of the seven constellations of Byakko: Tokaki, Tatara, Kokie, Subaru, Amefuri, Toroki, Karasuki. Each shall be given a divine gift by Byakko to use in their aim to protect Byakko no Miko, and use it well they must, or all may come to ruin. With the support of the Seven Stars, Byakko no Miko shall call upon the beast god and gain his power, being granted three wishes in return for summoning him, which she may use in any way. And Sairou shall be saved.' That's the legend, or at least the version I heard for five years. I don't know if what's in this part of the country is the same, but it should be. Or close, at least."   
"This part… where in Sairou do you come from?"   
"Not here."   
Once again I was faced with the slightly disturbing sensation of seeing multiple sharp things suddenly pointed my way by irritated soldiers, but Taheiji called them off absent-mindedly, still regarding me interestedly. "Yes, you do have nerve," he murmured, as if too himself. "Just one last question, and then we'll see what… to do with you."   
"What is it?" I asked warily.   
"You sei are obviously important people to your country, and in turn your government. So, presumably, you have some idea of what your country is up against. And until now we haven't been able to find out what your country knows of our plans - or what it thinks it knows. And you're going to tell me everything you know."   
My eyes widened of their own accord, staring at him. He didn't know? He expected me to tell? I could just lie, of course, but I knew nothing of military tactics and strategies and terms and I doubted I could pull it off convincingly. But the sheer fact that he didn't know overwhelmed me. This man had gotten an agent into the palace to kidnap Suzuno, and he couldn't sneak into his enemies' intelligence? Then again, if Heika-sama always had important meetings in that small room with only known, trusted councilors, no wonder he had no idea. Best to pretend I didn't either. "I'm just a woman, they don't tell me anything." There actually might be something good in sexist discrimination. "They don't even tell Suzuno, and she's the miko. A lot more important than I am. I think only Toroki really knows a lot." I certainly wasn't telling him we knew about the second lord coming, or about the relatively small number of men even _he_ had. And I didn't know what Heika-sama was planning on doing, so that was safe. Come to think of it, I didn't know much of what Taheiji was doing either - Ebizo and Heika-sama had simply given me the background. Nice to know I couldn't accidentally let something slip.   
His mouth twitched into a frown and he looked at me intently. I tried to clench my fingers and found that I couldn't, they had gone numb with the rope. I had to get that thing off, or at least loosened… I just prayed my face didn't give away the fact that I was lying about most of what I'd just said; it had a disturbing tendency to do that…   
"You're sure? They let nothing slip around you, not even one little hint?"   
Oh no, he wasn't buying it, he wasn't buying it… "Well, Toroki certainly hasn't said anything about it, and I haven't been around anyone who has. I know about Sairou's dwindling army, same as you do, but that's common knowledge now."   
He slowly returned to his seat and reclaimed his chair, relaxing against the back. "Yes, very common knowledge. My people say the natives are getting nervous, the ones without homes are turning to criminal activities to live, leeching off their compatriots… quite an interesting society. I feel it's becoming more like home every day."   
_We'll never be like your home, you pit viper,_ my voice hissed venomously in my mind. _We're better than that._   
"And now, I think we'd better put you back where you came from. Royama." The craggy-faced guard had apparently returned while Taheiji was questioning me, because he stepped up with a tap of boot heels next to me, bowing again. Taheiji nodded, and he stepped forward to the desk, leaning over so Taheiji could talk with no one else hearing him. Once, the guard - Royama, I guess - queried something equally quietly, and Taheiji nodded, looking briefly in my direction. Royama nodded and stepped to my side with another bow, taking my upper arm roughly and starting to pull me out through the door we'd come in earlier yet _again_.   
"Don't you ever get tired of pulling me?" I grumbled as I stumbled along, not at all happy with him.   
"You keep your mouth shut bitch or you'll have problems."   
I was walking on thin ice and knew it, but my mouth had a mind of its own. "What? I just don't like being bruised all over, and you're going to do that if you keep yanking me along like this." He spun, eyes wide with both shock and rage.   
Then he hit me.   
His right arm raised and before I could duck, he'd brought down his fist hard into the side of my face. I could barely begin yanking my head back in the direction the punch would go, to reduce the impact and subsequent damage, before there was an explosion of pain in my cheek. The force spun me around quick as a top and threw me to the floor ungracefully, where I lay there panting as the coppery taste of blood flooded between my teeth from my cheek. There was pain in my right ankle that seemed to block some of the pain from my mouth. It was probably twisted or even sprained. Oh gods…   
He stood over me, his breathing sounding furious, both fists clenched at his sides and looking like a demon possessed. "You… You… You fucking _bitch_. Get up!" He bent quickly and hauled me to my feet, completely ignoring my loud scream of pain as my ankle twisted yet again below me. I swallowed the blood that had collected in my mouth, wincing at the bitter taste, and concentrated on trying to calm down as I more or less dangled from his hand. Damnit, I couldn't fix myself, not in front of him, he'd go right back and tell Taheiji that I'd been lying, and that wouldn't bode well for either me or Suzuno. No, the best course would be to just get back to the cell, where I had at least _some_ privacy. But he'd make me walk on that foot, and I knew if I did it'd probably break… I took the only other option left to me, and crumpled over as if I'd fainted. I could fake it when I had to. Which was now.   
He growled curses under his breath and took my other shoulder in his large hand, dragging me upright. "Fucking _weak_ bitch… You talk smooth, but you fall over when there's _real_ problems around." I couldn't see his face through my closed eyelids, but I'd lay good odds it was poisonous and disgusted. He picked me up as a child would a doll and threw me over his shoulder, and resumed walking in the direction we'd been going before, showing no exertion even with my added weight.   
I didn't know if we passed anyone until we got to the prison, but once there the guard with the keys let out a curse word. "What happened to _her?_"   
"She can't hold up under pressure, that's what. Open the door already, she's getting heavy."   
_HEY!!! WAS THAT A COMMENT ABOUT MY WEIGHT?!?!_   
The door opened and Royama walked through and down the drafty hallway. Suzuno must have been awake and coherent, because when I'd estimated that we'd gone about far enough to reach my cell, I began hearing her voice, not slurred with sleep at all. "Ne, mister, where's Su- SUBARU!" There was a minor clash as something, probably Suzuno, hit some of the bars. "Subaru! Subaru! What happened to her?!"   
"SHUT UP!" my guard roared, making me wince minutely. He had some force in those lungs, it was scary.   
There were no more desperate questions, and the door creaked open and I was dumped unceremoniously on the cold floor, once again landing on my bound hands and having to surpress a cry as my ankle twisted once again. The door was shut and two pairs of footsteps retreated down the hall, the echoing effect of the stone making them seem closer than they probably were.   
After a minute of lying there, trying to get the pain under control, I heard what was barely more than a whisper. "…Subaru?"   
"Remind me to eat less in the future," I grumbled bitterly, still thinking of the quip about my weight. I "sssshhhh"ed quickly before she could cry in joy, knowing if that happened then the guards would inevitably hear it and come back, and more likely than not I'd get smacked around again.   
And that was something I did not like.   
People say you shouldn't hit women because it's a mark of a good man to have the restraint. However, that's not exactly the reason. If they were worth anything (and not all women were, I'd admit that) you didn't hit women for the simple reason that they can get _severely pissed off_. Like me. I was pissed.   
I couldn't stop a small cry as I rolled over and pushed myself into a sitting position, but it wasn't loud enough to attract any attention beyond Suzuno's. She was pressed against the bars of her cell across the way, hands gripping two of them and watching me with tears in her eyes. I swallowed again and tried to give her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Suzu-chan. I'll be all right." It was the only part of my powers that I could think of that would work with my hands like that, and I wasn't going to delay it any longer. "Just watch, you can see the one thing I can still do." She nodded, staring.   
I closed my eyes and concentrated on myself, gathering my power together. I wrapped my hands around my ankle, the vague idea that it might work better if I was in contact with the subject flitting through my mind, and I murmured the familiar words. "Time turn back on the body of myself to this point of yesterday."   
There was the noiseless, backward wind again, and suddenly I wasn't tasting blood, and my ankle was sitting the proper way on the floor, not looking reddish as it had before. I gingerly tested it, wiggling my foot back and forth, and nothing pulled or pained me. I was only a bit tired, and that feeling vanished as I blinked my eyes. I returned to looking at Suzuno and grinned, standing up quickly. Relief broke over her face and she grinned back. She must have taken hope at my powers still functioning.   
I sat down again (no use in pushing it) and began to study the knots that held the ropes on my arms. For the next hour or so, time passed in a relatively easy manner as I alternated between trying to undo the knots with my teeth and talking quietly with Suzuno. We had no specific topic, letting the words carry us where they would, easing into the comforting feeling of having a friend nearby. If only they would at least put us in the same cell… but of course they wouldn't. I had little success with the ropes: I had no knowledge of knots, and while I managed to loosen them somewhat and allow feeling to return to my nerves, I couldn't get them off. The man who'd tied them was merciless and insane. I also realized I was getting hungry and thirsty.   
My hands were starting to feel normal again when the door at the end of the hall opened once more (it wasn't exactly quiet, so we could hear it plainly), and the guard with the keys approached us, leading the talkative guard from the night before. I was probably mistaken, but for a moment I could have sworn I saw a look of pity on the key-guard's face. He was silent as he undid the lock, but the talkative guard was giving me that same badly lecherous grin, so unlike Tokaki's friendly one. I glared at him, letting my full contempt for him show. This guy was annoying.   
"On your feet."   
It was no request. I stood. "Hey, can I get something to eat soon? And drink?" I asked.   
"Later. Out." He gestured imperiously to a spot in front of him, and I complied, still glaring. I wouldn't be dragged again. He held his spear ready to let drop at me at a moment's notice, I saw; I wouldn't give him the opportunity. The key-guard shut the door, and we walked away from the cells, Suzuno looking after me worriedly.   
The key-guard turned into a small door I hadn't noticed before, just after the big wooden one, and shut it behind him. That had to be the guard post, maybe even his permanent room. I didn't pay attention to the turns we made on our walk, but the halls weren't as big or have the potential to be as fine as those leading to Taheiji's main meeting room. They had the look of servants quarters. We stopped in front of a plain door, and the guard rapped on it with his spear.   
"Enter." That voice was unmistakable - Taheiji.   
The guard obeyed, and made me, too. Inside, the room was dim, with only a couple of torches, no windows, and little light from the hallway. There didn't look to be anything in there except another old rug, but the only furniture I'd seen so far was Taheiji's desk, which I suspected he'd brought with him, so that came as no surprise. The only other people there were Taheiji, standing in the middle of the floor, and another guard that I couldn't remember if I'd seen before or not against a wall. It made no sense to have a meeting or interrogation here, so what was going on? I flexed my fingers, wishing hopelessly that my hands were unbound.   
Taheiji's cool smile once again appeared, but this time there was a new element added to the mix that I couldn't identify, and I didn't think I wanted to either. "Well, my dear. I certainly must applaud you. You are very brave to lie directly to your enemy's face, even if it was a fairly stupid move."   
I blinked, my face going slack with shock. "You… You know?"   
"Of course I do. I have an operative or two in my employment who know a few tricks of ki manipulation, and they spied on you when your group and my men clashed. They saw each of your powers in use, and the _men_ who used them, aside from you." He deliberately accentuated the word "men," trapping me in my lie about genders. "We can even match power to seishi name and to face."   
"Then why are you keeping me alive? Why ask me all those useless questions, if you knew?"   
"Oh, come now. Those questions would be expected. You would have wondered if they hadn't been asked, and I don't think you're an idiot." He slowly approached me, crossing his arms. "Besides, we didn't know it _all_. There were a few genuine questions we needed someone with knowledge to answer, and your miko didn't have what we wanted. So we needed to take another one, a sei, to ask."   
I gave him a level look. "So why tell me this now?"   
He smiled, a real smile this time, but it chilled me to the bone even surer than the biting cold. "Because you should know why you're being punished."   
"Punished?"   
Suddenly he darted forward and kissed me harshly and roughly, forcing his tongue into my mouth as his hands groped for my chest. I shrieked and jerked back, bringing up my hands to slap him soundly across the face. He stumbled back two steps, slightly stunned. He gave me a look of surprise, then smiled that same bone-chilling smile, and said simply, "Hold her."   
The guard that had been there when I'd arrived stepped out of the shadows and took my arms in a strong grip I had no hope of breaking, even if I hadn't been paralyzed with fear. I couldn't move, couldn't tear my gaze away from Taheiji, more scared than I had been in my entire life. He was going to-   
He kissed me again, putting such force behind it that I crashed into the man behind me, pressed between them as Taheiji gripped my clothing and tore it open as far as he could down the front.   
_No… No… NO… TOKAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!_   
"Beautiful… I must say, my dear, we hardly see women with your proportions at home." And again he invaded my mouth with his tongue, putting his hands all over my body, even as I tried to shrink away from his touch, get away from him, get away… _No… no…_   
I whimpered slightly, and he pulled back to watch me idly. As if this wasn't happening. _No… NO! TOKAKIIIIIII!!!_   
Then he smiled and pushed me to the floor.   


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: I'm sorry Suba-chan! I'm so sorry! ~hugs her tightly and cries~   



	14. Market Bonus: To the Moon and Back

  
DISCLAIMER: Finally! I get to do a semi-different disclaimer! I don't own FY, and I DEFINITELY don't own the song. It belongs to Savage Garden and whoever wrote it, I'm not quite sure who that is.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: All right, all you people going "When are they going to get together?" I hope this tides you over... because it won't happen for _awhile_. I have it all planned out for a long time (writing it, however, isn't going nearly as fast), well past the time they get together. Of course they _will_, but you really think that after... what happened she's going to be ready to really trust men again for awhile?   
I'm so sorry about that last chapter Suba-chan ~hugs her HARD~ I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry... Maybe someday she won't want to kill me. I'm going to try and counteract the extremely dismal, helpless tone of 13 with this bit of semi-fluff.   
Anyway, about this thing. Yes, it's a songfic. I don't see what people have against them, they can be much better than other stories, especially if they're done _right_ (case in point - Aeanagwen's stuff, she's GOOD). The gender is also completely screwed up, please ignore that, the overall tone and feeling fits. It's from Tokaki's POV, so I finally got a chance to go inside his head ^_^ Now THAT was an interesting experience... Not sure if I wanna repeat it. This also doesn't fit in with the timeline of the story, it's quite divergent, covering a good bit of ground/time. It has spoilers for things in my story, so it doesn't fit with anyone else's (like Ryn's). I wouldn't suggest reading this if you haven't gotten through chapter 13, or unless you don't mind sort-of spoilers. And of course there's a bit of language ^_^ It IS Tokaki, after all. The short lines in italics are the song lyrics, and everything else is his thoughts. Maybe this'll help explain Tokaki's thinking; it's worth a try anyway.   
On an amusing side note, I found this thing that would be perfect for helping Tokaki get his head straight. Go here - http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten/msn_14_dating_list.html - to see what I mean ^_^   
  


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_She's taking her time making up the reasons   
To justify all the hurt inside   
Guess she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes   
Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one_   
  
People talked. I know they did. I can't really blame 'em; shit, I even _expected_ it. I had my reasons why I acted the way I did, and I didn't care what "reputation" I got from it. People could talk all they want, I knew exactly what I was doing.   
Doesn't mean I under_stood_ it all the time. Sometimes I'd wake up, and look to my side, and there'd be a warm body there (attractive, naturally) but I didn't remember her name. And she was so close to me and she looked so innocent. But only looked, because nine times out of ten she'd no longer be innocent. Not that she would mind either, but that sort of thing gives a guy a reputation.   
  
_They're saying   
Mama never loved her much   
And daddy never keeps in touch   
That's why she shies away from human affection   
But somewhere in a private place   
She packs her bags for outer space   
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come_   
  
I guess it was kind of inevitable, if you like dissecting people's minds and getting into all that psychological shit. I don't, but I met someone who did once, in a bar. It didn't matter that he was stone drunk and I was on my way there, he got me to spill my life history somehow and then spent another couple hours drowning himself in a few more glasses of strong alcohol and telling me just how all that contributed to my present psyche… or something like that. According to him, since my father'd run off when I was young and my family wasn't that bonded, I had issues with trust and getting close to people. Eh, maybe he's right, who'm I to say? I don't know anything about any of that. But that night I had the sudden urge to roll my eyes, sock him in the jaw, and demand why I ran around picking up random women anywhere I could.   
So I did.   
Well, everything except the socking in the jaw part. I wasn't quite seeing straight enough for that; I think I hit the bar instead. But he got the point. He said I was trying to get over my issues with trust, but pushing them in the completely wrong direction and doing the completely wrong thing. Apparently every fling was a cry for help from my poor lost soul, and no one could see that and rescue it, so it controlled me and made me run around more.   
I threw him out the door and beat him up some more.   
I don't know _why_ I remembered all that, but I did. Maybe 'cause it gave some explanation for everything, even if I didn't believe it. Hell, I was attracted to those women, so why not do what I did? But that was more of a reason than I'd ever had before.   
  
_(and she'll say to him)   
She's saying   
I would fly you to the moon and back   
If you'll be if you'll be my baby   
Got a ticket for a world where we belong   
So would you be my baby   
Ooh-ooh_   
  
And then _she_ came into the picture. I spotted her and the Good Looking Woman Signal immediately flashed through my head. I'd learned a lot in the last couple years; I was hanging around places mostly women would go to shop, staying casually in the background, scoping out potential beauties, reluctantly remembering why exactly I was that far away from home in the first place and reminding myself of "business before pleasure"… but I still followed her. Of course, I'm me, aren't I?   
She HATED it. Hated hated hated with a capital HATED. Other women had too, of course, and for some reason that made them strangely more desirable, and so was the case with her. She smacked me around, but I was a stubborn fool and still went after her, determined to work her over while sharing a drink or something. It usually worked, there was no reason I could see for it not to this time. At least I got her name out of her. But then my particular talents were called into use (thief catching, a specialty) and I went after the guy and got back with him to find her freaking out over her merchant friend. I shoved the thief at the gathered crowd and tried to calm her down, but suddenly there was that light…   
And all my mind could think was _Damn_.   
  
_She can't remember a time   
When she felt needed   
If love was red then she was colour-blind   
All her friends they've been tried for treason   
And crimes that were never defined_   
  
My friends never knew about me, and so when the information got out about just WHO Tokaki was, they'd showed up to stare at me in awe. It made me reaaaaaaally uncomfortable. I'd never known a me without my powers so I didn't feel any different and didn't act any different and didn't look any different, but to them I _was_ different. It kind of scared me, that they could think so differently of me from one day to the next. They almost WORSHIPPED me. I don't think they ever got over it.   
I was pretty determined that this wouldn't happen to her, too - Subaru, her name ended up being. Especially since she didn't have any clue of this before herself. And she had her _family_ to deal with. Mine had always known, that made it a _little_ easier. So I went with her back to her house (I admit, I had ulterior motives) and made friends with her sister. Cute kid. I like kids, for some reason. And her parents took it about how I expected, not good at all, but I knew she didn't have a choice about coming and she _wanted_ to anyway. So I helped her… not exactly convince them, but push them back until we made our escape. My ulterior motives all went to dust as she locked herself in her room for the night, and then there was no time in the morning. Damnit. It was getting worse.   
  
_She's saying   
Love is like a barren place   
And reaching out for human faith is   
Is like a journey I just don't have a map for   
So baby gonna take a dive and push the shift to overdrive   
Send a signal that she's hanging all her hopes on the stars_   
  
And spending day after day and hour after hour with her was driving me nuts. I could be around Suzuno fine, even though she turned me down also, because although neither of them would admit it, she and Tatara were perfect together (I liked to think up fun ways of torturing confessions out of them). I wasn't that much of a woman-chaser that I'd go after someone spoken for - at least, not if I could help it. It happened once or twice by accident. So I hoped to block Subaru from my thoughts and go back to being regular old me with the memory of what her father said - something along the lines of "she's about to be married!" Hey, she was spoken for, that was my cue to give it up. But _she just wouldn't let me go!_   
Not Subaru herself, the _image_ of her, the _thought_ of her. When I was just sitting in my room thinking it'd be _her_ that swam up in front of my eyes. I wanted to hear her voice all the time; it was sexy and sweet at once. She could stand me, maybe even liked me as a friend, but she was driving me insane with only that. It was either all or nothing. And with her, I wanted all.   
  
_(What a pleasant dream) just saying   
I would fly you to the moon and back   
If you'll be if you'll be my baby   
Got a ticket for a world where we belong   
So would you be my baby_   
  
It scared me, the thought that maybe I was really getting _serious_ about a girl. My mother would rejoice, but my friends'd all relentlessly annoy me about it if they knew. But I couldn't help it. Every time she did something I paid special attention. Her words reached my foggy mind before anyone's, her footstep was easily told apart from a casual passerby. When something happened to her (trouble seemed to _love_ her) I'd always go nuts. It got to the point where I'd worry every time she'd set foot out of my sight, or rejoice when she came back, or looked forward to a blow from her as much as a kind word. I had it, _bad_.   
  
_Mamma never loved her much   
And daddy never keeps in touch   
That's why she shies away from human affection   
But somewhere in a private place   
She packs her bags for outer space   
And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come_   
  
So I waited. Or tried to. A few times I couldn't restrain myself. I seemed to lose control a lot at night, and it didn't help that she seemed to be an insomniac. Or she'd get drunk. On accident, but still. But by then, I _respected_ her. _That_ was a new thing. Me, respecting a woman. Don't get me wrong, I'd _liked_ all my previous flings, I just didn't know whether I respected them or not. But spending so much time with Subaru pounded respect so large that it bordered on awestruck worship into me. Yep, I was chained to her permanently. Even if she _didn't_ pick me (I was sure that someone like her, with looks AND brains, had several guys after her) I'd be there, following her like a little dog on a leash. So I had to get her before any competition did or I'd spend the rest of my life in grateful misery. Huh. What a paradox, grateful misery. How could misery be grateful? I'd be grateful to be near her, but I'd be miserable because I wasn't _with_ her. I needed to fix that, and soon; I was already heading in that direction.   
I tried to make my move a few times, but she pushed me away time and time again. I couldn't really blame her, if I went through what _she_ went through I'd have trouble even _looking_ at another guy. But I had to try, she was too precious to waste - me? saying precious? Yup, I was gone - and she had to be mine. She had to be with me forever. There was no other way.   
  
_(and she'll say to him)   
She's saying   
I would fly you to the moon and back   
If you'll be if you'll be my baby   
Got a ticket for a world where we belong   
So would you be my baby_   
  
And miracle of all miracles, at last she _accepted_ me.   
She loved me. It was true. It was really, completely true. She loved me. Me! How many mothers had screamed (at my retreating back, of course) that with my reputation no decent girl would ever stay with me? I wasn't exactly sure if she was what they meant by "decent," but if being a seishi - even with her tendency to bash people and her stubbornness and her ruling personality - wasn't decent enough then I didn't know what decent was. And here I was, just a poor boy from a slum, and I was one of the most famous people in the country and I was in love with a woman who's every fault made me love her more and she loved me and we were happy.   
Sounds all right to me.   
  
_I would fly you to the moon and back   
If you'll be if you'll be my baby   
Got a ticket for a world where we belong   
So would you be my baby_   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: So, whaddya think? Make no doubt about it, they ARE gonna get together. Just not yet ^_^ Hopefully this abated the craving for a little.   
I might try to do more of these little side-stories in the future. Not neccesarily songfics, although those are kinda fun, but just regular stories, too. Maybe about Toroki or Kokie or someone. What do you all think, should I?   



	15. Chapter 14: No

  
DISCLAIMER: I probably own more stuff in this story than most of my others, but I still don't own Fushigi Yugi.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: God, that last chapter was so hard to write... I knew it was coming, but I kept trying to avoid it and avoid it and wish I didn't have to put it in there... but after awhile I couldn't avoid it any longer. I really broke down crying as I wrote that scene, it hurt for real to have to do that to her. I know she isn't real, but still... sometimes they _do_ seem real, don't they? They seem like friends, or role models, or something else.   
Thank you everyone for the output after the last chapter and that little extra ~hugs them all~ The threats were perchance a _tad_ overboard, but I can understand. I'm so glad you guys like her enough to be afraid for her and want to "kick his ass to mars and back" for what he did. And I'm glad you liked the song fic (which I admit is not the most popular of genres). I kinda had to write the songfic to counter 13, in fact. Whoo, lucky 13... That is a _complete_ coincidence, I swear.   
In somewhat better news, I'm gonna put up on my site the "soundtrack" for this story - just as soon as I get around to finishing the page ^^;;;;;; There's a lot of songs on there, actually, and a fairly diverse selection, as I listen to almost everything under the sun. Hopefully I'll have that finished soon.   
Thank you so much everyone again! ~hugs them all once more~   
  


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"Time turn… Time turn…"   
My voice was hoarse in my throat, each word scraping itself out of my mouth to fall uselessly on the floor. I hadn't been able to stop it, hadn't been able to prevent it, hadn't been able to do _anything_ as that man repeatedly forced himself inside of me, hurting me more than I'd ever dreamed imaginable. I'd screamed and screamed and screamed until I was slapped in the face and told to shut up, but no one came to help. No one heard me; the walls were too thick, the spot too secluded. He'd grabbed me, kissed me, raped me as I lay there helpless, even my thoughts frozen on one single word: _no_.   
It had lasted so long. So, so long… time after time after time, each time hurting, each time driving me nearly to the point of insanity. He'd loved it, it was clear in his eyes and on his face. He was the type of sick pervert to do that for fun.   
But even that hadn't been the end of it. After a long time, he stood up, leaving me weeping silently on the floor, trying to take myself away from what was going on. He'd nodded to the talkative guard, the one that had brought me there. The guard had grinned evilly and expectantly. And he'd done it, too. It hurt even more; he was bigger than Taheiji, not only in height and weight, and I screamed even more as he ripped into me over and over.   
I think I fainted. At the very least I managed to let go of my consciousness, because the next thing I'd noticed were the bars of my cell and the blanket wrapped around me. However, what actually woke me was the stabbing pain that was shooting through my body. I curled up in a small ball on the floor, hugging my arms over my exposed chest, and cried. I cried for a long, long time, not caring who or what heard me, not hearing anything besides my own choked sobs.   
When I ran out of tears I slowly said the healing spell, not expecting it to work at all. But amazingly the physical pain was gone in the backward wind.   
I almost couldn't tell. The emotional pain was still there, scarring my very soul, each and every moment of torture burned clearly into my memory. I'd close my eyes and see the rapture on Taheiji's face, or my hands clenching themselves weakly into fists as I lost the energy to fight back. If I didn't make myself focus on something else, I'd hear Taheiji's "Hold her" echo around me, or the guard's moans as he made me scream, or the resounding slap across my cheek. My nose still carried the smell of the room: dry and slightly dusty, with a peculiar twang to it. My skin crawled with the memory of those rough, unfamiliar hands. All around me, surrounding me, were tortures guaranteed to never let me forget a moment.   
I think some dim part of my mind realized that Suzuno was shouting to get my attention, sobbing herself with her inability to reach me, but I couldn't see much past the last few hours. Every time a new, horrible memory leapt into my consciousness I said the healing spell with my already raspy voice. I didn't notice the condition of my speech, my only slight comfort being taken from those winds, the friendly winds, who even if they couldn't erase memories could at least undo the pain. And all the while I wept.   
I was… unclean. I was trash, nothing but filthy, filthy trash. And I was weak. It was just as the guard had said, a smooth talker but weak in real problems. No one would want me now. I had been used, I had been punished for my weakness. Tokaki would never want me now. I didn't care if I ate or drank; I just wanted to die. My only problem was I had no means with which to kill myself.   
I lay there for a long time. Once, I drifted into sleep, but my dreams were filled with the horrible memories, and I bolted as soon as I could, sitting straight up and nearly strangling myself with the blanket still wrapped around my upper half. Then I sobbed and lay back down again, crying into my hair, soaking the rope on my wrists.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"_SUBA-CHAN!_"   
I drifted out of the darkness I'd sunken into and slowly looked at Suzuno. Her eyes were red and tortured, her skin splotchy, tear tracks shining in the dim light the prison received. I couldn't face her. I buried my head in my arms again as my body shook with my crying.   
"Suba-chan! Suba-chan, what happened?! What is it?! TALK TO ME!"   
I still didn't respond. Seishi or not, I was nothing now, beneath even the notice of the sacred miko. I was nothing. I was nothing…   
"She was raped." The new voice was clear, but slightly shaky. It wavered a bit on the last word. "That's what Taheiji does to his female prisoners…"   
"WHAT?! Oh my god… Subaru!"   
"Wait a minute." There was clicking, like footsteps crossing the stone, and a small clink, followed by a clank. Then came a squeal as a cell door swung open, and more footsteps, scrambling, muted ones. I barely took notice as the refrain of _nothing, nothing_ replayed in my head, my tears trickling quietly into my hair. Then more clinking, clanking, squealing, and running footsteps. Something touched my arm and I shrieked loudly, jumping up and back at the same time, scrambling away from the contact.   
Suzuno stood just where I'd been lying, her arm extended toward me, a look of pure pain on her face. It wasn't pain for her, no; it was pain for _me_. I just stared at her with wide eyes, too unsure to move.   
She looked quickly to her left as the door swung shut again. The key-guard was out there, watching her sympathetically. "I'm sorry, I can't leave the door open and let you out."   
Her face softened and she nodded slowly. "I understand… thank you."   
He nodded in return and left to go back to his post.   
Suzuno looked at me once more, her eyes again beginning to fill with tears. "Oh, Suba-chan…" She walked slowly to me, her nearly bare feet making tiny shuffling sounds on the dark gray stone. "Suba-chan…"   
"Time turn back on the body of myself to this point of yesterday…" I choked out in a whisper. The winds blew around me again, supposedly taking away my pain, but I could still feel them in me, and I wanted them out, out…   
"Suba-chan…" She dropped to her knees in front of me, reaching out slowly so as not to scare me, and gently touched the blanket that was beginning to slip off my shoulders. Beneath it, all I had were my clothes, which were torn beyond repair and showed everything I possessed. My seishi symbol, for once not restricted by fabric, was glowing freely as I used my powers, a bit of the light spilling out of the folds of the blanket. "Oh my god, Suba-chan, I'm so sorry." Suzuno gently crawled up next to me and settled down, ignoring my flinching away. She put her arms around my shoulders and hugged me to her tightly. I didn't have the strength to pull free. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, so sorry…"   
I buried my face in her shoulder, clutching her sleeve. "I'm nothing…"   
"Shhhh… No you're not, you're not, I promise you. Here, let me get those off." She reached for my wrists and began inspecting the stubborn knots. "Hmm…" The ends of the rope were dangling together; she grabbed them and began feeding them through the complex labyrinth backwards, going slowly to avoid mistakes. I flinched a couple of times, but she didn't notice and just continued working. Soon the last knot fell apart and she could pull the rope from my hands, tossing it over her shoulder and hugging me fiercely again. I also threw my arms around her and held on for dear life, sobbing into her jacket. Even though the idea of being close to anyone made me want to scream, somehow in this case it was comforting. She simply held me and stroked my hair, making sympathetic sounds, mothering me to help me. I fell asleep from pure exhaustion as we sat there together, my head pillowed on her shoulder.   
She gently shook me awake a few hours later. I blinked at the window and saw only sky and stars; night had fallen some time ago. Suzuno sat up a little straighter, watching the hall in front of our cell. The key-guard was standing there, trying to balance two trays, two cups, and a teapot as he fumbled for the key. Somehow he was able to find it and unlock the door without dropping anything; he walked in a little way and set everything on the floor, then walked out again and shut the door.   
Suzuno looked from him to the food and back again, questioningly. "It's all right," the guard hastened to affirm, "there's none of the sleeping drug in any of it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. You two deserve a break."   
"Thank… Thank you." She gently unwrapped my arms from around her and slowly approached the trays, still eyeing them suspiciously. They held plain fare, only bread and rice, food to keep someone alive rather than nourish them completely. They didn't look any different than normal bread and rice, but that meant nothing: drugs could be put in before cooking as easily as after. And they could be put in tea easier than almost anything.   
Suddenly the guard spoke again, his voice a bit sharp, as if he were offended. "I swear by the claws of Seiryu that there is nothing there that will hurt you. Will you believe me now? I'll even test it if you want."   
"Iie… that's not necessary. You wouldn't offer if it wasn't safe." Suzuno gripped the edges of the trays and tugged them back to my spot, then reached forward and hooked the teapot. She poured the tea into the cups and placed one into my hands, closing my fingers around it and pushing it up to my face. I didn't fight and drank deeply, the near-scalding temperature taking me away from my thoughts for the moment as it poured over my tongue. Soon she pulled it away and placed it on the tray, nearly empty, and replaced it with a small bowl of rice, arranging chopsticks in my fingers. I obeyed like a meek little girl, eating small bits of the rice slowly. A very detached part of me was disgusted with my inability to stay with my wish to die by not eating, but a small part closer to me was thankful to Suzuno. After all, if I didn't live, I might never see justice done to those bastards.   
Suzuno watched me like a hawk until a third of the rice was gone, then picked up her own dinner and began eating. She ate much faster than I did; she was finished with all of it before I'd even gotten two-thirds of the way through the rice. She set her cup with a rattle on the tray, then looked up at the hallway. The guard was still there. He'd had a seat against the bars that formed the door to Suzuno's cell, watching us calmly, no emotion on his face. He didn't look mean, he didn't look threatening, and he wasn't contemplating something. He wasn't even holding a weapon. "What are you doing?"   
"Sitting here until you're both done. I have to take that stuff back."   
"Why are you being nice to us?" Her voice was low, her head hung as she sighed. "We're the enemy, the ones you have to beat…"   
He snorted and almost seemed to shove something away with his foot, but there was nothing to shove. "This a damn stupid and unfair way to fight a war. I didn't sign up for this. I didn't know I'd be part of an army that took prisoners unfairly and molested them and starved them and killed as many civilians as soldiers! I wanted to get away from the fighting at home and find a new place to live, but not this way!" His voice rose gradually but steadily with every thought, causing him to almost shout the last few words. He panted a little when he finished his outburst, making himself relax against the bars as we stared. "It's just all unfair. Boss's sick, he really is. He's really insane. He could've waited it out back in Kutou, grabbed a place when everything got settled down again, maybe even been Emperor. He's tenacious enough. But no, he decides to take over some other country, some place that's mostly sand and it almost never rains, and where there's already people living. He'd mad, he's really, really crazy."   
"You mean he's clinically insane? Uhh…" She hunted for a new word as both the guard and I looked at her, not sure what the word "clinically" meant. "A doctor would say he's insane? For real?"   
The guard shrugged. "Sure seems like it… Why else would we be out here, roasting and freezing and dying when he could easily get the top spot back home?"   
"Wow… That would explain a _lot_," she murmured to herself. She looked up at the guard again and flashed him a smile as I picked up the bread. "What's your name?"   
He studied her for a minute, openly, but not evilly. "Yujiro," he said finally. "Bu Yujiro. Originally from Tenryo. Most of my family's still there."   
"Thank you for helping us, Bu-san," she replied.   
"It's nothing. I'm sorry I can't do more, but if I did, they'd probably kill me. I've got a small daughter, I want to see her again… Gomen."   
"No, it's all right… I understand. It's still better than we've had." Suzuno retook her place next to me, putting an arm around my shoulder and gently pulling down my head to lean on her shoulder. I sighed deeply and reached for her hand, which she gave unquestioningly. The guard made me nervous. I suspected most males would for a long time, especially the unfamiliar ones. But he seemed like a decent sort, all in all. "What's it like being in the army? Is it as exciting as the stories say?"   
Yujiro snorted expressively. "Exciting? Haphazard is more like it. Most days you sit there doing nothing, and when you do something you fight. And you can see it in their faces that they know perfectly well that they're in the right and we're in the wrong… If I'd have known it'd be like this, I would've stayed home. Even civil war's better than feeling like complete, total slime."   
"You're not slime. Taheiji's the slime, and the guys like him. You're not. And probably most of the other soldiers are just regular people as well."   
He nodded. "I think so… no one talks much, but most of the others seem all right. Not the ones here, though."   
I slowly picked up my head and watched him closely. Was there possibly a reason for him being the only decent one we'd met so far? "What's wrong with the others?"   
He jumped when I spoke and looked at me in complete surprise. Suzuno, too, was regarding me sharply. "What's wrong?" Yujiro repeated. I nodded silently. "You mean why are they different?" Again I nodded. "Well, because… they're Boss's personal guard. They're not in the army, really, but a lot of them have officer posts, they're all great fighters, and they think almost exactly like him."   
"Are you the only… non-personal guard here?" Suzuno stumbled slightly over the awkward words, but there wasn't really a better way to put it.   
"Iie. There are others. Just not many. I think he wanted to keep you a secret. He randomly picked a group of us from my division the night before you got here-" he nodded at Suzuno "-and then… we were just _here_, and received assignments and hush-up orders. I don't know _why_ he wants you two kept quiet, though," he murmured, almost to himself. "We've had prisoners before. Why should you two be any different? Why are you bound and drugged?"   
I glanced up at Suzuno, and sure enough I found her watching me again, a sharp warning in her eyes. Apparently Bu Yujiro didn't know exactly who'd been captured, and even if he _was_ nice she didn't want him to find out. Fine by me.   
I nodded slightly at her and she smiled back at me. Then she glanced up at Yujiro again, clearing her throat. "I think we're done." She motioned in the direction of the now-empty cups and bare dishes. "Can I ask one more small favor? Can you get me my blanket?"   
He nodded and stood, a bit awkwardly, as if one of his legs had gone to sleep. He stamped it twice against the floor, then half-limped through the still-open door of Suzuno's cell and grabbed not only the blanket but the pallet as well. They weighed little and he picked them up easily together, carrying them back to us. He didn't open the door, but the cross-braces were far enough apart, even if the bars weren't, to let the pallet turn on its side and slip through the bars. Suzuno caught it easily, grabbing the blanket as it attempted to fall off, and dragged it over next to mine. Apparently she knew the routine: she passed the trays, cups, and dishes out through the bars as well, nodding her thanks to Yujiro. He nodded back, silent like Suzuno, and walked away with the things.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The passage of time ceased for me. How incredibly ironic. I, the controller of time, was now a prisoner of it. But a grateful prisoner. I sunk into that welcoming blackness, not feeling anything of the real world, not even Suzuno's sleeve under my cheek and passed the night there. No memories assaulted me, my mind thankfully could not function to bring to mind anything at all.   
I was so out of touch with material things that even though my eyes were open, the sudden deluge of sunlight when I came back to myself again made me blink and shrink away. Daylight… why did something seem important about the day?   
Carefully skirting all thought of the previous afternoon, I retraced my thought pattern, starting with the second interrogation. Questions, answers, lies, facades… the answer didn't lie there. Further then… ah yes. My mind had pushed away all remembrances of the dream I'd had where I'd talked to Toroki in the horror that had come. That dream I wanted so much to be true, but knew it possibly couldn't be.   
"Suba-chan?" came a voice by me, softly. I turned mechanically to the sound, watching Suzuno's face come into view. She'd pushed our pallets together against the wall and had somehow managed to get me to move to sit on there, and we'd slept there, she still holding me tightly. For my comfort or hers, I knew not which, and scarcely cared. She was acting just like any sister would have, and I was strangely grateful to her. She smiled kindly at me. "What are you thinking about?"   
I responded automatically, my mouth saying the words before I'd even thought them out. "A dream."   
"A bad dream?"   
"No."   
"What dream then?"   
"One I had yesterday… With Toroki."   
She smiled again, a bit sadly. "You miss them… I do, too."   
"I talked to Toroki," my mouth added helpfully.   
"Oh? What did he say?"   
"They're coming to get us today." Yes, that was what was important. My dream … Toroki had said it would take a day and a half to reach us, and a day – could it really have been that little time? – had passed. "But it was just a dream."   
Suzuno's face fell and she nodded reluctantly, as if she'd wanted to believe in my dream as much as I had. I couldn't blame her, it gave some form of hope, but it was only a dream. "I guess so…" She sighed heavily, untangling herself from me and standing up, leaving me feeling frighteningly small and alone and… unclean. She paced as well as she could about the cell, shaking out her arms and stretching, trying to feel human again. "I want to see them again soon…"   
"Especially Tatara, right?"   
She glanced over her shoulder at my quiet inquiry. "What?"   
I forced my voice to come louder from my throat, try and reach her ears. "You want to see Tatara the most, right?"   
She just stared at me wide-eyed. "Wherever did you get that idea?"   
"It's very apparent to anyone with eyes," I replied quietly, letting my mind drift back to our talk while riding from the capital, and when we'd discovered that Suzuno was gone. The sheer rage that had been in him… "I think he wants to see you more than anyone. You'll never have a problem with him…" As much as I tried to stop it, regardless of how much I hated it, the tears came again, filling my eyes and spilling over to run unchecked down my cheeks. I couldn't bear looking at her like that, so I turned, burying my face as well as I could in my own shoulder.   
"Oh, Subaru…" She stepped forward slowly, kneeling next to me, tentatively reaching out to lay a hand on my shaking shoulder. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know… When we get out of here, I'll stay back, I promise. If he makes you happy, then you should be with him-"   
"Iie!" _What_ was she thinking?! "I don't like him like that," I said sharply, the only way the words would emerge. "He's a very good man who loves you very deeply, and _you_ need to be with him. But… He'll always… be there for you, no matter what…" I had lost it. I had lost my chance at securing a good future, the future I wanted. Before all the seishi business began, when I'd pictured the future I'd always seen one full of activity and people I loved, with a husband I loved more than anything in the world and maybe even children I could love as well. But now no man would stay with me, not after he knew what happened. And while I might be in one piece again, how could he not find out? I was unclean, I was a whore, I was unfit to be a wife. There was no way, just no way, men _that_ forgiving were few and far between. "He will be…" I was suffering, but so far I'd had a charmed life, unlike any of the other seishi: little death, no poverty, just simple good times. Now was my time to pay the price. But I hadn't thought the price would be that heavy. "And I'll be alone…"   
"No you _won't_ Subaru, so just stop talking like that RIGHT NOW!" My head jerked up in surprise, staring at the girl in front of me in shock. What had…?   
She was much changed from even a few moments before. She was glaring at me, full out glaring with as much tormented anger as I'd ever seen a person possess. Her hands were clenched into fists at her side, and they were shaking slightly; her fingers kept opening and closing the fists, never letting it go for long. Her face was red, her eyes narrowed, tears running freely down her cheeks. She was furious. "STOP IT! Just STOP! Listen to you! Cowering and crying here when you're the _strongest freaking woman I know!_ You're not YOU! You're not Subaru! Subaru wouldn't sit her, drowning herself in self-pity, never thinking of anyone else! _I WANT SUBARU BACK!_" Her chest heaved with her deep breaths as she finished shouting, her hands still shaking a bit. "I want Subaru back…"   
Then, amazingly, that pestering voice in my head returned. I nearly fainted with joy; it had barely made itself known since I'd set foot in this stone prison. _She's right, you know. Now start acting like yourself again!_   
I slowly uncurled from my little ball, staring at her. She was simply kneeling there, watching me silently, waiting to see my reaction. "Suzuno…"   
"What?" Her voice was like a knife.   
I drew in a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy at all. You can't just go back to normal after something like that, there's no way. If you can then you're not human. "I… I can't… make promises…" I began, unsure of how this would be received, but somehow knowing it was the only thing to say. "I can't, it's impossible… but I'll try… I think I might be able to… promise you that… Is that all right?"   
Without a word, she launched herself at me, colliding with me and hugging me deeply, a hug that I returned with mutual feeling. Dear, sweet Suzuno… she was my saving grace. She really was my sister… "It's all I can ask for. Now, explain yourself."   
"A-About what?"   
"Why did you think you'd be alone?" She still sounded somewhat hurt, and her large eyes also conveyed that emotion. "We're your friends, Suba-chan. There's no way you'd ever be rid of us."   
"There's no way you can know that until it happens… It happens so often; something bad comes to one person and everyone else leaves. I know people who would do it to me if they had the chance. Men especially."   
Suzuno tilted her head at me slightly, sending her braids swinging. "Are you worried that no one will want you now?"   
I nodded silently.   
To my complete and utter amazement, she burst out laughing. "Oh god! Oh, baka Subaru!" She drew a deep breath and kept laughing, unable to stop, wiping away the old salty tear tracks with her right hand. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! If they're worth anything they'll have _sympathy_ for you! You shouldn't worry!"   
"But I have to." I shifted uncomfortably, trying to push myself up to lean against the stone wall better. "That's true, too. They might have sympathy for me, but stay with me? Never. You'll never have to worry about that with Tatara, he's devoted to you, heart and soul for all time."   
"But Tatara's not the issue here. You are," she replied with the promptness of one who wanted to push away a subject. _Ah-hah,_ my inner voice commented, once again up to its old tricks, _she's still uncomfortable with the subject, just like him. How sweet._ "And you're making this a bigger deal than it is."   
"Name one guy who would stick around," I remarked, perhaps a little bitterly.   
Fortunately she didn't seem to notice my tone, immediately occupying herself with filling the request. "Well…" she said after a moment. "What about Tokaki?"   
I blinked rapidly at her. She had to be kidding. "You have to be kidding."   
"Nope. He's fanatical about you, you have to have seen it by now. He was so worried when you passed out!" I refrained from asking _Which time?_ as she didn't know of more than one. "And he's not a _bad_ guy… I think."   
"No, just goes around trying to seduce every woman he meets." _Actually,_ that voice remarked silently, _he hasn't done that lately. Been too busy with you._ I pushed it back into submission. "And he doesn't like me like that."   
The frown on Suzuno's face was never expressed in words as we both heard the wooden door open at the end of the hall and looked at it in fear. We remained silent for long minutes, waiting for any one of the Personal Guard to show and drag one of us off, maybe beat us for being in the same cell. Fortunately, the only person to show after that long period of terror was Yujiro, who brought us more rice and some water. He didn't stay to chat this time, only reassure us (thanks to Suzuno's question) that the men wouldn't find us in here together, as he had delegated to himself the task of fetching us from our cells. He could make it appear that we were still separated, and holding the only set of keys gave him a power the others couldn't argue with. We ate quickly, me acting on my own this time, ignoring the way he stared at me in disbelief. He was nice, yes, but he still made me uncomfortable. I hated the side effects with a passion.   
I wanted a bath desperately as well, but there was nowhere to find one (poor Suzuno hadn't seen more water than could fit in a cup since she'd been there) and presumably no one who could supply one. I tried to push the niggling insistence that I find some way to get one to the back of my mind, and spent the rest of the morning gouging holes in the edges of the blanket that was still wrapped around me with a stone that Suzuno found kicked into a corner, using threads from my wrecked clothes to tie it into some form of a shirt that was more like a doublet than anything else. We folded the blanket in half, aligning the holes, and simply tied them up each side, so it made a sort of large pocket with one open end and two big holes near the bottom on the sides. The big holes were where we hadn't punched thread-holes, purposefully left so I could slide my arms through them. The stone wasn't the best cutting tool in the world, but it managed to eke out a sort of hole for my head to go through on the folded edge. It wasn't the best of clothing, but it would do. It made me feel much better to have something covering me that I didn't have to grip shut all the time; it had slipped much more than once.   
The day passed slowly. I tried, I really did, but I would often relapse, turn away from the sun and into the shadows once more, more often than not holding back tears. Suzuno seemed to understand, even expect it, and she let me have times to myself and sometimes forced me out of it. She seemed to know just what I needed at each point, and would act accordingly. I confessed to her my inexplicable need for a bath, and she simply nodded in understanding and said she was sorry she couldn't get me one.   
Once, around noon, the rage that I knew had to be hiding somewhere in me came roaring out in full force, possessing me with the need to _hurt something_. Suzuno quickly got out of the way as I tried to beat down the stone wall with my fists alone, scrapping my knuckles raw and bloody and producing scratches along my arms as well. I just pictured Taheiji's face, or that guard's, every single time I was punching, determined to make them suffer as much as I had. After awhile I calmed down again, returning to my right mind and finally sensing the pain in my hands, which the healing spell took care of easily enough. I realized that soon I wouldn't be able to do that spell for a few hours; it would take me back to the state I was in while I was in that room. Any injury would be better than that.   
Dusk fell, and once again Bu Yujiro brought us the plain fare we'd been living on, and once again I ate without prompting. He seemed much less shocked this time, but still watched me closely. Would I never stop being an oddity to him?   
We filled the spare time with quiet talk about our friends. I told her much more about Kokie, the circumstances we'd gotten him in (leaving out the minor matter of my health problems), and what he could do. She was fascinated with everything, and pressed me for details until I'd told her absolutely everything I could possibly remember about him. When she'd wrung me dry on that subject, she demanded tales from our journey to find her. Once again, I left out a fact or two – such as my getting drunk, and much of my interaction with Tokaki – but I fulfilled her wishes as much as I could.   
It had been night for a couple of hours, and we were beginning to get drowsy, when I thought I faintly heard through the small, barred window frantic shouting. A query to Suzuno told me that she heard nothing, but it didn't surprise me that much; my hearing was better than most people's. It might have been something stupid to be proud of, but I was for some obscure reason. I pulled myself to my feet, a bit awkwardly in the oversized blanket-shirt, and pulled myself up on tiptoe to peer out the bars.   
There was something going on, but I couldn't tell what. Every so often I'd see a soldier running across my line of vision, always heading from left to right – to the west. They seemed to be the same type of guard as Yujiro, with their not-so-fine clothes and serviceable, not expensive, weapons. Occasionally one of the Personal Guard would take the same track. I craned my head in that direction to see what I could, but the trees and rock wall hid everything from sight.   
"Subaru? What's going on?"   
"I don't know." I let go of the bars, lowering myself to stand flat on my feet again. "There are soldiers running, but I can't see where they're going. But something's happening… we better just sit still. It's not like we can do much otherwise."   
She shook her head, a slight frown on her face. "No, it's not."   
We sat down again, trying to keep to the shadows and perhaps out of sight, listening to the increasing noise outside. We could both plainly hear it now, shouts mingling over the air to drift in to our small prison.   
The only cause I could think of was that it might be a revolt. The regular soldiers might have had enough and decided to fight their way free; if that was the case I wished them the extremely best of luck.   
We were silent as we listened, time seeming slow even to me. At least ten minutes later, probably more, there was banging, crashing, and thudding from down the corridor, in the direction of the wooden door and the hallway beyond. Whatever was coming was coming _here_. We tried to shrink even more to avoid notice.   
The door didn't just open this time, it was _slammed_ open. It sounded hard enough to snap even that formidable piece of hardwood off its hinges. "Shit…" I breathed. In the wrong circumstances, we were in serious trouble.   
Then there came an echo of Yujiro's voice, and then hard footsteps pounding in our direction- "Suzuno! Subaru! Where are you?!"   
_TOROKI!_   
"Shout! Where are you?!"   
_KOKIE!_   
I drew enough breath into my lungs to surge to my feet and shout back. "HERE! HERE! We're in here!"   
And then my other saving graces were before us.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Now please note that she is in no way over it. I just couldn't write her like that for very long. But it's going have a major effect on her psyche for awhile to come and make her make some decisions she probably wouldn't make otherwise.   
And look! ~points excitedly~ I'm being nice! The others have arrived and are going to try to get them out! WAI!   
Fun fact: I named Yujiro after my friend's car. For real. She got a new car a couple months ago and was like "This car is a boy... This car is a bishie... I think I'll name him after my favorite bishounen!" I forget which three she named it after, but I know one's from Ronin Warriors and another's from Weiss Kruez. In fact, two might be from Ronin... But the really strange thing is that it's a real name. My spellcheck never highlighted it, and it's notorious for highlighting the names I choose.   
I think that's it for this time, see ya in 15!   
(Oh yes - J. Liha, you are entirely right. He _is_ a sexy devil ^__^)   



	16. Chapter 15: Possession and Solemnity

  
DISCLAIMER: What do you think? ^_~   
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah, Kaze-chan has no life right about now. This semester's play's going up THIS WEEK. We've been working overtime for two weeks trying to built the set, gather props, find costumes, do programs, flyers, etc... yeah, no life. Which means little/no time to write. But don't worry, the posts will go on! ~trumpet fanfare~  
  
For some weird reason, this is one of my favorite chapters. Not as in happy-favorite, but, well... I don't know. For some reason, I just... like this chapter.Hopefully you all will, too.   
And now, back to the action. ~hits the Play button and sends Toroki and Kokie into action~   
  


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Both boys were streaked with dirt and mud, their hair messy, grim looks of determination playing over their faces as they sprinted into view, Toroki surprisingly moving perfectly fine on his own. Kokie held no weapon, but Toroki's bow was ready to shoot, an arrow notched on the string. Their clothes were grimy, as if they hadn't changed in days. As I looked closer, I could tell they hadn't: their clothing was exactly the same as on the night I was kidnapped, just more worn. Kokie's arm was still bandaged, but even that wasn't as clean as it could be. They must have been really worried.   
They'd had reason.   
"Subaru-san!" Kokie ran up to the bars and gripped them in his hands. "Don't worry… have you out in a min- is that Suzuno-san?" He peered with interest at the girl next to me, who was watching him with the exact same expression of curiosity.   
"Later, Kokie, get them out!" Toroki stood right behind him, back to the cell, carefully shifting back and forth, on guard for anyone sneaking up on us from either direction.   
"All right, all right. Just a second…" He braced himself carefully, squinting at the bars in his hands in determined concentration, the very tip of his tongue just barely sticking out of the corner of his mouth. He let his weight fall, holding himself up by his grip on the bars alone, and began _pulling_.   
It was very surreal. From the area of his shoulder came a very faint, tremulous light, mostly obscured by his clothing; I could barely see it, and I probably wouldn't have noticed it at all if I didn't know exactly what to look for. But the effect around his hands was far more visible. They themselves began glowing bright white, the light flowing off them to engulf not only the bars he gripped, which were about three feet apart, but also all the iron from ceiling to floor between his hands – a good chunk of metal. And he just pulled. He let himself sag, bringing his weight down with him, and the metal where the white light ended began to _melt_, falling to the floor in water-like drips. The top pulled out of its holes, looking like bizarre metal candles as the melted metal ran down the bars, forming small piles at the crossbars. The crossbars themselves, as if in perfect synchronization, flowed apart one after the other from top to bottom, the end result being Kokie flat on the floor with a large section of the bars lying on top of him.   
I watched in semi-alarm as the bars seemed to squash him, their new wax-like state making them easily drape over him like cloth. Would he be trapped there? Would they crush him? It had to be extremely heavy… But all fears proved unfounded as he easily folded it over on itself, sliding out from beneath it and rising to his feet almost gracefully. "Come on! Now!"   
I started forward as Suzuno scrambled up behind me, sliding through the gap with ease and reaching for Toroki's outstretched hand. At some point while Suzuno and I were staring at Kokie with unabashed amazement, he'd become satisfied that no one was going to sneak up on us for the next few minutes and began worrying about getting us out of there. "Come on! Let's get out of here!" I grabbed for his hand and he pulled me swiftly away from the "door" so Suzuno could get out, Kokie helping her not twist an ankle on the removed portion lying on the floor.   
I don't know why, I don't know how, but just then, I lost it. Maybe it was seeing them again and them having _no_ idea what happened. Maybe it was just the overwhelming sense of relief. Maybe it was simply the fact that I left that cell for the first time without a guard. But I broke down crying on Toroki's shoulder, sobbing into the cheap, coarse fabric that he'd refused to let be replaced, clinging to his arm for all I was worth. I was a wreck, just a wreck.   
Kokie, I knew, was staring at me in horror, and Suzuno was only watching, that helpless look on her face again. But neither of them seemed to exist as Toroki grappled around and finally placed a hand on top of my head, trying to figure out just what was wrong with me. "Subaru? Are you all right? Are you hurt?"   
"Thank you, thank you… thank you…" It seemed all I was able to say. Overwhelming sadness coupled with the intense feeling of freedom and left me flat in its wake. I was right; there was no way anything that monstrous could be gotten over that quickly, especially in unfamiliar situations.   
"What's going on?" Poor Toroki was completely confused.   
"It's a long story. Let's get her out of here," Suzuno replied, slightly grimly. Kokie nodded in agreement and began running down the hall, her sleeve still gripped in his hand. She quickly pulled free but kept running with him, even their paces matching as if they'd been doing this for a long time together. I forced myself under control, wiping away at the tears with the corner of the blanket, and began guiding Toroki back down the corridor. He barely seemed to need it, but he was keeping most of his mind focused on holding his bow in a ready-to-fire position and making sure we weren't ambushed to worry about banging into stone walls.   
There was a strangled grunt from somewhere down the hall and a sharp, indistinct cry. Then a rebuttal, then more talking, or growling really… "Oh no…" I picked up speed, nearly pulling Toroki despite his protests, coming through the door that separated Yujiro's room from the corridor, and skidding to a halt. "_Kokie!_"   
He had Yujiro easily, an arm that no fourteen-year-old should have, that had been shaped by constant heavy work, pressed against his chest, effectively pinning him to the wall. A knife that had to be Yujiro's own was in his other hand, bare millimeters from its owner's throat. His look was one of pure rage, an emotion that was horribly wrong on his normally gentle face. On their other side was Suzuno, glaring daggers at Kokie and hanging on the arm with the knife, trying to drag it away from Yujiro. She was also yelling sharply at him to _stop it_ but he wasn't paying her any attention. Every little bit she made the knife move away from the sympathetic guard was counteracted by the knife itself, which was glowing a dull white as it sporadically grew longer and thinner. Yujiro was also trying to talk him out of it, remaining calm even with a knife at his throat, trying to convince Kokie of his overall innocence. Byakko, it was so _wrong_…   
I had to stop it, even if I got hurt myself. "Kokie, _no!_" I blindly rushed him, hoping to distract him just enough for Yujiro to get away or slip free or _something_. The boy turned to look at me too late to stop me, and I slammed into him with all the speed I had gathered, knocking him back hard and making him jerk his hand so the knife cut a deep slash on Yujiro's jaw and chin. He cried out in pain and surprise and collapsed suddenly to the floor, gripping the lower half of his face as Suzuno dropped to her knees next to him, trying to help him.   
Kokie recovered quickly and fought, but I dug in my feet and held him back, using my entire body. Poor Toroki could only stand there, out of the way, confused at all the shouting. "NO! Kokie, no! Stay away from him!" I raised my voice as high as it could go, attempting to reach him and return him to the Joji I knew. "Kokie! Stop!"   
"He's one of _them_! Let me go!"   
"KOKIE!"   
He froze. That pitch, that commanding tone, that voice… That was _Suzuno_. Sweet Suzuno, who wouldn't hurt a fly. She was watching him with plenty more rage than she'd directed at me that morning, looking as if she'd kill him herself if she had the chance. She stood, keeping her gaze on him, and began taking slow, deliberate steps in our direction. "Do you know what you have just done?"   
I quickly backed out of the way of the miko's rage, stepping strategically behind and around Toroki, taking his arm and pulling him with me to kneel next to Yujiro, who was ignoring his freely bleeding face and staring dumbly at Suzuno.   
"You've harmed a good and innocent man." She took another step, and another. "You've hurt the one man who helped us through everything and wanted to keep us safe. You just hurt the only one we could trust here." She was truly an awesome sight. I was reminded of some advanced foreign goddess of thunder and fire, her elements swirling around her as she moved on her prey. "Why did you do that?"   
"Su… Su-Suzuno-san… He's… He's one of _them_-"   
SMACK.   
My eyes widened in total surprise. Suzuno had just hauled off and slapped him across the face. No little slap either, from the tears in his eyes and the slightly red touch to his cheek. Her hand was still raised, ready to backhand him as well if need be. "Not all people on the good side are good, Kokie." She lowered her hand when he didn't make a move. "And not all people on the bad side are bad."   
I forced myself to turn away and tend to Yujiro. His blood had formed a red river down his throat, tricking into and staining his clothing, turning it a sickly brown where red and blue mingled. I physically had to move his head to make him look in my direction, and I smiled when I saw the confusion only found in children's eyes harbored in his. "You want to know why we needed special guard?"   
He nodded mutely, but seemed to become more alert.   
I closed my eyes and put my hands on either side of his head, drawing a deep breath and reaching for my power. I felt it rising up in me, filling me, being channeled down my arms and into the man in front of me. "Time turn back on the body of Yujiro to this point of yesterday."   
I opened my eyes and removed my hands when I heard him gasp in astonishment. He was fingering his chin and jaw line, searching for any trace of the cut or the blood that had run out of him so quickly. His tanned skin was smooth now, with no trace of any scar and no fleck of red to be seen. There wasn't even a patch on his clothes any more. "How did you _do_ that?"   
"That's why he wanted guards on us, special guards. We can do things… not Suzuno, but she's also really special. Yujiro-san, listen to me." His eyes met mine at my tone, gentle and firm at the same time. "Get out of here. Run away from the army and go back home if you can, or find some place to hide until you can get through. There's another army coming headed by a Kutou lord to help Taheiji, you've got to avoid them if you can. I don't want to have to fight you later."   
He nodded and rose to his feet, me copying his action. "I understand. If I can't get away there's some caves nearby I can probably stay at for awhile." He turned to look at Suzuno, who had calmed down somewhat and was now scolding Kokie like a peevish grandmother. "Will you tell her goodbye for me?"   
I nodded in return. "Get out of here. They won't notice you in the chaos."   
"You too, you'll have it harder. Goodbye, Subaru." Then, to my complete and utter astonishment, he kissed me on the cheek before dashing out of the room.   
"Subaru?" I gathered my wits quickly and turned back to Toroki, mentally wincing when I remembered yet again that he wouldn't realize what I had done. "Can we stop Suzuno's lecture for now and get out of here? I can practically feel Tokaki breathing down my neck to get you out there."   
I winced for real as I realized I would have to face Tokaki and Tatara in a few minutes. Who knew what I would do? But Toroki was right; we had to get out of there. "First there's one more place we need to go, but then we can go out."   
"Then I suggest going there quickly, I don't like it here much myself."   
Suzuno was still going at Kokie, stopping for nothing and no one. It reminded me of how much stress she'd been under since she'd gotten there; Kokie just happened to be the one stupid enough to cross her first and so it got taken out upon him. I rolled my eyes, determining that if _she_ could tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself, _I_ could tell her to shut up. I marched up to her and clapped both hands over her mouth, surprising her into silence. "This is all very informative Suzuno, but let's get out of here. Now."   
I removed my hands after a minute and was pleased to see her sheepish expression. "Eh-heh… Gomen. I think I got a little carried away."   
"A _little?_" Kokie muttered under his breath.   
  


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Thanks to Suzuno's fairly accurate sense of direction (the complete opposite of mine) we were able to find our way to the interrogation room, with Taheiji's desk and the large fireplace. Kokie made the remark, as we trotted through the gray halls with Suzuno leading Toroki, that the lack of metal in the building almost frightened him. I was fairly sure the only things that were metal were the Kutou weapons.   
Taheiji was no fool, even if he was a lying, cheating, dirty rotten bastard who deserved to rot in hell for all eternity. While finding him there and maybe killing him on the spot had been a lovely fantasy, I knew I could hardly expect it to happen. The room was deserted. In fact, most of the halls were deserted; we'd only come across two soldiers, one regular one and one Personal Guard. Toroki had given us fair warning of them both, and had shot the normal soldier in the leg. The guard had one of those long swords drawn and was going to jump out at us from an alcove in an ambush, but Kokie had neatly caused the metal of the blade to wrap around his arm, molding itself to his muscle and bone in a perfect spiral that he had no way of getting off. The deserted feeling was even creepier in the interrogation room, because Suzuno and I had both been used to having several other people there as well. We quickly checked the desk, which had been cleared of everything except the ink and brush and a map. A brief glance at it, even to one as novice in battle tactics as I, showed that it had nothing to do with military maneuvers or anything connected with the army at all. It was simply a very finely drawn map of the Kutou and Sairou borders. We took it with us, as it was definitely better than ours at showing the surrounding area.   
Once we completed a quick search of the room for anything useful, we let Toroki's sense of where the other seishi were guide us out of the stone maze, following his directions as he headed toward the comforting feeling of Tatara and Tokaki. Regretfully, his sense didn't allow for walls or halls or doors, and we got lost more than once trying to find the way out. But each time we managed to find a way around our obstruction and get nearer to freedom. And eventually, finally, we found the door and pushed our way out.   
It was _wonderful_, being free again. It was so wonderful to be able to tilt your head back and just stare at the stars in the dark sky overhead, the moon casting its light and giving everything a hard-edged shadow. It couldn't have been much later than ten or so, but to my light-deprived eyes the scene was as bright as midday.   
And the noise was ringing in my ears. We'd come out away from the commotion, a place where no soldier was in sight, but something was obviously happening nearby. It wasn't so much the sound of weapons as it was much yelling, even some screaming. Trying to work out the scenario behind the noise was like putting together a puzzle with over half its pieces missing. If I was right, it was only Tokaki and Tatara who were fighting… so what were they _doing_ to the soldiers?   
Well, that question got answered quickly.   
POP.   
"Subaru!"   
"Suzuno!"   
We were charged by two dirt-smeared, well-meaning guys. However, in a flash Tatara and Tokaki were replaced to my eyes by Taheiji and the guard. I couldn't help it; I shrieked and jumped behind Suzuno, folding into a bundle and cowering behind her.   
"Subaru?!" A gentle hand reached out and slowly closed itself around my lower arm, but in my delusional mind it was immediately associated with my torturous captors. I shrieked again and jumped back, pulling myself out of its grasp. Tatara could only stare at me, confused, one hand still raised in the air, as I watched him with wide, frightened eyes. "Subaru? What's wrong? Are you sick? Why are you wearing that?"   
I was mortified.   
Tokaki growled something under his breath, watching off to the side, where the shouting of the soldiers was getting louder with each moment. "Great, all that noise drew them here… We're really gonna have to fight this time. Shit shit shit shit _shit_." He glanced around hurriedly, trying to assess our position. "We better stay here, we've got some room to maneuver."   
He was right about that, at least. In front of the door was a large, cleared space, at least fifty feet wide from the surrounding wall to the building and extending to either side as far as I could see, which wasn't far. The wall curved towards us and the door was set in a slight recess, which the six of us were still grouped in. Tokaki quickly took over battle plans, somehow rapidly spotting hiding places from which we could jump out and surprise the enemy, giving us the advantage. Seishi we might be, but they had the power of sheer numbers on their side. He had us spread out and melt into the shadows of the stones, keeping watch for the soldiers.   
I was basically left out. I had no way to attack or fight, and so while Tokaki concentrated on finding a place for Toroki I silently took Suzuno's hand and led her to sit right next to the door, placing myself in front of her, still perversely determined to protect her to the end. And even dying had to be better than what Taheiji had done.   
We waited, listening to the noise growing louder. I couldn't see the other seishi, even though bare seconds had passed since they went into hiding. I sent a brief prayer to Byakko to ask him to protect everyone and get us through this. Then they rounded the corner in a great mass, spilling into our little area like an unstoppable wave crashing on the beach. I recognized a few faces, but I hadn't realized just how many people Taheiji had brought with him to this secluded place until then.   
There had to be at least forty men. That number might not sound like much, but with only four fighters we were in for a hard time. Most of them wore the not-fine clothes of the regular soldiers, although about ten of them were indeed wearing the richer cloth of the Personal Guard. One of those men was the talkative guard, and my face twisted in sheer anger, hate, and rage when I saw him. He would get it, oh, he would get it… At the moment, though, he looked something like a monkey, staring around in wide-eyed surprise. Most likely he was wondering where we all were. His gaze swept the area once, twice, obviously not seeing anything. But on the third pass…   
That cruelly lecherous look returned to his face as his eyes turned in my direction, and even as far away as I was I could see him lick his lips hungrily, his fingers clench in anticipation. I mentally cursed my hair color, standing out so well against the drab surroundings, and scooted back, hoping to block Suzuno from view. With my hands unbound I could defend myself better, maybe even incapacitate him long enough for her to run… Without a word to his companions he started towards us, looking exactly the same as he had the day before in that hellish room, and I was getting extremely, extremely frightened again…   
An animal-like growl of sheer rage split the air and Tokaki suddenly appeared in front of him, a well-aimed blow with the heel of his hand sending the guard's head shooting up and back with an audible _snap_. Tokaki vanished again as the guard fell, shock on his unmoving face, and lay in a heap on top of his spear. I could tell just by looking at him that he would never move again.   
With the guard's crumpling the swarm behind him exploded with fear and shouting, weapons appearing in every hand and men trying to defend on every side. The mass broke up as men ran in different directions, trying to flee or find the "ghost" who'd killed the guard. But they didn't get far at all. Vines shot out of one crevice to form a tripwire, sending three men sprawling on their faces, their swords falling out of their hands and clattering to a stop more than three feet from their hands. An arrow shot out of another to catch a surprised guard in the chest, knocking him flat on his back to lie there, still. One soldier yelped in surprise and dropped his sword when it began twisting over backwards like it was aiming to stab him in the arm.   
However, we didn't have the advantage for long. As each of the seishi put their powers to use the officers realized where another was hiding, and sent plenty of men to take care of each one. Tatara's tripwire couldn't stop them all, and many dodged the vines that shot out of the ground. They pulled him out forcibly by his clothing, making him have to start fighting hand-to-hand to free himself. He managed to pull loose but he was trapped against the wall, and he could only concentrate on defending himself against the nine men in front of him, trying to take them down with his whip. He couldn't spare any attention to grow his sneaky trapping vines behind them, or he would've been run through.   
Toroki was having it a bit easier, but not much. He only had so many arrows. He could keep his batch back with arrows and they never failed to hit, but mostly they hit only arms or legs now as the soldiers knew what to expect and would dodge. After he ran out they would overwhelm him.   
Fortunately Kokie was close by, and he was trying to work his way over to where Toroki was hidden. He was perhaps having the easiest time of all. Unfortunately they were no fools; they had quickly figured out that he was the one who was warping their metal. I could see them discarding their metal weapons, chasing after him with their bare hands. He determinedly held them off by manipulating any small metal implements, such as buckles, they were wearing or had on them, but it was a case of too little, almost too late. He kept forcing his way in Toroki's direction, frequently getting hung up as one or another of the men lunged at him, but apparently his time in the forge had also made him incredibly strong. Even I could tell he had no style to speak of, but two years of heavy lifting and backbreaking work had given him a brute strength that no sane fourteen-year-old should have and that rivaled that of the trained soldiers. He was slowly getting closer to his goal.   
Tokaki, however… He was the farthest from us. He had reappeared in the midst of a crowd of soldiers right after the chaos started, clearly intending to cause some quick damage and vanish again a moment later, but one of the smart ones had clubbed him over the head with the hilt of his sword. He was too stunned to be able to teleport, and had instinctively sunk into his defensive fighting crouch. A quick count showed _thirteen_ men on him. He was acting solely on reflex, whirling, spinning, kicking, punching, anything to stay alive. He, like Tatara, couldn't spare the tiniest bit of attention to using his other powers, or he'd be risking death.   
And Suzuno and I weren't ignored, either. It wasn't civilized battle. They didn't just go after those with weapons, or those that were obviously fighters, but the two of us as well. After the talkative guard had fallen they had seemed to forget about us in the sudden barrage of attacks, but not too long after they split up one of the men caught sight of us again and began running in our direction. He probably hoped to take us prisoner and use us as hostages. Well, I wasn't about to let that happen. I stood, sizing him up. He wasn't the most threatening figure on the battlefield by any means, but neither was he puny. It would be incredibly tricky and would take all my self-preservation instincts… I shifted my weight carefully, praying I remembered it correctly, and when he was close enough I spun on my forward foot and snapped the other up to slam into his face. He reeled back from the kick and I ignored the stinging sensation in my bones to follow up in my advantage, smacking him across the face with enough force to knock him over. He fell groaning to the ground and I quickly snatched up his sword, feeling better with a weapon in my hand, even if it was one I couldn't use that well.   
He, like so many of his gender, had underestimated a woman and had paid the price. He'd been incredibly stupid, charging me openly like that and letting me see an opening in his defense, and I was strangely amused. I didn't have the courage to kill him however, and chose to simply knock him out by bashing him over the head with the flat of his blade. But the ones that came after him learned from his mistake and were much more careful. I didn't know how much time passed as I stood on guard, waiting for the next one to come after us, for the next one to fall around Toroki, Kokie, Tatara, and Tokaki, for reinforcements to come. We were charged by no less than six others, and each time was a desperate struggle. The sword made me feel better but it didn't help much, and plenty of them knew some of a martial art. We fought for a long time, so long, and everything else seemed to vanish as my senses narrowed to my opponent, excluding even Suzuno crouched behind me. I fought without realizing what I did, nor caring as long as I could keep her safe. And, wonder of wonders, I was winning. I was beating them. I didn't even realize that I was killing them, too, the sword in my hands turning red with their blood. As the third one fell, gasping and clutching his side, his fingers coloring with the warm liquid, I felt the power flooding through me, warming me, and my symbol glowing underneath the blanket. I had time to wonder, bitterly, that if Byakko could protect me _now_, why couldn't he have done it yesterday? Then another man broke from the main fighting and ran at us, and I again was swept up in the fighter's oblivion.   
Then there was a long stretch where we were left alone and I could check on everyone else. We were doing slightly better: Tatara had taken down two of his men, Tokaki about four or so, and Toroki and Kokie had finally gotten back to back and were supporting each other. Kokie could call back Toroki's arrows, and he did, giving his friend a seemingly unlimited supply. But it was still fairly desperate.   
Then our worst fear was upon us: reinforcements. Twenty more men suddenly appeared from the opposite direction the first batch had come from, and they immediately went to join their belabored companions and make us at even more of a loss. Four of them charged at us, and I hefted my sword, a dangerous light in my eyes. These guys had taken everything I held dear – my brother, friends, our miko, my innocence. They would pay dearly. I wasn't going to lie down like some dead dog at their feet. They would feel the wrath of a woman.   
And all my righteous anger was thrown away as they attacked in tandem. It reminded me of the fight in the clearing, Kokie's first, except this time they had more room to move and so they had a better advantage. However, I was too stubborn to give up and too angry to even think about it. The anger funneled itself into my entire body, possessing me, controlling me so easily that I had no idea what was going on and scarcely cared as long as they weren't allowed a single step farther.   
And then, the noise stopped.   
The sound of the fighting had been loud, nearly deafening, and even though I wasn't paying attention it was still a shock when it vanished. Suzuno's sudden, stunned gasp seemed too loud in the still air, and I slowly came back to my right mind. It reminded me of when I stopped time, but I hadn't done a thing… had I? In that battle rage, I could have done any number of things without knowing, but I was fairly sure that wasn't one of them.   
I was right. About a foot in front of me was a domed wall giving off a golden glow, casting a shine on the soldiers' astonished faces that softened them considerably. The sword fell to the grass beside me, forgotten, as I stretched out my hand to touch it hesitantly. Who knew what something like that was capable of…? But nothing happened. The tips of my fingers, then my whole hand, rested against it, and it didn't react at all. It was as firm as wood, and slightly warm, and impulsively I tried to shove my hand through it. It wouldn't budge.   
It didn't obstruct my field of vision, aside from coloring everything slightly golden, and I hurriedly looked around to see what was happening. The fighting had stopped everywhere, and three other golden bubbles littered the grass. Two were pressed up against walls, and one was in the middle of the field, sure signs of the other seishis' whereabouts. Whatever this was I was infinitely, infinitely grateful.   
As I watched, the bubble standing alone, the one that was surrounded by the most men, vanished. I gasped as the men poured into the opening, thinking of them going after Tokaki, but Suzuno's cry of surprise from behind me made me spin.   
Tokaki lay there on his back, his hands pressed to a gaping wound in his stomach, gasping for breath, his face twisted in pain. It was possibly the deadliest wound I had yet seen. I dropped to my knees beside him with a startled cry and bent over to peer in his face, mentally begging him to tell me it would be all right, he would be fine, say this wasn't happening… No, no, not him too, not Tokaki…   
He drew a shallow breath and attempted a smile in direction, but only wound up coughing. He tried again, breathing slowly, and somehow managed to draw enough air to speak. "I… I trust…" I had to lean close to hear him, his voice was so weak. "I trust you, Suba-chan. You can… can do it."   
For one brief moment, my mind was blank. All I could do was wonder what was he talking about. Then my sense slammed into me full force and I nodded hard at him, too scared to try and speak. I drew my bottom lip between my teeth, watching his wound. He couldn't have gotten it much before the golden bubbles had appeared, or he would be dead. That meant he had a chance, if I could give it to him. I drew a deep breath, closed my eyes, and put my hands on his arm. "Time turn back on the body of Tokaki to this point of yesterday."   
I counted the moments in my mind… _one, two, three_… And then there was a rush of air and a crushing pair of arms wrapped around my shoulders, hugging me tightly, and I hugged him back tightly as well, tears streaming from my eyes in relief that he was all right, he was alive, he was fine! "Shhhh…" he whispered, petting my hair. "I knew you could do it, I believed in you."   
_You might have believed in her, but you better get her OUT of here, now._   
My head snapped up, looking crazily in all directions. There had been a voice! A voice! In thin air! My god, it was too much for one day.   
It was clear I wasn't crazy because both Tokaki and Suzuno were staring upward too. "Where to?" Tokaki cautiously asked, deciding to treat it as more than a mass hallucination. "Where should we go?"   
_There's a system of caves near here that they don't know about. Go there, it has running water._ The voice had nothing special about it, and I couldn't decide if I was hearing it or if it was coming directly into my head, although I greatly suspected the latter. I couldn't even tell if it was male or female. _Can you see it?_   
Tokaki's eyes became unfocused as he concentrated on something inside, and a minute later he replied. "Yes… what about the horses?"   
_Don't worry about them, just go there._   
Tokaki nodded and stood, pulling me with him, and reached out a hand to Suzuno. She hesitantly took it and pulled herself up, still glancing around. He looked down at me. "You holding on?" I nodded, and took one last look outside the bubble. The men I'd been fighting were now banging on it with their weapons, trying to bring it down, but there was no noise inside but that cause by our breathing, movements, and speech. "Here we go."   
Everything faded quickly to white, then was replaced by green and gray once again, but in a different pattern. There was no one else there. Tokaki took a moment to make sure of that, then went back for the others.   
A minute later we were having a proper reunion, with everyone hugging Suzuno and me tightly. Tatara was the last to hug Suzuno and he refused to let her go after that, the quiet determination on his face telling us it was useless to try and take her. Tokaki seemed to take to me the same way, rattling on about how stupid I'd been. "…damnit you little idiot, you could have gotten yourself killed woman, don't you _ever_ do that to me again, I nearly had a heart attack thanks to you-"   
"Tokaki, let me go." I couldn't take it. He was being too nice. I was nothing now, I needed to be forgotten by everyone. I didn't deserve anyone's courtesy. I pushed myself away from him and just walked in the other direction, not caring where I ended up.   
I could feel him staring after me in confusion, trying to figure out why I was behaving like that, but I didn't look at him. The only one I looked at was Suzuno, and she nodded at me in understanding. I kept walking, willing myself to ignore all of them, but I couldn't block them out entirely.   
"What's wrong with her?" Kokie.   
"Yeah, what happened?" Toroki.   
"She's different…" Tatara.   
"Subaru…" Tokaki.   
Suzuno sighed. "Guys…" I clapped my hands over my ears and ran in the direction of the cave, barely avoiding running into the rocks as I squeezed my eyes shut. I think Tokaki yelled after me, but I wasn't sure; I was so determined not to hear any of them.   
I finally started paying attention again when I tripped over something and fell, rolling a couple of feet on the rough floor. I sat up, rubbing my arm where I'd banged it. The caves were obviously natural, although the stone was the same type the entire prison had been made of. That wasn't really a surprise, local building materials are cheaper, and this stuff was free. Still, the familiar-looking rocks made me shudder in remembrance. At least nothing was smooth and orderly.   
My ears caught something very quiet, very far away: _water_. I headed in that direction, thirsty and longing to wash, try to make myself pure again. It was deep in the back, so faint I could barely hear it, but I was sure it was there.   
The cave turned out to be a system of caves, several of them that echoed and multiplied sound, each dome-like in appearance. There were six of them in all, joined together by tunnels about half as tall as the caves themselves, which meant about six feet tall. It was pretty dark as well, but I just kept going, calling on my symbol to provide a light. It made a pretty good candle.   
The water was in the farthest one, and it was all I could wish for: a small waterfall down the rocks with a pool at the bottom. The pool was about six feet across and three feet deep and fairly circular, meaning the water had been there for ages. I cupped my hands under the falls and caught some of the water, then brought my impromptu cup to my lips and drank quickly, repeating the process four or five times. The water was freezing, but fresh, slightly flavored with the minerals from the rocks.   
When I'd put my thirst to rest I quickly pulled off my clothing, the idea of finally getting a bath nearly driving me crazy, and waded in without hesitation. The frigid temperature shocked my bare skin into numbness that I hardly felt while the tiny, sand-like pebbles shifted underneath my feet. I sank to my knees and then lay back in the water, letting it soak into my hair, my skin, and my muscles.   
When I was thoroughly wet I scooped up a handful of the miniature pebbles, so small they seemed like nothing more than sand, and began scrubbing myself all over, my symbol still glowing dully and lighting the water. The entire thing had an air of absurd solemnity; it was so quiet, and I moved so slowly, like a person in a dream, that I wasn't quite sure what I was doing. But I knew I was trying to get clean, make myself the person I had been, and that was all I could focus on.   
It was a long time later that I dropped the pebbles back in the water and rose, squeezing out my hair. I still didn't feel right, but it was better than nothing. And even though I didn't want to leave the water at all, I knew I had to face the others sometime. I started to look around for my clothes.   
There was a noise behind me and I spun, going into defensive mode again. Suzuno stood there, holding out something in her hand, not looking at all shocked that I was naked and dripping wet. "Here, put this on."   
I hesitantly reached forward and took the thing out of her hands, unfolding it slowly. It was Tokaki's shirt. Green and white fabric, stitched together expertly, of fine quality… I bizarrely wondered if Heika-sama was providing wardrobes for all the newly discovered seishi that would accept them. She reached forward and placed the gold sash in my hands as well. "How long have you been here?"   
"Awhile." Her voice was quiet, appropriate to the setting.   
It was so hard to get the next question out. "Do they… know?"   
She nodded, and my head fell forward into the cloth in my hands, crying softly. Even though I'd been convincing myself that I was beneath everyone's notice, and although I'd known the way I was acting would tip them off, somewhere deep inside me I'd been entertaining the notion that they wouldn't know and things could go on as normal, with them not treating me any differently… I'd been such an idiot.   
"Subaru…" Suzuno reached forward and hugged me, again not caring about the water or the nudity, and I could only be grateful. "They don't hate you. It's all right. They want to see you. They want to help you. See, Tokaki even gave you his shirt."   
It was true. And it looked comfortable, and extremely far from my normal clothing, which was all the better. "Yeah…" I pulled away and regarded the shirt for a minute before wrapping it around me, looping the sash around my waist and tying it in a quick knot. Tokaki was so much taller than me that his shirt hung to my knees, which was even better. It was comfortable, too, and felt good against my skin. It even smelled faintly like him, sort of like spices… I found my pants and pulled them on as well. It made me feel better and worse at the same time to be wearing them again, but I knew I'd feel much worse with the guys if I didn't have them on than if I did.   
Suzuno picked up the blanket-shirt and led me out of that cave, and through the other five. The guys were all sitting on the grass , carefully not looking at the mouth of the cave, but as one they turned when we approached, hearing the gravel crunch beneath our feet.   
Tatara stood and hesitantly walked over, clearly not knowing what to say or how to behave. "Are… Do you… Do you feel better?"   
I nodded wordlessly and launched myself at him, hanging onto him with all my strength as he slowly hugged me again. Somehow I felt safe with him, cared for, and worth something once. It was like he really was my brother, the older brother who would protect me from everything and never let me out of his sight.   
I was so close to all these people, and I hadn't known it, but they really were like family to me. All of them were brothers who would help me in their own ways. I knew, deep inside me, that I could trust them with just about anything, but I wasn't ready yet. They were so dear to me, but they were still men. It would take a long time.   
Tatara obligingly let me go when I began to pull back, and I looked around. "What do we do now?"   
"We wait here." Tokaki also stood up, clearly without a shirt, and I blushed faintly when my mind reminded me that I was wearing it. "Another one of those bubbles came, and that voice said to stay here for about an hour. It's been more than half an hour since then."   
I nodded and sat down on the grass to wait as well, next to Toroki. He put out a hand, searching for me, which I reached out and took. He squeezed my fingers, then moved it to my shoulder, giving me support in his own way. Tatara, Suzuno, and Tokaki also took their seats on the grass.   
The air was too heavy and sad for normal conversation, and no one felt like touching on the topic that had made it that way. We sat there in silence and I took a small pleasure in the wind that passed through, starting to dry my hair and occasionally lifting a single strand to dance on it. It was so peaceful there, where no humans had been in a long time, maybe not ever.   
Awhile later, Toroki suddenly clenched my shoulder a little harder and stood up, using me as a support. I stood too, watching him uselessly with a puzzled expression, as the others also got up. "Someone's coming…"   
"Who?" Tatara asked.   
"I can't be sure, not until I meet them… but I think-"   
He was cut off by the sharp jangle of tack. From around the outcroppings came a train of all our horses, plus one I didn't recognize, our belongings situated on their backs. As far as I could tell they were walking without leads, like children in a single-file line. It was almost spooky; horses never did that naturally.   
Sora was at the head of the line, and next to her was a small figure, smaller than Suzuno. It looked like a woman, with long dark hair and what seemed to be skirts, but a lot of clothing could be meant for either sex, and men could have long hair as easily as women, Tatara being a prime example. But as they got closer it was easy to see that it really was a woman – and a very small one at that. I was at least four inches taller than her. But she looked older than me.   
She smiled as she got closer, a pretty smile. "Here are your horses. They are all very well-behaved animals."   
"Thank you… Who are you?" Kokie slowly inquired.   
"Oh yes, where _are_ my manners?" she murmured to herself. Her voice held a trace of a strange accent. She bowed politely. "How do you do? My name is Masuzoe Eri. I am also known as Karasuki."   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES TWO: Hehehehehehehehehe... I am evil ~evil grin~ 


	17. Chapter 16: Revelations and Radical Chan...

  
DISCLAIMER: C'est pas le mien.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: The Weeks from Hell are OVER! ~falls over in joy~ I love theatre, honest to god I do, but these past couple of weeks have nearly killed me. Never, ever try to build a set in a week and a half, especially if it's a really _elaborate_ set. It'll kill you; I haven't gotten much sleep at all.   
And now that the play's over I'm stepping up my posting schedule. Yep, that's right folks, I will be posting more frequently for as long as I can. AsI'm gonna be gone for a good chunk of the summer and have no idea how I'm gonna do posting and updates and all, I've decided to increase my rate while I can - for about the next five/six weeks or so. So every Monday I'll try to update Market, and Rebirth on Thursday, and sometimes something else. I started another story, but it's not going too well. Wish me luck! ^_^   
Oh, yeah! Something semi-important happens in this chapter and basically all my pre-readers were confused by it, so here's an explanation. You've probably seen a picture of Subaru, and one thing that sticks out to most people is how low her necklines are (go to http://www.geocities.com/lai_nyan/market.html to see what I mean, and that's not even the lowest I've seen). Now, in sane keeping with my story, so far her clothing has been at a normal, "respectable" height. Honestly, I don't think the emperor's gonna approve of the palace seamstress handing out clothing that would most likely spark controversy, especially in a society where women were generally considered inferior. So she's got a nice, normal neckline. (I personally think the lower neckline's cool, it shows her independence, but I'm trying to keep this semi-realistic.) Thankees! ^_^   
~trots off singing along to "2 of a Kind!" which is just a fun song~   
  


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You could never picture a more bizarre person for a seishi – well, maybe a child, but Masuzoe Eri sure came close. She was short, to start with, almost as short as Masame, although she was clearly at least twice my little sister's age. Her silvery hair was done up in a sort of twisted ponytail: she'd pulled it up on top of her head, wrapped some chunks around the base of the ponytail to make it stand up somewhat, and then let it fall down her back. Her clothing was very strange, like nothing I'd ever seen before, and I'd seen more than my share of styles. She wore a simple red skirt with no embellishments that hung down to the tops of her men's-style boots, kept up with a strip of cloth tied haphazardly around her waist as a belt. I didn't know whether to call her white top a shirt or a blouse but it was even stranger, with wide sleeves cut off at the elbow and left to flutter in the breeze, and the bottom cut off in a similar way to expose a good expanse of stomach. She reminded me a little of Tokaki because her skin was fairly dark, but while Tokaki looked as if he'd spent way too much time in the sun she seemed to spend time in the shadows, giving her a dusky hue. Her eyes were large and bright green. She seemed childlike and intelligent and discreet all at the same time.   
All in all unusual and not what any of us had expected.   
"You're Karasuki?" Toroki asked. He didn't sound skeptical, but neither did he sound completely convinced.   
She nodded in his direction, and I realized that we had to explain Toroki's impairment to yet another person. Kokie had taken it quite interestingly, but not exactly in a way that made Toroki like him more, and I doubted we wanted that repeated. "I am. And who is everyone here?" Once again I heard the hint of an accent. She also had an odd way of phrasing words that made it seem like she didn't come from one of the cultural groups I was familiar with.   
We started the introductions, beginning with Tatara and Suzuno and progressing to Tokaki, Toroki, me, and finally Kokie. She nodded politely at each of us and when we were finished she approached Suzuno. "I do so hate to be formal, but I think the situation might be better for it." Before Suzuno could ask her what she was talking about, Karasuki had dropped to one knee before her and bowed her head, causing her hair to cascade over her shoulder in shining waves. "I, Karasuki of the Byakko no shichiseishi, pledge my service to you, the Byakko no Miko, for as long as is needed until Byakko is called and the country saved."   
"Please get up," Suzuno begged. "Really, please, I don't like people bowing to me." She was distinctly uncomfortable, fidgeting visibly in the moonlight. Karasuki looked up, plainly confused. Suzuno bent down to offer her a hand up, which she slowly took and pulled herself to her feet. Suzuno smiled at her. "You don't have to do that, really. Formality always makes me nervous, I'm just a regular person."   
"As you wish, Miko-sama-"   
"Suzuno," she cut in firmly. "I won't respond to anything stiff."   
"Suzuno, then." Her lips spread in a slight smile, as if she were becoming more relaxed. "If you so insist."   
She smiled back. "Trust me, I do. I just have one thing to ask you, though… Just to make sure."   
The rest of us knew what was coming, and we all unconsciously peered a little closer.   
"Can you show us your symbol?"   
Karasuki blinked once in surprise, then smiled slowly and turned so her back was to Suzuno. One possible reason for her odd clothing was immediately explained as from the area of her lower back, which was left uncovered by the cloth, shone the unmistakable white light. Suzuno bent over and peered at it closely, squinting her eyes against the intensity, and nodded. "'Investigator'. Arigato."   
"It was nothing."   
"And now it comes," Toroki murmured softly so that only I could hear.   
"What?" I whispered back.   
"The Talk. With capital letters."   
Of course. One trait we all seemed to share was curiosity about the seishi parts of our companions, and we were determined to find out everything about them we could. We had with Toroki and with Kokie, so why would Karasuki be any different?   
But surprisingly, Tatara insisted that before anything else could be discussed that we should go catch the horses (who had wandered away again), find firewood, and generally get settled. Karasuki's assurances about the security of this place convinced us that it was safe enough to sleep there for the night, and so we followed Tatara's decree. We three women and Toroki went after the horses while the others hunted for wood, and soon after we had a relatively safe and fairly snug little camp set up inside the first of the caves, with a fire blazing cheerfully in the middle of our little circle. Tatara was still sticking close to Suzuno, but Kokie had taken Toroki's place next to me. It reminded me bizarrely of when we'd found Toroki, and no wonder: the circumstances were fairly similar, and so were the aftereffects.   
Apparently I wasn't the only one to think so. Tokaki glanced around once we were all settled and muttered "Haven't we been through this before?"   
Suzuno chose to ignore him and began the question and answer session. "First off, was it you who saved us back there?"   
She nodded. "You seemed as if you could use a bit of help – especially you." She nodded in Tokaki's direction. "You may be a good fighter, but that was hardly a fair fight. And all the seishi must be present to summon Byakko."   
"Thanks, I did," he mumbled, as if it hurt his pride to admit that even in a vastly pitched battle like we'd just come out of he couldn't win easily. Men.   
"So you made those… bubble-things?" Kokie piped up.   
Once again Karasuki nodded in agreement. "It is my power, you see. Those 'bubble-things', as you call them, are force fields. Although I am a slight bit drained; producing more than one at a time requires a large amount of concentration."   
"How do you do it?" I asked, speaking for the first time.   
Instead of responding out loud, as I expected, she began to search around her. "Now where did I put it…" Finding nothing on the ground, she put her hands in what were apparently twin pockets on either side of her skirt and rummaged around in them. "Where where where… Ah." She extracted her left hand from her clothing. Dangling from her fingers was a simple piece of string.   
We all looked at her (except for Toroki), completely confused.   
She smiled in a placating manner. "Watch."  
  
With nimble fingers she made a loop in the string, murmuring quietly under her breath, and tied a series of knots where it crisscrossed, four in all and none very tight. On the last one she closed her eyes and yanked hard on the string. Immediately the golden dome sprang up around us, giving off its soft, warm light and stopping all noise from the outside.   
Karasuki opened her eyes and smiled again at the five dumbstruck looks that greeted her. "That is how."   
"What did she do?" Toroki asked quietly of Suzuno, who was next to him.   
However it wasn't quiet enough for Karasuki not to notice, and she immediately turned in his direction, studying him. For a long moment no one spoke as she looked him over and he steadily faced in her direction, almost daring her to say something. When she did it wasn't derogatory. "Are you sightless?"   
"Yes." His voice was short. It had never occurred to me that he might be bothered by his blindness; it certainly hadn't seemed that way when we'd first met and all since then. But maybe Kokie's reaction, which had consisted of constant questions about if it was really true and much unconscious staring, had put him on his guard.   
"That must be hard," she commented idly, no more emotion in her voice than if she was commenting on the weather.   
I silently sighed in relief when I saw him begin to relax. "It has its inconveniences."   
"I shall explain what I did in a little while, is that all right? I am sure there are other questions, and I know I have some things to ask of you all myself."   
Suzuno smiled when Toroki nodded agreement. "As a matter of fact, I do have more questions. First off, thank you for saving us, I don't know what we would have done back there." Karasuki tried to wave it off as nothing, but Suzuno persisted. "It's true, you saved at least Tokaki's life. But how were you there? That was one incredible stroke of luck. Not that I'm arguing, but still."   
"Ah, now that is somewhat complicated. The explanation may take a little time." Her face sunk into a pondering expression, as if trying to make a minorly important decision. "I suppose it would be good for you to hear the preceding circumstances as well. I am not from Sairou."   
_Ah-ha,_ my inner voice commented. _Knew it._   
"Originally I come from Hokkan, from one of its tribes. However, my family moved to this country when I was eleven. We didn't stay in one place, though, but traveled around from town to town in the north. We were used to the nomadic life, I suppose." She smiled into the fire. "I became extremely familiar with the area around the border and in the hills and mountains. Right now, in fact, we are almost sitting on the border between Sairou and Kutou. That building was an old Sairounian border fort that was abandoned long ago. My family and I were in the town of Reisen-"   
"The place from the map," Toroki broke in unexpectedly, starting.   
Karasuki turned in his direction. "What?"   
"Never mind, please go on." He forced himself to relax again.   
She shrugged and continued. "We were in Reisen when we heard the news of the Kutou moving northward along the border from one of our more dubious contacts. I knew my duty as a Byakko no shichiseishi and decided it would be good to go there and watch over the soldiers, so I would know if they were to try anything funny. However, when I arrived there, I saw a small band of them riding into Sairou. They appeared to be of higher rank than the rest, and their leader above them as well, and I chose to follow them. They rode to the fort and established a camp there with several other soldiers I had not seen ride in, but arrived there after I did. And so I found a spot, guarded it, and camped there so I could be a spy. Nothing unusual happened until tonight, when you four-" she nodded at the guys "-appeared and the fighting started. I was on the old wall that surrounded the building when I saw how desperate your situation was and made the force fields. After you left I took them down, climbed down the wall, found your horses, and brought them here."   
"Did you…" Tatara began, not sure how to phrase his question. "Did you not know the miko was here before that?"   
Karasuki blinked at him, obviously a bit startled. "I did not. Should I have?"   
"Probably… It's been long enough since Suzuno arrived for most of the country to have heard by now…" He was speaking lowly, almost to himself, and he glanced at the entrance to the cave where a few stars were visible between the rocks.   
Suzuno cleared her throat, looking sheepish. "Umm… no they wouldn't."   
"What? Suzuno-san, the entire city knew about you," Kokie said, a bit incredulously.   
"Well, the emperor… it's kind of complicated. He said he wanted to try and protect me, and so he managed to confine the news to the capital." I could see her blush in the faint golden light cast by Karasuki's dome that was still hovering above us. "I guess it didn't really work."   
Tatara was plainly surprised at the idea that the emperor wanted to stop the rumors. "Well… well… what about Toroki then?" he almost demanded, seeing a hole in the logic. "He definitely lived outside the capital."   
"Remember what I can do, Tatara-sama," Toroki replied in an amused way, using the honorific for the irony. "I had a dream where I saw Suzuno. I was trying to decide whether to go to the capital or wait when I had the other one about you all being attacked."   
Tatara just mumbled something and wisely decided to keep quiet.   
Karasuki smiled at the embarrassed man, hiding a small laugh. "Now, if it is not too forward, may I ask what exactly had brought you all there in the first place?"   
One by one all the others' eyes, including Toroki's, turned to look at Suzuno and me. Karasuki nodded slowly, assimilating this new information. "I see. How did this happen?"   
As strange as it was, I felt Toroki's eyes on me again. I could tell he expected me to relate what had happened, as I was the one who had "seen" most of these things, in person or with my seishi powers. I shook my head slightly in his direction, praying the others didn't see it. I couldn't get through it all, I just couldn't, I knew. I was talking now, keeping busy, all of it just to take my mind off the past few days. I just couldn't do it yet. I couldn't allow myself to break down like that again.   
"A man we thought was a servant kidnapped me," Suzuno spoke up suddenly, breaking the decidedly uncomfortable silence. "He knocked me out, and then when I woke up I was in a cell. They kept putting me under again for some reason, using drugs I guess, and they interrogated me a lot. And then one evening I was taken out of my cell, left in a room, knocked out, and then at dawn put back in my cell. And Subaru was there." She fidgeted a bit, making herself more comfortable on the rocks. "I know it was stupid to keep accepting the drugged stuff, but all it did was put me to sleep. I'd rather sleep then die from dehydration or something."   
Karasuki turned her unconsciously piercing eyes on me next. "How did you arrive there? Were you taken as well?"   
I squeezed my eyes shut and lowered my head slightly. I couldn't… I couldn't… I couldn't, I couldn't… I couldn't, I couldn't, why was she asking me this, I couldn't answer so why was she asking and why did she want to know and why was I seeing that room and that man and that guard and I knew the guard was dead but why did it look like he was coming at me why why why why why-   
Everyone jumped a foot in the air and scrambled away from me, Karasuki included. It was only then that I realized I was rocking back and forth, my hands clasped over my mouth, my vocal chords feeling raw… the tail end of a very loud scream echoing in the caves around me.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The others decided on a round of double watches, with two people standing guard instead of just one as I huddled in a corner, throwing pebbles at anyone who tried to approach me. Except Suzuno. She was still the only one I felt I could really trust. She'd been there since the beginning and hadn't once made me feel uncomfortable… at least not since I'd began clinging to her. I was weak, I was weak, I was just a wretched weak whore… I deserved this, I didn't deserve sympathy.   
Later, much later, when I could think about that night without much pain, I'd realized how everyone had wanted to help me, be there for me, hold me while I cried to make it all better, even Karasuki. But at the time… Byakko, I was a mess.   
Karasuki took down her bubble with a comment about how it was draining to leave it up without concentration. I was actually interested in how she did it, so I paid attention when she demonstrated. She took out of her pocket a small knife and cut off the loop and all its knots, then cut the loop itself so it was nothing more than a knotty piece of string. The instant the threads of the loop parted the dome disappeared, robbing us of half our light. By that time it was very late, and they all agreed to be ready to go about an hour after dawn the next day in order to get away as fast as we could.   
I don't know if I slept. If I did it was one of those fitful sleeps where you're never sure if you're asleep or awake. I had several dreams and woke up several times, first when Toroki and Tokaki were on guard, then twice when Tatara and Suzuno were, and maybe four times during Karasuki's and Kokie's watch. Each time I would stare at the fire they never let go out, reminding myself over and over that since there _was_ a fire there I wasn't in the prison any more, I was safe and warm and with people who cared for me and we were getting _away_ from that place.   
It was no surprise to anyone the next morning when Suzuno said she'd ride double with me, as we didn't have a horse for her. She wasn't quite comfortable controlling the horse, but by then I'd calmed down sufficiently to manage Sora myself. I admitted to myself that having her holding me so tight for fear of falling off was comforting, as if I were someone she could depend on, even though I wasn't. I was still wearing Tokaki's shirt, my own clothing bringing back too many memories, although I had changed my pants. He didn't say a word, although I caught him sneaking glances at me frequently.   
We stayed in the back, holding our quiet, soothing conversation about nothing at all, still worn out from the fight. I didn't know when I would go off again, what would bring it up, and I didn't want to hurt anyone else. Suzuno would try to help me; she could probably help me better than my own mother at that point.   
About an hour after we set off, Toroki suddenly pulled to a halt, staring – if you could call it that – off to his left. Checking briefly, I noticed the hem of his shirt had lifted just enough to allow a bit of white light to escape. As they realized, everyone slowly pulled to a stop, and Karasuki and Tatara came back from the front, where they'd been guiding us. "What is it?" Tatara called.   
"I'm not sure…"   
"That's the second time in twelve hours you're not sure. Losing the touch, aren't you Toroki?" That, surprisingly, was Kokie. I glanced at him and my eyebrows raised a fraction when I saw a smart-aleck grin on his face, somewhat reminiscent of Tokaki. I couldn't help the corners of my mouth turning upwards at his attitude.   
"Be careful I don't shoot you," he idly replied.   
"You'd never hit me."   
"Or, better, be careful you don't get a knife to the throat."   
Kokie blinked. "Huh? You can't do that."   
Toroki grinned, the same self-confident grin that I'd been missing for more than two days. "Iya, but I know someone who might want to do just that." Abruptly he kicked his horse into a gallop, turning to his left and clattering over the rocks, leaving the rest of us to stare at each other in confusion.   
"Well, let's follow the boy," Tokaki spoke for the first time that morning. "Come on." He, too, wheeled his horse in that direction and took off, and the rest of us followed one by one, Suzuno clutching me even harder and burying her face in my back.   
About ten minutes later we saw Toroki halt by a rocky outcropping a ways ahead of us and climb off his horse, holding up his hands to show they were empty. I had no earthy idea what he was doing. The boy was strange, we all knew that, but this was going far beyond anything we'd seen so far. Had he started talking to rocks or something?   
I groaned when we got closer; he really _was_ talking to the rocks, as if they could understand him. "Baka boy's gone over the cliff at last…" Tatara looked at me in surprise, then slowly smiled.   
We jumped off our horses and ran to him, wondering how to keep him at least semi-sane until we were back at the palace. He turned to us with a completely relaxed, even somewhat proud smile on his face. "This time I knew, Oh Ye of Little Brains." He bowed elaborately in Kokie's direction, and the younger boy's face began to turn red and he backed up for a tackle.   
"Name calling? Aren't you guys supposed to work together or something?"   
"My god… It can't be!" Suzuno cried, spinning in the direction of the rocks.   
I was thinking the same thing. There was no way… But when I turned, there was Bu Yujiro, crouched in the opening of a recess too shallow to be called a cave, a small fire burning in front of him. He threw a cocky grin at Suzuno. "I'm not dead, if that's what you're thinking. I happened to take some excellent advice and made it out in one piece." He nodded in my direction. "Thank you very much, by the way."   
Suddenly there was a person beside me and an arm tight around my shoulders, nearly yanking me off my feet. "Why should we trust anyone dressed as a Kutou soldier?" Tokaki practically hissed next to me.   
"Bet you a night of sleeping on the floor she slaps him in less than three seconds," I heard Toroki whisper to Tatara.   
"You're on."   
Well, I wasn't one to disappoint.   
SMACK. "He's a _friend_ you idiot." I considered adding that he was also married _and_ a father, but decided that might give a few too many people ideas. As Tokaki tried to pick himself off the ground I approached Yujiro, kneeling to get on his level. "Sorry, he's… hasty."   
"I saw. Boyfriend?"   
"NO!" I replied emphatically, turning completely red in the process. "Lech. Major lech. How did you get out here?"   
He stood up, brushing the rock dust off his clothing, and I rose as well. "How do you think? I grabbed a horse and ran. But when I stopped to sleep the horse ran off." He made a face. "I don't even know if I ran in the right direction."   
I blinked in surprise. Could it be that I had finally found someone with a worse sense of direction than me? "You went in the completely wrong direction. Kutou is that way." I quickly checked the sun and pointed east – the direction we'd been coming from originally.   
He groaned. "I'm never gonna get home…"   
"Yujiro-san, why don't you come with us?" Suzuno asked. She'd moved up to my side. "You can't go back that way. They'd catch you, and back home… they don't treat deserters too well, I doubt Kutou does either."   
"But my family-"   
"You'll be no good to them dead, now will you? Don't worry, I'm sure the emperor will like you. We'll have to do something about your clothes though, they stand out too much…" Suzuno eyed them with distaste. I couldn't blame her.   
Karasuki cleared her throat, drawing our attention to her. "I am sorry to interrupt, but we must be going. They might have patrols out looking for us, it would be better to leave this area immediately."   
In the end, despite Tokaki's grumbling and Kokie's hiding in shame, Yujiro decided to come with us. We gave him some of Tatara's spare clothing and waited for him to change, and then we set off west, Suzuno and I again riding double and Toroki sharing with Yujiro. We could find him a horse and some other clothes in the next town we came to, but for now the arrangement worked fine.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
It was three days before we saw a town, and it wasn't the pleasantest of rides by any means. The cloud of despair we'd acquired seemed to randomly come to haunt us, turning everyone silent and myself withdrawn. I had more attacks, more nightmares, and was only glad no one commented on the obvious sleeplessness I displayed more and more every day. While we were actually riding I was able to shut my mind off, respond automatically to turns and pace changes and even manage to make some polite conversation. But when we stopped I'd withdraw from the rest, sitting by myself or with Suzuno, or possibly Tatara or Toroki, thinking my dismal thoughts until someone yanked me away from them.   
It infected everyone else as well. We were a group, most of us were parts of a whole: whatever affected one of us affected everyone. Even Yujiro couldn't escape it, although he never seemed to be quite as bad as the rest of us. Karasuki, too, wasn't quite under the cloud. More often than not our newest seishi seemed to be lost in her own world, thinking her thoughts about Byakko-knows-what. It got to the point where she and Yujiro would double so they could talk quietly, leaving the rest of us to our despair.   
We all breathed a sigh of relief when the town appeared on the horizon on the third afternoon, knowing we could stop there for the night, perhaps two. We all needed baths and warm beds. Even I had temporarily shrugged off the memories to give the buildings a welcome smile. We were still in the hills, but we were starting to see more scrub and full-fledged trees, and the sight cheered us up somewhat.   
"That is Reisen," Karasuki said. "It is a large town for this far north, and it has several inns we can stop at. We can also find information." I wondered for a moment if she was talking about one of her "contacts", then decided I probably didn't want to know the answer to that question.   
She'd led us that far and she continued leading us when we got in the town, ignoring a few curious stares that were directed our way. We must have looked a mess: three women and five men, sharing six horses, dirty, grimy, speckled with road dust, plainly exhausted… they probably figured us for refugees of the army. It wouldn't surprise me; we were by no means out of the danger zone, although we were safer by far with other people around than we'd ever been out in the open. The people in that town must have seen refugees pouring in every day, all of them looking as bad as us and with as few possessions.   
However, refugees lacked one important thing we had: money. Heika-sama had insisted on giving us each a large amount of money to pay for lodging and the like, and more besides in case we needed it, as we left to find Suzuno. Since we'd only stayed in an inn twice on the outward journey we had plenty left for the return trip. Karasuki picked an inn she knew, and our non-seishi names and a flash of a coin bought us three rooms for the night, dinner, and baths for all. We barely had the energy after the hot baths to keep our eyes open over our food, and everyone went to sleep early: the girls in one room, Tokaki and Tatara in the second, and Yujiro, Kokie, and Toroki in the third. Luckily Kokie and Yujiro had settled their… slight differences early on, or everything would probably have been much worse.  
  
Although the night started with the sexes separated, it sure didn't end that way.   
I was able to sleep for once, and I welcomed the chance and fell into the blackness of pure exhaustion easily, suffering no dreams for the first time since it happened. Exhaustion is a tricky thing, though. I woke when Suzuno and Karasuki did in the morning, but the sticky black fingers of sleep grabbed me in the middle of a sentence and pulled me down once again. They were kind and let me sleep, understanding the need I had for it, as I hadn't really slept in four or five days. But when my eyes finally decided it was time to open for real I wasn't quite expecting the sight I was awarded with.   
The room, like most inns, had a table in the center of the floor with some chairs around it. As I dragged myself up I saw Tokaki sprawled in one of them, facing in my direction, his head tilted back over the top rung and out cold. He was even snoring slightly.   
I hurriedly pulled the blanket up to cover my body, starting to shrink back in fear, when the sensible part of me reminded me that if he tried anything I could run before he was fully awake. But he wasn't trying anything – for once – and he didn't really look like he'd wake up any time soon so he could. In fact, he perversely didn't look like he ever would – I saw a child-like aspect to his face in sleep that was rarely, if ever, revealed in the day, looking completely trusting and completely trustworthy.   
I kept thinking I should get up and get out of there before he woke up, but for some reason all I could do was sit there with my back against the headboard and watch him. He looked so different than normal… I don't know how long that continued, but I started when he suddenly yawned and began to stretch, returning to a human position and sitting upright in the chair, rubbing the back of his head. "Gods, must've fallen asleep again… Subaru?" He blinked sleepily at me, swallowing another yawn. "You up?"   
I didn't respond.   
He waited for a moment, but when it became clear I wasn't going to answer he shrugged and went on. "Look, I've just got something to say to you, that's all."   
"Why are you here?" I whispered.   
He shrugged, running his fingers through his hair to try to stop it looking like a bird's nest. "We thought you shouldn't be alone," he replied bluntly. "Look… it's about my shirt."   
His shirt. I blinked and looked down at my sleepwear. Green and white, with a gold sash… I'd almost forgotten it was his. "What about it?"   
"Are you ever gonna give it back to me?"   
I didn't do anything for a long moment, and when I did I surprised myself by slowly shaking my head. He sighed. "I expected that. Keep it, it's yours. And…" I looked up again, puzzled by the new note in his voice: shaky, tremulous, maybe nervous. "And… shit, this is hard… but you know… if you ever wanna, you know, talk or something, I'm available for it… you know… yeah. See ya downstairs." He quickly stood up and walked out the door. I could have sworn he was red.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
We chose to stay in Reisen for another day and try and do some of the chores we weren't sure we could do later. Toroki and Kokie went to find a horse for Yujiro, as both were actually very knowledgeable about animals and at least Kokie could drive a hard bargain. Karasuki disappeared after breakfast to one of her "contacts"; none of us quite had the nerve to question her further about them. Suzuno dragged Yujiro away to buy him some normal clothing, all the while saying men had no taste. Tokaki and Tatara requisitioned the map we'd taken from Taheiji's desk and began plotting the rest of our ride back on one of the dining tables in the inn. And I also set off to go clothes shopping, but for a different reason. A few of us had noticed people staring at Suzuno's clothing, clothing that was definitely foreign and made us more conspicuous. If we wanted to avoid notice we had to make her change, and she still didn't have any shoes. I also had an ulterior motive for that trip: on one of my sleepless nights I'd come up with a way to maybe help myself feel I could wear my own clothing again.   
So I made a bundle of my clothing and headed in the opposite direction from Suzuno and Yujiro, looking not only for a clothes merchant but a tailor as well, preferably someone who was both so I could get this over with at once.   
It took a try or two, but finally I was directed to a small shop on one of the main roads that had a battered banner hanging out front. It read simply "Tailor – Clothes," but the merchant I asked assured me they were better than they looked from the outside. It was a rundown, old building, the windows too dusty to see through, and the door fairly small even for a woman. Tokaki would probably bang his head on the frame if he wasn't watching carefully. I cast it one last doubtful glance before stepping inside.   
"Whaddya want?" a voice croaked as the door closed behind me. I gave my eyes a minute to get adjusted to the dim room, then spotted an old woman perched on a stool at the back and watching me closely. I must have presented quite an odd picture, as I was still wearing Tokaki's shirt. I'd only let it off my body during the bath the night before, and someone had washed it for me then, but except for that I'd had it on for four days. I still couldn't take the thought of wearing my clothing as it was.   
"A couple of things, actually." I set my bundle on a dusty table that was next to the door so I could use my hands freely. "Two sets of clothing for a girl about this tall-" I measured Suzuno's height in the air, about an inch and a half shorter than mine "and about this wide." It didn't sound very complimentary as I held my hands apart for that example, but it was the best way I could think of at the time. "And a pair of slippers for her, too."   
The old woman nodded and hopped off the stool without a word, walking to the wall to my right that I now noticed had several shelves positioned in front of it. She scanned them quickly with her eyes, then pulled two skirts off the bottom shelf, two shirts off the second, and a pair of slippers from a box on the floor next to her. Then she walked over to one of the tables throughout the room and laid the selections out for me to inspect.   
They were exactly what we needed: nice-looking without being showy, comfortable, lightweight, and I was fairly sure they'd fit her well. The slippers were definitely serviceable, and the colors were bright but not gaudy. "Perfect."   
"Anything else?"   
"Actually… yes." I retrieved my own clothing and opened the blanket I'd wrapped it all in, setting the things out on the table and explaining very clearly what I wanted to be done. The woman's eyes widened a few times and she looked at me skeptically more than once, but when she saw I was determined to go through with it she reached for a knotted cord.   
"Very well, let's get you measured."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
I had to remind myself constantly on the walk back to the inn not to turn bright red every time someone gawked at me, or clutch the bundle containing my clothes, Suzuno's new clothes, and the two other shirts with sashes (like Tokaki's) that I'd purchased to my chest, or run screaming in panic as men obviously stopped to check me out. After all, I'd asked for this. I'd live with it.   
It was something good girls just never did. The woman had lowered the necklines on all my feminine shirts considerably, so a good amount of my chest was visible. My symbol would be seen plainly now whenever it glowed. But the shirts just hadn't been cut to take that little fabric, and they kept threatening to slip off my shoulders, so after a long time I agreed to a compromise. She'd taken some fabric I'd never seen before, which was so thin it was almost perfectly transparent, and sewn it in in place of the removed solid fabric. No longer were the shirts simply clingy and tight around my chest, they were now also showy. So wherever I went I'd feel different. I'd insisted on wearing one out over the objections of the old woman.   
Becoming a seishi hadn't actually changed me that much. I might have done something like that to one of my blouses before I'd been discovered, on a dare; I _was_ more reckless than a lot of my friends after all, and a lot more stubborn and free-spirited. Probably even more flirty, but only in friendly situations. But Taheiji had changed me, even if he didn't know it and I never wanted him to, and I was starting to reflect that change I'd live with for the rest of my life.   
The sensible, detached part of me told me that the alterations would help me better prove my claim as a Byakko seishi and help "convince" people to leave me alone. But the emotional part, the scarred part, told me this was my punishment for being too weak to stop him and defend myself.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Due to some people's questions (including my SLPRs --;;;) I've decided to be nice and stick in a little guide for everyone here. Here's a handy-dandy table to just who the heck everyone is (only shows original characters).   


**NAME/AGE**

**ROLE**

Augai Seiki/Toroki (16)
Fourth seishi found; is semi-clairvoyant and a very keen ki senser, even though he's blind
Tsumura Joji/Kokie (14)
Fifth seishi found; can control metal and make it do what he wishes

Masuzoe Eri/Karasuki (21)
Sixth seishi found; has some bizarre powers that deal with focusing her ki through string

Tsumura Inoue (15)
Servant at the palace and Kokie's older sister (although doesn't act like it a lot), good friends with all the seishi

Tsumura-san (52)
Kokie's and Inoue's uncle who has taken care of them for two years

Heika-sama (real name unknown) (33)
The emperor, and the seishis' and Suzuno's main benefactor

Sora (?)
Subaru's horse (she was given a name simply to keep her separate from the other animals)

Tamure Masame (9)
Subaru's younger sister who almost hero-worships her and Tokaki

Tamure Maeko (?)
Subaru's mother who's concerned for her daughter's safety

Tamure Terao (?)
Subaru's father with a temper (basically disowns her for leaving)

Tamure Bokkai (deceased)
Subaru's older brother who was killed in battle with the Kutou somewhere south of the desert

Gidayu (19)
Old friend of Bokkai who moved to near the desert years ago; helps the seishi

Taheiji (first name unknown and not cared about) (?)
The bad guy; a lord from Kutou with royal ambitions who's probably insane

Bu Yujiro (24)
A Kutou soldier under Taheiji's command who defects because of the "practices" and attitude toward fighting of his boss

Ebizo (?)
One of Heika-sama's advisors/officials, who seems to know a lot about armies and maps

Royama (?)
A guard in Taheiji's personal unit

Hiroya (?)
A merchant in Subaru's hometown; she discovered her powers to save his life

Tomomi (?)
Head dressmaker for the noble women at the palace

  
Lord, I hope I got everyone. Look, the list is nearly as long as the chapter! I KNOW I missed someone. Ahh well, they'll get over it. ^_^ Hope this keeps you informed! There might be updates in future chapters, so stay tuned!   



	18. Chapter 17: Separations

  
DISCLAIMER: ~to the tune of "One Song Glory" from the musical Rent, which she's had on replay for the past half hour~ No own... FY... No own... this series here... (or that song either come to think of it, but it's a dman good song by itself ^_^)   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: All right, it seems I need to clear up at least one thing before we go on.   
^^;;;;;;;; Trust me, I want Subaru to get her act together and realize she loves Tokaki as much (maybe more ^_^) than all of you. Although, being the author, I DO have the unfair advantage of knowing what's coming up, and, more importantly in some cases, when. But honestly, think about it. After... all that, do you really think ANY sane girl would like getting too physically intimate with _any_ guy? I would think not, although thank God I've never been through it ("we don't want to go out and do the field research!" I paraphrase from Roku-chan). Yes, Suba-chan trusts this particular group of guys probably more than the rest of the male sex put together at this point, but still. Somehow... I think not. Or this is the way _she's_ gonna react; she tends to do her own things without asking me. And it takes a LOT of time and work to get over something as momentous as that; while I don't have THAT particular experience, there have been several upheavals in my life, so I'm semi-speaking from experience. It takes awhile. One good cry doesn't do it at all, not even a hundred, much as we wish it would. BUT! As J. Liha (hello fellow Tokaki-stalker! ^_^) was quick to recognize, there IS hope! She's keeping his clooooooooooothing! ~dances with joy~   
~grins at omni82~ Omni-chan, you are obviously a fan of Ryn's excellent story as well. (Good! She's great! And Ryn, _take this hint_ and update that Byakko reincarnation fic already!) And I know what you mean about the connection between Suba-chan and Tokaki... somehow it'll work itself out. He's too damn stubborn. And no, ~grins~ in this story Karasuki is not an evil male, but rather a slightly-strange foreign female (with a weird speech pattern). I'd _like_ to make a better comparison between the two Karasukis, but (agaaaaaaaaaaaain with the taking of the hinting Ryn!) there's not all that much to go on yet! ^_^   
Ahhhhhh, I forgot to do this last time! ~GLOMPS Waku-chan~ Thank you sooooo much for my first ever 100th review! I keep meaning to write you and everything, but somehow I keep forgetting! Beat it into me to make me remember! You've been keeping track of my stuff for a long time, and it always makes me smile! You really DO rock, and don't deny it! ^_^   
Oh yeah, it's either this chapter or the next where time starts getting funky - meaning I skip big chunks of it without giving much detail. Detail's just not needed that much around this point, things fall into a painful rut pretty quickly. Or maybe I'm just weird, as usual ^_^ So if it seems like it's going kinda fast, it's probably the way I'm writing the time passage.   
Oh yes, CLAMPraven, here's your reaction for you ^_^ Slightly underplayed later, but I can't help being amused by his first reaction...   
This, and a lot of what's to come, are for Rabbit. Thanks so much for putting up with me during my temporary insanity over Spring Break, dealing with my questions and pesterances. You have my endless gratitude and I'm always here if you need a shoulder, like you never seem to do you insatiably-chipper person ^_^   
  


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The inn loomed in front of me and for a minute all I could do was stand outside, clutching my bundle in front of me and managing to hide all traces of the alterations. It had been an impulsive thing to do, a stupid thing, and I couldn't change it now. How would they take it? What would they say? What would they do? Would they yell? Would they understand? Would they even _notice?_   
The door flew open in front of me and I jumped, landing a foot behind where I started, my arms clutched around me. "Subaru? Come in before you catch cold, we've been worried about you." Yujiro stood there, framed in the light spilling from the inn through the doorway. It was only then that I realized how dark and late it had gotten - and how hungry I was. The wrapped clothes prevented him from seeing what I'd done, and when he turned to go back in I meekly followed him, slightly embarrassed at how reticent I'd been to ignore even my stomach. Plus, I was wondering if I could have another bath. I still didn't _feel_ clean. I had a feeling that I'd be taking lots of baths for awhile.   
"Well what are you waiting for? Sit down." Yujiro was plainly in good spirits; he was smiling and lightly whistling a nonsense tune as he pulled out a chair for me at the table everyone was gathered around. I glanced at him uneasily, but slowly lowered myself into the seat, still holding the bundle in a strategic, concealing position. "Like it?" he said, stepping back and turning in different ways so I could see what he and Suzuno had bought for him. The clothing was a lot like Tatara's, if not quite as ornate. Tatara actually seemed to have a taste for the colorful and patterned fabrics. These were in the same style, but much toned down. "There's more of it upstairs. First time I've worn real clothing in a long time." He migrated to the other free place at the table and took a seat, still whistling.   
"Subaru? Are you all right?" Toroki quietly asked next to me. "You feel… uneasy. Different than usual."   
I began to nod, then called myself an idiot and replied verbally. "I-I'm fine."   
On my other side, Karasuki put out a hand. "Subaru, set this down and eat, you have to be famished." She began pushing down on the bundle, trying to force it to the floor. I squeaked quietly and held on tighter, earning a puzzled glance in return. "Subaru? What is it?" I didn't respond. "What is in here?" She tried to pull it away, but ended up gripping only the blanket. Everything started tumbling out of my hands and spilling on the table, and in my haste to gather it up again I forgot about why I'd been holding it in the first place… I didn't realize that it left the changes very exposed for everyone to see.   
When I looked up after a few minutes, everyone except Toroki was staring at me with unabashed amazement. I felt my face go incredibly red as I wrapped the clothing in the blanket again and placed it on the floor, carefully not meeting anyone's gaze. I folded my hands in front of me and positioned them on the table carefully, staring at them instead of facing anyone.   
"Subaru, what _possessed_ you to do that?!" Suzuno suddenly exploded.   
"What?" Toroki asked.   
"Subaru… Are you certain?" Karasuki queried.   
"What? Certain about what?"   
"Whoa mama…" Tokaki drooled, a starry-eyed dopey grin on his face, his tongue nearly hanging out of his mouth.   
"Somebody hit him! HARD!" Suzuno yelled. Yujiro was only too glad to oblige, smirking along the way.   
"Oh, something along _those_ lines," Toroki said, settling back into his seat, plainly understanding what would send Tokaki into Lust Land and everyone else into a frenzy.   
"I don't know what possessed me, yes I'm sure, and thank you Yujiro-san," I cut in quietly. "I just needed to do something, and this was all I could think of. I'm not going back on it. At least now no one will doubt I'm a seishi. And it's not uncomfortable." No, their stares were what were uncomfortable. I was actually dealing fairly well with the out-and-out stares of some of the males in the room, being as I could just ignore them, but my friends' horrified looks were in a class by themselves. I shifted in my seat. "Can we get something to eat? I'm starving."   
"Uh… sure," Toroki said, putting a hand in the air and waving it to attract attention. For once, I was very, very glad he couldn't see.   
The help came over and took our dinner request back to the kitchen, reemerging with a teapot and a stack of cups which he set in the middle of the table, casting overly-interested looks in my direction. I ignored him, determined to get used to it, and accepted the tea Karasuki handed me. Talk slowly picked up again as we began relating our day's trips and objectives, telling each other what happened and generally catching up. For the first time in awhile I felt relaxed enough to join in the conversation, showing the clothing I'd bought for Suzuno when requested, even smiling when she hugged me in delight. Our dinner was brought awhile after and we dug in with relish, continuing to talk about nothing in particular. It felt very secure and safe, sort of like we really were some bizarre type of family.   
One person was suspiciously absent from the chatting, though. All throughout dinner Tokaki just kept staring at my chest, that same clueless grin on his face.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
It was dark, so, so dark, and there was no way I could get out of it. I could feel the walls around me, hemming me in, rising far in the air above my head and swaying in the wind I couldn't feel, ready to fall on me if I made the wrong move. Evil was there, despicable, despicable evil, and I had to get out had to get out had to get away from there and get help because I couldn't fight it myself   
Hands reached out, stretching from the walls and grabbing for my hair, my clothing, my face, and I shrieked and ran, ran as fast as I could, but those grabbing hands kept appearing and reaching for me. I batted them off with my arms and kept running with all the speed I could gather, hitting and scraping the walls as I rebounded off them, running for my life. Somewhere nearby was a kind presence, a friend, and if I found them then I could get out of this hellhole, but I was terrified and I had no idea where to look only that they were there and I had to find them   
find them find them find them find them   
I shrieked again as Taheiji appeared in front of me, scrambling to a stop and trying to go backwards, but I hit something solid and looked up and there was the guard again grinning down at me and I knew it was all over and I'd never make it out   
and I'd never find my friend I'd never find them I'd never find him I'd never find Tokaki and I needed to find him to get out of here and he could get me out and where was he when I needed him and I was going to be   
the guard shoved me forward and at the snap of his fingers Taheiji made all my clothes disappear leaving me defenseless and frightened and I dropped to the floor and curled in a ball to hide myself but it didn't do any good he grabbed me and hauled me up and kissed me hard and cruel and began removing his own clothes as the hands grew from the walls and held me and silenced my voice   
"Subaru!"   
that voice it was far away but I needed it I needed it to be there NOW or it would happen again and I'd die if it happened so why wasn't the owner there   
"_Subaru!_"   
come save me come save me please save me I need you to save me because I'm weak and worthless and maybe this was my punishment for being weak and worthless and I need you to save me   
"SUBARU!" the voice thundered in my ear.   
I woke up, shaking. The room was dark around me except for one candle, stuck in a candlestick on the table, the flame trembling slightly in the moving air as if it shared my dream. I felt cold and hot all at once and I was drenched in sweat, Tokaki's shirt that I was sleeping in yet again clinging to me almost indecently. The faint light cast itself on three figures: Karasuki and Suzuno, sitting in chairs around the table and looking at me with fear and pity, Karasuki's arms around Suzuno's shoulders to comfort her. And in front of me was a shock of sleep-tousled white hair and a pair of familiar copper eyes…   
"T-Tokaki," I gulped, close to crying. "I-It was so horrible…"   
"Shhh…" he whispered, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed and taking one of my hands between his own two. "I know, you were screaming."   
"I… I was… I-I was scr-reaming?"   
"Yeah, you were," he said gently. "Karasuki and Suzuno couldn't wake you up, so they came to get me."   
I threw myself forward and hugged him hard around the neck, hanging there like a limp doll, crying silently into his shirt. He didn't mind, just held me for a long, long time, his silence doing more to calm me than words ever could.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Tatara and Tokaki had planned our return journey so we could stop in a town every night and find an inn where we could have baths and beds to sleep in. I was the only one to accept a bath every night, as they were fairly expensive, but no one begrudged the money. The nightmares continued, all variations of me being trapped in stone mazes that seemed to somehow come alive and force me to go to my tormentors, even though one was dead and the other had disappeared. Sometimes I would feel that friendly presence, sometimes not. They always had a hard time waking me.   
The cloud stayed with us all the way. I knew it was I who was the cause of it, so I made it a habit to stay a little behind the others, keeping my influence away and letting them be happy. I wanted to be happy too, wanted to joke and laugh with them like I'd done before, be entirely comfortable and naïve once again, but it wasn't to be. They took turns riding with me, even Yujiro and Karasuki, keeping me company. I was grateful for their sacrifice, but embarrassed and ashamed that they felt they had to make the sacrifice in the first place.   
It was in the fourth town that we heard the rumors: more Kutou soldiers had began pouring into the country through the holes our limited manpower left in our defense, enough men to completely restock the Kutou army. It would be easy for them to force a path to the capital. The desert would delay them, as would our soldiers, whose ranks were gradually getting larger as more men completed their training, but it was a slow process that took one man much longer to complete than it took another to die.   
We weren't sure if the rumors were true or not, but even I knew that if there was even a speck of reality then we'd be needed at the capital, and fast. The last seishi had to be found and Byakko had to be called as quickly as possible, but first we needed to know the situation. Yujiro was grim when the news reached him, a clearly unsettled look taking residence on his face. He knew, more than any of us, what the Kutou army was capable of. He had more to lose than any of us. We had to keep him safe; he might be able to help us with defense or give us valuable information. We needed to get back…   
All together the trip took nine days, at least two more than it had taken on the way out. When we finally saw the lights of the capital in the distance on that last night, I nearly wept with relief. And I wasn't the only one.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
We crept into the city quietly in the night, glad of the darkness as cover and the lack of crowds to battle through. We made our way up and down the hills, remaining as quiet as possible, threading down the narrow side streets like wraiths. At one point Kokie sat up straighter and looked around eagerly; I realized the area looked familiar and immediately knew what he was thinking. I kicked Sora into a trot and pulled up next to him, giving him a tired, warning look. "I'm sorry Kokie, but you can't."   
"Why can't I?" he demanded quietly. "I want to go home. If I wanted I could right now, you all have metal on, you know."   
"It's your duty," I said quietly. _Duty,_ my inner voice remarked. It had become very cynical lately. _Duty's a word they use instead of "enslavement." There is no duty in the world._ "You know it. You have to meet the emperor and make yourself known. He's a kind man, if he has no real reason to keep you at the palace he'll let you return home in the morning." I looked at him again, feeling slightly afraid. This was Kokie. This was my little brother. The list of people I could trust was short already, I couldn't lose another one, even in this way. I didn't know if I could take it.   
He said nothing for a moment, turning away from me and watching the dirt road in front of him. "All right, I won't go until I see him. You don't have to worry."   
"Arigato," I said softly.   
All too soon the palace gates were in front of us, the large, imposing ones that had a double guard on it at all times. As we emerged from the dusk, eight nondescript figures on tired horses, the guards leapt in surprise and jumped in front of the gates, pointing their weapons at us. I shrank back, I couldn't help it, even though I knew I had nothing to fear from these guards, wearing the colors of Byakko. Kokie silently reached out and put a hand on my shoulder, and I relaxed somewhat, allowing myself to untense slightly. "Halt! State your business!"   
Suzuno climbed off the back of Karasuki's horse and approached the men, wearing the disguising clothing I'd bought for her in Reisen, as she had since I'd gotten them. They looked incredibly… natural on her, as if she should have been born in our world and was just a stray soul that had wandered to another area. "Relax, it's me. Ohsugi Suzuno. Byakko no Miko."   
"BYAKKO NO MIKO?!"   
Six seishi symbols lit up the darkness as we all applied our powers, one after the other, glowing like overly bright candles.   
There was no further delay.   
We sent Kokie with Tatara and Yujiro with Tokaki as we split and headed for our rooms. Karasuki stayed with me, sticking almost unnaturally close. I sighed; the others probably didn't want me to be alone again. I couldn't really blame them for their caution; at times I was almost self-destructive.   
There were more blankets and pillows in our rooms than one sane person could use, so we had no trouble providing bedding for our three extra "guests". Their first night in the palace was spent on the floor, but a more comfortable floor was hard to be imagined. The carpet was thick enough to allow your body to sink into it somewhat, giving you plenty of cushioning, and the blankets kept a person warm. The chill coming into the air indicated the end of summer and the approach of winter, when the blankets would definitely be appreciated.   
It was another night of dead sleep and welcome blackness that I fell into with a will, reluctant to ever drag myself out of it. For awhile I felt Karasuki watching me carefully, but eventually she too succumbed to the wear and tear of travel and slept peacefully.   
Waking up, however, was not quite as calm. It seemed I had barely closed my eyes when something large and heavy landed on me, making me yelp in surprise and wake up instantly. It also felt like I was being strangled.   
"Byakko… _Inoue?!_"   
"Subaru-sama!" The petite girl beamed at me happily, hugging me tightly about the neck again. She'd thrown herself on the bed and scrambled to hug me as soon as she'd opened the door it seemed; it was still swinging slightly with the force. "You're back you're back you're back you're back!"   
"Uhhhhhhhh… we're back?"   
She giggled and hugged me again, and I hugged her back, struck with how… young she seemed compared to her little brother. Smaller, much less muscular, at the moment much less mature, but appearances could easily be deceiving; I knew she could be the ideal (if short) elder sister if she wanted to be.   
"Is there something on fire?" Karasuki sat up on the floor, yawning and stretching like a cat. Her unusual voice was thick with sleep and her eyes were still cloudy. She blinked in our direction, trying to make her eyes focus and failing miserably.   
"Who's that?" Inoue whispered, a drastic change from before.   
I had to smile as Karasuki rubbed her eyes, her tangled hair a mess around her face. She looked so young, even though she was the oldest of us all at twenty-one. "That's Karasuki."   
"Karasuki… another seishi?!" Inoue immediately scrambled off the bed and knelt in front of her, studying her intently.   
Karasuki just blinked at her blearily. "I am a seishi. Who might you be?"   
"I'm Tsumura Inoue," she chirped. How could she have that much _energy_ this early? "I work here." Karasuki looked at me, silently begging for translation.   
I couldn't stop another smile; Inoue was infectious again. "This is Inoue. She's Kokie's older sister. She's also the entire reason why he's with us. She works as a servant in the palace, helping me and Suzuno and the guys."   
"Oh." Karasuki turned back to Inoue. "Hello."   
Inoue giggled. "Hello. Ne, Subaru-sama, is Joji here?" She was incredibly transparent today, every emotion that she usually hid so carefully playing over her face. I could read her like an open book; she plainly wanted me to say he was - but also slightly feared it. "I mean, is he in the palace?"   
"Joji?"   
"Kokie," I answered Karasuki. "He is, he slept in Tatara's room." I glanced out the window. "I don't think they're up yet, it's still early."   
"Arigato!" She hopped up and hugged me again, and I hugged her once more in return. "I think I'll go wake him up. And the emperor! When he finds out you all've snuck in without even giving proper notice he'll… he'll… well, he won't do anything, but he'll be annoyed." She giggled. "Byakko, that was a surprise, opening the door to clean your room and seeing you there… I'll be back later with breakfast, all right?" Before I could answer she'd hopped out, calling a farewell over her shoulder.   
Karasuki stared after her. "Are you sure she is not a cyclone?"   
"Sometimes I wonder that myself…"   
"At the least she got you to smile."   
I grew quiet, folding myself around my knees and wrapping them tightly with my arms. My hands were lost in the far-too-long sleeves of Tokaki's shirt, which I had again slept in, but they gripped each other anyway though the fabric. Life goes on, even after something as bad as what I had been through. Life goes on and all you can do is flow with it until something else changes your path.   
So why did I feel like I was getting left behind?   
Karasuki got dressed silently, donning her same style of clothing, although in different colors (blue skirt and gray shirt today), wrenching a brush through the tangles in her hair before putting it up in her usual ponytail. Then she left the room, closing the door softly behind her. I lay down in my warm bed and pulled my blankets up to my chin, curling up like a kitten. I could feel tears in my eyes. I hadn't done enough crying over it yet. Maybe when I'd cried enough I'd feel like my old self again, like it hadn't ever happened. I'd done plenty of screaming, but not enough crying. I needed to cry to make myself better. Then I could stop being a burden on everyone, they could stop taking care of me-   
"Subaru!" Karasuki burst into the room again, looking panicked. I quickly sat up, swiping at my eyes with the back of my hand. "Subaru! Where is the doctor?!"   
"Doctor? What? What happened?" Something was wrong, something big, or Karasuki wouldn't be this excited. I swung my legs slowly out of the blankets and stood shakily.   
  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"She's got a high fever, is delirious, and probably can't recognize anyone." It was the same doctor Inoue had taken me to the day after I'd come, the head palace doctor, although I couldn't remember his name. He looked to be about in his mid-forties and in good shape; his hair was gray only at the temples and there were barely any lines on his face. I think he had a son working under him, but I wasn't sure. He was very knowledgeable; if anyone around here could help Suzuno, it was him.   
But at the moment he didn't look very hopeful. "I can give her something to maybe lower the fever, but the usual course is to let these things run themselves out. But I don't see what could have caused it, as none of you have it nor have we had any reports of it from the countryside…"   
We six seishi, Inoue, and Yujiro were all gathered in Suzuno's room, perched wherever we could or standing if needed, watching the girl on the bed. Her eyes were squeezed shut as if against a very strong light, she was flushed and breathing heavily. She didn't lie still, instead thrashed about, or rather, tried to: she didn't seem to have much energy, and her thrashing was reduced to uncomfortable squirming and the occasional flinging of a limb out from under the blanket. Every time that happened the recalcitrant body part would immediately get pulled back in, as if it would freeze if it remained outside. She would whimper and make other small noises so pitiful they'd make my heart want to break. I was so scared. I couldn't do anything for her, I couldn't, I was useless…   
"Could drugs do that?" Tatara spoke up suddenly. He was the gravest of us all, worry radiating from every point of his features.   
"Drugs?" the doctor asked sharply, quickly looking at him.   
He nodded, mouth pressed into a thin line. "Suzuno…Suzuno said… She said the Kutou army was putting things in her food, things that made her sleep. Could they have put other things in as well?"   
"No," Yujiro spoke up rigidly. "They didn't."   
"How would you know? You didn't work in the kitchen." It was perhaps the first time I'd ever heard Tatara bitter.   
"But they made _me_ put in the sleeping powder."   
We all looked at him in surprise.   
He nodded. "It's true. I hate it, but it is. After they dropped her off, one of them would come and give me a small packet of the stuff to mix in her next meal. And that was _all_ they gave me."   
"But they could have put other drugs in the food before you received it, Yujiro-san," Toroki said quietly, shocking Yujiro into silence. It was clear he hadn't thought of that before, and also quite clear that the thought of it now was disgusting to him.   
"I'm so glad I got out of there…" he muttered bitterly.   
The doctor slowly nodded. "There are… medicines and powders that when used sparingly are very beneficial, can cure all manner of things. But when overused, or used in unpracticed hands… yes, they could probably cause this. Especially a combination. The stress of the term in prison, with little comfort, and the obvious sleep deprivation you're all suffering would probably trigger the attack a lot more quickly than normal. They might have wanted to wear her down to get their answers out of her… This is only speculation, but I believe that's the most likely scenario." He shook his head as he finished his idea, grim confusion on his face. "Without knowing what they fed her I can't do much but wait… and neither can you all."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"And how is Suzuno?" the emperor asked as we finished presenting Kokie, Karasuki, and Yujiro. Inoue had snuck in to watch her brother's reaction to the emperor. She could be proud: he'd been perfectly calm and collected. Karasuki was understandably a bit nervous, but Yujiro was out-and-out shaking in his shoes. Thankfully, the emperor's kind nature and comfortable attitude had placated him somewhat, although he still looked worried.   
"The doctor is staying with her for now, and when he has to leave we've agreed to take shifts to look after her," Toroki said. We were arranged in a neat pattern on the floor in front of the dais, kneeling respectfully to our ruler. "We won't let her be alone. But that's about all we can do, she has to fight it from the inside."   
Heika-sama sighed, rubbing his face in an absent-minded way. "I understand… poor girl...… Fine. Thank you all, you have done us a great service, retrieving Byakko no Miko." He'd swung into full formal mode again, which made all of us sit up a little straighter. "We give you free rein to decide what your next course of action will be, whether to remain here or to set forth and search for the final seishi, and we wish to be informed of your decision at the earliest possible convenience to you. Now, if you please Bu-san, we wish to ask a few questions of you." He motioned for Yujiro to stand.   
He did, watching him only slightly warily. "What kind of questions?"   
"About the Kutou army, of course. What other types of questions do you ask a defector but ones about the enemy?" He quirked a smile at Yujiro, who managed to summon up a shaky one in return. "We will not be interrogating you, and you are under no obligation to answer if you do not wish to. We merely wish to know more."   
"Yes, Bu-san, we're not going to hurt you." Ebizo was standing near the throne, watching us. Until then he'd been silent the entire meeting. "If you would please step in here?" He walked over and opened the small door that led to the private room, the same one I'd been briefed in when I first arrived. Yujiro cautiously walked forward, eyeing the door dubiously. He glanced back once at us, and at a nod from Tokaki disappeared inside, Ebizo following him.   
Heika-sama stood and we rose as well, stretching out cramped backs and muscle kinks. I thought he would go immediately into the small room, but instead when he descended from the dais he approached us. He moved through the small crowd of seishi one by one, talking to each of us so softly not even their nearest neighbor could hear. Each seishi made brief replies and nodded or shook their head. He really was a kind emperor, one who was concerned about the welfare of his people.   
I was very, very nervous when he got to me. I put my hands behind my back and twisted them together, wringing them like you would a cloth. _Byakko,_ I prayed, _please don't let him ask anything that will trigger it again… please…_   
"Subaru? Are you all right?" he asked.   
_Damnit._ I didn't trust my voice or my face, so I kept my head down as I nodded my answer. He had enough problems on his shoulders as it was, he didn't need mine on top of them.   
I felt his eyes look down at my altered clothing and back at my face, but I didn't peek to see what his expression was. "You do not seem to be quite yourself."   
"I'm fine," I spoke shortly. He looked at me for another moment, then moved on to Karasuki.   
A minute later, after the door to the small room closed behind him, Kokie spun to face the rest of us. "We have to make a decision. And now."   
"Yeah," Tokaki said, "we've gotta choose whether to stay or go. So who's for what?"   
"I would prefer to go," Karasuki spoke up. "I am sorely worried about Suzuno, but we are none of us doctors. We know we are able to locate the seishi without the miko, so we should try and do that with him or her, so we shall be ready to summon Byakko when Suzuno is well again."   
"But we can't just leave her here," Toroki said. "She's not just our miko, she's Suzuno. She's our friend. We can't just abandon her, we're almost the only people she knows here. We need to be here to help her whenever she comes out of that trance or whatever she's in."   
"But if we have the other seishi then we can immediately call Byakko-" Kokie began.   
"But if the rumors are true we may not have a miko to summon Byakko with," Tokaki retorted grimly. "If there really is an army somewhere out there in the desert, we'd either get swept up in it, trampled by it, or caught in it. We can't take the chance until we're sure; it was pure luck we found Subaru and Kokie without the miko's help. And here we can fight off the army. They could get to the capital easily, and everyone knows about the lack of guys."   
"So we have two for going, two for staying," Toroki stated. "Subaru, what do you want to do?"   
I knew before the issue was brought up what I wanted. However, I couldn't get what I wanted, which was to hide and cry until I felt better, so I went for the next best option. "Stay," I said quietly. I could at least be with Suzuno, even if she didn't know me for awhile.   
"One more. Tatara?"   
I glanced at Tatara out of the corner of my eye. The normally gentle man seemed as solid and as firmly rooted in his decision as a thousand-year-old tree in the soil, determination plain on his face. "I'm not going anywhere."   
"No surprise there. So we're staying then. Karasuki, Kokie, we'd better see about getting you two rooms. And Yujiro-san too, I don't think Tokaki wants to spend another night in the same room as him."   
"Joji-chan, are you sure about staying here?" Inoue had stayed quietly in the background while official seishi business had been conducted, but now she came forward to face her brother. "What about Uncle?"   
Kokie looked around at the ornate decoration, the extreme overuse of precious metals and jewels, turning his head slowly to take it all in before returning to his sister. "I have a feeling that I'd better stay here until everything's over… I'm going to go see him every day though."   
"All right…" she replied skeptically. "Come on then, it's this way." She took Toroki's arm, leading him out, the other two trailing after them like baby chicks.   
Tatara left silently, turning in the direction of our rooms. He was probably going to return to Suzuno, so he could at least be near her. It was wonderful how he was so concerned with her. But that left me alone with Tokaki.   
He probably couldn't help himself, but I saw - more than once - his eyes travel down from my face and over my chest, and each and every time made me shiver. I couldn't help it; even though I trusted him not to do anything that might cause a relapse, he was still _Tokaki_. He might mean well, but sometimes he didn't have a sensible bone in his body.   
"S-So… uhm… wh-where are _you_ going, Subaru?" He sounded a bit too interested, but only in the normal Tokaki way that made me roll my eyes and want to smack him. But even those normal feelings were combined with an instinctive recoiling and fleeing from the light…   
"I-I'm going to the library, actually." It had been bugging me for the past two days, and finally I would find out what had gone on.   
"The library?" The unexpected answer jerked his attention back to my face, a puzzled expression on his. "Why do you need to go there? Do you even know where it is?"   
I felt myself go completely red, as if I wasn't already, and looked down at my shoes. "Um… no. Do you… think you can show me?"   
He nodded silently and took my hand, pulling me gently along behind him out the door. I was as red as could be, no doubt about it. And I could feel my body start to panic as his hand gripped mine, my mind start to go _no… no…_   
I jerked away before I could shriek.   
He looked back at me, confused, but then an expression of understanding dawned on his face. "Gomen," he said roughly as he walked down the confusing maze of corridor, taking turns I was sure the architects put in there just to confuse people like me with no sense or memory of direction. "I forgot."   
_Forgot? Forgot? How could you forget?_   
He stopped before yet another plain door like so many others in the palace. He paused as if listening for a moment, then rapped on the wood with his knuckles before opening the door. "This is it."   
I edged around him and into the room. It looked long and narrow, with long shelves of books and scrolls arranged in the open space. There was a man roughly in his sixties sitting behind a table near the door, papers spread in front of him, brush in hand. He was watching the door in surprise as I stepped in, Tokaki behind me. I stood there meekly, waiting for either him or Tokaki to say something.   
"May I help you?" he finally inquired.   
"Y-Yes, I think so…" _Damn you, voice_. It was shaking again. Great. "I'd like to see everything you have on Hokkan, the four gods… and on Genbu no Miko."   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: I already know what Ryn thinks of the Byakko seishi that aren't shown, and I read 18th Angel's story with _that_ interpretation, but what does everyone else think? If you had to picture Toroki, Amefuri, Karasuki, and Kokie on their own, what would they be like? ^^;;;; I know I sound pathetic, but I really am interested in what other people would make them as.   
~stands up docily as if she's in a therapy group and under heavy sedation, eyes half-closed and a weird smile on her face~ My name is Kaze-chan and I enjoy mythology, Broadway shows, and computer art.   
~gets dragged away by the men in white coats~   
(Natsuki actually got me interested in asking this, I swear I'm sane! Or sort of sane, at least ^^) 


	19. Chapter 18: Alone

  
DISCLAIMER: I forgot it when I uploaded the first time ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; Anyway, not mine.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: ~grins~ I love you all, you know that? I'm gonna try and answer some more of your questions now, so hold on, it'll take awhile.   
Y'know why Suba-chan's still depressed and all? Because it's realistic. Even though with anime/FY you _have_ to be somewhat kooky, I still like to give them human emotions and have them act like real people. If anything, she's getting over it fast. But then again, she's not exactly getting over it... more like pushing it to the side and just not focusing on it. But it works for me.   
Omni-chan, you rock. I love that you express your opinions (but what do you mean, you're infirm?). I think her problem with him forgetting is that since he did, he'll become regular old Tokaki ~rolls her eyes~ and much more likely than not do something to give her an even WORSE reaction. And it's such a big part of her awareness right now that I don't think she thinks it's possible for the others to be able to forget about it. No guarantees on that, she's refusing a psychoanalysis.   
Lanen, glad ta see ya back! What kept ya away so long?   
And yeah, CLAMPraven, I _like_ responding to everyone! ^_^ Makes me feel more "in tune" somehow, as messed up as that sounds. But I have a secret! ^^ Well, not really a secret, as quite a few people know, but I already have up through chapter 23 completed. ^_^ It's true, that "temporary insanity" I mentioned in my last author's notes was this sudden spree of inspiration I suddenly got for this fic. In the space of about two weeks I wrote 7 pages (of 12) of chapter 15 all the way through the end of 23 (and I've been stuck on 24 for a month --;; Damn). It was over spring break, and I was doing a chapter a night that entire week. And these are my normal chapters, so they're about 10 pages long each. I think I went temporarily insane ^_^ I am not changing any of my chapters to suit the way anyone wants the story to go; people just seem to ask the right questions ^_^   
As for questions, what _is_ in the library? Well, some answers are revealed in this chapter, others aren't. But they _do_ get answered. Eventually.   
Hee hee heeeeeeeeeeeee, I love having that much written. Not that I don't already know (most of) the story already, but I could, in all probability, tell you the exact _paragraph_ on the exact _page_ in the exact _chapter_ when she _finally_ admits she loves him... But I wooooooooonnnnnn't, because I'm eeeeeeeeeeeeviiiiillllll ~dangles the idea of SAP in front of them on a fishing pole as bait, humming a tune~ Dangle dangle dangle...   
And they're gonna get together when they get together! ~grins~ Sheesh, hold your horses!   
Oh, and Sanomi ^_~ You got it right! Actually, my full name is Kazeko (heh, I _wish_ that was my real name) and that means "wind child," which suits me on so many levels it's disturbing - although I was only thinking of ONE level when I named myself that! Isn't it creepy? When we pick our own names they typically suit us much better than the ones we're given at birth (remind me to tell you about my friend the snowboarder one day, now THERE is a weird coincidence with a name...)   
And NO Ara-chan, you are NOT going to start hunting me with flamethrowers! You do and I'll tickle you to DEATH! ~grins evilly~   
Yeep, two last things real quick and that's it! (1) AYASHI NO CERES! I have FINALLY started collecting it, and lord I love it! (2) FINALS NEXT WEEK! EEEEEEEEEEK!   
  


*************************************************************************************

  
  
The next few days blurred together in my mind. They became an endless cycle of the same routine. Every morning I'd be awakened by Inoue, who would come in to freshen the room and chat a bit. I usually wasn't too coherent, but somehow we kept her from finding out about what happened. She'd give me puzzled glances several times in response to my sad, tired replies to her questions, as if wondering what was wrong with me, but seemed to accept the fact that I wouldn't tell until I was comfortable with it. She used our quiet talk time to let go of the calm, submissive demeanor she had to assume with the high-and-mighty in the palace life and her superiors and be even crazier than she'd have been otherwise. After she left there would be a space of time before she or another servant would either bring me breakfast or tell me whose room it had been set up in, and I would get dressed. At the group breakfasts our talk was trivial, calm, and quiet, with an underlying tenseness to every word. Solitary breakfasts were almost worse, as I could focus on my own thoughts without interruption, whether I wanted to or not, and I rarely did. My friends would have to work to get me to talk, and after awhile they stopped trying.   
Then it would be library time for me. It had grown into an obsession with me, finding out everything I could about the first appearance of a miko and seishi. Unfortunately there wasn't a whole lot of information, and what I could find was written in this archaic dialect I had trouble figuring out. On the second day, when I was about to destroy something out of anger and frustration, the librarian had gently told me that after the miko left Hokkan had switched scripts to the one all the empires used, and what I was reading was a combination of the old and new. That wouldn't have done much to calm me down, except he'd presented me with a scroll that had rough translations of the ancient Hokkan characters into our modern text. It was still a slow process, but after that I could look it up instead of getting angry, and slowly I grew to understand certain characters on sight as I became familiar with them. It was all a matter of patience. Sometimes Tokaki, the only other one who knew about my project, would join me, helping me search antique writings for any clue.   
I didn't know what the other seishi did all day. The level of communication between us had dropped to an all-time low. Yujiro was no longer spending time with us as he had been claimed by the army generals, and ended up being housed in the barracks with the guards. Word reached us that they were treating him very well and he was even in the running for a captain's post. Kokie and Karasuki had each gotten rooms, and with the splitting of the sleeping areas there seemed to be a ceasing of the sharing. The only time I saw more than two of my fellow seishi at the same time were at mealtimes, as I was spending all my time either in my room or in the library.   
After lunch I'd have my shift watching Suzuno. We'd split up the times fairly equally, only leaving her for meals, with Tatara, Kokie, and Karasuki in the morning, and Toroki, Tokaki, and I in the afternoon. Inoue typically sat with her at lunchtime, while the doctor or his son looked in during breakfast and dinner. It was heartbreaking, sitting there, watching her twist, feeling how hot her forehead was, hearing her whimper in pain and agony. We didn't know what her dreams were, but they couldn't have been pleasant. Sometimes she would stop and sleep quietly, and her temperature might drop a little, but it would always come back.   
Always then I'd see Tatara. He seemed to be unable to tear himself away from her, as if they were physically tied together. More than half the times it was supposedly my turn to sit with her, wiping her forehead with a cloth dipped in cool water, he'd be there as well. I was perversely glad of it. He seemed to be the one person I could talk freely to, about anything at all. We would sit there in the quiet room and he would let me talk, let me speak my mind and my fears. Sometimes he'd hold me, quiet and comforting, just as if we were really siblings. I'd felt closer to him than any other seishi, even Toroki or Tokaki, for a much longer time, and I felt myself depending on him more and more as the days went by. The incredible guilt I felt at burdening him with two patients was overridden by Tatara himself, who assured me that it was all right.   
"If this gets you back to your old self nothing's too big," he said reassuringly one day. "No one likes seeing you so depressed, even though we understand."   
"Thank you," I whispered.   
"If you need someone to lean on, I'm glad it's me." He glanced at Suzuno, and what had to be the saddest look I'd ever seen on a human face crossed his. "It sort of makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile."   
I hugged him tightly, completely in sympathy with him and on the verge of tears. We all felt useless here, and we were. Nothing we could do could help Suzuno, or make her better. He hugged me back, silently thanking me, and I could swear I felt a drop of water land on my head. I chose not to say anything, though.   
From the others I was as separated as if there were fences built between us. Karasuki still hadn't seemed to mesh with the group and would disappear completely from the palace, except for the times she was sitting with Suzuno, which was usually right after breakfast. Kokie too would vanish after his shift, going down to his family's house and staying there the entire day. Neither of them made it back for lunch much. Toroki also seemed to be doing something on his own which involved staying in his room or other quiet places where he was unlikely to be disturbed. He frequently looked tired and worn out, even though he went to bed early and was usually the last one up in the mornings. Tokaki never seemed to stick to any one activity but almost rush around from place to place, being either a nuisance or being helpful, depending on where he was. I saw him in the guards' training grounds one day, helping instruct the new recruits in fighting (and kicking everyone's butt); another day he would try to help Toroki but would have to run away as Toroki literally shot at him to get him out. Other days he disappeared from all view as easily as Karasuki did, and reappeared in the middle of dinner looking tired and dirty, but happy.   
The library became my sanctuary, and it was rare that I left it except for seeing Suzuno, meals, and sleeping. I gradually made headway on my search, making notes on a spare piece of paper as I went, taking down everything of interest I saw. The librarian and I gradually got on first-name terms. To him I became Subaru-chan, his most dedicated visitor. He once said he reminded me of his granddaughter, and I had to bite my tongue before I bitterly asked if she was a tormented recluse like I'd become. I hated myself, oh how I detested what I now was.   
About two weeks passed in that manner, the chill growing in the air seeming to signify the chill between us supposedly inseparable people. We were so close but so distant. I knew what had caused it.   
I had. Me. It was because of my being too weak to straighten myself out, return myself to normal that this glum had settled over everyone. Kaa-san had always said that a family, or any group of close people, adopted the most dismal mood they could find among them. And mine was bordering on suicidal at times. With me around, no one could be happy, no one felt like they could laugh. I knew they all thought that being glad or showing good emotions would drive me even further into depression, and so they restrained themselves. But to keep their emotions locked up they couldn't be around me, either. Otherwise they would explode and start yelling and cursing me, blaming me for all their problems. They were kind enough to spare me of that fate as well, even though I truly was the cause.   
There were whispers among the servants, tentatively related to me by Inoue, about the reasons behind the split of the seishi. Even though most attributed it to anxiety over the illness of Byakko no Miko, some thought there had been a failed romance, or extreme jealousy of one seishi in particular, or that something dreadful had happened when we'd retrieved Suzuno. I couldn't find the energy to confirm or deny anything she said. She was gradually growing less and less cheerful, less sunny, less prone to spontaneous bursts of joy in my presence. I was hurting her, but I didn't know how to make it better.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Exactly fifteen days after we returned to the palace, I set down my brush on the table the librarian had jokingly named "The Seishi Study Spot", rubbed my tired eyes with my tired, ink-splattered fingers, and stretched my tired muscles by reaching my arms high above my head.   
"You finished?" Tokaki asked. It was one of the days he would join me, giving me help with the research. He still couldn't help looking at my chest every now and then, but I'd learned to ignore it, as long as that was all he did.   
"No, just cramped." I stood cautiously and began walking around the table slowly, trying to work every muscle in my body so I might not feel so tense. "Go ahead and look, if you want," I said, gesturing to the paper.   
He scooted around the table until he was kneeling in front of where I usually sat, reading the words on the paper, some whose ink was still wet. "…combination of turtle and snake, that sounds disgusting… god of earth… color is green… Is this all there is?" He sounded incredibly disappointed and slighted.   
"All I've found so far." He moved back as I dropped to my place once again, pushing aside the book I'd been perusing and picking up another one to start on. "I still have to go through all those." I waved my hand to my left, where no less than thirty books and scrolls waited for my attention. "There's a lot of stuff here, but most of it has the same information as everything else." I opened the book carefully, turning the pages cautiously, afraid of ripping it. My eyes widened as I came to the first page with writing, for two reasons: unlike almost everything else that was actually from that time, it was written mostly in the modern language, not the mixture, and what it said… "This might be good… it's an account of the court affairs from a hundred and ten years ago." I did the math in my head instantly; being a sort-of merchant's daughter had its advantages, such as getting a good education. "It was written by… let's see, looks like some government official who spent a lot of time at the palace. Wouldn't it be reasonable for them to go to the emperor for help, like we did?"   
Tokaki nodded. "Sounds logical enough to me. What else?"   
"Hold on, let me look…" I was feeling close to normal today. Or at least emotionless. It felt like all the negativity had been locked away to give me a chance at rest, even if the positive things hadn't come back. I scanned the pages quickly, looking for any interesting and useful information. "It looks like some sort of official diary. Nothing… Nothing…" I flipped the leaves of paper over carefully. "Nothing…" As I continued to scan Tokaki lost interest in waiting and picked up another scroll himself, unrolling it and beginning to puzzle over the mix of texts. I was getting good at reading it without the translations, but he was still hopeless.   
Then, about a month into the year, I caught something. A name, actually: Takiko. And beside it was the symbol for Genbu. I began to actually read, then gasped as I realized what exactly I was holding in my hands.   
"What is it?" Tokaki queried anxiously, instantly by my side.   
"Listen to this." I waited until he shut up to begin reading, going slowly because of some tricky words, stumbling over others. "'Today a… girl, of about fifteen' - or is that sixteen? Anyway- 'came… to us, bringing… with her three men who… claim to be Genbu no shi…chiseishi.'"   
"Byakko woman, I think you found it!"   
"Yeah, I just hope it keeps up like this."   
He glanced out the window in the back wall and sighed, setting aside his scroll and standing up. "Gomen, it's my turn to watch Suzuno. I'll come back to get you when you're up, all right? You can tell me everything then."   
I nodded, getting absorbed into figuring out the tricky language again. Not only was it a very odd mixture, the phrasing sounded so formal and odd. I was beginning to understand why Karasuki talked so properly. I didn't hear him leave.   
It was fascinating. The book was a day-by-day account of affairs that required the emperor's attention, and nearly once a week there would be a new entry about the seishi: something they had done, news received, or another seishi found. The names of all seven were gradually revealed: Hikitsu, Iname, Uruki, Tomite, Urumiya, Hatsui, Namame. Some of their powers came to light as well. Uruki, Hikitsu, and Hatsui turned out to be the three that had appeared with the girl Takiko at the very first, and one by one the others gradually appeared. And their powers…   
I spun in surprise as the door crashed opened and feet pounded down the room towards me. Tokaki skidded out of the shelves, the tails of his sash almost parallel to the floor in the wind of his passing, his earrings swinging crazily. I briefly wondered why he hadn't just popped in and out as I knew he was perfectly capable of. "Subaru! Come ON!" Before I could ask him what was going on he'd grabbed my hands and hauled me to my feet, pulling me back down the room in a dead run. I had trouble keeping up with him because he hadn't given me enough time to get my feet under me and I couldn't find a place where I could attempt it without falling on my face. But something had happened. Why else would he be going crazy?   
_No brain, do NOT answer that._   
"What happened?" I gasped, yanking myself free, pausing briefly to catch both my breath and my balance, then beginning to run again to catch up with him. It was definitely important-   
"She's awake again! Her fever's broken!"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
All of us that were in the palace - meaning me, Tokaki, Tatara, and Toroki - had gathered in Suzuno's room, watching her carefully as she sat up in bed, leaning herself against the headboard. She looked pale and moved slowly, but she was awake, coherent, and was much cooler than she'd been in more than two weeks, although she still did have some fever. Tatara was kneeling right next to her bed, ready to jump to his feet if anything happened. She wouldn't be able to do anything for awhile, but she was on the mend at last.   
She smiled at all of our concern, a bit weakly, but it was still her smile. "Daijobu," she said softly but clearly. "It's much better. Can I have some water, please?"   
Every day the maids had left several pitchers of cool water and a variety of glasses for Suzuno's self-appointed guardians, and they were still there, sitting on the table. I was the closest, so I reached out and snagged an unused cup, taking the pitcher in my other hand, and pouring the water quickly. I was almost ready to faint with relief that she was back, she was back, she would be well. I handed the cup to Tokaki, who gave it to Tatara, who placed it in Suzuno's hand and wrapped her fingers around it.   
She smiled at all of us before taking a drink. "Arigato." She wiped at her mouth with her hand slowly, as if she had to think about each motion. "How are all of you?"   
"We're fine," Toroki replied automatically. "We were really worried about you. When Kokie and Karasuki come back they'll be overjoyed to hear you're better."   
"Where are they, anyway?" she asked, looking around as if she had not noticed their absence until Toroki had mentioned it.   
Tatara took that question, his voice wavering ever so slightly. "Kokie goes home every day to take care of his uncle, but we don't know where Karasuki goes. They'll be back in time for dinner, hopefully."   
"That's good… I'm hungry. Do you think I could get something to eat?"   
"I'll do it," I spoke up hurriedly, ducking out of the room with a sigh of relief. The emotions were so heavy in that room I was going to lose control if I stayed in there much longer, and I couldn't let myself do that. I checked each of our rooms in case there was someone I could ask to go to the kitchens, but found no one. Inoue was attending to other duties at that point of the day, so the best I could hope for was to either wait there and wish for someone to come, or walk around and maybe bump into someone. Then I remembered that Yujiro still hadn't heard the news yet, so I turned in the direction of the barracks and began to walk, thinking I'd probably find someone.   
It was easy for me to get there, as it was an outdoor walk through a lot of gardens. Even though it was now autumn and most of the flowers had disappeared, the various plants and the late bloomers gave the gardens a diversity that was sorely lacking in the palace hallways and helped me find my way. I was right; in the second garden I found a servant on the way to one of the wings and politely asked him to go to the kitchens and spread the word that Byakko no Miko was finally recovering (at which he nearly jumped for joy, they all liked her as well) and if he could get some broth and rice for her to eat. He was only too glad to help and even hugged me in joy at hearing that Suzuno was getting better, then raced off to the kitchens. I was left blinking in his wake.   
When I recovered somewhat I continued to the barracks, dodging some groups of nobles out walking. I hadn't had much contact with the upper classes yet and I wanted to avoid it for as long as I could. Women and some men could be catty, and seishi or not I knew I'd receive derisive remarks on my clothing. And I was unpredictable enough these days that if someone started teasing me I just might hurt them. I didn't want to risk getting on the emperor's bad side.   
I also dodged the occupants of the barracks as I burst through the ones lounging outside the building. Some of them grabbed for me and others yelled after me what the hell did I think I was doing, but I willed myself not to overreact and instead lit my seishi symbol. After that the men still gawked and stared and called but none contested my reasons for being there.   
Until I literally ran into one of the officers. We both fell down in a tangled heap, and I could feel my panic rising as some of the men, who _were_ just trying to be helpful, tried to reach down and help me up, but I forced myself to remain in control again, swallowing my scream. I pushed their hands out of the way and climbed to my feet on my own, the officer doing the same and looking down at me in irritation bordering on anger. I shrank back, unable to completely squash my fear, as he inspected me, and seemed to take more than a casual interest in my symbol, which was easily exposed. "So," he said after a moment, "seishi, are you?"   
I nodded and quickly spoke before he could ask any other questions. "If you please, I need to see Yujiro-san."   
"The Kutou one, eh?"   
I nodded, determinedly ignoring the catcalls and whistles and some pervert calling out "you don't need the traitor, you've got me!", wishing they would all just _leave me alone!_ "Yes, now. Where is he?"   
"Subaru?" Yujiro fought his way through the men gathered at my back, looking extremely confused. "Why are you here?"   
I grabbed his wrist and started pulling him through the crowd, again ignoring the inappropriate comments that were flying everywhere. "Come on!"   
We fell through the door and I began racing back in the direction of our rooms, Yujiro hot on my heels. "Where are we going?!" he yelled.   
"To Suzuno! She's awake! She's better!"   
The blur that was Yujiro sped past me.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"Of course now that Suzuno is well again we have to do something definitely important, Subaru."   
I watched Karasuki confusedly, not understanding a word she was saying. "What? What do you mean?"   
"Do not tell me that you have not noticed how Tatara looks at her," she said, pacing around the table in her room. "And her regards to him."   
"Everyone has, but everyone knows they're too chicken to do anything about it themselves." Maybe it was just my day for confusion.   
"That is just my point." She stopped pacing to give me a significant look. "Now I do not know how you are going to be happy again, but we can at least help these two to be happy together."   
I winced and hung my head at her comment about my emotional state. The soldiers' actions had had more effect than I had realized; after Yujiro and I had arrived at Suzuno's, I'd had to go in my room and lock the door for a long time until I recovered. "What do you want to do?" I asked quietly.   
"If you will help me, I might perhaps have a plan…"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"Tatara?" I tentatively stuck my head through his now-unlocked doorway. After dinner Tokaki had literally picked up the older man, carried him to his room, and locked the door, trying to force him to get some sleep and convince him that we could look after Suzuno fine on our own. "Are you awake?"   
"Yes, what is it?"   
"Well…" I did my best to appear anxious and depressed, which wasn't hard, considering how I was close to that anyway. "Suzuno's not doing too good…"   
I had to jump aside so I didn't get flattened as he sped out the door. Then I had to run at top speed to not lose him.   
Just as we had planned, Suzuno's door was wide open. Tatara raced in (I swear I didn't know that man could move so fast) and was by Suzuno's bed before I'd set one foot through the door. "Suzuno? Are you okay?" He was genuinely concerned, brushing back the few bangs from her forehead so he could press his hand to her skin. "You don't feel as hot as you did…"   
"Tatara? What are you doing?" Suzuno sat up, confusion in her voice. "I don't feel any worse than I did before, what do you mean?"   
"What? Subaru said you weren't doing well."   
SLAM.   
It had all gone neatly according to plan. Karasuki, having picked up on the closeness between Tatara and me, had delegated to me the task of fetching him, while she got Suzuno settled down and stood watch. Then when he'd gotten there, when we were sure he wouldn't be going anywhere for awhile, we slammed the door, locking it from the outside. Two fish, easily caught in our net.   
"Ne! What's going on Subaru?!" Tatara yelled, not angry but definitely annoyed. "What trick is this?!"   
"It is no trick, it is a plan," Karasuki called in a sing-song tone. It wasn't that late, meaning no one had gone to bed, and I could see Tokaki sticking his head out of his room at all the noise. "We are holding the two of you hostage until you willingly admit your regard for one another. Only then will we unlock this door."   
"Damnit!"   
"What're you two doing?" Kokie queried, coming up with his sister running after him.   
"Nothing you can say will make us open this door!"   
Inoue's eyes lit up and she bounced on the balls of her feet as she realized what we were up to. "Ooooooooh, they're making Suzuno-sama and Tatara-sama confess their love for each other at last!"   
It had to be pretty apparent early on for even Inoue to see.   
"Are you really, Karasuki?" Toroki asked, keeping one hand on the wall as he walked up to us. I put out a hand and stopped him before he could run into me. "Good, maybe he won't be moping about so much."   
Yujiro and Tokaki nearly fell out of Tokaki's room in their rush to beat each other to the gathering.   
I couldn't help being amused; it was the first really fun thing we'd done in nearly a month. Hell, it was the first thing we'd done together since we got back. And if it worked, some of the gloom and despair that had hung over us for that time might be taken away.   
"Ne, how do we know if they did or not?" Kokie suddenly asked.   
Karasuki and I looked at each other, perplexed. We'd forgotten about that one little detail: how were we to know?   
Suddenly, Toroki cleared his throat a couple of times. "You might not want to take my advice…" I peeked quickly at the hem of his shirt and caught a bit of white light spilling out. "But I think it's safe to say that if you open the door now neither one of them will try to run out."   
"What the hell does _that_ mean?" Tokaki asked, exasperated.   
Karasuki and I looked at each other again and shrugged. Why not? We could always stop Tatara if he wanted to kill us. We cautiously undid the lock and opened the door, peering around it.   
My mouth dropped open and Karasuki hurriedly smothered a giggle. I doubted Tatara or Suzuno would have noticed the giggle though, as they were very involved with… other things. They were both sitting on the bed, very close to each other, joined at the lips in what might have been the sweetest kiss I've ever seen, their arms wrapped about each other and their eyes closed. They looked so incredibly happy.   
Kokie clapped his hand over Tokaki's mouth before he could burst out in exclamations. Yujiro did that service for himself and helped Kokie drag the protesting, cursing seishi back down the veranda and into his room. Inoue squealed quietly with delight and clapped softly when she caught a glimpse, and Toroki put a hand on her shoulder, smiling widely. Neither Tatara nor Suzuno looked our way at all the noise, continuing their kiss as if nothing in the world existed except them. Karasuki quietly shut the door and turned to me.   
"We did a good thing," she said softly, winking. I had to smile back, at which her face positively lit up. She quickly hugged me and skipped off to her room, starting to whistle.   
I smiled at Inoue and Toroki, both of whom smiled back and hugged me as well, happy that I could appear happy. Then I quietly said goodnight to them and retreated to my own room.   
When I got there I lowered myself into one of the chairs placed around the table, suddenly exhausted, folding my arms on the top and laying my head on them. I was glad Suzuno and Tatara had finally found each other, I really was, but the image of them kissing kept coming back to me, and I couldn't help thinking that they didn't need anyone else now… especially not me.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The next day was slightly overcast, and when I woke up I could feel the cold more forcefully than ever before. I remained huddled under my blankets until the maid (one I didn't know) brought my breakfast in and set it on my table, exiting without saying anything and most likely thinking I was still asleep. Rolling over and looking at the solitary portions of food, the tray sitting alone atop the vast expanse of polished wood, brought to the surface those feelings of loneliness that had appeared in me the night before. It was as if the fact that I was dining alone meant they didn't want me anymore…   
"Don't be silly," I told myself, "they're you're friends, they wouldn't cast you aside." But I wasn't as confident as I sounded.   
I shook my head, hoping to rid it of all those unpleasant thoughts, and focused on getting dressed. The revealing tops no longer bothered me, which was probably the one good thing that had come out of it all. Then I sat down to breakfast, trying to decide what to do after I finished. My success in the library the day before had, even though I wanted to read more and find out as much as I could, put the idea of giving myself a reward of a day off from research in my head.   
I wasn't sure if Suzuno would be awake enough to talk, or if she would even be awake, or if Tatara would let anyone in the door, so I scratched that option. Yujiro would be back in the barracks, Kokie would be gone, Inoue would be working, I had no idea what Tokaki would do, and I didn't want Toroki shooting at me. Scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch. I finally decided to spend the morning among the plants Tatara loved so much, staying in the garden and trying to enjoy the flowers in their last moments of life, watching the leaves fall from the branches. It sounded incredibly peaceful, something I'd been missing for a long time.   
I straightened my room out of habit and exited, closing the door quietly behind me out of courtesy to anyone still sleeping. I turned around to catch my first glimpse of the garden, and noticed Tokaki heading in the direction of the nearest gate.   
"Odd," I remarked to myself. "Where's he going?" I didn't notice the fact that I was talking to myself, something that usually indicated insanity, and on the spur of the moment decided to follow him. I scrambled down the stairs and across the yard after he vanished through the tiny gate, wanting to see where he was going but perversely wishing to remain hidden.   
The guards at that gate knew all the seishi, so as I went by they simply nodded and gave me a friendly hello, letting me pass without questions. I nodded back at them, looking around for Tokaki, and was rewarded with a sight of him disappearing down an alley to my right. I hurriedly ran after him, dodging a person or two, determined not to lose him.   
The trip through the city sort of reminded me of when Inoue had taken me to her family's house, but Tokaki deliberately avoided the market areas and thus most of the crowds. It was early in the day for shoppers and merchants anyway, so even the flow of people normally headed in that direction was the merest trickle. He walked for half an hour, taking strange turns, completely at ease, not aware he was being followed. I just kept up, curious at where he was going.   
Suddenly he made a sharp left into a small alley, and when I got there I couldn't see him. Confused, I went down the alley, then noticed it wasn't a dead-end like I thought, but there was a rather tight corner at the end barely wide enough for a man to get through sideways. I turned and slipped between the bricks with little trouble, then peered around the next corner into the street.   
Tokaki stood across the way in front of a building that looked like a house with no wall around it, as most homes including my own had, but still claimed a wide dirt courtyard in the front. He just stood there, barely off the street and out of the way of the nonexistent traffic, hands on his hips, his head tilted back to grin at the building. Shafts of the early morning light seemed to catch in his hair and turn it to gold, and I barely muffled a gasp. Byakko, he looked…   
_Perfect_.   
Suddenly the still morning air was split with the joyful shouts of young voices, and two, three, four, _five_ children flew out of the doorway and hurled themselves at Tokaki, who laughed and fell over under the onslaught, starting to wrestle with them. The three boys and two girls were overjoyed to see him.   
"Lanva-sama! Lanva-sama!" Their delighted cries and squealing laughter as he tickled them made the occasional passerby smile, but for some reason my heart dropped through the ground. I made sure I was well hidden. "You're back again!"   
"GAHHH!" he roared, making one of the girls shriek with delight and jump back. He surged to his feet, the smallest boy hanging on his left arm and the other girl held under his right, both giggling madly. "Get off me you little monsters!" He clearly didn't mean it from the affectionate grin on his face and the tone in his voice. The children happily obeyed, gathering in a group around him, the boy letting go of his arm but the girl refusing to be put down and instead swinging herself around so she could clutch around his neck, her legs about his waist. "Now, where is she?"   
"Having breakfast!" the oldest boy immediately answered. I noticed his hair was cut in the same style as Tokaki's. Was Tokaki his role model? Well, he could find worse ones, but I hoped he didn't pick up certain other things from him.   
"Then let's go in." The children chatting excitedly around him and still carrying the little girl, Tokaki climbed the three steps to the small veranda and went in the front door.   
As I heard it shut I felt myself wobble and leaned my body against the bricks warming in the sun, unable to support myself. I barely heeded the tears that were starting to cascade from my eyes and spill over my cheeks, falling into the dirt at my feet. He'd been so _happy_. I hadn't seen him that happy since Suzuno and I had emerged from the prison with Toroki and Kokie, before he'd known the truth about what happened. I'd taken that away from him, that happiness and that ability to be happy. The picture of Tatara and Suzuno kissing appeared in my mind, and I knew that until then neither of them had truly been happy since they'd found out, either. I was doing it. I was the one causing them this grief. It was all my fault, all mine, all mine…   
I didn't even realize what I was doing until my mind awoke me to the fact that I was halfway to the palace, running as if my life depended upon it, dodging people automatically, almost blinded by the tears. It was my fault, all my fault, I was such a burden to them, they'd be better off without me…   
And then I was at the gate and speeding through, surprising the unsuspecting guards something awful, then running across the grounds and to my safe room. I tripped on something and fell forward to land on the grass, and I just stayed there, crying myself out. It was just too much to bear.   
When I ran out of tears I looked up at the guest wing, seeing the windows and doors of our rooms standing solidly in front of me, and I took a little courage from their stability. I picked myself up and brushed off my clothes, walking slowly to the steps and wiping at my eyes, determined to get myself under control again. Then my eyes lit on the one closed door in our row: Toroki's. My feet turned that way and the rest of my body followed. He would, of all my friends, he would… I knocked.   
"Please do not disturb me Subaru," he said plainly through the door. His voice had that far off, creepy quality it acquired when he was using the full extent of his powers. Right then it sounded twice as ominous.   
"Wh…What are you doing?" My voice wavered, but Toroki didn't notice. With his higher powers going full-force as they were, he couldn't feel people's auras.   
"I am trying to find Amefuri, and I need privacy. Please go away." He was polite but so distant, so… angry… I turned and fled.   
As I passed by Suzuno's room I heard her voice drift out on the slight breeze. "…love you, Tatara. I don't need anything else but you…"   
I stuffed my fist in my mouth to prevent a sob and ran into my room, closing and locking the door. I threw myself on my bed and just lay there crying.   
  


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In the dark I put my head out of the door and looked around. There was one light I could see, but it was far away in another wing where no one would see me. The stars were bright in the black sky and the wind that swept through the garden, making the leaves dance in circles, was almost bitterly cold. I pulled the thick travelling robe tighter around me and made sure the bag was secure over my shoulder. Then I stepped out into the biting wind and closed the door.   
I traveled quickly and silently around the outside of the buildings, skirting inhabited areas, until I came to the stables. The stable boys were all asleep in the loft, so I was able to go to Sora's stall unhindered. After more than two weeks of rest she was perfectly ready for a long ride. I put on her tack myself, thinking that me learning how was one blessing of our trip, and led her out. I mounted, and she began trotting to the gate.   
When we were still out of sight around a building I raised my arms over my head, my symbol glowing dully. "Time stop," I said quietly, bringing them down quickly. Everything froze except Sora and I, even the wind. The air around me once again seemed to die; sounds were hollow, dull, lifeless. We walked up to the gate, where I cast a look at the Stopped guards, then dismounted to open the doors. The creak they emitted was as dull as the thud of Sora's hooves on the grass. I led her through, then closed them and mounted again, anxious to be away. Two streets down I paused to quickly reverse the spell, and was infinitely glad when the world came to life again. My mind drifted back to the paper I'd left on my bed, where someone, most likely Inoue, would find it in the morning. It had hurt so much to leave it, but I knew I was doing them a service.   
_Everyone-   
I'm causing you too much pain. I don't want to be a burden to anyone, so I'm going away. You are the nicest people I can possibly imagine and I don't want to trouble anyone further with my stupid problems. I'll come back when Amefuri is found, I promise. Maybe then I'll be the person I was again.   
Tamure Doulin, Subaru_   



	20. Chapter 19: Unexpected Reunions

  
DISCLAIMER: FY is owned by lucky-ducks. I am not a lucky-duck. I am not even a lucky-goose.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: My author's notes are getting to be novels in and of themselves! ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; But I like communicating with you all (Hey, if ya wanna e-mail me, go ahead! I usually reply, although it might take me awhile) and answering your questions. Well, time for round 3!   
First! Everyone's wondering when it's gonna get happy again ^^ It starts this chapter. Satisfied? ~grins~ Just read to see what I mean. The jokes start coming back, and a character shows up that's just so easy to make fun of... Even though he's a nice guy...   
However, I will not say anything else about the plot in this chapter, because I'm evil like that ^_____^ People are asking if she'll be the one to find Amefuri, if anyone's gonna go after her, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?!?!?!?! I can _completely_ sympathize, I always wanna know what's gonna happen next in my favorite stories! Trust me, you'll find out, and not too far into the future ^_^   
~gives Blue-jay a box of Kleenex left over from Banquet as repayment while she's at it~   
J. Liha, I've already said it, but that sentence just made my week ^__________^ Ne, wanna start a Tokaki stalkers support group?!   
Omni-chan, how many times do you ask the right questions? You're really good at that! No, that was not Tokaki's family. (I don't really expect anyone to remember this, but he's mentioned his family before - and it only consists of him, his mother, and a younger brother. It was back in chapter 5, a WHILE ago --;;;) If ya stick around long enough you'll find out about all of that scene in chapter 18 - yeah, I have definite plans for it. I wanted to work it in pretty soon after that, but I kept having to shift around the plot to make things work better, and it keeps getting pushed back and pushed back and pushed back. And even where I am right now, almost 8 pages into 24, I'm still probably 2-3 chapters from getting to it. ~whimpers~ I waaaaaanna get to it, I wanna get to that entire _chapter_, that's gonna be one of my favorites to write I already know... Oh, Omni-chan, how'd the job hunt go? Feel any better now?   
(Speaking of 24, I'm still stuck --;;;; Actually, I got about a page more on there, but it's just one of those "dead" times when nothing will come out right. I wanna get to the good stuff, but I gotta get past where I am now first. Bleehhhhhhhhhhh...) ((_Note added two-three days after that last one: I finished 24! YEAH! EXCITING STUFF AGAIN! NO MORE WRITER'S BLOCK!_))   
~grins~ Skittles, how many things have you threatened me with so far? Evil hampsters, evil elves... You're as bad as Ara-chan! And that takes talent!   
NOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOORE SCHOOOOOOOOOOL! Thanks everyone who wished me luck on finals, I got a 100 in Calc (on the final) without studying! ^_____^   
~grins~ And I'm sorry peeps, but the updates are not gonna get any quicker.   
  


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Two emotions were battling in me when I reached the gate to my family's home two days later: relief so great it made me want to cry, and fear and nerves so large they made me want to turn and bolt. How could I have been so stupid? They'd never take me back. My father's pride was famous - or infamous - in our town, and I saw no reason why he would bend it, even for one of his children. _Especially_ one who had disobeyed his direct command, and had done it several times before. My independent streak might have finally proved my undoing.   
But where else could I go? To one of my friends, maybe, but I wouldn't be able to hide what had happened from them, they were all very sharp. Plus most of them were married now, some even had children. I couldn't be a burden on anyone else, and I couldn't face my past. There was simply no other option.   
I slowly dismounted, swinging my leg over Sora's back and sliding to the ground, the hand gripping the reins trembling beyond my ability to control it. My entire body was shaking, and I leaned against Sora for support. She was a smart horse; she seemed to sense my distinct unease and turned to rub her nose against my arm, trying to comfort me. I scratched her where she liked it, between her ears, and gathered my courage.   
It was still fairly early, and the sun had yet to rise much. All around me the town seemed to be sleeping, and the creak I got when I pushed open the gate sounded ten times as loud as normal. I quickly led Sora through and closed it, wincing at another creak, and led her around to the small stable in back. I got her situated, gave her some feed and water, then gave her long nose one last rub before heading up to the house.   
I thanked Byakko that no one was lurking around the back entrance, given my family's tendency to rise early, and slipped in unobserved. I again thanked him when the boards of the floor didn't emit any noises. I didn't know why I was so reluctant to face my family, I just knew I wanted more time.   
However, Byakko must have quite a twisted sense of humor. As I turned onto the hall where my room was located there came a gasp behind me. A very familiar gasp. I dreaded turning around, but I steeled my nerves, knowing I had to do this at some point, and slowly rotated in the sound's direction.   
"D…Dou…Doulin-chan?"   
It was my mother. My wonderful, sweet, naïve mother. In that second I saw just how sheltered she was, just how sheltered _I_ had been until I'd had to leave, how we had both been unwilling to face the real problems of the world until I'd left. She was still innocent and trusting, whereas I had lost all illusions about life and the kindness of people.   
But that didn't matter. I lost all control of my body and it ran towards her, collapsing against her, hugging her tightly, crying uncontrollably. She also lost it, hugging me as if she'd never let me go, weeping into my shoulder, stroking my hair. We sank to the floor in a heap, unable to support ourselves, and just sat there in the hallway, crying from relief.   
  


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"Why are you here?" Kaa-san was treating me as a guest, pouring the tea herself, serving some of her nicest food, not letting me do anything. "Has Byakko been called?"   
"No…" This was the point I'd been dreading. Once we'd gotten enough emotion out to be able to stand up Kaa-san had led me to the kitchen and made me sit down, doing everything herself. She hadn't asked before that, hadn't asked me anything, merely talking about how happy Masame would be to see me while she worked. I wanted to keep putting this question off forever, but I couldn't. "I couldn't stay any longer."   
Her eyebrows raised in shock and surprise, and I suddenly realized where I got that trait. "Why not? Were they unkind to you?"   
"No! No, everyone… everyone's wonderful. They're some of the best people I can think of. We're all like… siblings, almost."   
"Then Doulin-chan, why?" I was having trouble responding to my own name. For a long time I'd gone by only "Subaru" and had gotten used to responding to that. It would plainly take some work to get back to normal. Kaa-san sat down next to me, putting a hand on my arm. "You were so adamant about going… Why did you come back?"   
"I…" Byakko, how could this be so _hard?_ "I didn't want to be a burden on them any more."   
"A burden?"   
I nodded, then slowly began to tell the story, from the beginning. Arriving at the palace, meeting Tatara, Suzuno, and Heika-sama, going to look for Toroki, finding him and the circumstances we found him in. And then about my powers, and Inoue, and meeting her family and finding Kokie, and going back to discover Suzuno was gone. Everything that happened as a result, with us setting off, Kokie deciding to come, the fights… I edited out most of my interaction with Tokaki, including the entire drunk episode, but told about Gidayu. She was happy to hear about him, hear that he was doing well and he had helped us. But then about being captured… she gasped and started to ask if I was all right, but I cut her off, knowing if she stopped me I'd never finish. It got harder to speak as I told about meeting Taheiji, and being tied up and locked in a cell, seeing Suzuno again. About lying to them and my reasons for that, and then… then…   
My voice stuck and I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry, not to cry, don't be a baby and cry. Didn't I want to get better? Then I couldn't cry.   
"Doulin-chan?" Kaa-san asked softly. "What happened next?"   
"Then… that talkative guard came back after I fixed myself and took me out again… and he… he brought me to this little room… no one was around… but Taheiji was there… and he… he… and the guard…" I couldn't say it. I couldn't even look at her.   
There was a slow intake of breath to my side. I could almost see her eyes widening in horror. Naïve my mother might be, but she knew as well as I did what word came next. "Gods above… did they…?" I nodded silently, swiping at my tears with the back of my hand. "Oh Doulin-chan…" He arms enfolded again, bringing my head down to rest on her shoulder, letting me cry again. It bizarrely struck me that I was taller than my own mother… and that seemed wrong, somehow. "Doulin-chan…"   
I pushed away and rubbed at my eyes, determined to finish up now that the really hard part was over. "I… I fixed myself, though, with my powers… but still… and then the others got us out, and we found Karasuki because she helped, but I keep… I keep having these reactions, and I'm such a burden to them, and Suzuno got desperately sick and I couldn't help, and they're better off without me there to cause trouble."   
"Don't you say that." A hand was placed on either side of my face and my head was turned to face her. She looked worried, hurt, concerned, sad… everything. "Don't say that. Of course they need you. You're a Byakko no shichiseishi. But it sounds like you all are such close friends that something like this is going to make them collapse. You're hurting them more by running away."   
"I… I'm going back," I said quietly. "After… after they find Amefuri. Suzuno should be ready to travel in a day or two, four at the most, and when she's recovered they'll go out and search for him… or her. I'll go back when they have…"   
"But how are you going to know when that is, dear? How?" She was quiet, but there was so much emotion packed in her voice… "You can't know. Oh, my dear… Sometimes you think too much of what other people think. They wouldn't have wanted you to run. They would have wanted to help you, but since you thought you'd be one more weight to deal with you didn't ask for their help." Her words weren't angry, but sad, almost as if she knew what I was going through. "Oh, Subaru-chan…"   
"Don't… Please don't call me that."   
Kaa-san looked straight at me, quietly and seriously. "I will. I will call you that, because that's who you are… You are Doulin, but you're also Subaru. You need to be both, and you need to learn to live as both… Running away from Subaru to be Doulin again isn't going to make the pain go away. You have to do it yourself."   
"Kaa-san…"   
"Don't 'Kaa-san' me, you know I'm right." She sighed deeply. "I won't make you go back, you're an adult and can figure out when to return for yourself… But you better help me try and figure out what to tell your father, he won't be too pleased."   
I winced. _That_ was going to be one unpleasant reunion… "How's he taking this?"   
She made a tiny grimace. From that one expression I knew. "He's your father dear… I love him, and you love him, but we both know what he can be like. You take after him, after all." She gave me a small smile, which I felt myself returning. "I know deep down he regrets leaving things on such bad terms when you left, but he's too stubborn to admit that aloud…"   
"That's Dou-san all right…" I sighed. I'd just have to take it when it came. "Do you want some help making breakfast?"   
"No, you stay there, I'm perfectly-"   
"NEE-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"   
Something loud, fast, and out of control slammed into me, knocking me head over heels and making us roll into the wall. My breath was knocked entirely out of me and as I struggled to get it back I felt myself being cut almost in two.   
"Nee-chan nee-chan nee-chan nee-chan nee-chan! You're back! What are you doing here?! You're back!"   
I gasped for breath; Masame had wound herself pretty firmly around my waist, making it impossible for me to breathe deeply. "Need… air…"   
"Oh! Sorry!" She couldn't stop bouncing with joy even as I sat up, dazed and checking to see if she'd broken any of my ribs. "I can't believe you're back it's been so quiet here without you and I missed you so much and why are you back and did you bring Tokaki-san and how long are you staying and are you and Tokaki-san married-"   
"_WHAT?!_"   
"I guess you're not then." She smiled brightly at me and threw herself at me again, but this time, being a bit more prepared, I caught her and hugged her back. It was rather mechanical as I was still flattened by her not-quite-a-question about Tokaki and me. _Where in hell did she get that idea?!_ "I'm so glad you're back! Now everyone'll _have_ to believe me, once you show them your symbol!"   
"Uh…"   
"Masa-chan, calm down and let your sister get her wits back." Kaa-san smiled at me over Masame's head, to which I responded with a very grateful look of complete thanks. Masame nodded and slid to the ground (I'd been literally holding her off the floor) and skipped over to get out a pan. I was busy mouthing "thank you thank you thank you" at my mother when she suddenly frowned.   
"Doulin-chan, what happened to your clothes? Those aren't the ones you left with…"   
I glanced down and immediately went completely red; I'd forgotten all about the rather drastic neckline. I suppose it was good that I was now so used to it I forgot it, but when facing my mother… it's times like those you regret decisions like mine. "Ah, well… it's, um, kind of complicated…" I pointed at Masame and then at the door, hoping my mother would pick up the hint and ask her to leave. I didn't want my sister knowing what happened if I could help it, it would hurt her too much.   
Kaa-san gave me a blank look for a minute, but then understanding broke over her face and she nodded. "Masame? Could you go find your father please?"   
"Hai!" She cheerfully skipped out of the room, having not noticed a thing.   
I blanched. "Kaa-san!"   
"You'll have to face him at some point. Now, why that?" She pointed directly at my chest on "that".   
"It…" I took a deep breath, willing my voice not to shake and praying she would understand. "It was the only way I could… wear my clothes again. The clothes I took weren't good for seishi stuff, like riding or fighting, so the emperor gave me new ones the first day I was there… They came up to here," I added quickly, seeing her start to frown again, presumably at the thought that the _emperor_ would promote dressing the way I was, and held up my hand to just below my collarbone - a perfectly respectable height. "But… but after… My clothes got… ripped, I… I couldn't wear them, or I'd have horrible memories, and so I did this to make them different… And i-it worked," I hastened to affirm, "I can wear them again…"   
"Oh, Doulin-chan-"   
"What's all the commotion for? What's going on?" My father's voice came down the hallway, sounding tired and a bit disgruntled. But what he'd sound like if he saw me… I ran and hid behind the table. My mother threw me an exasperated look, but quickly fixed a cheery smile on her face when Dou-san stepped in the room, yawning. "What's Masame so excited for?"   
I sent a silent thank you to Masa-chan for not telling Dou-san what happened.   
"Well dear, we have a surprise for you."   
"What surprise is so important that Masame had to drag me out of bed?"   
"I've just gotten word that Doulin is coming back to visit in two days!"   
Silence.   
"Dear?"   
"In two days, you say?"   
"Yes. What do you think of that?"   
"I… What do I think? What… what do you expect me to think?" Dou-san leaned against the counter, staring straight down at it, not even focusing on the wood in front of his face. "What the hell do you expect me to think? She ran away even after I told her not to, she deliberately disobeyed me-"   
"She had to, you know that. You were being unreasonable." Kaa-san's voice was forceful but not hard. "It's her destiny to do this, and not you nor I nor even Masa-chan can stop that." She smiled. "She's _your_ daughter. Both of you are so stubborn."   
"I am NOT stubborn!"   
"See? There you are. Now stop acting proud and admit that you want her to come back. I know you do. Even Masame can tell."   
He remained silent once again.   
Kaa-san tapped him on the shoulder.   
"ALL RIGHT!" he exploded. "All right, damnit! I want her to come back, okay? Things aren't right with her gone!"   
"Good," Kaa-san replied calmly, very used to his sudden blow-ups. "Now tell her that yourself. Doulin, stand up."   
I stood, slowly and shakily, cringing a bit. What would he do?   
Dou-san was staring at me with wide eyes, shocked beyond comprehension. His mouth opened and closed once, twice, then he turned to my mother, still stunned.   
"Why'd you make me look like a fool?!"   
In the end everything worked out. Dou-san gave me a gruff hello, not really meeting my eyes, which was a lot better than I'd hoped for. But after Kaa-san had gotten that confession out of him, there was really little else he could do. We called Masame in and the four of us set about to make a family breakfast, my first in months. Only Masame and my mother really talked much, but it was much more comfortable than any meal I'd had in the palace for a long time.   
My room hadn't changed a bit. Everything was exactly the way I'd left it on that day so long ago, the blankets on the bed rumpled the same way, the same drawer in my chest of drawers still just a bit open, the things I'd bought in the market still scattered over my bed and the floor. Everything was a bit dusty as well; it was almost like my room was a sacred place that they were all afraid to disturb. I could understand; we'd done the same thing with Bokkai's room. The room was exactly the same as when we'd heard he'd died, we hadn't had the bravery to go into it after the news. But it gave me the creeps, that they regarded me as _that_ lost, as if I was never coming back.   
The first thing I did was give that place a thorough cleaning, with Masame's help. We swept out the dust, washed the blankets, and put away the clothes I'd brought from the palace with me in the drawers. The ancient shopping finally got put away where every thing needed to go, in various rooms in the house. The windows were opened to let in the light. I heaved a sigh of relief when it began to feel like _my_ room again.   
When we were almost done Dou-san came into the room, looking somewhat uncomfortable. I mentally steeled myself and waited for anything. "I have a request to make of you."   
His oddly formal tone puzzled me. He'd yelled at me before, thrown things (so had I), been polite, been kind, everything under the rainbow - except oddly formal. Was I really that different? "What is it?"   
"You wouldn't have heard, up there-" "up there" was his term for the capital "-but I lost my assistant at the shop. He was recruited. So I was wondering if you would fill in until I find another one, or you go back."   
Why would he be so uncomfortable asking that? I'd done it before, several times. "I guess I could… sure."   
He nodded, still stony-faced. "Thank you." He left quickly.   
Masame stared after him in confusion. "What's wrong with him?"   
  


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So that was how, two days later, I found myself standing in our family shop with a bunch of keys in one hand and a cleaning rag in the other. Dou-san was almost a merchant, except he stayed put: the others came to him. He was very successful at it, too, and almost every day was out inspecting a new shipment for potential trade opportunities or "making friends" with other merchants, always on the prowl for a good contract or trade agreement.   
One of the things that made him so good was the fact that the glass crafters trusted him. With as much sand as Sairou had, glassmaking was almost a necessary skill, and few of the artisans were willing to put their wares in the hands of most merchants, men who usually didn't care if the things broke or not as they weren't making a profit off it. But Dou-san also ran a shop from which he sold a lot of their things, and since he had a cut in it as well he treated every piece like a precious heirloom. Our family definitely wasn't lacking for money.   
The assistant was almost busier than my father. They were the one who stayed in the shop, handing customers, setting out wares, keeping everything clean, and making sales. Our little shop was well known around town, a popular place to see and be seen, although most of that happened outside the doors. It was almost a delightful challenge to see how far I could stretch myself before I broke; I seemed to delight in keeping busy. I braced myself for the day's rush by squaring my shoulders, then began wiping the dust off a shelf, sliding the keys into my pocket. They were the keys for the front door, the back room, the back entrance, and the other storeroom - and they were _heavy_.   
It started off slowly enough, just two women who came in and looked around for a long time then left without buying anything. But after them came a thirteen-year-old boy whom I'd known for a long time, then a young girl, then another boy. None of them left, just remained lurking in the back, talking to each other in whispers. I was considering chasing them out (I had nothing against them, but Dou-san would worry they'd break something) when the girl came up, obviously nervous. It was one of Masame's friends, a girl about a year older than her, slightly taller, with long, pale blue hair. "Umm… excuse me, Doulin-san, but… can I ask you a question?"   
"Um… sure, go ahead." I glanced at the boys; all three seemed very eager to hear my response to whatever the girl would ask.   
"Um… uh… er… A-Are you a… a seishi?"   
I blinked in surprise, wondering _how_ they could have known… then I remembered, before I left Masame had been going on about bragging that _she_ had a seishi for a sister… Looked like she'd done it, too. "Yes, I am."   
The girl's eyes widened so much I was seriously worried they'd fall out of her head. "You _are?!_ Ne, ne!" she called, turning around and waving to the two boys frantically. "She said she is!"   
"No way!" the older boy cried, rushing forward at breakneck speed, the other boy close on his heels. I watched in fright as they came _that close_ to knocking over much of Dou-san's precious glass. "You're really a seishi?!"   
I nodded. "I am, but _please_ try not to break anythi-"   
Too late.   
The younger boy, entirely on accident, stumbled and fell against one of the shelves. He managed to grab the edge of the shelf before he fell to the floor, saving everything in his path, but as he flailed his hand hit a small statue of a girl and knocked it off… we other three stared in horror as it fell to the ground, the head being snapped completely off the body. It was a miracle it hadn't completely shattered, as I'd seen things do, but it was still ruined.   
The boy pulled himself to his feet, glanced at us, then looked where we were all staring - and broke into tears. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!"   
I hurried over after I snapped out of my shock, hopping neatly over the broken glass, and knelt next to him, giving him a firm hug. "It's all right, it was an accident… Watch, I might be able to make it better again."   
"Y-You will?" He looked up at me, sniffing. "How?"  
  
"Just watch." I just hoped it would work on statues as well as it did on people. I took a moment, to think about the wording, then carefully picked up the broken glass to avoid being cut to ribbons. "Time turn back on this statue to this point of yesterday." It might not have been _precisely_ the use Byakko intended for my powers, but it would calm him down.   
The white light lit up the shop, dazzling in each and every piece of glasswork, turning them all into miniature stars. It reflected off the silver we had against one wall, the mirrors hanging on another, and lit up the exports we received from Hokkan and Konan - the colored wall hangings, wood carvings, things I doubted I would find in any ordinary shop. But no one's attention was focused on those things: the three children were staring at me, and I was willing the statue in my hands to go back together like I'd asked it to. And, to my surprise, it did.   
I didn't let my shock show, though, and smiled as I handed the statue to the boy. "There. It's better now."   
"Wow…" he breathed, turning it over in his hands. Then he looked up at me in awe, worship, and determination. "When I grow up I'm gonna be a seishi!"   
I smiled again, though not as happily as a moment before. Such an innocent wish… he had no idea what we went through, all of us. I was determined to let him down easily. "Well, I doubt that could happen, because we've already been chosen." I tapped him on the nose. "Legend says seven and only seven, and we already know most of 'em."   
"You _do?_" the girl asked. "You really do?!"   
I nodded, then gently reclaimed the statue from the small boy, giving him a wink. "I'll tell you what. We ever need a replacement, I'll send for you. 'kay?"   
He grinned happily. "'kay!"   
"Now," I said, setting the statue back on the shelf, "you all'd probably better be getting back to your parents, you've been here awhile."   
"Oh, they never notice we're gone," the older boy commented derisively. "They're always haggling over fruits or comparing cloth or things like that. It's so _boring_. I don't know why she drags me along." He made an expressive face. "Boring as being forced to study things you can't understand."   
"Then maybe you should go home instead. You can find something to destroy there." I heard the door open again but didn't look in that direction. "Now get going, I've got to go see if this person wants something."   
They took off, waving good bye over their shoulders as they scampered out the door. I smiled after them, then turned to face my new customer. "May I hel…"   
I could barely suppress a groan of irritation when I saw who had come in: Noburo.   
  


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"For the LAST time I will not!"   
"But Doulin, please…"   
"NO! N-O!"   
"But-"   
"Do you want me to throw this at you?!"   
It wasn't a fun conversation. Noburo was the son of an associate of Dou-san's, and I'd known him since he was about twelve and I was about eleven. I'd never _not_ liked him, he was always just this other person I sort of knew, like a lot of people I met through my father's business dealings. Until, that is, the day when I was sixteen and Dou-san had come home to say that he'd arranged a match for me.   
With Noburo.   
That announcement had produced the most legendary fight in all of Tamure history, the one that made the neighbors' houses quake in fear and destroyed a good bit of the breakables in reach. The short of it to me was I wasn't going to marry him whether Dou-san wanted me to or not. The short of it to my father was I would whether I wanted to or not. I'd ended the fight by running out of the house and refusing to come home for three days, staying at my best friend's.   
Noburo, surprisingly, had come to my rescue and managed to persuade my father to not make me go through with it unless I agreed, but any gratitude I felt toward him for that action was almost immediately canceled out by Noburo himself. It seemed he really _was_ serious about me, and was determined to make me fall in love with him. It would have been sweet, if he hadn't been so… incessant.   
"Anyone else would have gotten it by now! It's been almost a year! I. Don't. Want. To. Marry. You."   
I glared at the face in front of me: smooth, tanned, and not unhandsome, with a well-shaped mouth under a slightly-too-large nose. His almost lavender eyes were framed by a short cut but untidy shock of light red hair. He was very terrible at hiding his emotions, and at that moment he looked hurt. "But Doulin-chan, I love you."   
"Well I don't love you," I snapped at him. Then I sighed. "I don't _hate_ you, but I don't love you. I don't even know you that well, and you don't know me either. How can you be so sure you love me? It seems impossible to love someone after as little interaction as we've had."   
_Now Tokaki, on the other hand,_ my mental voice began.   
I pushed it into submissiveness as Noburo started to speak, thinking it was _not_ the time to think about how the lech would do this differently. "But I do Doulin, can't you see that? I know it seems improbable, but it does happen. Please… just listen to me," he called as I turned to go into the back room. I was doing all my work with him there, stomping around the store with a pleading guy following in my wake. "Why won't you even consider it? Is it because of anything I did?"   
I sighed again as I grabbed a bucket. He was nice, he really was, but _still_. "No, it's not. You're not who I want."   
"Well then who _do_ you want?"   
"I don't know! I just know it's not you. I'm sorry."   
He didn't seem to hear me, however. He glanced out the window and sighed. "I have to get back to work, I've been away too long as it is. I'll give you some time to think it over, all right?" He was out the door before I could reply that no it was _not_ all right I didn't need any time to think because I'd already made my decision!   
I put aside the irritation, calming down enough to get through the rest of the day without breaking anything. We had many more customers after he left, and by the end of the day we'd made a nice profit, even if (as I suspected) some of those people had just come in to stare at the seishi like the kids had. I didn't mind it though. But when I had a free moment the annoyance that I'd managed to escape for months came flooding back as if making up for lost time. It got so bad that in order to let off some steam I went out back, grabbed a handful of pebbles, and spent a good half an hour pitching them at the wall of the shop. At least I got some exercise.   
When the sun was starting to set I settled the money in my pockets, locking each of the doors and putting the keys on top of it. I was still seeing red, and I was so buried in finding new ways to express my exasperation that I managed to not notice the fact that I was taking the back ways home for a long time.   
No one in their right mind walked the back ways if they could help it. The back ways were made up of the narrow maze of alleys and cut-throughs that managed to appear in every city or large town; as mine was about the third largest in the country, it had more than its fair share of them. Almost no one was around and they were pretty disgusting. They provided quick routes to most places, and everyone knew them, but for almost everyone the dangers outweighed the profits of taking the risk.   
I felt myself start to panic as I realized where I was, but made myself stop and take two deep breaths. I could handle this. I was a seishi, there was no way some little back alley would scare me when I had seen - and experienced - so much worse. I could have turned back and continued home along one of the "safe roads", but I was struck with the urge to show how tough I could be, even if no one would ever know but me. So I kept on, watching the shadows.   
At first it wasn't too bad, just kind of cold, with the dark closing in a little more every second, just as it was on the streets. The biggest living thing I saw was a half-starved dog that slunk into the recesses as I passed. There were cats, and plenty of mice and rats, but rodents had never bothered me. I was just starting to wonder exactly _why_ everyone was so afraid to use the back ways when I heard a scuffling noise behind me.   
I spun, my eyes darting back and forth, watching warily for anything. The last time I'd heard a noise in that fashion I'd been kidnapped. Anyone would be wary after that. However, there was nothing behind me except another cat. I breathed a sigh of relief and turned around to go home again.   
Except the way in front of me had silently been blocked by two men.   
"Well well well, what have we here?" the one on the left said. "A young lady, out all by herself in a dangerous part of town."   
I hastily swallowed the fear that was shouting in my face and backed up, thinking maybe I could run.   
"Aw now, can't have that, can we?" the other one said, reaching out and gripping my arm hard. I felt the immediate urge to scream loud and hard in panic, but I clamped down on my out of control emotions and _willed_ myself not to. "Young lady like you needs an escort. We can do it. For a fee."   
"That means 'Hand over the money now and you won't get hurt' sweet cheeks," the first one translated when I just stared at them. "So just do as the nice man says, and maybe we'll even show you the quickest way out of here."   
_Well, you wanted an opportunity to prove yourself.   
SHUT UP!_ I yelled at the voice. I had to do this, I had to do this, I had to I had to… there were only two, I wasn't tied, and they only seemed to want the money. Could I do it?   
I was very willing to find out.   
Before either one could say another word or even blink I stepped quickly back and slammed my fist into the first one's torso. He grunted in pain as his breath was knocked completely out of him and he sank to his knees.   
His friend stared at him in shock for a moment, but quickly turned back to me, furious. "You little-" He didn't have time to complete that sentence as I kicked him _hard_. Where it would hurt a guy a _lot_. He dropped to the ground next to his friend.   
I just stared at them for a minute. Neither one was knocked out, but they definitely didn't look like they'd be going anywhere or doing anything for awhile. My seishi symbol, I realized with a start, hadn't even been glowing.   
I'd done that on my _own_.   
"Glad I didn't have to help you out," came a voice from behind me, in the direction the noise had come from earlier. I spun, but again saw no one. "My opinion of you would've dropped to hell if I did."   
I looked around frantically, unable to see anyone. "Where are you?!"   
"Oh… whoops. Hang on a minute."   
And there in front of me appeared one of the _last_ people I expected to see at that place at that time.   
"_TOKAKI!_"   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Mwa ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa! ^_^   
OH YEAH! Nearly forgot! Again! Grrrr, I'm a dunce... Remember the Market Bonus deal? Where I post up little side-stories to Market? Well, I'm stuck on ideas. Not exactly _stuck_, I have an idea, but it's for Amefuri so obviously it won't be coming out soon. So does anyone have any ideas or requests? It doesn't have to be a song fic, and it doesn't have to be from Subaru's POV; in fact I'd like the challenge of doing someone else ^_^ So, how 'bout it guys? Gimme some ideas! I'll credit you and thank you! Yes, that was a shameless bribe ~grins and takes off for her friends' graduation party~ 


	21. Chapter 20: Confrontations

  
DISCLAIMER: Sesame chicken is gooooooood. Unfortuately sesame chicken is not FY. I own some sesame chicken. I don't own FY. That makes me saaaaaaaaaaaad ;_;   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: First off! I have a WONDERFUL new editor, she started on this chapter. She helps me sooooooo much and she deserves much multitudes of thanks. Girl Chama, you rock!   
And now for a status report. 24 is finished, 25 is on the way. It was started, but temporarily abandoned in favor oooofffffff... a side story! That's right, a side story! Okie-Dokie-Chan, you picked the winner! As much as I want to do a Toroki story, it's hard for me to because although I know at least one blind person (he's a very cool person too), I don't know if I can think like one. And I like my stuff to be at least semi-accurate. But when I read Emily's review, I got an idea for a story about Karasuki! I've got two pages on that, it's probably gonna be posted with chapter 23, since that's the time frame it's set in. If that makes no sense, it'll be clearer once I'm done and I write the introduction for it.   
OK, answer-the-questions time! Let's just go down the list... and be prepared for another novel-length intro AN...   
OK, I guess I didn't make this clear enough, sorry. In 13, and 12 and 14 for that matter, her hands are tied in front of her. It's possible to hit/slap someone like that because you can move your arms fairly normally, but it's not a normal slap since your hands can't be separated. You sort of end up backhanding them... Sorry for the mix-up! ^^;;;   
Umm, Mikka-chan, Tama won't be born for... ~does the math~ 73 years. I think that's right. He's 17 when the entire Suzaku thing happens, and it's been 90 years since Byakko no Miko came over, so... yeah, 73. ~grins~ Although maybe it's a previous incarnation... that'd be really hilarious if it was!   
Good for you Omni-chan! Ehh, about the mother ^^;;;;; Sorry. I think I was just impatient to get to other things... she did have other emotions, but I didn't put in those segments I guess. I'll try and do better next time, I promise! And you are so right about those guys - "sweetly dense" is the best way I've ever heard to discribe them. You can't hate 'em, but MAN can they annoy you. ~grins~ Note the fact that I have no experience in that field, but one of my friends is practically a professional stalkee (thankfully she knows all the guys and can kick their butts) and it's amusing to watch. I'll try and work on a Tatara story. You're right, there hasn't been much opportunity to develop him and that needs to be done. I'll see what I can think up. And I think you're the first person to ever call my chapters "short" ^_^   
Don't worry, I know there hasn't been much interaction between Subaru and Karasuki. They _do_ interact, but it just didn't seem to fit in any of the previous chapters, with Suba-chan being all Psychopathic-Depressive-Seclusionistic Girl ~ducks to avoid being hit by Subaru~ It gets better - I think. I'll put that on my "check it out" list ~thumbs up~   
No, Tokaki hasn't been following Subaru the entire time. I'm not exactly sure what he was doing, but I know he probably didn't leave until at least a day after her, since they had to plan and search for her and stuff. I _think_ he got there that very day they run into each other again. But don't hold me to that, I'm not quite sure myself.   
And again no, updates are NOT coming any sooner. Even though I'm out of school now (THANK GOD!) I'm not writing 24/7. I'm finally getting a normal amount of sleep (even if it's not at normal times), I'm doing a lot of things with my friends, I've got a dentist appointment (and I need my wisdom teeth out ~makes a face~), I've got board meetings, packing, arranging, making sure my friend doesn't take my CDs to Costa Rica, and a whole lotta other comp stuff to do. So as to not run through my supply of chapters way too quickly, we're sticking at once a week ~firm nod~   
A Kokie/Inoue story might be cool... I just need a plot idea... Hmm...   
~grins~ Blue-jay, that was the best. However, Masa-chan doesn't know any of that stuff yet. She's just a very very hopeful girl who has no idea what she's stumbled on to ~grins~ I love Masame, I can't help it. Wish I could show her more.   
And Bashou, yes that IS Shirtless Excellence ~drooooooool~ And stop pestering me, you know more than most people already! Sheesh! ~grins~   
Last note, I PROMISE. Omni-chan said something about others writing side stories. You can if you want, I can't really stop you ~grins~ but I'm not specifically requesting them. I like doing side stories myself! It's a your-own-choice thing, go ahead if you want. And if you _do_ write one, can I seeeeeeee? Pleeeeeaaaaaase? I'd _love_ to know how others see these guys, especially since I haven't related a bunch of their history...   
THE END! I PROMISE! Now on with the chapter!   
  


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Tokaki grinned impishly, putting the sudden urge to smack him in my mind. "Yep, that's me. Don't be so surprised, you know Suzuno would freak if we didn't find you sooner or later."   
"Bu… Ho… WHY?!"   
"Oh, let's see… You ran off without giving anyone any forewarning, left a most likely ambiguous-on-purpose note that told us nothing, and seemed about on the verge of throwing yourself off a cliff. I'd say we had a reason or five to be worried." He suddenly grew serious again, taking a step towards me. "Subaru, why did you leave? You weren't a burden to any of us, anybody could've told you that."   
For some reason… I just couldn't answer that. I looked away, unable to take the intensity in his eyes… at times like this he really did seem like a hawk, so focused on knowing, getting the answer, concentrating on only one thing. "H-How did you know I was in this alley? I never come back here."   
"_For a good reason, if you get attacked every time you do!_" he exploded. I winced, and he gritted his teeth and closed his eyes tightly, clenching a fist in tension. He took several deep breaths, calming down little by little until he could open his eyes and speak without yelling. "It was luck. Just dumb luck. I just seem to have this tendency to run into you in this town."   
"I don't buy that," my mouth said before I could think. It was strange how _bitter_ I sounded. I didn't sound like me.   
"All right, I'm staying in that place there." He jabbed his finger in the general direction of the back of a building I knew to be an inn, missing by a long shot because he was still almost-glaring at me. "I saw what was going on through the window. Now _tell me_ why you ran! We were all worried sick over you!"   
I backed up, not realizing what I was doing, trying to get away from the strangely overwhelming feelings that were building. "I-I don't want to hurt anyone anymore."   
"Hurt us?! How?! Did you think running away wouldn't hurt us?!"   
"NO!" I shouted at top volume. "I just thought it would hurt less to have me off your hands!"   
I saw something move out of the corner of my eye and spun swiftly, kicking one of the recovering robbers in the side of the head with my heel. He went down again with a gasp of pain, and as his buddy started to charge me I jabbed my knee into his stomach and let his momentum flip him over to land flat on his back. They wouldn't be moving for a _long_ time.   
Tokaki watched this in silence, a slight frown on his features. _His good-looking features_ my inner voice declared out of nowhere. I whacked it and made myself ignore it as he started talking again. "Let's get out of here, we seem to keep being interrupted…" Without waiting for an answer, he seized my hand in his and everything faded to white around us, to be replaced with the courtyard in front of my house.   
_Of course, he's been here before, he knows what it looks like._ I had somehow forgotten that in all the confusion; well, not forgotten it, but had pushed it to the recesses of my mind where it wasn't likely to appear again.   
"Do you know somewhere private we could talk?" Tokaki glanced around warily, like he was on the lookout for something. "This is a little… open."   
I jerked my hand out of his and began walking in the direction of the stable, where we weren't likely to be overheard or spotted as no one but me had any real need to go out there. I heard him groan behind me and start trotting to catch up, coming up next to my shoulder and then slowing his pace to mine. It was strangely comfortable, walking next to him… I jerked my thoughts away from that direction and opened the stable door.   
It was a small building, just two stalls and a small room for storage. Sora looked up, her head poked over the short stall door, blinking in the sudden flood of orange light. I could almost picture her asking what was _he_ doing here, and the thought brought a smile to my face. I briefly rubbed her nose, then opened the door to the room. It had a couple of places we could sit, at least.   
Tokaki glanced around briefly before he sat on a dusty bench. I took the time to try and clean off my choice of seat (the room's solitary chair) before taking it. I folded my hands together in my lap and waited for him to speak.   
He watched me closely, as he'd done ever since appearing in the alley. "Subaru, why did you go?"   
"I already told you…"   
"You told me shit." He was so _angry_. It was almost incomprehensible. "That's fuckin' shit, what you told me, 'I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.' Damnit woman, do you know what we _went_ through when we found you gone?!"   
"But I-"   
"Suzuno was so upset her fuckin' fever came back! Tatara could only sit next to her bed, clutching her hand and starin' into space! Toroki near broke, he shut himself in his room again, gave off finding out Amefuri and started lookin' for _you_ instead! Karasuki was in tears! Inoue and Kokie didn't speak to no one but each other for an entire _day!_ And I near went out of my mind!" Suddenly he lunged across the space separating us and grabbed my shoulders, starting to _shake_ me. "Don't you ever fuckin' do that again, damnit! I won't forgive you again!"   
I cried out and slapped him away, cringing back in my chair, still shaking. He turned away quickly, getting himself under control again. But I could swear I saw, just for a second…   
Tears?   
The room was nearly silent, the echoes of life outside it being so far away, the only sounds occupying it our breathing. The quiet stretched out, and out, and even further as I calmed myself down, focusing on the man in front of me.   
Had he really been…?   
"Tokaki?" I whispered quietly. He jumped and spun in my direction, startled by his name, and I knew. His eyes were over-bright and far too wide for normal. He _had_ been crying.   
Byakko, I didn't know I could scare him that much… I could scare Tokaki so much he'd cry. I didn't know anyone else who could do that, it was almost like he was some superhuman who didn't ever need to cry. But no, there he was, in front of me, just a guy who'd been scared out of his wits and had finally been given relief. No, he was very, very human…   
"Subaru… you don't know how much you scared me… scared all of us… We had no idea where you were, why you left, what you would do… We didn't know if you'd try to kill yourself or not. And even if you didn't want to, we knew you were probably unstable enough for an accident to happen…" He took a deep, shuddering breath. "We… we didn't know if we'd ever see you again."   
"But… But I said I was coming back! After Amefuri was found, I promised I would be back!"   
"How were we supposed to know if you'd stick to that promise?!" His voice, though loud, was shaky, and it looked like his eyes were brightening again. He hurriedly shut them, gripping the edge of the bench hard in his right hand. "We had no idea… no damn idea where you went or what would happen. Of course we were scared out of our minds! Of course I was scared…"   
Before I even knew what I was doing I was kneeling on the dusty floor in front of Tokaki, hugging him tightly, close to crying myself. I felt his arms fold around me and hold me close to his chest, his warmth wrap me in comfort, and over it all I felt his teardrops fall on the top of my head, getting caught in my hair like rain. He was shaking, shuddering with the sobs that were wracking his body, and it was all I could do to not submit to the urge to cry myself. But at the same time it was so wonderful, just sitting there with him, so warm and comforting and fulfilling in a way. I suddenly had the urge to freeze time, to make everything stop in this moment, because for the first time in a long time I felt happy… And then my mind awoke to the full irony of the thought and I began, inexplicably, to laugh, the sound mixing with the sobs I'd stopped in my throat and making it seem like I was hiccuping.   
"Subaru?" Tokaki gently pushed me away so he could see my face, his eyes still bright and his voice scratchy. "What is it? Are you all right?"   
"H-Hai…" I laughed-sobbed, still somewhat amazed. I dragged back one of my arms to wipe my eyes. "I-I was just thinking that I wished I could stop time… and then I realized I could if I wanted!" I laughed again, the sobbing almost completely gone, once again just happy, healthy Subaru. "I could!"   
He grabbed me to him, making me squeak as the breath was knocked out of me, but I didn't really mind. "You laughed… you laughed again… Byakko you don't know how glad I am to hear that sound."   
"I might be, remember who you're talking to here," I said into his shoulder, making my voice very muffled.   
And he laughed, too, and it was perfect.   
  


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"OOOMF!"   
Tokaki went flying back into the wall, the flying battering ram that was Masame clutching tightly around his middle, just like what happened with me four days before. She was ecstatic and overjoyed to see Tokaki again, and had showed her enthusiasm by nearly killing him. She definitely hadn't changed.   
"Tokaki-san Tokaki-saaaaaaaaaaaaan!" Masame cheered gleefully, kneeling next to him on the floor, apparently not concerned that she might've snapped his neck. "Nee-chan said you weren't here, but you are!"   
"And you're gonna know that!" Tokaki roared, surging up from the floor to tackle my sister, who screamed playfully and tried to wriggle out of his grip. He had that mischievous grin on his face though, and he refused to let go, and began tickling her mercilessly. Masame stopped trying to get away and worked on curling up into a ball on the floor to protect herself, but she was kind of hampered by the loud laughter that she couldn't stop emitting and all the squirming she had to do to try and find a place where he _couldn't_ get to her. I just shook my head at the two of them.   
"Uh… Doulin-chan? What's going on?" Kaa-san appeared behind me, her head sticking out of the main room, sounding slightly bewildered and confused.   
I gestured at the squirming mass in front of me. "Tickle fight."   
"Ohhhhhhh." She nodded, a new look of complete understanding on her face, and stepped out into the hall, folding her arms over her chest. "When were you going to tell us he was here?" She jerked her head at Tokaki, raising an eyebrow at me.   
I flushed for some incomprehensible reason. "I just found out myself not too long ago, when I was coming home from the shop. I couldn't have told you before then."   
She didn't look as if she believed me, but she didn't ask again, instead marching forward, expertly dodging the occasional flying limb that came shooting out at her, hiding a smile at the squeals of laughter and playful threats. "That's enough you two," she said calmly, reaching in and expertly detaching Masame from Tokaki, having had much experience at that with Bokkai and me, and Bokkai and Masame. "It's time for dinner. Masame, get the plates, Tokaki-san, you can help Doulin-chan serve."   
Tokaki blinked at her blankly, trying to figure out just _how_ she'd gotten there without him noticing, but then his face broke into a wide grin. "Sure thing, Tamure-san. Come on!" And before I could say a word he'd grabbed me around the waist, lifted me off the floor, and slung me over his shoulder, laughing like a madman and racing down the hall to the kitchen.   
It took me less than a second to recover, but when I did I immediately began pounding on his back as hard as I could. "_Put me down you PERVERT!_"   
"Not happening!"   
"Me next Tokaki-saaaaaan!" Masame cried, chasing after us.   
He sped into the kitchen and dumped me unceremoniously on the counter, leaving me sitting there, dazed and trying to catch my breath, as he and Masame raced around, getting things out for dinner. He'd cracked, he'd finally gone insane. "You're dead, you know it?!" I yelled at him above the clamor, hopping off the counter to stand with my fist planted on my hip, glaring in his direction.   
He just popped up in front of me, making me yelp in surprise, that grin still on his face. "You? Kill me? Never." Then he grabbed my hips in his hands, pulled me to him, and kissed me full on the lips. Masame gasped happily as I fumbled about behind me, grabbed a pot by the handle, and smashed him upside the head with it. He crashed into the opposite wall, dazed, watching invisible birdies fly around his head.   
I dropped the pot back on the counter, dusted off my hands, and finished getting dinner ready.   
  


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I don't know how, but somehow things calmed down after that, as miraculous as it seems. We managed to have a sane dinner, where we chatted calmly. Masame was about to mention what had gone on in the kitchen when she saw my warning glare and meekly submitted, sipping her soup. That was no business of our parents'; I could take care of the lech fine on my own. It wasn't even that hard to make my inner voice behave when it piped up with _It WAS kinda fun_.   
After we'd finished and left the dishes in the kitchen, Tokaki and I walked out into the courtyard. Dark had fallen and it was semi-overcast, but patches of sky could still be seen through the clouds, and some stars as well. If I looked closely I could just make out part of the constellation of Karasuki.   
"It's a nice night," Tokaki said lazily, stretching up his arms and folding them behind his head, staring upward as I was. "Almost wish I was riding, but teleporting's definitely faster."   
"Teleporting to where? The inn?" I asked, not really focusing on the question or his upcoming answer. But when he spoke, it grabbed my attention.   
"No, the capital."   
I quickly looked at him, surprised. "T-The capital? Why?"   
He shrugged, still looking up at the clouds. "I promised I'd let them know if I found you."   
He didn't have to say who "them" was. "No," I begged quietly, pleading with him. "Please don't. Please…"   
"I have to Subaru," he said sharply, facing me and bringing his arms down to his sides. "They'll still be worried. They want to know you're all right."   
"But…" How could I make him understand? Just the thought of the capital, and the palace, filled me with dread, almost as bad as when I was still there. "But they'll want me to go back, and I can't, I can't yet…"   
"You have to face it sooner or later, what difference does it make when?!" he almost yelled, gripping my upper arms tight.   
"A lot of difference!" I yelled back, twisting out of his grip and taking a couple of steps back. He was almost frightening… "I can't go back yet."   
He didn't say anything, just glared at me.   
"I can't!" I cried desperately. "Just the thought of it… Please don't tell them where I am, they'll make me come! I-I need time, I need space! Look, I'm already getting better! You saw!" _Please, please understand…_ "I'm getting better here! But th-there, there's too many memories, it's too cramped… please!"   
I ran out of words, unable to explain what was going through my body at the thought of returning, silently begging him to understand, to not do this to me, to help me… the silence stretched, and stretched…   
And finally… "I'm still going back."   
A small sob escaped my mouth and I started to sink to the ground, but he rushed over and caught me before I could crumble entirely. "No, Suba-chan, listen to me. I'm going back, because they're all feeling just as bad as you and deserve to know you're all right. But I won't tell them where you are, all right?" He fell silent for a couple of anxious seconds, watching me carefully. "I won't tell them where you are, and I'll make it clear to them that you can't come back yet. They'll understand, you know they will. I'll explain everything to them. I'll tell them you're getting better where you are, and soon you'll be back to your old self and will come back. Suzuno'll probably figure out where you are, but she won't make you come back, she loves you too much to make you do that. We all love you too much to make you be miserable."   
"Th… Thank you," I whispered, watching him with my blurry vision. He really was a wonderful person. "H-How did you find me in the first place? How did you know I'd go home?"   
He smiled, and my breath caught in my chest. "I just knew. I'll be back in the morning." Then he kissed me gently on the forehead, stood, and vanished before my eyes, leaving me much more confused than I'd ever been before.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
True to his word, Tokaki appeared the next morning after breakfast to escort me to the shop. He was fascinated by everything we kept there and I kept having to slap his hand away from some very expensive things he shouldn't be touching under any circumstances. When customers started coming in he said he'd be back around sunset and left for destinations unknown. I was almost glad to see him go; I could think better when he wasn't in front of me.   
It was shaping up to be a fairly normal day, when the door opened, letting in a brisk breeze that made my hair stir even at the back of the room. I quickly finished helping a customer pay for a small mirror, bowed, and hurried over to the new person as was my duty. But when I saw who it was, my jaw dropped in shock.   
It was Aihara Chieko - the wife of the highest noble in our area. Everyone knew the Aihara family; when one of them left their extensive home and grounds on the outside of town, the procession was nearly as great as the royal family's. And never, not one single time I could think of in my seventeen-year history, had one of the Aiharas come to the area of town where our store was located, much less come in the store itself. It just never, never happened. Ohhhh Byakko…   
I took a deep breath and approached her, glad my long shirt hid my shaking legs, and bowed as low as I could. It was more nerve-wracking than meeting the emperor. She definitely did not appear happy to be there, as she was looking down her long nose, casting derisive glances at almost everything we sold, no matter the quality. Her clothing was no less than ostentatious, with gaudy patterns and colors and far too many jeweled pins in her hair. Behind her she had no less than three ladies-in-waiting, grouped together and tittering quietly among themselves, dressed almost as richly as their mistress. The emperor had been kind and welcoming from the first, and only once, on the day we came back after rescuing Suzuno, had I seen him wear his formal robes. He vastly preferred being comfortable over showing his station. Aihara Chieko-sama was like a very bad caricature of the stereotypical rich woman.   
_Save me,_ I begged Byakko as I straightened up from my bow, watching her nervously. She was just the type of person I'd wanted to avoid at the palace, but here she was looking me in the face, openly studying me. Her eyes narrowed as they passed slowly from the top of my head to the tips of my shoes, a frown crossing her face as she saw my rather revealing clothing. When she finished her inspection she just stood there, obviously sizing me up, tapping her forefinger against her chin.   
"Well…" I jumped when she spoke, but hurriedly got myself under control. It was extremely startling; she definitely didn't look nice, but her voice was deep, rich, and mellow, almost musical, contracting vastly with her looks. "Well."   
I was very tempted to go "Well what?" but I knew that would just get me in severe trouble. Instead I bowed again and asked in a quiet, deferring voice, "Does my lady require something?"   
"Stand up straight child, let me look at you." I obeyed her directions, noting uneasily that the eyes of the four other people in the shop were riveted on the two of us. "Yes… Yes. I see." I didn't ask what she saw. "Rumors have reached our house that one of the warriors of Byakko was in this town - indeed, in this very building much of the time."   
I gulped. This was much, much worse than the children. "They have, my lady?"   
"Yes, they have." She said. In anyone else, the tone could have been considered sharp, but with her voice it was cancelled out. "Tell me child, why do you dress in that fashion?"   
I knew it I knew it I knew it I knew it I knew it. I _knew_ my clothing would cause problems like this!   
_Calm down Subaru, calm down. Think of it this way, you're at least her equal now. Maybe even more important._ The voice in my mind sounded suspiciously like Suzuno and Toroki, and I decided to take their advice. I raised my head and looked her square in the eye, my tremblings fading away and leaving me feeling as collected as a still pool. "Because I choose to, as I have the right to do so."   
She raised one finely shaped eyebrow at my sass but made no other remark or gesture that acknowledged my change in attitude. "So I take it that you are, in fact, the Byakko no shichiseishi that has been throwing this town into confusion?"   
"I wouldn't say I've been causing that much commotion, but yes, I am." Suzuno and Toroki were right. Until Byakko was called, at least, I was her equal, in fact probably more important than her and her husband. My friends and I were the salvation of the entire country, once we found Amefuri. "I am Subaru."   
"I require proof."   
My eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly at the vastly superior tone that no amount of fantastic voice could mask. Now that I'd gotten myself under control, I wasn't about to take that from her; I was far too proud and stubborn to let myself be walked over. She'd pay for it…   
I threw all my will into my power, making the white light explode from my symbol in blinding proportions - blinding to everyone except myself. I could still see perfectly clearly through the blaze of light that rocketed around the room, making everyone, not just Aihara Chieko, cry out in surprise and pain and drop to their knees, covering their eyes. I was sorry the others had to be put through this as well, but I'd make it up to them in some way - she had to be taught a lesson.   
The light was as bright as the sun, but gradually I made it settle, decrease to a bearable level, then to almost nonexistent, just leaving my symbol glowing comfortably, completely exposed by my clothing. As the woman began to straighten up in front of me, I folded my arms and asked quite innocently, "Is that enough proof?"   
She struggled to her feet under the heavy clothing, a most unpleasant look on her face. "That will do for your _insolence_ girl," she growled, all trace of the wonderful voice gone. "I will have you remember just who I am-"   
"And I will have you remember just who _I_ am," I said coolly, my eyes narrowing even further on their own accord. She gaped a bit and looked ready to launch into a tirade, but I cut her off before she could start. "I am a Byakko no shichiseishi. I have been places, done things, seen things, and experienced things that would make you cringe. My friends and I are here to save this country. I shall treat you with respect as long as you do the same for me. We are on the same side, after all."   
She just stared at me, stunned, the young women whispering fast and scared behind her. Then, without another word, she turned and swept out of the store, taking the three gossipers with her.   
I heaved a sigh of relief as the door closed behind them and allowed myself to slouch in release. My back was starting to hurt from keeping it so ramrod straight. Then I guiltily remembered the others that had been in the shop and turned to face them, a sheepish look on my face. "I'm sorry, I got a little carried away…"   
But my voice was stopped in amazement as each and every one of them, watching me in awe, began to applaud.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Things calmed down a lot after that, although no one would probably call it "calm." I began to understand what Tokaki had said so long ago, right before we'd found Toroki, about people turning up to stare at the seishi. The children's story and the tales of the people who had been in the shop when Aihara Chieko had come by spread like wildfire, and my identity as a seishi was no longer a secret. In fact, it seemed to be the main talking point most places I went. Everyone was very pleasant about it, thanking me for helping Sairou, giving me good wishes, even small gifts occasionally, which I refused to accept.   
It was somewhat overwhelming, this sudden fame. At the palace they had had two seishi to get used to before I'd appeared, and the others were popping up fairly constantly as well, so not as much fuss was made over us, even though we were certainly treated with respect. In my town it wasn't worship, but it was definitely a form of awe. Every day at least one person would come into the shop and ask about the other seishi, or started gossiping about what had happened to Aihara Chieko. It was almost as if seeing the noblewoman put down by a supposedly mere teenage girl was more exciting than the sudden appearance of a legendary seishi, and truthfully I couldn't blame them. That family had been so pompous for so long they deserved a put-down.   
After a couple of weeks it slowed down, as people began to get used to it and the gossipmongers found other things to talk about. Gradually the stream of people resolved once again into actual customers, with only the occasional gawker. However, I still had to put up with one particular person: Noburo.   
He turned up _every single day_. I was on the verge of going crazy; it was even worse than before I left, although I didn't know why. Surely he didn't see me as _that_ much more desirable than before he knew I was a seishi. For a few days he was pestering me as to if the rumors really were true or just normal gossip. He didn't seem to take my verbal assurances for real, so finally, a few days afterwards, I grabbed a knife, put a slash in my arm, and then fixed myself before he could yell in protest.   
"See?!" I growled, sticking my wound-free arm under his nose. "Could I do that if I wasn't?!"   
"Uh…… no."   
I considered myself lucky that I was able to keep Tokaki a secret. He hadn't stayed in the capital after he went back to tell them I was all right, as I thought he would, but instead came back and continued camping out at the inn he'd indicated to me. He would always appear, without fail, every morning and evening to walk with me to work and then home, as if he was afraid I'd be attacked again, or maybe to fend off the insanely curious. Word also got around that I was often seen in the company of a mysterious young man, and of course other rumors developed off of that piece of news.   
"He's just a normal person and he's only a friend!" I yelled when Kiyome, my best friend and a recent mother, innocently asked who he was, as she'd seen him walk me in that morning. Thankfully he'd been long gone by the time she asked. I winced when I realized just who I was exploding at and started to apologize, but she waved away the words with a graceful hand.   
"It's understandable, Doulin-chan," she commented lightly as she played with her newborn daughter's miniature hand and brushed a piece of her short brown hair out of her face. "After all, you're the biggest thing to come up here since the war started five years ago. If I were to ask you I'm sure you'd tell me, with no loss for words, just how aggravating being instantly famous is." She smiled at me and I calmed down, smiling back. She didn't have to ask, because she already knew what I would say. It was really, really annoying.   
Most of the reason I was able to keep Tokaki's identity a secret was the fact that I'd forbidden any of my family, _especially_ Masa-chan, from mentioning who he was, and I kept a lid on it myself. She couldn't help talking about her great new friend, of course, but she always referred to him as "Lanva-san," which I was infinitely grateful for. I figured out after awhile that Tokaki spent a lot of his time hanging around the kids of my town, with Masame and her friends and some of the others. Apparently wherever he started to show up the nearby mothers would see him as an instant baby-sitter and would send their kids to him so they could get some free time. He didn't seem to mind, even seemed to like it. Based on the glimpse I'd seen of him on the day I'd left, he was definitely good with kids and didn't mind playing with them - he was almost a kid himself at times, after all.   
It was almost three weeks later that things took a drastic change - and, strangely enough, Noburo was involved.   
The latest customer had left about ten minutes before when the door opened. I was in the back, looking for something, but as I poked my head out the door I saw the back of Noburo's head and couldn't surpress a groan. He didn't hear me, fortunately, but I knew I'd have to deal with him sooner or later. I had to every day now. I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, gathering my wits, then resolutely shut the drawer I'd been searching and stepped out of the room.   
His face lit with a genuine smile as he saw me and it almost hurt, what I was planning on doing, what I did every day. Almost. He wasn't a bad guy. He wasn't mean. He wasn't boring. He seemed to really love me - why else would he keep coming back? But I didn't. Want. To. Marry. Him.   
"Doulin-chan! How are you?"   
"I'm fine. What do you want?" I folded my arms, staring him down determinedly, vowing that _this day_ I would finally get rid of him - as I had been vowing for nearly a year. Oh well, even if it wasn't the last day, I could put him off again.   
"Just to talk, dear. I want to talk to you more." I groaned and rolled my eyes, turning and going to straighten one of the shelves. "Doulin-chan, please, just talk to me. Isn't that what people who love each other do? Talk?"   
"They also listen," I growled to myself. "You don't."   
"Because I do love you," he continued as if he hadn't heard me. Which he hadn't. "You know I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you-"   
"And _I_ don't want to spend the rest of _my_ life with _you!_" I spun, glaring, for some reason trying to attack him with a cleaning cloth.   
He wisely stepped well out of range as I heard the door open. _Great,_ I thought. _Well, everyone you know knows about this already._ It was true. I had been the talk of the gossipers before, when they'd learned of my refusal to obey my father and marry Noburo, and his determined chasing ever since then. I decided to just physically kick him out if I had to, then deal with the customer. "Doulin-chan, why are you so against marrying me? If I haven't done anything to make you angry, then why?"   
"_Because_-"   
"Because she's already married," a smooth voice interrupted, and I looked up, shocked, as Tokaki slid an arm around my waist and pulled me to his side. "Very happily, I might add."   
And before I could kill him myself for doing something so pretentious he bent over and covered my mouth with his, nearly pressing me into the floor with the force behind the action as he kissed me passionately.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: MWA HE HE HEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! ^________^ Sanomi, you hit the nail on the head! ~dances away, happy in her evil-ness~   
~runs back~ For all you Tokaki fans (or anyone who wants to laugh at an idea of mine ^_^) go to http://www.geocities.com/lai_nyan/tssg.html and check it out. And get out of the way of Bashou and J. Liha. ~does so herself, running to hide in a handy-dandy bomb shelter~   
One last note: as in exactly two weeks (on June 16th) I am going away for the following six weeks ('til sometime around July 28th) and I have no idea if updates will be possible (check Rebirth 13 to find out why) I will be happy to mail people during those six weeks to say if I got a new chapter up. Confused? You're probably not the only one. I know I'll have internet and computer access while I'm gone, but I'm not sure about uploading or updating or any of that. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to post while I'm down there, but I'm gonna try. And in any case a regular update schedule looks like a nonexistent possibility. So if you wanna know when I update (and if I _can_ update) just leave me your e-mail address somewhere and what story/stories you wanna be updated on. E-mails will go out sometime during the week of June 17th, if I have the time. Cross your fingers and hope it works, please! 


	22. Chapter 21: Learning to See

  
DISCLAIMER:I am NOT forgetting it this time! NO OWN! NO OWN!   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I feel like I'm getting a cult following ^^;;;;; It's kinda strange - but fun! I love you all! (And Skittles, I wanna know just HOW it is that you're first to review on almost _every chapter_.)   
Well, didn't seem to be many questions this time, as most people were a liiiiiiiittle too enthused about Mr. Lech kissing her (~Evil Grin~) so I can take care of those, and the things needing comments, fast this time! ~faints of shock~ Then again, maybe not...   
OK, to clear things up ~takes Mikka-chan's spork and bops~ We _do_ know how long it's been in the book. At one point (when they're at the tower looking for Miaka I think) Subaru says to Tokaki "Remember dear? 90 years ago..." or something like that, refering to the time in the book when Suzuno and Tatara had met and fallen in love. Aaaaaaaand I'm gonna get technical now ^^ A reasonable real-world time for the story of Miaka and Yui would be around 1991-1993, and Takiko went into the book in early 1923 (I'm assuming this based on how you can spend months in the book and only be gone two days) so the earliest Suzuno could have gone in was late April 1923. All in all less than 70 years' real-world time pass between her and Miaka, but 90 years book-time. That make sense? ^_^ (Have I mentioned that I watch the Byakko episodes more than any other episode? My DVD player hates me now ^_^) And why not? Let's let that kid be Tama-chan's pre-incarnation (instead of reincarnation, cause Tama comes after) ^_^ It would explain a thing or two!   
Ryn, you cheaaaaaated! ~wails~ No no no! ~grins~ It's all right. Thankees on the congrats. ~takes a moment to pull Lanen back on the face of the earth~ Don't fall off girl! ~grins at Waku-chan~ Smart idea. Won't get you hurt, but bopped severely is close.   
aikido-chan, is Roku-chan really recommending me? Whoa god ~bluuuuuuuuush blushblushblushblushblush~ I'm nothing next to her and Mouse and Ryu-chan. I just happen to love what I do and what I write about. But thanks for saying all that! You're gonna make me blush more! ~is already~ ~hugs aikido-chan~ ~hugs everyone else while she's at it, loves them ALL~   
Damodar, you are the best. Seriously.   
Blue-jay, you made my week ^__________^ I wonder if they had an ambulance in ancient China... Hmm ^_^ Unfortuantely, this is the last guaranteed update, although I WILL be trying after this. Hee hee, lesser and hotter of two evils... And J. Liha, you have a dirty mind! ~smacks her arm, as per tradition among her friends~ Then again, so do I...   
Actually, one of my favorite scenes was last chapter - the one in the kitchen. It was really fun to write, first off (I was on the phone with my friend - who thankfully knows all about this and was my primary reader for awhile - when I got this idea, and I just burst out laughing right then and there.) and just funny to think about. And I know this is cheesy but now that I think about it that scene sort of seems to embody the spirit/tone/whatever of most of this fic. I like having fun with this one... and especially literal Tokaki-bashing ^^   
OK everyone, a note on Amefuri. I know WHO Amefuri is. I know what gender, what age, history, symbol location, pretty much everything, including when he or she comes in. It'll come, it'll come, just give me a chance! I've got other stuff to do before that!   
Please note the mailing list thing is still open! (In fact, it probably won't be closed until the day before I leave.) But you _have_ to leave me your name/e-mail address so I know who to send stuff too! I'm not gonna assume that -everyone- wants an update, so you gotta tell me these things! Thanks! ^_^   
  


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Good lord, I was _not_ prepared for that. Tokaki wrapped his other arm around my shoulders, drawing me even closer to him, and - Byakko help me - deepening the kiss. In fact, it was probably a good thing he had both arms around me, as my legs suddenly didn't seem strong enough to hold me up. The rest of my body didn't seem very stable either, and I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. My mind was whirling, the thoughts speeding by too fast for me to be able to make them out, but I couldn't focus on them anyway, all I could focus on was Tokaki's face, with nothing separating us at all. I noticed the smallest things about him: the exact shade of his tanned skin, the way one stray bit of his hair hung across his left eye, every single eyelash lining those closed eyes… Oh my god oh my god oh my god…   
But then he pulled back, still holding onto me, almost taking my entire weight on his arms, giving Noburo a satisfied smirk. "See?"   
I barely registered it, as I was far too busy gaping at Tokaki, but Noburo and I could have been twins at that point. His jaw had dropped as far as was humanly possible, a look of absolute shock that was almost the mirror of mine plastered on his face. We were both stunned out of our wits. Neither of us said a word.   
Tokaki nodded casually at the door. "Don't you have somewhere to be right now? Work or something?"   
Still silent in shock, Noburo turned, as if he were a sleepwalker obeying a command, and stumbled for the door, even though he probably wouldn't be able to work for some time. The door clicked shut in his wake.   
Tokaki turned back to me, the smirk gone and his normal easy grin on his face. "That should take care of 'im… Subaru? What is it?"   
I was still gaping wordlessly at him, my eyes wider than they had probably been in my entire life. What the… What had… What did… "_What the hell did you do THAT for?!_" my voice finally settled on. I wrenched out of his hold, stumbling back a couple of steps, crashing into the wall and supporting myself with my hands, which were firmly pressed against the wood - my legs still seemed to be having problems supporting me. "Why in the FUCKING hell did you do that?"   
He sighed, shook his head, and gave me an exasperated look. "I don't suppose doing it again'll calm you down any…"   
"No it WON'T you PERVERT!"   
"Well too fucking bad then." Before I could stop him he'd closed the distance between us and I was pressed against the wall, his lips on mine, hot and fiery and urgent and oh gods save me! I smacked him hard across the cheek and backhanded him in the next instant, then shoved him physically away from me. His eyes were burning, but it wasn't with anger. I didn't want to think about what I was seeing.   
"OUT!" I screamed. "OUT! Get out! NOW!"   
His eyes were still burning and it was frightening but at the same time it was almost thrilling. Everything about him… his stance, his face, his hands… everything was that strange combination of frightening and thrilling, thrilling and frightening, thrilling… exciting… oh no… But he slowly straightened up, closing his eyes, hiding the molten copper from my view yet again. "All right. I'll go."   
And he did.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
I could barely concentrate all day. Every time I tried to force my thoughts in a different direction they would always veer back to that mix of emotions I'd felt looking at Tokaki… and the kisses… and his face… and- oh gods. It got so bad that not very much later I simply locked everything up, closing the shop for the day, and sat there in the afternoon light just staring at my hands but not seeing them, because instead I was seeing Tokaki's hands, Tokaki's face…   
The one solitary thing I was able to focus on comprehensibly was my sense of wonder that I hadn't had a reaction. Well, a fearful reaction; I'd had several others. Not once had the thought of Taheiji or the guard or the prison crossed my mind. I had no idea what it meant, if I was better or if I'd simply been too shocked to even respond in _that_ way. But I was glad I hadn't.   
Time passed, obviously. I was far too stunned to use my powers to make it do something different than it usually did. And, just as normal, at sunset Tokaki appeared in the back room, ready to walk me home.   
I could hear him moving around in there, waiting for me like he always did, but I didn't want to face him. I didn't get up from my seat on the floor, in the corner, just praying he'd go away before I'd have to see him… and that strange fire in his eyes… Then my prayer was answered as I faintly heard the distinctive sound his teleportation made and the other noises cease, and I breathed a sigh of relief. But before I could breathe in again he appeared right in front of me, staring down at me seriously. I gulped and pushed myself to my feet, determined to at least _try_ and act normal, save some face, even though I knew I'd fail miserably. "Is it time to go home?" My voice was way too high for normal; it sounded more like a mouse.   
"You're not going home; we're having a talk," he said firmly. "A good, long talk."   
"Bu… Bu-But the keys-"   
"Already done. Come on." And he grabbed my hand and once again the whiteness rose around us, swirled for the barest portion of a second, then fell away to reveal a rather plain but well-kept room. I cast a small glance at the window in the wall and saw the alleyway I'd faced those thugs in. So we were in his temporary room…   
"Sit," he said, pointing at one of the chairs grouped around a table. I sat. He also pulled out a chair and sat, facing me, still serious. He watched me for a moment, then sighed, a helpless, defeated sound. "Look, Subaru-"   
But before he could say anything my mouth took control and ran away with me. "You don't have to say anything but thank you for getting rid of Noburo and I know it was just a joke-"   
"Subaru!" He was shocked. "A joke?! You think- oh gods, looks like my reputation's finally caught up to me," he muttered, slightly bitterly.   
"Well… it was. So it's all right, I'll forget it if you will-"   
"Damnit, I don't _want_ to forget it!" That fire was back in his eyes, but this time it was also desperate, pleading, and for the life of me I couldn't look away… "I don't want to! I don't want you to! Don't you get it?! Haven't you figured it out by _now?!_"   
"F… F-Figured what out?" I said meekly, almost overpowered by the emotional currents flowing through the room.   
And then I couldn't breathe any more, because… because…   
_My god… he's a god…_   
Fire and heat and passion and caring and tenderness and kindness and respect and awe and worship and longing and desire and want and need and forever and together and… and…   
_Love_   
Love.   
Love.   
He was holding me to him again, firmly and gently and passionately and restrainedly all at the same time, everything, absolute, and his lips were pressed against mine and they were electric, sending shocks of emotion through every point in my body, and they were so soft, and he was so wonderful, and his hands felt just right, resting against my back like they were, and it was complete, I was complete, he was complete, we were complete, and whole, and together…   
And he pulled away slowly, actually trembling slightly, a mix of surprise, despair, hope, and longing on his strangely perfect face… "I love you Subaru. I love you… I love you and I have to tell you before I lose you to someone else before you even know how I feel… And now I have…"   
It… It couldn't be real… could it? I was sitting here, in a small room, with the most perfect guy in the world in front of me, telling me he loved me…   
Perfect?   
When had I come to think of him as perfect…?   
It didn't matter… What mattered was that I'd finally figured it out.   
A memory flitted through my mind, a ghost of a voice, going "_who do you want?_"… and I finally knew.   
The one I wanted could be the kindest person one minute, the most exasperating the next. The one I wanted had a sense of humor that always made me smile. The one I wanted was playful as a child but could be as serious as someone twice his age. The one I wanted had fire in his eyes. The one I wanted was sitting in front of me, watching me with that same expression, waiting to hear my decision.   
"I…" My mind finally knew what my heart had been trying to tell it forever, and my tongue had failed me. "I…" I couldn't express it.   
And then… my heart stopped, my mind shouted _NO! NO!_ as his eyes dropped from mine, his face fell in a look of despair, loss, and hopelessness. "I see… Sorry I bothered you. We don't have to pretend like this ever happened." And he stood up and began moving away from me, and I could swear I heard him say under his breath, "The one time it really mattered and I blew it…"   
The one time it really mattered… the one time…   
_DON'T LOSE HIM!!!!_   
And before he could head for the door I jumped to my feet, flung my arms around his waist, and kissed him as hard as I could.   
Just for a moment, but for a moment that lasted for all eternity, he stood there rigid, unbelieving. But as I continued kissing him his eyes closed slowly and his arms became entangled in my own as he wrapped them around my waist, and he returned the kiss, sweet and passionate all at once, and I knew I'd found the one I'd been looking for since I'd learned about the concept of "love."   
"Let me get this straight…" he murmured, pulling back slightly so we could see each other, a light smile on his lips, unhooking my arms from his body so he could hold my hands in his. "You want me to stay?"   
I smiled up into that wonderful, perfect face. "You doubted?"   
"Yeah, for a minute, actually…" he half-laughed. "Can you really blame me though?"   
"No," I replied softly, reaching up to brush his hair out of his eyes, my fingers burning pleasantly where I touched his skin. "I love you, Tokaki."   
A new emotion appeared in his eyes at the sound of those words combined with his name, and I felt a shiver go up my spine in anticipation.   
He kissed me slowly, sliding his arms around my waist, holding onto me and holding me up at the same time. I closed my eyes and melted into his kiss, feeling so comfortable, so happy… I was ready to admit it; I loved him, I really did, I loved him and he loved me and we were together and that was all that mattered, not the past, not the future, nothing. We could die tomorrow and it would be all right, because… we were together.   
I slid my arms around his neck, tightening my grip until I'd pulled myself as close to him as was humanly possible and just hung on for sweet life as we kissed. He was gentle, so gentle, and I couldn't picture myself with anyone else but him forever and ever… he was my world now.   
He suddenly pulled away and I looked up in exasperation, silently asking him just _what_ did he think he was doing. He just smiled that special smile, that one that was meant for no one but me, and raised his hand to trail his fingers over my face. He'd never treat me badly, he'd always be there for me, a thousand things seemed to be promised in that one smile alone. "You're so beautiful… I love you. More than anything in the world."   
I smiled, too, and reached up to intertwine my fingers in his, feeling the way the muscles in his palm flexed, trying to memorize every little thing about him. He might be a jerk, he might be a pervert, he might look at other girls, but it would always be me… "I know." And I pulled him down to my level and kissed him soundly, putting all the love I felt in that one simple action. He responded in kind, our kiss deepening by mutual understanding, growing to encompass our entire minds and wipe away all consciousness of the outside world; nothing existed for us outside the small, barely furnished room. My fingers buried themselves in his surprisingly soft hair and his hands were holding me to him and it was pure bliss.   
As we kissed we slowly sat on the edge of the bed, and he began leaning me back, laying us down gently, never letting go of each other even to breathe. His lips left mine with a stroke of my hair, and he kissed my chin, then the top of my neck, then slowly trailed kisses down my throat as I shivered in reaction. But when he reached for my clothing, something passed in front of me - the smell of a dusty room, a brisk command, unfriendly hands. I whimpered slightly and pulled away, my head sinking deeper into the pillow as I turned it away and shut my eyes, the tears welling up inside them. Oh Byakko, was that going to haunt me for the rest of my life?   
"Suba-chan? What's wrong?" Tokaki's voice was a soft whisper, filled with genuine concern.   
"It's… I… I don't know if I can go through with this," I replied quietly, not turning to look at him. Damn you past, stay in the past and let me live!   
"Shhhhhh…" He placed a warm hand on my cheek, stroking it and my hair at the same time. "It's all right. We don't have to do this if you don't want to…"   
"I-Iya…" I choked out, finally returning my gaze to him. I smiled waveringly, trying to reassure him and hold back the tears. "I… I want to." I felt I could never lie to those hawk-like eyes when they looked at me as they were now, warm and sympathetic and totally and completely loving of me. _Me_. A nothing, a no one who just happened to have a special mark… Thank Byakko, I wouldn't have ever found him otherwise… "I want to. It's just…"   
"The memories?" I nodded, almost ashamed. It wasn't like he was perfectly clean either, but everything before had been his choice, and I'd been too weak to stop mine. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" He lowered himself until he was lying next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist again and pulling my back to meet his chest, putting his chin on my shoulder. I clasped my hands over his, holding his one between my two. "We don't have to if you don't want to."   
In response I turned over to face him, not moving his arm, and placed one hand on each side of his face. That sweet, annoying, wonderful face… "I want to."   
He nodded, slowly turning his head so he could kiss my palm, understanding in his look. "We'll take it slowly, then. If you want to stop, at any time, just say so… Is that all right?"   
I nodded, and once again he leaned in and kissed me deeply, the intense pureness of his feelings flooding my body with the contact. It was happiness, and love, in its truest form, something we'd never let go of. And he was there to lead me, to protect me, to help me through the memories that still managed to make themselves known, and I was with him and he was with me and it was _right_.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
I was warm, so warm, and that warmth had nothing to do with the temperature in the room, and everything with the person next to me, whose arm was wrapped firmly around my waist as I huddled close to his chest, listening to his steady, sleeping breath. It had been long dark when I'd awoken from one of the nicest sleeps I'd had in a long time, sure that everything had been a dream… a dream I never wanted to wake from, it was so beautiful. But it hadn't been; the crescent moon was shining through a window that wasn't mine, the bed was in the wrong place, and the surest proof of all was the warm body beside me, holding me close in his sleep. It was so… right. There was no other way to describe it. Everything about it was totally, completely, perfect. I smiled at his vulnerable face, so open in sleep, and reached up to brush his spiky hair out of his eyes, wondering how I could have been so lucky that I found him.   
The moonlight painted a white stripe across his face, making him all the more visible. He was so caring, so wonderful… he was mine, forever. Sure, he probably couldn't break old habits; there was an almost certain chance that he'd still look at other women, but I was sure that would be all. Just like I needed him, he needed me to be complete and whole and alive. Now that we'd found each other, we'd never be apart.   
He stirred slightly and I withdrew my hand, content and happy to just watch his eyes blink sleepily open, see his face as expressive as a little boy's as he came out of the depth of dreams. He immediately focused on me, a smile spreading over his entire face as he gathered me closer to him. "I'm so glad you're not a dream…"   
I rested my head against his chest, laying one hand over the working muscles there, wholly fulfilled. "Neither are you."   
We lay there together for a long moment, simply content with being with each other, not having to talk or move to convey our feelings. Then he glanced at the window and sighed, the rushing air stirring a few strands of my long hair in it passing. "You'd better go home… your family will wonder what happened to you."   
I smiled at his tone. He was incredibly reluctant to admit I had a life beyond him and this room. And at the moment, I was too. "Let them wonder." I snuggled in closer to him, fitting my head beneath his chin and putting my arms around his neck. "It'll do them good to wonder for a change."   
I felt him smile, and his hand began to stroke my hair gently. "As you wish, love."   
A little thrill ran up my back at that word. _Love_. It was true, it was true, it was true… "Tokaki?"   
"Yes?"   
"When did you first know you were in love with me?"   
He mock-groaned. "Aww, why do you always have to ask the hard questions?"   
I giggled. I loved his sense of humor. "Because I like making you think, you do it so rarely," I teased him lightly, smiling at the hopeless imitation of indignation he tried to assume at that comment.   
Finally he gave up trying to look affronted and grinned, resting his forehead against mine and laying one hand on my hip. "You torture me."   
"But you wouldn't want me any other way," I replied smartly, slightly distracted by his hand. It felt so good…   
He laughed quietly and kissed the tip of my nose. "No, I wouldn't."   
"And you still have to answer."   
"Aww, come on…" He laughed and sighed at the same time as I just smiled at him. "It's kinda hard to tell… I won't deny I was interested in you from the first, but then you turned out to be a seishi like me, and that made everything different… I don't know. I think it was starting to show around the time you got drunk… but then… yeah, I think I probably realized it around the time I heard what happened, around when we found Karasuki… Yeah. That was when I realized I might've lost you forever, and it hurt, it hurt more than anything I've ever experienced."   
That long… he'd been hiding it from me for that long, waiting for me to make my own decision… He was perfect. He was worth all the torture I'd gone through, all the pain, real or imaginary… "I love you, Tokaki," I murmured, laying my head against his chest again. I never wanted to be apart from him again.   
"I know," he whispered back, removing the distracting hand from my hip to enfold me in his arms again.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
It was somewhat of a shock the next day to find the town exactly as I'd always known it to be and not celebrating the euphoria I was feeling within me. I walked with my head down, my hands folded behind me, a quiet smile on my face, a much different figure than the one that had left the Tamure shop the night before. Occasionally someone would call a greeting, or wave, and I just nodded in reply, that same quiet smile still lingering, unable to go away.   
And right next to me was the cause, the reason I was so happy… Tokaki had taken me home to change and untangle my hair, we'd grabbed the keys, and it was off to the shop in the early morning air, just as normal. He walked next to me, our steps matching, looking rather too happy himself. For once, we didn't talk; there wasn't any need for words.   
Suddenly I grinned mischievously as an idea popped into my mind, and I glanced up at him. He didn't seem to be expecting it - good. I giggled silently at the thought of the look on his face and put on a burst of speed, racing away from him as fast as I could, which was actually pretty fast. "Can't catch me!"   
He blinked after me dumbly for a minute, then his own answering grin spread across his face and he too sped up, and in a second both of us were running, me quite a ways in front of him, dodging people and leaping everything from dogs and cats to baskets of late fruit. I was laughing and he was calling playful threats after me just as if we were a pair of five year olds. Some people shrieked in alarm and jumped out of the way, some grabbed their children out of our path, some just laughed as I was doing. It was fun, it was exhilarating, it was _wonderful_.   
Since I had somewhat of a head start and I knew the streets better, I reached the shop first. I scrambled in my pocket and pulled out the key, trying desperately to unlock the door before he could get there. I could hear him coming up behind me, yelling loudly that he'd drop me in the first cold lake he found, and I shrieked happily as I finally got the door unlocked, wrenched it open, darted in, and slammed it in his face.   
I laughed triumphantly as he pounded on the door, listening to his very muffled demands to be let in, and I paid no attention to him whatsoever and walked into the backroom. Let him suffer, I'd open the door in a few minutes-   
"Surprise," he said, grabbing me around the waist from behind and pulling me to him. He kissed my neck and murmured "You didn't really think a door would stop me, did you?"   
"Tokaki!" I yelled, spinning around to face him. "What if somebody saw you?!"   
"No one did," he replied with his cocky grin.   
"But how can you be sure?!"   
"Didn't you realize? I know everything." And he kissed me again, his mouth covering mine, his arms holding me tight, and my own arms wrapped around his shoulders as I kissed him back, tasting the fire and the spirit that was there even in his kisses, going weak-kneed again… And then he started kissing my neck, several times, moving down to my shoulder, and I knew exactly what he wanted.   
"Ohhhh no," I said, pulling away and waving a finger in his face, grinning. "Not here. Not now. I have to work, you know."   
"But Suba-chan," he said pitifully, doing a very good impression of a starving dog begging for food.   
"No buts, now go do something constructive."   
He pouted for another minute before laughing and pushing the hair out of his face. "Oh, you are cruel… But all right, I'll go do something worthwhile. It's been a couple of days since I went back to the palace, I should get an update."   
"They haven't found Amefuri yet?" I asked, slightly worried.   
He shook his head. "Not yet. Last I heard Karasuki, Toroki, and Kokie had gone out searching, but they had to come back because the Kutou army spotted them."   
The first traces of real fear started to bloom in me, not fear for me, but fear for my friends. Was I really right, staying away like this? What if one of them got hurt, or died, and it was because I hadn't been there to help them? With me around people could remain healthy for a long time - but what would happen if I wasn't?   
Some of my anxiousness must have showed on my face, because Tokaki suddenly smiled and bent over to kiss my forehead gently. "Everyone's all right, you know. Toroki's sixth - well, make that fifth sense is amazing. They're not taking stupid risks, Amefuri's just very well-hidden."   
"All right… If you're sure…"   
"I am." He smiled at me again, cupping my face with his hand. "I'll be back tonight, at sunset, just as normal."   
I smiled up at him and he bent over for one last gentle, sweet kiss, then he took a step back and disappeared.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Just like the day before I had no idea how I made it through the day. I was able to focus on customers when they came in, but whenever I wasn't helping someone I ended up sitting in the back, staring dreamily into space and thinking about a certain white-haired, cocky guy. Aihara Chieko could have walked into the shop that day and I'd treat her as a long-lost friend.   
And I literally started dancing with joy when I realized the time had come and past for Noburo's usual visit - he only had enough time to drop in while he was supposed to be eating lunch. Maybe Tokaki's "joke" had really gotten rid of him for good. And even if that hadn't, I could probably _finally_ get rid of him myself. And, surprisingly, I didn't feel like yelling at him, throwing things at him, or trying to kill him. I now knew what he was feeling when he looked at me, if he really did love me as he professed to. But it had to hurt him, since his feelings weren't returned. Poor guy.   
But he didn't show up. Kiyome did though, during one of the stretches with no customers, again carrying her daughter. She took one look at me and could tell immediately that something was different. "You're in love."   
I squeaked and clapped a hand to either side of my face, which had gone phenomenally red for some reason. "Wh-Wh-What do you mean?"   
She laughed and shook her head. "Don't try to hide it Doulin-chan, I've been there, remember?" She smiled down at her daughter, taking a seat. "Still there, actually. There's nothing wrong with it - if the guy deserves you. Does he?" she demanded, turning suddenly sharp eyes on me.   
I couldn't help thinking of all the times he'd hit on me in the beginning, and the amount of times I'd had to smack him… But then when it really came down to it, and several times when it hadn't been that deep, he was the most caring, the most wonderful-   
She laughed, and I shook myself out of my reverie, looking at her quizzically, wondering what was so funny. She was laughing so hard she was almost crying, and she had to calm down a lot before she could talk. "No… No… I'm not laughing at you… but the look on your face!" She burst out laughing again, and I was half-worried she'd have a seizure. "You should have seen it… I never thought I'd see the day when _you_ would be reduced to a quivering love-struck girl!"   
I tried (very unsuccessfully) to appear insulted, but I gave in and started laughing with her. We laughed for a long time, because it was true. Most of my friends hadn't ever expected me to fall for a guy, since I had such high standards and idealized dreams. But I couldn't help it! He was perfect!   
"So…" she said, once we'd gotten our breath back. "What's he look like?"   
I flushed again. "Well… actually, you've seen him."   
She blinked, slightly surprised. "That guy who walks with you?" I nodded, and she smiled. "Well, he seems all right. What's his name?"   
"Tokaki," I said without thinking, then immediately realized my mistake and clapped my hands over my mouth, mentally cursing myself out.   
Kiyome was watching me, puzzled and thoughtful. "That sounds familiar… where have I…" her eyes widened as the answer dawned on her, and she squeaked. "Tokaki?! As in another Byakko seishi?!"   
I sighed and nodded. She wouldn't believe any lie, and I was horrible at telling them anyway. "Yeah, the same. Kiyome-chan _please_ don't tell anyone who he is. He likes being anonymous."   
"I won't, I promise. If what happened to you is any example…" She laid a hand on my arm and I smiled at her. I was lucky to have an understanding friend.   
Suddenly there was a loud crash from the backroom and I jumped, whirling, mentally praying nothing had been broken. Then came a barrage of curses in a couple of very familiar voices, and much shouting, and more crashing. I winced every time I heard one of the mini-explosions. That was going to cost us so much money…   
Suddenly Tokaki and Toroki came racing out of the room, making my jaw drop in astonishment. "What are you two doing here?!"   
"We have to go back! Now!" Tokaki was just about to physically pick me up when he noticed Kiyome and skidded to a stop. "Uhhhhhhhh… Uh… Um…"   
"It's all right," she said, standing up calmly and grinning. "I get the picture. But I do have something to tell you." Then she gave the baby to me and marched over to Tokaki, making his eyes widen to unbelievable proportions. She was a fairly short woman, but she definitely looked threatening as she stared up at him with her eyes narrowed, one finger pointing at his face. "If you don't treat her right, I give her full permission to beat you to a pulp. So you better. That's all." Then she calmly returned to me, retrieved her daughter, gave me a one-armed hug, and left the shop.   
"…Who was that?" Toroki asked after a moment. I had the insane urge to throw myself on him and hug him for all eternity; I hadn't realized I'd missed him so much until he spoke. "She seemed… quite forceful."   
"That was Kiyome… my best friend." I was just staring at them, holding myself back. _Don't do it… don't do it…   
Oh, what the hell._   
I charged forward and wrapped my arms around Toroki's neck, hugging him tightly and startling him to no end. Tokaki started to say something, but stopped in mid word and just left us alone. I was glad, so glad to see Toroki… to see my brother… And once he recovered he wrapped his own arms around me tightly. "Baka Subaru, you never had to run, don't you get that?"   
"I did, though," I replied. "I couldn't get better there… But here I could… But why are you two here?" I pulled back to look at both of them, confused. "Tokaki, you said you'd be back at sunset… it's nowhere near there. And Toroki, why are you here at all? You shouldn't know where I am…"   
"We have to go back, Subaru." Toroki relied, softly but firmly, somehow looking into my eyes even though he couldn't see my face. "You have to as well."   
"I do? But why? Isn't everything all right?"   
Tokaki shook his head, easily as serious as I've ever seen him. "No… Two days ago, the Kutou army surrounded the capital."   
I gasped, stunned.   
"They got across the desert somehow, and that other noble has definitely joined Taheiji now." I flinched slightly at the name, but other than that my reaction was one of fear for my friends and their families and the innocent people in the army's path. "If they take the capital, they've basically won. The emperor has asked us to either fight or find Amefuri as fast as we can. They've…" his voice stuck for a minute, and he had to clench his fists. Whatever was coming was not good. "They've been destroying the villages in their path… burning homes… crops… refugees are flooding west… We have to stop them!" he yelled. "We have to stop them before they kill everyone! You need to come with us, we can't do it without you!"   
Go… go back?   
I knew it was selfish, I knew, beyond anything else at that point, I was being incredibly selfish - but my first instinct was to refuse. While the thought of the city no longer bothered me, the palace still made me cringe, and I would be no good to them if I couldn't control myself, hiding in a corner somewhere and crying. I would again be a burden on them, and while I knew I'd cost them some extra anguish by leaving, they'd gotten over that once they knew I was all right… but if I went back I'd be a burden to them…   
Then, in front of my eyes appeared an image, a grisly, horrible image… The kids I'd seen Tokaki playing with, Inoue and Kokie's uncle, the servants at the palace - all lined up in front of the wall around the city, all with arrows pointed at their hearts… the children crying, Tsumura-san doing his best to keep them calm, the servants shaking with fear… and the Kutou soldiers firing…   
We had to stop it. I understood. I finally understood what it meant to be a seishi, for any god, not just Byakko. It was more than just protecting the miko, finding the other seishi. It was more than just calling the god. It was being willing to help in any way possible. It was being willing to subject oneself to the ultimate torture for the good of the people one was supposed to protect. It was to be willing to die, if necessary.   
I finally understood.   
"Let's go," I said quietly.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Now do you understand why this thing got nicknamed Sap Chap? ~grins~ I TOLD ya if you hung around long enough it'd happen!   
I kinda avoided the entire family issue (although I didn't realize I was doing that when I wrote it, it just happened that way), but I made sure to resolve it later. Wait around and you'll see! ^_^   
If I can't update any more, this is a good place to stop for awhile. I'm gonna try, I promise! But if I _can_ update, I don't think I'll be doing it as often - probably go back to the "one post a week" deal. In fact, it's almost certain I'll do that - I'm running out of pre-written chapters! ^^;;;;;;;;   
I love you all, and I promise to try and keep things going while I'm away from home base. See you next time! ~hugs~   



	23. Chapter 22: Homecoming

  
DISCLAIMER: Word wrap is god in Notepad. Seriously. Me no own.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: ~ducks to avoid various flying things which no doubt can hurt her~ Hey, it's not my fault I haven't updated in more than a month! Well, more like two months really... Well, not all my fault... Hey, I didn't ask ff.n to crash for a month! But admittedly, I could have done some editing and stuff during that time. Well, maybe. Public computer terminals make me reallyreallyreallyreally nervous and I always feel like someone's looking over my shoulder! Which I hate! I get sooooooooooooooo nervous when I feel like that!   
But here I am! Sheesh, one week remaining for me at the program, then I go home. I'm fairly relieved to be going back, because I want my animals! I want my friends! I want some privacy!   
Can you tell I'm an only child?   
Note: home now. Now I want to be back at my program with my friends.   
Anyway, I love you all! ~huggles mightily~ While I think I may have turned some of you into permanent saps, if you weren't already, there's gonna be much moderation of sappiness from here on in. Not that there _won't_ be any (with Tokaki around, something's ALWAYS bound to happen) but it typically won't be a good two-thirds of the chapter now. Which is good, 'cause that means I get to be evil in the leftover space! ^___^   
And now, for question answering. There aren't many this time as everyone seemed to melt, but let's go through the routine anyway. Okay Mikka-chan, here's your chapter-ly dose of Byakko info: in the anime, Tokaki is 109, Subaru is 107, and Tatara is 110. I don't know how they live that long or look comparitively young, but I'm assuming it's because they're seishi (seems like a reasonable explanation to me). Shifan, the girl who lives with them, is not actually their daughter. Suba-chan and Tokaki adopted her a year before, when Shifan's own father died. That help? ^_^ Omni-chan, don't worry about Noburo... what will happen will happen ~cackles evilly~ I got plans for that boy. And we're definitely over the half-way point, and have been for awhile, I think... I don't know, I'm trying to work on 28 and even where I am now I can't see it ending in less than five chapters. Probably more, especially since I want to carry it past the summoning and all. And there's the side stories people want, and something else I'm cooking up... This could well last for over a year. It's already almost 10 months old! ^_^ And yes, the plot's coming back.   
Natsuki, you are THE BEST girl.   
Thank you everyone for reviewing and fighting through the troubles so you could read this! I love you all! ~glomps and lets them read~   
  
**Translation note:** chichiue equals "my royal father"   
  


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We didn't leave immediately, though. I wasn't about to leave all my clothing, or Sora, for that matter, at my home, so first Tokaki took the three of us back there. I quickly gathered my things, since there wasn't really much, as Tokaki introduced Toroki to my mother and explained what happened. I could only hear snippets of the conversation, but I knew my mother well enough to know she'd be incredibly nervous and concerned for my safety - and everyone else's, as well. But she promised not to say a word about it, as the emperor had ordered the news be kept secret for as long as possible. He didn't want the rest of the country to panic. I personally thought he was living in a dream world; it was almost impossible to keep something of that magnitude quiet. But he had managed to conceal the news of Suzuno's arrival…   
Tokaki took Toroki back to the palace as I finished packing, and reappeared almost immediately at my side. I leaned against him for support, still not entirely sure I was making the right decision, and he took my hand in his, squeezing it gently. I took strength from that small gesture, asked him for one more minute, and went to say goodbye to my family.   
It wasn't as bad as last time, because I wasn't leaving after a huge all-encompassing family fight, but in some ways it seemed to be more final. My mother knew exactly what had happened and what was going on, but she managed to control herself and just hugged me tightly, telling me to be careful and take care of myself. I hated deceiving Masame, but she was too young to know everything. We let her think it was simply time for me to return, and she smiled happily and said she knew I'd be famous and she expected a big present the next time I came back. She was sad to be losing me, and Tokaki as well, but she tried not to let it show. I almost wished I could bring her back with me… Everyone would love her, and she'd have six new siblings, including Inoue, to dote on her. But it was just too dangerous.   
Once we said our good-byes we walked out to the stable and carefully arranged my things on Sora's tack, so nothing would fall off and be left behind. I glanced up at Tokaki once more and was startled to see a look of intense concentration on his face, which was a little paler than normal. "Tokaki? Are you all right?"   
"Hai, hai, just… just let me concentrate."   
I shut my mouth, more worried than ever but knowing he'd just get annoyed if I kept pestering him.   
"Ready?" I nodded and he took my hand in his, placed his other on Sora's neck and mane, and squeezed his eyes shut.   
The whiteness seemed very reluctant to appear and surround us this time, which made me ten times as worried as I'd been. But before I could tell him to stop, it dropped suddenly away, revealing the guest wing at the palace - and Tokaki fell to the ground beside me, his face gray and slack.   
"TOKAKI!" I screamed, dropping to my knees and pulling on him until his head rested in my lap. "TOKAKI!"   
"Subaru, calm down! He just overdid it - stupid idiot, he _knew_ that would happen." Toroki had apparently been waiting for us to reappear, and he slowly made his way over to us, managing not to trip on anything, and sat down next to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "He needs rest now, so all you can do is let him sleep. Remember when it happened to you?"   
I wasn't too fond of remembering it. The enforced idleness had nearly driven me crazy. "Will he be out for three days like I was?"   
"I don't know. He might be. It's probable. He probably won't be _out_ out, but he'll need to rest for awhile. Five teleportations over a distance that takes two days on horseback, three of them with passengers, and all the other small ones he did today are definitely too many for him to take."   
"Baka Tokaki…" I smoothed a spike of hair out of his eye. Apparently something in my tone tipped him off, because Toroki gave me, what was for him, a quizzical look. Even though he couldn't see, I blushed. This was one aspect of things I hadn't considered: what would the others think of our relationship? "Come on, let's get him to his roo-OOF!"   
I was nearly knocked over, yet again, as something hit my back hard. "Suba-chan!"   
I was so happy to hear that voice I nearly cried. I twisted around and Suzuno's smiling face, framed by her long pale braids, came into view, and suddenly we were laughing and hugging and babbling at the same time about how much we'd missed each other, Tokaki still half-draped across me. When Suzuno had calmed down enough to take notice of other things, she gasped. "Tokaki! What happened to him?!"   
"Same thing I did a while ago, overreached himself. Help me?" Together and with Toroki's help we managed to half-carry, half-drag him to his room and lay him on the bed. Funny, he hadn't seemed so _heavy_ the night before…   
_Stop it brain, or you're going to turn into a female one of him._   
Someone cleared their throat and I looked away from Tokaki's face - _my love's face_ - to meet Suzuno's knowing eyes. _Daaaaaaaaaaaamnit!_ I silently screamed as I felt the blush rise in my face again. But that issue could wait till later; there was something more important to address. "Suzuno, I… I'm sorry for-"   
She cut me off with a shake of her head, then watched me seriously, anxiously. "Did it help?"   
_You don't know how much._ "Yes."   
"Then it's all right." She hugged me again, and I hugged her in return, happy and relieved to be back among people who knew - and could still accept me. She laughed slightly. "Now, if it hadn't helped then it would've been another story…"   
I smiled and stroked her hair, feeling once again as if she was my sister. "I'm still sorry… Tokaki said your fever came back, but you look as fine as ever now."   
"Don't I though!" She bounced back, grinning, displaying exactly the same energy and spunk she had as when I first met her, and I laughed. "No thanks to you! Well, sort of, they told me about how everyone sat with me until I was awake again. Including you."   
"But I couldn't do anything-"   
"No one could, stop blaming yourself." Suzuno raised her hand and placed it over my mouth, cutting off my words with a smile. "None of it is your fault, you aren't a burden on any of us, and you are going to be happy from now on. I'm your miko, you have to do what I say."   
"Oh really?" I mumbled around her hand.   
"Yes really."   
"Oh no! Sora!" I whirled, remembering I'd left the horse standing in the middle of the garden - and was brought up short as a small, slight figure in odd clothing came through the door, holding my bag.   
"Do not worry, I have asked one of the servants to take her to the stables." Karasuki handed me my bag with a slightly uneasy smile. "I thought you might perhaps require this."   
I took the bag silently, looking at it, then looked up at Karasuki again. She was still watching me, like a person regarding an animal that might attack. She didn't know me… She didn't. I'd been a complete mess since the time she had appeared. My barriers had made it impossible for us to know each other… But I could fix that. I dropped the bag on the table and hugged Karasuki tightly, and she hugged me back, almost like a mother, and I knew she felt the same.   
"What's all the commotion?" a new voice asked from the door. "Everyone out there is so exci-SUBARU!" I was grabbed away from Karasuki and nearly cut in half again as Tatara ran forward and picked me up, hugging me tightly and spinning me around off the ground. I yelped and hung on, as he definitely looked about to drop me, and he set me down with a laugh. "When did you get back?"   
"Just a few minutes ago, and do that to Suzuno next time, you scared me out of my wits!"   
"Someone has to, I suppose." He smiled, his long ponytail draped over his shoulder. "You're all right, aren't you?"   
I nodded seriously. "How's everything else? With the army and all?"   
He sighed, gave me a final squeeze and let me go so he could sit in a chair. The rest of us found places to sit as well, all of us anxious to hear the update. "About as well as can be expected, I guess. The walls are holding them off, and then there's almost a solid wall of trees and villages stretching to the north and south that it would take them ages to get through, so they can't get farther west easily. It looks like they've decided to settle where they are until they can wear us down. Estimates put their forces at a little less than twice the number of troops in our armies." It was clear this piece of news was new, because everyone gasped, roared, or denied it in various ways. He waited for us to get quiet. "I've been talking to Heika-sama and Ebizo. It looks like if we want to search for Amefuri we're going to need to cut a path straight through the soldiers. And if we try to do that, it's almost certain we'll die. There are just too many of them."   
"So then how do we find him - or her?" Toroki asked. "I've been trying, but I can't pick up anything with all the interference around. I can't even call up the map vision any more. And none of the dreams I've had have given me any clue as to _who_ we're looking for."   
"We don't know." Tatara sighed and brought his hand up to rub at his eyes. The movement made me see just how tired he was. I mentally vowed to find a way to make him get a good night's sleep for once. "We just don't know. Our best hope at the moment is that whoever Amefuri is will just show up, show their symbol, and be let in. But if they haven't before now…"   
"There is a good chance they either do not know about the symbol, do not know about the miko, or do not wish to be found," Karasuki finished for him. We were that close, able to finish each other's thoughts. "I do not like the sound of any one of those options myself."   
"None of us do," Suzuno said. "But now that we have everyone else again, we can help the others. Yujiro-san said his group needed all the help they could get. Oh, you didn't hear." She turned to me with a smile. "Yujiro was made a captain. He's ecstatic. But at the same time he's about to lament himself into an early grave."   
"He's what?"   
"Honestly Suzuno, you put things so strangely." Toroki grinned across the room at her, and she stuck her tongue out in return, but she was still grinning. "What the Demon Miko means to say is that Yujiro-san got stuck training a bunch of the new recruits for his wing - and according to him they're the saddest bunch of soldiers ever put on this earth."   
I couldn't hide a giggle. "That sounds like him, all right. But why is he still here? I thought he would've wanted to get back to his family."   
"Well, which would you pick?" Tatara asked. "Not chancing it and fighting against people you severely dislike, or trying to sneak through what is now your enemy camp and then cross an entire desert alone?"   
When put that way it was very obvious. A faraway husband was better than a dead one any day. I decided a change of subject was in order and cast around for an idea; my eyes landed on Tokaki's prone form. Maybe it was just my hopeful imagination, but I thought he looked a bit less gray already. "I wonder how he's going to like being restricted to bed for two days…"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
He hated it, of course.   
Thankfully he didn't have much strength to protest. He would barely have the strength to sit up for the first day, and on the second he would barely be able to get out of bed. Remembering my own experience with overreaching your powers I increased the bed rest to three days, which he didn't like at all. It was true, he'd be able to walk on the third day, but if he was anything like me he'd still be tired and weak, and an extra day of rest would probably take care of it.   
For some reason the others left most of the nursing to me. When Kokie came back from visiting his uncle that night he'd welcomed me back as enthusiastically as the rest had, but then was pulled aside by Suzuno for a "private talk." I desperately hoped it wasn't for the reason I thought it was, but there was little I could do to control the topic. When the "talk" was over he'd given me a slightly puzzled look, then gone on about his business. I'd been getting several of those puzzled, slightly surprised, or studying looks. I made myself ignore them and take care of Tokaki.   
He was awake at the end of the day we got back, and by then his room had cleared out as the others went to find something to eat. He glanced around, his eyes cloudy, and then focused on me. "Suba-chan?" Even his voice was weak, completely unlike normal. I was perched in a chair right next to the bed, a hot bowl of soup in my hand that had been kindly provided by Suzuno. Another bowl lay nearby for Tokaki. "How'd I get in here?"   
"You passed out outside." I smiled down at him. "You're lucky you did it today, or I'd get to yell at you like you yelled at me for the same thing."   
"What would make today any different? You torture me anyway." He managed a smile in my direction, and started trying to push himself up into a sitting position. I was standing in a flash, helping him up, propping him up against the headboard as he protested feebly. "I don't… need help."   
"Yes you do, now swallow your pride so you can swallow this soup." He shut up, although it was probably from lack of energy instead of obeying my command. I retrieved his dinner and sat on the edge of the bed, knowing what would come next. "Don't try to lie to me, I've been through this. Do you have enough strength to feed yourself?" I would severely doubt his answer if he said yes.   
He started to nod, but caught the warning look in my eyes and shook his head slowly. I smiled… so stubborn and prideful. I was pretty sure I was the only person he'd admit being too weak to… Well, maybe not, but I was at the top of a short list. The night grew darker as I helped him eat, then watched him drop off to sleep again.   
The next morning he could sit up easier and once again could hold things and feed himself, even though he was a little shaky. The others periodically checked up on us, including Inoue, who was as happy as the rest of them to see me back. Tokaki put up with our happy gossiping very well: he only told us to shut up twice.   
He slept constantly, but every time he woke he seemed a little stronger. The second night he could speak fine, but the rest of his body was still too weak to think about standing and moving around. The next day all seven of us gathered around to watch his first post-faint steps. Tatara helped him stand, and, while he was still shaky, with his friend's help he was able to walk the length of the veranda outside and back, returning to much applause and cheering. He gave us a cocky smile, went into his room, and fell asleep again.   
While he was recovering the others visited us frequently, but just as frequently they had meetings with the emperor and Ebizo and the top men in the military. It was puzzling to no end: for some reason the Kutou hadn't attacked yet. They had most of the city completely encircled, but they hadn't moved. The only reasons anyone could think of for them to do what they were doing were they were sizing us up or some rumors had reached them about Sairou having a secret weapon of some sort. It was all very confusing to me and I understood about one word in ten, but I was just glad they'd held off attacking.   
On the third day Tokaki kept saying he was fine and he could get up and move around, but I simply refused to let him up. We loved each other, but we were both incredibly stubborn. We spent most of that day shouting at each other, and it culminated with me literally sitting on his stomach to keep him down and then smacking him mercilessly when he tried to be a pervert again. Kokie looked in at all the noise we were making, burst out laughing, and was barely able to drag himself back to his room because of it.   
I glanced down at Tokaki, who had that pervert grin of his plastered on his face. "I hope you're pleased."   
"Oh, very. Come here, you." He definitely had some of his strength back, as he proved by pulling me down, ignoring my yelp of surprise, to lie next to him on the bed, one arm around my shoulders and the other hand's fingers threading themselves repeatedly through my hair. "We haven't gotten much of a chance to do this, have we?"   
"Well it's not my fault you overextended yourself and passed out," I replied primly, being deliberately exasperating.   
"Torturer."   
I just smiled. It was so comfortable, laying there with him, my head pillowed on his shoulder, his hand brushing my cheek slightly every time his fingers tangled themselves in my hair. It was so safe, so warm… "Tokaki?"   
"Yes love?"   
I smiled again at the pleasant thrill that ran through me at that word, coming from him. "What if someone were to walk in here right now and see this?"   
"Why shouldn't they? We've got nothing to hide," he replied, nuzzling my neck. "Are you uncomfortable with it or something?"   
His touch was making it somewhat hard to think. "No, just… unused to it, I guess." Make that very hard. It was difficult to resist the impulses that rose in me at his touch, but I knew it wasn't the time for any of that. He still wasn't strong enough.   
He seemed to think somewhat opposite to me, though. I could feel him moving next to me and I gasped slightly when I felt, of all things, _teeth_ on my ear. "I suspect you'll get used to it soon, then," he murmured. "I am already."   
"Oh, you." I playfully swatted at him, which he avoided, laughing. "You're so exasperating."   
"You're not exactly an angel yourself," he replied with a grin.   
Then there came a snicker which definitely was not either of ours.   
We both sat up suddenly, facing the door, my mouth open a little in surprise. Suzuno, Kokie, and Karasuki were all out there, no longer being silent as they had been discovered, laughing and clapping at the same time, looking about ready to fall over. I looked at Tokaki and was not at all surprised to see his mischievous grin back again. "Let's give the people what they came for," he murmured, and kissed me hard, wrapping both his arms around my shoulders. I laughed against his lips and kissed him back, hooking my arms around his neck. Our own force made us topple back to lie on the bed again. There were whoops and cheers and catcalls all around us, and they just made it better. Our friends were happy for us.   
"Excuse me a minute," I said breathlessly as I pulled back. He let me go, that grin still on his face, and I got up and calmly walked to the door - and shut it in their faces.   
I could still hear them cheering as I returned to sit on the edge of the bed. "Now, where were we?" I said in the most proper voice I could find.   
He laughed and pulled me down to him again.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
A couple of days later I was walking in one of the gardens, taking a moment to enjoy the peace before the fighting began. I was doing that every day now, finding small moments to savor nature and the beauty it produced, before those visions would be replaced by fighting and bloodshed. I wanted to remember there were always things worth fighting for and things to return to after the fighting ended.   
A flutter of movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention as I was bent over inspecting a short plant I didn't know the name for, and I straightened, turning my head in the movement's direction. A small figure with pale hair was just darting around a corner, and being the insanely curious person I was, I decided to follow it.   
Since I wasn't spying on anyone this time I walked normally around the corner, glancing around for the small figure. It took a minute before I spotted it: sitting on a bench, next to a man I recognized immediately as the emperor.   
Heika-sama seemed to sense someone watching him, because he turned around and looked at me. "Ah, Subaru!" he called, waving one graceful hand in a gesture to come closer. "I'm happy to see you feeling so well again."   
"Thank you, Heika," I replied as I walked to him. The small figure turned out to be a girl with pale pigtails draping over each shoulder, watching me interestedly. I watched her back, deciding to play a little game. She blinked, and I blinked. She tilted her head, and so did I in a mirror image of her. She giggled and held up her right hand, and I giggled and held up my left.   
I heard Heika-sama suppressing laughter to our side. "Subaru, I don't believe you've met my daughter, have you?"   
"Daughter?" I was slightly surprised, but then I realized how much sense it made. He was in his mid-thirties, married, and the country needed an heir. Of course he'd have children. And hadn't Suzuno said something about it? "No I haven't. What's your name?" I asked her with a smile.   
"Shioko," she replied promptly. She was incredibly cute, and looked to be around six or seven. On closer inspection I could tell that she had her father's eyes and skin, but the rest of her seemed to come from her mother, whoever that was.   
"Her trouble-making brothers should be around here somewhere as well," he commented, glancing around once again. "I just hope they're not being destructive again…"   
"Cause if they are you get to make them clean the stables!" Shioko piped up with a happy grin, clapping her hands. "And they haaaaaaate that!"   
I grinned and knelt down next to her. "Well that's smart of them then. I think anyone'd hate it if they could." It was so nice that the royal family behaved like normal people. While I'd never heard of princes of the realm being forced to do menial labor as punishments, it was something enough common people (including my parents) utilized, and most likely helped them avoid having large egos.   
"Oh, here they come now," Heika-sama remarked idly.   
I was just about to ask him what he meant, as I couldn't see any children anywhere, but the question died on my lips as what I assumed to be two boys came racing around the corner of the guest wing. "Assumed" because it was kind of hard to tell, they were moving so fast. The second one took a running leap and tackled the first, and they began to roll on the ground, punching and wrestling and kicking and generally being hyperactive boys.   
Shioko watched them for a minute, then turned to her father. "Can you make them clean the stables for destroying each other?"   
He laughed and ruffled her hair, standing up. "I wish I could. Will you two excuse me for a second?" We both nodded, and he calmly approached the dust cloud. He regarded it for a minute, then cleared his throat and shouted a word I couldn't understand. Whatever he said had an immediate effect on the two of them; they sprang apart and jumped to their feet, breathing heavily but standing with their backs straight as boards. Heika just smiled. "You can calm down." They both heaved sighs of relief and relaxed, then proceeded to inspect the various injuries they'd collected. The older boy, who looked about eleven, was sporting a black eye, while the boy who appeared to be ten or so was massaging a bruise on his arm. Boys will be boys, royalty or not… "Come over here, I have someone for you to meet."   
"Who is it?" the younger one inquired, trying to peer around his father to catch a glimpse of the new person.   
"You'll have to ask them yourself." And he led the now-calm boys back to our bench. "Subaru, this is Isei-" he placed a hand on the elder's shoulder "-and Motoki." He ruffled the other one's hair. Motoki jerked out of the way and tried to flatten his hair, giving his father an annoyed look.   
The family resemblance between all three was strong. Both boys had their father's hair, which was dark red, and Motoki had his eyes just like Shioko did. Isei's eyes were wider than the others, but his facial structure was definitely his father's. All four of them were dressed in clothing that, while obviously made with fine fabrics, was sturdy, serviceable, and practical. I hated to think of the state of imperial robes and arraignment after one of the boys' fights… which is probably why they didn't wear them all the time.   
"Are you a seishi?" Isei asked, watching me closely. "Like Kokie and Tatara?"   
I nodded, standing. "That's right."   
"Wow! How many do we have now, chichiue?" Motoki asked, craning his neck in the direction of his father.   
"Six. And we'll find the seventh soon." He smiled down at his children. "Now take your sister and go inside, it's time for your lessons."   
"Hai!" the boys chorused. They each took one of their sister's hands and lifted her off the bench, grinning at her giggling, and let themselves be dragged inside by the tiny girl.   
"They seem like good kids," I remarked as they disappeared from sight.   
"A little rambunctious, but generally good. Would you join me for a walk?" He held out his arm politely, and grinned when I hesitated, not at all sure this was the type of thing one does with royalty. "I promise, I won't bite."   
I nervously laid my hand on his extended arm and we set off at a stroll.   
The gardens had been beautiful when I'd first arrived at the palace, in early fall, but with the approach of winter and the dropping temperatures they had become half-barren. Most of the trees had already lost their leaves, and those that stubbornly clung to their branches were withered and brown. There were hardly any native flowers blooming. But there were still patches of green and spots of color. The gardeners were masters; they'd shipped in plants from the northern parts of Hokkan, where the temperature was rarely warm enough to go without a coat, and planted them so they would flourish in our relatively mild winters. It was those plants I inspected every day, reminding myself of the beauty of nature, and those we walked among now.   
"Subaru," Heika spoke suddenly, "don't be offended. But I must know why you decided to leave."   
I glanced at him sharply, startled, and didn't reply for a minute. Soon I could feel that piercing, studying stare on the back of my neck… "I had to. If you knew what I'd been through-"   
"But I do know," he broke in smoothly. "Suzuno told me the entire story after we found you gone. I don't blame you for anything - I just wish to know why the palace wasn't far enough removed from it to help you cope."   
"I… I don't know," I replied truthfully. I really didn't know. I had no certain idea why it was so hard to forget here. "Maybe it was being around people who knew. I don't know why… I just couldn't get better here."   
"Did anyone know what happened where you went?"   
"I told… one person." I didn't want to say I'd told my mother, and reveal I'd returned home. "No one else. They didn't look at me differently there, with pity, like they did here… For a while they didn't know I was a seishi. I was… able to forget it, I guess. Have somewhat of a normal life again."   
"My dear Subaru," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "if having a normal life is what you want, you probably won't be able to have it for a while yet. But…" he held up his hand to stop my protest. "If you ever need to feel like you do not have the obligations of a seishi, then you can go out into the city. You don't need to tell anyone where you're going or when you'll return. You can be simply Doulin for a little while. Is that all right?"   
"Y-Yes…"   
He smiled at me once more. "Thank you for helping me… and the country."   
"No… thank you."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
We six seishi and Suzuno had dinner together in Tokaki's room. He was fully recovered, and proved it by kissing me yet again in front of the entire assembly. Not that I minded, of course.   
"What am I going to do with you?" I asked as he pulled away, once again a bit breathless, disregarding the cheers and laughter at Toroki's comment to knock it off and eat or the food'd get cold.   
"Learn to live with it," he replied promptly, then dodged as I tried to whack him over the head.   
We chattered happily all throughout the meal, celebrating yet another day without fighting. We knew there couldn't be too many of those left, and we were determined to enjoy it as long as possible.   
"Ne, Suba-chan," Tokaki said when we were almost done, "have you gone back to the library since you got back? To look at that book?"   
I blinked at the question in confusion, then groaned and hit my forehead with the heel of my hand.   
"Subaru-san, are you all right?" Kokie asked from across the table.   
"Yeah… Just realized what an idiot I was…" I quickly explained to them the project I'd had and had completely forgotten about when I'd run, describing not only what I'd found out but also how I'd first learned about it, with barely a waver in my voice. "…so I'm going to finish looking through that book to see if it has anything useful."   
"Hmm… It might not, since it deals with the Genbu seishi, but it's always worth a try," Toroki said next to me. "Why don't you look in the morning?"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
I ended up taking his advice and returned to the library after a good night's sleep (though it wasn't in my own bed…), feeling better than I ever had when I approached that familiar door. I pulled it open, listening to the customary creak, and inside found the same aging man kneeling at the same table, writing the same types of documents as always. He looked up at the noise of the door, and his face broke into a smile.   
"Subaru-chan! I had despaired of ever seeing you here again."   
I smiled back, glad to know I hadn't been forgotten. "I had to… do some things. Where did you put the books I was looking at?"   
He smiled again and gestured with his brush, indicating a place further into the room. "Right where you left them. Your table is still set up."   
I thanked him and began meandering my way through the shelves, hopping over the random scroll that was lying on the floor. When I finally reached my table I saw it almost exactly as I had left it. The book, which I'd dropped when Tokaki hauled me to my feet to go see Suzuno, was lying closed on the table, and the translation scroll was right beside it, rolled closed. The other scrolls and books were still in their piles along the edge. My ink and brush had been taken away, but they were easy to get again, and my notes were lying next to the book. Everything was covered in a month's worth of dust, but that was easy to take care of. I knelt on the floor again, getting settled, then carefully brushed the dust off the translation scroll and the surrounding table and opened it. Then I picked up the book, dusted it as well, and began flipping the pages to where I'd left off, somewhere in the third month, when they'd had five of the seishi (all except Urumiya and Namame), and began reading again.   
I was completely absorbed in the story in front of me, following through the discovery of the last two seishi, and finally the calling of Genbu. I held my breath unconsciously as I read about it… and then I saw something that made the color drain from my face. I bent closer to the book and read it over again, and again, and again, just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, but when I opened them the words were still there, still the same. "Oh no… no…" I breathed, totally unwilling to believe what I was seeing. "No… It-It can't be…"   
And then I was grabbing both the book and the scroll and racing out of there, not hearing the librarian call after me, running in the direction of Suzuno's room.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: What did she find what did she find what did she find?!?!?!?! Mwa ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa, stay turned to see! ~cackles evily~   
If ya can't tell, there WILL still be sap sometimes ^_~ It's just more like "happy sap" then "sap sap," and it usually won't make up the greater part of an entire chapter. Hope ya like it!   
This is your weekly PSA: for some reason ff.n doesn't seem to support the use of "less than" signs (shift and comma key) in its reviews - it looks like some reviews last time got cut off after people tried to use them. I think it tries to make anything with that sign an HTML tag, so peeps might want to avoid using them in reviews. Hey! Maybe the reviews actually accept HTML at last! I think I shall try that...   
Once again, sorry about the huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge span of time between chapters! Thanks everyone for sticking around! Love you all! ~hugs~   



	24. Chapter 23: Hell

  
DISCLAIMER: I own some seriously freakin' long notes ABOUT FY, not FY itself. Get it?   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Explanation time. And it's gonna take awhile.   
Maybe I just know too much about FY for my own good. I incorporate all these small details I've found out through intense research into my stories and then expect other people to know them. I really need to watch it.   
I don't _mind_ explaining though!   
Okay, let's get started. First, Okuda Takiko. Takiko was Genbu no Miko (Hikitsu and Tomite, who show up in episode 34, were two of her seishi) 110 years, book time, before Suzuno became Byakko no Miko. She summoned the beast god, used a wish to protect Hokkan, then the second to send her home, leaving the third unused. _She didn't actually die in the book world._ Genbu tried to follow her to the real world, making that big crater you see in the anime (they call it "Genbu grotto" or something like that). When she got there time passed (anywhere from a day to a week probably, I don't know, but I'm not wagering on it being long) and her father saw she was being devoured. He killed her to stop her pain, then killed himself. If you wanna see my take on the seishi side of that, *shameless plug* go check out my story "Together..." about Hikitsu and Tomite, and please remember I made all that up. How this canonically ties in with Suzuno: Okuda Einosuke (Takiko's father) and Ohsugi Takao (Suzuno's father) were best friends. Einosuke left the book and a letter explaining everything that had happened with it, and probably some other stuff, to Takao when he died. Suzuno somehow found the book (I don't know how much later, whatever's in my story is made up by me) and got pulled in and became Byakko no Miko.   
About the book that Subaru found. Please remember I made all this up, so don't think any of this is canonical. She's able to read it fairly fast now because she got used to translating, and the book is actually about half-old laungauge, half-new language, so she doesn't have to do as much work as she did with everything else. And it's not very detailed, mostly just quick notes on things. Hmm, I think that's all...   
Sanomi, that's a very interesting theory that never crossed my mind. Who knows, you might be right! That would certainly explain a few things, like how they look young. The spell she ends up casting on Tatara IS to keep his body physically young, so it's definitely a possibility.   
Lib-chan, I'm NOT that good! ~blushblushblushblushblush~ Although it's kinda funny that me and Roku-chan have sparring bouts over who's worse (I say me and she says her ^_^ I'm right). I wanna be that good; it's my long-term goal. Oh, and I LOVED all I did while I was gone (well, not _all_, but a good 95% of it). It was so worth it. You wouldn't think something educational would be, especially not in summer, but this WAS. SO awesome. Public school is gonna be so hard to stomach now...   
Mikka-chan, long reviews are perfectly okay! ^_^ And I'm perfectly happy to shamelessly display my knowledge. I worked hard to get it, so why shouldn't I pass it on? I'm just glad you like this story! And I didn't even start thinking about pre-carnations (to coin a phrase) until you brought something up! ^_^ So I don't think pre-Nakago'll make an appearance. Oh yeah, and as with all my stories, don't expect a guarantee on any character's safety. Even my main ones.   
Kryssa, thank god for cherry-flavored candy ~grins~ Seriously, I had more Blow-Pops and chery-flavored suckers and Jolly Ranchers and Lifesaver etc than I had all last year. See, my weakness! Or one of them ^_^ And I wouldn't ditch you! Serious! Just had some problems with computer privacy --;;;;   
CLAMPraven, stop saying you're late for updates! ~thwaps~ The only one I've seen you been late for is R&R 15 (THAT was late, by a month and a half). You almost never are, don't worry!   
Natsuki, watch your mail ^_~   
~grins innocently~ Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I thought you guys'd LIKE the happy-sap. Most of you seemed to (And Sano-kun and J. Liha, you get the co-Crack Me Up Award of the Week). Yep, she finally realized what was up with him and figured out her own feelings! I'm so proud of her! ~sniffs and wipes away a tear~ And at the same time, they're progressing kinda fast, but what do you expect with Tokaki? ^^;;;;;   
  


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"_Suzuno!_" I cried, bursting in the door to her room. She wasn't there. I looked around wildly for one second, insanely thinking that she may have been hiding in the tiny shadows, then turned and raced away for the next most likely place she'd be - Tatara's room.   
No.   
Karasuki's. No.   
Kokie's. No.   
Toroki's. No.   
Tokaki's. No.   
Mine. No.   
I paused, leaning against the wall of my room, closing my eyes and trying to slow my breath. I had to calm down… It wasn't immediate… it was incredibly important, but it wasn't so urgent that I needed to go into spasms of panic. What I needed to do was calm down, find Suzuno, and talk this out with her.   
I straightened and took a deep breath, trying to logically work out where she - or any of them, really - could be. _All right, she's most likely to be with Tatara. And Tatara's most likely to be- Baka Subaru._ I headed for the gardens as fast as I could.   
It took a bit of searching, but I finally found them, sitting on a bench in one of the gardens, next to a small pond, sharing a sweet kiss. I winced, not wanting to break in and have them think I was spying on their private time, so I quietly backed up a few steps, then deliberately made a lot of noise as I ran through the plants. By the time I came in sight of them again they'd stood and were looking inquisitively in my direction.   
"Suzuno! Look, I found this." I shoved the book at her, and she bit her lip, looking slightly guilty. "What is it?"   
"I can't read your writing…"   
I'd forgotten that little detail, and I felt myself blush faintly with embarrassment at my lapse in memory. "All right… here. You better sit down." She did, watching me in a puzzled manner, her left hand in Tatara's right. I took a breath and began to read, slowly again, pausing to make the necessary translations. "'Today the miko and seishi… performed the god-calling… ceremony. From all… accounts, it was a most… spectacular sight. However, after, Takiko-sama-'"   
"Takiko?!" she cried, leaping to her feet, suddenly pale. "What Takiko?!"   
"Okuda Takiko-sama… Genbu no Miko. Why?"   
"I… I knew her." She was trembling visibly, her eyes wide and unfocused, looking past me. I glanced at Tatara helplessly and saw a similar look on his face. "Does this mean… Does this mean Takiko-chan was here, too? In this world? Was she a miko also, like me?"   
The bench wasn't large enough for three, and I knew Suzuno shouldn't be standing. I gently pushed her back down to sit - and she hardly noticed what I was doing, still focused on whatever the name had brought up. Tatara put an arm around her shoulders, gently pulling her to lean against his shoulder. "Subaru," he said, sounding more than a bit worried, "what does all this mean?"   
"Nothing good." I knelt on the ground next to them and found my place again, marking it with my finger and holding the translation scroll open with my other hand. "…'Takiko-sama seemed to be in great pain, and… fainted. When she awoke, she… claimed she felt as if she were being eaten… alive.'"   
I heard Tatara gasp again, and a hand gripped my shoulder hard. I could almost feel his panic. "What did she say?!"   
"She said she felt like she was being eaten alive after she called Genbu. I don't know if that was just because it was Genbu or if it was because she coupled with a god… but if it's the latter… what do we do?" I looked up at him helplessly again, he returned my look, and we both turned to Suzuno.   
She was still pale, staring at the ground. "So that's why…"   
"Why what, Suzu-chan?" I asked quietly, almost dreading what I'd hear.   
"Why… Why her father killed her."   
My jaw dropped.   
"What… What do you mean?" Tatara asked shakily. I was sure neither of us would like the answer, but we _had_ to know.   
"It… It was about two years ago… two years before I came to this world," She started quietly, her voice shaking more than Tatara's. "Our fathers had been best friends for a long time… so we had been friends for a long time, even though she was a couple of years older than me. Their family loved each other so much… I used to be a little envious, mine's incredibly dysfunctional. But then, one day… Takiko-chan disappeared. She was only gone for three days or so, but my playmate wasn't around… so I knew something was wrong… and then when she came back… that's when… Okuda-san…" Tatara pulled her thin frame to him and hugged her tightly, letting her cry into his shirt, stroking her hair. Even in this gruesome story, nothing was more important to him than Suzuno. After a minute, she sat up again, wiping at her eyes. "Okuda-san loved Takiko-chan more than anything… if her pain was that bad… then he wouldn't want her to suffer… He killed himself immediately afterward." We both gasped again, but she didn't stop, plainly determined to finish this up. "No one could understand it… Everyone ended up thinking he was insane, but now I know why… and he left a bunch of stuff to my father… which is how I ended up getting here…"   
"I see…" I whispered quietly. It all tied together too neatly to be wrong. Now we could only pray that Okuda Takiko's fate was only because she'd called Genbu, who was known to be a particularly strange god. But I would not blame Suzuno one bit for pulling out and refusing to go on. "You don't have to do this…"   
"Yes I do!" she almost shouted, startling me so much I nearly fell over backwards. "I do! Don't you DARE say I don't!" She was crying but also raging, watching me with wounded eyes. "I do, damnit! I have to even more now! I have to do this for Takiko! I don't care what anyone says, I'm doing it!"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
It was quite a subdued group that met for dinner that night. Inoue was able to join us this time, so our little circle was extended to eight. The other five were talking and laughing together, bickering happily among themselves, but Tatara, Suzuno, and I were quietly staring at our plates. None of us had much appetite after that afternoon. Fortunately the others were being noisy enough to cover Suzuno's and my unusual silence. It went thankfully unnoticed.   
Or at least I thought it had. At this point I had basically moved into Tokaki's room. I'd done this at first to make sure he didn't do anything stupid while he was still unwell, but after that it just seemed silly to go back to my own room. I really only used it as a place to keep my things, and maybe for some private time. While it was wonderful, being together like that, it definitely had its downsides.   
"All right, what was up at dinner tonight?" Tokaki asked bluntly as I was changing for bed. I glanced over my shoulder at him, nearly dropping my nightshirt - which was, incidentally, the same green and white shirt he'd given me long ago. He was so determined to get his answer that his focus didn't waver, even though I was wearing much less clothing than normal. "Tell. There was something going on."   
"S-Something going on?"   
"Yes, and I think I have a right to know what it is."   
We hadn't promised not to tell the others, but I didn't exactly think it was the type of news one goes spreading around. It would make everyone depressed and worried yet again, and we'd had enough of that for three lifetimes. "No there wasn't."   
He gave me an exasperated look and stood up, approaching me calmly with his arms folded over his chest. "You're hopeless at telling lies. What is it?"   
"Nothing!"   
"There was something!" he yelled, almost on top of me and looking very, incredibly angry.   
Damnit! I couldn't keep anything from him! "If I tell you, you have to _promise_ not to tell anyone else. It's… it's pretty bad."   
Immediately Tokaki's incensed façade was gone, replaced with the caring, concerned person I'd fallen in love with. "Is it all right to talk about it?"   
"Yeah… But it's definitely not pleasant. Hang on, let me finish getting dressed." He nodded and returned to sit on the bed, waiting patiently for me. It only took a minute until I crossed the thick carpet to sit down as well, cross-legged and facing him, trying to impart on him just how serious this was. "I went back to the library and kept reading that book… remember it?"   
"Was there something bad in it?"   
I nodded. "There was a brief description of the calling ceremony - only a line or two, it basically just said that the ceremony had been performed. But it said that after Genbu no Miko took the beast-god into herself she said she felt like she was being eaten alive…"   
I heard his sharp intake of breath. "Byakko… Suzuno…"   
"That was my first reaction, too," I replied, somewhat grimly. "It gets worse. Genbu no Miko's name was Okuda Takiko - and apparently she and Suzuno were friends."   
"But wait… how could they be? Unless Suzuno is almost a hundred and twenty…"   
My eyes widened. I hadn't even noticed that. "I… I don't know. Maybe… maybe our worlds' time is different from each other. Suzuno said everything with Okuda Takiko happened two years before she came…"   
"Well, you're the time expert, I'll leave that to you. What else?"   
"Apparently they were friends," I started again, wanting to get this over with. "And when Genbu no Miko returned to their world, her father killed her." I ignored his roar of surprise and kept speaking. "No one could understand it; Suzuno said they had one of the best family relationships you could find anywhere. She figured… that Okuda-san couldn't stand seeing Takiko in so much pain, and… put her out of her misery."   
"Byakko… No wonder you all were quiet…"   
"You won't mention it to anyone, will you?" I asked, watching him anxiously. "I'm not even sure I should've told you…"   
"I won't, believe me." He reached forward and enfolded me in his arms, drawing my head down to lean on his shoulder. "After all, there's no guarantee it'll happen to Suzuno… She's strong…"   
He sounded like he was trying to convince himself as well as me. But it was what we had to do. We all knew, somewhere in the back of our minds, that death was a very real possibility for all of us. Maybe even for the miko. Ours was an exalted, enviable position, and many would love to be in our shoes, to be famous, have powers. But our position was one of the most dangerous in the country, too. We just had to believe that everything would work out all right in the end, and pray that it did.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Things went from bad to worse that week. The next day there was still no fighting, but the emperor confessed to us at one of our official meetings that the capital didn't have enough surplus food stored up for a long campaign and most of the import roads had been cut off. "We have the normal supplies we always gather for winter, of course, but beyond that… We survive in this city by the farmers outside. They bring a third of the food consumed here in their carts every day, especially in winter, from their stores. And, needless to say, most of those stores are destroyed or have Kutou tents pitched in them."   
Things grew grimmer the next day as the first skirmish took place, between some returning Sairou soldiers and the Kutou camped around the secret road they'd been using. Out of seven, three were killed, and the rest had suffered various degrees of injury. I couldn't sit by useless, and so I'd basically broken into the doctor's rooms where the soldiers were being treated and fixed them using my powers. They looked at me with awe when I was finished, but I had a feeling that would be all I could do for some time. The doctor, after telling me off for not explaining what I wanted to do, asked me to come back whenever I wanted and give him a hand.   
And the day after that hell exploded.   
Each side had gotten sufficiently incensed at the deaths of their men to give up careful watching and attack. Even with as big as the city was, and the palace being located in almost the middle, it was nearly impossible to go anywhere without hearing the sounds of battle - the scale was that large.   
We didn't have nearly as many troops, but since we were defending our own homes on our own land and there was a nice, tall, thick, and _strong_ wall surrounding the city, we could remain on the defense and not send as many men out. Archers turned out to be a key to Heika-sama's strategy, as Toroki revealed that night.   
He was pacing the floor of his room restlessly, always coming close to bashing into the wall before turning and going back the other way. He'd already flattened the carpet into a furrow for his feet to follow. Karasuki and I kept a careful watch on him, but he seemed to know exactly how many steps of that length his room measured, and saved himself from disaster. "Heika-sama's asked me to go out tomorrow and lead the archers. They're good, but with what I can do… I'm another fighter, we need as many as we can get. We need to take them down, get them away, and do it fast. I'm going, whether you want me to or not."   
"I shall accompany you," Karasuki immediately spoke up, startling all of us and making Toroki stop and "stare" in her direction. "I too am a fighter, and I too feel useless as I sit here. We cannot find Amefuri now, so we must help in any way possible. I shall go with you."   
"Me too," Kokie added grimly. "It's not going to be nice out there, but I don't need anyone sheltering me just because I'm younger." He had to raise his voice to be heard over Suzuno's protest. "I can do something instead of just sitting here. In fact I probably won't even have to be in much danger, I can stay up on the wall and do things just as easily there." She fell quiet, still watching him with a troubled expression.   
At my side, Tokaki looked at Tatara. A flash of understanding passed between them, and they nodded at each other. "We're going too," they said together.   
"Karasuki's right, we're doing shit just sitting here waiting for Amefuri to fall in our laps."   
"That's not Amefuri's job, that Subaru's," Toroki remarked idly. Everyone laughed as I threw a pillow at him, getting him in the head.   
"Even so, it's impossible to do what we should be doing," Tatara said after everyone had calmed down. "Not many of us are all that patient." His eyes lingered suspiciously on Tokaki as he said that. "We need to do something - and this is about all we _can_ do."   
"Subaru? What about you?" Toroki asked, turning in my direction.   
I shook my head. "Count me out. My powers are no good in a large fight. I'll go back to the doctor and be useful there."   
"I'll go with you, I can't stand sitting around either," Suzuno piped up. "And they can always use another pair of hands in an infirmary."   
"So now that that's settled, let's at least _try_ and sleep." Kokie cast a suspicious glance at Toroki, who didn't look as if he'd be settling down at any time. "Come on… I think you've had enough excitement."   
"Oh, lay off Kokie, go sleep yourself."   
"I think we should _all_ try and sleep," Suzuno interjected firmly before the two of them could really start bickering, standing and brushing off her skirt. "Even if we don't feel like we can. We're all going to need it tomorrow."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
In the morning Suzuno and I decided to head out with the others at the beginning to see just how bad it was for ourselves. Tatara frowned when he heard this plan, but neither of us would be deterred from it. Fortunately no one else put up a fight, although Tokaki looked like he wanted to. The others wisely kept their faces blank.   
"Heading out" meant going to the city wall where most of the seishi would be spending the day, posted in various places to give the soldiers helping hands. Toroki of course would be with the archers, shooting over the Sairou troops to hit the enemy. The others were spaced out fairly evenly along the wall, mostly near gates into the city to help prevent the Kutou from getting too close and getting a chance to slip in.   
Tokaki was the only one who would be going out into the battle itself, which was part of the reason I wanted to see the fight. I was worried sick over him, even though I knew he could very well take care of himself and he'd come right to me if he got injured. I couldn't help it. We'd just found each other… What if I lost him?   
I told myself firmly to stop acting silly as everyone stood on top of the wall, watching the fighting with grave faces. It made me feel sick to look at it. A mass of people, part of them in blue and part of them in white, flashing metal, the jumbled mix of shouts of anger and cries for help… hell. That was what war was: hell. I could see men falling everywhere, many more blues than whites though, fresh men running in to replace them from each side.   
"Well…" came Tokaki's voice to my side. I turned to him and saw him looking grimmer than ever before, and, surprisingly, removing his earrings, staring over the field. "Might as well get in there." He looked at me, more subdued than normal. "Don't stick around. I don't want you in danger."   
"I… I won't." It was so much harder to stand by my decision when I was facing the battle itself than when I was sitting in a relatively safe room. It was some travesty of a classic story: bidding the lover goodbye. I'd heard thousands of those over the years and laughed at the silliness of them all. But now that I was facing it myself, even if it was only for the day, it was suddenly much less funny.   
"It won't be pretty," he continued.   
"I know."   
His mouth opened as if he was going to say something else, but then he sighed, shook his head, and bent down to kiss me, putting his arms around my shoulders and pulling me close. I kissed him back, frightened for him, but when he pulled back I acted my age and let him go. He nodded at everyone else and vanished from sight. I ran to peer over the wall just in time to see him reappear in the midst of a group of Kutou that were far too close to the wall for comfort, slash them with what looked like his earrings, and vanish again, leaving them in chaos.   
"I suppose we remaining ones should begin as well," Karasuki said from a bit farther down the wall, her voice being carried to me by the wind. I pulled myself out of my depression and watched her closely. One thing I hadn't figured out about her was how she fought. She looked more waif-like than Suzuno, and didn't appear that strong either. Then I noticed she'd brought a long piece of wood with her - a staff that looked startlingly like a monk's shakuju, capped with metal at the ends. I was still skeptical. Wouldn't a weapon be of better use in the fray and off the wall?   
Karasuki reached into her pocket and pulled out a hank of yarn and her small, dull knife. She cut off a piece of yarn and placed skein and knife on the wall in front of her, leaning on the stones next to her staff. Then, much quicker than my eyes could follow, she'd tied a complex series of knots in the yarn, muttering under her breath - and the staff began to rise into the air.   
_Well,_ my inner voice chose that moment to say, _that explains the "string and staff" clues._   
The length of wood went sailing over the wall and began battering the Kutou soldiers as if Karasuki were really down there holding it. I glanced at her once more and saw she had taken a step back from the edge, so she could have some room, and did indeed appear to be fighting. The yarn had been wound around both of her hands so she wouldn't drop it, and then she'd stretched her hands far apart, drawing the yarn taut across the empty space, the complex knots easily visible. She was still muttering under her breath and watched over the edge carefully. The staff reacted to every movement her hands made, whether swinging, ducking, rising or falling, and the lack of a physical opponent definitely put the Kutou soldiers on edge, spooking some of them into running away screaming. The ones that were left could only defend - at least, they could defend until she knocked them out.   
Toroki was guided down to the archers by Kokie, who would be going even farther along the wall - almost a quarter way around the city, to one of the northern gates they'd been clustered particularly thickly around. I knew they could both take care of themselves, but I was still worried as I watched them leave. There was no guarantee that anyone would come out of this, though with our powers we did have a much greater chance, and it seemed particularly threatening to the youngest of us.   
After giving a goodbye to Suzuno that was very much like the one I'd gotten from Tokaki, Tatara headed the opposite way from Kokie and Toroki, down to the southeastern gate. We watched him until he was lost among the soldiers crowding the top of the wall, then looked fairly helplessly at each other. There was little more we could do there. We glanced at Karasuki one last time, and seeing her fully absorbed in her fight, we left with only a call goodbye.   
Returning through the city was sobering. All traces of normal life had vanished when the fighting had started, as soldiers camped wherever there was room, even in the courtyards of private houses. People still did their shopping, but it was hurried, and only for the important things like food. The bars and taverns were doing a roaring trade at all times of day as people stopped in for mind-numbing alcohol or the latest update on the fighting. It was quite something to see drunks stumbling about the streets only a couple of hours before noon; scary, in a way.   
The guards at the palace let us in immediately as by now most of them knew us by sight, and we headed straight to the doctor. He was in a dreadful state: the wounded were being carried in by their comrades and left everywhere to wait for treatment. One was even sitting in a dry pond.   
"Who's that?!" he almost shrieked, whirling on us and looking half-possessed.   
"Whoa, it's me!" I called, holding my hands up. "I've come to work!"   
"So have I," Suzuno said from behind me, where she'd jumped when he'd been about ready to attack us.   
He blinked twice, making his eyes focus, and groaned and shook his head. "Gomen nasai… It's a bit hectic here, as you can tell."   
"Very well," I replied, somewhat ironically. It was a running joke around the palace that the doctor took such good care of everyone that he worked himself out of a job. "Where do you need me?"   
"In about sixty different places." He sighed and rubbed his forehead, looking much older than he should have. "You said yesterday that you have limits, right? Can't use your powers too much?"   
"Most of my powers… I don't know how many of the fixing spells I can do before it gets to be too much for me, though."   
"Then why don't you just go around and look for the really serious ones? We can take care of things like cuts easily, even if they're big. But broken bones and other things… Not quite as fast as you can."   
I nodded and left, taking a meandering path around the wounded and the slowly growing population of "helpers" that were beginning to crowd into the doctor's suite of rooms. I glanced back over my shoulder to see the doctor talking seriously to Suzuno and the girl nodding in reply, even more serious than him. I hoped she'd be all right with all of the gory sights that were growing ever-more apparent by the second and turned dutifully away, determined not to mother her.   
Gory was the only way to describe some of these men. My stomach lurched at the sight of one, who had somehow survived a gruesome wound across the chest long enough for his comrades to bring him here. He didn't look like he could last much longer; his breathing was shallow and quick, and his pale face was twisted with pain. He was one of the ones I was supposed to help. I immediately ran to his side, put a hand on his arm, and whispered. "Time turn back on the body of this man to this point of yesterday."   
His longish hair ruffled around his face and before my eyes the blood that had spilled and stained the bandages wrapped around his torso disappeared, and the edges of the gash that were exposed by the scanty bandage closed in a heartbeat. The color rushed back into his face as his hair and the wrinkles in his clothing settled down, coming out of the wind. He opened startlingly blue eyes in shock and surprise, first looking at me, then at his chest, then at me again. "A…Am I… dead?"   
I smiled and shook my head. "No."   
"Are… Are you an angel?"   
"No, I'm not… Now try and stand."   
I leaned back and gave him some room to pull himself up, resting on my heels. He gave me a suspicious look but sat up, eyes widening in wonder as everything seemed to work correctly. He was a tiny bit stiff, but other than that I could see nothing wrong with him. He stood slowly, leaning his weight against the wall, and stared down at his own body for a long time. I checked him over carefully with my eyes, and nothing else seemed to be wrong with him. Then he looked at me again. "Are you sure I'm not dead? How do I know you wouldn't tell me that to make me feel better?"   
"Look around," I said quietly. He glanced away from me and I saw his face constrict with horror at the scenes in the room. "My point exactly."   
"Byakko…" he whispered. "Protect us all…"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
No one wanted to speak of the fighting when they returned that night, and Suzuno and I hardly wanted to talk about the infirmary more. She told me that the doctor had basically made her his assistant, since she could definitely keep her head in tough situations, but she too had seen the cold horror of the wounded and had seen men die today as I had. It was impossible to forget about.   
All five of them made it back fine, the worst injury any of them had being the scrapes on Karasuki's hand from when she accidentally hit the stone of the wall as she "fought" her opponent a little to energetically. Tokaki was perfectly all right, as he proved exclusively to me later that night. After a day like that we both seemed to need each other more than ever, we needed to be sure the other was well, was themselves, needed to disprove every doubt that day put in our minds and reaffirm our faith in love - and that it even existed in the world. And I loved him more passionately than ever.   
And that was how things went for a long time. We talked little of the fighting amongst ourselves, preferring other topics such as our families. We grew to know each other more personally and intimately in those belabored weeks than ever before. For instance, I heard about Toroki's father and two younger sisters - his mother had unfortunately died a year and a half ago. Karasuki, who was an only child, told us stories about her and her parents' adventures on the road, although she never really said what her family did for a living. I heard more about the others' families as well, and finally got the courage to explain why I seemed to have such a personal vendetta against the Kutou, even before I'd been captured. They were all sympathetically silent after I told about Bokkai, but hearing about Masame cheered everyone up again.   
Our nights were good but our days were still gruesome. Every day Tokaki, Tatara, Kokie, Toroki, and Karasuki went out to fight, and every night they came back exhausted. Suzuno and I reported diligently to the infirmary every day, even after it had been relocated to a warehouse very near the wall so the wounded would have a shorter distance to go. Suzuno was like another army general, whipping reams of volunteers into shape and giving them tasks as the doctors saw to patients that weren't quite severe enough to put them in my way. Under her orders they boiled water, cooked broth, folded bandages, made simple lotions, changed bedding, and cleaned up after the doctors that showed up each day to lend their skill. Everyone had something they could be doing to help, and the capital rose to the challenge magnificently.   
I was almost afraid I was overdoing it, as by the end of the day I was more tired than even Tokaki, and at random times I'd have to run away and be sick in private. Many things were just too awful for words, and even though I fixed them I still saw those poor men in agony and pain, their wounds open or bone sticking out of their skin. The doctor frequently ordered me to stop near the end of the day, but I refused, even though I grew flushed and hotter than normal. That was my one worry, that I might have been getting a fever. I wouldn't have cared, but if I got sick then I wouldn't be able to go to the infirmary and help, doing the one thing I could in this madness. The weeks melted into one long blur, and before I knew it two months had passed in that fashion.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: As you can probably tell, my stance on war is definitely negative. I don't like it at all, and it tends to come out in my writing. Why I choose to write about it so often I don't know. It's a mystery of the universe.   
Love you all! 


	25. Chapter 24: What Was Going Wrong

  
DISCLAIMER: Not mine not mine not mine not _you_ say it three times fast ^_^   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: ~whistles~ Wow, looks like my little "I hate war" thing got a lot of attention. CLAMP, I think that was the longest rant I've ever seen! ^_^ Hmm, okay, not the longest, but definitely one of 'em. I'm not exactly a pascifist - hey, someone who punches her father, even just in play, cannot be considered a pascifist. I'll help out my friends if there's ever a fight (which, fortunately, hasn't happened to my group), and I'll wanna get revenge on people who hurt them. But war is senseless and stupid. I can support it if it's something like "oppressed people fight to break out from under a tyrant's thumb," but how often do you see those outside of fantasy books? Or at least ones that don't go wrong.   
And about the Karasuki side story I said I'd get out with the last chapter... two words: writer's block. I'm kinda attached to Karasuki and want to tell her story well, and most of what has come out of my mind just doesn't seem to fit exactly. I recently found my feet again with her though, so hopefully it'll be done soon. It'll probably be posted in place of a real chapter update because I'm running out of pre-written chapters and seem to be stuck for time to write more. School's also getting in for me tomorrow, so... ~sighs~ Time will be scarce for awhile. If regular updates stop happening, please don't think it's because I don't want to update! I do! I just have some problems with time management (not unlike a certain White Stones author...)   
Damodar, you're the only one who thought that. I kinda feel I owe a little explanation now. (BTW, Damodar asked if Subaru was pregnant.) The answer is: when I wrote it, yes. Now, no. So no. I decided to do something else and not have to have her worry about a baby just yet. And one less plot element for me to forget.   
Sano-kun too asked some good questions. Question 1: what about the unseen-in-the-anime seishi? Well, I know what's gonna happen. I'm gonna leave you all in suspense. You awoke no morbid thoughts Sano-kun because I've been thinking about this since Toroki showed up way back at the end of chapter 5, so get that laughing gas outta here! Question 2: yes, Yujiro has the same last name as the 'boshi twins. I'll leave others to determine the relationship, although I know what _I_ think ^_~   
I forgot this last time! I ALWAYS ALWAYS forget! Natsuki-chan, thank you! ~glomps~ You were my 200th reviewer! Wow, 200, I'm getting up there... I honestly never thought this one would hit 50, I love all you guys so much!   
  


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"When is this going to end?" I muttered as I stacked piles of clean bandages, almost eight weeks after everything had begun. It had been yet another tiring day. So many hurt, so many dead… We were doomed.   
I had used my powers so much and I was so tired that my eyes seemed to be crossing on their own. I had to work to make myself see straight, and it was almost more trouble than it was worth. All around me people were packing up, leaving off for the day as the fighting stopped. The only reason for that was because no one could see straight after night set in. Otherwise I was fairly sure both sides would have gone away battering each other till the end of time. Which would have meant _more_ work which would mean _less_ sleep which would mean feeling even _more_ tired… I winced as I realized just what I was thinking. Stupid stupid stupid… they didn't ask for this. I couldn't go blaming the regular soldiers for all my problems. And I had volunteered. And I couldn't back out now because that would mean not only going back on my word, but also perpetually feeling disgusted with myself. I sighed; it had been a long day.   
"Subaru?" Dr. Yamura appeared next to my shoulder, a stack of baskets perched between his hands and his chin, which he was using to steady his exorbitantly tall pile. "Are you all right?"   
"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, not bothering to hide the fatigue in my voice. After two months, and all his care with Suzuno before that, this man knew me too well to let me get away with questions about my health. "Just tired. I think I'll go straight to sleep when I get back tonight."   
He gave me such a knowing look, regardless of him being at least three decades my senior, that I flushed furiously. Yes, gossip about the seishi was strong all right… "You do that. No staying up late tonight."   
_I didn't know a person could get so red._ "Yes sir."   
He turned to walk off, but suddenly stopped and turned back to me, eyes narrowed at me studiously. "Put those down," he said, easily commanding as he placed his own load on the ground, heedless of the dozen or so baskets that fell off as he did. I obeyed his instructions, placing the last of the bandages on top of the haphazard pile. "Come over here." I did, and he placed a hand on my forehead, frowning. "Huh… Open your mouth." I did so, and he peered down my throat. Then he insisted on looking at my ears. I was just getting to the point where I was fed up enough to flounce off when he gripped my shoulders and made me face him. "You have a fever."   
"WHAT?!"   
"You heard me. As your doctor _and_ your semi-employer I order you to spend a day away from this place. I'll check on you tomorrow evening and see if you can come back."   
"But… But all the men-"   
He silenced me with a look. "I understand," he said quietly. "You want to help. That's a very good thought."   
"Some of them will _die_ without me," I protested weakly.   
He nodded gravely. "Yes, in all likelihood. But you've already saved more than half the doctors here put together. You've worked yourself to the bone for this and we all thank you very much. You haven't been getting enough sleep. Overwork and overtiredness are the perfect conditions to make even the most healthy sick."   
"But I can't just _not_ come."   
"If you do, I'll throw you out." The doctor was being perfectly serious. "You're no good to us sick. Think of it this way: if you come, you'll definitely spread the illness. Most of the men still here probably couldn't live through that. So you really will be saving their lives."   
"But-"   
"Suzuno!" he yelled, his voice echoing around the building. Many voices took up the call and it reverberated through the air, going much faster than a messenger on foot. Everyone was very used to this method of fetching someone; it was very efficient and saved a lot of valuable time.   
And soon, just as was expected, the girl came running up, having traced the call back to its source. "What is it Dr. Yamura?" she asked, slightly breathlessly.   
"I want you to take your friend Subaru here and put her to bed immediately. She's sick." I began to protest again, but he silenced me with another look. "Don't listen to a thing she says about feeling all right. She doesn't, as she'll soon realize."   
"What?! Suba-chan, you're sick?!" Immediately Suzuno was by my side, pressing her hand to my forehead, checking my eyes.   
"No I'm not!"   
"Yes she is."   
"No!"   
"Yes."   
"NO!"   
He groaned and pushed me at Suzuno, who had the foresight to catch me, but barely, before I fell to the floor. "Put her to bed. She'll really be feeling it in the morning. And don't let her stay up for ANY reason!"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Despite what Suzuno had once said about me being "the strongest freaking woman she knew" she definitely had the upper hand over me on the way back to the palace. She insisted on holding onto my shoulders and guiding me, as if I was in danger of walking into the buildings. I managed to shake her off about halfway there, but she still stuck close to me and glared daggers at anyone who tried to come within three feet of us. She was _scary_.   
"Suzu-chan, I think you're overdoing it just a _tad_…"   
"No! You're sick! I'm taking care of you!"   
I groaned.   
The guards at the gate jumped aside at her glare and let us through without asking how the fighting had gone that day like they usually did. It had gotten increasingly hard for me to put one foot in front of the other on the uphill climb to the palace, and when we got to the outer wall I was truthfully very glad to see it. My thoughts were focused solely on the nice, warm bed I could sink down on in a minute, getting some sleep… That was paradise.   
"All right Suba-chan, here we are." I hadn't even noticed Suzuno was steering me in the direction of the room Tokaki and I shared until we were at the door. "Are you awake enough to change your clothing?"   
I dragged myself out of my stupor and nodded fairly intelligently, keeping myself firmly in the here and now as I crossed my room and pulled out my sleeping clothes - which was _still_ the shirt Tokaki had given me that awful night. I shut the drawer after I changed and braced myself against it, wondering why I suddenly felt dizzy. "All right, you can come in Suzuno, I know you're eavesdropping."   
She entered, shutting the door with a sheepish smile on her face. "That's not fair." Then she took in my clothing and raised an eyebrow.   
I shrugged, pretending I didn't notice my blush. "It's comfortable."   
"Did you ever give that _back?_"   
"No."   
"Thought so. In bed." She walked over to the bed and heaved on the blankets, dragging them back so I could climb in. I did so, then lay back, thanking Byakko for pillows, and pulled the blankets up to my chin. "Now the next day or so isn't going to be pleasant, Suba-chan. I can't stay here, but I'll ask Inoue to keep an eye on you, all right?"   
"Mm-hmm," I replied, already half-asleep. "'rigato, Suzu-chan."   
"I'll send someone in to check on you, all right?"   
But I didn't hear her. I was already fast asleep.   
Falling asleep didn't necessarily mean my sleep was peaceful. My sleep was the type induced by sickness, fevered and light and restless. Pictures flashed before my eyes, dreams I didn't remember once they passed. The only thing I remembered was flames, and heat, and their constant presence.   
It had only been an hour when someone lightly shook me awake. I dragged open my tired eyelids, absently realizing that most of the blankets were twisted around my body like a cocoon, and gradually a familiar face swam into view.   
"How're you doing?" Tokaki asked softly, sitting on the edge of my bed and taking my hand. "Suzuno said you were sick."   
"Yeah, unfortunately." My voice was slightly raspy. "Do you think I could have some water?"   
He quickly got me a glass and resumed his place as I drank, stroking my free hand with his. "How do you feel?"   
"Honestly?" I smiled a little. "Horrible. But I think it'll pass in a day or so. No, I know it'll pass in a day or so, because I'll go mad otherwise."   
He smiled lightly. "Same as ever, I see."   
"I try. How was it today?"   
A shadow passed over his face, but he didn't look away. "Same as always."   
Not good. That was his new phrase for "It's going horribly, I wish I didn't have to be out there but I do because I might save some of our guys' lives but I don't wanna _take_ any lives either". It was the same thing he'd said to me nearly every night for a month and a half. "You deserve a break. You all do."   
"We can't just all leave. We're a major reason why this city hasn't been overrun yet." He sighed and dug his free hand into his hair, making new furrows with his fingers. "We've gotta stay out there."   
"You don't defend anything," I said, muffling a yawn. I was going to pass out again any minute now. "You've gotta be able to take one day off. I know the emperor won't mind, he says we're doing too much already."   
"I'll think about it." He gave me a slight frown; apparently I hadn't covered up my yawn as well as I thought I had. "You're falling asleep, so before you do, move over. I need to rest."   
"But wait, you'll get sick too," I protested, once again my words not making any difference whatsoever to the person I was speaking to.   
"I'm not leaving you. Ever." He grinned. "Even if I have to tie myself to you. Now, over please."   
I smiled again and untwisted the blankets from my body, scooting over from the center until I was on the side closest to the wall. He didn't get in bed so much as he fell on it, still in his day clothing, and pulled the blankets over both of us. But he was alert enough to pull me to him, so my head was more or less laying on his chest, and kiss me on top of the head.   
We were both asleep before we knew it. And for some reason, with him there I didn't toss or turn restlessly as I did on my own, and bad dreams were banished from my mind.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
When I woke up in the morning the first thing that I noticed was I could think a little quicker. The second thing was that it was well into morning, much later than the time we normally rose. The third was that Tokaki was still there, his arms still around me, breathing deeply in a sound sleep.   
He shouldn't have been there. The lack of nearby noise seemed to indicate that everyone else had gone where they were supposed to go, and most likely awhile ago if I had slept as late as I thought I had. Maybe he had taken my advice and actually taken a day off.   
I sat up (slowly, as I was still tangled with Tokaki) when my ears picked up the faint sounds of someone humming a soft tune. Sure enough, Inoue was there, patching someone's skirt and humming in her throat as she used her mouth to hold one edge of the fabric, drawing it taut with her hand, incredibly focused on her task.   
"Inoue," I lilted, smiling.   
She gave a squeak of surprise that made the cloth drop out of her teeth and crumple in her lap, turning to the door. When she saw no one there she turned back, puzzled, and I could see her expression lighten in relief as she spotted me. "Oh, Subaru-sama, it's just you."   
"Enough with the 'sama' stuff already, I'm no lady and you've known me for months." I lay down again, simply not having the energy to hold myself up. Tokaki's sleeping body took a firmer hold on me. Even unconscious he couldn't change… "Where is everyone else?"   
"Out where they always are, Subaru-sa… Subaru," she added sheepishly. "They left awhile ago. When Tokaki-sam- Tokaki didn't join them as usual, they peeked in and then left."   
"No, they looked in, debated about waking him up, and then you kicked the lot of 'em out."   
"Something like that."   
I glanced at his face, seeing how peaceful and untroubled it was, and knew we'd done the right thing. "Thanks. He needs a day off."   
"You of all people would know that- Oh!"   
I looked over Tokaki to see Inoue standing stock still, her sewing crumpled at her feet, white as paint, and trembling. "Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai! Oh, Subaru-sama, forgive me, I didn't mean to speak so rudely of-"   
"Ne!" I raised my voice as loud as it would go, which wasn't very loud, but she stopped talking immediately. "It's all right! I promise you, it's all right!"   
She didn't move.   
I sighed. "Look, I don't care if you say those things. You're a friend, and if Toroki and Karasuki and your brother can say those types of things every day, then you can say it at least _once_."   
"But… But it was so rude-"   
"Oh, come off it." I smiled at her as well as I could. "You yourself've heard Toroki give us worse. I think he actually kinda likes it." I indicated Tokaki as I spoke. "So don't worry. And drop the 'sama' already, none of us are even close to nobility, royalty, great riches, fantastic learning, or any of that."   
"Are you sure…?"   
"_Positive._"   
"All right, I'll… I'll try." She smiled waveringly at me, and I returned her smile with one of my own.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Tokaki woke not long after that, and after he changed clothes he literally picked me up, ignoring my complete truths about how having a fever didn't paralyze you, and carried me to sit on a bench in the winter garden. It was nice to be outside and actually be able to look at things, as we'd been unable to for weeks. Our world had changed so fast, our objectives had been diverted for a long time. Our lives hadn't exactly been _restful_ while we were only searching for the seishi (faaaaaaaaaaaaaar from it…), but now we were constantly irked and annoyed by this cloud of worry and despair that was barely touching us, but still affecting us. Even the horrible time after we'd just gotten back from the border fort seemed preferable to now, with its death and destruction and noise hovering over us…   
We couldn't even escape it in the muted green beauty around us, my head pillowed comfortably on Tokaki's shoulder, his arms loose around my neck. We could, very distantly and faintly, still hear the massive cacophony caused by hundreds or thousands of men clashing only a few miles away. The noise was helped by the brisk breeze that had sprung up some time during the night, carrying it easily over the buildings and to our ears.   
"Suba-chan…" Tokaki suddenly said softly. "I… I have something I think you… you should hear."   
I barely had the energy to turn to face him, but I did, inquisitive. What was he thinking? "What is it?"   
"He… he's here."   
I felt a pit open in the bottom of my stomach, my temporary peace and restfulness being sucked down into it, leaving worry and apprehension. "Wh…Which… he?"   
"He. Him. The commander. Taheiji."   
"Oh Byakko…"   
"I've seen him a couple of times, but I haven't been able to get close enough to do anything to him." His worried, concerned look was abruptly replaced by one of vengeful anger. "And when I _do_ get him he better pray hard and fast to Seiryu. No one treats you that way and gets away with it." He held me to him possessively, as if to protect me from some unknown force there in the garden. "No one."   
"But… why?"   
"Well, one would assume to command the soldiers." Normally my Tokaki would have turned that phrase into a lighthearted tease, but this topic was too horrible for joking. "It seems like he's doing that, at least. But he's no fool; he's got a very wide circle of protection. Nothing can get close, not even me." His mouth twisted in an ironic smile. "Much as I hate to do it, I have to hand it to him - he compensated for what he assumed to be seishi powers. Just our luck that he got mine right."   
"Yeah…" The noise from the battlefield seemed to build in my ears, slowly blocking out all sound of Tokaki's voice, and then mutating gradually into the rhythmic stamp of booted feet on stone, with one discordant pair stumbling among them, that one pair of steps nowhere near as heavy. And then came the slamming of doors, curiously metallic-sounding doors, and the feel of rope fibers on my wrists, and a peculiar dusty smell on the air, and I couldn't hear anything but that malicious laughter-   
"_Subaru!_"   
My eyes started functioning once more and I found myself sitting on the ground, ten feet from the bench we had been perched on, trying to pull myself backwards with my arms - arms I held behind me in an unusual position, as if they were joined at the wrists and I couldn't separate them… And there was Tokaki, kneeling in front of me, his hands and arms reaching for me but his face plainly saying he was afraid - yes, _afraid_ - to touch me. As if him touching me would make me explode…   
"Subaru…" he rasped, and I could barely see the queer shine in his eyes, and the way his outstretched hands trembled. He was trying not to cry, oh Byakko, I was scaring him, it was happening again… "Subaru, come back to me, please."   
I slowly sat up straight, my eyes wide, my breathing spasmodic at best: sometimes loud, sometimes nonexistent, at a different pace every second. Tokaki still watched me entreatingly, pleading…   
I had thought I was better. I had thought I was healed. And I was, sort of, just not quite in the way I'd assumed. Even though my bad reactions to physical contact had gone, even though I'd discovered love, I would still react to the thought of _that man_. I just wasn't free yet. I couldn't be free until he had no chance to come into my life again.   
I needed help.   
"Tokaki… I'm sorry… I'm sorry for being so weak…" I let my body cave in on itself, curling up into a ball right in the middle of the path and holding my fingers to my eyes to stop the tears. I might _be_ weak, but I wouldn't show it if I could help it. Unfortunately, there was little I could do to help it.   
"No, Suba-chan, no, you're not weak. Not at all." His comforting presence was next to me in a second, his arms once again pulling me to him as he stroked my hair and kissed me lightly on the forehead. "I know so many people who would crack forever under all you've been through. You've done so well holding up under it all. Don't ever say you're weak, you're one of the strongest people I know."   
"But I keep _acting_ like this, how can that-"   
"Suba-chan, you're expecting a miracle. And while we're blessed, we're not _that_ blessed." He looked me in the eye seriously, easily holding my attention. "You'll do the best you can, just as you have been. And your best is good enough for me."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The morning wore my tired, sick body out enough to put me nearly in a coma once we got back to our room. I started falling asleep right there in the middle of all that muted greenery, and my wonderful Tokaki had simply taken me back and put me in bed, not asking any questions and not trying to be overly sympathetic. It was amazing how he always seemed to know just what I wanted and needed, even if he _was_ sometimes a little too interested in his own… interests.   
I slept the rest of the morning, straight through lunch, and most of the afternoon, even though Inoue came back at one point and had a long conversation with Tokaki. I caught them at it when I woke up slowly again, sometime near dinnertime, and the time when everyone else usually started trickling back in. When she realized I was awake, Inoue quickly excused herself to go fetch us dinner - looking rather more tense than usual.   
"Tokaki?" I called, and he immediately appeared by the bed, sitting down next to me and taking my hand again. "What's wrong with Inoue?"   
"I don't know."   
It was incredibly obvious he wasn't telling the truth; I had become _very_ good at reading him, and the lie was stamped all over his face. But if he was lying, he had a good reason. Neither of us could stand lying to the other, so he must have promised he wouldn't tell. I decided to drop it for now and bring it up with Inoue later; she would most likely tell me, if she'd told Tokaki.   
"Are you feeling better?" He set his other hand on my forehead, feeling for my temperature. "You don't seem as hot - you're probably over the worst of it now."   
I smiled; he sounded like a little boy begging for something he wanted. "What, are you a better doctor than Dr. Yamura now?"   
He grinned guiltily, shaking his head. "No, but can't a guy have wishful thinking every once in awhile?"   
"Sure, every once in awhile."   
We talked easily and quietly for a few more minutes, simply enjoying being with each other, and when Inoue came back we insisted she stay with us as we ate (plain soup and rice for me, a more normal meal for Tokaki). She did, fidgeting more than normal, but both Tokaki and I discreetly ignored her nervousness. She excused herself as fast as she could when we were finished, whisking our plates and things away with her.   
Even after the morning exertions I had gotten enough sleep to stay awake after dinner, feeling a lot more normal than I had all day. Tokaki decided to take my mind off things, and he began telling me stories of all the trouble he'd gotten into as a little boy. I laughed at one unlucky circumstance after another, but silently filed these tales away in my memory: they'd be good blackmail for later.   
"…And then Kaa-san came out and caught me and him throwing those nuts at the old miser, and she dunked us both in the dishwater repeatedly."   
I leaned back against the headboard, laughing so hard I could barely sit up straight. I had already passed the out-loud stage of laughter, and was now reduced to so little breath I barely made any sound at all. "Oh… Byakko…" I gasped between laughing fits and trying to draw air. "You… were such… a troublemaker…!" A new laughing fit claimed me, and I doubled over again, clutching at my aching torso muscles.   
He was laughing as well, though not as hard, and he helped me to sit up again. "Yeah, I was. And so were all my friends. The things we got into… and you haven't heard the worst, oh, ninety percent of what we did. We enjoyed it, even though we knew we'd get killed later." He grinned at me again, he face closing in to hover barely inches from mine. "But you know what?"   
I smiled back, teasingly. I had a pretty fair guess at what was coming. "What?"   
"I like this even more." He swiftly closed the rest of the distance between us and kissed me hard.   
I'd been right. It was rarely anything else with him, but I didn't mind at all. I loved him; I could put up with his overactive sex drive. It was kinda fun in a way, and I knew he'd never force me to do anything. I was perfectly willing to kiss him back, laughing a bit against his lips as his hands came up to hold my face and my arms went around his neck. He was hopeless, but it didn't matter. Hell, it didn't matter that I was sick. We loved each other.   
We lay down again, still joined at the lips, although I could feel the excitement and anticipation mounting in the room and knew we wouldn't stay that way for long, and my hands began removing his shirt. He obligingly flung it away when it was most of the way off and his own hands began working at my sash around my waist, and we both sat up as we kissed to pull the sash off and leave my shirt hanging open-   
_SLAM_. "SUBARU! TOKAKI!"   
Tokaki started so violently he fell off the bed, but the figure in the door took no notice of this little fact, and no notice of the fact that I was now furiously trying to cover myself up again.   
"I FIGURED IT OUT!" Toroki did no less but dance joyfully into the room, somehow managing not to fall over anything (including Tokaki, who was still trying to get his composure back). "I figured it out! I know how we're screwing up!"   
"_WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU KNOCK FIRST?!?!?!?!_" Tokaki roared, giving up any hope of calming down and springing up to yell in Toroki's face. Toroki yelped at the sudden force that was blasting his way and fell backwards onto the bed, landing on my feet. "_YOU DAMN IDIOT!!!_"   
"What, did I interrupt something?"   
"_DID YOU INTERRUPT SOMETHING?!?! YOU SHOULD ASK, MISTER I-CAN-SENSE-EVERY-FUCKING-THING-THAT'S-GOING-ON!_ OW!" Tokaki finally shut up as I flung one of my discarded slippers at him, pegging him square in the face. Well, sort of shut up. "DAMNIT WOMAN, THAT HURT!"   
"Good. Now shut up yourself! What did you figure out, Toroki?"   
"You know, it's a good thing it was me that walked in and not anyone else, or they'd have been scarred for life." He grinned impishly at the wall and quickly continued before I could bean him with the other slipper. "I figured out what I was doing wrong to find Amefuri and I know how to fix it!"   
"If it's just _you_ then why're you prancing into other people's rooms and hollering your lungs out?" Tokaki asked bitterly, rubbing his nose.   
"Because it's going to involve _everyone_, you no-brain. Listen, remember when we had the map with everyone's locations? Well," he went on, not waiting for an answer, "we only had three left. And then we found Kokie and Karasuki, eliminating two of the locations in the process. The only one left was the one in the east, which is where I've been looking."   
"We know all this, what's the point?" I asked crossly. Normally I loved Toroki like a brother, but I could feel a headache coming on. And I couldn't stand up to get a sash again with him sitting (even if it was unintentionally) on my legs.   
"That's precisely it. I was looking in the _east_. Which was really stupid, because guess who's in the east of Sairou right now."   
"Oh, the Four Gods themselves." Tokaki didn't bother to hide the sarcasm.   
"No, dolt. The Kutou army. And guess who's getting _out_ of the east as fast as possible, and as soon as possible as well."   
"Our refugees…" My mind caught up to the words right after I spoke them, and my eyes widened. "Do you mean…?"   
He nodded in my vague direction. "Exactly. If Amefuri was smart, he or she got out of there immediately when there was an opening. Probably before the army got to the capital here. And I didn't start searching until after they arrived and messed up all my senses. So the place we should look now-"   
"-is in the west!" I groaned and shook my head, amazed at all our stupidity. It should have been so _evident_. We should have realized it in our first week. We all would have done the same thing, especially if we had others depending on us. We were stupid, stupid, stupid stupid stupid.   
Apparently Tokaki thought so as well, because he was smacking himself repeatedly in the forehead and groaning something that didn't sound very happy under his breath. Toroki just nodded as the two of us berated ourselves. "Exactly. We just need to head west, which should be considerably easier than heading east, and then I can search again and when I locate Amefuri, we can find him or her."   
"Let's do it." I nodded firmly in agreement with Tokaki's decision.   
At that moment Dr. Yamura appeared in the open doorway, one eyebrow raised at the scene of muted chaos in the room: Toroki was still sprawled over the lower half of the bed (as well as the lower half of my body), Tokaki was standing next to him without a shirt and pounding his own head, and I was sitting straight up and clutching my shirt closed. He gave me a gently admonishing look, which I blushed faintly at, but entered the room without a comment. "Before anyone does anything, I am going to check on my patient." He stepped over Tokaki's shirt and a chair that had gotten knocked over sometime during Tokaki's blow up and stopped next to the bed, helping Toroki up and studying me with narrowed, curious eyes. He put a hand to my forehead, made me open my mouth so he could look at my throat, and held back my hair to peer at my ears, all just as he had done the night before. Tokaki hovered next to him anxiously, his half-clothed state making him not in the least uncomfortable, just watching the examination and waiting for the judgement call. Toroki simply stayed out of the way, waiting calmly for the doctor to speak.   
After one or two double-checks he told me to lie down, which I did as he turned to face Tokaki. "Don't worry, Tokaki-san, she'll be fine. She's over the worst."   
Tokaki let out a sigh of relief that was nearly as strong as a gale-force wind and made me roll my eyes. A fever couldn't kill me, much as he seemed to disbelieve that. Then again, I suppose if our situations had been reversed I would have done the same thing. "Arigato. I'm incredibly grateful to you."   
"While she doesn't seem to have gotten as much rest as I would have liked her to-" this time his recriminating glance was directed at both me and Tokaki "-it doesn't seem to have hurt her any. She's going to have to take it easy one more day, but she can do what she likes after that."   
"Thank you doctor," Toroki said gratefully but calmly. "That's perfect."   
"Just don't get sick again Subaru, I doubt your… friends will be pleased." I could swear the doctor was hiding a grin as he bowed and left us three seishi by ourselves.   
"So, who wants to fetch the others so we can have a strategy council?"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
There was a moment of silence after Toroki finished explaining his reasoning for the second time that night, then Karasuki voiced all our thoughts. "We have been the idiots."   
"No kidding," Kokie said. "Toroki, are you sure this will work?"   
Toroki shrugged, his shoulders jogging up and down in that brief gesture. "It has a chance. And it's a better chance than what we've got here."   
"I think we should try it," Suzuno spoke up. "It's a sound plan, and if it fails we won't be any worse off than we were before. Let's go west."   
"I know a way we could save time," Tokaki spoke up from his place next to me (both of us being fully clothed again). "If everyone agrees we should do this, of course. It might sound crazy, but I think it'll work."   
"What's your plan?" Tatara asked, studying his fellow seishi closely.   
"Something like this. It'll take awhile to ride any distance west, and then there's the time where we're just sitting there, waiting for Toroki to get a vision or whatever. So why not make it all one time? We could find a base while the others ride, and hopefully know about where Amefuri is by the time they get there."   
Karasuki tilted her head at him inquisitively. "I do not understand what you mean."   
Tokaki sighed and shook his head, probably trying to find the correct phrasing to make only one explanation necessary. "If we did both at the same time, it would make this entire thing shorter. How about if we all pick a city or town out west as the central point of our search, and I could take Toroki straight there while everyone else rides over. That way he could use the time to concentrate on finding Amefuri, and we could shave two or three days off this operation, meaning we could get back _and call Byakko_ sooner than we would otherwise."   
"I like it!" Suzuno jumped excitedly to her feet, jabbing a fist into the air. "All right, we have our plan, let's get packing!"   
"Ah… hold on, Suzuno," Kokie said. "First we need to know where we're going. That's _slightly_ important."   
"Eh-heh… right." Suzuno sat back down, a sheepish grin on her face.   
Tatara smiled lovingly at her before turning back to the rest of the room. "Anyone have any suggestions as to where?"   
Ever since I'd understood Tokaki's plan I'd been debating with myself about whether to volunteer. On one hand it could be a disaster, on the other it could be the best move we'd make… The two sides battled, but eventually the "go ahead and do it" side won. No one would care. Hopefully…   
"I think I know a place…"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"Now remember, _behave_," I ordered Tokaki as we prepared to make the transfer a day and a half after the meeting. "I don't want to scandalize them. Trust me, I'm already scandal material enough."   
He grinned and tapped me on the nose, a teasing gesture. "Haven't I already promised to be the model of perfect behavior? Don't you trust me?"   
"Not in this case I don't." I grinned at his mock-enraged expression, spinning on my heel and calmly walking over to put a hand on Toroki's shoulder. "Are you ready?"   
He nodded, patting my hand with his. "I'm fine, don't worry. It should all go well, so don't worry about _that_ either."   
I checked the small bundles each of us held - which were basically nothing more than clothing for two days, the others would be bringing the rest of our things and our horses with them so as not to tire Tokaki more than necessary. It was ridiculous to worry about packing when the method of transportation was teleporting, but it was an ingrained habit I just couldn't get rid of. Once I was satisfied nothing would fall out I nodded, and Tokaki slid an arm around my waist and put his other hand on Toroki's shoulder. "Ready?" We both nodded and he shut his eyes, concentrating, the symbol glowing bright on his cheek. It was almost as if you could see the mental process it took to teleport if you stared at his face, and it fascinated me.   
The palace veranda faded to gray around us, then was slowly replaced again by sun-washed stone and wood as the porch appeared around us, piece by piece. With one final small _jolt_ everything snapped into place, forming a comforting picture I knew by heart.   
I glanced quickly at Tokaki to make sure he was all right, and gratefully saw that he only looked slightly out of breath and maybe a little pale. He nodded at me and hung his head for a minute, and when he straightened the color had returned to his face. "Well? What are you waiting for?"   
I nodded and disentangled myself from he and Toroki, stepping up to the door and opening it slowly, sticking my head in to look around. "Dou-san? Kaa-san? Masame?" I called, hoping at least one of them would respond.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: See, I have decided to be nice! Sort of. Amefuri's coming, Amefuri's coming! Hold your horses!   
I couldn't check for typos quite as much as I wanted to, so if you see one then email me at Kazeko_sama@yahoo.com to tell me about it ^_^ It's all right if you do, I wanna make these things good! Just copy-paste the sentence the typo's in into the e-mail and I'll make sure to fix it.   
If ya wanna read something really pointless, go take a look at my journal. Like I said, pointless, kinda short, not updated frequently. I'm lookin' for a coupla friends to link my LJ to; if you wanna do it leave a comment somewhere and I'll see if the server'll let me link ya. 


	26. Market Bonus Fire and Ice

  
DISCLAIMER: Hmm... I actually own a lot in this one... but I still don't own FY. Duh.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hey, don't throw things! ~ducks vegetables and iron pots~ I know you think I'm chickening out by not posting a new chapter this time, but give me a chance!   
Actually, a lot of you are probably angry because this delays Amefuri's appearance that much more. I'm not doing this to be mean, I swear I'm not (even _I_ get tired of cliffhangers, after all); I'm doing this because I seem to have lost inspiration for the main story of Market. I just can't write it now for some reason. I want to, I really want to! But nothing'll work! I open the file and just sit there staring at the screen. If I was desperate enough, I could put down words anyway, but if I do that then I know I won't be satisfied with what comes out and will only end up more frustrated with myself. Besides, you all are so wonderful that I want to give you my best. I hope you understand when it comes to delays.   
In the meantime, I'm still posting! I actually wrote most of this last night, but I think it's all right to post today. Just don't expect it to be as thoroughly proofread (if you see a mistake, tell me and I'll fix it when I get the chance!). It's a Kokie-Inoue side story! No, not romantic, you perverts. The plot's kinda predictable, but I couldn't really think of what else I could write for them and seem believable. I hope you like it, it's not that happy.   
Soundtrack: El Tango Roxanne from Moulin Rouge, and Tactics, the ending theme song from Rurouni Kenshin. A lot more El Tango, especially considering how not-happy this is. Try listening to that while you read.   
  


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The late autumn moonlight dove through the window at a suicidal angle, plunging into the wooden floor like a knife blade, almost seeming to bore a hole in the wood it struck. The cold of the night air also seemed to be visible in the strange light; it was far chiller than anyone living could remember it being at that time of year, and every living thing was taking refuge. Stray dogs and cats were crowded in alleys next to buildings whose chimneys were built along the outer wall, a temporary truce called until all could adjust to the early cold. Street children huddled together in old, abandoned buildings, sharing body heat for lack of anything else. Even those with the money to afford oil for lamps and wood for fires shivered under blankets and sheets dragged out of storage on this particular day.   
It wasn't quite so bad in one home as it was in most others. In a rather small, yet tall, comfortable house near the middle of the city, a woman of about thirty finished putting her two children to bed in their shared room. "Sleep well, you two."   
"Good night, Kaa-sama," they replied on cue, both of them snuggling down under two extra blankets. The girl of about thirteen, her long black hair splayed around her head on the pillow, quickly shut her eyes tight, waiting for her mother to leave the room. The sounds of retreating footsteps reached her ears, nearly completely covered by the blankets, and then the door creaked as it was pulled shut.   
She breathed quietly for a few moments, giving her mother time to get away, before she opened her mouth and drew a shallow breath to call to her brother - but he beat her to the punch. "Nee-chan? Are you awake?"   
"Hai, Joji," she replied softly, slowly pushing back the blankets and drawing out small feet to set on the cold floor. "Ready?" She yanked the first blanket off her bed and slid her feet into the thin slippers she wore around the house, wrapping the blanket around her to keep herself warm.   
Inoue, are you sure we can do this?" Joji looked at his older sister with apprehension, his silvery eyes worried and stealing occasional glances at the door. "Tou-sama and Kaa-sama said-"   
"But Uncle gave them to us! He wouldn't give us something that offended Byakko. Now come _on_ Joji-chan!" She padded determinedly across the floor and dragged her brother's blankets off him by force. He yelped at the sudden cold and tried to yank them back, but only succeeded in getting his feet tangled in them. Inoue giggled. "Oh Joji, sometimes you're so silly."   
"I am not! And you're not much better!" He got up at last, yanking his feet out of the blanket cocoon, yelping again as he felt the cold of the floor through his soles and hopping around until he too could shove his feet in his house shoes.   
Inoue watched it all with a small grin on her face, and when her brother calmed down she shoved a blanket under his nose. "Here you go."   
Joji glared up at this sister, still miffed about her having reached her growth spurt and now being taller than him. He wrapped the blanket around his body with more than a few grumbles, then knelt and reached under his bed for a small, plain wooden box. It was a moment before his groping fingers found what they sought, but when he finally felt the box, he couldn't keep from grinning in excitement and feeling his heart speed up with anticipation. He yanked it out and quickly pulled off the lid, then turned the box over and listened to the musical clatter of metal hitting metal as eight tiny figures fell from the shadows to clatter onto the floor next to their blanket-encased knees.   
It had become a ritual with them, after their parents had first learned what the toys were for almost a month before, a few days after Joji's birthday: almost every night they would complacently go to bed, then wait for their parents to leave. When they were sure they were alone they would scramble out of the covers and remove the box from its hiding place. It had been their uncle's birthday present to Joji: a complete set of figures of Byakko no Miko and her seven seishi, each masterfully shaped out of copper down to fine details such as hair. Of course they probably didn't look anything like the _real_ miko and seishi, as no one knew who they were, but there were two figures among the rest, the miko and one of the seishi, who bore more than a passing resemblance to the siblings.   
Unfortunately it had been those fanciful images that had made their mother ban the figurines when they'd found their children playing with them just four days after the present had been received. She had been shocked when she learned that Inoue and Joji were using the figurines to play "Miko and Seishi," and immediately swept up the pieces and dumped them in the box, chattering all the time about how it was blasphemy against Byakko to determine his work for him and not give him a chance to complete it first. They were playing at being gods, she said, and it was all right to pretend to be make-believe gods, but not real god like Byakko, or any of his three brothers. When their father learned about their activity he reiterated the same sentiments in different words, adding that the box had been hidden and they were not going to get it back until the _real_ miko and seishi had appeared.   
Of course Joji found the box the next day, stuffed in their mother's usual hiding place at the bottom of her sewing basket, and smuggled it back into his and his sister's room. There they played the forbidden game nearly every night, making up new powers and alter egos for every seishi and the miko. Joji kept a couple of his imaginings secret from his sister, though…   
Inoue stared at the eight pieces scattered in front of her and considered them carefully, tilting her head to the side a bit as she did, keeping the blanket clutched about her small shoulders tightly. "Tonight I'll be…" she said slowly, making her choice carefully, "…these four." She quickly reached out and pulled the small boy that resembled her brother, the miko that resembled her, a man who appeared in his early twenties, and another man who seemed almost middle-aged to her.   
"Nee-chan… can I be him?" Joji asked almost timidly, pointing at the boy who resembled him. He picked up the only other female piece in the set, a girl of about fourteen, and held it out to her in his open palm. "You can be her if you do."   
His sister gave him a strange, sideways glance. "You're always him, Joji-chan. Don't you want to be someone else for a change?"   
"I am someone else." He gestured to the pile of tiny metal dolls next to his knee; two boys in their late teens, one slightly older than the other, and a man about twenty-five lay there. "Besides, you're always the miko. Can't I have my seishi?"   
"Oh all _right_," she said with a sigh, putting the boy in his hand and taking the girl in its place. "What are you going to call him this time?"   
"Kokie," Joji replied without hesitation.   
"Always you, always Kokie… Joji-chan, you're becoming obsessed."   
He flushed brilliantly, something that wasn't really attributed to the blanket around him. "I am not!"   
"Shhhhhhh!" she whispered insistently. "Kaa-sama and Tou-sama will hear!" He subdued, glancing worriedly at the door, as Inoue glanced at the figure now on her palm. "She will be… Toroki," she stated. "She's a talented dancer with lots of pretty costumes and dozens of adoring fans even though she just started working, but she has a jealous rival…"   
For fifteen minutes the siblings made up names, both real and seishi, pasts, personality quirks, and powers for their new round of Miko and Seishi, and then they progressed right into the game without a moment's delay. For another hour the seishi faced life-and-death peril from enemies made of walking fingers and recalcitrant pieces from other games, and, once, a stray pillow. Then, just before the sixth seishi was to appear, they both found they couldn't keep their eyes open any longer and fell asleep together on the floor, curled up in a bundle like kittens, Joji still clutching his little Kokie figure tightly in his right hand.   
  


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Inoue slowly returned to consciousness as something tickled her nose. It was a smell, a familiar smell; the smell of wood smoke. _How did I get down in the kitchen?_ She thought groggily, before she was fully awake. _It's so warm…_ She also didn't feel that rested, but then again, she _had_ slept on the floor. She sat up, stretching her arms up as far as they could go, then brought her hands down again to rub the sleep from her eyes. When she opened them she was caught in mid-yawn by the sight in the window. The moon was still there, barely past its highest point. The sky was still splattered with stars, as if a clumsy painter had overturned a can of bright silver paint and let it drip through a sieve onto a black canvas. But immediately around the window was a glow, orangish-red, that for some incomprehensible reason made her breath catch in her throat and her heart thud in her ears.   
She quietly unwound herself from the blankets, careful not to disturb her brother, and crept to the window to peer out. The smoke was now in her mouth as well as her nose, and even though it was only a little it felt like she was being choked. She glanced down, saw nothing instantly suspicious, then glanced up.   
And shrieked at the top of her lungs.   
The entire top story of their house was on fire, the wooden roof and walls doing little to stop the ravenous flames that were even jumping between the rafters to find more fuel. The fire almost seemed to dance merrily against that spotted backdrop, as if it were cackling for glee at finding such easy prey while destroying her entire life.   
Her shriek sent Joji flying into a frenzy as if he were being attacked, swinging twelve-year-old fists in all directions before his eyes were open. "What is it?! I'll protect you!"   
"JOJI! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!"   
He froze in his tracks, staring at her in complete disbelief, willing her to be playing the sickest joke she'd ever pulled. "You're lying…"   
"No! Upstairs is burning! IT'S BURNING!"   
His eyes, thought it had seemed impossible for them to get any wider, widened. "Tou-sama and Kaa-sama.." he managed to get out in a choked whisper. Their parents' bedroom was on that floor.   
Without another word they both rushed for the door and yanked it open at the same time, then yelled in terror at the top of their lungs and shut it just before the sudden draft of air pulled a huge fireball into their room. Not only the floor above them, but at least the other half of their floor was burning. Their parents were probably trapped or… they didn't want to think about that. _They_ were trapped. And they were starting to panic.   
Or, Joji was. Inoue was already far beyond the starting point. "What do we do what do we do what do we do help Joji!" She shrieked again and clutched onto her brother as something cracked and crashed outside their door.   
Joji struggled to keep a calm head, though he could feel the door steadily warming against his back. It would take the fire much longer to eat through everything that was on the second floor than the top one, but they still didn't have much time. Also the fire that was now eating away at the hallway had cut off their escape route. He started desperately trying to remember what their uncle, who worked with fire every day, had told them about it during one of their many visits to his forge…   
He broke away from his sister and grabbed his blanket, stuffing it in the crack at the bottom of the door to keep smoke out. _Smoke is more dangerous that fire, Joji-chan,_ he heard his uncle say in his mind. _The smoke can knock you out long before the fire gets there to burn you up, so keep it as far away from yourself as possible._ What else had he said? _Find a way out. Jump off a five-story building if you have to, but find a way out._ The door was out of the question; they would be roasted if they went that way. The only other option was the window. He made Inoue sit in the middle of the floor, next to the scattered seishi pieces, and he threw himself at the window with all his might, yanking, straining, _willing_ the decorative bars to come free.   
But his uncle had made those bars, specifically to guard against robbery. They were twice as thick as normal window bars, as were the ones on every window in the house. The way was blocked.  
  
_Damnit!_ he cursed in his head. _What's the use of doing what I can do if it won't work?!_ He pulled, he tugged, he nearly wrenched his back heaving, but the bars wouldn't move from their comfortable positions for his feeble hands.   
He fell back, panting and sweating heavily, tasting the smoke and soot in his mouth and feeling a stinging in his eyes. He glared in contempt at the window one more time before going to sit next to his sister, simply waiting for whatever would happen next.   
"We're trapped…" she moaned. "Trapped like rats."   
He didn't feel up to contradicting her very correct statement.   
A creaking, inhuman groan came from above their heads, and they both looked up cautiously, blinking as flakes of soot fell into their eyes. The ceiling above them had begun to glow a dull red, the light showing brighter through the narrow cracks in the boards.   
And then, with no more warning but a tremendous SNAP, the ceiling caved in and dumped burning wood like hellfire from above. Inoue and Joji screamed and dove for the floor, trying to get away from death, trying to evade the firebrands that were tumbling down to them. Suddenly the air was filled with several reverberating crashes, directly above the two terrified children, as if several things were having several head-on collisions not two feet above their heads. They just kept waiting to feel the first touch of flame, screaming all the while.   
After a few moments the crashing stopped with a final dull CLANG, which was barely heard over the siblings screaming. Nothing else happened. No fire. No burning. Nothing touched them.   
Inoue was the first to realize that they were still alive and in one piece, and her screaming gradually died down in her confusion. _What… happened? Why are we… What…_ She slowly opened her eyes, frightened to find out that she really _had_ died and just didn't know it yet, slowly uncurling her hands from the back of her head where they had flung themselves protectively. She was greeted by a small statue: the figurine of the girl she'd termed "Toroki" that very night hovered in front of her eyes, five inches above the ground. It was embedded in a sheer wall of metal that stretched completely around them, and even over them as far as she could tell. The wall - or was it a dome? - was made up of strange things, too: she saw not only most of the figurines, but the two-foot tall statue of a tiger rearing on its hind legs that had been kept down the hall, all her hair pins, and several things that looked as if they belonged in the kitchen. There were only small gaps to be seen, enough to let air in but not big enough for much fire. What did come through, if any would, they could put out with their hands.   
She took all this in in a second, then grabbed her brother's shoulder and shook him, making sure not to get too far off the ground. "Joji! Joji! Look! Look!"   
He stopped screaming and his eyes popped open to the widest they'd ever been; he too had figured out that they were miraculously all right. "WHAT THE-OWWWWW!" he yelled, but tried to stand up at the same time and ended up banging his head on the dome.   
Inoue pulled him back down to the floor, rubbing the back of his head. "Stay down! I don't know what happened, but we… need to… keep…" she trailed off into silence as she glanced at her brother.   
The light that had enabled her to see everything had not been coming from the fire, as she originally had thought; the fire couldn't get inside their protective dome, and the light was trapped outside with it, and in any case the metal would have had a red tinge to it in the firelight. No, the _real_ light cast a bright white glow over everything so it looked purer than the sun, almost completely washing out her brother's hair, which was easily as dark as hers. And it was coming from his back.   
"Joji… turn over," she said, her voice sounding ethereal to her own ears. He gave her a puzzled glance, but obligingly rolled onto his side, as far as he could go. But it was far enough so she could see all of his back clearly, and shining clearly through his nightshirt in the area of his left shoulder blade was the brightest light she'd ever seen. Without asking she pulled down the shirt at the collar, earning a strangled yelp from her brother. "Stomach…" she read the character shining there, squinting and half-covering her eyes to see through the light. "Joji…"   
"What?"   
"YOU'RE A SEISHI!"   
He went limp in her hands.   
"JOJI! JOJIIIIIIIII!"   
  


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They were dug out the next day, when the men with chisels and hammers, their uncle among them, finally managed to chip a big enough hole in the dome for Inoue to push Joji through, then follow herself. The fire had been put out only minutes after the dome had formed above them and Inoue had made the discovery about her brother, but very little of the house was left. Almost all that remained was the floor of their room, one of their walls, the room below it, and half of the room next to that. Somehow, someone figured out that their house cat had knocked over a stray candle that had been left lit in the third floor corner farthest from the siblings' room, and the fire had started from that. No one mentioned their parents.   
Joji was still unconscious and didn't appear to be waking any time soon. Nothing anyone at the site could do would rouse him from his coma-like state, but his breathing was steady and his heart seemed to be beating at a normal rate, so in the end they decided that the best thing to do would be put him to bed. But the beds were gone as well.   
Inoue was sitting in her uncle's lap, huddled against him with her arms around his neck and his around her back, just as she had been since she and her brother had been freed. When asked a question, she only responded with small nods or shakes of her head. Her frequent tears had carved clear paths in the soot on her face, and the parts of her nightgown they'd fallen on were washed clean.   
One of the neighbors, who had been up all night controlling the fire and picking over what was left for anything the two children could take with them, approached the two of them cautiously. "Excuse me, Tsumura-san… could I talk to you for a minute?" He wanted to spare the girl of what was coming up.   
"I don't think I'll be able to stand up." Tsumura-san looked calmer than anyone. He was still in shock. "You better say it here."   
The neighbor glanced at Inoue, who turned and buried her small face in the hollow of her uncle's shoulder and neck, tightening her grip on him. _The poor girl… and her brother…_ "We… We found…" he gulped and gestured up, hoping the older man would understand. Tsumura-san nodded, as if he'd known this all along. "The children… They… the need to go… somewhere… My wife and I, we… we'd be happy to take them in, or there's a good…" He stopped before the word "orphanage" left his lips.   
Tsumura-san looked at him for a moment in incomprehension, then slowly began shaking his head. "Iie. I am taking them with me."   
"But… But Tsumura-san… Your health…" he stammered, shocked for the fiftieth time that day.   
"I don't care," he said, softly but firmly. "They are my brother's children." _We're the only family we have left in the world now._ "They are living with me."   
  


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"Uncle…" Inoue said, her delicate voice raspy because of smoke inhalation. It was the first word she'd spoken since she'd been rescued.   
He glanced at her quickly, then looked back at the road, concentrating on not driving his cart into a wall. Joji was nestled in the back, in a nest of blankets donated by friends and neighbors. "What is it, Inoue-chan?"   
"Joji… He's a…"   
"A what, dear?"   
She looked down at her hands balled in her lap. "A seishi."   
Tsumura-san turned to stare at her in unabashed amazement, rendered speechless by two simple words, the reins falling slack in his hands.   
"His symbol glowed last night after the dome formed…" she said quietly. "It was so bright I almost couldn't see it…"   
"Are… are you sure of this?"   
"What else could it be?" she asked quietly.   
Tsumura-san faced the road again and drove on in stunned silence. The day had had too many surprises for him already: first hearing that his brother's house was burning, then the assumption that the entire family was dead, then the discovery of the two children, then having them almost taken away. And now to find out this monumental thing on top of it all? That his nephew was in fact a legendary warrior who would help save the country, who was prophesied by Taiitsukun, the controller of the world, who would become one of the most important people in Sairou's history?   
"I don't want him to be…"   
Her voice was so low he could barely be sure he heard it, and it felt like he had to drag his verbal feet through syrup to talk. "Why not?"   
"Because… we'll be separated…" she whispered, leaning into his side, her shoulders shaking with sobs.   
He freed up one hand from the reins and looped it around her shoulder, hugging her tightly. "We won't be," he said firmly. "I swear to you we won't be. He's still Joji, and Joji would never leave us. We'll be together."   
"You're all we have now… Please help us stay together…" she sobbed quietly.   
"I will, Inoue-chan. I will."   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: See what I mean by "not happy"? ~hugs them both~ I'm so sorry you two... I love my characters, I hate torturing them outside of the "fun" torture (like Toroki bursting in on Subaru and Tokaki in 24, that's fun torture). But sometimes these things... you can't avoid them.   
At least this helps answer a few questions: why Kokie was so reluctant to go with them, their connection with their uncle, one or two more. I _know_ someone's gonna be confused and ask "Wait... Did he already KNOW he was a seishi?" and the answer is yes, he did, but his powers had only shown themselves in very small ways and he didn't know how to tap into them and control them, which is why he couldn't do something to the bars on the windows. That's also why he always chose that little figurine for himself and named him "Kokie." And no, he hadn't told anyone.   
~hugs the siblings once more and lets them go recuperate from reliving the trauma~ Hopefully next time I'll have chapter 25 ready for you all. I hope so! Bye! 


	27. Chapter 25: A Brief Peace

  
DISCLAIMER: I have temporarily added Fushigi Yuugi manga kyu (nine) to my stock. Note that I didn't say FY itself.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: All right, for the past few days I've had a mission that I was determined to complete to the best of my ability. For that mission, I risked highway driving in rush hour, so you KNOW it was a big deal.   
The mission was to determine exactly how all the names are spelled. Is it Ryuen or Ryuuen? Koji or Kouji? Yuki or Yuuki? For that matter, Yugi or Yuugi? Thanks to my Japanese class, I can now recognize pretty much any hiragana, so I dug into my current stash of untranslated manga and started... well, translating. I also went down to our most local Japanese bookstore to look at the manga I don't own.   
The conclusion is this: If there's ever a debate, the one with the extra letter is the RIGHT one. So it's Ryuuen, Kouji, Genrou, Yuuki, Yuugi, etc. I'll use Kouji as the example. His name is made up of three hiragana: "ko," "u," and "ji." The "u" isn't pronounced seperately, it's meant to make the "o" sound longer. But it's there, so the correct romanji spelling is Kouji. Sigh... guess I'm gonna have to go back and fix all my fics. My friend Sarah, who was with me, had a good theory as to why there's the discrepancy in the first place. She said the people doing the subtitles (which is where I got all the spellings I use) probably didn't want to confuse us since most Americans aren't familiar with Japanese pronunciation, and so took out the extra letters when they did the subtitles. Makes sense to me.   
~grins~ Now that my treatise on correct spelling is done, I must beg you to please not hurt me! Remember, I wrote this chapter back in _May_, when I had no idea of the writer's block I'd be going through now (although, happily, that looks like it's starting to break up at freakin' last). So it probably won't be what a lot of people expect. But give me a chance: I gave them a break because they deserve it. They've been living in hell for two months; they need rest.   
  


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There were a few moments of sleepy silence before the early morning air was broken by another voice. "Whozat?" A sleep-tousled head poked itself out of my sister's room, and she stared in my direction without really seeing me. "Is some'un there?"   
"_You bet there is!_" Tokaki charged past me, completely ignoring my and Toroki's shouts to KNOCK IT OFF, and scooped my sister off her feet before she could blink. He made a sharp, sudden turn and sped back our way. I barely managed to push Toroki out of the way and move myself before Tokaki burst through the door, racing out into the middle of the yard, and spinning around like some lunatic as he held my sister by nothing but her hands, making her fly in circles around him.   
Needless to say, once she woke up enough to realize what was going on, Masame loved it. The sudden motion brought her quickly to her senses, and she realized who her "captor" was immediately. "_TOKAKI-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!_" Her happy shriek rent through the air, startling birds out of their nests in a flurry of cheeping and making me sigh in despair. There went the surprise and hope that my father might be in a good mood when he woke up for once…   
Tokaki grinned and just kept whirling her around, saying something that wasn't loud enough to reach over the distance. Masame laughed happily, still flying through the air like some incredibly oversized directionally-challenged bird. They were quite a pair, the two of them…   
"Doulin-chan?" I stuck my head back through the front door, and my mother's smile greeted me. "If you don't stop these early morning intrusions, one day we're going to take you and your friends for robbers."   
I just laughed and stepped through the door to hug her tightly, immensely glad to be back in a place where the war hadn't overwritten every aspect of normal life. The house felt so safe, so secure, like no one could ever break down its walls. My mother's arms felt the same way as she held me, her sheer relief that I was all right showing in her actions, not her speech or expressions.   
"I'm so glad you're back, Doulin-chan. How is… Wait a minute, why _are_ you back?" She pulled back to look up at me curiously.   
"It's a slightly long story… Oh, stupid," I berated myself as I caught sight of Toroki out of the corner of my eye again. I reached out a hand, my fingers closing easily on his coarse sleeve, and pulled him inside, ignoring his yelp of protest. "Kaa-san, you remember this rabble-rouser, don't you?"   
I let go of Toroki's sleeve a split second before he bowed in my mother's direction, letting him stay on his feet. "Pleasure to meet you again, Tamure-san, and sorry about this intrusion."   
"Yes, Toroki, isn't it? Don't worry, I think we've come to expect strange things from you six." She fixed us both with a meaningful look. "But I still want to hear that explanation."   
"To start with," Toroki began, "we haven't found Amefuri yet."   
"Yet? But it's been months!"   
He nodded and sighed a bit. "We know. We've been fighting, or helping the head doctor. The city is still safe for now, and it's mostly due to us. And we've been trying to find Amefuri, but it's been… difficult."   
"There have been problems - there's been too much interference for Toroki to locate Amefuri's ki." I took up the thread of the narration easily; each of us seishi was now well versed in the history of our tries to locate the remaining member of our group, as we'd been discussing it for months. "Not to mention the capital being surrounded. But we had an idea. Well, Toroki had it, actually."   
Kaa-san calmly looked from him to me and back, folding her arms over her chest. Masame's happy shrieking in the background had stopped, but their chattering voices could still be heard occasionally from the courtyard. "And what is this idea?"   
"I was looking in the east originally, because that's where my vision said one of the seishi was, and we'd accounted for all the others. But I couldn't find anything. Then I realized that if Amefuri was smart, he or she probably came west in the flood of refugees before the Kutou even got across the desert - and before I started looking." I was impressed with Toroki: he was speaking to my mother as to an equal, easily explaining the situation and leaving out the nasty details. Good for him. "So we're going to look over here now. But it's kind of hard to search for ki on horseback, so Tokaki brought us here to ask if we could possibly stay here while I look…?"   
I sighed quietly and shook my head minutely. His last sentence had lost all his maturity and sounded like a ten-year-old. Oh well…   
"Of course you can stay here, I think we have enough room. But just you three?"   
"No," I replied, "Suzuno, Tatara, Karasuki, and Kokie are following on horseback, bringing the rest of our stuff with them. The idea is by the time they get here in two days we'll know where to head, or at least a large chunk of where _not_ to head."   
Kaa-san's eyebrows furrowed together in a contemplative frown as she unconsciously rested her chin on her fist. "We don't have _that_ much room…"   
"We want to stay unknown, so we're a little wary of using inns," I ventured. "Everyone in this town already knows I'm a seishi, and if they see me with the same strange people over and over the gossipmongers are going to draw conclusions…"   
"What? Oh, yes, yes, inns are out of the question." Kaa-san turned and began walking steadily back towards the kitchen, still deep in thought. I took Toroki's arm (in a much more mannerly way this time) and guided him after her. "We'll barely have enough room for the two boys as it is."   
"Ne, maybe Kiyome can help," I said in a sudden flash of inspiration.   
My mother turned to look at me, and Toroki and I stopped before we could run into her. "If she can, that would be good. You all really need…"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"…another place to stay," I finished up, watching Kiyome hopefully.   
Once my mother had provided us all with a second breakfast (I didn't eat much, but Toroki and Tokaki…) it had been a reasonable hour to pay a visit to others. Miraculously my father had still been sleeping as I slipped out of the house, going through the back ways to avoid much notice and get to my best friend's home. She lived with her husband and baby daughter in a fairly palatial house for such a young couple - but she _had_ married a minor noble's son, so it was only to be expected. They were a very happy family…   
…but they didn't really like early morning visitors.   
Kiyome gave me a disgruntled look so reminiscent of Masame that I had to blink to be sure they weren't the same person. Her eyes were bleary and her hair was a mess, and she held her daughter in her right arm. "Doulin-chan, I've been up half the night taking care of this girl, and you come running in before I've even had the chance to have a decent breakfast and say you need to find a place to stay for _four people I've never met?_ Have you lost your _mind?_"   
"No, but it's an emergency!"   
"Hah." Kiyome handed me the baby, surprising me so I nearly dropped her, and began banging around the kitchen, getting out cups and saucers. "An emergency is your house burning down. An emergency is Lover Boy back there-" I flushed "-needs a place to hide. You have two days. You can find somewhere else for them to stay in that time." She set a pot of tea so hard on the counter the lid rattled. She took a deep breath, inhaling the tea's steam, and poured two cups.   
"But why not?" I asked as she pushed one saucer my way.   
"Because it's early in the morning and I'm grumpy."   
I groaned. "Kiyome… Come on, please. I'm sorry about bothering you so early, but this really is important."   
She didn't respond, just knelt at the small table in the kitchen and slowly sipped her tea. I was half a second from restarting my entreaties when she finally spoke. "Why are you here anyway? From what your letter said you six were the only reason the Kutou weren't getting into the capital." I had found the time in the last two months to write home exactly twice - once to my family, and once to her. I hadn't been allowed to give specific details about the war, in case the messengers were apprehended or ambushed by the Kutou, but I had been able to describe the general situation. "If you're not there, won't the city fall?"   
"Well… not exactly. We were saving troops all through the past couple of months, and training new ones, so we have many more men than we did when the fighting started. I think the last ratio I heard was four Sairou soldiers to five Kutou. The odds are a lot more even." I couldn't help smiling at the next thought, rocking the baby gently as I talked. "And besides, if you'd seen the look on Heika-sama's face when we told him we might know where Amefuri is…"   
"Was he furious?" Kiyome asked interestedly, still sipping her tea.   
"Nope. Way too enthusiastic. He basically ordered us to leave as soon as possible, wished us good luck, and expressed his heart-felt desire to go with us in the same breath. He's definitely not your usual royal."   
"He sounds like a nice guy. Here, give her to me." I placed her daughter back in her arms and picked up my own cup and saucer, kneeling across from her. I was studying the unusual pattern on the china when she sighed, drawing my attention. "All right. I know you too well to think you'll give up before you get me to say yes. I'll talk it over with my husband, but I think I can guarantee you we'll provide housing for your friends."   
I blinked, a little surprised by this sudden change of attitude - although she was probably right about me. "Thank you."   
"Ne, Subaru…" I started a little at hearing my seishi name from her. She looked up at me, concealing a smile, an interesting light in her eye. "Are they _really_ seishi?"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Masame jumped on me happily when I arrived home again. "Nee-chaaaaaan! I want to race!"   
"What? Now?"   
"Yes now! I asked Tokaki-san, but he keeps using his powers to cheat." She glared a little in the direction of the house.   
I hid a smile and shook my head. "Sounds like him, all right. One race, and then I have to go in, okay?"   
"Hai!" she replied, trotting over to our makeshift starting line, a crack in the outer wall.   
The races were a well-established tradition in my family, started by Bokkai and Hatoko, my older sister, when Bokkai was still little and I was a baby. The only one allowed to challenge was the younger sibling, there could only be two participants in each race, and the route was always the same. Any alterations had to be agreed on beforehand by both racers, and any bets placed on these races were always honored in full. The route was simple, just around the interior perimeter of the outer wall, but there were lots of unintentional traps to delay an unwary runner and you weren't allowed to go more than five feet from the wall. It was hard for the older one as well as the younger, so the races were typically very evenly matched. The fact that Masame had asked Tokaki to join in this family-only activity surprised me; apparently she saw him as a sibling now, which could complicate things… or make them easier in the long run.   
At Masame's shout we both began running, jumping weed patches and several discarded things left in our path (the Tamures kept their shop neat, but their home ground was a different matter) such as a shovel, ducking under overhanging support posts, and generally looking very silly but having a good time. I kept a close eye on Masame, trying to prevent any severe accidents, and let her stay in front. After being sick I didn't have quite enough energy to put into a race, so I saved what I could and let her win - without her knowing it. She wouldn't like being treated like she couldn't win on her own, though she had in the past.   
I arrived at the same crack we started at two steps behind her, breathing a little harder than the activity called for. I pulled to a stop and braced my hands on my knees, catching my breath. Masame was jumping around excitedly, celebrating. "I won I won I won I won I- Nee-chan, are you all right?" She bent over to peer closely in to my face, concerned.   
I nodded and waved her back, taking a few deep breaths. "I'm fine, don't worry. I just… didn't sleep well last night. I'm kind of tired."   
"Oh." She watched me for another few seconds, then smiled. "We can race again when you're more rested."   
"Sure." I smiled in return, ruffled her hair and walked inside, only allowing myself to breathe hard once I was out of her sight.   
"Subaru? Is that you?" Toroki's voice floated out of a door on the right side of the hallway, and I peeked in. "Are you all right? You feel a little sick again."   
I sighed and shook my head. "I'm fine," I panted, "I just ran a race with Masame. Apparently I don't have quite enough energy to do that as well as I could."   
"All right, just don't overdo it." Toroki was sitting on the floor in front of the bed with his legs crossed tailor-style, a map spread in front of him, a smile pile of stones within easy reach. I smelled a whiff of gentle incense and glanced around for the burner, hoping he hadn't set it on something that would catch fire easily. "I'm going to try locating Amefuri again. Figure now's as good a time as any to start."   
"I'll leave you to it then." I stepped out of the door and began heading to my room.   
"Oh, can you close the door?"   
"Sure." I reached back and started to pull it shut.   
"And Tokaki's looking for you."   
"He is?" I opened the door again to stare at him. "How do you know?"   
He smiled, a smile that reached his sightless eyes, and tapped the side of his head through his shaggy hair. "I can hear him. I can hear you, too, and the others, when they're in range. I tell you, these past months Tokaki's had some _very_ interesting thoughts. Would you like to hear some of them?"   
"No," I replied flatly, feeling my face burn. "I'm going to go find him now."   
"You know I'm just teasing!" he called as I shut the door firmly.   
I shook my head, trying to chase the blush from my face, and continued down the hall to my room. What if my mother had heard Toroki's comment? What would she think? They still didn't know about Tokaki and I, and I wasn't sure I wanted them to know for awhile. I wasn't ashamed of it, I loved him with all my heart, but we definitely weren't safe yet, and our lives were very chancy. It would be better to let them know about the relationship when there was almost no chance something could go horribly wrong the next day and leave one of us dead… I pushed open the door to my room without realizing where I was or what I was doing, walking in and closing it in my wake.   
"Hello stranger," a voice whispered in my ear, pulling me out of my thoughts. An arm wound itself around my waist, pulling me back to lean against a warm, tall body. Another hand brushed my multitudes of hair over my shoulder, and soft lips began brushing against my neck. I closed my eyes and folded my arms over the one around my waist, leaning into his body and fitting my head comfortably under his chin. He was so sweet sometimes… "Where did you go earlier?"   
"Mmm, don't stop," I murmured, my eyes still shut. Not only was it sweet, it was incredibly therapeutic. Tokaki obligingly began kissing me again, tightening his grip around my waist. I'm sure he didn't mind. "I went to see Kiyome, see if she'd agree to put everyone else up in case they need a place to stay." He'd slipped one side of my shirt off my shoulder and began trailing kisses over my shoulder blade, and that felt even better. "She said she'd do it."   
"So that's taken care of… Don't suppose you'll have to go anywhere else for awhile then."   
"No, but we can't play around too much. My family's here, after all."   
Suddenly he let go of me, stepping back, his arm sliding off my waist with the rustle of fabric on fabric. I turned to look at him, confused, fixing my shirt. This was completely unlike him.   
"Subaru, I need to show you something." There was a serious, yet sad, light in his eye, and his expression was troubled.   
That only made me more confused, wondering what would trouble him this much in a relatively peaceful town. "What is it?"   
"It's… Come with me." He took my hand and opened the door, and I followed him unquestioningly down the hall. He glanced back at me, that troubled expression still on his face. "I want to show you the room I'm supposed to use."   
"The room? What's so special about a room?" This was making no sense.   
Tokaki pulled to a sudden stop next to an open door, but I didn't turn to look, still watching him and waiting for my answer. After a second he gestured a bit impatiently at the room. "Look."   
I looked - and stared.   
It was Bokkai's room. Our shrine to my brother. The dust had been cleared away, the screens pulled back from the windows to let the sun in. He'd never made the bed the day he went away, and it had lain in shambles since. But now it was neat and orderly, the blankets lying flat with no wrinkles to be seen. It was almost the same as when he'd still been here.   
We hadn't touched that room in nearly a year. And now it was cleaned and being used for a guest…   
"I'm sorry Suba-chan, I know what it meant to have his room the same, but your mother had half the cleaning done before I knew what was happening." He was truly sorry; the tone in his voice was gentle, soothing, and sympathetic. "I'm sorry, I couldn't stop it. I tried to, but she wouldn't listen."   
It shouldn't have surprised me. Toroki had been put in Hatoko's old room, the one she had before she'd gotten married and moved away when I was seven. The only reason we had room for the two of them was because my older siblings weren't here any more. So it should have been logical that Bokkai's room would have to be used, but it still hurt me inside, in my heart. I turned away from the door and buried my face in Tokaki's chest, not crying but feeling strangely betrayed. He just put his arms around me and held on, giving me comfort just by his presence.   
After a minute he began talking again, softly. "I don't have to sleep here. I can stay in your room, or Toroki's if you don't want people to know…"   
I looked up at him, a fuzzy idea forming in my mind. "Does Masame know?"   
He nodded. "She does."   
A faint spark of hope was lit in me at that answer. "What did she do? How did she act, or react?"   
His eyes widened a little in puzzlement, but he answered. "She seemed fine with it, helped your mother with everything- Suba-chan? Are you all right?" I had turned away, my shoulders shaking at the answer, but shaking with laughter, not tears as he suspected. He turned me to face him again and he grew even more confused at my silent laughter. "What's so funny?"   
"Don't you see what's going on?" I managed to get out.   
"Not particularly, are you gonna tell me or not?" He looked so helpless, and it just made me laugh more.   
I took a second to collect myself, swiping at the tears that had collected in the corner of my eyes as I laughed. "You've been adopted. You're part of the family now."   
"You're kidding, right?"   
"Nope." I smiled up at him. "Kaa-san loves you. Masame worships you. Dou-san doesn't seem to hate you anymore. I'd say you're in."   
"Well, _that_ could make things easier." He grinned at me, a grin of relief laced through with that purely Tokaki form of lecherousness that made me want to sigh in exasperation, laugh, grin, roll my eyes, and kick him all at once. He swiftly bent over and kissed me hard, holding onto my shoulders and using enough force that I was backed into the wall. But still he wasn't being violent, or forceful; we just loved each other that much. I kissed him back, stepping through the open door next to me and bringing him with me. He shut it behind us.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The successive two days were wonderfully boring. We all got up when we wanted, then spent the day doing what we pleased. We couldn't go out much, or people would see me and know something was going on, but we occupied ourselves easily within the outer walls of my home.   
Toroki spent much of his time searching for Amefuri, but it tired him out enough to make him have to take frequent breaks. Masame had become fascinated with him, though in a different way than she was with Tokaki: she saw Toroki with awed reverence, almost as a sacred relic she was afraid to touch - at least at first. Sometimes when he was meditating and searching she would open the door to his room and just sit there, watching him, fascinated by the entire concept of searching for ki and not caring that he wasn't doing anything visible. She was somewhat afraid that he wouldn't like her spying on him, so she made sure to be well away when he came out of his trance.   
But once he startled her with shaking his head to wake himself up, running his hands through his hair, and yawning. "Masa-chan, can you hand me that cup of tea?"   
I was close by enough to hear and see what was going on, and I couldn't help eavesdropping. If I was a cat, I'd be dead. She made a tiny squeaking sound at the sudden movement and request, but couldn't seem to get away. "You knew I was here?"   
"You're here a lot, actually." He smiled in her direction and began feeling along the low table Kaa-san had supplied him with for the cup. "You seem pretty interested in what I'm doing."   
"Well… Yeah." She looked at his searching fingers, then up at his face. "Can't you pick up the cup?"   
"I can, but I need to find it first." One of his fingers grazed the painted china, and he traced the rim, making sure it was the cup, before securing both hands around it and bringing it to his mouth to drink.   
Masame's curiosity was on par with mine, and it finally overtook her awe of Toroki. She crawled forward a little to try and peer in his face, but his hands and the cup blocked most of it. "Didn't you know where it was?"   
He lowered the cup with a smile and set it on the table, just as deliberately as he'd picked it up. The seishi had all seen him go through the same motions so many times we didn't notice it, but for someone else it was always slightly strange. "I can't see it. I'm blind."   
My sister didn't say anything, but she frowned almost imperceptibly, and sadly, then sat back on her feet. "You're blind?"   
He nodded gently. "Have been for as long as I can remember."   
Masame hesitantly raised a tentative hand and gently placed it on one side of Toroki's face, pushing back the hair to expose his marble-like eyes. The pale blue of his irises was nearly lost in the shadows cast by her hand. He didn't say anything, just let her do what she would. Her other hand rose to join the first, and she just stared at him. "That's so sad…"   
"Don't be sad. I'm not. I have too much to do to be sorry for myself." He smiled. "And I have certain compensations. It's not as bad as you'd think." He turned in the direction of the door. "Right, Subaru?"   
I was nearly hanging through the door at that point, and when he acknowledged me I nearly fell over from surprise.   
"Nee-chan! What are you _doing_?"   
"Oh, um… nothing… Have either of you seen… Dou-san?" I desperately tried to push back my blush at being discovered peeping.   
"Umm, Nee-chan, he's at the shop… You know that…" Masame was giving me a very strange look.   
"Oh, then what about… Kaa-san?"   
"She's out in the yard," Toroki replied. "She connived Tokaki into helping her with some heavy lifting earlier."   
"Oh. Thanks!" I called cheerfully, hightailing it out of there.   
However, I could still hear Toroki comment, "Masame, you have one strange sister…"   
Even though I had been looking for an excuse to get away, I did need to talk to Toroki. The others would be arriving the next day, and we needed to make more plans while we had the time. But I was just a _tad_ too embarrassed to ask him about it then, and so got away as fast as possible.   
True to form, Toroki had been right about where my mother was. For some reason one of Dou-san's trading partners had delivered his things to our house instead of the store, and Kaa-san had convinced one of her friends to lend us a cart, which she was directing Tokaki in loading. He looked up from under his burden as I approached, and seemed incredibly grateful to see me, thinking I'd save him from more torture.   
"Kaa-san, I need to borrow him for a minute," I called as I approached.   
Tokaki's face lit with joy, but fell when my mother replied. "This is almost done, will another few minutes make a difference?"   
I grinned wickedly at him and he gave me a tired glare in return. "Not at all. Keep going, strong man."   
Tokaki just grumbled as he continued stacking crates and baskets on the cart at my mother's direction. I would swear I saw a faint echo of my wicked grin on her own face. "What do you need him for?"   
"We need to make plans. Him and Toroki and me. We need to be prepared for when the others get here."   
She nodded in agreement and then we both just enjoyed the sight of Tokaki suffering under the thumb of a woman. It was truly poetic.   
A few minutes later he finished hitching up the horse that had come with the cart, and Kaa-san climbed into the driver's seat. "I'll be back as soon as I'm able, don't destroy anything while I'm gone."   
"No guarantees!" I called, waving to her. After she drove out of the gate, we shut the doors behind her and started to head inside, Tokaki still panting.   
"Why did you let her do that to me?" he asked through clenched teeth, trying to wipe the sweat away from his eyes.   
"Because it was fun to watch you suffer." I laughed and ducked his swipe, running ahead of him into the house.   
Masame was still in Toroki's room, and they were talking easily about something, each with a cup of tea in their hands. I knocked on the open door and ran in before Tokaki could catch up to me, giggling helplessly as I sat next to Toroki. He barely managed to avoid falling over my sister when he dashed in, and gave both of us evil looks as we laughed at him. "It's _not_ funny," he grumbled.   
"Yes it is, but we need to plan," I replied promptly. "Tatara, Kokie, Karasuki, and Suzuno should be here tomorrow, and we need to know what we're doing."   
Toroki nodded, setting his cup on the table. "I can tell when they get close enough, and we can go out and meet them and take them wherever they need to go. It's not that hard. And I suggest letting them rest a night before we start out again."   
"Start out again? What do you mean?" Tokaki asked.   
"Oh, did I forget to say it? How idiotic of me." Toroki gave us both a calm smile that I could _swear_ was hiding inner rejoicing. "I've located where Amefuri probably is."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
It wasn't as simple, he explained to us later, as him closing his eyes and just _knowing_ if Amefuri was in the right place or not. He didn't know Amefuri, and couldn't even do that with the other seishi and Suzuno, who he'd known for quite awhile. He had to deliberately search for any sense of the six of us, and for one he didn't know… He equated it with any non-gardener trying to find a new flower in a crowded garden by smell alone. In that case, the scents tended to all blend together. In Amefuri's case, his or her ki was added to the general feel from a particular area.   
"It doesn't just stand out on its own," he explained tiredly. He would need the day of rest just as much as our other friends. "It blends in, which makes it hard to tell if there's a seishi there or if the area's just densely populated. You have to spend awhile over each place, picking the feelings apart carefully."   
We left him to get his rest, even Masame, and occupied ourselves with doing things that wouldn't disturb him for the rest of the day. We explained what had happened to my parents when they got back, and Kaa-san at least seemed to agree with Toroki.   
"Yes, your friends will need to rest. You shouldn't leave until the day after tomorrow. It's no trouble at all; it's fun to trick the entire town."   
Dou-san didn't say anything. I was very wary of my father these days; he still didn't seem to have recovered from my leaving right at the beginning of everything. Relations between us were strained in a way they'd never been before, and it made for some awkward circumstances. I tried to stay out of his way as much as possible, let him work it out for himself.   
The next day Toroki's sharp knocks woke me from a not-so-sound sleep. I had gotten used to having Tokaki with me at night, and it felt strange without him. "Subaru, they're coming."   
I yawned and mumbled a reply, rolling out of bed and forcing myself to get dressed as he went to wake Tokaki. For some reason I was really, really tired. But then again, I hadn't slept well at all, so it was probably to be expected.   
I was wrestling with my hair when the door opened behind me. I glanced back to see Tokaki standing there, fully dressed and yawning widely. "Mornin'," he mumbled, walking over without the usual spring in his step. "Why s'it so early?"   
"Because it is. They're coming." I finished securing my hair in its usual loops, then yawned also and leaned against him, pulling his arms around my shoulders like a blanket. "Mmm, warm…"   
"You too." He kissed the top of my head, then seemed to give into the inevitable and stretched, attempting to wake up more. "Come on, I think Toroki's gonna be annoyed if we keep him long."   
I nodded sleepily, and we walked out to the courtyard together, one of his arms around my waist. It hurriedly dropped off when he opened the door though, and I glanced up at him inquisitively. He nodded outside, and I looked for myself. Masame sat there, talking happily to Toroki, looking more awake than she ever had this early in the morning. She looked up at the sound of the door and grinned. "Nee-chan! Tokaki-san! I'm coming with you!"   
"Oh boy…" I said quietly.   
"Let's get going," Toroki said, standing up himself.   
It was probably a good thing that Masame was with us. We were taking the back ways to avoid prying eyes and being discovered, almost as if we were criminals (_that_ was one ironic thought), and I doubted I could have guided us at the beginning, as sleepy as I was. As we walked though I slowly woke up, and gradually I took a more active part in directions. My sense of direction might be one of the worst I knew, but in my own town I doubted I could get lost.   
Toroki had been absolutely right: when we got to the eastern gate, there was a large shadow just inside the open doors. As we got closer the shadow resolved itself into several forms at least as tired as us, leaning against each other, the horses, or the wall for support. Suzuno was dozing with her head on Tatara's shoulder while Tatara was leaning against the cool wall, Karasuki seemed to be draped over her saddle even though her feet were on the ground, and Kokie was sitting back-to-back with-   
"Yujiro-san!" I cried as I recognized the figure in the attire of an off-duty Sairounian soldier. "What are you _doing_ here?!"   
Several tired eyes blinked slowly open, heads were raised to non-crick-inducing positions, arms stretched, yawns made their appearance. "Hello to you too, Subaru," he mumbled as best he could. He braced himself with his hands on the saddle of his horse and pulled himself to his feet, leaving Kokie to flop ignominiously back into the dirt. "Took you all long enough. Sleep, please? We rode all night to avoid a Kutou patrol."   
"Patrol? This far out?"   
"Yeah, that's why it was only a patrol. Sleep?" One by one the others joined in the chorus requesting sleep, and we finally took pity on them and led them to Kiyome's home.   
Masame just stared at them all the way.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Yeah, today hasn't been my day... Long story. This thing isn't proofed very well, tell me if you spot any typos or anything.   
I guarantee you that next chapter will be more exciting! You'll be hit by a train as a matter of fact! ~gets a mental picture of a train charging out of a computer screen and bowling the poor people over~ Okay, strike that. You'll be happier with me, I think. See ya next time! ~heads off to study for the ACT, work on her website, and read Kenshin manga~ 


	28. Chapter 26: Wow

  
DISCLAIMER: HAH! I _possibly_ own the new character. Only _possibly_. I still don't own FY. But I bought a bunch of stuff at a Japanese festival today!   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: In order to reply to all your liver-ly reviews ^_^ I didn't have time to give this more than a cursory glance-over. PLEASE PLEASE tell me if you find any typos, mispellings, or places where the words don't flow! I am sooooooo busy right now, I don't know what's going to happen to my sanity!   
Okay, review replies!   
Wow, so many of you liked that last chapter! I was surprised! It was like... "They're gonna be bored they're gonna be bored they're gonna be bored but I am so stuck on inspiration and I don't wanna screw it uuuuuuuup..." Guess not. I need some self-confidence.   
Amaya Shinkuyoake - ~grins~ I knew about the Tou-san/Dou-san thing a loooooooong time ago, and ALWAYS meant to post a note about it, but of course, me being me, I never got around to it. Especially once I got in Japanese class, where they fling "Otoo-san" at you five lessons in a row (out of twenty). I just... kept forgetting. I'm scatterbrained like that. (I'm doing my laundry now, put the first load in the dryer, put the second load in the washer, turned on the machine, and left. Half an hour later the washer's done and my father's yelling up the stairs that I never started the dryer in the first place.) I came up with "Dou-san" from the Amiboshi/Kaika episodes; I asked all my friends and even _they_ thought he was saying it with a D. ~shrugs~ I'm kinda attached to it now. Might just leave it in as a "regional" thing. But no, that's definitely not the right way with correct Japanese!   
Draconsis - yes, Sairou is the "long" sound. Techinically - and I don't like this because you're RIGHT it looks weird - technically it's supposed to be "oo". They use the hiragana "u" to extend the "o" sound (as in "Otoo-san") so it gets translated as "ou". I prefer the "ou."   
Kris-chan, you KNOW if you want to know something you just gotta ask! I probably won't tell, but you can still ask ~grins~ I'm glad you like Toroki; I think he's become the general favorite of the "original" seishi. I like him too. He's a good kid ~ruffles his hair, much to his consternation~ But they're all good, even though they're not all kids. I'm gonna write you soon! When I get the chance! ^^;;;;   
CLAMP, thanks for saying that about Masame - I'm an only child, but I baby-sit this absolutely adorable little girl who just turned eight and looks absolutely _nothing_ like Masa-chan, but they're very close in spirit. She's my "little sister" in a couple ways. And yes, she'll probably end up getting amazingly spoiled in the next few years, what with Tokaki and Tatara and all ^_~ UNfortunately, she won't be in the climax - because the climax is in the capital. She WILL show up again, more than once, before the end of the story though.   
Shira - how's this? ^_~ It's almost as long as chapter 15.   
Chibigreen, don't die!   
Skittles! I've missed you! ~huggles~ And I'm not, but that's beside the point.   
Lib-chan, I was scared of turning you into a puddle of goo again ^_~ Oh, and the ACT sucks - I've gotta spend at least two hours on it at a time, and it's not something I enjoy. I can get through two hours of something I enjoy perfectly fine, but not something I detest. Ahh well, this time next wekk it'll be over. That's the best thought - but then I have the SAT yet _again_. Damn.   
J. Liha, sorry, not a very sappy chap. Other stuff finally happens! And I'm still surprised you either haven't kidnapped Tokaki or theatened me to make a clone for you. I'm just waiting for it.   
Tessen Girl/Brandy, it amuses me too ~chuckles at ff.n~ "Well rounded", huh? A lot of authors just want to hear they're doing well - PLEASE tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it! I want to! I want to get better! And no, I don't think it'll be pissed ^_~   
Flying heart, DOWN girl!   
Lanen! It's been awhile! ~glomps~ Glad you still appreciate the story, and that you also like Masame. I love her reaction too ^_^ She _knows_ who these people are, has had at least two days to get used to the idea, and yet still falls apart with "hero worship" - it amuses me. And just wait, I got more twists coming up. Now if I could just find time to WRITE them.   
This chapter's last seven pages were finished in a rush of five hours the exact NIGHT before I went to my summer program. Despite the rushed writing, due to a sudden block in the R&R department and brain-slamming inspiration in the Market department, I like this chapter. Hope you do too ^_^   
  


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Everyone except Masame ended up going back to bed once we got back - including Yujiro. His presence threw us for a loop, and as Kiyome had only agreed to put up four extra bodies for the night, we figured Yujiro-san could sleep on the floor of Toroki's room and not cause any trouble. But somehow he ended up in Toroki's bed while Toroki ended up in Tokaki's while Tokaki ended up in mine with me. Fortunately my parents had risen and left while we were gone, and Masame didn't intrude on any of the rooms where people were sleeping, or a lot of explanation would have been needed for something we were trying to keep under wraps. We were actually doing a fairly good job of it, too.   
Toroki, Tokaki, and I were up a couple of hours later, feeling much better with a bit more rest under our belts. We were grouped around the kitchen table awhile after, studying a map Masame had purchased for us of the surrounding area, when Yujiro strode in, yawning and rubbing his eyes. I stood and quickly fetched him a large cup of tea, pressing it into his hands before guiding him to sit at the table. He sipped the tea for a minute to wake up more, and we waited for him to become conscious. We all had questions for him.   
He yawned again and set down the cup, pushing his hair out of his face. "Thank you, Subaru. I'll be awake in a minute."   
"Why didn't you sleep longer? We wouldn't have woken you."   
He shrugged, already looking more alert. "Army. I'm a light sleeper. You have to be." He stretched one more time, then shook his head, and his eyes finally seemed as bright as they normally did. "So what's going on?"   
"Something like this. We're going to find the final seishi tomorrow," Toroki began.   
Yujiro politely cut him off with a nod. "I know the back story, what's happened since you got here? Have you really found him - or her?" he added with a glance in my direction.   
"I think so. It's definitely the place with the best odds, beats the other options by several miles. If you look at the map you'll see a town named 'Tanyou.' I'm fairly sure that's where Amefuri is."   
"Only fairly sure?" Yujiro asked, glancing down at the map for himself. The dot labeled 'Tanyou' was placed the distance of about a day and a little more's ride from 'Jikka,' my town and our current location. "Is that good enough?"   
Toroki shrugged. "I'll have a better idea once we're there. And at this stage, 'fairly sure' is definitely our best bet. If we leave here tomorrow the latest we'll get there is the evening of the day after, and if I'm wrong then we can stop there and I can search again. Trust me, it's better than waiting for them to come to us."   
"But what are you doing here, Yujiro-san?" I queried, unable to hold my questions any longer. "Why aren't you with the army?"   
"Heh… Ebizo-sama ordered me away to save my neck. Every time I go out to fight, my ex-comrades see me and start trying to rush me to hurt me for deserting. Deserters receive death, after all, and those that desert to the enemy… Worse than death." A flash of a terrible, grim expression played across his face, then was gone. "And the men I was supposed to train… I have no authority with them. Even riding in with all of you and providing information on the Kutou army and all the commanders I knew of and anything else they could think of, none of it counts for anything. I'm still known as 'the Kutou,' 'the deserter,' 'Blue,' and several other things, no matter what I do. So Ebizo-sama came up with the idea that if I went with Suzuno and everyone then I might be able to be of use. It'd also give him some time to establish me as a respectable ally, hopefully. And that's it in a nutshell."   
"That sucks," Tokaki spoke up in his usual eloquent way. "You're not like that at all. Remind me to beat some sense into those guys when we get back," he told me. I nodded solemnly, humoring him.   
"Thanks. At least I have a purpose now. It looks like I'm protecting you guys, as laughable as that sounds, so criminals are more likely to leave you alone. You have to admit, most of you don't look like fighters." He finished off his cup of tea. "Even if it's just a façade, I feel like I'm doing something useful."   
"How was the trip over? What's the deal with that patrol you were talking about?" Tokaki asked.   
Yujiro grimaced again, staring down into his cup and causing his dark blond hair to spill into his face. "It was a small one, but it was still a patrol. Three men, all obviously dressed as Kutou soldiers - my former employers are getting bold. They're probably scouting out this area, looking at the resources, the population… everything." He looked up, a very significant emotion on his face. "If you all don't stop them soon, they _will_ win. And everything you've fought for will fall apart."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
We sent Masame to Kiyome's to fetch the others for a group dinner at my house, an event that could have turned into barely controlled chaos. Fortunately everyone was behaving themselves (more or less), at least in the presence of my parents. Masame was having the time of her life, what with _five_ new "older siblings" to play with and spoil her rotten. She was definitely the hit of the evening.   
After we ate, everyone moved outside to stargaze and talk. Tatara, Suzuno, Kokie, Karasuki, and Yujiro were planning on using this night to catch up on some relaxing, and that's exactly what they did. We spread blankets on the ground and everyone just lay down (sometimes on top of someone else) and chatted easily, watching the clear winter sky. It took me a minute to realize Tokaki wasn't there, but I wasn't that concerned. He'd show up sooner or later. Until he did, Karasuki and I leaned against each other, wrapped in one blanket and sharing warmth (it wasn't that cold, but there was a stiff wind), talking with everyone else.   
Kaa-san was in her element, entertaining large groups of people. Suzuno and the other seishi all seemed to like her on the spot, just as they had Masame. I was glad they had a chance to meet my family - but it made me wonder if I would ever meet any of theirs.   
We packed in early, knowing we had a long day ahead of us in the morning. Toroki graciously gave Yujiro the bed in the room they were now sharing, and the captain didn't put up much of a fight. Tokaki and I once again separated, somewhat reluctantly, but knowing it would be the last night we'd have to do it.   
Once again, morning came way too early after a fairly restless sleep. I could barely drag myself out of bed to answer Kaa-san's knock.   
"Doulin-chan!" she said in surprise as I opened the door. "You look awful!"   
"Thanks for being blunt," I mumbled, very far from being awake. "I just slept badly, that's all." A yawn swallowed half of my last word.   
My mother peered at me closely, obviously worried. "You never used to sleep badly, is something wrong?"   
I was barely able to stop my self from commenting that yes, something _was_ wrong, Tokaki wasn't with me at night. "No… Just apprehensive I guess. I'm gonna get dressed."   
"All right…" she replied, slightly worried still. I closed the door and peeled off my nightgown, reaching blindly for the clothing I'd set out the night before.   
There was a creak of wood behind me and before I could think my self-defense instincts had kicked in and I'd spun, my foot snapping out of it's own volition to smash into someone's stomach. The intruder yelped in pain and surprise - a very familiar yelp - and flew back to land in a heap on my bed. My head finally followed my foot, and I discovered his identity. "_Tokaki!_"   
"Owwwwww… Morning to you, too," he groaned, trying to unfold from the rather painful position he'd landed in. "Damn woman, when'd you get that _strong?_"   
"How'd you get in here?" I demanded in a hissed whisper, hoping against hope that my mother hadn't heard any of it. "I didn't hear the door open!"   
"I didn't open the door, that's why." He sounded a bit less pained, and he slowly unbent and stood. "I couldn't sleep, so during the night I teleported in here and settled down on your floor. See?" He pointed in the direction of a shadowy corner, where a blanket and a pillow were lying abandoned.   
I opened my mouth to speak, couldn't think of anything, and just sighed and shook my head (even though I'd been having the same problem). "I have to get dressed."   
"Why?" he whispered behind me, one hand snaking up to rest itself on my bare stomach. "What's the point in hiding those lovely curves?"   
No way. It was too early. "How would you feel about others checking me out?"   
"They'd better be prepared-"   
"See?" I cut him off. "Now, let me go and let me get dressed. And shouldn't you go fake being in your room for my mother?"   
"Shit!" he said, then vanished.   
I nodded satisfactorily, then grabbed my clothes.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The next day, at around noon, we six seishi, Suzuno, and Yujiro rode into Tanyou, expecting… something. Some sign that we were in the right place after all, that Amefuri was there, or that we were completely wrong and we'd have to start all over again. What we got was nothing: it was a town just like any other town, that we'd all seen and felt the feelings of before. True, things were a little more nervous, but that was because of the war, not anything that really had to do directly with us.   
We all glanced at Toroki as we paused in the yard of the first inn we'd found, where hopefully we could get food and rooms. He sat in the saddle, wearing the most frustrated look I'd ever seen on his face. "Nothing. I'm getting nothing. But damnit, this _has_ to be it! It HAS to! I checked _LAST FREAKING NIGHT!_" he yelled, pounding his saddle with his fist.   
"Calm down, Toroki," Suzuno said, nudging her horse forward to take his flailing hand. She had finally learned how to ride, a feat we all cheered her for. "Maybe you're getting interference again. Maybe Amefuri left. But blowing up's not going to help anything." She spoke gently, soothingly, and I felt my own frustration start to slide away as I listened. "Come on, let's eat and get rooms and then you can try again, all right? Maybe it's just the fact that you haven't prepared." She swung out of her saddle, and we all followed her example as she tugged on Toroki's arm to get him down. "It's not the end of the world quite yet."   
"I guess," he reluctantly agreed, then let himself be dragged in by Suzuno. The rest of us waited around for the traditional young boys to take charge of our horses, then followed them.   
  
The place was very crowded, making it look smaller than it really was. There was only one table open, the biggest one, and we all naturally flocked there, needing plenty of seats for our ever-expanding party. Every other seat in the room was filled, and some people weren't even sitting down. Being the first inn in a town definitely gave it an added benefit in the clientele department.   
When we were settled a girl about a year or so younger than me approached the table, balancing a stack of cups and two pots of tea, which she set on the table with relief. "Hello, sorry about the crowd. I'll bring you food when it's ready." She walked away to take care of some other customers.   
I noticed Tokaki's eye following her as she left.   
It didn't drive me nuts. Yes, I was a bit jealous, but I'd known what I was getting into when I'd fallen in love with him. And compared to the way he used to react that was an ocean's worth of improvement. The old Tokaki would have sprinted after her and started hitting on her as soon as she realized he was there, so if he was only looking he was definitely getting better. But, I could still get him back…   
No one else noticed his roving eye except Suzuno, and she glanced at me to see how I reacted. She was definitely taken aback by the mischievous little smirk that was beginning to play across my face. "Excuse me," I said quite calmly, and stood up, carefully sliding off my end of the bench. "I'm going to go see about getting us rooms for the night."   
"Want me to go with you?" Suzuno asked, starting to stand from her place next to Tatara herself.   
I quickly shook my head; it wouldn't work if Suzuno was there. "No, that's fine. I'll be back as soon as possible."   
"All right," Tokaki replied easily. He suspected nothing. Heheheh… "Just try and be quick, you don't wanna get stuck with cold rice."   
"I'll try, I promise." I extracted myself from further conversation and approached the bar, ostensibly as that would be a good place to find someone who worked there, but really for a far different reason. Before I'd met Tokaki and discovered I was a seishi I hadn't been adverse to a little friendly flirting, or sometimes more than a little. It had never gotten serious, but I'd definitely acquired some skills in the area (although nowhere near as many as Tokaki; I'd flirted because it was fun, he did it to get girls). I shouldn't have forgotten everything in the past few months.   
I sized up my options quickly as I approached the bar; unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot of selection. Mostly men in their thirties, much more likely to be married and have kids - I wasn't that desperate. And nearly all of them were conversing with their neighbors. Of the three that weren't talking, one was one of the thirties-with-kids type, one was obviously drunk, and one was off by himself in a corner. For lack of a better option I went with the dreamer; hopefully I could get his attention.   
He glanced up as I leaned against the bar next to him, glancing back and forth to "look for someone to talk to," and I was satisfied to see him glance down at my low neckline before jerking his gaze back to my face. This might be easier than I thought at first… "Is the bartender around here somewhere?"   
"He just came by, you might be awhile in waiting for him." Even better. I hadn't picked too badly either. He wasn't normally my type, but he was pretty good looking anyway - forest green hair about the length of his shoulder blades, pulled back with a leather thong into a pony tail, a nicely shaped face, deep black eyes that conveyed more emotion than that color usually did. I couldn't tell how tall he was, but at an off guess I judged him to be between Tatara and Toroki, maybe five inches taller than me. He also seemed to be fairly poor, as his clothes were probably homemade of cheap thread and fiber. He might have been out of work for awhile. "Why do you want him?"   
"I need to see about rooms for the night. Quite a few of them." I leaned forward a little bit more, and once again his eyes strayed to my chest. This was too easy.   
"Actually," he looked up again with a grin, "I think most of the rooms here are taken. I'm staying here, so I hear things. Might only be one left. Maybe you could take that one and your friends could go further in town."   
I didn't want to make it too obvious, though. Time to be hard to get… sort of. "A woman by herself in a strange town? No thank you, I'm not that dumb."   
And he took the bait. "If you wanted I could look out for you. Be happy to do so, as a matter of fact."   
"I don't know…" I allowed myself to frown and leaned forward again, glancing towards the door behind the bar. And of course he looked down, but seemed to estimate all of my body this time. I felt myself instinctively beginning to panic, but I firmly squashed the emotion and made myself breathe evenly, watching the door until I'd calmed down. "Maybe. But I don't even know you."   
"Goto Razan, at your service." He bowed on his stool, looking far more elegant than his cheap clothing hinted at. I began to rethink my judgement of him. Could he be some stereotypical lord's son that ran away for adventure, like so many stories had as characters? It wasn't completely unfeasible. "And may I ask your name?"   
"Tamure Doulin," I said without hesitation, and bowed in return. When I straightened up it was pretty obvious he'd been staring down my chest again. I had no problem with it. I smiled, almost laughing; I'd forgotten flirting could be this fun. "I might have to take you up on your offer if he doesn't come by soon. You're too cute to be a psychopathic stalker."   
"Well, thank you. And might I say, you're a bit too pretty to not attract some attention from unwanted places. Don't look, but behind you there's a large group, mostly guys, and most of them seem to be watching you."   
Score! I sighed in pretend annoyance. "There's always one. Usually I can take care of one or two. How many did you say there were?"   
He glanced briefly over my shoulder again. "Two women and five men. Four of the men are watching you." He frowned. "That one looks too young to be doing that… Can't say I blame him though," he added, giving me a very appreciative smile.   
"Bet you say that to all the girls," I teased, giving him another flirty smile.   
"_GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS AWAY FROM HER!_" a very familiar voice exploded from the vicinity of our table. Tokaki had been sitting with his back to us, and was the last to realize what was going on. But now he had a clue. He appeared beside me and pulled Razan bodily off his stool with one hand by the front of his shirt, then flung him ten feet across the room to land on a table. Cups and plates went flying as Razan skidded to a stop on the thankfully sturdy table, then rolled off, scattering patrons, surprisingly without major injury and clearly very pissed.   
"What are you doing?" he asked in a scarily calm voice. His hands balled into fists as he slowly approached us, and I began to think that maybe this wasn't the best way to handle Tokaki's flirting… Poor Razan was going to be pounded.   
Tokaki shoved me behind him, ignoring mine, Tatara's, Toroki's, Yujiro's, Kokie's, Karasuki's, and Suzuno's yells of protest. "I said keep your fucking hands off her, she's mine."   
"I'M NOT YOUR PROPERTY!" I yelled in outrage. By now every eye in the place was on us, and some of the smarter people had hidden under tables.   
Razan continued advancing, and for a moment I couldn't tell which one of them looked fiercer. "She doesn't seem to think so. And I think I take a lady's word over an animal's."   
Razan never stood a chance. Tokaki roared in outrage and leapt at him, moving so fast he was almost a blur. His fist met Razan's nose and Razan stumbled back, managing to keep on his feet somehow, but under Tokaki's next blow he buckled. It might have been intentional, because he fell to the floor and rolled away, Tokaki's kick at his ribs missing its target. Razan rolled to his feet and got Tokaki in the face with his own fist, but Tokaki's powers gave him a very unfair advantage. He was popping in and out of the air, surrounding Razan on all sides and beating him soundly. All the while the seven of us kept yelling at him to stop, but he didn't pay attention to us at all. Tatara, Karasuki, Kokie, and Yujiro kept going forward and trying to pull him off Razan, but he wasn't budging. Poor Razan was wavering on his feet as I saw Karasuki fumbling in her pocket for string, presumably to do something to _stop_ our local madman, but I knew it would be too late. Tokaki was pulling back to give the decisive blow when I saw the first opening I'd had to stop this thing - and took it.   
I ran forward, pushing off hands that were trying to stop me from entering the battle zone, and slammed bodily into Tokaki. He fell over, toppling into Razan and knocking them both to the floor, and I barely managed to keep my own feet. They both lay there, winded, as some of the other customers grabbed my wrists and pulled me back out of danger.   
Then came the explosion.   
A soundless, noiseless explosion ripped through the room, knocking everyone but we seishi and Suzuno (even Yujiro) to the floor. Nothing had blown up; it was an explosion of light and power. Pure, shining, _white_ light.   
"GET OFF OF ME!" a slightly familiar voice yelled, and with the voice there came a gust of wind strong enough to send even the six of us to the floor. It swept Tokaki off the floor and slammed him spread-eagle onto the wall - five feet above the ground.   
Suzuno, Tatara, Toroki, Kokie, Karasuki, and I picked ourselves up fast, staring at the source of the light that was still pervading the room, but gradually growing dimmer. The wind was still gusting, but only at the height Tokaki was, pinning him to the wall; we avoided it by stooping. Razan had gotten to his feet and was glaring venomously in Tokaki's direction, standing as tall as he could, arms crossed, and not caring about the wind. His hair barely even stirred, as if it was only in a mild breeze. And fading from view was something just above his left ankle: the kanji for rain net, glowing a brilliant white.   
"A…A-Amefuri?" Suzuno called timidly across the distance.   
Razan's head spun in her direction, glaring hard enough to put holes through stone, but he relaxed when he saw it was an "innocent bystander." "How did you know that?" he asked, sounding bewildered.   
For answer, Suzuno pointed at me and Tatara, knowing we'd understand. We did; our symbols started glowing as Razan's - Amefuri's was, Tatara's on his hand, mine on my chest, and we just stood there, letting it sink in for him.   
"Are you… all… are you…"   
"I'm Tatara," Tatara said gently. "That's Kokie," he continued, gesturing to the youngest of us, "this is Toroki, that's Subaru, that's Karasuki, and this is the miko, Suzuno."   
I couldn't resist one smart-aleck comment. "And that's Tokaki up there making a lovely wall hanging."   
Amefuri turned to glare at me almost as venomously as he had at Tokaki, and I wondered if he'd ever be able to forgive me. "I'm not going anywhere," he snarled, a completely different person than the one I'd met, "and you can't make me." He whirled and blew through the seishis' outstretched hands like the wind, and flew through the door.   
The wind overhead died when he left the building, and Tokaki crashed unceremoniously to the floor. Tatara ran over and hauled his groaning friend to his feet. Tokaki pressed a hand to his temple, massaging it gently, and looked around. "What happened? Where is he?"   
"Now's not the time for questions. Now's the time to go find him," Toroki said. The people around us were starting to recover, standing slowly, keeping an eye out for any more trouble. The place was a wreck: one broken table Amefuri had crashed into, several broken cups, dishes, and teapots, and food everywhere. We barely noticed this, concentrating on the fact that the last one of us was _getting away_, and us seishi and Yujiro ran out of there as fast as well could - all except Tokaki and Tatara, who were more or less confined to Tokaki's slow walking pace for the moment.   
"HEY! WHO'S GONNA PAY FOR ALL THIS?!" screamed the long-absent bartender as they made it through the door.   
"Where has he gone?" Karasuki asked anxiously as we spilled out the door and Amefuri was obviously nowhere in sight. "Toroki, where has he gone?"   
Toroki alone out of all of us (with the possible exception of Tokaki) didn't look anxious. "Don't worry, I've got a tab on him now. He can't get away anymore. That way." He pointed down the street to our right. Yujiro took off at a run with the rest of us no less than three steps behind. Suzuno grabbed Toroki's hand and pulled him with her, running with all the rest of us.   
I ran after Yujiro, cursing my stupidity verbally and loudly. No one stopped me, but I didn't want them to. It was my fault that all this had happened, that Tokaki was hurt and Amefuri had run, my fault my fault MY FAULT!   
"Left!" Toroki called, and Yujiro spun with a precision the rest of us couldn't match and charged down the side street, Karasuki, me, Kokie, Suzuno, and Toroki strung out behind him. Toroki continued calling out directions, and we made another left, then a right and another left - to end up in a dead-end alley.   
"Shit!" Yujiro cursed, barely breathing hard, as Suzuno and Toroki caught up with the rest of us. "He got away!"   
"No he didn't." Toroki wasn't looking at the wall, which I'd assumed was because he didn't know where it was, but then I saw he was singularly focused on one particular patch of shadow, one large enough to hide a full grown man. He stepped forward, hand outstretched - and was blown forcefully back by a sudden gust of wind from the shadow, landing painfully on his back.   
A second later a golden dome sprung into existence, covering the shadow and cutting off the sudden wind. I glanced to my left and saw Karasuki with a singularly pleased look on her face, knotted string stretched tightly between her two hands, her lips moving but no sound coming out. Then the dark, slightly blurred form of Amefuri's body hit the bubble, crashing against it as if trying to break through. He just rebounded off the force, obviously stunned and shaken. He pressed his hands against it, pushing, and his lips moved, watching Karasuki almost desperately. She shook her head minutely and replied silently. He gulped, looked slowly at the dome again, then nodded at her. She nodded once, firmly, and put the string to her mouth, cutting it with her teeth.   
When the dome disappeared, Amefuri tumbled forward, his support gone. Yujiro quickly ran forward and helped him to his feet, taking a careful grip on his wrist he'd once demonstrated to us, a grip that could prevent a man from getting free quite so easily. Hopefully it would work on Amefuri. "Don't run away again, we just want to talk to you," he said quickly, putting emphasis on the word "talk." "We promise, we only want to talk."   
Kokie helped Toroki to his feet as Tatara and Tokaki finally appeared in the mouth of the alley, Tokaki walking on his own by that point. "What happened?" Tatara asked, preventing Tokaki's much less polite version.   
"We're all going to have a talk, that's what." It was very apparent that Yujiro was the eldest of us as he gave Tokaki a parental glare that made him shrink back a little. "Now I'm not a seishi, but I _know_ this isn't how seishi are supposed to get along. So there's not going to be any fighting. Get it?" he commanded with a hard look at both Tokaki and Amefuri, who reluctantly nodded while glaring at each other.   
We all found places to sit. Tokaki tried to sit next to me, but I moved, disgusted with him for the moment. I might have started it, but his behavior hadn't helped the situation much. I sat between Karasuki and Suzuno with a huff. They both gave me a slightly exasperated look, but Suzuno put her arm around my shoulder and Karasuki picked up my hand with hers. Everyone else deliberately ignored our little drama, focusing on Amefuri.   
Somehow Yujiro had been selected as master of ceremonies, and he led the questioning. He'd been with us enough that he knew what to look for in a seishi. "Where is your symbol?"   
Amefuri pointed to his ankle without answering verbally, and just above the little knob of bone the rain net kanji appeared once again, as white and genuine as the rest of ours. "That good enough?" he spat.   
"We agreed to be civil, so you have to be as well. We outnumber you, don't forget that." Yujiro gave him another of his parental looks. "What's your name and where are you from?"   
"Goto Razan," he replied reluctantly, "from Kousa. In the east."   
Yujiro just gave him another look.   
"You want more? Fine. I worked in Yamatori-sama's house. More like a palace. That man was so pompous, so overbearing, that half of us wished he were dead. I hired on at an fairly early age, when my family was killed, before I knew I was a seishi. I just knew that the wind was my friend. My only friend. He figured it out before I did, and managed to keep me enslaved so he could use my power for his own gain. Once I figured out what was going on I tried to run away, several times, but his guards had special orders to keep me there and always caught me. I couldn't stop the number of them that went after me, and they beat me every time I tried. Shot me a couple of times too, I still have those scars." He took a deep, shaking breath. As he'd talked his eyes had slowly stopped glaring at us and turned inward, and his face had become more open and fragile, almost childlike. He was speaking in a rush; it was like he'd never let it all out before, and had nearly broken under the pressure. "And all the while he kept using me and using my powers for his own gain, never giving me anything in return. I doubled my escape efforts at twenty, when I heard the legend of the seishi he'd been keeping from me and figured out that I was one of them, but they caught me every time and beat me even worse.   
"I hate my powers!" he yelled, pounding his fist against the stone wall behind him with such violence that I was afraid he'd hurt himself. "I HATE THEM! If I didn't have them I'd have my family! I'd have my life! I wouldn't be a slave!"   
"How old are you?" Suzuno asked gently.   
"Twenty-three," he muttered. "And I've lived in hell since I was fifteen. Once I'd been there two years, I found out that Yamatori had had my home attacked and my family killed, all so he could possess me and what I could do for him. The only useful thing I've learned from my power is how to mask it."   
"So _that's_ why I couldn't find you earlier!" Toroki cried with understanding.   
"I guess I didn't do a good job today. I felt something last night and tried to protect against it. It didn't work."   
Karasuki shook her head. "No, it did work. We seishi simply seem to be drawn to each other, whether we want to be or not." She let go of my hand and stood, approaching Amefuri slowly and carefully to not alarm him. "We could not find you when we arrived. It was luck, and our powers attempting to come together, that brought us to you. We are all so sorry for everything you have suffered on the cause of your powers," she spoke so softly I could barely hear her. "No one should have to have that happen to them. We have all suffered too, and we know it is not easy. Will you please listen to us?"   
He hesitated a moment before nodding. We were all watching Karasuki with awe. "I'll try."   
"Good." She smiled and settled down on the ground in front of him, dwarfed easily by the new seishi. "How is it that you finally escaped your captor?"   
He gave a wry, slight smile, but a smile none the less. "The Kutou army was a blessing in disguise for me. We were one of the first towns they got to. All of Yamatori's men were out fighting them, so I slipped through the cracks. And then I came west, making believe I was an ordinary farmer whose home had been destroyed. It was easier than living in that hellhole."   
"Good for you," Karasuki said softly. She squared her shoulders, and I could tell the inevitable question was approaching. "Please consider what I am about to ask… Will you accompany us to the capital, to the palace," she said deliberately, letting him know exactly what he would be getting into, "and help us to call Byakko? You are the final seishi. It would be all you would have to do."   
There was silence for a long moment, broken only by our baited breaths and the far away sounds of commerce in the middle of town. "What if I say no?" he asked slowly, guardedly.   
"Then I am truly sorry, but you would come still. We have ways of bringing you with us, even unwillingly. I truly am sorry, Amefuri."   
"I know."   
"Please come with us of your own choosing. It will be finished within days, and you can go to whatever life you wish to pursue when it is finished."   
He looked up from the ground slowly, his eyes studying each of us in turn, sizing us up. "I guess I don't have much choice."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"Heika-sama, this is Goto Razan, also known as Amefuri," Suzuno said clearly in the throne room half a week later. We hadn't even bothered to stay in Tanyou that night, simply returned to the inn to gather Amefuri's few possessions (and reimburse the owner for the damage), and then sprinted as hard for the capital as our horses would allow. The group had had some tense rides in the past, but I would swear that this time you could have cut the tension with a knife, it was so prevalent. I wasn't speaking much to Tokaki, and Amefuri wasn't speaking to either one of us. In fact, Amefuri wasn't speaking much to anyone but Karasuki, and occasionally Toroki or Suzuno. The strain between Tokaki and I made everyone else uneasy. It had made for a long three days. "We have all of the seishi at last."   
"Wonderful Suzuno! I knew you could do it!" We'd told Amefuri that Heika was about as different from his old employer/master as night and day, but he was still stiff as Heika approached him happily. "I'm so glad to see you at last! Now Byakko can be called and the country saved."   
"I am honored to help, Heika-sama," Amefuri replied quickly, bowing to our ruler. Heika shot the rest of us a confused look at the action. Karasuki shook her head silently, and Heika let it drop. "When will the summoning be taking place?"   
"Now that we have everyone, we can start the cleaning and preparations for the ritual. They will take three days to complete, and then we can call Byakko."   
"Just three days?" Tokaki asked, sounding surprised. "I thought it took longer than that."   
"It really does. Don't tell Byakko, but we cheated a bit. We did some of the preparations while you were gone, but certain things can only be started three days before the summoning. It saves us time, at least."   
"I truthfully don't think he'll mind all that much," Tatara replied. "As long as the ritual itself is performed right, then we should see a white tiger in four days."   
Heika-sama dismissed us, asking Karasuki, who he'd rightly picked out as Amefuri's "middle woman", to stay behind while they got him a room and then show him to it. The rest of us trickled out of the door, spreading in various directions. Kokie and I walked back to our rooms while Yujiro returned to the barracks. Tokaki disappeared somewhere with Toroki, and Tatara and Suzuno went to the garden for some alone time. Kokie left me at the room I shared with Tokaki and continued down to his, opening the door and disappearing inside.   
I entered our room, which was as clean as ever, thanks to the servants. Our things had already been left on the table - both of our piles of stuff, as a matter of fact, proving just how quiet we'd managed to keep our relationship around the palace. But the sight just made me angry. I walked over to the bed and collapsed on it, burying my face in my pillow. _Our_ bed. I still loved him, desperately, but if he always did that-   
"We have to talk. You're not going to ignore me any more." I wavered between rejoicing with happiness or killing him as I heard him quietly shut the door, but not move from where he was standing. "You were flirting with him."   
"And you were looking at that girl."   
"I couldn't help it. And you're _my_ girl, aren't I enough for you? I thought I was."   
"I am _not_ your property," I snapped. "You idiot, it was to prove a _point_. There can't be a double standard."   
"What do you mean?" He finally moved, coming slowly closer to sit beside me on the bed. Fortunately for him, he kept his hands to himself.   
I finally looked up at him, not quite glaring but not quite neutral either. "I mean that there can't be one set of rules for me and one for you. I wasn't angry you did it. I knew it was going to happen, and as long as you don't do more than flirt casually then I'm all right with it. But I have to be free to do it as well. You can't go around beating up all the guys I talk to."   
"But he was touching you inappropriately!"   
"Like you're one to talk. And he wasn't at all, I would have killed him myself. I'm not that much of a weakling."   
"You? A weakling? Never in a thousand years," he said firmly. "Is that all you want?"   
I nodded, almost feeling like I could cry out of sheer exhaustion. It was tiring being angry at him. "I just want you to keep your head and realize it's not serious. I love you, why would I want someone else?"   
"I love you too," he said quietly, and bent down to kiss me gently. I let him for the first time in three days, realizing how much I'd missed it, and him, and his touch, and… simply everything about him. The kiss gradually grew deeper and deeper, until we were holding each other desperately, never wanting to let go. I didn't even think of how corny it all was; we'd worked it out. I would damn well be as corny as I wished.   
Almost five minutes later we broke apart, both of us smiling for the first time in days. "Subaru, I've got something to ask you," Tokaki said softly.   
"What?" I asked, not raising my voice above his.   
"Will you marry me?"   
My eyes widened at his face.   
Marry? Him? Tokaki? The lech?   
It was… was… sudden, to say the least. Somehow, in all my thinking that I would love him forever, that word had never entered my mind. Even though he'd been "adopted" by my family, my mind had never gotten that far in its thought process. We just were, there didn't seem to be any reason to think of it as any more, just accept what we had and love it as well as him.   
Besides, this was _Tokaki_. Who knew how many girls he'd been with before me? I didn't care about that; it was in the past, before we knew each other. But was he really, seriously ready to commit his life to just _one_ person? Exclusively? Was _I_? Would he be able to stand me after ten years? What about five? Or even one? Could we really do this?   
It scared me more than a little, as anything untested did, but I knew exactly what would make me happy for a long time and dove into it without a second thought. "Yes."   
And he kissed me again.   
Before we could get too deep into anything though, there came a tentative knock on our door. We both stood, straightening our clothing as we approached the door. Kokie stood out there, with Inoue next to him. I gave a glad cry and swooped out to hug her, but she didn't return the greeting or the hug. In fact, she was trembling.   
"What's wrong, Kokie?" Tokaki asked, sounding like an older brother. I glanced at Kokie, and was disturbed to see him so withdrawn and sad.   
Inoue finally looked up at us, and her face was streaked with tears. "It's Uncle. He's dead."   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES: Wow, THREE major things in one chapter! Amefuri, the engagement, and Tsumura-san's death. Never knew I had it in me.   
Natsuki-chan asked me a couple weeks ago to describe Amefuri, and the first word that came out of my fingers was "bitter". He doesn't _want_ to be. He wants to be normal and like all these people, because he can tell they're good people who wouldn't hurt him - but he's been scarred so deeply in his past that anything having to do with the nobility or being a seishi automatically puts him at his most defensive, and his most... grating. ~sighs and hugs him~ I hate to torture him. I can't write a full-length background story for him because it would make me too sad and suck away all my energy. Hopefully he'll get better as the story goes on - I don't know, I still haven't had the chance to do much with him yet.   
After this I have exactly ONE finished chapter. ONE. That's it. ONE. Uno. Ichi. Un. Better get ready for as-I-get-them written updates, like when I first started this. I doubt I can get ahead again.   
Oh, and about my site - it's not being updated because it's in the process of being moved. I don't want to do twice the work when I can't even get one whole part done. ~grins~ Sorry for being so depressing! 


	29. Chapter 27: And Things Keep Coming

  
DISCLAIMER: I have no TIME to worry about the fact that I don't own this. Grah.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the SOLE chapter I wrote while I was gone this summer. Yep, in six weeks, I came out with exactly ten pages of material. Sigh. I'm disappointed in myself. Although with my lack of private computer-age I don't really think I can blame myself _that_ much. I neeeeeeeeed my computer to be private; if it's not, I _always_ think someone's peering over my shoulder, reading what I'm writing. And I _know_ people wouldn't understand fanfiction, so that compounds it. Also, I only like to show my stuff to select people... See my problem? I wrote the first nine pages on my roommate's computer, but then it malfunctioned, and she swore it was my fault and forbid me from using it again. It wasn't, it was her computer's fault, because she never turned it off so the poor thing never got a break. Sigh. After that it took me three weeks to get up the nerve to finish it in the library.   
Not much actually happens in this chapter, mostly set-up stuff and mush (I was in way too sugar-high a mood when I was writing this to do anything -dark-). So the tone from 26 is almost NOWHERE to be found. Saaaaaaaaaaaaaap abounds. Don't say I didn't warn you. Don't think I have too many other notes on this chapter. ~shrugs~ Transition chapter, mostly, I guess. Not the best I've done, but not the worst either. Okay, on to replies!   
Sano-kun, I never claimed to be the all-encompassing-kanji-knowledge-person ^_^ I got my info online, and until I learn Japanese or Chinese (Japanese is a much more realistic possibility at this point) I can't tell for sure what the kanji mean, or even if the ones I found are the ones Watase-sensei wanted to use. However, I have the feeling that FY uses the Japanese meaning of the kanji, because this IS for Japanese readers, so maybe that explains some stuff. And thanks you Nuri-chan ^_^ Your help is always appreciated.   
Flying heart, no! I don't want you to go away! ~huggles~ I always say "Down boy/girl" when my friends are excited! And yes, Amefuri's here ~grins~   
Skittles, I WILL argue with you! You know I will! Because I don't believe it! And don't faint on me! ~fans her with newspaper to give her air~   
~cracks up~ CLAMP... Amefuri as a water person? Whoo boy, not the way I pictured him. One thing with wind people (and I say this being one myself) is that we tend to run around and change at the drop of a hat and we have a short fuse sometimes. Water is more calm and in control. Amefuri changes pretty fast, and has a temper, so wind makes more sense. ~cracks up at the thought of a water-Amefuri~ Also, Hikou already "has" that power, and I didn't want to repeat things. And yes, what are the siblings to doooooooo?   
Chibigreen, thanks! You and Emily should support each other ~grins~ Beat it in me to write that Karasuki story (which I completely scrapped and started over, by the way, and seems to have much more potential). And I'm glad Amefuri's motivations are understandable; I try hard to have my characters behave like real people. Guess it worked!   
Kris, I'm the Incarnation of Pure Evil. You expect me to be anything else? ~calmly pries Amefuri away and sets him loose, watching him run away~ And Kris ~grins~ did I ever say we DIDN'T have a lot in common? We'll just have to wait and watch with Amefuri, though, even I don't know how he's gonna turn out. And that thing with him touching Subaru... Didn't happen ^_~ Tokaki has way too much of an overactive imagination when it comes to Subaru, that's what, and he imagined it. Siiiiiiiiigh... And stay tuned for everything else your mentioned. It'll come up sooner or later.   
Hey Lib, since you seem to have a handle on him, you wanna try writing it? ^^;;;; I'd have to "approve" it (sorry, but I could send you his specifics and you could fill in the details), but I think you'd do it right. I've just got so much on my plate right now - including five or six new story ideas! I'm even forgetting some of them! Gah! And yes, the wedding's gonna come up, though not 'til after a few other things. And NO there's not just three days left! Heck, did the Suzaku people's story end after Suzaku was summoned? Don't answer that...   
Well, Bashou, you asked... ~whacks her hard~ And yes, that was the Tokaki-proposes-in-three-seconds part, but I DID lengthen it. Look at the old copy, it used to be THREE LINES long. Now it's... a lot longer, not sure just how much, but a lot. I always meant to go back and rewrite it, but didn't get the chance until a couple weeks ago. So while it might seem too short to you, it's a LOT better than what I had. ~grins~ And despite you having disappeared off the face of the Internet world, you're still all that. And yeah, I'll read when I have the time) and be brutal. You know I will, especially since you asked. And you shall not dress Mits in drag, for if you do, I will calmly switch out his clothing and turn you into a statue.   
Draconsis, sorry for making it sudden! I'll try to put in more explanation as to why he blew up that fast later! ~grins sheepishly~ I've gotta go back and fix some things anyway...   
Lena, you're heeeeeeeeeeeere! ~glomp~ It's been awhile! Well, no angst here, but your Sap Meter should be off the chart.   
Lanen, thanks for saying they act like real people! Like I said, that's one of my BIG things, because a lot of times fanfic characters _don't_... And it gets on my nerves. And... rootbeer? Ugh ~sweatdrop~ And go ahead and glomp ff.n, it's not getting a lot of love lately...   
Keimei, it took you two -days-? Wow... Guess I write more than I thought. Although that shouldn't surprise me, my writer's copies occupy two binders... Hmm. And I'm NOT THAT GOOD! Sheeeeeeeesh, people, I'm not! I'm really not! But I'm so gald you like the characters, and that Bashou's found another person to drool over Tokaki with ~grins~ She'll really be happy. And I'll keep it up! I promise!   
Flying heart (again) - every seishi's kanji means several things, at least in Japanese. For example: Miboshi's means "basket" but also (weirdly) "to sit with legs crossed". Besides that being really head-trippy, it's the only one I can remember ^_^ So I think that ONE of the meanings for Amefuri is "rain net". Maybe it'll make sense then.   
~cracks UP~ J. Liha, what _is_ it with you and the boys I write about?! You want glomping rights on Amefuri or something? And yes, I'll make you a Tokaki clone. I got the original, which is the best to clone from (sorta like burning CDs). And of course you couldn't HAVE the original, since Subaru would kill both me and you. But a clone's almost as good! And of COURSE nothing goes smoothly in my stories! That would defy natural laws! And Tsumura-san died because I (as horrible as this sounds) need Inoue and Kokie in other places for later plot developments. Sometimes you just have to.   
And Elwing... ~grins~ No more? Well, here's more! And yep, you're caught up! ^_^ Hopefully you'll see more of Amefuri later (he _really_ doesn't belong in this chapter) and find out more about him. He's complicated. And yes, congratulations! ~gives Elwing a prize~ You're the only one to figure that out! Yes, her uncle's health WAS indeed what Inoue was upset about a few chapters ago! He was going progressively downhill. She didn't want to burden Subaru when she was sick, though, and didn't have anyone else to talk to, so she ended up talking to Tokaki. Good for you for spotting that!   
Sheesh, these responses are getting to be chapters in and of themselves! I bet a lot of people just look for their own name and then skip all the rest. Oh well. Have fun!   
  


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"Uncle… He's gone… He's just… _gone_…"   
Tokaki wordlessly reached out and pulled Kokie into a tight hug, offering our "little brother" comfort as best he could. Inoue sobbed once, choked, and buried her head in my shoulder, crying uncontrollably. I glanced helplessly at Tokaki as I enfolded her in my own arms, wondering what we could possibly do to help them. They really were orphans now, with all of their family gone. He gave me a similar look in return; he had as little idea about what to do as I did. At the moment there really wasn't much we _could_ do, except offer them comfort in the only way we knew how.   
The siblings cried themselves out on our shoulders as we stood there on the veranda. When they calmed down enough to hold their heads up again, we led them into our room, sat them in chairs, and poured them tea from the ever-present pot. The warm drink seemed to revive them a little, and we finally dared to ask how it had happened.   
Inoue discreetly wiped her eyes with her sleeve before beginning, only sniffling once in awhile. "He wasn't doing too well before you all left, but even then I didn't think… I couldn't go down to check on him every day, even thought Heika gave me more free time to look after the family. I was only able to get down there once, but our neighbor said he would check up on him every day for me… And then yesterday…" She bit her lip against the memory, as if the physical action could fortify her. "Yesterday the neighbor came here and demanded to see me… And he… he told… me…"   
"Shhhh," I whispered, pulling her into another hug. "It'll be all right."   
"But how can it be?" she sobbed, clinging to me as if I was the one stable support she had left. "How can it be? We're alone, we don't have enough money, we'll have no place to live-"   
"All of that can be taken care of," Tokaki replied briskly, placing an arm on Kokie's shoulder. "Heika will let you stay at the palace until something more substantial comes along. The entire country owes you _both_ a debt of gratitude - one for being a seishi and the other for getting him to us. You can live well off the taxes as long as you want."   
I sighed lightly. He was trying, but still…   
"And then you can come live with us."   
"WHAT?!" chorused our three voices.   
"Tokaki-san, we couldn't possibly-"   
"There's no way we could-"   
"Yes there is," he interrupted smoothly. "And I won't take no for an answer. You two are almost like family and there's no way in hell I'm gonna see you turned out on the streets. If you're worried about money, then sell your uncle's old place and use that for yourselves. We're not taking a bit of it."   
Kokie and Inoue just stared at him, speechless and too stunned to move. I also watched him, but with a slight frown on my face: I would love to have them live with us, but there was the slight problem of the fact that we didn't have anywhere to live _ourselves_. We couldn't promise them everything and then deliver nothing; that preyed on their feelings and their trust, and I wouldn't have that.   
""Now you both get a good night's sleep and get your energy back. You're going to need it soon." Tokaki managed to get them to stand and walk through the door, steering them in the direction of Kokie's room. "And don't worry about a thing. It will all turn out fine." He gave them one last push inside the room, then returned to ours and shut the door behind him.   
"What were you thinking?" I asked quietly, not angry but for the first time seriously considering if he was out of his mind. "We can't have them live with us."   
He looked at me in surprise. "I thought you'd love the idea. You're attached to both of them."   
I shook my head. "No, I mean we _can't_ have them live with us. We have no money ourselves, no place to live - we're not even married yet!"   
"Is _that_ what all this is about?" I nodded. "Well, seems like I'll have to straighten a few things out… Come over here and sit with me." He crossed the room to take a seat on the bed, and I rose and joined him, watching him closely. I could almost detect, even in the serious atmosphere and with the serious subject matter, the familiar jokester light in those hawk-like eyes. "First, we have plenty of money - for awhile, at least, and hopefully longer. You know the allowance we all get?" I nodded; every week Heika set aside for each of us seishi an amount of money to do with as we pleased. Mostly it went to travel expenses, and it seemed an ungodly amount to most of us (Tatara and I seemed to be the only ones used to having even a fraction of that much money at once). "I've been saving it all since I got here. I knew that whatever I did after this I'd need money to help me get started, so I took the opportunity when it came, and I have a lot built up now."   
"But that's not enough for two of us to live on past a month, much less four."   
"Sweetheart, there's more." He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "I wasn't gonna tell you until the deal was settled, but now seems like as good a time as any, and maybe it'll help you see that I'm right. Heika's gonna give me a job."   
I blinked.   
"He is. He's approaching most of the seishi over the next day or two and asking them if they'd like to work in the palace after everything is over. Not as servants, but things where we can actually put our talents to use and get well paid. I'm going to help train the palace guards. He wants Tatara to look after the gardens, and Karasuki to do… something, he didn't quite say what. With what I make, or we make if you take him up as well, we can easily afford a nice house, in a good part of town, with enough room for every seishi and most of their families. How's that?"   
"I think…" I replied slowly, "that I just may love you for that."   
"And for a lot of other things," he said before he kissed me.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
It was two days before the ceremony. All of us seishi (or almost all) would have normally been inside the shrine, helping clean and prepare, feeling anxious about the summoning to come and the worry of if it would work or not, as we'd done the day before. However. It was very apparent that we knew little of the rituals used to prepare the shrine, and we'd finally been banned from the area by the attendants who were actually _doing_ the work. They claimed we were getting underfoot too much.   
So in order to take our minds off things, Tokaki and I were taking a trip into the city. The fighting was still going on, of course; it wouldn't stop just because we'd left and then returned with the last seishi. But you could feel the hope gradually spreading through, as whispers heard from the guards at the palace gates spread through the multitudes of people, whispers that said _We have them all! We finally have them all!_   
Tokaki almost seemed to have the same kind of fame that I had picked up in my hometown; many people knew him for a seishi and greeted him happily, almost reverently, as we strolled through the market together. He grinned at all of them and gave them some returning comment that usually made them laugh. Once I saw two girls about Inoue's age eyeing him in that prospective way some females have, but I kept my mouth shut. No use getting into arguments over something he couldn't control. But he seemed to notice them as well, and a slow grin spread across his face. I was getting ready to restrain him from going after them when he slid his arm into its familiar place around my waist, pulling me to his side, where I fitted comfortably. I smiled up at him and he smiled back - and out of the corner of my eye I saw the two girls walk away, defeated.   
"They've got nothing on you," he said lowly in my ear.   
"Glad you think so," I replied.   
We walked aimlessly until we came to a jeweler's stand, where Tokaki suddenly halted, peering over to look closely at something. Still being somewhat attached to him forced me to have to bend as well, and I got a fairly good look at what he was peering at. It was a necklace, made of gold, with five teardrop-shaped pendants of dark stone. It looked strangely familiar, but I couldn't figure out why.   
"Ah, are you interested in this beautiful necklace?" a moderately deep voice spoke from behind the stand. Large yet capable hands reached forward to lift the necklace from its resting spot in the display among rings, bracelets, and other necklaces, and the thin, carefully worked metal fell like liquid over his fingers. "It is one of my private marvels, something any woman would be proud to own. Would the lady like to try it?" the merchant asked, putting his hands in front of my face, the necklace still draped over them. "I think it would suit you well."   
I looked at Tokaki and he nodded, so I untwined myself from him and took the necklace from the merchant's large hands, undoing the clasp. I slipped it around my neck and nervously tried to smooth it, not quite used to wearing something that was obviously very expensive. Tokaki reached forward and adjusted it a bit so it was centered, then took a step back and nodded. "It _does_ suit you."   
"Ah, I knew it!" the merchant said happily, clapping his hands together. "And it really is a bargain."   
Then he named a price that I could have sworn was worth more than all the clothes on my body.   
I started reaching for the clasp, suddenly afraid I would break it and we'd have to pay the astronomical damages. "No, we couldn't-"   
A familiar callused hand was laid on the back of my neck over my fumbling fingers, effectively stilling them. "We'll take it," Tokaki said, reaching up with his other hand to place more than a few coins in the merchant's own. "Thank you very much." He steered me away, I still wearing the necklace, even as the merchant counted the coins now in his palm.   
We were a couple of streets away before I could even think of speaking coherently. "What- How- That was so much money-"   
"Don't protest," he teased, bending over to give me a quick kiss and not caring that he nearly walked into a building doing so. "I told you, I have money now. I've never been able to spoil anyone, so you're reaping the rewards. Besides, we're getting married, aren't we?" he asked in a light-hearted whisper. "We need something to make it official."   
"Oh, Tokaki…" I sighed, then gave up and just started laughing. It was too wonderful a day to worry about finances, and now it felt like I really was, in a way, his. The necklace somehow made it absolute. And better.   
We had gone a few more streets, hands entwined, when I suddenly realized where I'd seen the necklace before: at that same stall, months before, when I had first gone to the Tsumura house with Inoue, the day I'd met Kokie and Suzuno had been taken. I had to laugh at the irony of it all. Tokaki looked at me questioningly, but I just smiled and kept it to myself.   
Abruptly, Tokaki left the well-peopled streets for a small alley, tugging me along behind him by our joined hands. I followed, somewhat puzzled, as he led me down a bewildering maze of alleys. In two seconds I was hopelessly lost. "Tokaki, where are we going?" I asked helplessly.   
He just turned back to grin at me and continued the bizarre journey. I was desperately trying to figure out where we were (I got lost easily, but I didn't like not knowing where I was) when we suddenly emerged into the sunlight and the much reduced crowd of people. I recognized exactly none of it.   
Tokaki did, though. He strode forward, me trailing after him, to the door in the low wall across the street. The wall was in obvious disrepair, cracks in the stone showing through the fading paint, tiles missing from the little roof on top. He pushed open the door without bothering to knock, and as I entered I could see that the house was as shabby as the wall surrounding it, all on one low story. It wasn't very large either, and there was no other building in the small yard the wall encircled. But somehow the building seemed content with its surroundings, and so did Tokaki.   
"I know this place isn't glamorous or anything, not like where you live, but this is it. This is where I grew up." Tokaki gestured around the tiny yard, somehow taking in everything in the wall, and the street outside it as well.   
"This is it?" I asked dumbly, looking around again. "This is…"   
"I know it's nothing compared to your place-"   
"-Strange," I finished. "I never thought I'd see this place." I hadn't; in fact, I'd never really given much thought as to where or how Tokaki had lived before coming to the palace. I'd known he hadn't been rich, it had been just him and his mother and brother and there was no real way they could have had much money, but… I hadn't really expected him to bring out his "humble origins" as some people would call them, and certainly not now. "It's unexpected, I guess."   
"Well, you're not the only one who's gonna be surprised today," he said, a strange half-smile on his face. "Come on, I'll show you around."   
He led me through the door, which stuck at one point and he got going again with a practiced flick of the wrist and jolt to the frame. Inside, the feel was somewhat like what had been in the Tsumura home, except smaller. But it was comfortable. "Hello?" Tokaki called, letting go of my hand to open the first door we came to; the room beyond was empty. "Anybody home?" No answer. "Anybody?" He looked back at me after a moment, a bit confused, and shrugged. "Guess not. Here, let me show-"   
"Lanva-kun?" came a female voice from the back of the house, over the sound of a shutting door. "Lanva-kun, is that you?"   
His face brightened. "Okaa-san, I'm up here!"   
"Just a second dear, let me put down these vegetables." More sounds of several things dropping came floating out to us, and a minute later a woman who looked a few years younger than my own mother came out of what I assumed was the kitchen, the last door on the hall. She was taller than me, but not by much; she was only about Kokie's height. She was thin, but you could immediately tell she was solid and wouldn't break under strain. Her hair was as white as her son's. "What brings you back this time?" she asked, brushing dirt off her skirt. So far she hadn't seen me. My eyes widened as I actually comprehended the fact that _this was going to be my mother-in-law_, and I tried to duck behind Tokaki out of nerves.   
He just stepped aside and took a firm grip around my waist, as much to keep me from running away as to just hold me. "I have someone for you to meet."   
_How could he be so calm?!_   
"Who, dear?" She brushed the dirt off her hands as well and finally looked up, and I could see her dark red eyes widen a bit in surprise. "Who's this?"   
Tokaki gave me a slight push in the small of my back and I stumbled forward, vowing to get him later. He was leaving me to deal with this on my own! I gave him a just-you-wait glare, which he replied to with a mischievous smile. I turned back to Hahm-san and swallowed nervously, then managed a fairly decent bow. "I'm Tamure Doulin, ma'am."   
"Doulin, Doulin… Where have I…?" She glanced in her son's direction and he nodded calmly.   
"I…" I knew it was a risk, but I felt like this had to be said. "I'm also Subaru."   
"Ah," she said firmly. "Now I understand."   
I didn't ask _what_ she understood; I was a _slight_ bit too nervous.   
"Well, what brings you two up here?" she asked, stepping forward a bit and opening another door. "Is something happening at the palace?" She held the door open and gestured for us to go in before her. We stepped into a comfortably, if sparsely, furnished multi-purpose room; it clearly served as the main eating area in addition to where they entertained guests. I sat down nervously, Tokaki flopping next to me as Hahm-san closed the door. _Hahm-san_… It suddenly hit me that very soon _I_ would be Hahm-san, and apparently a small goofy smile spread across my face because Tokaki's mother gave me a strange look. "Or is it something else?"   
"Thought you might like to hear the news, if you haven't already," Tokaki said easily beside me. "We found Amefuri at last. The summoning will happen in two days. And then everyone will be safe."   
"Oh, thank Byakko!" she cried happily, impulsively running forward to hug us both. "I'm so relieved! It took so long, I was beginning to give up all hope!"   
Tokaki grinned. "It was never that desperate, although sometimes it sure felt like it. But we have other news as well."   
"What is it?"   
To my horror, Tokaki looked at me. "Why don't you tell? You haven't said much yet, for once."   
I let the jab go by, as there were slightly more urgent things to be dealt with. "Why me? She's _your_ mother."   
"But she's gonna want to hear it from both of us!"   
"Hear what?" Hahm-san asked, slightly impatiently. I could see her foot start tapping on the floor.   
Tokaki just shook his head. "Well, Okaa-san, it's important. You see, we… To put it bluntly, we love each other and we're getting married."   
She just stared at him, wide-eyed.   
"I'm… not… joking," he said slowly, separating each syllable and enunciating clearly as if he were talking to a deaf person. "I'm serious. I asked, and she said yes."   
"Is this true… Subaru?"   
I nodded, reaching for Tokaki's hand, which he willingly gave. "It is. I said I'd marry him. And I'm going to, because I love him."   
"You do know of his… colorful past, don't you?" she asked, looking directly at me. I suddenly saw where Tokaki got his piercing eyes, even if they weren't the same color.   
I nodded again, gripping his fingers tighter. "I had to, since he tried to pick me up the first time he saw me. But… We got to be friends, and he's a wonderful friend to have around." I could swear that Tokaki sat a little straighter and taller at that point. "And then a lot of stuff happened, and he was always there for me, and… I realized I loved him and I wanted to spend my life with him."   
She looked from one of us to the other, carefully, but I could see the joy beginning to creep into her face. "And you're both serious about this? You know what you're getting into, you're not doing anything rashly, and you are entirely certain that you want to be with each other forever?"   
"We're certain," Tokaki told his mother. "I've never been so certain of anything in my life." I nodded in agreement.   
Suddenly she smiled, and it was one of the most wonderful smiles I'd ever seen. "Then Byakko bless you both. Oh, Subaru, you don't know how long I've been waiting for this!" She came forward again to hug me tightly, and this time I was happy enough to hug her back as well.   
"Welcome to the family," she whispered.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
She served us a basic but very delicious lunch, and Tokaki mostly kept quiet as his mother and I chatted and got to know each other. By the time the meal was finished, I felt quite at ease with her and wondered why I'd ever felt nervous.   
"By the way, where's the scamp?" Tokaki inquired as we cleared the table.   
"Scamp?" I asked, puzzled.   
"His little brother," his mother clarified. "We call him 'scamp' sometimes. We used to call Lanva 'monster,' because he was." She threw her tomato-red son a grin. "She's your fiancée, she should know all about you. I can tell her more, if you like."   
"Not on your life!" Tokaki protested.   
She gave me a look that promised I'd hear more later. "He should be back when he gets hungry; he and his friends went to cause havoc again this morning."   
"That's good, he's carrying on the family tradition."   
"Not too many people are happy about it. Still, he's a good boy, all in all." Suddenly she straightened from the pile of dishes and cocked her head as if she heard something. "In fact… here he comes now."   
I very distantly heard the sound of the door in the outer wall slamming, then much more distinctly the front door slammed and feet pounded down the hall. "Okaa-san! Okaa-san, we got 'em we got 'em!" A boy about twelve with Tokaki's lanky build but surprisingly dark hair skidded into the kitchen, nearly whooping with joy. "You shoulda seen it, he never knew what happened, the whole cart just came apart- Aniki! You're here!"   
"You think I had somewhere better to be?" Tokaki demanded, grabbing his brother and putting him in a headlock to ruffle his hair mercilessly. The boy yelped and flailed loudly, trying to get away, but couldn't break free. Hahm-san didn't treat it as if it were anything out of the ordinary, which it almost definitely wasn't.   
After a couple of minutes, Tokaki let his brother go, and the boy dodged quickly out of the way, his arms flung up to protect his head. "Damnit Aniki, why d'you _always_ do that?!"   
"Now now, watch your language in the presence of a lady," Tokaki replied idly.   
"What lady?! Ack!" he yelped, catching sight of me for the first time. "Who're you?"   
"Don't mind your brother, he could use a few lessons too," I said with a wicked grin at Tokaki.   
He groaned. "Is every female against me now?"   
I just ignored him. "I'm Tamure Doulin, or Subaru."   
"Subaru?! Another seishi?!"   
I looked at Tokaki. "Is everyone gonna react like this?"   
He shrugged. "Might, might not. Depends on the person. Tell her your name, kid," he said to his brother.   
"I'm Kinji," he said excitedly. "I'm older than I look! I'm almost thirteen!"   
"He's picking up your habits, Lanva," their mother muttered.   
"Why're you blaming me?!"   
I shook my head and hid a laugh; things definitely weren't boring around here. "I'm sorry, you're a bit too young for me."   
"Oh," Kinji said, deflating dejectedly. "Damn."   
"Besides, you pull any moves on her and I'll have to kill ya," Tokaki told his brother.   
Kinji snorted. "Kill me? Why?"   
"She's mine," he replied idly.   
Kinji's jaw dropped open, and he stared at his brother with wide eyes. "Are you serious, Aniki?"   
"Do you consider the fact that we're getting married proof of my seriousness?"   
"WHAT?! MARRIED?!" the boy yelled, then moaned and slumped over. "Why d'you have all the luck?"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The Hahm household was still in chaos when we escaped. "Is it always that excited in there?" I asked Tokaki once his mother and brother could no longer hear us.   
"Usually," he replied casually. "You get used to it. It's fun. Come on, this way!" He grabbed my hand and broke into a run, forcing me to run after him, dodging alarmed people and ducking under outstretched arms that were trying to catch us and stop our reign of chaos. Once I got my feet under me it was fun, and I ran along with him, laughing and dodging and generally feeling like a kid.   
A few minutes later we pulled to a stop, and I could tell that we were in the "money" section of town: all the buildings were large, in good repair, and the streets were much wider. I glanced at Tokaki, wondering what he was thinking of now. He shook his head and led me through the streets again as I was by now hopelessly lost (again). Everything was very grand and some were extremely ornate, and I kept craning my neck to look at things. Tokaki looked back at me once and caught me gawking like a child at one building with lots of gold trim on it, and he burst out laughing. "You act like you've never seen stuff like this before!"   
"Well not outside the palace! You don't expect it out here!"   
"Actually, you're kind of right," he admitted. "Town houses for the nobles here, mostly. Not many of them actually have people in them."   
"Why are we here?"   
He looked back again and grinned. "I want to show you where we're going to live."   
My jaw dropped as Kinji's had earlier, but Tokaki took no notice of it and kept weaving through the crowd. The further we went the more I noticed a decrease in the gaudiness of our surroundings: the buildings were still large, most with two stories, but they looked sturdy and serviceable, built to last, not show wealth. Tokaki drew to a slow halt in front of a gate whose door was hanging open, showing a bit of a large courtyard inside and a two-story house, and even a lot of trees. "Is this it?"   
He nodded, folding his arms over his chest and looking up at the high wall and the roof of the building visible above it. "Yep. It's not inhabited now, one of the nobles actually owns it. He's a good guy, though. We'll have to clean it up, but everything we need is there, especially since we're gonna have the kids living with us as well."   
"Are…" I started hesitantly. "Are you sure we can afford it?"   
He gave one firm nod, still looking at the roof. "Positive. I know that guy actually; I taught his son martial arts and some weapons work. He likes me, and he's said that if I ever needed anything to come to him and he'd try to help. He'll let us pay bit by bit also, sort of like renting it, but the money will all go to the final purchase."   
"You've really got this all worked out, don't you?" I said, impressed.   
He finally looked down and grinned. "Started working on the arrangements the moment we got back, if that's what you mean. Think about it," he whispered, taking my hand and pulling me inside the open door in the wall. "A place of our own. Our home… Possibly even our children's home…"   
I just smiled and kissed him.   
We broke apart reluctantly a few minutes later; we both knew that we were in no place to start anything serious. Tokaki tried to cover up his "frustration" with a brisk shake of his head. "Feel up to visiting one more place?"   
"What is it?" I ventured cautiously. The day had given me enough surprises as it was.   
"Something very special to me. Nothing bad, I promise you." He gave me a grin and left me with that enigmatic answer.   
I didn't mind, so we once again found our way through the maze of streets that led back to the poorer section of the capital (he still leading me). We stopped once, at a vendor, and he purchased a large amount of a very sugary candy, one of the kinds Masame liked.   
I eyed the bag dubiously. "Is that dinner or something?" I could already feel the potential stomachache.   
"Not for us, definitely," he replied with an expression that matched my imaginings. "But let's go, we're almost there."   
"_Where_ is _there_?"   
"Find out!" he laughed, and ran off. I yelled after him and proceeded to chase him flat out, not caring if I looked undignified or not. He jumped a stack of crates and pulled a sudden right into an alley, vanishing from my sight. I ran after him, and… he wasn't there.   
I stared at the back wall for a moment, wondering if it had swallowed him or something, when I realized that it wasn't a dead end, but rather a bizarre turn. One of the buildings was newer and didn't quite fit in with the architecture around it, cutting off the clear turn and only leaving a opening large enough for a normal-sized person to get through if they turned to the side. I did so immediately after I figured it out, and sure enough there was Tokaki across the street, in the yard of a building that had no surrounding wall.   
Recognition hit me upside the head at once: it was the same alley, and same building, I'd followed him to the day I'd flipped out and run away, the one with all the children. Since then I'd occasionally been trying to think of an explanation for everything that I saw, and the only thing that I'd been able to come up with was that maybe they were _his_ kids from previous flings. But it was a pretty bad theory; the oldest child I'd seen had to have been Masame's age, which meant that he would have to have been a father at _ten_. Somehow I didn't think even Tokaki was that bad. He glanced back to see what was keeping me, and I hurriedly pulled myself the rest of the way out of the alley and crossed the street to stand next to him. "What is this place?"   
"Shh," he whispered, watching the front door of the building closely. "It's part of the ritual."   
The door he was watching crashed open with a BANG and a mini-flood of humanity came pouring out. I recognized at least three of the children from when I'd been spying before, and there were four others who I weren't sure if I'd seen or not. "Lanva-sama! Lanva-sama!" they cried joyfully, their voices a mass of cheerful noise. They _all_ charged at us recklessly, but also every one of them pulled to a sudden stop when they noticed that no, their Lanva-sama was not alone. Fourteen eyes stared straight at me.   
"Who's that?" one girl asked. I was almost sure she'd been the older girl who I'd seen before. "What's she doing here?"   
"Kids, this is my friend Doulin. She wanted to meet you all." Tokaki gave me a push forward, and I stumbled to get my feet underneath me, trying to keep my balance. I ended up a bare two feet from the kids, all of them still watching me intently, curiously, and one or two slightly angrily. I was stealing their Lanva-sama's attention, after all. But he didn't notice, instead began rattling off names. "Doulin, this is Mizuki, Ryushi, Ayame, Utamuro, Tsuya, Rieko, and Naizen." He pointed from left to right as he named them, and they each bowed as he pointed at them. Mizuki was the eldest girl I'd seen before, but I couldn't remember if Ayame, Tsuya, or Rieko was the younger girl; all three looked very similar. Ryushi was definitely the boy who I'd pegged as a Tokaki-worshipper, though. Naizen and Utamuro were too small to have gotten those ideas into their brains yet. "Kids, say hi. I think you'll like Doulin, she likes children."   
"DINNER!" A new female voice exploded out of the house. "Come eat or get left out! Dinner!"   
Without fail, every one of the seven children turned their backs on us and ran into the house as enthusiastically as they'd run out.   
I looked at Tokaki, once again slightly overwhelmed. "What's this all about? Who are all these kids?"   
He gestured at the building, which seemed to look even smaller now that I knew there were at least eight people in there. "This place is an orphanage. All those kids' parents are dead, mostly from the war. Omori Tai, that woman who just yelled, takes them all in and cares for them. People around here give her money and clothes to help, and she raises them well. Every one of them's as respectful as can be."   
"Something they definitely didn't learn from you," I teased him.   
"Did I ever claim they did? I just come around every once in a while and take care of the kids, let her have a day off. She's raising eleven on her own."   
"_Eleven?!_"   
He nodded, grinning at my shock. "Yep, eleven. Now you see why the community supports her." He sighed a bit and looked back at the house, a little sadness coming into his eyes. "Those kids were never rich to begin with, farmers' or low-ranking soldiers' children mostly. Siblings died of starvation, they were living in the streets until Tai found them and brought them here. Thanks to her, they'll have a chance at life when they get older."   
"All right," I said, stepping back and crossing my arms over my chest with a determined look on my face. "Who are you and what have you done with Tokaki?"  
  
"Tokaki's dead. I'm his evil twin," he said with a straight face.   
"Oh yeah? Prove it," I dared him.   
"How?"   
I smirked slowly. "Don't touch me at all for a full day."   
"WHAT?!"   
"You lied, you're Tokaki."   
He just grumbled and went inside, leaving me to follow him, laughing my head off. I had a very useful weapon in my hands, a very useful one indeed…   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Well, how many of you are drowning in sap now?   
Like I said, this was the ONLY chapter I got written at my summer program, and since I got back from that, I've only gotten about four-five pages on Chapter 28. So much happens in that one, or gets set up, that I wanted to take my time and get it right. And then I got writer's mountain... and then my entire life got taken up with college things and AP classes and drama etc... So no, it's not finished. It probably won't be finished soon, either, so I am now officially placing this fic on a AIWI basis [Eye-we basis: As I Write It basis]. Yeah, no more regular updates on Market, I'm sorry to say. But the fact that it lasted for six months makes me proud. I'm definitely not abandoning it (I would NEVER do that!), but for now I need to get a lot of stuff sorted out in my life, both for this year and next. So... It'll come when it comes. When I find the time.   
On a slightly _less_ depressing note, those kids from chapter 18 finally got explained! And we meet Tokaki's family! Oh, to anyone who liked Kinji - I'm sorry, Bashou claimed rights on him back in June. Ask her nicely and she might let you glomp him. The Hahms will definitely be back, as will the Tamures, so that should be fun. See ya all! ~huggles~ You all are so great! 


	30. Chapter 28: Byakko

  
DISCLAIMER: I finally banged this chapter out, but it STILL ain't mine!   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yeaaaaaahhhhhhh... It's here! ~grins~   
I'm not pleased with parts of it, but I can't think of any ways to fix it so you all get to be mass beta-readers and tell me stuff ~firm nod~ Constructive criticism is the greatest thing you could give me (aside from massive amounts of money, but I've made a study and found that fanfiction authors are generally broke).   
I'm trying to get a decent amount of sleep tonight so I don't get sick again, so we're gonna cut my inane babble short and go straight to replies, okay?   
Skittles - you may have this spare turbe of toothpaste ~hands it over with a grave manner~ And grrrrrrr... I'm _not_ that talented. And sorry, but Bashou/Ru grabbed glomping rights back in _June_. If you ask her (and him) nicely, you might get to - in fact, read her review for the last chapter and find out how to do it!   
ember-fang, ahh the continuation of my kanji education! ~shrugs~ I still think she's using the Japanese kanji. After all, in the original Japanese manga (which I own - I'm such a nerd) all the names are in Japanese as well. Hey, use what ya know, right? You may be right about the old word thing though, Watase-sensei did some tremendous research to get a lot of stuff right.   
Lanen, yeah, if only we all had his family ~grins~ But actually, he and his mother didn't get along that well until about a year or two ago - stuff about his dad walking out on him when Kinji was still real young hung over about a decade. Yeah, Tokaki's father walked out on his family. Scumbag. But I think the kids turned out all right, don't you? ~grins~   
Lena, glad I was right! And high school is allowed to steal your brain - don't ask me how I held on to mine (or if I even did, I'm not sure myself on that point) as long as you don't become entirely obsessive-compulsive about it. Several of my friends have, and it's scary --;;;; And just plain wrong. And actually, I wrote most of this back in April. I've only done three... four chapters since then --;;;; Writer's block sucks. But now we're back in firm, I know-what-I-want-to-happen-and-when territory, so it should go a little better when I get the chance to write.   
~pokes Ishi~ I think I killed it with sap...   
CLAMP, thank god someone understands! Actually, "my" computer is above out garage, in the family office, so it's pretty private. It's just when I'm away from home that's the problem (like this summer). And I don't think you _want_ to know what job Karasuki's being offered - I don't, because if I was there I wouldn't want to have to turn her in! ~grins~ And glad you liked him, and it. And boy, I hope I do too... RESEARCH PAPER IS NOW! DAMNIT!   
Chibigreen, he wasn't ~grins~ I think he had about half an hour's total face time. maybe forty-five minutes. Suba-chan was about the same - what led me to obsessing over these guys? I have nooooo idea...   
Kris... Gah, you know it all ~grins~ Just don't kill him, OK? I need him alive for later purposes! And we've already had the "it can't happen" talk, haven't we...? Ah well, we can have it now if we want! ~cracks up~   
Actually, Bashou/Ru (she prefers most people to call her Ru or Ruism) is the Official Glomper of Tokaki, although I think I have temporary custody of him until she gets her page sorted out - is that what's going on, Bashou? I'll update as frequently as possible - we're winding down, but we're nowhere CLOSE to the end if I have my say in things!   
Bashou, bet you're happy, huh? ~grins~ Actually being _online_ back then paid off for you. And you _were_ getting better - where the hell've you been lately?! And I'll take him in name - I can't take him in badge because if I did _I_ could get kicked off!   
Draconsis, you seem to be the ONLY one who thinks that ~grins~ Which is all right! Different opinions are great! And yep, some things have been cleared up, there was no CLIFFHANGER, and things have been set up! My god, it's the a-typical chapter!   
Elwing - CRITICAL APPROACH GOOD! ~GLOMPS Elwing, ICNREDIBLY happy~ That's what I thrive on! It's stuff like that that lets me know what to do with everything, how people see aspects of the characters and the story, what I'm doing WRONG, and sometimes comments even set new ideas in my mind! They make me think! I love thinking about _why_ this happened and why _this_ character has _this_ trait and reviewer's comments help set my brain working. Okay, I'm stopping the raving. I know he sounded like Tama for a minute there - it was one of my major concerns about this chapter. But he's just being practical. After all, he doesn't wanna live in a slum the rest of his life, does he? He's gonna need money for that new life. So he saved. Then he got a real job offer, so he could put the saved money to another good use. See? Practicality. More men need it.   
Flying heart, yay! ~glomps~ Thanks for not disappearing! ~grins~   
Lib-Chan, I'm SO SORRY about not mailing you! ^^;;;; I SWEAR I'm gonna try and do it this week! I just got caught up in things, plus October's been the Month from Hell, but you'll get the info! I promise! Okay, yep, the two families will meet. And it'll probably be entertaining if I know their families ~grins~   
Juuf! Somehow I get the feeling I'm gonna lose my hearing from you, in one place or the other... ~grins~ And it's not that good, but I love writing it and I'm so glad you love reading it! Just hope it lives up to expectations!   
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Espeon! Don'tdon'tdon'tdon'tdon'tdon'tdon'tdon'tdon't! Don't worship! NO! I'm NOT THAT GOOD! Damn, getting into this with another person [no Kris I wasn't about to type Another Story, honest ^^;;;]. And I wouldn't try the water balloons - I got a flamethrower ^________^   
Alright, even though I've got two and a half pages of 29, this story's still on AIWI status. I've come up with about five other projects to work on, and I wanna see how much I can get done in Rebirth (the Curse of Ryuen is upon me! No! No! I will fight! I will not succumb!). Not only that, but I have the bane of school existence - THE RESEARCH PAPER - to work on right now. Honestly, they suck - you can't really use your own ideas. I love literature more than the next person, but research papers are so... rigid and uncompromising. In 10th I got a whole 10% of my grade knocked off because of some silly comma rule that even my _teacher_ needed to look up. Gah. But it's over a play that's fantastic (_Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?_ by Edward Albee) so it's not as bad as 10th... Then again I had _The Glass Menagerie_ then... Okay, stopping now.   
Don't be surprised if I refinish this chapter some more. There's still a couple things outta whack. If you find something you think I missed, let me know and I'll try to work on it, okay? Okay. ~firm nod~   
  


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I was still celebrating my triumph as we walked in the door, but it was suddenly cut off suddenly as I felt something pulling on my clothes, and I looked down to see what it was. One of the little girls was there, Rieko, I thought it was, and she was tugging on my pants leg. "Excuse me, ma'am," she chirped in a high voice. She couldn't be more than four, but she was definitely polite. "What's your name again?"   
I smiled down at her, attempting to put her at ease, and gently detached her fingers from my clothes so I could kneel down and look her in the face. "I'm Tamure Doulin, but you can just call me Doulin."   
"What are you doing here with Lanva-sama? Can I have your hair?" Her fingers didn't seem to like being idle, and they wrapped around a lock of my hair, pulling it forward for her to look at.   
"I'm his-" I started, but cut myself off when I realized I wasn't sure how Tokaki wanted to explain our relationship to these kids. It was pretty much his decision, as he was the one who knew them.   
Tokaki seemed to sense my thoughts because he knelt down as well, grinning easily. "Doulin here's my friend. We came to see how you all were doing. Come on, you'll miss dinner." He stood swiftly, catching the girl under one arm so she was pulled up, laughing, with him, my hair sliding out of her grip. She immediately locked both arms around his neck happily and held on as Tokaki led me down the hall in the direction of the kitchen/eating room.   
The scene once we got there was one of barely controlled chaos: ten bodies were already in there, most of them dashing this way and that between the extra long table set up in the middle of the room and various "stations" set up around the perimeter. The "stations" were clearly divided into things like "plates," "cups," and the actual food, and one or two children were making trip after trip to and from each station to set out the things needed for a fourteen-person meal. It wasn't at all like a conventional kitchen, but it worked very well for the large household. Each child knew without question what his or her assigned duty for that meal was, but they didn't stay quiet. Instead of questions, happy noisy chatter flew across the room.   
There was one person who wasn't moving, but rather standing in the corner and surveying everything with a firm eye. She looked to be about forty or so, with pale violet hair done up in a simple bun on the back of her head and a ramrod-straight back. There was the air of a strict army general about her, but she also seemed compassionate and kind. I assumed at once that this was Omori Tai.   
Tokaki proved me right two seconds later. "Doulin," he said as we dodged flying children to cross to her, "this is Omori Tai. Tai-san, this is Tamure Doulin."   
I bowed, and when I straightened again Tai was appraising me closely. I stood still and let her inspect me, feeling no more than the slightest bit uncomfortable; for all her intimidating presence I got the idea that she'd be slow to anger or disapproval. Tokaki watched Tai's face closely, much more pensively than I did, as if he was more worried about her approval.   
"Well," she began at last. Her voice was kind, but nothing out of the ordinary. "Where did you get this one?"   
He lowered his voice to almost a non-perceptible level I had to strain to hear over the children. "She's a seishi, Tai-san."   
"I guessed that," she replied in a voice just as low. "So how serious are you this time?"   
Tokaki turned incredibly red and his eyes narrowed a bit as his voice became more of a hissed whisper. "I brought her _here_, I never do that! I'm _serious_ this time!"   
"Are you telling the truth?"   
I kept my mouth shut.   
Tokaki nodded emphatically.   
After a second she nodded once and folded her arms. "I just don't want to see a nice girl get hurt, that's all."   
At that point my attention was ripped away from Tokaki and Tai by a force barreling into my side and knocking me to the floor, accompanied by the sound of lots of chopsticks hitting a wooden floor. I rolled into the wall, ending up in a sitting position, but my back was on the floor and my legs were splayed up the side of the wall. It was very disconcerting. I glanced around hazily for what had hit me.   
"Oh no, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Doulin-sama!" A boy's face appeared to hover over mine, looking at me fearfully and concernedly. "I lost my footing, I'm sorry!"   
"It's all right," I replied, shaking my head a little to get rid of the fog. Most of the commotion in the kitchen had stopped at the collision as several little eyes turned to watch us.   
Tokaki's face appeared on the other side from the boy. "Are you all right?!"   
"I've had worse, remember? Please move back." The boy scrambled back immediately, but Tokaki didn't budge, instead reaching down to help me up. I rolled my eyes and bent my arms back, placing my hands firmly on the floor, then kicked off of the wall into a backwards somersault that brought me to my feet again. A shower of chopsticks from my hair completed the effect. "See? I'm fine."   
"All right, enough gawking! If you don't want your food to be cold then I suggest you finish setting the table!" Tai's voice broke through the children's trances, and they immediately resumed yelling to each other and rushing about to complete their chores, the older girls and all the boys giving playful punches to the boy that had run into me as he tried to gather the dropped utensils.   
"Where'd you learn that?" Tokaki asked, a hint of approval in his voice.   
"Around," I replied vaguely, giving him a grin.   
"Um… Doulin-sama?" I turned around once again and the boy was there, his head hung and hands folded behind his back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to knock you over."   
"It's all right, I'm fine," I reassured him. "What's your name?"   
He looked up, displaying wide brown eyes that went well with his dark blue hair. "Naizen."   
"Well, it's perfectly all right Naizen, accidents happen." I smiled and winked at him. "You should see when me and my siblings get to playing."   
"You have siblings?" he asked with interest. I remembered Tokaki's comment that a lot of these children had deceased siblings as well as parents, and wondered if it was true with this boy as well. "How many?"   
"Two sisters, one older and one younger." "How many" typically encompassed the age and gender questions also. "My brother died in the war."   
"Oh… mine too," he said quietly, once again looking down. "They attacked our town and I was the only one in my family to survive."   
I shook my head. War was an atrocity enough when it involved only grown adults, or at least people mature enough to make adult decisions, such as Kokie. Having a child witness his own family's death went beyond inhumane. "But you have a new family here, don't you?"   
"Oh yes!" he said, brightening immediately but perhaps being a bit too forceful. "It's wonderful here. There's always someone to play with."   
"Are you two gonna eat or not?" Tokaki broke in impatiently. I glanced up to see the other ten children, Tai, and he spread out along the table, each in front of a hot plate of food (and with clean chopsticks, I noticed). There were only two places left, at the end of the table next to each other.   
I looked back at Naizen and smiled. "Shall we?"   
"Hai!" He ran to drop his handfuls of chopsticks in a bucket of water, then grabbed my hand as he zoomed past again and pulled me to the table.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
My eyes snapped open a day and a half later of their own accord.   
It was the day of the summoning.   
"So you're finally awake," Tokaki's voice said next to me, but without the usual teasing mirth. "I was wondering how long it'd take you to wake up."   
I turned over on my side to face him, bringing up one finger to stroke his jaw line almost absently. "Couldn't you sleep?"   
"No," he said flatly. "Not much. I kept thinking about that damn book you found and wondering what's going to happen to Suzuno with all this…"   
"We couldn't do much even if something were to happen," I said quietly, my hand and eyes dropping back to the blankets. "Byakko's a god."   
"God or no god, he's not getting Suzuno without a fight from us." I looked up quickly again at the growl in his voice, something I'd only heard him use when referring to me. It startled me; I wasn't jealous, but it demonstrated just how attached he'd grown to Suzuno over the months… as we all had, as an answering fire seemed to flame up in my heart. Something inside me seem to whisper that if Byakko had given us these powers then he better damn well be prepared to deal with the consequences… such as not doing things to the miko, who was trying to help everyone, even him. He wouldn't much like the results if he did, the voice seemed to whisper. And I found myself very happy to go right along with whatever it was planning. _No one_ would attack my new sister if I had my say in it.   
"Do you have any ideas?" I asked in low tones, as if I was still afraid Byakko would hear and punish me somehow for my insubordination.   
He sighed in frustration and shook his head almost violently. "None. Not even sitting up all night helped. Nearest I can come up with is if he _does_ try to do something, we rush him. If he shows physically, that is."   
"What if he doesn't?"   
"Then I don't know what we're going to do…"   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Breakfast was… an experience I'll not be likely to forget, but I'll definitely want to. Tatara, Suzuno, Tokaki, and I all knew the truth of the book and what might be likely to happen at the summoning later that morning, and we were suspiciously silent, glancing at one another over our rice but not saying much aside from that. Amefuri, that complete enigma to us, also sat quietly, not eating, but just staring at his food with an expression I'd never seen on his face before. It was something close to wonder, but wasn't quite… I could only be thankful that it wasn't his usual scowl. Only Kokie, Karasuki, and Toroki were really talking, but it was quick and somewhat strained, as if they were picking up on the tension without knowing what it was and trying desperately to cover it up. Inoue wasn't there with us, or it might have felt even slightly more comfortable to be in that room. But as it was…   
"What are you going to do after this is all over?" Kokie asked Toroki when the two of them were done eating.   
Toroki shrugged, setting his chopsticks down carefully on the rim of his bowl. "Probably go back home, find my family again. I don't know if they're still in our village; I almost hope not. They're more likely to be safe if they aren't."   
"Tatara, what shall _you_ do?" Karasuki asked in a significant tone.   
Tatara glanced up, startled at being addressed, tried to take a breath in the middle of swallowing, and nearly choked. Tokaki pounded him helpfully on the back while he coughed to clear his airway, and then took a quick drink of tea. He sighed and shook his head. " Excuse me, please. I feel so foolish."   
"Do not fret, Tatara," Karasuki replied with a hint of a smile, forced, around her eyes. "We have all done so in the past. But where shall you retire to?"   
He remained silent for a moment, then glanced at Suzuno, unable to hide the troubled expression on his face or the tremor in his voice when he spoke. She watched him with the same expression, longing worry. "I hope to remain here… I sincerely hope… it's possible…"   
"What's going on?"   
A single phrase split through our taut reverie, shocking all of us nearly to death. I hadn't heard that rough voice in days, but I knew immediately who it was. We all did. We all spun to stare at Amefuri, dumbfounded that he'd finally made his presence known and wondering what in the _hell_ he meant.   
"What's going on?" he repeated slowly when no one answered him, as if he was talking to a bunch of idiots. He had gone the entire meal staring at his food, his hair spilling forward to hide most of his face, but at last he looked up. His eyes were narrow, not with rage as they had been when we'd first confronted him, but with justified anger so intense it took almost all of the human feelings out of his face. His expression was so shocking, so statue-like, it burned all our words away like they were leaves and he was flame.   
"Am I talking to a bunch of dull-brained nitwits?" he asked slowly, deliberately, as he slowly put his hands on the table and rose to his feet, leaning over the table and staring directly into my face. Almost as if he was accusing me. I gulped and tilted back as he moved forward, leaning back a little farther with each moment in order to get away from the frightening face. "Are the seishi really that much of a half-witted group to think that they can conceal anything? Something's going on and I intend to find. Out. What."   
"Listen you, nothing's going-" I began, but got no farther before Tokaki pushed me to the side and stepped in front of Amefuri himself, staring back at him with a gaze just as intimidating and just as emphatic.   
"If you don't sit down right now," he said, his words made of pure, understated ice, "I will punch you in the jaw and break it. Then your arms. Then your legs."   
"But not my neck, eh?" Amefuri shot back, a grim little smile on his face that was little more than a twist of the corner of his mouth. "Not my neck, not my back, not my head, because you need me. You can't do it without me, and you know it. If you could, why did you put it off so long? You may not need all the seishi healthy, but they have to be _conscious_, which implies being _alive_. So, much as you would like to," he smirked, "you can't do anything to me until after the ceremony - and by then I'll be gone." Tokaki snarled and began to jump, fist raised.   
A metallic noise broke through the dead silence, a scraping, strangely musical tone - and a sword was thrust quite calmly between Amefuri and Tokaki, forming a steel barrier between the two combatants. Its hilt rested in Tatara's hand. Before then I hadn't even known he was wearing a sword, much less a live one; the blade was clearly sharpened, though dully, and was awfully thin. But there was no doubt it could be as deadly as one three times its width.   
"Infighting isn't going to help us now," Tatara stated calmly, somehow managing to keep his eyes on both Amefuri and Tokaki at the same time. "For this ceremony to work, we need to cooperate. We need to become one, only for a few moments, yes, but if those few moments do not happen than we will fail. And at this rate, we're going to fail." He withdrew his sword, but left it unsheathed and in a position to drop down and form the barrier again in case either of them decided to ignore him.   
Neither on of them backed down, but neither tried to tear out the other's throat. They reminded me so much of two wolves battling for territorial rights that I half expected them to grow fur right then and there. Nothing so drastic happened, but the tense, troubled silence dragged out, and out, and out…   
Until Karasuki broke it by pushing back her hair, standing, and placing a hand on Amefuri's shoulder, making him jump a little and look at her in surprise. She didn't notice his reaction though, just watched Tokaki and me with a calm, straight face. "I, too, would like to know what is the problem."   
Another chair scraping along the floor, another person standing. "And me," added Kokie.   
"Me too," Toroki added from his seat.   
I glanced uneasily at Suzuno and Tatara, not sure what they wanted to do - this situation concerned them more than anyone. Suzuno looked pale, so very pale, almost as pale as when she had been ill, and Tatara's face had an ashen, haggard look to it. They looked at each other as well, and I could clearly see them come to the mutual decision that, much as they wanted to, they couldn't avoid telling the truth.   
"I'll be right back," I said quietly when I saw their defeat, pushing back my chair and making my way out of Suzuno's room, ignoring Amefuri's demand that I stay and listen to it since I was obviously part of it. He'd understand in a minute. I walked down the veranda to my and Tokaki's room, but spun before I reached the door, knowing someone was there.   
I was right; Tatara had followed me, sword still drawn. I glanced at it, then up at him, giving him a slightly bitter and ironic half-smile. "Don't trust me not to run away again?"   
"What? Oh." He looked momentarily at the blade, then back at me as he shook his head. "I trust you completely, but I'd rather not waste time if those two go at it again." He didn't have to say who "those two" were. "And… I need to tell someone this, and you're the calmest person around at the moment."   
I made a face and turned to enter the room, Tatara at my heels. "Somehow I doubt this is the time for Big Bad Revelations." I yanked open a drawer in the dresser, trying to remember where I'd placed the tiny book from Hokkan and searching through my clothes.   
"If it's not now, there won't be a better time."   
I looked up, a long, low-cut shirt in hand; Tatara's voice was solemn enough to creep me out. He was staring at me with an expression so sober that none of the monks I'd ever met could top him. I suddenly got the distinct feeling that he'd been carrying a double weight of secrets, and concealing the second half from all of us. And if, as I suspected, it had something to do with… "Tatara… Why are you carrying a sword?"   
He looked down at it once more, for a long time, hefting it to chest height and staring at it. He didn't answer me until he could tear his eyes away from their reflection in the metal. "Because I'm scared, Suba-chan."   
Something was wrong. He almost never called me by that name, even with as close as we were. His eyes plainly showed his worry, and I knew enough about him to know that he only displayed his worry in extreme situations. "We're summoning a god today, Suzuno might… A-And I was talking with Heika-sama a couple of days ago, when you and Tokaki were out, studying the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho again… And there's something there that we never noticed, none of us."   
"What?" I asked cautiously, teetering on the edge of full panic.   
"When we summon Byakko, we all have to lower our ki to the lowest possible level, leaving us defenseless. But it takes so much energy to summon a god, that when we lower our ki, we're unconsciously giving it to the miko in order to help her… And after… we'll be helpless."   
My jaw dropped. "We won't have our powers again?!"   
"No, nothing that drastic. But we won't have them for a while. And if something goes wrong, where we desperately need our powers… Then we're no better than ordinary humans." He held up the sword again, almost offering it to me, but I knew better than to reach out and take it. "That's why I have a sword. I'd rather have something around to defend with."   
To tell the truth, I didn't see it as drastically as he did. We seishi might lose our powers for a few hours, but Suzuno would have already called Byakko, and could use the tiger god's wishes to save the country. We wouldn't be needed until the wishes were used up. But at the same time I could see his caution. And didn't…? "Wait a second." I turned back to the dresser and yanked out the second drawer, digging through my things until I finally found the small, dark-leather bound book that was the indirect cause of all the fighting this morning. I quickly paged through it, looking for the specific entry, glancing at everything along the way to give myself a quick refresher course in Genbu history. I finally found it when the word "summoning" caught my eye, and slowly started reading it. " 'However, after, Takiko-sama seemed to be in great pain, and… fainted… When she awoke, she claimed she felt as if she were being… eaten… alive…' " I looked up at him one more time, my eyes wide. "If Suzuno faints, she won't be able to use the wishes… And if we don't have our powers…"   
"Exactly," he said, his voice grim. "We're left wide open for anything."   
"What can we do?"   
"We just have to trust in Suzuno."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
An hour later some of the palace maids came to get Suzuno and take her to the purification bath, which would be taken in one of the garden pools, even though the temperature was freezing. Suzuno had said that she could stand just about any temperature water since the way they had to heat water where she lived was not very reliable, but there was still going to be someone around to make sure she didn't get sick from the cold water. The maids offered to let Karasuki and me come, since we were women and theoretically wouldn't act like two years olds, but only I accepted. I wanted to be there in case something _did_ happen and Suzuno would need me, but Karasuki elected to stay behind and continue grilling Tatara and Tokaki about the book. In the months following my return and discovery, I'd taught them both how to read it and what it said, and they were as knowledgeable about the scant information it gave as I was. We had shown the others the book and explained to them the story of Okuda Takiko, Genbu no Miko, and what exactly could happen to Suzuno, but they still demanded to know more, even though there seemed to be nothing else we could tell them.   
Amefuri, surprisingly, was almost the most vehemently vocal and opposed to anything going wrong. It was almost as if he _cared_ what happened to Suzuno and wanted to do everything he could to stop it. He caught me watching with a contemplative eye at one point, and even _blushed_. It was very strange. Maybe he wasn't as emotionally dead as we'd thought…   
I noticed that Tatara didn't breathe a word to the others about us not having our powers for a little, most likely hoping that Suzuno wouldn't faint and we wouldn't have to worry about it at all. He was the type to take the load entirely on himself to keep others from worrying, but it was playing havoc with his sense of needing to be prepared. I could see him nearly speak up about it more than once, then stop himself, wanting not to worry anyone yet wanting as many eyes looking out as possible. I decided not to say anything until he did, but he never actually went through with saying it. I came very close to simply grabbing him and shaking him until he let it drop, but controlled myself (barely) until the maids came. Going with Suzuno was as much to get away from the urge to make Tatara behave sensibly as to make sure our miko was all right.   
The maids were only three in number, and one of them was Inoue, who held Suzuno's incredibly formal miko robes and accessories draped over her arms as the most junior of the servants present. She had picked up on the tension in our group and knew subconsciously that something was wrong and was gripping my hand with her free one in an attempt to relieve herself of some of that sense. Neither of us spoke a word to each other, and the other two women remained as silent, although you could tell it was out of solemnity of the occasion and not on any feeling they had. So we could all plainly hear Suzuno's yelp when she stuck her foot in the water.   
"It's _freezing!_"   
"Miko-sama, you were told it would not be warm," one of the maids said in a calm, almost scolding tone. "You were very adamant about your ability to ignore the cold."   
"Suzuno-sama," Inoue spoke up, "if you want, we can go inside to the heated baths and you can-"   
"_Disrespectful little fool!_" the first maid snapped at Inoue, making my head swing around instantly to glare daggers at her. Not that she noticed. She was too busy railing at my friend. Her hand flashed up and slapped the girl across the cheek, leaving behind long nail scratches and making me have to catch Inoue to keep her on her feet. Unbelievably, I was too infuriated to get my voice to work and shout at the woman. "That is _impossible!_ You know the purification ritual must take place in exposed water! You dolt, you idiot, you stupid little girl, what are you thinking, trying to sabotage our link to our most worthy-"   
"_**HEY!**_"   
My eyes would have widened even more if it had been possible. Suzuno was losing her top. She'd spun to face us, and I'm sure we presented a strange tableau, what with the one maid (who was about ten or fifteen years my senior) leaning forward to yell in Inoue's face and almost about to hit her, and Inoue shrinking back against me almost in fear, and my fist unconsciously coming up to sock the overbearing annoying rampaging woman who would _dare_ insult my friend in front of my face and one arm around Inoue's shoulders to protect her, but Suzuno looked even stranger. And more frightening. Her hair had been let out of its braids for the purification bath and swung thickly and rippled around her in the light breeze that was coming through the garden, nearly as long as mine. She was also wearing no clothes in preparation for the bath, but none of us seemed to notice or care - she was vengeance personified, her eyes flaming at the older woman, not caring about that slight fact of age difference. Byakko, she was impressive.   
I felt a little sick delight about what was coming to the woman and was completely unrepentant about it.   
The maid was caught in Suzuno's stare as the younger girl folded her arms over her chest and stared at her almost belligerently. The miko didn't relax; instead, she drew herself up straighter. "Come here," she said flatly.   
Clearly not wanting to but also clearly looking angry at being spoken to that way by a junior, even if she _was_ the miko, the woman took one step, two, three - completely upright and looking justified the entire way. "Yes, Miko-sama?" she asked tersely when she was in front of Suzuno.   
And my miko calmly took a step to her right, unfolded her arms, grabbed the woman's decorative hairdo, and yanked-shoved-threw her into the freezing water.   
Over all the yelping, spluttering, and blood-curdling shrieking, Suzuno grinned brightly at the rest of us, picked up her clothes, and said quite calmly, "Let's find somewhere else for this, shall we?"   
The four of us walked away from the now "contaminated pool", the last maid giving Suzuno a very wide berth.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
I quickly healed Inoue's scrapes, remembering what she'd said so long ago about some of the other help bullying her, and also having pictures come to mind of when she'd occasionally turn up with some new scratch that she'd said was caused by purely accidental causes, like tripping and getting scratched by a branch. She might not have been lying at those times, but I'd been suspicious then and was fairly sure I'd just had my suspicions confirmed.   
I said nothing, though, as Suzuno finally took her bath (getting over her shivering by plunging head-first into the water without hesitation) and was lead off by Inoue and the other maid to get dressed, me following behind and keeping an eye on her color. She seemed all right, just shivering slightly as anyone would after that, but less than I expected. She was also much better after we left her in a bath chamber for fifteen minutes; she just sat there in the hot steam, getting feeling back in the end of her nose and letting her hair dry and fluff out.   
Watching her get dressed was actually a fairly fascinating experience - because, after all, how many preparations for god-summonings do you get to see in a lifetime? If the time span between the Genbu and Byakko seishi was any indication, this would be the only one I'd see, and all the rituals were very simple but incredibly important. First Suzuno had to submit to their hair treatment, after wrapping a robe about herself of simple, undyed cloth. Inoue and the other girl, who in reality was almost as old as the offensive maid, opted to leave Suzuno's hair free for the summoning, and being in braids so much had put irreversible ripples in it that were actually quite becoming when paired with her somewhat large (though not naïve) eyes. Then they applied her slight trace of makeup, starting at the top of her face and working down, just highlighting her best features and not overdoing it. Then she put on the deceptively simple outfit that had been especially made for her, as Byakko's Miko. The robe was in and of itself worth a fortune, made of expensive pure white silk that was incredibly form-fitting in some places and loose and fluttering in others. It was in two pieces, the bottom half a flowing, almost silvery-looking skirt that seemed like it could flare out in a flat circle around her hips if she twirled fast enough, and tied in the back with a bow of silver. The white top was a shirt that in some way reminded me of Karasuki's, as it left her stomach exposed to a few inches above and below her navel. But the part around her chest was much more clingy than Karasuki's clothing was - more like mine, although not as low cut. The shirt came as far up as a decent shirt was supposed to, and the sleeves flared out from her shoulders, made of pale silver gauze that was cut in a way that reminded me of the skirt. She wore no jewelry, but Inoue fixed a simple crown of winter flowers - white, of course - in her hair, and put silver slippers on her feet. All this clothing had to go on in a specific order, and between each step Suzuno said something under her breath that I couldn't quite catch, a faintly troubled yet fully determined look on her face. She was getting nervous, but wasn't going to let that stop her at all.   
I was spellbound at the end. She was no longer a sometimes too chipper, sometimes worrying, sometimes shy girl. She could have been a goddess herself for all I knew.   
If Tatara didn't fall at her feet, I'd be shocked.   
And not fifteen minutes later, the seven of us were arranged in a rough circle around the altar in the center of the palace's shrine to Byakko, an empty room that managed somehow to be impressive all at once. The walls were painted a soft white, and one of the four gods in animal form decorated each of them, mutely colored in their own hues - red for Suzaku, blue for Seiryu, green for Genbu, and white for Byakko. The floor was of dark hardwood, with inlays of some expensive-looking pale wood that could not have been from anywhere nearby arranged around the altar in a circle, each inlay portraying one of the constellations of Byakko. Tokaki's was right in front of the door, followed in a clockwise direction by Tatara's, Kokie's, mine, Amefuri's, Toroki's, and Karasuki's. We were all positioned on our respective constellation, which didn't exactly make me feel great. I would have much rather preferred to have Tokaki next to me, ready to reach out and take my hand to comfort me, than the still somewhat unpredictable Amefuri who at times still looked at me suspiciously. But since the morning, he'd gotten somehow… firmer seemed to be the only way to put it. He had a direct, determined look in his eyes that were focused solely on the altar in front of him, a calm mood settled on his face. He looked like the type of man he probably would have been if his life had gone right. It helped to reassure me - somewhat.   
He was watching Suzuno. Our miko stood on the raised platform the great burner stood on, the sacred fire lit in front of her, casting dancing shadows every which way in the room and giving all of us an orangish hue. In her hands, she held our old, cracked, but still perfectly clean Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho, open to the sacred chant that would call our god.   
"Remember, everyone," Tatara said, his voice a little lumpy, as if something was in his throat that he couldn't quit get rid of, "we need to lower our ki to nothing… if this calling is to succeed." We all nodded, no one else apparently worried about the possible dangers of this very action, and all around me, though I don't know how, I could feel the spirits of my "siblings" drop to nothing one after the other, and felt strangely lost without their presence around me. I was the last before Tatara, and we gave each other a slightly wide-eyed look before we mutually dropped our ki, knowing, as the others didn't, that we were feeding it to Suzuno. It was out of our hands now, and in hers.   
She didn't need a verbal prod. She knew, somehow; only a second after Tatara and I had reached our lowest point, she opened her mouth, took a deep breath, and began speaking in a clear, ringing voice the words that we had helped her memorize over the past three days, running her eyes over the characters on the scroll that were impossible for her to read, but acting like she could anyway. And as she spoke, I almost thought I could feel the thoughts of every person in the country, from the lowest peasant farmer's child to Heika-sama himself, echoing in my brain as they watched through my eyes.   
"The four palaces of the heaves. The four corners of the earth. In the name of sacred law, faith, and virtue… I summon thee, Byakko, guardian of the west."   
_She wasn't sixteen anymore._   
"I beseech you to appear on earth, from the palaces of heaven."   
_She was timeless._   
"For the sake of those here who adore you and who await your presence."   
_There was no danger._   
"Come to us! And with your mighty power, destroy all that is evil which threatens us. Save us and grant us our wishes."   
_Our miko would save us._   
"Descend to us now from the heavens above!"   
And in one swift motion as she finished the last word, she flung the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho into the fire.   
A blazing white light, the exponential equivalent of what was seen when I made my symbol shine its brightest, pierced the ceiling in a line of pure fire so brilliant and good that it hurt to look at, wind sweeping through the room and knocking us all off balance, all except for Suzuno, who just stood there with her head thrown back, watching the light descend to her like a tiger running at full speed. If I squinted hard enough, I could just make out the impression of Byakko's animal form, the white tiger, in the center of that light, part of the light, _the_ light itself, charging her with reckless abandon. I tried to cry out and reach out my arm to save her, but I was frozen in place, my vocal chords refuses to emit any sound, and I could only watch as the symbol of Byakko lit itself on her forehead and the white light barreled into her, flying into the ground.   
She didn't fall. She was held in the same position, head back, arms slightly spread from her sides, for what seemed like an eternity. I could tell that not one of us seishi could move, though we were all trying to; the power of Byakko that was normally so benevolent to us was now pinning us in place, preventing us from interfering in the miko's encounter with our god, the god we still couldn't see and I was starting to doubt we ever would. Then, suddenly, the light flew away from surrounding her form and pulled itself into an out of control, oversized shooting star that sped away from her, made a quick, graceful turn before it hit the wall, and plunged back to hit her in mid-chest, making her scream.   
And she fell.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: ~buffs her nails and casually dodges projectile weapons~ You were saying I'm evil? Well, I am. ~grins~   
My birthday's in less than two weeks! WHOO! Gads, I need money desperately... Got a con to save for! ~whoops~   
In the interest of saving my health I'm gonna cut it off here. Bye all! ~glomps~ 


	31. Chapter 29: San Negai Three Wishes

  
DISCLAIMER: Although it's winding down, I still haven't completed my goal of owning FY, damnit.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Wow look, this chapter only took me one month instead of five!   
Well, my research paper has come and gone, the holidays have come and gone, and I am now officially one year older, not to mention I've sent all my college apps off and am only waiting to hear from the places I applied (I'll let ya know how it turns out). I'm remodeling my website - yes, AGAIN, I got nearly done with a new layout then decided I didn't like it and scrapped the whole thing and started over. I made a different layout last night that looks kinda cool, but not quite what I wanted. It'll take awhile for me to figure out exactly what's going on - thank you all for being patient with me on that score!   
This chapter IS NOT HAPPY. And yes, once again I leave you hanging, but it's good for you! ^_^ You know I'm evil, this is a prime example. Okay, we'll just get on to the review replies, shall we?   
Darke Angel, of course I'm evil! And I can easily leave it like that. Many authors do it! ^_^   
Skittles, what _is_ it with you and wanting my male characters? But yes, you can have Naizen glomping rights, since you asked first (and were the only asker)! Glad someone likes him ^_^ I think all the kids are coming back later - I have a soft spot for kids, if you can't tell.   
Ishi, check at the bottom for notes about the conclusion. And I'm glad I changed your mind about this story! ~grins~ Just remember, I'm gonna rewrite the first parts - I'm not happy with them either.   
Umm, Lena... You might need this ~hands her a fleece-lined sleeping bag~ It's getting cold, even down here, and it'll take awhile ^^;;; Can't help it. I'm a "quality over quantity" person when it comes to actual writing, and as a result that means slow updates. But I'm so happy that everyone's stuck by me! And you might wanna put the Sap Meter away for now - not a heck of a lot coming up.   
CLAMP, it's all right, we all lose control of our lives sometimes (I do nearly every day!). Go to a doctor if it gets any worse, OK? For awhile there I was suffering under fatigue, and only a couple of at-home rest days helped. And e-mail me if ya want, OK? I'm always up for a chat. And thanks for the birthday wishes, it was very fun.   
Lanen, I know, I know, but that doesn't mean I can't think it's not up to par ~grins~ I've gotta thank you guys for not holding it against me though, ya'll're amazing, you know that? And I'm saving money! I'm putting some of my birthday money in the bank! ^_^ It's a start; I need a job. Severely.   
Chibigreen, _actually_... I sort of based Suzuno's reaction off Yui. You never see what happens to her - she gets the blue comet in the chest, then the view switches back to the Suzaku and Byakko with the monestary falling apart around them. Then she wakes up in Kutou's palace -obviously NOT the place she fell asleep or passed out or whatever. So I played "what if?" to fill in the blanks ~shrugs~ It works. And I'm glad you think my characters are real - I've grown slightly attached to them (gee, is THAT the understatement of the year or what?) and I'm always glad to hear that other people like them too ^_^   
Draconsis, thanks for the vote of confidence! ~grins~ And I know Sairou's a desert - but also at the current time they're stuck somewhere in January, I think, so the outside temperature is at a low point and water doesn't heat very easily. Soooooooo... I reasoned it'd be cold. And who knows, maybe it's in shadow ^_^   
Bashou, gee, you noticed that too? ~ironic tone right there~ I'm amazed as many people found it as it turned out - I thought it'd be buried! ~grins~ And what head wounds? I can defend myself! And yeah, everyone's reaction to these guys has _floored_ me - these are mostly original characters! There is a very long tradition of dislike of OCs! To me it's shocking... And then I think that it can't be me, because I'm not that good (No I'm NOT fishing for compliments so don't say a word). It's just weird... And yes, you can "keep" Kinji, to an extent. And VANILLA! ~grins~   
Damnit Kris, stop that! Stop it! I'll let you know what the "it" is later. And your musings will be answered in time. And don't worry, as soon as online payment goes up, I'm there!   
Lib-Chan, I am GOING to e-mail you. As soon as I finish these notes, I am GOING to do it. ~is determined~ I hope this is a decent amount of time. I'm not so cruel as to leave you all hanging for months ~coughcoughRyuenMousecough~ And thanks for pointing out the typo, I'm always happy when people do that! I manage to miss so many and it's annoying. Thanks! Point out any others you find, too!   
Elwing, you wanna know what's up with Amefuri? Well, so do I ~grins~ He's very hard to get inside. If you want you can try and psychoanalyze him, might help us all... And actually, I'm not sure why the maids hate Inoue so much, though I think it has something to do with the attention the male servants give her, you know, jealousy. Care to help me out on that one? And Anime Central, actually, I wanna go to that one so bad.   
Flying heart, you didn't have to worry ~grins~ And my birthday was last Saturday - the 23rd.   
Well Sano, that wasn't MY fault ~looks Incredibly Innocent~ And if Tokaki was ogling her, I dun wanna know. And come on, you know me - I've gotta stick angst in here SOMEWHERE. And you make a bad announcer ^_~ And I ENVY YOU! You know why...   
Espeon, you're starting to worry me. Death threats _twice in a row?_ Maybe I should start taking them seriously! ^_~   
Juuf, I have the feeling that if I'd been in the room with you I would be deaf ^_~ And you're welcome! I'm happy to offer comments. And you're starting to scare me too ^^;;   
Sanomi, thank you! ~huggles~ Well, this chapter probably won't make you less anxious. Sorry, that's just the way it goes this time...   
J. Liha, calm down! You'll get your clone! ^_~ Yes you do have a fetish. And I hate to think about it too, but we have to - otherwise it wouldn't be the story of the Byakko.   
Chibiusaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ~grins~ You're not getting away from that, you know... And I'm STILL WAITING for that reply! ^_~   
Wow... Those were INCREDIBLY long... I really love doing them, but if they're that long, I'm worried that people'll get ticked off!   
I'm incredibly amazed that reviews are still coming for the last chapter, even though it's been nearly a month since an update! I love you all, you know that? I want to do my best for you all, that's why it takes so long!   
I have figured out something weird. My chapters are roughly the same lengths as J. K. Rowling's - Harry Potter. And this story is almost a match for Goblet of Fire in terms of length once it's done. How weird is that?   
And I've passed 300 reviews! You all are AMAZING! Thank you Espeon for being number 300! ~super GLOMP!~   
  


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When she fell, the rest of us were released from our captivity. We raced forward, scrambling up the steps or climbing the straight sides themselves in our hurry to get to our miko, shouting her name all the way, the sounds echoing smoothly through the strangely acoustic room.   
Tatara was, of course, the first to reach her, the rest of us not far behind and Karasuki dragging Toroki up. He lifted her off the ground, supporting her with an arm behind her shoulders, running his free hand over her face in an attempt to wake her or find what was wrong with her. She didn't respond, her head lolling around with his movements, but her skin was her normal color and she didn't appear to be sick - just sleeping. She was breathing regularly, even deeply, as if she was in a dream that was just too deep to come out of easily. My racing heart began to slow as I realized all this, and I breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that she would probably be all right, once she awoke.   
But how long would it be until then…?   
And were we…?   
I mentally tested myself, focusing my will on my symbol, trying to make it light - and nothing happened.   
We were defenseless for now.   
I let off an incredibly long string of curses in my head that would probably make even Tokaki not want to kiss me if I said them out loud, then shot Tatara a deliberate look over Amefuri's head, trying to confirm his theory without saying anything and having anyone else worry. We were all clustered too close together for no one to _not_ hear even if I whispered, even with all the noise they were making while exclaiming over Suzuno. He nodded back, almost imperceptibly, and I knew that he'd tried it, too.   
"Everyone, quiet!" a voice suddenly broke through my fatalistic thinking. I looked up, and wasn't entirely surprised to see Karasuki there. She'd stood and was looking down on all of us as if we were a bunch of ninnies. "This crowding is not helping her to get to feeling better. She is not being allowed to receive the air she has need of to breathe to help her regain herself. We should put her to bed in her own room and stop crowding her as a pack of wild dogs around a kill."   
Kokie - probably the worst - hung his head slightly in shame.   
Tatara nodded, his normal one this time, and swiftly stood, holding Suzuno in his arms, her head leaning on his shoulder. "Karasuki's right," he said, "she'll probably wake up much faster if we let her alone. I'm going to take her to her room."   
"What should we do, then?" Amefuri asked, completely serious for once.   
The plant seishi shrugged as well as he could with an armful of girl. "I'm not sure. Someone should probably go tell the emperor, though, so he can stop worrying as I _know_ he's doing."   
"That's a job for me," Tokaki said, and vanished - or tried to.   
I saw the look of astonished surprise cross his face, then his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to put all his power into using the normally easy teleportation spell - but it didn't work. He didn't go anywhere. The only thing that happened was his face got somewhat red. Tatara looked decidedly nervous, but there was no way for him to cover this up any longer.   
At long last, in dead silence that came from the astonishment of a seishi's powers not working, Tokaki opened his eyes - but they were eviler than I had ever seen, burning with righteous anger. And focused directly on Tatara. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded, far too calmly for my tastes.   
Tatara swallowed, but held his ground. "We're powerless."   
"_FUCKING RIGHT WE'RE POWERLESS, HOW THE FUCKING HELL DID THIS HAPPEN AND WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL US ABOUT IT?!_"   
"All our power went to Suzuno to call Byakko… if the summoning hadn't been accomplished, we would still have our powers. Their being gone is a sign that Byakko did indeed come down. And I didn't tell you because everyone was worried enough as it was." He said all this quietly but clearly, not stumbling or searching for words, just laying out the circumstances for the others, who stared at him with gaping mouths, or, in Amefuri's and Tokaki's case, what could be pure hate blazing in their eyes. Tatara didn't bother continuing his explanation, just turned and silently walked out of the shrine, and a second later the other seishi found their legs and followed him, although they still didn't say anything.   
As Tatara exited, I saw something shiny fall to the floor and lie forgotten in his wake, and unnoticed by anyone else even though they avoided stepping on it. I gave him a few second's head start, then also began to follow, but stopped to bend over and retrieve the object. It turned out to be a silver-backed circular mirror, with a diameter of about the length of my hand and intricate patterns either engraved or pressed into the metal on the back and around the sides. I had the distinct feeling that I'd seen it before, but couldn't quite place it. It also looked different from a normal mirror in a way I couldn't quite distinguish; it was like the mirror reflected light without any shining on it, and the metal as well. I grasped it firmly in my hand and followed the others.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Tokaki had pounded Tatara verbally for ten minutes, Amefuri helping him (the two of them made a good partnership when they'd _stop fighting_), then grumblingly trudged off to notify Heika-sama of the recent developments. The others were still shocked and had shut Amefuri up after Tokaki was gone, then turned to asking Tatara all manner of questions, some of them two or three times.   
He was getting tired of answering them. _No_, he didn't know how long the effects would last, though he suspected no more than a day at the most, half a day being more likely. _No_, he didn't know how long Suzuno would stay out of it. _Yes_, he was sure where our powers went. _Yes_, he was sure we'd get them back.   
I stopped them after the fourth go-round of the same questions. "Please, guys, don't make this harder than it already is," I spoke wearily as I stood from my chair next to Suzuno's bed and started pacing.   
"Don't tell me you're not feeling screwed over by this, Subaru," Amefuri shot back. Karasuki and I had kicked the others out of the room while we changed Suzuno into her normal sleepwear and put her in bed, and so had claimed the "good spots" next to her. However, it was turning out to be a distinct disadvantage - everyone's eyes were invariably focused in one direction, and having that many piercing stares directed at you at once made you start to feel like wood with a few too many holes in it. Amefuri's glare never left me as I walked back and forth. "Don't say you don't feel just a _little_ bit scared at not having your power. Don't say that; we all know it's just the opposite. You're shaking inside that sexy body of yours, shaking like a rabbit in its rabbit hole with the hawk after it and about to swoop-"   
SMACK. I must say hitting him was one of the most satisfying things I'd done.   
Amefuri did not quite shut up as I returned his glare tenfold, but he at least got quieter. "You're scared. I know you are, and you can't hide it," he said quite calmly. "Karasuki's scared too, and so is Kokie. And Toroki…" He just nodded at the boy, shaking his head slightly.   
I turned to look, _really_ look at Toroki for the first time since the summoning. He was sitting in a chair at Suzuno's round table, hunched up within himself, shaking, his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them and his nose poking out just a bit like the turtle snout symbol he bore on his ribcage. What I could see of his skin was also pale, and seemed to stretch more tightly over his bones and sinews than normal as his muscles flexed on their own, defensively.   
Instantly I forgot Amefuri and walked to his chair, dropped to my knees, and put my arms around him, just holding him and trying to comfort him as best I could. It was obvious that he was taking the loss of power worse than any of us, and if it was for the reasons I suspected he had every right to feel that way.   
"I can't… I can't…" he whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear. I tuned out the gradual restarting of conversation around us as the other three got back to questioning Tatara. I recalled at last that Toroki hadn't actually participated in the conversations in the room; he'd just been sitting in the chair the entire time, not making a clear noise. "I can't… I can't _see_…"   
"Shhhhhhh," I whispered gently, putting a hand on his right cheek and pressing his head down to rest on my shoulder, wanting to gently rock him back and forth as my mother had when I was little and woke screaming from nightmares. "Shhhhh… I'm here… It's okay, we're all here."   
"But you're _not_," he said, in such a pitiful moan that I nearly gathered him into my lap like a five-year-old. As it was I hugged him tighter, resting my chin on the top of his head as he curled even more into himself, clutching my sleeves in his hands, giving a pathetic little whimpering sob that didn't reach anyone else's ears. I saw Amefuri turn and glance at us, once, just out of the corner of his eye and only for the briefest second, and that was all.   
He was taller than me, weighed more, and plenty of times acted older also, but at that moment he was just my younger brother who needed comfort, and there was nothing unnatural about it. So when I felt a pair of eyes on me and turned slightly to meet them, careful not to disturb him, I was somewhat confused to see Tokaki glowering at us from the open doorway.   
I shot him a questioning look, wondering what was going on, but he didn't respond, didn't even see me. Then I realized that he probably didn't see my face because he _wasn't_ focused on me as I'd thought - all the glare was reserved specifically for the seishi I was comforting. I glanced down, trying to figure out what was going on. And realized just exactly where Toroki's head was.   
I rolled my eyes. _Oh Byakko, why does this always happen to me?!_   
Tokaki glared at me, and I shook my head, indicating my sheer refusal to let him go. His eyes got narrower… then he took a deep breath, held it for ten seconds, and slowly let it out, letting go of his temper (which probably cost him more than he'd care to admit), and walked over to the others, shoving his hands in his pockets. I hugged Toroki one more time, then slowly pried his fingers off my clothing and made him sit up so I, at least, could look in his face.   
I almost regretted that. His eyes were void, flat: where they'd at least shown sparks of life before, nothing remained now but strange cloudy pools of diluted blue. It disturbed me, made me shudder even as I held his shoulders. If that was what losing his seishi powers did to him… No, I couldn't blame him for feeling that way at all.   
"Subaru?" he asked hesitantly. "What… What is it?"   
"Tokaki's back… He probably has a message from Heika-sama."   
"Will I see again?" he almost begged in a frightened whisper.   
I winced, squeezing my eyes shut, and leaned forward to rest my forehead on his. "Undoubtedly."   
"Are you two just gonna sit there or do you wanna hear this?" Tokaki demanded, more than a little out of sorts. I ignored his gruff tone and carefully stood, making sure I didn't drag Toroki off his chair. He didn't relinquish his grip on me, but did adjust it so I could move without much hindrance. I reached over with my foot and hooked another chair, drawing it up next to his and sitting next to him, then clasped his hands in mine and nodded at my future husband (even if he wasn't acting too husband-ly at the moment…).   
Tokaki ripped his slightly narrowed eyes away from us by pure willpower, glancing at everyone else in turn: Tatara, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking Suzuno's forehead; Karasuki, smoothing her blankets down with a slight frown; Kokie, looking much too old and grave for all his youth; and Amefuri, surprisingly cool and calculating as a snake. "Well… It's not good." He shook his head and let out his air in a rush, letting his shoulders sag. "Definitely not good. The emperor thanks us for summoning Byakko and doing our jobs, of course, and he's ecstatic that it finally happened, of course, but… Apparently the situation's deteriorated over the past couple days."   
I glanced uneasily at the others. We hadn't fought since before we went to look for Amefuri, meaning there was probably a good ten-day period, if not longer, where the soldiers had not had us to back them up. And while they _were_ soldiers, and well trained at that, the Kutou were still vastly in the majority and much more experienced. It just came down to simple facts: wall or no wall, home or not home, sooner or later our men would lose if they didn't have us. Especially if they didn't have us…   
"While we've been all over the country, the last villages outside the city went down." He ignored our surprised shouts of denial and continued with a grim look on his face. "We knew it was coming, and even though we all hate to think of it this way, it was them or the city. Fortunately they managed to save the stored food - or what was left of it - and get the last of the civilians away from there before they had to let them go. And once all this is over, Heika-sama will send men to help with the rebuilding. But that means that many less obstacles in Kutou's way… and damnit if they don't know that and are using it to their advantage."   
"Why didn't he tell us this when we got back?" Tatara asked quietly, as if he hadn't meant to say it out loud.   
Tokaki just gave him an incredibly sarcastic look. "Same reason you didn't."   
"So what exactly does this mean?" Kokie broke in, hoping to reduce the tension level in the room.   
Another great sigh. "It means that Suzuno damn well better wake up soon and use a wish to wish all of them out of here, because we're sure as hell not gonna be able to hold out much longer."   
"As a small matter of fact," Karasuki inserted, giving our miko a significant look, "I do not think you will have to wait for long, Mister Patience-is-Not-a-Virtue-I-Possess."   
  
"What the _fucking_ hell do you think-"   
"Oh, _shut UP!_" Kokie, of all people, groaned. "We're _all_ upset. We're _all_ at the ends of our ropes. We're _all_ gonna try and _strangle_ someone if we all. don't. just. Calm. DOWN! NOW!"   
He was impressive, no doubt about that.   
"Look," the youngest of us said levelly. "It's been a long day. We're tired. We can take turns watching over Suzuno. Let's all go get some rest, let it go, and relax. We can't. Do. Anything. Now." He stressed each of the words, turning to face everyone, even Toroki and I who hadn't been causing problems (well, intentionally, at any rate). "Once we've gotten some sleep, we'll be better-"   
"_KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!_"   
_Everyone_ jumped. That shriek went higher than just about anything I'd ever heard, up to and including several types of cats. More than one of us also yelped in a combination of surprise and fear, Amefuri interestingly letting out a roar that sounded almost like a lion. Toroki whimpered in pain as the scream hit his more sensitive ears and grabbed me for protection. Karasuki was staring back at the bed from her sprawled position on the floor, eyes wide as saucers as she stared at Suzuno. Our miko had bolted upright in bed, sending Karasuki flying a few moments before to a relatively painful landing - one arm was twisted under her but she didn't seem to notice.   
Suzuno slumped forward, panting heavily, one half-clenched fist pressed to her heart and her shoulders heaving up and down. Tatara was by her side in an instant, whispering softly to her as he tried to get her to relax, which proved to be much harder than it looked. It took him a full three minutes while the rest of us just sat and stared to get even her shoulders to stop hunching up. Another ten minutes passed in the strange quiet before she would look at us and put down her hand.   
"I need to go to the city wall."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Carnage.   
Nothing but carnage and chaos as far as the eye could see. We hadn't been there to support our soldiers in almost two weeks, and it showed. Big time.   
If there was a time for godly intervention, it was now.   
Karasuki and I had helped the still-shaking Suzuno into some of the nondescript Sairounian clothes I'd bought for her months ago, trying to make her less of a target. Her own clothing would certainly draw someone's attention if she went out in it, and as we no longer had our powers, we were more determined than ever to keep her safe. Suzuno just stood there, leaning over the low wall, her face thin and pale beneath her messy braids. Wisps of her hair had escaped all over the place and were blowing about her in the stiff breeze that could always be felt on the wall. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Amefuri reach out a hand to the wind, try and grasp it, and drop the arm when he failed. It seemed even Mister Cold-As-Ice was suffering with the rest of us.   
My own hands were itching to help Karasuki. When she'd tumbled off the bed she had landed on her right arm strangely, and while it wasn't broken or severely twisted it was clear it was irritating her. She held it cradled in her left in a posture that looked almost natural; I wouldn't have been able to tell anything was wrong except for the occasional grimace or wince of pain that flitted across her face.   
At least Toroki was no longer clinging to me. He had begun to calm down on the long walk, as familiar smells and sounds finally reached him and he realized that his entire world _hadn't_ disappeared. He still stuck close to me, but he'd been able to let go.   
Tatara was next to Suzuno, staring down as well, one arm possessively and protectively around her waist, the other hand once again holding his sword. The weapon dangled from his hand though, the point scraping the stones as if the shocking sight below him was too much for his strength. Tokaki, similarly, had an arm around my shoulders, but he was actually looking away. I wrapped both arms around his waist and leaned my head against his chest for security; the scenes below were horrible.   
"Suzuno-san…" Kokie began tentatively, "are you all right?" I noticed the "san," which had dropped from his speech lately, had come back. Nothing wrong with it; she definitely looked like someone you'd have to respect.   
She nodded grimly and looked wordlessly at Tatara. He withdrew his arm and took a step back, but his face gave away his clear dislike of the idea. She paid no attention to him for the moment though, simply closed her eyes, drew a deep breath, and said one word: "Kai…jin."   
The white light came back, blazing from her forehead, and I could see a symbol resting there briefly before she threw her head back and whispered, " Byakko… Save Sairou now… Take the Kutou out of here and protect this country for all time!"   
From below, there was a sudden _BLINDING_ flash of white light that threw every one of us to our feet as we scrambled for cover from the flood behind the wall. Thousand of shouts, yells, screams could be heard from inside the light, then suddenly at least three-quarters of them fell silent.   
The rest quickly died to nothing, as soldiers staggered, overbalanced, and fell now that there was no one to fight, even if they couldn't believe it. The silence spoke of complete disbelief, the complete and utter denial of the truth. An entire army, especially one three times as large as _yours_, just doesn't up and vanish without warning. At least that's what all the soldiers' experiences were telling them, and the strange silence was broken again by shouts of _indignation_.   
"Damnit! I wanted to finish my fight!" I clearly heard one man exclaim below us. At that moment however, I didn't care what they wanted. If they wanted to be pissed, let them, we'd just saved half their butts and we knew it.   
"I want to go down there," Suzuno said, quietly but with an air of complete control. She definitely seemed capable of jumping over the wall - and landing uninjured - if anyone objected. Tatara glanced at Tokaki, who nodded, slightly grimly, and sighed heavily as he nodded agreement. Suzuno gave him a gentle, thankful smile before walking to the stairs. The spring was gone from her step, but it wasn't a bad thing; now she seemed to glide over the cold stones, like a goddess descended to us. The soldiers on the wall unconsciously drew back to let her through at just her smile alone.   
At the bottom it definitely wasn't a picnic. I took one look at the scene, gasped, and fled for one of the officer's tents pitched nearby. The poor men inside had no idea what I was doing as I started ripping through stuff like a demon, gathering any supplies that might be useful as bandages, compresses, or splints, and ran outside again without uttering one comprehensible word.   
Karasuki raised an eyebrow as I came running back to the group, my arms crammed full of… stuff. "I am not sure those men have liked their possessions taken," she remarked in her half-ironic way.   
"Well they had plenty of time to object," I countered as I ran past to the nearest wounded man and knelt quickly next to him. He had a bleeding, broken leg - and it had been broken by something very solid and very heavy. If he didn't see a very skilled healer, it would never repair straight. But I clenched my teeth and narrowed my lips, determined to do what I could to help, and that meant making sure he didn't bleed to death in the meantime. Not turning away from his pale, sweaty face, I gestured for one of the men still standing. "I need water. And boards. Quickly!" He yelped an affirmative and raced off while I gently put pressure on the gash in the soldier's leg with a clean strip of cloth and tried to wipe away what escaped.   
Ten minutes later I had done as much for him as I could, and I stood again, swiping at my hair to get it away from my face. A quick scan for the others provided me with quite a shock: they had all, Toroki included, copied my original panicked idea and were aiding the wounded. Other soldiers, tired but determined, were helping in the same way, while still others were clustered around each little scene awaiting orders. We had all picked up some basic first aid during the war, Suzuno and I more than the others, but we were all capable of helping to some extent. I think it did the unwounded good as well: they knew who we were, and seeing the famous seishi and miko "stoop" to helping them had to be a positive thing.   
I was definitely as jumpy as a cat, even with the Kutou gone. My nerves would _not calm down_, and even though I was living proof of a god's power there was still that nagging insistence in the back of my mind that Byakko had missed a soldier somewhere and he would come charging over the horizon any second. So when I felt something on my shoulder, I did the understandable thing: shrieked and whirled.   
Yujiro's startled green eyes met me when I finally landed, his hands held up in a 'stop' gesture. "Whoa, it's me!" He slowly lowered his hands as I dropped my fist. "I just wanted to make sure you all were all right, and the others are busy." He nodded at our friends. "Good busy, though."   
I took one look at him and hugged him hard, around the waist, startling him again. He jumped, but settled down and hugged me back platonically. "I'm glad you didn't vanish… But… why didn't you?" I asked, pulling back again now that I was sure he was in one piece.   
Yujiro gestured from head to toe, indicating his no-longer white uniform. "Guess Byakko-seikun knew I was on his side, even if I started over there. Come on, let's get the others, I can just bet why you're down here. And I have this insane urge…" and he deliberately (but not lecherously) lowered his eyes to the point where my symbol would normally shine and dropped his voice to almost nothing, "…to know why you're doing this manually, especially when you could take care of these things in an instant."   
I winced, flushed, and shook my head in frustration, and replied in a voice just as low as his. "It's a very long story. Ask Tatara." He nodded and we approached the groups clustered around our friends.   
For the next couple of hours it was more of an experiment in how not to lose one's control and be sick than anything else. Yujiro took us around, pointing out things like weak points in defense for future reference, or the commanding officers. I hadn't met most of them, but the rest of the seishi (except for Amefuri) knew more than a few after two months of fighting. Usually a short, quiet conversation would take place between one or two of my friends and the officer, after which we would move on to the next point. Yujiro took us south, where the fighting had been worse, and even I could tell that without him having to comment on it. The ground, once suitable for raising the few foodstuffs that could grow in our strange climate, was churned into cold mud so thick it grabbed your feet and wouldn't let you go. Everyone nearly fell over quite a few times. The most sickening part was that in many places, what had made the mud wasn't water: it was blood. I didn't want to think about it. I _forced_ myself not to.   
The day was significantly overcast, only letting through a weak gray light to illuminate the ghastly scene. Bodies, everywhere. All in mud-splattered white; it seemed Byakko had been respectful enough to let the Kutou dead lie in their own land. The mud and dust-covered soil still bore the imprints of tens of thousands of footsteps, and thousands of bodies. There was not a place we could go to escape the red stain the spilled blood left on the ground, as there was not a place we could escape from the calling of the injured and the dying. We paused frequently to offer what help we could, but more than once I ended up holding a trembling hand as it gave one last convulsion, clenching my fingers, before relaxing into eternity.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Baths were definitely in order when we got back, Yujiro included. He'd been dismissed for the day by his commanding officer (who seemed a little stunned at the company the "Kutou" was keeping) and was heading to the men's baths with the guys, while Karasuki, Suzuno, and I went the opposite direction. We were all covered in dirt, mud, and blood, sometimes all three mixed together. I was wondering if our clothes were salvageable - or even worth the effort. We spoke only lightly in the bath, deliberately avoiding the topics that had been weighing us down since sun up, discussing instead what we thought our families were probably doing at that moment. And as soon as we felt reasonably clean, we got out and went to our rooms to get dressed.   
Tokaki had beaten me back by a couple of seconds: he was only half-dressed when I walked in the door. I just stood there and looked at him, and he looked back at me, some insane tableau that no person should want to be in. Then he sighed, dropped his shirt, and held out his arms, and I walked into them without a word.   
He let out another long sigh and wrapped his arms around my neck and head, stroking my hair, looking almost as exhausted as in the days he and the others were defending the wall. "I'm sorry," he said, "I'm sorry for… earlier."   
"It's just you, I know you don't mean it all," I replied, a bit muffled by being literally wrapped in Tokaki. I worked one arm free and reached up to gently stroke his face. "It's been a long, tense day and we've had more than one scare."   
"I know, but I still feel like a complete idiot. Especially about you and Toroki…" he nearly groaned. "I was a stupid idiot to let it bother me like that."   
I nearly smiled as I looked up at him. Nearly. "You love me. It's understandable, as long as you can control it like you did. You don't want to lose me."   
He actually did give a small smile, though. "You can say that again," he murmured, before bending over to kiss me thoroughly.   
And of course something had to go and destroy our happy moment. That "something" was all of the cracks around the door and all the openings in the paper-covered window blazing suddenly bright, bright enough to blind if we weren't careful. We both yelped and Tokaki threw us back on the bed, protecting me from whatever-it-was by shielding me with his body. As fast as it had come, however, it faded just as rapidly. It was literally there one moment, gone the next.   
It took both of us a second to realize this as at least my retina seemed to be one sold after-image, but when we could see again it was obvious that nothing major had happened. In fact, nothing appeared different at all as we slowly sat up. Tokaki's shirt still lay on the floor, the top of my robe was still more open than it should be, the door was in one piece.   
But we both knew something major was different. "Suzuno," we said at the same time, standing and racing for the door (I pulling my robe shut).   
Nothing was different between our room and Suzuno's room, either - if you discounted the two or three people we could see on the ground, who had thrown themselves down for protection exactly as we had. The door to Suzuno's room was open, swinging a bit, gently, tapping the wall every time with a noise that was almost melodic. And easily seen from the doorway was the most heartbreaking thing I'd ever discovered: Tatara sitting on the bed, his arms tightly around Suzuno, who was buried into him much worse than Toroki had been with me earlier, both of them crying silently but intensely.   
Tokaki and I stopped our mad dash abruptly at the door, floored by the sheer sadness we could feel radiating from the room. Suzuno had used a wish. She had used a wish and something awful had come of it, something we wouldn't be able to control… And then I noticed she was shaking. Tatara was holding her so tight it was hard to see it, but she was - I doubt she could have stood on her own. Her arms were wrapped around herself and her normally strangely pretty face was scrunched tight in pain both physical and emotional. I glanced at Tokaki, plainly panicked; he clearly wasn't any better, and he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down the veranda to our room.   
"What was _that_ about?" he questioned in a ragged whisper when we were far enough away for them not to hear us.   
I shook my head, grabbing the first set of clean clothes I could find and hurriedly starting to change, too worried to notice that Tokaki didn't seem to be taking the pleasure in my actions he usually did. He was too busy getting himself pulled together as well, and I still had one of my slippers in my hand as we raced back to Suzuno's room.   
We weren't the only ones. Yujiro, Karasuki, and Amefuri were grouped around the door this time, in various stages of dress (Amefuri only had one sleeve on, which was a rather odd picture), staring in without any apparent notice by the occupants. Kokie and Toroki came running up as Tokaki and I pulled to a halt behind the others, the former leading the latter - but not quietly. "What happened?!" Kokie asked wildly.   
Karasuki gasped and jumped back, trying to hide behind Amefuri as something flew out of the room: one of Suzuno's shoes, which would have hit her right in the forehead if she hadn't moved. My jaw dropped; one of the lovebirds had tried to hurt one of us. Even with it being a stressful day that was inexcusable, especially when we needed each other the most. Completely blown away, I stormed into the room, ignoring Toroki's hand that tried to pull me back. "That was inexcusable!"   
"What would you do?!" Tatara shot back, and again I was struck by emotion. His eyes, his voice… I never thought it was possible for eyes to be ragged, but his were. His voice was in shreds, his melodic tones gone… He was fragmenting before my eyes. "What would you do?! What would you do if you knew you were going to-"   
"Don't," a new voice said. Suzuno slowly sat up from where she had been for all practical purposes lying across Tatara's lap, bringing a slightly shaking hand to her eyes and moving it back and forth as if trying to wipe away the tears. "Ta… Don't…" The new voice was hers - she was even worse than Tatara. "We… we need…"   
I cautiously took a step towards them, then another, then paused a little distance from the bed. Suzuno had on her "skool yu-ni-form" again, and at that moment my brain was interpreting that as something to be incredibly wary of. Since we'd come back with Karasuki, she'd mostly been wearing the clothes I'd bought her, so she'd fit in better and not receive so many curious stares, and Tomomi the palace seamstress had added to her collection of "native" clothing. She'd worn her own things occasionally since then, but always with shoes - and now she was barefoot, her own shoes having been left in a fort that none of us ever wanted to return to. Yes, something was wrong. Incredibly.   
Tatara smoothed her hair, kissing her gently on the crown of her head, then looked up at me - at all of us, as the others were cautiously making their own way into the room. He also ignored the tears still running freely down his face as he spoke with a tone that no one wanted to argue with.   
"We need to go to the shrine."   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
No one spoke. Suzuno now stood on the edge of the altar, her heels literally touching the edge with the steps right behind her and the burner, with the ashes of the Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho still in it, before her. She was still shaking, but almost imperceptibly; I doubted the others could notice except for Tatara. She'd yanked her still-wet hair into their usual braids, and her hands kept clenching and unclenching as she stared at the burner for what seemed forever. Yujiro was standing in the doorway, his mouth hanging open a little. We seven seishi were again spaced around the room, though not on our own constellations. I'd made dead sure I was between Tokaki and Tatara, and occasionally I would shoot the latter a significant look. I hated not knowing what was coming.   
"Kaijin." A bearable flash of white light, the symbol lighting on her forehead, and the trembling stopped. We all watched, barely able to keep from running to her, as she said what might have been the stupidest thing I'd ever heard from her.   
"Bring Taheiji here… Unarmed… and alone."   
And with a flash and a crash, he was.   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES: I just know someone's gonna be after my head - or a certain person's head, more likely. I'll tell you right now, the next chapter's gonna be strange. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand... YOU have the opportunity to help me out here! Believe it or not, even though I've been planning this for MONTHS, I don't have much of a clue as to what to ask him! ^^;;; I need questions! Or you can rant and yell and rave, heck, maybe your rant'll fit one of them and I'll use it! So give me suggestions or vent your fury! I'll give you a credit if I use it!   
And yes, sad as it is to think about it, this fic is winding down. It has at least three, probably more like four chapters to go, and I definitely won't finish it before the end of the year, and I'm planning on tacking on side stories like you wouldn't believe, but the main story is sadly coming to an end. But we can save the tears for when it actually happens - you think I'm gonna let 'em go out in depression?! HELL NO!   
Okay, so see ya'll next time - and give me question suggestions! 


	32. Market Bonus: Patterns

  
DISCLAIMER: Even after months and months, I _still_ don't own Fushigi Yuugi.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I am _soooooooo_ sorry about the lengthy non-posting time! I honestly didn't mean to let it get that far! But I was/am suffering from M-A-J-O-R writer's block that _still_ hasn't gone away, a school schedule that turned out a lot more strenuous than I anticipated, and general lack of time/inspiration. Chapter 30 for this story is _hard_; there's So Much Stuff that goes on that it's going to be much longer than normal. It's also hard for me to write because I have to be in that sort of "down mood," but not to the point of paralysis, and lately that just hasn't been happening. Life's been a roller coaster, and there's been more than one violent loop in the past few months (anorexia, cutting, physical abuse, dropping out - none of which is me, but my friends are like family) that my required "mood" just seemed to fizzle into thin air. I've also been suffering from exhaustion, the result of way too little sleep and way too much to do. So, sorry - the chapter isn't done.   
That's right, this isn't chapter 30 - I'm on page 5 of that now, and I estimate it'll be about 16 pages, maybe more. Probably more. I may have to break it into two sections to make it a "managable" size. What say you, if anyone's reading?   
This might not be a chapter, but it's something a couple people have been bugging me for for _months_ - that's right Okie-Dokie-chan, Bashou! I FINALLY finished it! It's the Karasuki side-story! Not entirely how I saw it originally, but it just seemed to wrap itself up. This is for you two ^_^ Because you're incessant and you know it.   
Check at the bottom - some REALLY COOL NEWS! And links! And now, onward!   
  


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A weak sun peered out from behind the listless clouds, feebly attempting to light the frozen land below with its pale rays, searching for any sign of life in that waste of rock and snow. A few sturdy pines and hardy scrub bushes poked through the late-fall dusting of white powder, breaking the endless horizon only to make the place seem that much more unwelcoming. A sheer wind passed over the plain, making the faded green needles of the pines dance with cold, sending the two people huddled on the front seat of a simple cart further into their shelters of patched and ragged blankets that were all they had to protect them from the cold. The horse in front of them flicked its ears impatiently as the sharp breeze pricked at them, snorting a cloud of steam into the air and continuing its slow, unbroken pace down the one trail that even resembled a road in the wasteland. The tribes rarely came down that far south, making passage almost unnecessary - except for those fleeing to new lives.   
The smaller figure on the front board shifted to look to the back of the cart which was really more like a wagon - the sides were high, the bottom low, made to hold light cargo, but large enough to hold a lot of it. At the moment it was carrying the most precious cargo it had ever held, or would ever see.   
A small nest had been made up in the bottom of the cart, in the corner closest to the driver's seat, in a pile of clothing bracketed by the last few blankets they possessed. The nest wasn't any larger than three feet by three feet square; it had nowhere else to go due to the press of _things_ surrounding it. Odd things at that, not the least among them being two staffs that looked suspiciously like and yet unlike a monk's shakujou, one of which was leaning over the nest almost protectively, within easy reach of either figure seated before it.   
A hand reached down to gently shake the lump of clothing that occupied the nest. "Eri… Eri… Wake up, child."   
Gradually, feeling returned to Eri's body as sleep crept slowly away from her mother's shaking. For the first time in a long time she was conscious of each minor jolt of the cart as it went over rocks and through holes; she could feel the exact way her head left its resting place, lifting into the air for a brief moment without any help from her; the itch of the blanket against her bare arm was bothering her again. She shoved it away and sat up, rubbing her neck and yawning, revealing a girl of about ten or eleven whom nevertheless looked much younger due to her lack of height and small frame. Silvery hair that was reduced to dull gray in the lack of light hung in rumpled patterns about her face from all her tossing, and her normally bright green, wide-open eyes were narrow with fatigue. She yawned again, stretching, and brought a hand to her mouth. "Kaa-sama, what is it?"   
"We need to stop soon, rest the horse. You should move around, get some exercise; it's not good to lie there for hours in a small space without moving."   
Eri looked away from her mother's eyes uncomfortably, her hand still on the back of her neck. There had been a reason she was sleeping so much over the past few days, as her parents well knew - but were choosing to ignore, unlike her. She _couldn't_ ignore it; after all, it - and she - was the reason they were out in the wastelands, cast off from the tribe like a piece of clothing with a curse on it, most of their possessions reclaimed by the tribe and replaced by the oldest things anyone had. Greed rarely escaped such things as better blankets, after all. Her mother faced forward and didn't make her continue the conversation.   
A minute later, her father guided the cart over to a small space on the side of the road, making room for anyone who wanted to pass (as if there would be any other travelers on this road) and bringing the horse closer to its desired, scarce green things. Eri pulled her allotment of blankets around her and clambered up to the driver's box, then from there down to the ground as her mother did. She separated herself from her parents a little and found a seat in front of a nice little cliff, dragging the blankets around her shoulders and leaning against the cold rock. Her startling green eyes stared out over the scrubland plain, focusing on nothing and everything at the same time, her river of silver hair pouring over her shoulder. She didn't say a word. Her parents glanced at her worriedly for a long moment before sharing a helpless glance, then returned to looking through their stores for the food they'd allocated for that day.   
Eri didn't notice their looks, any more than she noticed the temperature of the rock she was leaning on. Instead, her mind was occupied with a scene from three days before, a scene she knew she would remember in detail for the rest of her life, even if she lived to be one hundred. It was a hard scene to forget, after all - how many times do you save your best friend's life, after all? And get ostracized for it afterwards?   
"Eri!" her mother called. "Come over here, child, and eat. You have to keep your strength up even if you won't do anything."   
Her mother's slightly bitter tone made her wince, but she stood, feet getting only mildly tangled in the blankets, and stumbled over to the meager fire her parents had made and were heating the soup stock over. They hadn't been left with enough to have anything more substantial, even though her mother had pleaded for a long while about caring for her growing daughter. She'd been ignored and the last parcel of better-than-semi-decent food ripped from her hands by the very people who had been her friends.   
_Don't think about it, Eri,_ a voice seemed to whisper in her mind. _Just let it go. You did what you could and should be thankful for that.   
But it hurts,_ she whispered back. _Why did they have to be so mean to Kaa-sama and Tou-sama and me? Why did they have to reject us?   
They're afraid, little one. They're afraid of what they don't know._   
"Eri!"   
She blinked and glanced around for her mother's voice. Somehow she'd acquired her soup bowl in one hand, and her small cup in the other. She had no idea how she'd gained either, or even of how she'd sat down. Her parents were both staring at her in concern, worry, and perhaps even a touch of fear - an emotion that made her heart drop through her body as if it were made of lead.   
But she didn't show it, refused to show it, holding it behind the wall that had begun to grow within her, built brick by slow brick to conceal her real thoughts from all around her. "Do…" she began instead, nervously fiddling with the cup. "Do people fear the unknown, Kaa-sama?"   
Her mother blinked, caught in the act of pouring her own soup. "What did you say, dear?"   
"Are people afraid of what they don't know?"   
"Well…" Slowly, she set her bowl down, her eyebrows knitting together as she tried to find the best way to explain it to the girl who looked about seven but acted about twenty. "Yes, dear, they are. Many times, they are. Mostly it's because they don't understand, and don't _want_ to understand. Oh, I'm not sure how to say this… Come here," she requested, opening her arms to her daughter. Eri stood up and made her way over to sit in her mother's lap, nestling into the warmth her body provided and tucking her head under her chin. This was one of her favorite things - being held as if she were still a very small child. Her mother had never been a beautiful woman, but she had a peculiar kind of handsomeness about her features that made people feel they could trust her. Eri's trust in her mother was something that could only be shaken by a life-or-death situation - which had almost happened a few days before. "You see, dear, sometimes people are afraid of change. Change comes whether they want it or not, of course, but some people would prefer to look the other way as it happens." Eri closed her eyes, letting herself sink into the warmth of her mother's voice. "They don't want to know the cause, or see the effects, because it is usually something they're not in control of. I think that's why people are afraid of new things, different things, things changing - they don't have control."   
"But I didn't have control, a couple days ago. It just happened," Eri murmured.   
"Shhh," her mother whispered. "Of course it 'just happened' - we rarely ask for something as big as that to deliberately come to us. But you still have it, and eventually you'll have control over it. And it seems big and scary and it is, and you feel frightened and alone and it's all right to feel that way, because it is big and scary and something you can't stop and you don't know any others now - but someday you will, and it will all be an adventure, something to tell my grandchildren about. Or even your grandchildren. But never, for one second, ever wish that it wasn't happening to you - because you're blessed, my girl, blessed in a way that hasn't been seen in a hundred years, and you'll do great things some day."   
Eri didn't answer. She was already asleep.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
It had been such a nice day. The snow was freezing but the sun was out, and the tribe had picked a spot to camp at for the winter a few days before and so there was no unpacking or setting up of anything to do besides the cookfires outside the yurt's doorways. Eri had awaken that morning with more than a tiny feeling of joy - it was her birthday after all, her eleventh birthday, and not only did that mean a day off of chores as a reward, but her father had promised her a surprise later in the day. She had a feeling it was a pony; she'd seen her father head over to the temporary corral the day before, and hadn't let her tag along as he usually did. She hoped it was, she hoped it was the pony of her dreams, with an almost yellow-ish coat and a white mane and tail and white socks and she would name it Sugar and take it for rides and brush and braid its mane and tail and love it with all the heart in her tiny body. But that was for later, and at the moment she had nothing to keep her in the yurt after breakfast, for once - which, in the winter, always meant one thing.   
"ERI-CHAAAAAAAAAAAN!" The happy screeching giggle broke her concentration, making half the tribe yell out about kids not being so noisy in the early morning, and Eri barely bothered to take the time to pull on her winter jacket as her mother threw it to her before running out to tackle her best friend into the snow.   
Rika was two inches taller, twenty pounds heavier, and completely used to the flying body that knocked her over with a wide grin. All she did was grin back. "Come on, Eri-chan!" she exclaimed through a mouthful of snow. "Let me up already! Everyone's skipping chores and going up to the lake!"   
"Everyone?" Eri asked, slightly doubtfully, but scrambled off her friend so Rika could sit up and more or less dust herself off.   
"Everyone," Rika confirmed, pulling snow out of her hair. "More or less. Or they'll be there soon. Come on, we've gotta get there early so we don't end up with a bad spot!" Rika got swiftly to her feet and tugged Eri up next to her, and both of them broke into a giggling, stumbling run through the loose snow, which lasted the quarter-mile to the lake.   
The Kage tribe knew how to pick campsites. They always, without fail, managed to find somewhere with a body of water and enough space to pitch their yurts and erect the corral for their horses, which was often little more than ropes tied high enough between trees that the horses couldn't jump over without effort. This time they'd found an especially good spot: a mountain lake, frozen over but not impossible to break through, with a stream emitting from its southern bank and gradually widening as it wound its way downhill. They'd chosen to settle next to the small river rather than the lake, to make it easier on the horses and so they could have level ground for all the yurts, but the lake was still well within reach and perfect for one of the children's favorite activities: snowball fights. Lots of snow, rocks to hide behind, trees to dodge around; you could wage a virtual war along the eastern bank, without anyone getting hurt. Well, one boy had, but it had been his fault, because he'd been trying to climb a snowy tree and ignoring everyone else who was telling him to get down and he'd fallen. But he hadn't been seriously hurt and the next time he was back again, just as enthusiastic as ever - although he stayed away from trees after that.   
Rika and Eri got there that morning before any of the other children of the tribe, and proceeded to stake claim to their preferred "area" - behind a rough outcropping of stones that stuck up in various directions from the ground, giving them space to aim and space to hide without having to move too much. There would be grumblings when the others arrived and saw that what was arguably the best site in the area had already been claimed, but the right to pick went in order of appearance - the earlier you arrived, the better place you secured, and the better your natural defenses.   
The girls used the time before anyone else appeared to begin stockpiling snowballs, stacking them in little mounds and giggling along the way. Then a male voice about their age called out from next to the lake, followed not to long after that by a girl and a boy, the a group of four, then more, as gradually the twenty or so children of the Kage tribe of the right age to enjoy the activity appeared, claiming their own forts and making weapons, laughing and chatting. A sharp whistle tore across the air, causing everyone to cock an ear; Hakuseki, the eldest and therefore the one with the right to begin "the procedures," was calling their attention.   
"Everybody ready?" he yelled.   
"_Ready!_" they all responded as one.   
"Everybody armed?"   
"_Yes!_"   
A pause… two… three… "NOW!"   
Chaos exploded as friends pelted friends hard enough to hurt but without malice, caught up in the thrill and exhilaration of the fight and laughing uncontrollably with sheer happy energy. It wasn't often they could do this - even when camped, chores were tough - but it helped a _lot_ of their stress and tension drain when they did. The length always varied, but the fights lasted as long as there were two kids more or less standing to throw snowballs at each other. There was no score; everyone just had fun.   
It had been about twenty minutes when Rika caught Eri's wrist as she was about to throw a snowball right at Hakuseki's head. "I'm going to get Taro!" she said, grinning widely. She had a score to settle with the smirking boy from the last one. "I'll be back!" Eri nodded her agreement, pitching her ball and letting out a satisfied whoop as it clobbered her intended target in the back of the head.   
Their encampment had its backside facing the lake - to get behind the stones, you had to scale the front - not a very difficult task, as they had a rather tame slope, but not something you wanted to do in a snowball fight. To "get Taro," Rika had to literally walk on the ice, which she immediately began doing, sticking close to the shore. Some of the adults had tested the thickness and pronounced the outer rim safe to walk on, but not to proceed in more than a few feet - there was a very sudden drop off of the lake bottom about five feet in, where the ice had thinned. Rika wasn't that far out, so Eri didn't give her comment a second thought.   
Until the cracking. And the snapping. And the shriek, quickly cut off by a splash.   
"_RIKA!_" Eri shrieked in response, whirling in less than a moment to face the lake, all fighting beyond the rocks abruptly halting at the sounds. "_RIKAAAAAAAA!_" She scrambled down from the slight height their spot was on, running. The sole of her shoe, smooth and slick, flew out from under her and sent her sprawling while still on the thick ice, but she hardly paid any attention, pushing herself urgently to the four-foot wide hole that had suddenly appeared a few feet out - just over the deep part. Sounds from behind her told her ears that the other children were scrambling around and over the rocks as fast as they could, but she didn't hear - all her energies were focused on that hole. "_RIKA! RIKA COME UP!_"   
"ERI!" Hands grabbed her ankles and hauled her back away from the hole, away from the ice that was starting to crack even under her small weight. She screamed and kicked, but could do nothing against them, and Hakuseki pulled her onshore when she was close enough. "Oki, get the adults! And blankets! HURRY!" He had a quick mind that didn't lose all grasp on reality in an emergency - but now it sure felt as if his mind was attempting to do so. He couldn't let himself, though. As the girl, one of the best runners, pelted away, he crept out on the ice himself, leaving Eri to be held back from following or running in front of him by Taro, trying to see if he could spot the girl. "We need to get her out…" But the hole only revealed water. The shadows of the ice and the murk of winter served to obliterate any sign he could have found of the girl's dark hair, any glimpse of her clothing or pale skin. The water plants seemed to be waving at him, as if they were Rika's fingers waving good-bye… "NO!" he yelled at himself out loud, plunging an arm in and feeling around for her, wincing as he could feel his nerves going numb.   
"She… She can't swim…" A small voice - Eri's - whispered. Too many attempts in the summer to persuade Rika to swim with her in the southern rivers had failed for her not to remember that. "And she was wearing all that clothing…"   
"DON'T DO THAT! DON'T THINK THAT!" Hakuseki yelled, still fumbling around. It had only been seconds, but Rika couldn't survive down there… Lack of air would set in any time now, and there was hypothermia to worry about if they got her out… He had to do something, _something!_   
Eri had been fiddling with a leather tie on the cuff of her jacket, unknowingly pulling apart the knot and pulling it out of its eyelets. The tie could be loosened or tightened to keep in warmth or let it out as needed, but Eri hardly ever used them. She was more than surprised to find the thong lying across her palm, although the surprise registered as nothing more than the slight widening of her already-wide eyes. She had no idea how it had come out of her jacket. And, even as she watched, she felt a part of her mind detach from her shock and move into her hands, taking over their control and beginning to move them, slowly. Slowly. Slowly her mind became completely focused on the leather, her fingers beginning to loop the ends around the main section of string, tying a knot here, a pattern there, gaining a little speed as they moved with more confidence. Eri couldn't explain it. Nor could she explain the sudden warmth she felt, a warmth that seemed to emanate from her center and spread outwards, focusing in her head, hands, and middle back, or the way her vision suddenly went white around the edges, all peripheral sight gone. She didn't hear the yells of fear of her once-companions, nor their feet as they ran as fast as they could carry them, only one - Hakuseki - staying, even though he was plainly frightened as well. Not did she hear her own voice as it asked, nearly pleaded, "Please Rika, come on out?" Her hands yanked themselves apart, holding on to one end each of the thong now tied into an intricate pattern, tightening it securely and setting the power to work.   
A blazing flash of white light set her vision on fire, but a bearable fire, one she could face in the eye and not back away from. A splash as a large portion of water was displaced, falling back to the lake, finally echoed in her ears, and she blinked her eyes clear to see the cause. Rika floated in midair, five feet above the ice, dripping wet and turning blue but _out of the water_. Eri sighed in relief, letting out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding, and turned to her left, holding out her arms, hands, and the pattern-thong out straight and steady. And Rika turned with her, floating still, until she was over dry land. Eri stooped slowly, lowering the thong with her body, until it was touching the ground, and Rika settled to the rock at the same rate, coming to rest gently, her hair and clothes streaming water. Eri stood slowly, watching Rika, trembling slightly.   
A gasp made her turn back to the lake, where Hakuseki was still sprawled across the ice, dripping, numb arm forgotten as he stared in utter shock at Eri, eyes wider than hers had ever been.   
She gave him a weak smile that he couldn't return. "Where did everyone go?"   
And then she fainted.   
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Waking the next day, Eri shook her head in befuddlement as well as to clear the traces of a headache from her skull. _What's been going on?_ she wondered. _I had this weird dream where Rika nearly died and I played with a cord and saw white… Odd._ She shook her head again, as much as to try and rattle the weird things she'd dreamt into place. There were also a couple of words she thought she remembered hearing, and considering them important, but couldn't for the life of her remember now. With a mighty mental shove, she pushed them out of her mind. _I wonder what time it is - aaaaaah, why didn't Kaa-sama wake me?!_ she mentally yelped, noticing the amount of light in the yurt and knowing it must be much later than she _should_ be sleeping. _I'm gonna get killed! They hate it when I sleep- Whoa boy!_ When Eri tried to stand, she found it impossible - her legs felt like weak fabric and wouldn't lift her more than a few inches off the ground before she fell back. "Aaaaah! What's wrong with me?!"   
The entrance flap was pushed inward by a brown-encased arm, as if her panicked shriek had been a cue. "Eri-chan, shhhh," her mother whispered, entering and kneeling next to her daughter's futon, gently yet insistently pushing her to lay back again, pulling the blankets over her body. "Shhhh, you need your rest." Masuzoe-san stroked her daughter's forehead, pushing the bangs out of eyes that were desperately looking for answers. And she could give them, all right - she just wasn't sure she _should_. But Eri deserved to know, there wasn't anything they could do to stop it… And it would all be all right in the end. Somehow she just knew. Or… hoped she knew, anyway. "Eri-chan…" She steeled herself. This wasn't going to get any easier. "Eri-chan, while you all were playing yesterday, Rika fell through a patch of thin ice. She is fine now-" she spoke hurriedly to counter her daughter's wide-eyed, horrified look. "-and hasn't suffered the cold shock everyone feared. She is tough. But you… When we arrived, you were laying facedown in the snow, out cold, even though there was not a mark on you. And then Hakuseki told us…" She leveled her gaze at her daughter. "He told us you glowed white. 'As white as fire' are his exact words. And that you saved her - by making this." One hand moved to her sleeve, and from the natural pocket she pulled the tie from Eri's jacket, still holding its intricate pattern tight. Some people were wondering if it would ever come loose. "That this controlled her body, and allowed you to lift her from the water. If it's true… you saved her life."   
Strong arms lifted Eri from her futon and held her against her mother's body as the girl began shaking, the realization of what had happened finally hitting her. "But… But how could I do that? How could I even know how to make that thing, let alone use it to save Rika?"   
Masuzoe-san's hand dropped to press against the small of her daughter's back. "Here. Right here, Eri-chan - this is how. You glowed from here. Poor Hakuseki was nearly blinded - but he saw something important. Right here, you have a symbol that distinguishes you, marks you as special and blessed and wonderful. It was still shining when I changed your clothing." Eri glanced down quickly, and sure enough, she was in her warm sleeping outfit and not her play clothes. "But… Eri-chan, listen to me. Not everyone sees it the same way." She spoke softly but insistently, trying to spare her daughter's feelings yet impart on her the seriousness of the situation, pulling back so they could be face-to-face. Intent dark green met worried bright green, speaking almost as much as her voice. "I won't hide it from you - there are many people who want you gone. They claim you're a witch, someone to harm them and their horses. Never mind they've known you from the day you were born!" Masuzoe-san was serious, but inside she was fuming. How dare they! Their friends, their _family_! Everyone in the tribe was part of the family, and they wanted her little girl _out_! But she kept her calm; she had to, to avoid panicking Eri. "They will hurt you if you don't leave. So we're all going. Tou-sama and I are packing our things, and we're all going to Sairou."   
Eri's throat had frozen when she met her mother's gaze, unable to respond to even one of her mother's words, only able to stare, until the last. "S… Sairou? Why… Why Sairou?"   
"Because, Eri-chan." Masuzoe-san finally pulled back to lay her daughter on the futon again, noticing her eyes starting to look heavy again. She used so much power then; she would have to rest for a long time to recuperate it. "White. Byakko white. Your father and I haven't forgotten the old legends, even though the others around us seem to have. We go to Sairou because you're needed there, as a Byakko no shichiseishi."   
  


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Saving Rika was three days past, and learning the news was two. Eri knew she'd never forget either, or the day after that, when the tribe had packed their things _for_ them - with so many of the Masuzoes' quality possessions being taken and "replaced" by others in the tribe. Good blankets, good food, even the pony that Eri's father _had_ gotten for her - all gone. The pony wasn't even replaced, and their second horse was confiscated as well, one of the headmen claiming it to be the _tribe's_ horse and not theirs. Her father had yelled and raged, her mother had begged and pleaded along with yelling, but nothing had worked - all tales of seishi and salvation had been driven from the collective mind, or twisted into something completely different from the truth. And if anyone remembered, he or she said nothing - Eri was from Hokkan, right? Then she couldn't be a Byakko seishi. But her mother and father knew, and believed, and so when their cart was finally on its way, they set a course and didn't look back, trusting to their skill with their staves to guard the family against any unlikely surprises.   
Eri slowly swirled the broth of the soup around in her bowl, then drank it, picking out the pieces with her chopsticks and popping them in her mouth absently. _All right, so I'm going to be living someplace new. Some place hot. Some place… away from everyone._ Her mouth tightened as she remembered her last glimpse of Rika: standing half-hidden behind her father, just peeking around his side, scared to emerge. Her best friend, afraid of her. Eri felt like throwing her chopsticks to the ground, but instead calmly set her bowl down and laid the utensils on the rim. _I don't need them. I don't need anyone except for Kaa-sama and Tou-sama. I'll do this; I'll do it to spite them._ No, that was too harsh. _To show them they were wrong about me being a curse. To show them… To show them that I_ can _do good with this power.   
I'll show them!_   
  


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AUTHOR'S NOTES II: Poor Eri-chan. A lot of people have claimed she's a "mystery" to them, myself included, but writing this helped me understand her more. I'm quite proud of her, actually. ~huggles the chibi-Karasuki~   
Okay, here's news. A) I finally finished redoing my site, and there's something up there that might interest a few people: a round robin story. A round robin story is a story where one person starts, the next continues, etc etc. I debated about putting it up on ff.n, then decided no - it's easier for me to maintain on my own site. The first segment is up there now, written by me, and I'm looking for submissions of the next part! YES, there are _rules_. _Please_ read them and comply with them, they're not really too bad (things like hitting SpellCheck and the like). You get there by going to my site, entering the main section, and finding the "Round Robin" link in the mess of links on the left. That takes you right to the rule page. Have fun! ^_^   
Next news! One of the things I _have_ done in the past few months is more HTML code - I figured out how to make online quizzes! And me being me, you _know_ I did something involving my stories as my first experiment. So, the badges suck and you have to save them to your hard drive, but here's the quiz - Which Character from Market Are You? (Only includes the seishi and Suzuno.) It's on my old site, but not linked, so the address is www . geocities . com / lai_nyan / marketquiz . html - You'll have to take the spaces out of the address, ff.n's been doing something weird with straight-address-typing so that's the only way to make it show. Nenene, tell me what you got, I'm interested!   
Okay, and _here's_ the REALLY COOL NEWS: http :// 195.230.175.217 / ~japan / Genbu / Bilder_e . htm - again, you'll have to take the spaces out, but JUST LOOK! Yes, I _AM_ quite the happy fangirl! And I have no reservations in showing it! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! FINALLY!   
**Edit:** Apparently that link isn't working more, even when I put it in straight from my saved links, so until I find it again I'll just tell you what's going on: Watase-sensei is drawing/writing/publishing the Genbu story! YES! FINALLY! That site has pictures/characters/summary and other things, and it looks reaaaaaaaally cool. So yes, happy little fangirl here ^___^ And if you want to see a picture of Takiko, go here: http :// www.unet.univie.ac.at / ~a9602399 / fy / News01 . jpg (remember to take out the spaces!) I have no idea who the guy in back of her is, but don't it look cool?   
Now back to your regularly scheduled insanity ^__________^ _Go read Kryssa's stuff!_


	33. Chapter 30: Captive

  
DISCLAIMER: Two years - still no own.   
AUTHOR'S NOTES: *ducks MANY VERY SHARP THINGS POINTED AT HER BY ANGRY PEOPLE* All right all right I get the picture I get the picture! It's been too long! I know it has, trust me, no one's been more frustrated than me. It's not that I _haven't_ been writing, it's that I _couldn't_ write. I had writer's block of the most despicable kind, the kind that wouldn't go away. I tried to force myself to write, even to write something _bad_, but I couldn't. There was just no way the words would come. Some of you have probably had that happen to you, and you'll know what I mean - it's just much, much _more_ frustrating _to_ write than _not_ to write. For the rest of you, I hope it _never_ happens because it's one of the worst things a writer can feel.   
But anyway, I've had massive block, as you could... probably tell. (Yes, those of you after my head, you are not justified. You are justified to go after my _block_. That would do _everyone_ a _very great service._ Me because I could write more, you because you wouldn't have to wait so long! Although I think some of you positively _enjoy_ going after my head *looks at Sano*) But I've fought through it and here it is... the climactic chapter. Not that there's not going to be stuff after this (I've already got a lot of THAT written, actually - see, I _was_ writing!), but this is the... high point. After this it's all downhill. And what a wild and crazy ride it's been.   
This chapter is not happy. I don't think the climactic part of _any_ Fushigi story (dealing straight with the four groups, not reincarnation or something like that) can be perfectly happy, because as much as we make fun of Watase sometimes, she holds true to the fact that not everything turns out perfectly. Maybe that's why I like this series so much - because it seems more real than many of the others out there, despite it being about imaginary people with fantastic powers. Or maybe I'm just weird ^_~ Actually, I am weird, but that's a whole 'nother tangent. But yes, this isn't happy. And this is my reminder for everyone: _Life isn't fair._ We wish it was, but it's not, I can guarantee. It's a depressing thought, but it's true. It's not fair that I got block and it's not fair that all of you had to wait, but it happened and all we can do is rejoice that it's over. So, instead of replying to ten-month-old reviews, I'm just going to say, thank you everyone for sticking with me, and this - and everything after - is for all of you.   
  


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"Bring Taheiji here… unarmed… and alone."   
Being stripped of our seishi powers proved an inconvenience in more ways than one. As Suzuno fell to her knees at the altar, the rest of us were bowled over and frozen in place by the sheer brilliance of the white light that blazed from the apex of the ceiling, thirty feet above our heads. Wave after wave after wave of light rolled over us, scorching us inside and out with its sheer purity. Straining to move even the smallest thing proved too much for all of us under the barrage of _white_ that surrounded us on every side. Our ears were filled with a rushing that sounded like both a tiger's roar and an oncoming tidal wave rolled into one and let loose upon us - the unaware, the unprepared - as a crashing sound dimly floated through the audile onslaught to register in our overloaded minds.   
And then it was over.   
I blinked cautiously, then slowly shook my head, turning slowly to risk glances left and right. I was still on my feet – we all were, even Yujiro in the doorway, although we all looked very much shaken. Most of us, myself included, were gasping for breath as if we'd almost drowned beneath multiple torrents of freezing water, trembling all over and clearly making an effort to remain on our feet and not collapse in little heaps.   
But for one of us it was too late. Suzuno was lying on her side next to the altar, almost to the point of rolling down the steps, shaking so much she was actually _moving_ across the small amount of space allotted to her. Her arms were clamped around her body and she was convulsing, actually _convulsing_, in front of our eyes. Needless to say, this was definitely less than ideal in our situation.   
"_Suzuno!_"   
For the second time that day, we all rushed to her, frantic to know why she had collapsed on us. I refused to focus on the idea that crept into my mind – the idea that maybe the same thing was happening to her that had happened to Okuda Takiko, Genbu no Miko – because Suzuno was strong, Suzuno was brave, Suzuno could fight it and there was no way in _hell_ that she would ever let that happen to her much less lose to it and she was fine she was going to be fine and we would all live to old age and have a wonderful story to tell our grandchildren. Kokie and Tatara and Amefuri and Tokaki all grabbed a limb and held them down and away from her torso so she was no longer kicking or trying to squeeze herself in half with her own arms, but she still writhed on the floor and twisted within their grasp, trying to wrench out, crying out with vicious cries that should have come from a half-starved raven and not our sweet Suzuno…   
"It…" she huffed quickly, in moments when she had breath and was not straining under the pressure from within her, face twisted in a silent cry of pain, "it hurts… so… so much…"   
"Oh Byakko… her arms!" Kokie breathed, dropping said appendage faster than if it was aflame. It quickly took on a life of its own again and wrapped around her middle, clinging desperately to the strange, otherworldly fabric. "Oh my god… look at her arms!"   
We didn't try to get that arm off her again, but Tokaki used his still-considerable strength to unbutton her other sleeve at the wrist and yank the fabric back – and we all gasped. Sprouting from her wrist and flowing all the way up her arm was pure, creamy white _fur_, striped with a gray so dark it was almost black. Yujiro jumped forward to help pin her down, again minimizing her thrashing, and we could see the white fur creeping out of the collar of her shirt and up her neck… And her hair, her hair was twisting itself out of its braids and turning pale, pale, paler than snow or porcelain or death, and acquiring stripes of its own, and hairs were starting to stick out of those things on her legs she called "stockings", poking through even the tightly-woven material-   
And even as she wrenched in the men's grasps, her face started to change. Her nose flattened and slowly grew away from her face, taking her mouth with it, her eyes becoming smaller and rounder and – they snapped open – pure golden, with a strange inner light of their own, and through her still-long hair I could see her ears travel slowly up the sides of her head and round off, turning pinkish on the inside, and her hands, her delicate hands lost their fingers as her palms slowly expanded and her nails darkened and grew sharper and thicker and longer and-   
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The scream was only half-human, torn from a throat that no longer held the shape for intelligent speech – at least at the beginning. It began as a half-roar, deep, threatening, shaking the floors and walls, but slowly, slowly, got higher and more desperate, less unearthly… And it was as if I had my powers back and was watching time flow in reverse again, because her face stopped growing, holding the half-tiger shape for a moment, before starting to shrink slowly, always slowly, back to where it started. "I… AM… NOT… LOSING!" And her fingers began to grow out of the tiger pads again, the nails once again turning clear and rounded and _normal_… "_YOU… PROMISED!!!_" And Suzuno's eyes blazed white, all color being erased in them as they glowed like stars, then they squeezed shut and when she opened them… They were large and almond-shaped and blue again, our Suzuno's eyes, our miko's eyes.   
Her body gave one last, final heave before settling down beneath everyone's hands, panting heavily as if she'd just run several miles. The stripy fur quickly retreated from her skin and her hair regained its original color, pulling into her braids again as she gave one last heave of strained breath and basically collapsed in our grip. She was still alive, but she was exhausted, weary, and didn't look like she'd be up for much soon.   
"Suzuno?" Tatara asked as the others all let go of her and pulled back. He gathered the heavily breathing girl into a sitting position, using his arms to support her, obviously scared out of his mind. "Suzuno?"   
She turned her head to him – and smiled weakly. I think everyone (except Toroki) let out a sigh of relief at the small action. "I'm... here, Tatara," she replied softly, putting a hand up to his cheek. "I'm… still here…"   
Tatara didn't have to say anything. He simply leaned his forehead against Suzuno's, his eyes closing, his face showing his sheer relief at everything.   
"Hey, what did that?" Kokie queried, drawing our attention to the floor around the burner, and Suzuno's clothes – they were spotted with flecks of ash, all that was left of the summoning fire and our Shi Jin Ten Chi Sho. "It looks like somebody threw them out in handfuls…" I turned my attention back to Suzuno, doing a visual check to make sure she really was all right, as the young seishi climbed the steps of the altar, leaving clear footprints in his wake.   
And then came the precursor to the most horrible sound I'd ever heard: his sudden, shocked, and alarmed intake of breath.   
No one said anything for a second, no one even looked up. For Kokie to react like that, it was bad. Bad as in lock the doors and bar the windows and pray to your god because there's nothing else you can do to save yourself bad. We were screwed. Royally, royally screwed.   
Kokie's steps came softly down the steps to where the rest of us still sat and stood, waiting for the worst. Instead, he didn't say anything, just took my wrist and pulled me to my feet until we were about twenty feet away from the gathering. I gave him a questioning look, but he made no sign of having seen it, leaving me there and going back to bring Tokaki over to join me in the same manner. Even my lover knew better than to speak in the silence that emanated from the youngest of us, but his glare was much more pointed and threatening than my own – and Kokie paid no more attention than before. We were like puppets as he lifted Tokaki's left arm to place it around my waist and moved my own two to circle Tokaki's chest tightly, never looking us in the face. He then moved back to the group and pulled out Amefuri, ignoring everyone's stares as he drew him a bit away and said something so low that there was no chance of it breaking the silence. Amefuri's eyes widened the slightest fraction of a bit and he nodded, moving on his own to stand a couple of feet to Tokaki's right.   
"Kokie," Karasuki finally said, quietly but crossly and not able to take it any more. "What is going on?"   
He glanced at her, the first time he'd made eye contact with any of us since we all fell silent, and didn't bother with any pretenses in uttering the worst sound I'd ever heard in my life: "It's Taheiji."   
We should have known. We should have realized just what had happened after Suzuno made her wish, but somehow her words and their meaning had become inconsequential in the successive event – where our miko nearly met the same end as Okuda Takiko, but had fought tooth and nail to remain herself. She was still lying on the altar, energy spent, with her love beside her, unable to react to Kokie's announcement.   
The rest of us weren't nearly as lucky. I felt my knees buckling beneath me as images and memories from my imprisonment rushed to surround me, erasing even Tokaki's arms around me. Or maybe Tokaki was doing it himself, because he was suddenly roaring in my ear, a tiger himself, and springing forward to the altar – until he we met with my weight, still on him, preventing him from getting very far. He picked me up again very quickly and clutched me so close he was in danger of breaking my ribs, still glaring at the altar as if his glare alone would kill our monster. Amefuri had seen the mad dash Tokaki had attempted and jumped in front of us to prevent him, though he too was giving off waves of displeasure with the situation. Toroki, already shaken from his newfound limitations and mostly unable to tell what was going on, simply sank to the floor in despair. Tatara let out a very audible gasp of shock and Suzuno's face paled and acquired a very determined look at the same time. She hadn't forgotten, but she didn't like it either. Karasuki remained rooted to her spot for two moments, then rushed over to me – not that I could tell she was doing so that easily. My mind was still half in the prison, my body shuddering in Tokaki's arms. Kokie simply stood quietly, waiting for everyone's reactions to finish.   
He must have waited quite a while before I could be brought entirely back to reality. When I finally surfaced, my face was half-buried in Tokaki's chest and Karasuki was speaking quickly and quietly to me, saying that it was all right and it was over and nothing would happen to me now because everyone was here and they would protect me. Amefuri had a hand on Tokaki's shoulder and was performing pretty much the same task with the younger man, getting him to at least calm down enough so he could talk – and Tokaki actually seemed to be taking him seriously. Seriously enough to relax his grip a little and let me breathe.   
Kokie pulled Toroki to his feet and turned to face the rest of us with a hard, in-control gaze. If I could have spared the thoughts, I would have been impressed with how calmly and maturely he was behaving. "Taheiji is currently unconscious and bleeding from the back of his head. Not very badly, but it's there. It appears the fall made him hit his head on the side of the burner and knocked him unconscious in the process. I don't know why he came…" The youngest of us turned to face our miko, still lying on the floor in her love's arms, his gaze steady and somewhat sad. "But I would like to know."   
Suzuno closed her eyes as Tatara's grasp tightened on her ever so slightly, her head relaxing into his arm at an angle to us all. "Don't kill him." The words were barely more than a whisper, but for some reason none of us could disobey that wish. Not even Tokaki. "We need to talk to him…"   
Karasuki glanced nervously at our miko for half a moment, then back to me, then at the burner, where her eyes finally settled and hardened to determination. "Let us find a guard."   
Yujiro stepped forward from the doorway, his face a carefully neutral mask.   
  


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About four hours later, we all gathered once again. We had turned Taheiji over to the palace guards and instructed that he was to be kept separate from all human contact, and in accordance with our wishes he had been taken to an empty room somewhere in the palace, tied up, and left there, still out of it. Suzuno had been sent to bed to recover again, while the rest of us, Yujiro included, reported to the Emperor.   
We couldn't answer many of his questions, most of which included the word "why." Only Suzuno could explain her actions. We could describe the first wish and its effects, but beyond that most of us had almost no idea what was going on. Heika was shocked to hear about our loss of power – an effect that put Yujiro at the position of the strongest among us – but was grateful that even with our new limitations we had gone to help his men. But it was still easy to see his hidden frustration at not having most of his questions answered – and I noticed that I wasn't the only one glancing at Tatara at that point. If he knew anything, he kept it to himself.   
Eventually Heika was called away to deal with affairs of state, many of which seemed to have cropped up since the day began. Our little group slowly and near-silently made its way back to Suzuno's room, Karasuki guiding Toroki and Tokaki still with an arm about my waist. To our surprise, Suzuno was awake, dressed, and sitting at the table when we arrived, staring off into the distance with a kind of sad look I'd never seen before on her face. When she heard our footsteps, she turned to greet us with a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. "How did the emperor take everything?"   
None of us bothered to wonder how she knew we'd seen the emperor; it was just that way with us, sometimes. But before we answered, a cautious glance was shared between everyone except Tatara and Toroki. How could we phrase our own questions? "We do not know how he took everything," Karasuki began at last, "because we could not tell him everything."   
"We didn't know it all. Only you do. Can you explain what's been going on?" Kokie continued, his voice low and calm.   
For one moment, Suzuno sat there, staring. But then she sighed and nodded, and the rest of us quietly found seats around the room.   
"You…" She paused, searching for the words. "You all know what I did, what's happened to you, and about the first wish." No one questioned the fact that she knew about our loss, even thought she'd been sleeping when most of us found out. "You know what happened with the second wish as well." Her eyes flickered over each of us, but we showed no reaction to her statement. None of us knew, none of us except Tatara, but at the moment we had slightly larger problems, in the form of what was probably the most dangerous man in the world being magically transported to our shrine and dropped in our brazier. Suzuno knew that, and skipped over our unspoken curiosity to the matter at hand. "But the third… That was the problem. I always knew what I wanted two of the wishes to be-" her face twisted in sadness for a moment, but quickly retreated to its previous form "-but I had no idea about how to use the third. I didn't know what I could do that wouldn't be either incredibly selfish or ineffective, since the first wish would protect Sairou, making wishing for it again useless…" She paused and sighed, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face as her gaze turned to the tabletop in front of her. "I thought about it for a long time," she continued quietly, one finger reaching out to slowly trace the pattern of the wood, "but nothing would come. And then a couple days ago I heard Heika say that if only they could question Taheiji, they might be able to prevent another one of him from rising up and trying to take over the world again. I… I decided to grant him that wish. After all, Sairou would be protected with my first wish, but what about the other countries? Even Kutou itself could be invaded by someone else, or Konan, or even Hokkan if Takiko-chan's… Genbu no miko's wish was wearing off."   
"And that is why you have wished him here?" Karasuki gently prodded from her place on the bed, watching Suzuno carefully.   
"Yes." Our miko was calm, sad, and softly determined. Even if she could have changed her mind, she wouldn't. "I know you all think it was idiotic, but if something like this can be prevented in the future, then I think it's worth the risk. Even to myself." Suzuno looked up, gazing at each of us for a moment before beginning to speak again. "Without his weapons and armies he's just a very smart man. Heika's not going to give him the opportunity to escape, and you know the guards will strip-search him. We're _not going to let him get away with this_. Nor anyone after him."   
"Suzuno…" Kokie began hesitantly, "how do you know he'll cooperate?"   
Her reply was very matter-of-fact. "I don't. But with him, I have no objections to using… means of persuasion." Her eyes turned dark and unfocused, the corners of her mouth swooping down as she watched something only she could see. I felt my own face beginning to frown – just what had happened to her in that fort before I'd been captured? While my own actions had made it impossible to disguise the fact that something had happened to me, we'd never wondered if something had happened to Suzuno beyond her repeated drugging. She hadn't said anything, possibly because she was faced with the overwhelming problem I'd been, but… _had_ something else happened to her, or was this simply because of me? Her blue eyes were darkened by the shadows of the room, but even their lovely internal light had been lost. She wasn't telling us something.   
"What is it, Suzuno?" Karasuki asked softly. "What happened to make you think this way?" Apparently I wasn't the only one who'd noticed something odd.   
And her face closed like a gate had slammed shut. Her mouth pressed into a thin, firm line, eyes becoming steely-hard and pointed, ready to take down anyone in her way. "Nothing happened that you don't already know. Let's go find Taheiji."   
  


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In accordance with our wishes, the palace guard had removed Taheiji to an unused room deep in the palace, tied him securely to a chair, and stood watch over him until we arrived. Our group made a strange little parade as we traversed the halls, led by Yujiro, Suzuno and Tatara following close behind him and clutching each other's hands tightly. Tatara still had his sword drawn, and the fingers of his other hand gripped the hilt tighter than Suzuno. The rest of us, Tokaki with an intensely protective arm around my waist, didn't even try to get anything out of either of them on the journey, just waiting for whatever was to come.   
There weren't many guards at the door to the room. One older man was posted outside, spear resting against his shoulder idly, but he snapped to attention when he spotted us out of the corner of his eye. A quick question from Yujiro and the door was opened, revealing five more guards standing in a ring around a chair placed in the middle of the floor. The figure in the chair was slumped over, his back to the door and hands tied behind him, the length of rope coiled three times around his chest as an extra deterrent. I was very, very glad to see the rope was pulled tight – so tight it was probably making trouble for his breathing. Good, let him know what it feels like, the terror that constricts your throat and lungs and cuts off life-giving oxygen-   
"Subaru?" came a voice quietly next to me. Kokie had put a hand on my shoulder, watching me with a bit of worry. I was startled to realize that my facial muscles had shrunk into a glare, a glare so hard that it should have pierced metal, aimed at the back of Taheiji's head. I took a deep breath, looked down at the group, and forced myself to relax. This man had hurt me, but he couldn't do it again – and I would make sure he couldn't do it to anyone else.   
I didn't answer Kokie as Tokaki led me inside, and Karasuki, leading Toroki, managed to get between us and the boy so he didn't have the opportunity to ask any questions. I heard him sigh and head to the opposite side of our captive, hands folding behind his back to clench themselves tightly. He was worried - more worried than he'd let us see. That thought drove the glare from my face, replacing it with something I didn't even have the vocabulary to describe - nor did I think I'd want to try. If I had, I'm sure the closest I could have come was "sheer terror." Yujiro came inside as well, positioning himself in a darkened corner so as to be as much of an impartial observer as was possible in our situation. Ebizo had had a theory that someone under Taheiji's command, or even formally, such as Yujiro had been, could possibly read any signals the ex-commander would give off. I was doubtful, as Taheiji was better at concealing himself than anyone I'd ever met or heard of, but if there was even a slightest chance I was all for it. The thought that he'd cooperate with us tasted of nothing more than distant hope; we could use any help available.   
Once the eight of us were arranged in a rough half-circle in front of the chair and our prisoner, Suzuno stepped forward, drawing out a sprig of plant from her pocket. Tatara had said that there were certain plants whose scent could rouse a man even from a dead faint, and Dr. Yamura had kindly provided us with one such sample. Taheiji's head lay kilted forward, chin nearly resting on his chest, prevented from slumping by the ropes which bound him. There was just enough room for Suzuno to crush the spring in her hand and wave it under his nose, letting the scent filter to him before stepping back. He didn't wake instantaneously. Instead, when Suzuno's hand was removed, the muscles in his right arm twitched as if he was pulling against the ropes, then his head started swaying a little back and forth, moving from side to side in an ever increasing arc. Other muscles in his chest and arms flexed, and finally he lifted his head, slowly, to face us.   
I had to gasp. Was this the man who'd so terrified me, day and night? He was a mere shadow of his former self. His face used to be utterly normal, but he had acquired a gaunt look in the past few months that gave me the idea of a skeleton come to life. His eyes were sunken in, the pupils bigger than they needed to be even in the dim room. The reddish-brown hair was the color of mud now - it took me a second to realize that some parts actually were caked with mud. With a bit more light cast on his body I could see the clothes hanging more loosely off his frame, and there was a rip in his shirt and another at the left knee of his pants. War hadn't treated him any more kindly than it had us - all of us were a bit thinner than when we'd escaped the fort as well - but no one had sunk quite this far.   
It took his tired eyes, probably far more used to the watery glare of our winter sun than the darkness of the inner room, a moment to focus - but when they did the reaction was sudden and immediate. "You!" he spat. His eyes narrowed dangerously as he recognized Suzuno before him, standing quite still with her arms crossed as she stared him down, mouth pressed into a thin line. It was obvious that no matter the physical depravities he suffered from, his mind and voice remained untouched. "You did this." The certainty, and the loathing, was absolutely complete. "You'll pay for this wench, just wait and see if you don't."   
"And just how do you propose to do that?" Suzuno, still looking mightily displeased, bent forward at the waist until she and Taheiji were nearly nose to nose. "Your army's not here, you have no weapons, you're weak and underfed and I'm willing to bet more than a little tired. War isn't fun, especially in a hostile country." Her voice before had been ringing in the otherwise quiet room, but now she dropped her volume to where we could just barely hear. "Where I come from we have something called war criminals. You have committed enough atrocities to be executed twelve times over, and I don't think the emperor will pass up this chance to get rid of a threat."   
"You think you can keep me here?" he spat, eyes narrowing further as he started twisting in the chair, trying to loosen the ropes. "You can't keep me here forever, _girl_. Your desert hearts are as soft as sand, you don't have the guts to kill me-"   
"Oh, we don't?" Tokaki stepped up behind Taheiji, face as hard and hateful as a rock, taking the man's shoulders in his hands and wrenching him still as Tatara drew his sword and pressed the tip to Taheiji's throat. The former commander quieted instantly. "I think you'll find a great many things about us surprise you," Tatara continued easily, almost conversationally. Taheiji glared at him but didn't respond. "How do you think we escaped your fort? How do you think our country has been holding you off for so long, even with your reinforcements? Your siege failed miserably, and would have failed anyway even if all your men hadn't been removed. Oh, we can kill you."   
"There's nothing I'd like more," Tokaki growled, his grip tightening intensely.   
"But we can't. Not now, at least. See, the emperor promised us this little chance with you as long as his interrogators could still pick pieces out of you later. So we can't kill you. But we definitely can rough you up a little." Tatara's eyes narrowed a bit, wearing a strange expression that was almost feral. Tokaki right now was more frightening, but Tatara was far more disturbing as he pushed the sword point a little harder into the man's skin. "In fact, maybe we will. And just to spite you, we'll do it without powers."   
A hand silently fit itself into mine; turning, I saw Toroki standing there, looking thinner than ever, that haunted, lost look still in his sightless face. Tatara's declaration hit him hard; without his powers, he was useless, at least in his own mind. I knew he felt lost, alone, and frightened, and I had no idea how to fix it. All I could do was grip his hand tightly, silently reassuring him as best I could.   
"But we're not like you, liking senseless violence without reason." Tatara's eyes narrowed violently, the sword moved closer, a scratch appeared as he dragged it down. "We're going to rough you up to get answers. Even if I was a pacifist I'd agree to it; you deserve it for putting all of us, our country, and _your own soldiers_ through hell for five years. You can't come bursting into our country just because your own is in shambles and you want to be emperor. It doesn't work that way. So as your payment you're going to tell us anything we want you to."   
Taheiji's eyes narrowed as well, but he smiled - grimly, but satisfied, the smile of a confident killer. "That would require my cooperation, wouldn't it? What makes you think you'll get it? That because I'm tied to this chair I'm just going to capitulate and break down sobbing? Try what you like, I'm not telling you anything." Before I could blink there was a drop of red at Taheiji's throat, Tatara pushing the sword again and gritting his teeth, working hard to stop himself from running him through right now. Taheiji simply continued smirking as if the sword wasn't there, as if his own blood hadn't been drawn, as if he were in perfect command of the situation. "My informants are very good - I know exactly who all of you are, and what powers you have. None of you can read my mind nor force me to tell the truth. The boy over there comes close, but he operates based on feeling. An empath, not a telepath. Your powers are for fighting, not plotting, and since you've already said you won't use them anyway there's no way you can match my intellect. I'll never say one damn thing I don't want to."   
"Yes you will, starting now." Tatara could barely speak, his teeth were so clenched, and the hand holding the sword started to shake a little. Tokaki was _already_ shaking and unable to speak, probably from far too much rage - if he'd tried, he'd've snapped Taheiji's head off his neck. As it was he could barely hold the man down and resist the temptation right in front of him. Tatara closed his eyes - then trembled as he drew the point of the sword back from Taheiji's neck, putting a bit of air between them again. When he opened his eyes he was still plainly determined, but more in control. "Your generals and other subordinates are now either all dead or in Kutou, but would any of them have the capacity and the ambition to take your place and try to continue the assault?"   
"All of them."   
Tatara flinched in anger again but held it back - for now. "Do you think that any of them _will_?"   
Taheiji smirked again, deliberately leaning his head forward so his throat was touching the point of the sword again. "Wouldn't you like to know?"   
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Tokaki's hands flew off of Taheiji's shoulders as he roared, the right coming up to bash the man hard in the side of his head, sending him lurching sideways and causing the sword to scrape a red line across his throat, just enough to alarm but barely deep at all. "THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! HE'LL NEVER TELL US ANYTHING, DON'T YOU GET IT?! THIS GUY IS A SICK FUCK WHO'LL NEVER GIVE IN! _NEVER!_" Ignoring the rest of us, he strode over to the wall and plowed his fist _through_ it; yes, through it, even without his powers, Tokaki was strong enough to put holes in walls. I immediately ran over to him, dragging Toroki in my wake, and dropped the boy's hand to throw my arms around my lover. Tokaki didn't turn around, but he did remove his hand from the wall and grip my arms tightly, reassuring me as I was trying to calm him. "Why'd you have to be such a sick, deranged bastard?" he muttered, and it was obvious who his target was.   
The ex-commander slowly drew one side of his mouth up in what was positively his most evil smirk yet, taunting and cruel. "You're afraid I'm more of a man than you are, _boy_ - why don't you ask the little harlot there who was better?"   
Another wordless roar of rage tore itself from Tokaki's throat and if I hadn't been clinging to him he would've jumped for Taheiji right then; as it was he only repeated his earlier performance, getting about a foot before my weight brought him back to earth as I yelped with the shock. Surprisingly there was also a coinciding yell and more bodies were flying: Karasuki used her staff to trip Amefuri in the middle of his own leap and sent him crashing to the floor, Yujiro had yelled and run forward but smashed into Toroki, and Suzuno had to jump onto Tatara's sword arm to prevent him from accidentally (maybe) cutting Taheiji's throat. Taheiji just observed all the chaos he'd created with that self-satisfied smirk.   
Kokie walked up and without preamble punched him in the head.   
Taheiji reeled as he glared at him. "You are _not_ in control here," he began as people slowly began to calm down and sort themselves out, Yujiro and Karasuki helping Toroki and Amefuri up. "We're actually holding off the really bad stuff here - if we hadn't requested this, you'd be with the emperor's interrogators right now and they'd be ripping all your plans out of your head. But we're not above making you cooperate - or at least shutting up your smart mouth." I gaped. Who knew that Kokie could be so forceful? Our little fourteen-year-old was talking down one of the most powerful, smart, conniving men in the world - sure, he was bound, but the man could still terrify. But try telling that to Kokie. "We're not putting up with your 'comments' anymore. Now tell us, what other plans did you have for Sairou, and what point were you at when you lost miserably?"   
Taheiji spat on the floor.   
Karasuki grabbed Amefuri's arm as he was about to slug him again. "No," she said firmly, giving Kokie a look as well. "No, that is just what he wants. That is what he wants, is for us to be violent and mad and unthinking and to fall to pieces. He delights in seeing us like this, and I for one am not going to give him any of the satisfaction of having him put me in that position." Pulling Amefuri's arm down slowly, she gently patted his shoulder, giving him something else to focus on besides Taheiji. "Now calm yourself – we have already made one hole in the wall, I do not think Heika will much like another."   
Every day I wish to Byakko that things had turned out differently. Every day I live I wish that we had bolted that door from the inside – but none of us even checked to see if there was a bolt in place there. None of us thought that anything could go wrong; we were all so sure of our complete victory. We were so sure.   
And we were wrong.   
It began with a vague shouting in the hall, what sounded like two voices, old and very young. But we'd barely had time to register them before the door burst open and a small, ornately dressed figure burst into the room, running at full tilt as the elderly guard who'd been standing watch outside the door tried to follow in his wake and failed desperately. "Toroki, Kokie, Tatara, come and see come a-"   
And then it was too late.   
Before any of us knew what was happening Taheiji had burst from his chair, the ropes falling limp to the floor as if they'd never been tied in the first place, jumping directly at Tatara and wrenching the sword from his hand, knocking him and Suzuno over in the process. The rest of us were screaming and rushing for our supposed captive as Motoki, the emperor's second son, screeched to a halt in confusion and fear – a hair too late to stop the inevitable. Taheiji grabbed him by one highly embroidered sleeve and spun the child into his grasp, holding the boy's back to his stomach and pressing the edge of the blade against his throat. Those deceitfully normal eyes were darting back and forth as we all suddenly stopped, genuinely afraid for Motoki's life. It was a grotesque parody of our first entering the room, with us again ranged in a half-circle in front of Taheiji, but with the tables turned, turned so badly that we couldn't do anything to fix it. If we'd had our powers… If we'd checked his ropes… If we'd secured the door… If, if if if. So many ifs, and any one of them could have prevented seeing Motoki frightened out of his wits, a red line starting to form at his throat that was the twin of Taheiji's. His small hands gripped the arm across his chest, his jaw trembled, and his eyes stared at us widely and helplessly. We were cornered by that look – and Taheiji knew it.   
"Back up," he demanded as our horrified screams died in the few moments after steel met Motoki's skin. We complied, backing up as he did, until we were almost fully across the room and his back was at the wall – preventing us or any allies from getting behind him. "That's far enough," and we halted, just in time to see more soldiers, what looked like the same five who had been guarding him earlier, rush into the room and halt just inside the door. Taheiji glared at all fifteen of us impartially, still scanning us with those unremarkable eyes. "You," he said to the guard closest to the door, "go and find Ebizo." None of us even wondered why he knew Ebizo's name. "Bring him here. Tell him I have the emperor's son, and if he doesn't want the boy to die he better be willing to listen to my demands. Without any guards." Unlike his taunting tone of earlier, now he was completely in control, again the self-confident commander I'd encountered in the fort, the one that wore his self-confidence as casually as other men wore a shirt. He wasn't giving an order; he was an order. The guard he'd named immediately broke into a run out the door in the direction of the throne room.   
"You complete _bastard_, using a child as a shield…" Yujiro spoke up, clenching his fists in fury. "And I thought you could sink no lower than you already were."   
"Ah, Bu, so that is where you disappeared to. I thought as much." His voice altered again, to that some conversational tone he'd used when questioning me, so much more of a taunt now than before. "Yes, I had reports on you… You didn't like the way we treated our prisoners, did you? You refused to let any men go down to retrieve them after my wonderful night with Subaru here." Amefuri and I had to grab and drag on Tokaki's arms to keep him from killing Taheiji there and then. "At the time it seemed of little importance, and perhaps it was – but the reactions seem to have had a great impact. By all means come closer if you want him to suffer more." He pressed the sword further into Motoki's neck as Yujiro started to take a step forward and stopped, and Motoki let out a high yelp as another trickle of red flowed. "That's better. It really is so easy to take advantage of these high-and-mighty 'morals' of yours."   
"_You little shit, let him go and fight like a man!_"   
Taheiji's eyes flickered to Tokaki, still struggling against our restraining grasps and clearly ready to go on shouting his head off. "Now I think I've been very patient through all of this, really. I've ignored your repeated attempts to try and attack me – but mostly because of that undeniably lovely woman whom you don't seem able to fully appreciate hanging onto your arm." Now we had to dig in our heels to keep him from springing forward, and Taheiji's mouth twisted into a cruel smile. "Perhaps when I leave, I shall take her with me… And teach her again what a _real_ man is like."   
I stopped dragging. My arms had turned to stone, my feet were anchored unmoving to the floor. That was it, that was all of my nightmares realized, being alone with Taheiji with absolutely no way out, and the world began to go dark around me, and I began to smell that eternally foul dust of that room again-   
And something hit my cheek sharply, knocking my head to one side. I came back immediately because never, in any of my nightmares, had Taheiji ever hit me like that. That was a woman's slap, and indeed when I came to I found Suzuno in front of me, hand poised to slap again, watching cautiously. "Suba-chan… are you back?"   
I nodded, only then realizing that I was no longer holding Tokaki's arm. In fact, at first, I couldn't see Tokaki, but when I glanced down it became all to apparent what had happened. When I'd lost it I'd dropped his arm, and Tatara had run over to restrain his friend, but even that wasn't enough so Karasuki had thrown herself about his waist – and knocked all four of them over into a great heap with Tokaki on the bottom. Not one of the others was looking to get up, though; sitting on him seemed the safest way to keep him restrained.   
And through this all, Taheiji just smiled, pleased with himself and the chaos he caused us. "Your reactions certainly are predictable, Tokaki. I wonder how long are you going to put up with your companions stopping you when you so clearly have a thirst for my blood… Tie him up." And his voice changed again, back to an unquestionable order, and he was looking at me.   
I glared back with all the fury I had. "What makes you think I'm going to do anything for _you?_" I spat out.   
He only pressed the blade into Motoki's throat harder.   
Cursing loudly and frequently inside, I slowly approached the chair where Taheiji had originally been tied and slowly lifted the ropes from the floor, watching him the entire time. As I moved back to where the pile of seishi lay on the floor, I couldn't help looking at the ropes. They hadn't been cut, only untied; Taheiji had only needed a few minutes to escape the guards' bonds once he was awake. We were fools for not checking to see if the ropes needed to be retied, and our foolishness meant he would go free. I knelt next to Tokaki as Tatara silently climbed off his upper body, making sure to pin his arms behind his back, and bent over to kiss him gently on the temple. "I'm sorry, love."   
"It's not your fault," he answered, his glare never leaving Taheiji.   
I nodded and wrapped the rope around his wrists, as loose as I dared as Taheiji was watching the operation with his normal air of distant interest but undoubtedly noticing everything. One, two, three, four passes of the ropes and they had to be tied off; they were too thick to be wound any more. I started to stand again, but Taheiji just casually shook his head. "The feet as well. I've seen him in action."   
"I'm not going to humiliate him like that!" I exploded.   
He shrugged – and pushed on that sword again. "His humiliation or this one's life, but choose quickly."   
"Just tie me, Subaru!" Tokaki yelled, though the yell was definitely meant more for Taheiji. He was worried about Motoki: as I looked up quickly, I saw another drop of red appear and flow down the path the first few had taken, his eyes growing wider and more frightened. I hesitated for just a moment, then bent as Karasuki climbed off his legs and began winding the rope around them as well, starting at the ankles and working up. Just as I was tying the knot, shouting once again swelled from the hallway to reach our ears, and seconds later the guard Taheiji had sent, Ebizo-sama, Heika, and a woman I didn't know burst into the room, all breathing hard and all except Ebizo, looking frightened out their minds. The woman gave a strangled cry at the scene and her hands flew to her mouth, eyes widening and body nearly collapsing onto the emperor. He, too, was staring and scared as he automatically caught the empress – it couldn't be anyone else, they were wearing matching ornate outfits – pulling her into his shoulder.   
I'd never seen him scared. Not when we brought the news of Suzuno's kidnapping, not when the city was surrounded, especially not at any time during the fighting. He was a good emperor, strong and kind and just and smart, and we were lucky to have him. But every man had a weak spot, many had more than one, and for him, it was clearly his family. Because even as I watched, tears began flowing from my ruler's eyes. "Motoki…"   
"M-Mother… Father…" was all Motoki managed to get out.   
Taheiji spent a moment looking mildly amused. "Of course the doting parents wouldn't believe it and would want to see it for themselves. All they can say is they brought the pain on themselves." And he cut Heika off before he'd even finished opening his mouth. "Demanding me to let the brat go is useless; you want him alive, while I'm perfectly fine with him ending up dead. Of course that would defeat the purpose of keeping him, but you would hardly order guards to shoot your own son in order to _maybe_ hit me." Taheiji smiled, that small, cruel smile again. "You're too compassionate, Heika-_sama_. A ruler must know when to be ruthless, and plainly you do not."   
"Watch your mouth, you are in the presence-"   
"_You are not in control here!_" Taheiji shouted at Ebizo, and Kokie winced to hear the same words he'd spoken only minutes before. How quickly the tables had turned. His arm jerked as he shouted and Motoki cried out, more red welling up from beneath the blade before Taheiji settled his arm. "If you think you are, then by all means keep talking – you'll only have yourself to blame if you see the child bleed more."   
"S-Stop it…" the empress sobbed.   
"I'll stop if you acquiesce to my demands. Really, they're not much." That smirk. I was really starting to hate it. "A horse, saddled and bridled with good, sturdy equipment, no deliberate or accidental flaws to make it break within a few days. On that horse I want enough supplies, food and water both, to last me for one week, a second sword, and a very detailed – and _accurate_ – map of Sairou. That horse will be brought to the nearest exit to the palace and all guards, soldiers, servants – everyone, actually - will pull out of the grounds and palace walls and gates and let me leave. If you don't, I will kill the child. This blade will never leave his throat until I am safely a long distance from the city, at which point I swear I will let him go to follow the road back. If you attack or follow me, I will kill him. Even if you _do_ shoot me you won't be able to save him, as this sword will never be far enough from his throat to not kill even during a death seizure. Do you get that, Heika-sama? Even shooting me in the back will not save your son. If you do this, I swear I will let the boy go when I am a satisfactory distance from the city." He paused, almost considering. "Oh yes, and you two are coming as well." His eyes landed on Suzuno and me.   
If he expected a storm of protest, what he got was silence. All of us just stared at him, the haggard commander with a small boy in front of him, exact opposites except for the strangely similar cuts on their necks. Taheiji's wasn't bleeding any longer, but every so often another drop would well up around the blade still pressed into Motoki's neck and his eyes still stared at us, pleading with us to save him, please. The boy was only ten, he didn't deserve to be used like a pawn in a game…   
"How are you going to do that?" Amefuri asked, sounding honestly baffled. "Just thinking logically," he began quickly when Taheiji made to move the sword again, "you won't be able to control three people with one sword, especially not a seishi and a miko who's stubborn as hell. Especially once you let the kid go, there won't be anything stopping them from stopping _you_."   
Taheiji became almost contemplative. "An interesting point… Thank you for bringing it to my attention."   
"Idiot!" Karasuki said, whapping Amefuri upside the head. "You did not want to do him a favor!"   
"Ow! I was just trying to-"   
"We know what you were just, but you-"   
The rest of us ignored them after the first few words, waiting Taheiji's decision. Pride or capabilities… We all knew what he'd choose.   
Finally he nodded. "Right, so I am not able to take both. I'm still taking one, though." And he nodded.   
We all stared.   
"Me?" Suzuno whispered. "Yo-You want to take… me? But you keep mentioning Suba-chan…"   
"And here I thought you all were so eager to die for each other. Well let me let you in on a secret, pet: she's worthless - goods lose their savor once they find another home." On the floor Tokaki started thrashing again on the floor, yelling, but unable to get loose, and Taheiji simply spoke over the noise. "You, on the other hand – Never was I able to get to you because of that damn shield." _Huh? Shield?_ "But now that Byakko's been summoned, he won't have any reason to preserve you anymore… And there's nothing so sweet as, ahem, charting unexplored territory…"   
This time Yujiro had to flatten Tatara as Suzuno turned ashy pale. "You failed… You failed _miserably!_ You won't succeed this time either!"   
"Now now, my sweet, I think I will. But…" His eyes flicked from seishi to seishi impartially as the empress continued sobbing. "What I want to know is why none of you have taken that as an affront against your god and his priestess and attacked me. Oh, I know you said that you wouldn't use your powers to draw out information, but the situation has changed, don't you think?" Once again his gaze passed over us, the corners of his mouth twisting up even further in his smile. "And yet, none of you are. Interesting. It's almost as if… you can't."   
_Oh shit shit shit…_   
"You, for example," Taheiji continued, eyes settling on the still-fuming Tokaki. "Why haven't you just disappeared? I've seen you do it many times, and by all rights you could have used that to escape your bonds. Or you." This time Tatara, still on the floor with Yujiro on top of him, was the target. "Where are your vines now? Or your flying staff? Or you bending the sword? You I'm not too sure about," he said to Amefuri, considering the other man, "but there must be something. Why aren't you using it? Any of you?"   
No one answered.   
"Then the conclusion I'm forced to draw is… you _can't_."   
_SHIT._   
"Well now… This puts us in an interesting position." I swear he was gloating now with that smirk. "Rendered powerless by the summoning of your god… Unable to use the divine gifts he graced you with… You're no better than ordinary people now, no faster or stronger or more stunning. You can't even save one child from one man with only a sword. So…" And that smirk went even _wider_. "I don't think you're going to protest too loudly when I take your priestess with me. At least, not with your sadly non-existent powers. Now, Suzuno." Taheiji straightened up a little, the smirk disappearing and replace by a look of total control. "Come here."   
At first it looked like she'd refuse. Suzuno was wearing her determined stubbornness out on her sleeve, plainly unhappy with the situation… But then Motoki looked at her.   
No ten-year-old should have heard half the things that Taheiji had been spouting, but when he'd heard that we were powerless… His idols, who could probably defeat an army when given the right conditions, couldn't save him. We couldn't save him. All the trust that he'd invested in us from the beginning, and we failed him. Even though Taheiji was still holding that sword to his throat, even though his mother was sobbing and his father was in shock, the look of panic began to slowly disappear as the fact that _we were helpless_ hit home. Instead he was silently asking every one of us if it was true, that we couldn't help him.   
And when Suzuno saw that… Byakko, she did it. She stepped forward. No one said anything, not even Tatara, watching helplessly from the floor; no one _could_ stop her. It was her decision, to stop him from killing Motoki right now-   
"NO!"   
Toroki. We'd forgotten about Toroki. He hadn't backed up as far as the rest of us and Taheiji hadn't said a thing about it, probably since the boy didn't have his bow and he was blind anyway. And of course, after he figured out that we didn't have our powers, it mattered even less if one wasn't as far back. He had been a wreck since the loss of our powers, shivering and shaking and cringing, cut off from sensing the world the way he had for as long as he could remember. He _looked_ torn up, too; lost, scared, all the emotions nobody ever wants to feel but has to at some point. He'd never been blind, he'd said, because he could see with his mind, and now that portion of himself was gone and he was more alone than he'd ever been.   
So I don't know what he'd been thinking as he was hearing all of this, but it almost certainly couldn't have been logical and straightforward like he usually was. Because right after he shouted he leaped forward in the direction of Taheiji's voice, wildly and blindly running towards the most dangerous man in the world without any weapon at all. Even Taheiji hadn't expected that, and for one moment his eyes widened as Toroki charged, then he pulled the sword from Motoki's skin and swung it at my little brother, striking him hard in the side of the head with the cold metal of the hilt and sending him flying.   
The guards seized the chance to attack as well, but Taheiji knew it was over; for just a moment there was a glimpse of complete certainty in his eyes. Then, in one rapid, fluid motion, he brought the sword back to Motoki's neck and cut sharply, then stabbed himself through the heart before the small body had time to hit the floor in a pool of its own blood. 


	34. Chapter 31: Sayonara

  
**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Fushigi Yuugi. It's just that simple.  
**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** ...So.  
Been a long time, hasn't it? Three years. Well, technically four-and-change for "Market" specifically, three-and-change for anything on this account. I've got no explanations, really. So much stuff has happened in those years that about all I can say is, don't ever expect anything to come out a certain way. You'll almost always be wrong. (And it's not always a bad thing when the unexpected happens. It's simply unexpected.)  
So life happened and inspiration threw me a few curve balls for a long time. But I promised myself - and Certain Other People - a really long time ago that I _would_ finish this story. So, more for myself than anything, I'm saying it again here: _Market, and Before the Market, will be finished._ It may not be soon. But it _will_ be finished. I don't know how many people remember this story; I haven't checked the main FY page in close to five years - probably won't this time either, actually. But if anyone used to read and returns, I'm so sorry for making you wait for this, especially since it's so depressing (you'll see what I mean).  
(Addendum: reuploaded with quotes and apostrophes oh dear god why did they all get eaten.)  
I'm also at work overhauling my other incredibly huge opus - R&R. A _lot_ of stuff has bugged me about that one since I first put it up, since I began without doing some _very basic work_, such as any planning stage whatsoever. I don't know how well it's going to work, but I'm starting to lay groundwork into making that one something that I like a lot more, starting with the very basics and gradually working out. If it _does_ work, R&R will probably come down entirely, as I'm seeing a _lot_ of plot overhaul needed. More than anything else, actually.  
Good night, everyone. I love you all.  
  
  
  
It was over.  
The emperor and his empress had taken the small body of their second son into their arms, regardless of the blood, and wept openly in the back of that small room. The guards could only stare in shock for quite a few minutes before stepping forward and lifting Taheiji, taking his body to be burned. They were all still in shock as they left. And the eight of us - but not the proper eight, because we had Yujiro instead of Toroki - hadn't been able to do a thing. Motoki was dead. Motoki was dead. An innocent child, a member of the royal family, yes, but still just a child. He'd come looking for a playmate, and would instead be playing with the ghosts. We'd failed to protect him, failed to protect our emperor. It was over.  
It had been awhile before we could carefully lift Toroki and carry him out on a makeshift stretcher that some of the guards brought us. He wasn't dead - we'd never thought he was, because all the while we could see a faint rise and fall in his chest. He'd flown back from the strike and collapsed like a rag doll, his skin was pale, there was a wound just above his left ear that was bleeding sluggishly, and most of the area around that was starting to bruise, but he wasn't dead. But we also didn't know how seriously hurt he was, and without my powers I couldn't fix him. Karasuki took off her sash and tied it around his head as a bandage, and then we left our rulers alone with their grief so we could continue with ours.  
Time passed; I don't know how much. We put Toroki in his bed, and some time after that Inoue brought Doctor Yamura to us. The kind man told us that Motoki's funeral preparations had already begun, and that priests from the monastery that was situated on the hill had come down to perform it and prepare the body. The two other children were in shock, while their parents had cried themselves silent and could only hold each other. It was Ebizo that was actually directing things at this point, even though he was grief-stricken as well, having known these children since they were born. We'd nodded, our own eyes still dry from shock, and watched as Dr. Yamura began to inspect Toroki.  
The diagnosis was not good: head wound with quite possibly much more damage inside than out, shock, broken blood vessels - he'd looked at us quite directly and said that he didnt know if Toroki would ever recover from those wounds. He wasn't looking at me when he said that; by now, the entire palace had heard of our powerlessness. If I'd had my powers I could have fixed him; as it was, I was nothing more than another pair of hands to hold a bandage in place. The doctor washed off the blood and replaced Karasuki's make-shift bandage with a fresh, clean one after carefully stitching the wound closed. Then, after a quick glance at each of us, he left, leaving Inoue behind, just as shocked and silent as the rest of us.  
  
  
  
I don't know how much time passed. An eternity of nothing swept before us as we sat there, held in place by our shock, our voices now as lifeless as Motoki. There was nothing we could do. Absolutely nothing.  
"Wh..."  
That small sound made me shift my gaze away from where it had been fixated on the wall to Suzuno. Our priestess was trying to speak, trying to overcome the stillness, but was finding it nearly impossible. "What... What did we do wrong?"  
"Everything." In contrast, Amefuri's voice was grimly solid in the dead air. "We did everything wrong. And there's nothing we can do to unmake it."  
"Don't say it like that," Tatara ordered softly, both arms around Suzuno's shoulders as she leaned against his chest.  
"Why not?" Amefuri shot back. "It's true. We can't change it."  
"But there is no need to be so insensitive about it," Karasuki chimed in, a bit angrily. "We all must feel bad enough as it is, you included. You do not need to pound it into our heads even further."  
"We failed our job," Kokie murmured. "We protected the country, but we didn't keep everyone safe. Our own superior feelings overcame us in the end."  
"Joji-chan, you know that's not true." Inoue reached to take her brother's hand, looking absolutely lost. "You won; you protected Sairou, and it will always be protected."  
"But we failed Motoki."  
"But nothing." Tokaki stood suddenly and began to pace like a restless tiger. "We fucked up. We all know it. We saved the country. Taheiji won't be after anybody again." His pacing gradually slowed, as his internal battle moved outward. "The villages are safe. The soldiers back in Kutou... The borders are protected by a god..." He stopped, leaned his head against the wall. "But I can't get him out of my _head_..."  
I didn't have to ask which 'him' Tokaki meant. I looked down and brushed a piece of Toroki's sandy blond hair between my fingers, watching his expression. Except for the bandage, and the unusual pallor of his skin, he could have been sleeping. His face wasn't twisted in pain, nor in pleasure, his hands lay calmly on the blanket. Oh gods, what I would have given to have him _really_ be sleeping  
"Suzuno... You have to, now." A quiet, serious voice brought me back to the present: Yujiro's. "You have to explain. What was going on? What was all that raving Taheiji did in there about? What happened before this?"  
Talk fell quiet again as everyone looked at Suzuno, who was looking at the floor. Tatara remained silent as well, his arms still around her, until she softly pushed away and stood up, moving to the table in the room and leaning on it. "Explain... I know."  
We waited. She stood there, not moving, for several moments, fingers clutching the decorative molding on the edge of the table and taking several deep breaths. Whatever happened, it hadn't been easy She was going to tell us, but it was going to cost her dearly. And then she began to speak.  
"It... was in the prison. In that fort on the border... I was there for a few days before you got there. There are men in the Kutou army who are like you, Tokaki; they can teleport. Not as far. But there are many of them. Taheiji uses them as spies and couriers. They'd smuggled servants into the palace early to spy for them as well as they were able, and when they learned of the appearance of the miko-" her mouth twisted in a bit of a bitter smile "-me, they got them to spy on me as well, and ...kidnap me, before all of the seishi had shown and stopped him. Two failed, but the last- and, well, you know that part. He took me somewhere and handed me off to one of the teleporting men, who gave me to another, and another... I found this out in the fort, because they'd knocked me out, as you know. Taheiji didn't tell me, but his guards... they liked to talk. I simply sat and listened and pieced things together.  
"The first day wasn't so bad, because Taheiji had come out and said he wasn't going to kill me. I think he meant the 'at least not soon' to be implied, though I wasn't sure what he wanted me alive for. Probably because if I was alive, another miko wouldn't be called to take my place, and he thought he could keep me from all of you. And he wanted information, which is why he ...took Suba-chan. I couldn't tell him what he wanted." She pursed her lips and shut her eyes, then forced herself to relax and continued. "The guards made comments about me, but nothing worse, and I just disregarded them. I saw that you acted different right from the start," she said as she looked at Yujiro. "But then you were still one of them." He nodded silently; there were no hard feelings. "I was hungry and thirsty, but it was bearable. And th..."  
We waited for her to continue, but no words came from her mouth. At last, Karasuki gently whispered, "Suzuno?"  
"I know," she said quickly, her voice choked. "I know... It's just... Never mind." She shook her head a little and started speaking before we could open our mouths. "And then that night, Taheiji's guards came to the cell and took me. They took me to a small room where it looked like no one went. And Taheiji was there. He ordered the other men out, and he tried to rape me."  
"WHAT?!"  
She nodded at our collective outburst. "He tried. It didn't work - I was fighting back, I lost my shoes in the fight, and he yanked my hair and my clothes and everything he could, but suddenly something just erupted from my body and he wasn't touching me any more. I looked up and there was this glowing white barrier around me, between me and him, and he couldn't get through it at all - when he tried it shocked him, badly, but it just felt like some sort of twinge to me, and it didnt even hurt me. I still couldnt get out, but nothing he could do would get him through, so he gave up and called the guards to get me. When they were there, he left, and they tried to get to me, but that barrier wouldn't let them through, either So finally they just left. I stayed there, I didnt know what else I could do, but I must have gone to sleep or passed out or something, because the next thing I knew Yujiro was locking the door to my cell behind me and there wasn't any barrier anymore. I guess it must have vanished while I slept and they just picked me up and carried me back. I still don't know what it was."  
"Byakko," Kokie said in a voice that sounded almost dead. He was listening, but he couldnt put aside his grief fully. Nor could any of us. "It had to be Protecting you from harm. You're the priestess, after all." I felt a brief, murderous twist in my middle as to why Byakko couldn't spare me the same consideration, then shoved it away mentally with all my might there was absolutely nothing that could be done about it besides what I'd already done. And the priestess was special; that was something no one would argue with.  
Suzuno nodded again, briefly, then slowly resumed her seat, no longer continuing her death grip on the table. "Probably It was definitely a relief to know that they couldn't hurt me, so while the fact that they'd _tried_ was bad, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could be. I didn't even stop to wonder if that was just a one-time thing, just after that I knew that Taheiji, and his guards, wouldn't be trying that again. Or anything. Of course, they ended up doing something, but it was much more subtle" A grimly ironic expression briefly flashed across her face. I think right after that was when they started putting that stuff in my food, perhaps hoping to wear down my defenses enough to try something again. Yujiro nodded in a silent confirmation of her guess; he clearly hadn't known what Taheiji had tried, but he was certainly intelligent enough to put the pieces together once he had them. "And then Suba-chan showed up, and then everything."  
"What about farther past that?" Karasuki asked. "Since we have returned to here, since we have had the siege?"  
"There isnt much you don't know. We found Yujiro, their drugs worked and I became sick, Suba-chan left and came back. The siege started. We set out to find Amefuri, and found him, and came back here for the summoning. And" She hesitated briefly, but before anybody could prompt her again, she began once more, talking a little faster than she had before. "It wasnt the emperor who convinced me to summon Taheiji. It was Ebizo-sama."  
Nothing met her statement but a confused silence. Ebizo-sama was a good friend of ours, had provided well for Yujiro, was a brilliant strategist, closest friend and advisor of the emperor "What do you mean?" Amefuri voiced all our thoughts. Even he had been impressed with the man when meeting him, if grudgingly. But he wouldn't deny the man's talent or not give him due credit.  
"It really was the emperor who had the idea first, wanting to question Taheiji to find out his plans and all that, but you know him. He believes that good can come of anything, and that isn't bad, but with someone like Taheiji He'd face him bravely in a fight, but I don't think he ever gave up hope that Taheiji could redeem himself." Amefuri, Yujiro, Karasuki, and Tokaki all snorted loudly at _that_ idea. "Exactly. After being in the fort, and speaking to him face to face, I couldn't believe it at all, but I didn't know how to explain it to him. Besides, questioning him _might_ be a good idea I couldn't decide if it was for the best to bring him here or leave him there. Here put him right in our midst, but stripped, and his commanders still over there. There left him free to attack other countries but only if he could gain support again, and Kutou has been starting to pull itself together at last. Possibly damage Sairou or possibly damage Konan, or Hokkan, or even Kutou itself even more? I couldnt decide.  
"But Ebizo-sama is realistic, maybe too realistic it's how he and the emperor balance so well. He came to me after that meeting, and asked to speak to me in private, so I went. And he asked me to bring Taheiji here. So they could kill him."  
Again there was only silence, but shocked this time. Suzuno went on, ignoring our still uncomprehending looks. "Killing him, he said, was the only way to be sure he was gone and while I hate killing, I couldn't in any way argue to let him live, knowing what he was. Ebizo-sama was also worried about him banding his army together again and attacking somewhere else, or perhaps starting another civil war, and he knew that that other noble that threw in his lot with Taheiji would also only stay if it was Taheiji in charge. And he of course believes in Byakko, but he confessed and I understood that there was nothing more relief-giving than _knowing_ that the one who was causing all those problems was gone, and gone for good. If 'd just wished for Byakko to kill him, there would always be that doubt among everyone who knew about it that maybe it _hadn't_ come true, as they couldn't see it with their own eyes when he's in another country across a mountain range. So he persuaded me to bring him here, with the proper precautions to keep anything from going wrong" Her voice trailed off, but she didn't cry; she simply rested her head against her knees, which she'd pulled up to her chest, and said in the saddest voice I'd ever heard from her, "And it did anyway."  
She blamed herself. We all blamed ourselves for being overconfident, incautious, and reckless, for not having stopped Motoki when he ran in at that awful moment, for underestimating our opponent, for not waiting until we had our powers back to try that. But Suzuno blamed herself for even more for putting us in that situation in the first place. And the hardest thing was it was true. If she hadn't made that wish, none of this would have happened, and she knew it. We all knew it.  
But in the end, nothing any of us had done had caused Motoki to come bursting in there, a place he wasn't supposed to be and shouldn't even have known about. We still didn't know how he knew that we were all in that room; perhaps he'd heard some of the soldiers talking, they gossiped just as badly as the maids. We'd never know, now. But we hadn't known he'd do that. He hadn't known what we were doing. It was nothing but sheer, horrible, terrible, bad luck. Suzuno wishing Taheiji there hadn't made Motoki decide to come racing to find us, so excited he wouldn't see what was happening when he crashed through the door. No, the only link through this, through all of this bad luck, was Taheiji.  
As he had ever been.  
"Suzuno" asked Karasuki, voice quiet almost trembling, "what happened with the second wish?"  
The second great, though much less important, question of the day had finally been spoken. I don't know how, but we all pushed aside our grief, shock, and numbness over Motoki to listen to her. Despite what she'd said earlier about us knowing, neither she nor Tatara had explained anything. We only knew about that blaze of light, and somehow they'd ended up crying together on her bed. Whatever it was, it wasn't good but it had been pushed aside in the face of more immediate, universal terror and sorrow.  
To our surprise, Suzuno didn't move to answer. Tatara reached to take one of her hands, and then slowly, reluctantly, began to explain, as if the sheer act of keeping the secret was holding back something terrible from happening and he was delaying the telling as long as possible. "Two Two weeks ago, I asked Suzuno to marry me." There was none of the normal joy that would have followed such an announcement; we could all tell that that joy wouldn't last. "She said yes but we received a visit." Unusually, a slightly annoyed look passed over his face. "From a being named Taiitsukun. She if it is a she is named in several books and scrolls as a compatriot of the four gods, even greater than they, and more powerful, guardian of this world. But she chooses where and when to bestow her powers, and only interferes in human events if things are dreadfully desperate nothing less than the end of all people. Apparently Taheiji was just small enough for her to ignore him and let us fend for ourselves, perhaps. But she wouldn't let anything interfere with our summoning, either; I suspect we've been having some rather concealed help from her since the beginning. She's most interested in keeping balance in the world, and seishi are a powerful way to restore that balance. And she told Suzuno and I, that night, that" Amazingly, he blushed a little. "Nothing could happen between us or it would ruin the summoning. When we finally realized she meant physically, we promised to behave ourselves, she went away, and we havent slept in the same room together since." Everyone knew that they'd shared a bed, but everyone also knew that nothing had happened between them, and they did it as a way to be close to each other as much as possible. It was sweet, and endearing, a proof that their love was much more than physical. With the chaos of the past two weeks, though, which was only one or two days before wed set out to find Amefuri, no one had apparently noticed that they'd given up that habit. "The priestess must be a virgin. But we were still engaged. But"  
"But I saw Taiitsukun again," Suzuno began when Tatara stopped, "and she told me we'd apparently misunderstood. When she said, 'You can't be together,' she meant forever. For all time. She still hadn't lifted her head from her knees, and her hand clutched Tatara's tightly. "You know I'm from another world The worlds only cross when a miko must come to this world, to summon the god. And beyond the summoning they are sundered again.  
I think most of us understood, but we didn't want to believe it. Who would? If she meant what it sounded like For the third time, we all just sat in silence, waiting for what was coming next and feeling a growing dread approaching. "After the summoning, and the wishes, the beast god is supposed to consume the miko. She's supposed to die. But I fought him off, and while he took what he needed from me, he did not take me. I didnt even know if I'd be able to stop the god consuming me, but I asked Taiitsukun what would happen anyway and she said I'd be returned to my world." She broke off as she choked a little, biting her lip slightly and trying not to cry.  
"But you're still here" Inoue, who had stayed with us through it all, was more confused than anything. "You're in that chair and touching Tatara-sama and we're speaking to you"  
"I know," Suzuno replied with a kind of hiccup. "I know. I decided the best thing to do, the way that would make _sure_ that wouldn't happen, was to use a wish to stay here, or to move back and forth as I wanted. After all, I was a miko; the barriers between the worlds are only opened for _us_, right? Why couldn't I open it when I wanted to, to be able to stay here and still see my family, let them know I was doing well and not to worry? I thought it would be easy I'm only one small person, after all." She hiccupped again; her tears wanted to come faster now, and she was still holding them back. "So, after we went to the battlefield, I decided to call Byakko and make that wish  
"He came. He is glorious, all shining and pure, so pure and that he'll blind you if you aren't careful. And peaceful, that heavy, absolute kind of peace that almost feels like it can smother you. And, together, we asked him."  
Tatara squeezed her hand tighter, if it was possible, and began again. "He listened. Every word we said, every pledge of undying love, every cajoling word and he simply said 'I cannot do that.' I don't even know if he was sad about it, but I suppose he was. So we asked if Suzuno could just stay here, no visiting, and he said 'I cannot; don't ask me for things that I cannot grant.' We yelled, we screamed, we cried nothing worked. Nothing could change his mind."  
" 'I am not powerful enough to do what you wish,'" Suzuno quoted. " 'There is no one who is, not all the gods combined or even Taiitsukun. The miko is here until the summoning has been accomplished, and then this world cannot hold her.' Byakko, a god, not powerful enough" Her voice was more than slightly bitter. "I trusted in him, believed in him and his ability to do this, this one thing, for me, and he can't. But he" She trailed away for a few seconds, then slowly began to speak again. "He offered me enough time to say goodbye."  
"Hes strong enough to hold the barrier open for a little while," Tatara spoke over our sudden confused jumble of voices. "Half a day. Perhaps a little longer. Not a full day, for certain. And that will be all."  
As everyone else erupted out of their places in a cacophony of questions, I could only sit there, one horrible thought repeating over and over in my mind: _We lost him, we're losing her, we lost him, we're losing her, we lost him, we're losing her._ Over the past months Suzuno had become more important to me than Hatoko, my eldest sister, closer to me in every way possible except blood, even closer in some ways than Masame, who was still too young to understand much of what we'd been going through. She knew my secrets, my fears, my hopes, as I knew hers. Wed become inseparable in so many ways And we would be forced to separate.  
Tatara hadn't moved from his seat, but he had put both arms around Suzuno and pulled her to lean against him, which she'd done willingly. He wasn't taking for granted any of the now precious time he still had left with her, mere hours if he was correct. And if I, and the other seishi, would feel as if a piece of us had been ripped away, Tatara would surely feel as if he'd lost all his heart. It hadn't been as much time as some courtships I'd seen, but they hadn't needed as much time. From the beginning, they matched perfectly, her touch of laughter and his touch of seriousness blending well, two intelligent minds, two thoughtful and kind souls. They were made for each other, and they'd known it, and run with it, and loved it, and each other, as fully as two people could. What could possibly be worse to such a relationship than to be torn apart, fully and forever, with no hope of meeting again?  
And Suzuno not only would she be leaving her heart behind, but also the rest of us. While the seven of us would be there for each other, grief-stricken but supported, she would have no one. She had her family and her friends, yes, but they weren't _us_ we had formed a bond in these months that few could ever know, made stronger by the force of the god within all of us. We were eight parts of a whole, and we knew it. But now, we were being broken apart.  
Did Suzuno have a way to receive news of us in her homeworld? We had no such way here, but she'd spoken of marvelous things occasionally that none of us could picture in any way, not even Toroki. Things like cameras, and automobiles, and airplanes They were mysteries to us, but could they help her find us somehow? Would she ever know about Motoki's funeral, to be held several days in the future, or our wedding, or Toroki's hoped-for recovery? Would she know how the rest of us went on to spend our lives, our work, our families? Was there _any way_ we could somehow stay together, even if we couldn't see her again?  
  
  
  
Over the next few hours we spoke little, in quiet voices, retelling stories of our journey together as if trying to fix the details in our minds before we were separated. But it was too somber to really enjoy it. Several amusing anecdotes, such as my drunk episode or making Tatara and Suzuno finally confess to each other, only received a small, quiet laugh from us, half-hearted at best. Tokaki had taken my hand a long time before and not let go, and I was grateful; it gave me something to anchor myself to. After all the confusion, panic, and sadness of the day, I sometimes felt like simply floating off into the sky, letting the wind push me wherever it wanted, to land in a place where surely there was less hurt than this.  
We all silently expected Tatara and Suzuno to leave us, to savor their precious few remaining hours together alone, but neither of them made a move. They stayed in their chairs, holding hands much as Tokaki and I were, talking with the rest of us and refusing to cry. It seemed theyd already done their crying together; after they were separated, they were sure to cry again, but now was too important to waste with tears.  
Various faces peered in at us, none of them really registering to our blurred minds as we sat in our protective shell, isolated from the world around us. Once, Dr. Yamura silently instituted himself inside with us to check on Toroki, and managed to convey that there'd been no change and leave without us even really understanding. We dimly heard bells tolling at one point, Motoki's death bells, which silenced us all again. There was simply no way we could pull ourselves out of that on our own.  
And then Toroki stirred. No one noticed it at first, still sunk into our individual miseries, but when I turned my head in just the right way I saw his arm moving slowly across the blankets. I dropped Tokaki's hand as if it was a hot coal, in turn startling him out of his trance and making him yell in surprise, which startled everyone _else_. Within no time all nine of us had realized he was waking up and had gathered around his bed. Amefuri and Karasuki began dragging people back, yelling to give him light and air, dont crowd him, dont startle him. His head began slowly and minutely moving on the pillow, back and forth, though it was clear that each movement cost him a great deal of pain, and his fingers began to curl themselves under in infinitesimal margins. He said nothing, but his movement gradually and slowly, so slowly improved with every movement.  
"_Give him AIR!_" Amefuri bellowed as he became entirely fed up with the crowd of seishi, guard, and maid around the bed  
And a sharp, chilly gust of wind burst through the room on his last word, smashing Tokaki and Yujiro up against the wall in a bizarre reenactment of our meeting with the last seishi. Amefuri was as startled as all the rest of us but he wasted no time in sitting down and yanking the left leg of his trousers up his calf, and the white symbol of "rain net" was glowing there above the knob of ankle bone just as it should.  
It took the rest of us about three seconds to try our powers as well. A seed sprouted in Tatara's palm, Kokie pulled a metal candleholder off the table and to him, Tokaki blinked and was across the room, Karasuki yanked her string into a knot and a protective dome sprung up. I had to settle for making my symbol light; my power wasn't good for a simple demonstration, and I didn't want to injure someone just to have an opportunity to-  
"Subaru!" Yujiro yelled at the exact same time my thoughts caught up to themselves. Without any more prompting, I grabbed Toroki's wrist and quickly murmured the healing spell, then held my breath.  
We all knew that our powers weren't as strong as they could be; barely a third of the way back to normal, if I was any judge at estimating. But they were back. There was a great deal of comfort to take from that fact alone and a great deal of bitterness as well, knowing that if we'd waited until now to confront Taheiji, we could have _would have_ saved Motoki's life. But now was not the time for that.  
Toroki's bruises were shrinking behind his bandages; apparently I didn't have enough power to make an instantaneous healing possible, but actually watching it happen was in a way even more satisfying. We _knew_ he was getting better; the proof was right in front of our eyes, not here one moment and gone the next. The blood that had seeped into the bandages began to fade and shrink, and his skin gradually lost its pallid look as the color returned to his cheeks and forehead, his slight movement becoming more confident the longer it went on. His breathing evened, and deepened, and soon he resembled himself again much more than he resembled a corpse.  
Suzuno reached forward and carefully removed the bandage, and we let out varied sounds of relief as the bruising and blood was proved to be gone entirely. I blindly reached back and pushed whoever was behind me back a step or two, taking his hand and checking his pulse as I now had the most medical knowledge of anyone in the group. Its beat was strong beneath my fingertips, making me sigh with relief. "Come on, Toroki," I whispered, gripping his hand and wishing with all my strength. "Come on come back to us"  
Then I felt his fingers slowly closing around my hand, gripping it tentatively in return, and I nearly sobbed with joy. His eyes slowly flickered open as his head tilted from side to side a little on his neck, left arm raising slowly to carefully finger his right temple, where he'd been hit. "Where where am I?" he whispered, almost a croak.  
"You're in your bedroom. We brought you back here afterwards." Tokaki knelt next to me, watching him carefully, but with relief.  
"What what happened?"  
"Taheiji you jumped at him, and he swung the sword, and you've been hit in the temple," Karasuki answered, finished moving people around.  
Toroki shook his head a little again, with a tad more energy, and once again tightened his fingers around my hand. He placed his other hand over his eyes for several moments, as if thinking, then pushed his sandy bangs away from his face and sighed. "Who am I?"  
Shock. Total, utter shock. No one answered him, as no one _could_ answer him. No one was willing to say the one word we all knew we were thinking: amnesia. We all knew Toroki more than well enough to know that jokester he might be, but never about something like this. He wouldn't play with our thoughts and emotions this badly, paralyzing us with fear. And paralyzed we were, as none of us could move or even speak for several moments, apparently long enough for him to become worried. "What? What is it?" His voice was gradually growing stronger, and more worried and panicked. "What's happening? Whats going on?"  
"You" Yujiro began, having to stop and swallow to clear his throat. "You don't remember anything?"  
"Nothing, and what is going _on_?"  
"Do you remember any of us?"  
"No! Someone answer my question!"  
"No," Suzuno choked, turning to bury her face into Tatara's shoulder. "It can't be happening like this!"  
"_What is going ON?_"  
Even newly-healed he could yell as loudly as he wanted, and the rest of us fell silent. How were we supposed to explain to him about about _everything?_  
"_NO!_" Suzuno screamed again, loud enough to match Toroki. "_NO! YOU PROMISED! YOU PROMISED!_"  
She was she was _glowing_, our miko, glowing a white that slowly grew brighter and more opalescent, as if she was simply a channel for something else again. Her skin and hair were being bleached of all color by that light, and Yujiro grabbed Inoue to turn both of them away and cover their eyes with their hands to save themselves from going blind, the man leaning over the girl protectively. We seishi flinched back and raised our hands to shield our vision except for Toroki but we could still see Suzuno in the midst of that blaze, clinging to Tatara with all her will, he a dark figure of strength holding her to himself just as tightly.  
Suzuno had been right. What we'd felt at the ceremony, what we'd felt as the wishes were made it was Byakko in all his terrible peacefulness. Not one of us had ever thought of "peace" as a weight, but it was, and as it settled in all our chests we visibly bent over slightly under the new burden. It seemed to whisper to me, "_You brought this. You must care for it, nurture it, allow it to grow,_" and I was finally able to identify the weight as duty, responsibility.  
And as we each accepted that responsibility, one by one, straightening again, the weight becoming an unconscious part of us, the light was fading from Suzuno. Her strength seemed to diminish with the light, until she was being held up by Tatara more than holding on to him, and we could see tear tracks glistening on her cheeks and his as well, running down into her soft hair. And as the light vanished completely, she whispered, "It's over"  
Her borrowed time was gone. Any moment now, Byakko would call her home, and she'd never return to this world again. Never return to _us_ again. For a fraction of a moment I was once again perfectly ready and willing to murder my patron god for ripping us apart like this, but the impulse died as she slowly moved from Tatara's arms to face us, not bothering to wipe away the tears.  
"I'm" But her voice died with a quiet sound, and she simply looked at all of us, from Amefuri in the corner to Toroki in the bed, Yujiro still somewhat shielding Inoue to Karasuki shaking her head, just a little, in denial. She didn't try to speak again, but moved swiftly and grabbed Karasuki in a hug at the same time the other practically ran forward. Suzuno struggled to hold back the tears, but Karasuki lost her control, and I knew this would be the only time I ever saw her cry. They said something, whispers, to each other, and Karasuki nodded a little, and only after several moments did they let go and Suzuno propel herself towards Kokie, being caught in a grip that could break iron but took extra care with our miko.  
"Suzuno," he choked out, and she just shook her head, not trusting her voice, and hugged him as hard as she could while he held her with just as much fervor. Once again Suzuno didn't cry, trying to grab as many precious moments with us as she could and not ruin them by not being able to see through tears, but the trails trickled silently down Kokie's face and didnt stop after she kissed his cheek and moved away from him.  
Amefuri was next, and what was surprising was that he returned her embrace at all. He was somewhat stiff and faltering, as he was out of practice at physically expressing his emotions, but his arms went around her waist and he allowed her to press her face into his shoulder. "I won't lie and say I've enjoyed it all," he remarked, trying to be gruff and failing miserably as we heard the waver in his words, "but I thank you," he finished simply.  
She nodded, and only replied, "Thank you and be happy," before letting him go. Tokaki was there to pull her to him in a rib-crushing hug, which she returned just as hard as I could see the breath go out of him a little. He kissed her on the cheek, exactly like a brother, and she kissed him back, and he pushed her away before he could lose control, a hand rising to cover his face as he turned away to compose himself.  
I didnt even hesitate, and Suzuno swooped on me so hard we nearly went tumbling onto the bed. For a long, long while, we did nothing but hold each other as tightly as we could, knitting together the last pieces of our sisterhood firmly, communicating everything without words. Wherever she was, I'd have my sister it was as much as I could expect now.  
"Take care of our brother," she whispered for me alone, and I nodded slightly, hugging her once more before pulling back to look at her. Strangely, I hadn't felt the urge to cry as we stood there, and it didn't return to me now. Instead, I kissed her in the middle of her forehead, directly over where the symbol of Byakko had briefly shown, brushing her stray hair wisps aside. There was everything to say, and nothing to say, and we did both, communicating without words. Eventually, she moved away, and I sank into a chair slowly, now fighting the urge to sob.  
She moved past Toroki for the moment, who was looking entirely bewildered but who hadn't said anything yet, and Yujiro simply opened his arms and took her in. "You probably saved my life," he said, fairly calmly but still with a tremor. "I can't thank you enough for that."  
"Go back to your family and be there for them That's all the thanks I need." He nodded, squeezed her again, and let her go, and Inoue pounced on her before she could move a foot. "Inoue-chan" Suzuno half-whispered, "I need you to keep them in line for me."  
Inoue half-gulped in fear, but she nodded as well and whispered, "I'll do my best Suzuno-san. Suzuno kissed Inoue's cheek as well before drawing back, then moving back in my direction to kneel at the bed. Poor Toroki was still utterly confused, lying in a room filled with people who were clearly in distress but unable to help and not even knowing who those people were. It was no wonder he flinched a little when Suzuno gently took his hand, lacing her fingers in with his and watching his face.  
"Toroki" she began, and paused to find the right words. "My name is Suzuno." The look on Karasuki's face could make any heart break as she heard her miko introduce herself again to her seishi. "You may not remember it now, but you are very, very important to me, and to everyone here" She bit back a sob, continuing through sheer determination. "Youve helped us, saved us, guided us, played with us, and so much more Youre our brother. You're my my wonderful, wonderful brother, and no matter what you remember, or where you are, or where I am, I'll always love you, and I hope you'll soon remember just how much I do. The tears were threatening to spill down her cheeks again, but she fought on. "Be safe, be well be loved." Then she leaned down and kissed him gently on the mouth, then wrapped her arms around his chest even in that awkward position and miracle of miracles he hugged her back, calming under her arms and accepting the fact that we, no matter who we were, cared about him even the one who was leaving now. He didn't try to speak, and she didn't either, but eventually she slowly drew back, and he let her go reluctantly, but without a fight, settling back in the bed and looking nearly as lost and broken as he had when he'd first lost his powers. Suzuno couldn't look at him when she stood, turning back to the last one of all.  
Tatara still stood where she'd left him, having watched her say goodbye to each of us with the same steady expression, though we all knew he was breaking inside as badly as she, worse than any of the rest of us. Their eyes met, and there was no keeping them apart; she didn't run, but she moved quickly and almost desperately to him, grabbing him as he grabbed her and holding each other as if trying to meld into one being. They didn't kiss, they didn't move, they only stood there clutching each other with that same note of desperation Suzuno had been carrying since the last blaze of light, no sound or tear issuing from them. None of us could look away, none of us was capable of giving them privacy right now; their palpable despair calling to ours as a lodestone calls to a needle. It was their last moment together, and they were a perfect set that was doomed to be broken apart.  
Soon, all too soon, the room began to brighten. Much slower than the last time, though still coming from Suzuno, the white light slowly and steadily increased. Instead of being almost solid, this time it was flowing, muted, liquid light, so soft you could almost drown in it. Even Yujiro could see, though his eyes showed as much grief as the rest of ours. It spread around Tatara and Suzuno, bit by bit engulfing them in scarves of light, both of them at the center as neither would move away from the other. At last, the light cloaked them both completely and when it disappeared, in a scattered explosion of motes, only Tatara was left, his arms limp at his sides as he slowly sank to the floor and the tears began to fall.  
  
  
  
Five days later, Motoki was buried in the royal cemetery located within the palace grounds. The Emperor and Empress had wanted as few people there as was possible, but there were certain rituals and courtesies that had to be observed, and politicians that had to be satisfied, even in the burial of one of the beloved children of grieving parents. We were fortunate that everyone had the decency to at least pretend that no ministers were fighting with each other, that lords and nobles of every sort weren't constantly trying to curry favor with their ruler and, Byakko only knew, maybe today they meant it. The death of a child, one who had so much to live for, tended to make everything else seem trite. It was certain that those men who had already had at least one brush with death, be it on the battlefield or in everyday life, were remembering exactly what it felt like to open their eyes after that and realize they were _alive_ and would continue to live, and survive whatever had befallen them. Realizing again just how precious life was was a lesson many of the politicians seemed to need.

But it took a child's life to give them that lesson.  
We seishi were present, of course, even Toroki. While he was as healthy as he ever was before the confrontation, nothing we could say or do could bring back his memory and, depressingly, his powers hadn't returned either, and the white "turtle snout" had stubbornly refused to show itself. The rest of us were back to normal, but no matter how much energy I poured into healing spells, there was just nothing we could do. There had been that flicker of empathy with Suzuno, when she'd said goodbye, that we didn't know the cause of perhaps it had been entirely natural, as the emotions that had been in that room had felt if they could crush a person, or perhaps it had been a small sign of his powers. We didn't know, and unless he manifested some more symptoms soon, he might never get them back.  
We were the only people Tatara had talked to since Suzuno. Emperor, servant, it didn't matter who, he would only speak to the people who had been in the room when Suzuno had disappeared. He had a wound as deep as Toroki, but this wasn't one I could heal.  
It's impossible to heal someone who has lost half their soul.  
He was between Kokie and I, watching the grave and the priests lifting their arms to Byakko in the heavens more closely than anyone. But all of us were watching carefully as the painstakingly selected servants, in brand-new robes, moved in to begin the burial. Breaking almost completely with tradition, which required new Byakko-white attire, the royal couple had flatly insisted that Motoki be buried in his favorite clothing which turned out to be the outfit he'd been wearing when I'd first met him, made of sturdy green material with white and blue accents. Mercifully, though I knew what it had cost Dr. Yamura, his wound had been cleaned and bandaged, and he was adorned in a short white overshirt with a high neck to hide any sign of how he'd died. I knew that none of us could have remained there if we could see it.  
His dark red hair and eyes, closed as if in sleep, at last disappeared under the dirt of the slowly growing mound, as the priests continued to chant. It lasted for what seemed an eternity, and no time at all, until finally they were lowering the elaborate marker into the ground at his head and packing the dirt around it, and placing a bowl of sand for burning incense beside it. The servants packed the dirt down, to prevent it being washed away in what little rain came this far, and broken at last from the entrancement of seeing him, I looked up.  
The sky, which had been unusually cloudy for months, as if reflecting the desperation in our war-savaged country, was clearing, slowly but surely. It seemed appropriate, somehow, for Byakko to welcome home his child with the sun, rather than the rain. 


End file.
